iremi joe biden

listen here jack one day you will drift for days in the eastern zee. one day you will dock at our shores and see my sevenfold visage. one day you will seize your destiny from my silvered mouth.

[xordxord]

my chud son, ponzi scheme, has embezzled thousands of good boy points via clever manipulations of the chore ledger

[hotvampireadjacent]

[xordxord]

accidentally sipping from a giant bottle marked with a giant skull and crossbones and jimming the camera as my last act before all my flesh sloughs off my bones

[xordxord]

gnome snuck up on me while i was gardening today squeaking something about untold adventures or treasures or something but he spooked me so i upped the switch on him. gnome brains all over my patio

[xordxord]

but if you're avoidant. and im avoidant.. who's flying the plane?

[xordxord]

this user has been crushed by a boulder loosed from divine hands

[xordxord]

i am what they used to call a 'hopeless romantic' and what they now call 'neurochemically imbalanced'. isn't etymological evolution fun!

[xordxord]

shitpost all you want i shall fend off the probing large language model marauders

[xordxord]

the perils of having a woke father

[xordxord]

crush my corpse into a cube and store it in your computer case and i shall serve as your spirituodigital grim

[xordxord]

detonates my jury-rigged emp to disable the Grok chip in my brain monitoring my hormones so I can have a wank but when the dust clears I'm lying dead from a stroke

[xordxord]

No... they're not ready, I say as I take my silly hat off and put it back on the shelf. My Palantir auto-thoughtcrime Drone disengages, and I am spared another day

[xordxord]

the rothschilds have stolen my wifi router

[xordxord]

to do: go to Chongqing and repeatedly say 'yall mind if a white boy speaks a little mandarin tonight' until i get punched in the face by a beautiful woman

[xordxord]

transgender Beatles be like: i read the news today oh boy/about a lucky doll who clocked the trade

[xordxord]

opp's eyes shone too much with the light of youth so i spiked their murgatroyd's jellied mushroom cakes with the flesh of a zee-beast. good luck walking through veilgarden without children weeping and fair maidens turning their faces from your peligin countenance now, you knave!

[xordxord]

tumblr appears to think im a lesbian. i dont have the pure heart or divine soul to do something like that. sorry lesbians.