Life Is Like A Piñata @xpouii - Tumblr Blog

Posts

thatonekimgirl

Heated Rivalry || the full 'first time' sex scene without music

thatonekimgirl

Heated Rivalry || the tuna melt sex scene without music

tumblerislovetumblerislife

an ao3 author is never late, nor are they early; they post precisely when they mean to

galecstatic

artwork name: The Pearl Necklace by Ilya Rozanov

canvas: Shane Hollander

jesterlesbian

In the final moment, Williams turns to Storrie and does a version of Ilya's "attack-y" face, as Tierney describes it. He left that sweet exchange in to show how Shane is capable of breaking his guarded facade. "I think Shane does have a playful side that is stifled... Under every scene in season 1, there's not much room for super goofy play," Williams says. "There's a tentative nature to episode 6. Although it's calm, it's still like, 'Can this work, when we're left alone to our own devices?'"

"It does feel like a puppy learning to play," Tierney adds.

jellymellydraws

AO3 Comments are SO SO SOOOOOOO important because you can only leave Kudos ONCE. You add to the hit count ONCE (every 24 hours).

So whenever someone updates their fic, the ONLY way an author knows who their regular readers are is if they comment on each chapter. And we WANT to know who's still reading.

Believe it or not, some of us think about the name that pops up constantly in the comments and go "omg I can't wait to see what they think of THIS SPECIFIC SCENE cuz I KNOW they'll say something about it!!!"

scaredycatshane

Imagine, if you will, that you're Shane Hollander. The year is 2016 and you know that you are Down Bad for Ilya Rozanov. There is no escape. You also know you're just another name on his roster. You are suffering in silence, because that is what you do best.

Then, out of nowhere, he invites you to his actual house for the first time in 7 years of whatever the hell you two have going. He makes sure you come over early for the first time. He says it's because you flew in the day before the game. He gives you a tour and fucks you slow and sweet and sappy. He convinces you to stay the night, which you have never done before. This pattern of quick meaningless fucking is broken. He is being way too nice, and something about this gives you hope. Hope that he cares.

You take a little cat nap together in the sun. You wake up and he cooks for you, which he has never ever done. It's starting to sink in. This is a date. He cares about you. He wants you in his life. This is real and requited and you might even be able to have him for more than a couple hours in a hotel room 3 times a year.

Then he looks you in the face and says "Do you like girls?" Hold up, what the fuck?

When you deflect any further questions, he takes the opportunity to begin telling you how much he loves fucking other women, especially one he's known way longer than you.

So you jumped the gun. He doesn't feel the same, clearly. You're another name on a list, which you already knew. You let some dumb hope get the better of you and that's fine. Remember your place, this is all you can get. Take it gracefully.

Then this motherfucker moans your first name (again with the fucking firsts today), and all you can think is how amazing that fucking sounded and how you want to do it right back. You do, and fuck that felt perfect rolling off your tongue. You want to do it over and over and over again.

And then it all comes crashing down. You are another name on his list. He is your everything. You can't fucking do this. It's going to fucking kill you. You have to fucking leave. So you do.

The Tuna Melt Disaster wasn't a Classic Shane Hollander Freak Out. It was Ilya Rozanov's Fumble of the Century.

galecstatic

BRING THE SPIT BACK FOR SEASON 2

burnoutboyf

heated rivalry blinkies !!!

sorry the text on shane's is squished his name was too long to fit otherwise 💔

please credit if using!

deadcrow-donteat

imagine ilya, in his hotel room after The Hit, scrolling through social media for anything, anything, about shane's condition. and he happens to see a post from some hollanov account that's like "ok but did you guys see the look on rozanov's face? that's not how you look at a rival." and someone else comments something like "i've seen wags with that look when their man goes down. there's no way they hate each other." and for a moment he feels less alone, because these people get it. and maybe he lets himself wonder about someday being public in their relationship, but then he sees someone else commenting about how these people are delusional and there's no place in hockey for that gay shit, he realizes that they can't, and doubles down on his plan to break up with shane.

mrkestis

totearup

Something odd is going on at their house Ilya realizes, after about two months of living together.

One Monday he'd noticed the sink in one of the guest bedrooms was dripping a little. He'd texted his plumber, who'd been able to come by the next day, only to find nothing was dripping. Ilya has figured maybe it hadn't been dripping, the faucet maybe wasn't fully off or something?

Another week he'd taken out the trash and noticed the light above the cans was out. He'd texted the electrician guy he had on call. He wouldn't usually be able to come out for a couple days. But the next day when Ilya was bringing a box out to recycle he'd found the light back on. He'd canceled the electrician, wondering if he'd just hit the lights switch funny?

And then the final odd thing happens. He's putting some stuff away in one of the guest room closets and he tugs the door too hard the wrong way and it pops off it's tracks and hits the floor. He curses as he catches it, and props it back up, leaning it into place. He texts a picture of it to his handyman. The photo is partially to explain the problem, but mostly to assure himself it really happened if the door manages to also magically heal itself.

The next day he gets a question about the door from the handyman so he goes to check it out, and walks in on Shane, with a little tool box on the floor next to him, lifting the door back into place with ease.

Ilya, shocked, "You're the one fixing everything!"

Shane, did not know this was a mystery, "Yes, of course. What did you think it was, magic?"

Shane, after hearing the story, "Wait, you call an electrician every time a light bulb goes out?!"

shanyshko

inspired by this post about ilya's car circa 2014 here's shane's car circa 2019:

3 blueberry yogurt flavor quest protein bars

a lint brush for pre game suit touch ups

collapsible snow shovel

one of those fancy spray hand sanitizers

blistex medicated chapstick

half an empty blue gatorade that ilya says he'll drink next time and won't let him throw away

microfiber towel to keep the dust off his dash

lube and condoms in glovebox under false bottom

water only wet wipes because he has sensitive skin

evil eye repellent bracelet hanging from the mirror (from rose)

four pairs of lululemon shorts under the passengers side seat he keeps losing when he has car sex. his hands are too big to retrieve them.

inside a storage bin in his trunk: jumper cables, a jack, manual tire pressure gage, collapsible air pump, roadside flares, mini roadside cones, blocks (ilya thinks this is stupid until they get a flat on the way to the cottage and shane fixes it in 20 minutes. the other 20 minutes they're stopped shane loses another pair of lululemon shorts.)

no bumper stickers but a custom license plate frame that says whatever the montreal equivalent to "keep tahoe blue" is

a zip up booklet of hockey biography audiobook cds

shillanov

u know what i fucking love. is that it's so clear that many of us have important full time jobs. yet you can see us here on tumblr throughout the work day posting about the most unhinged shit possible. like we're really out here going to a meeting then coming back to tumblr like "shane drippy big dick bouncing on that thang" before running back to another meeting like Hi Linda yes I talked to the team earlier and we're ready to send the documents over. How was your weekend

writingdose

I am once again begging people to realize that AI checker doesn’t work. it’s never worked. it’s notoriously known to have flagged human-made works as AI and AI-generated works as human-made. and by feeding it people’s works, you are feeding more works to AI, because apparently the machine itself is AI.

the only thing AI checker does is harm genuine artists and people in general too.