Shanxiety Hollander

He/him. 20s. Femme Ilya Rozanov Truther. Follows from @titlessfreak

[serenthelioness]

Chil' Anyways...

The sane part of the HR fandom when a new "scandal" is dropped every 10 business days...

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[aslongasitsblack]

shane getting cuteness aggression for ilya and ilyas all like No Hollander ….I am hot. Alpha Male. secretly elated while shane is squishing his cheeks between his hands

[emmikay]

Rose Landry: The only person who still thinks about that cringy thing you did 10 months ago is you.

Shane Hollander: No, Ilya reminds me every now and then.

[halles-comet]

Happy Pride I just saw a girl in a Shane Hollander jersey throw up on her own shoes

[clytemnestraaa]

ok so to me the thing about jj is like yay he's so smiley and friendly! well yeah, he's gotta be as a black man playing a really white sport. everybody loves jj! jj makes damn sure everybody loves jj. jj is the life of the party. and so to jj like... well, maybe shane gets it, right? sure shane doesn't GET it get it but he maybe gets like, something. maybe shane feels the pressure to perform and maybe shane knows what it's like to have everything you're ever doing be proving or disproving something.

and like i get the sense that jj might be who everybody calls when they want to party, but shane is the one jj calls when he wants to have a slightly more chill moment without having to be Mr Super Fun JJ. basically i can imagine them just playing xbox in silence. that's his bro. jj might be friends with everyone, but jj trusts shane.

and then who turns out to be the keeper of shane's secrets? who does shane trust?

[currysideplate]

Just making use of my free will

Inspo🖼:The Meeting on the Turret Stairs

[probablily]

he looks like some kind of cat

[probablily]

so called free thinkers...

[lem0nademouth]

maybe it’s just me but if my best friend’s partner insulted me constantly including in front of my spouse and my children i would be on Team Dump His Ass

[butdarlingthestarrs]

Connor Storrie | Cultured Magazine | 2025

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

can your fandom be summoned with one sentence?

yes

no

idk

results

Voting ended onJun 7

ex- waiting for something to happen?

[meepmonstare]

scar put your clothes back on

[callofwinter]

two thousand seven hundred and ninety nine

[sages-dick-joke-mutual]

Apo pie! Apo pie!

[romanticizing-life11111]

bite me

[angels-haven-official]

Hello Jon, apologies for the deception.

[millymissing]

WONDERHOY! :D

[scaredycatshane]

I'm coming to the cottage.

[smokingrozanov]

Svetlana serving cunt at her best friend’s dad’s funeral is so funny

[scaredycatshane]

She's been praying for this day for years. That outfit was in a dress bag at the back of her closet just waiting for its time to shine.

[russianblush]

#ilya baby get behind me

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya in the other books is going, “I see that you’re gay. I see that you like this person. I see that you are miserable. You should do something about that.” and he stands there and waits for someone else to say that they notice him too and nobody ever does.

[scaredycatshane]

troy does!! troy does. and ilya runs as fast as he can.

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.