mariam

Darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream. ☁︎

[xmaryamx11]

I don’t hate myself no but I feel so sorry for her and I can’t help her and that’s hurt more

[xmaryamx11]

I’m gonna be 18 in 6days and the only thing I wanna do is to sleep and hide from people as much as I can ? My 6 years old self must be shocked if she saw that

[xmaryamx11]

Did you ever have that one friend who you told yourself that he is different from others and that he really loves you and then he leaves like everyone,taking about you like you are nothing or it’s just me all over again??

[bakwaaas]

I love how irrelevant tumblr is. like no celebrities on here, no colleagues or family on here, no one’s famous off tumblr or making money, tbh no ones even updating the site like is there even any staff? who knows? it’s bliss

[xmaryamx11]

wonder if I'm going to be fine again, because all I've been feeling for a long is pain and I’m so tired of that

[newobsessionweekly]

I don’t wanna be ordinary

I don’t wanna be ordinary. I don’t wanna grow up just to go to work, come back home, if I’m lucky enough, to a husband and a kid. Like, I wanna do something, I want to leave something behind when I die. But it’s like, I’m not good enough for anything. There are moments when I feel useless. Out there are people really beautiful, really talented and who had a goal and achieved it. What about me? I’m gonna die and it will be like I was never there. This thing scares the shit out of me. I want to do something with my life, but I don’t know what.  That is the big deal about a controlled life. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know if I’m good at something. I don’t know what I like. It seems like I like everything and nothing at the same time. And beyond that, I’m not a beautiful person, neither inside nor outside. So what are my chances in life? 

[xmaryamx11]

Haven't talked to anyone for a long time

, I don’t even know how to do it anymore like when someone trying to say good morning I'm going to stare like an idiot until they felt scared and runs.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

little ways to start learning to love yourself:

remind yourself being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely, write down small habits and things you do that you usually let go unnoticed, don’t say things to yourself (negative self talk) that you wouldn’t say to a friend, take care of yourself, do nice things for yourself like treating yourself to a comfort food, give it time and practice

[thegoodvybe]

[xmaryamx11]

god please I want to know what it’s feels like to be good enough, that’s really hurt know that I wasn’t even enough that’s hurt

[xmaryamx11]

feel like no matter how loud my scream can be there is no one ever will listen to me no one will notice me

[xmaryamx11]

Can’t believe that everything I ever want everything I need and do my best to reach it doesn’t even matter with me if I get it or not anymore and I hate that more than u think

[xmaryamx11]

It's as if all the power I had , had been consumed, didn't that pain get bored?

[xmaryamx11]

I hate having no words to use, I hate feeling like there’s nothing can explain how empty I’m

[depression-healthy-carrier]

I hate getting so sad to the point where my body completely shuts down, and all I can do is just lay there and think about all my problems

[xmaryamx11]

Yeah I lost a lot of weight I don’t want to eat I keep doing it waiting for the day that my body can’t take it anymore and all of it will end, I don’t want to be part of that cruel world anymore I don’t want to get hurt anymore stop asking me if I’m okay or not because I hate laying but I have to because I know that I’m gonna be in that pain forever and telling you that will never do anything

[xmaryamx11]

this loneliness is unbearable