Hello everyone! I needed a better pinned post after several links from a particular outdated fanfiction website broke, so I’m here again to invite you to enjoy my Malfoy-centric and often smutty fics. On AO3 you can find my new updates, the fics I’m most proud of from years gone by, and all of the smut. There are a few Lumione fics on fanfiction.net, and if you prefer it there (? but no judgement, I used to too), I do update my main Lucissa fic Be Careful of the Curse there as well.
Now for the sell! What can you expect? Lots of very lovely canon Lucissa, a Lucius/OC pairing that is frankly wonderful for self-projection (why do you think I wrote it?), an ongoing fic where Lucius, Minerva, and Remus sell drugs together for some reason, the definitive telling of Snucius, and dom!Lucius/dom!Severus/sub!OC smut featuring professor roleplay, daddy dom themes, spanking, and BDSM. And maybe after you come down from that you’d like the most insanely fluffy post-war Weasley family tableau. Rated G, not sure how that got in there. Anyway, standard assortment and there’s plenty more of the same sprinkled in there.
Lucius Malfoy falls into a life-altering forbidden affair with one of Draco's schoolmates in a world Voldemort rules.
Felicity suddenly saw herself as she was. Lacy nightgown, silk bedding, mahogany bed. The fingers that were twisting the duvet in front of her were heavy with gold. It was late in the morning and no one had demanded anything of her, and no one would for the rest of the day, if she chose it. She had had no reason to journey out of the house except to serve her own needs and to see people who shielded her from pain, and from politics. She was throwing a tantrum, and one of the most important men in their world had been summoned to soothe her.
“I don’t understand –” she started, and then her voice broke. “Severus, please tell me…tell me I’m owed something. Because I’m beginning to forget why it is I feel so wronged. All the time, I’m unsettled about something, but it goes on and on and it starts to feel like a long time ago –”
Felicity dissolved into weeping, and turned over into her pillow. Severus didn’t budge, but if she had looked up she would have seen the crease of his forehead deepen. He didn’t see any of the things she ascribed to herself; he saw a child drowning in a place she never should have been settled. He saw the faint redness rimming her rings, signaling the beginning of swelling, and most of all he saw how much was kept from her, despite her elevation to a near queenly status.
“I think so much is owed to you, Felicity, that I already regret voicing any defense of Lucius, even though I feel he’s owed that too. You’re very right to be upset. It’s just that none of us know what to offer you.”
My decade spanning epic canon-supporting Lucissa fic is finished
I've been chipping away at Be Careful of the Curse for exactly 8 years and finally wrapped it up yesterday. I would love for you to check it out so I've included some high points and corresponding quotes as a teaser. I'm going to add the excerpts after the cut to avoid forcing the world's longest post on you
Lucius and Narcissa as an arranged match, but only after his intended bride Andromeda runs away
Severus as their houseguest while they're newlyweds and he's fresh out of school
Difficulty conceiving that almost breaks Narcissa
Lucius's internal monologue about the diary in Chamber of Secrets
Draco's reaction to his task and taking the dark mark
Lucius and Narcissa grieving their oldest friend
An attempt at reconciliation with Andromeda
Draco realizing he will never escape a cursed life
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Their first meeting after Andromeda's elopement
"How are you taking this news?" he asked her. Narcissa looked up and into the front window where she could see that the adults' conversation had turned more serious. Her father was writing something on a piece of parchment, and Lucius's mother's brow was furrowed. Behind her, life in Muggle London continued beyond the dense shrubbery.
"I haven't taken it too much at all, if I'm being honest. It's just starting to sink in, and really I've been thinking more of Andy…not that there aren't things concerning us to think of, but it's all come as such a shock to me. Apparently I'm the only one."
"No offense taken. But you have to know that your sister wasn't happy. I could always see it, and to be honest I wondered how she and I could make a go at it together."
"Really?"
"Really. Know that she'll be happier wherever she's gone, Narcissa."
"That's very sweet of you to say," she said, absentmindedly wondering what it would be like to hold his hand.
"I'm a very sweet man, you'll find. No different from when we were young." She looked up, and he had that same lazy smile on. It had been a long time since they had been alone together, a whole year since he had left school and they had been able to have breakfast, and he was really looking so much more adult that she remembered.
"I guess I can only hope so." She was smiling too.
Severus and Narcissa's friendship
Beginnings of fear and desperation
On Sunday, Lucius left before Narcissa woke, and she and Severus spent their mornings puttering about individually. Severus took advantage of Lucius's absence to spread his parchment out all across his desk, and Narcissa retrieved an abandoned baby blanket, still on the needles, from deep in a dresser drawer.
The pair decided to walk to her parents' house, even though it was windy and gray. Narcissa always preferred to walk, and Severus, knowing this, wouldn't deny her. They didn't say much on their way, but maybe halfway there Narcissa began to notice him glancing over at her and turning away quickly several times over.
"Would you like to say something?" she asked, laughing at how he had reverted to his shy old self.
"Well, yes, but maybe I shouldn't."
"Oh, now you must."
They took maybe 20 more steps, his face growing more resolute with each one.
"Lucius told me that you're trying to have a baby, and I just wanted to tell you I hope it all works out, because I know how much you want it."
Narcissa felt heat flare on the back of her neck for a moment, and couldn't think of what to say.
"I'm sorry," Severus rushed to say, resolution visibly dying out. "I shouldn't have brought it up at all. It's personal. I apologize."
"No, it's all right," she decided. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They kept walking, reaching the edges of her parents' neighborhood.
"You two really talk about things like that?" she asked. Narcissa knew they were friends, but she didn't know it ran so deep, and that was what struck her as odd about the conversation more than anything else.
"Not often," Severus replied. "But lately it seemed like something was wrong, so I asked, and he told me. And I've just been thinking about it, because I want you two to be happy. You deserve it. Your child would be lucky."
With that last sentence, there was a hard edge on his voice; clearly he was making a comparison.
Lucius was teaching Narcissa Occlumency, each day pressing her to lay Draco down and sit with him while he pried at her. Narcissa struggled with it. He wished there was someone else to teach her, but he felt increasingly strange about trusting another Death Eater with the secret that she was learning.
"But why," she cried out one day when he was once again successful at entering her mind, "are we doing this? Who will be reading my mind?"
"Cissy, it's just security. I know you understand that. We'll stop for today."
They were sitting in chairs across from one another, and he reached out to take her hand. It felt stiff.
"This is bothering me, Lucius," she said, and left him there.
Severus did come to the Manor for Christmas, but everything felt wrong. Narcissa didn't recognize the hardened man at the table with them. Severus had successfully grown as she and Lucius had encouraged, and then he had taken it into his own hands and gone even farther. He said little but not in the same way as before. Once shy, he was now terse, and somehow she felt younger than him.
"Lucius is teaching me Occlumency," she told Severus in a moment of rebellion towards them both over lunch on Boxing Day, "but I'm horrible at it."
Lucius shot her a look as Severus scoffed.
"No one is better suited to be an Occlumens than you, Narcissa," he replied. "And Lucius is not suited to teach you. Your only problem is that you have never had a secret from one another in your lives. We will practice together when we finish eating, and you'll see."
Severus was right. Although the force with which he attempted to read her was immense, it was easy, natural even, to keep him out.
"I thought we were close, Sev," she gasped out. "Why does it feel like you're a stranger when you do that?"
"That's normal, Narcissa. A good Occlumens trusts no one. That is why Lucius couldn't teach you. As cunning as he seems, he can be led."
Lucius released from Azkaban (the first time)
If he was released, Lucius would come straight there through the Floo. So all Narcissa did that day was wear out the carpet in the sitting room, and when she was done pacing, sit on the couch to rock frantically back and forth. For the first time since October, Draco was not with her or even close by; Druella had him upstairs and Narcissa had not heard so much as a hiccup between them.
She examined herself in the mirror above the fireplace. It was worse than when Lucius came home to find her pregnant; at least then there had been a reward, a happiness. Now she was looking old for the first time, she thought. At one time she had worried about ever losing the first weight she had ever gained, but now she would wish it back easily. To be plump with a new baby in your arms and your husband at your side was a thing entirely different from being a skeleton in a cardigan, hair stuck back with a quill.
There was no warning – he fell out of the fireplace before her, dirty, thin, tired, and was at her feet before she was able to stand up. Lucius buried his head in his wife's lap and cried as she clenched his shoulder to be sure it was real. Soon she slid off the sofa to kneel with him, and they embraced, undignified, at last toppling to lay down on the carpet. They bled into one another, adrift and yet moored for the first time in months.
"I am afraid to see Draco," he whispered when they were calm and simply breathing to match one another. "He will not recognize me. I am ashamed."
"Draco will know you," she replied. "He is an incredible child. He walks everywhere now. The pram has dust on it. Go shower, and I'll bring him to our room."
"A minute more," he breathed.
The diary
Lucius hated that book.
He had a trunk full of things locked away that Narcissa didn't know he had, and now Arthur Weasley, true to his name, was trying to weasel his way in their house with a warrant to find exactly what Lucius swore wasn't there. Mostly the things were trivial, or at least not so illegal that he could really be in any trouble over them. Potion ingredients that had been outlawed only recently, and some cursed family heirlooms that could go to no safer home than a locked case in the Manor. But that damn diary! The Dark Lord had never been a lover of things, and yet he told Lucius so clearly that that musty book needed to be kept safely with everything else that prying eyes should never see. And Lucius, for all his casual attitude in front of his wife, did not feel confident enough to dispose of something his master might one day come looking for. In a way, it was Lucius's most prized possession, and he didn't even know what it was, except to understand that he should not have it.
And worse than all that was the damned stinging on his left arm the entire time Draco was away at school. It didn't feel like it ever had before; it was more like his arm was asleep, except it stayed contained entirely to the margins of the Mark. He was frustrated and confused and by the time summer arrived and Draco was home, he was ungodly hot. The summer raged the way it had when Narcissa was pregnant, and finally by the end of it Lucius could no longer reason his way through anything that was troubling him, and instead swept all the artifacts into a box and thrust it into his son's arms, and led him down Knockturn Alley.
Draco's Mark
"I don't…" He was stuttering. "Mummy…"
Narcissa wanted to burn the Manor down with everyone inside. This brutal building that she had promised Lucius to never leave, that she had spent her childhood dreaming of as a home – it meant nothing to her now as she saw her son imprisoned in its walls. Their husband and father had failed them; her son, her shy, talented son, was crying to her because he was afraid of something from which they could not protect him.
"I know, Draco," she managed to say. "It's not a nice thing. But you'll be like your father. Isn't that a good thought? He will be so pleased when you see him again."
"I don't care about…that," he replied. She heard him bite off the word him. "I don't want to be in this position. I don't want to feel like you aren't safe because of me –"
"I am protecting you, Draco," Narcissa rushed to say. "Don't think of it like that. Of course I will always be the one to protect you. It’s just the Mark.”
Of course it wasn’t just the Mark. It was him as a replacement for a disgraced father. A human sacrifice. They went in to see the Dark Lord and that was unfolded to them both, and she felt her body weaken and her feet turn numb. She reached out for Draco’s hand and it wasn’t there. He was holding his arms tight in front of him and curling in as if his stomach hurt.
“None of that now, Draco,” he was chided. “Narcissa, why don’t you help him with his sleeve?”
There was blood in her mouth. She had bitten herself that fiercely. She tried, as she reached out again and made contact, to still Draco. To show him some comfort through her touch. She heard him choke, though, and then she couldn’t resist wrapping an arm around his shoulder as his bare skin was presented to their master.
Severus
"Yes, Cissy, I was with him, briefly. I was actually…" There he squeezed his eyes shut tight, and took a deep breath and held it. "I was with the Dark Lord, and he told me to fetch Severus. He didn't tell me why, but now I know…and it was me…"
Narcissa took his hand and squeezed, and leaned closer to him. "You know he was going to do what he had decided to do either way."
"I know. But I should have thought twice that he even asked it of me, when it would be so easy to just summon him. It did take me a while, limping around in the dark and with everything in disarray."
"Tell me what he said. Please."
"We just spoke as we always have. He told me I shouldn't be out in my condition, and I asked him if he thought I had a choice. I asked him about Draco and he told me that he knew McGonagall would still do her best to protect all of the students. He asked where you were –" At this, Narcissa had to press her face down into the bed beside him, "and I told him what I had asked you to do. He rolled his eyes and asked me if I really believed you would listen to me. And we clasped hands as we always did, and he went away."
They stayed like that, in the hazy, white silence, holding on to one another, for a long time as Narcissa cried. She thought of how close she had come to dying while giving birth to Draco, of Severus as a boy flinching away from her cousin in the Great Hall, the meals she had eaten with him alone in the townhouse. His brief, cryptic confession to her and her alone that he was not exactly who he seemed. The night at Spinner's End…
"I knew," Narcissa said into the mattress. "Not everything – not even close to everything. But he told me once that Dumbledore was right to trust in him and get him out of Azkaban. And it made me cold to him for a long time. I was mad at him because you weren't free. I was angry that he would come back to our home and keep deceiving you, and I only let it go because I needed him, I needed the help he gave me…look at everything he did, every person he saved while he was so unhappy…and I thought less of him…"
It took time for her to quiet again, with Lucius gently tracing his thumb back and forth across her forehead.
"But you knew," she finally asked. "When I saw you again in the forest, you knew he was dead."
"Yes. He couldn't leave it alone. He had to show me, and Bellatrix, and a few others. He called us and made us look at what could become of his servants. If he could do it to Severus, surely anyone…and it was sickening. I will never unsee it. I was going to tell you…" he paused and stared away from her with his brow knit, as if on the brink of something dangerous. "If something had happened to Draco, I was going to tell you that we had to give up. We were never going to get the life we were promised. I was wrong about it, all this time. We would have been his playthings forever." Now it was his turn to choke back tears. "And I dragged you into it, both of you. Draco will have that awful Mark forever. And I encouraged Severus, when he was so eager to find a family, and I had everything. He would have done anything I asked of him, and I let him…"
"Let's stop now," Narcissa soothed him, although her voice was still bloated too, and her nose was running, "you have to get well, and this day has already been so long. Let's see if I can find Draco, and then maybe we can eat again. Let's try to be calm for him."
Andromeda
"I heard that Lucius was hurt." This was not an expression of sympathy, beyond opening the door for Narcissa to share.
"He should have died. I thought Draco and I had just watched him die. It's aged him greatly."
"I feel like I'm 75."
"Me too."
Andromeda got up to heat more water, leaving Narcissa to stare at a man's cloak still hanging on a hook by the back door. For the Malfoys, the end of the War seemed like the end of everything, of their purpose and reputation. Andromeda was left to start over entirely with a baby, all alone.
"I want to give you money, Andy," Narcissa said when the teapot was refilled. There was no reason to try to temper the words or wait to ask; the two were not likely to start spending cozy afternoons together with regularity. There was no relationship to protect from awkwardness. "I know it's forward, and maybe you have savings, maybe there are things I don't know about. But I know you'll never get it from Mother and Father, and I know Remus and Nymphadora were working for love of a cause, not to make money. Let us do something."
"I have a pension from Ted, and there's a Victim's Fund for both of us. Harry wants to take care of Teddy."
"Harry will have his own family someday, and I hope you are going to live a long life. All I want is to give what should have been your inheritance. It's ridiculous of them to leave it all to me when I'm already – when Lucius and I are so lucky."
"I've been reading about his sentencing in the paper. Don't you think you're going to need it?"
"No. You were engaged to him once, Andy. You saw how it is."
"Merlin. Don't remind me of that. What are you going to do if I say no?"
Draco
They did get to the study eventually, and Lucius sat next to his son on the battered leather sofa there, conjuring a glass of water before anything else.
"Is she that sick, Draco? Do we need to do something tonight?"
Draco shook his head. He was hunched over his knees, one hand shielding his face from his father.
"I just didn't…I never wanted it to be like this. I know it's childish to say that, but life wasn't supposed to be…"
"It is not childish, Draco, to not want your wife to die."
He started to nod, but his sobs redoubled and he bent fully forward, clutching at himself. All Lucius could do, having never been the parent responsible for this sort of comforting, was place a hand on his back and wait.
I really want to post new Mourning Dove soon. I reread the chapter I have in progress last night and there's more in it than I remember and I want to get it out there!!
I really want to post new Mourning Dove soon. I reread the chapter I have in progress last night and there's more in it than I remember and I want to get it out there!!
you like breeding fic that's about male humanoid monsters saying vague breeding-ish things to each other during sex. I like breeding fic that's about a man obsessed with getting a woman pregnant. we are not the same
do you ever see an old guy when you're out and about and he's like fine but you know. just a regular old guy. and you're like well that's pretty much who I'm writing all this fuck machine erotica about
