Category: 18+
Relationships: None
Fandom: Dead by Daylight
Tags: OC, Transphobia, Nightmares, Horror, Memory loss, 1st person POV
A/N: Hi there. This fic is me trying horror since its my first time writing it. So if its a little weirdly written, sorry about that lol but I did enjoy writing it.
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I had no idea when I had ended up here. I didn’t even know how I had ended up here. Last thing I could remember was leaving a building. I don't remember what kind… it couldn't have been my home… it didn't feel like it was, at least. It had been a week since I had been here, at least I think. There was barely a day and night cycle but, sometimes the trials would pause and we’d be able to rest for a bit. I assumed that was night, though this ‘rest’ didn't last long, always dragged out of sleep.
At first, I had no idea what anything was. All I did was cry, wanting to go home. The other’s seemed empathetic, that was nice of them. They explained to me what all of this even was and… well I still couldn't wrap my head around it. It all seemed like a nightmare, but it was lasting too long to be just a nightmare… maybe I had fallen into a coma. I didn't know, it was terrifying not knowing, whether if this was even real, and even if it was, if it was ever going to end.
Some of my fellow “survivors” had been here for… centuries it seemed. At least from what I could tell from their clothes. None of them remembered what their previous lives were, mind’s too numbed out by the repeated torture. I didn't wanna ask them too many questions, it felt cruel. Their mind probably blocked all of their memories out, asking them to remember it felt like opening a wound that had healed half-way.
I was slowly getting used to the trials, learning where to go and where to not go. How to find generators quickly, how to distract each killer, what the best places to hide were, everything was starting to get etched into my mind, as if that was my only purpose… here though, it was my only purpose. Whether I liked it or not, I needed to accept I was never gonna escape this hell, believing otherwise would just be giving myself paper cuts.
I had just got done with another trial. It was the doctor this time. I hated going against him, he would always make weird comments about my body, something about fixing it. When I got back at the campfire, most of the survivors were already asleep. Some kneeling on each other, others in their tents or beside the logs facing the fire for heat. That was the only nice thing here, the fire, it was comforting. Maybe it was there to keep us sane… I didn’t wanna think about that, it would make the only comforting thing here unnerving.
I didn't know if I was gonna have more trials, but I was already feeling exhausted. Phantom pain all over my body from being attacked, even though there was no wound. I decided to just go and lay in my tent, if I fell asleep than ‘oh well’. I changed into the one other pair of clothes I had, though calling them clothes would an exaggeration, they were just some shorts. I was fine with wearing my current shirt, it was comfortable enough.
I bunched up my bag and put it under my head, and tried my best to sleep. Even though the pain was still there, it had begun to fade… or at least it felt like it did. Maybe I was just getting used to it, hopefully I was, it would make everything easier.
Opening my eyes I was in some place… I'm not sure where, though it looked like a bathroom. It felt familiar however. The tiles were white and reached the top edges of the wall, well, they looked like they used to be white. Most of them had a yellow hue to them, they probably haven't been cleaned in a while. There was a toilet, a bath tub and a sink, it was very compact bathroom. There was one tooth bush in the holder and half used toothpaste. There were some stickers on the mirror behind the sink, though they were ripped and had parts of them missing. The mirror’s tint had faded it seems, I could see inside the tile wall behind it.
I walked out of the bathroom, there wasn't much to do here anyway. As soon as I opened the door I was welcomed by the smell of dollar store body spray and sweat. I was take aback by the smell, but it quickly got less intense. Looking around, this room seemed pretty… normal. There were posters of women on the wall, but not of those models in bikinis instead, they looked like they were a part of an art magazine. They were dressed in elaborate statuesque clothing with sharp corners and hair sculpted into an art piece. Weirdest of all, they looked… familiar.
As I thought more about it… everything here felt eerily familiar. I could not remember from where, but all of it gave me a sense of deja vu that wasn't going away.
“Henry! Come down to the kitchen I need to talk to you”
That wasn't my name, but I moved towards it. It felt so foreign, but I still moved towards it without a thought.
I walked down to said kitchen and saw a middle aged woman standing behind the counter. She was wearing sweatpants and a loosely fitting shirt with ‘Love’ written on it in calligraphy. Her hair was tied up in a bun and shew as holding some papers in her hand. There was a scowl on her face, barely noticeable however.
“Sit” She seemed angry with how she said it, as if I had no other choice. I didn't say anything to her yet, my heart was already pounding out of my chest.
“Can you please tell me what the fuck all this shit is?” She threw a news paper in front of me. It had the headline “HRT clinics near you! Call in to make an appointment and meet with a doctor today”.
“I found it under your bed. What the hell have you been doing? Is this why you grew your hair out? Is this why you don't wanna cut your nails?”
I didn't know what to say… was this why she called me by that name… am I home?
“Answer me!” She yelled slamming down her hand on the counter. That made me flinch in my seat. I opened my mouth to defend myself… but I nothing came out.
“What kind of SICK and PERVERTED shit have you been up to. You really are that mentally ill? You think that you can just cross dress and harass women everywhere you go? That all this is just a costume?”
“…no”
“Then what is all this? I did not raise some… some pervert. You are a MAN and you know that. Do you think women sacrificed so much just so you can make a mockery of them? I worked my ass off to raise you, to make sure you’d never have to have a hard life and you do THIS? It’s disgusting. Who taught you this perverted stuff?”
“I… no… no one did anything I-”
“Then why!? You think this is fun? Do you get off to this? Pretend to me a girl so you can watch them in bathrooms? I did NOT raise a tranny, I raised a son that is respectful. Not some Degenerate beast.”
“sorry”
“You're not FUCKING SORRY. If you were you would have never tried any of this.”
Tears started to well up in my eyes. I couldn't say anything to her, my heart was no longer beating fast, it was actively slowing down, to kill me right there and save me from this.
“Wait ‘till your father comes home. He will deal with you. We didn't sacrifice so much just for our son to be tranny who’ll whore himself out for money. That’s all what they do.”
“Mom I-”
“DON'T CALL ME MOM. GO”
I have never ran somewhere faster. It felt like everything in my body was ringing. I hated everything about all of this. My face was boiling from how sweaty it was. I was scared. Horrified as to what dad would do when he got back, horrified of what my friends would think. Was I even gonna have friends.
Before I could have the chance to think more, black fog wrapped around me, stopping me in my tracks and eliminating any vision I had.
I could hear loud pangs of bells… I was outside a hospital… standing… tears still soaking my face. I could see a water fountain near the entrance to the hospital. I went to wash my face and try to catch myself… to try to think I was safe now. For a moment I saw the reflection in the water… it was me when I was still with my parents.
Looking around, I saw a generator in the parking lot. I was back in a trial… as a man… was I ever not one… I didn't know anymore.
REMEMBER IF YOU HONK ALLYOU AT ME I WILL HONK HONK IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER U HAVE TO HONK IF IF YOU WILL IF I HONK MYSELF WANT HONK IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY HONK
Hi, I'm xolotto. I use she/they pronouns and this blog will mainly be for writing fanfics and occasional posting. Feel free to request anything as well.
Fandoms:
Note: This list will expand and change as I write more
areudirty
pixelskylines
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