Based on a story idea by Justbabyme.
Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was such an awkward topic for him to discuss, but it was the whole reason he was in Dr Jansenâs office, so there was no avoiding it. Â
âHave you always had these feelings about using the toilet?â the therapist asked. Â
Matt didnât make eye-contact with her. He couldnât bring himself to face her as he answered such embarrassing questions. Â
âI guess so. I mean, I wasnât always quite this shy. But I couldnât⊠use a urinal, even when I was a kid. I got stage fright, yâknow?âÂ
The therapist nodded kindly, taking down more notes. He hated when she wrote notes that he couldnât see. Â
âYou couldnât pee in front of others,â she said, watching for his reaction. Â
Matt frowned at the word âpeeâ just as she had expected. Â
âNo, I never could,â he confirmed. Â
âBut now itâs worse,â she went on.Â
âYeah, well I have flatmates now and I⊠I canât even⊠use the toilet, when theyâre home and awake. I have to wait until theyâre out, or asleep. If they hear me using it⊠I⊠I just canât have that.â Â
Matt quickly shook his head. âI have to go home to⊠do number two. I can do the other thing in a public restroom. But, itâs not easy. There canât be anyone in the touching stalls. Sometimes I canât go unless the whole toilet is empty. My bladder just wonât let go, no matter how hard I try.â Â
The therapist gave that unreadable neutral smile once again, jotting more notes. Â
âDonât you find that outfit a bit hot in this weather?â she suddenly asked.Â
Matt was confused. Why the change of topic? He wasnât here for fashion advice. Â
âItâs fine,â he said with a shrug.Â
But she didnât take the hint to move back to the topic at hand. Â
âLong sleeves, jeans, surely you get hot and sweaty in this mid-summer weather?â she asked.Â
âPeople wear suits in the middle of summer, why should I be hot in this?â he retorted. Â
âTrue. Do you wear shorts and t-shirts sometimes then. At the beach at least?â Â
Matt saw where she was going with this now. Â
âNo, I donât like the beach. And I donât like shorts either.â Â
âYou like being covered up. You donât like to be exposed in any way, do you Matt?â she posited.Â
He could only nod. It was true. Â
âYouâre a very closed in person in general Matt. Youâre closed off from relationships, from developing new friendships. And I think all these behaviours, especially your difficulty with the toilet points to a traumatic potty training experience.âÂ
Matt rolled his eyes. He didnât need any of this freudian crap. He came to a therapist, not a psychoanalyst for just that reason. Â
âI can see youâre sceptical.â Â
âYou could say that.â Â
âTell me that Iâm wrong then. I know you likely donât actually recall your own potty training, but you know your parents. Would they have been kind, patient, supportive?â Â
Matt hesitated. Of course he wanted to prove her wrong, but his parents were cold, demanding, very strict. His mum in particular had been a neat freak. No, she would not have been forgiving about the messes a potty training boy would likely make. Â
After a long moment of silence the therapist simply nodded knowingly. Â
âSo what do we do about it then?â Matt asked. Â
âWell, I do actually have a therapy that is extremely effective for potty training issues. Itâs a radical one though, and I know it may not appeal to you. So first I want you to think about why you came to me, think about how these troubles are impacting your life right now,â she directed.Â
Matt thought about it and knew she was right. His current situation couldnât continue. It was impacting every part of his life on a daily basis. Â
âOkay, whatâs the therapy? How radical is it?â he asked.Â
âI want to re-do your potty training,â she answered. Â
Matt snorted. She had to be joking. Except she looked dead serious. Â
âI donât think thatâs possible,â he told her. Â
âI assure you it is. Iâve used this therapy successfully in the past for a few patients. All were perfectly happy at the end of the treatment, no complaints at all.â Â
âI know how to use a toilet though.â Â
âYou clearly donât know the right way to use one. We need to retrain your body and mind. And to do that, we have to start from scratch.â Â
âYou know Iâm a licenced hypnotist. I can give you a session to take away your current toilet training. Then we potty train you again, the right way.â Â
âSo youâd have me wearing diapers?!â Â
âPull-ups really. The idea is you quickly learn to use the toilet the right way.â Â
âIâm not letting my flatmates see me walking around in fucking diapers, or pull-ups, or whatever you want to call them!â Matt snapped, getting frustrated now. Â
âNo, no, of course not,â she assured him. âYou would spend the therapy session with two of my colleagues. Theyâd be your surrogate parents, giving you the kind of loving, patient, kind potty training you should have had the first time, helping you lose all these phobias and hang-ups.â Â
Matt calmed down a little bit. But he still had a lot of uncertainty. Â
âHow long are we talking?â Â
âWell there isnât a set timetable for potty training, but probably a week or two. Youâve told me youâre on summer holiday anyway, so this would be a great time to get it done.â Â
Weeks of potty training, like a little toddler. It sounded awful, but the alternative seemed equally terrible. The chance to be normal, forever, was alluring as well. Â
âWho are these colleagues of yours?âÂ
Dr Jansen smiled. âThey specialise in therapies of this kind. Theyâre a couple and you would basically go and live with them while you have the therapy. They have a lot of experience and I have complete faith in them.â Â
âHow much does this all cost though?â Â
âItâs all covered by public funding. They have a special fund for alternative therapies now,â she explained. Â
Damn, that really didnât leave him with any practical reasons to refuse the therapy. It was only his own disgust at the very idea of it. Letting her take away his toilet training was terrifying. What if he couldnât be re-taught? What if he was stuck in diapers? And then there was the idea of being so vulnerable like that in front of these strangers. It all freaked him out. But heâd waited 3 months for this appointment, and if he refused her therapy, heâd be waiting even longer for another doctor to treat him. Shit, he had to do it. Â