[xx-tecspfk-xx]

!!Pinned blog intro!!

[ooc note: if you don't want your post to be reblogged by my oc blog, just kindly tell me so and I will remove the rb]

Main blog: @mannequinhandsinyerma

Blog mainly ran by Aoife (me), but Jason (my boyfriend) and Kenji (his friend) are here too.

We're here to keep an eye on our younger siblings.

My younger brother Declan and Jason's younger sister Angel are on @thecoolersouthparkforeignkids

Kenji's younger sister Mai is on @maiyuya

We will also be talking about our interests and reblogging stuff about our interests too

Picrews of Aoife, Jason, and Kenji (Picrews cred {for the pfp also}: Katzekrew)

moodboards vv

[TAGS] - kinda self explanatory for most of them (there is a lot of them sorry lmao)

#aoiferp

#aoiferb

#aoifepost

#jasonrp

#jasonrb

#jasonpost

#kenjirp

#kenjirb

#kenjipost

(Aoife and Jason couple tags vv)

#jaofierp

#jaoiferb

#jaoifepost

(Jason and Kenji bff tags vv)

#jmkyrp

#jmkyrb

#jmkypost

(Aoife and Kenji tags vv)

#bfsbfrp

#bfsbfrb

#bfsbfpost

(all three tags vv)

#thirdwheelrp

#thirdwheelrb

#thirdwheelpost

[thememedaddy]

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You do that, I'll clean up down here..."

*Reluctantly letting Declan go, giving him the softest and most sympathetic look physically possible.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Picking Declan up and carrying him up the stairs*

"No, don't start falling asleep again."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay, just... I'll get you to the bathroom and then I'll grab you a change of clothes, okay?"

"Mm'okay."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Confused staring at the wet couch.*

"...how the feck do I clean this?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Returning downstairs a few minutes later without Declan, carrying the now much wetter pants towards the basement to go shove them in the washing machine*

"He forgot a step when going to the toilet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The poor sod... how do I clean this? I don't usually, y'know, clean shit."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Uhh... I dunno, I get Tes to clean things for me. It's enrichment for her... and I just don't know how... Uh, just put a towel on it?"

*Chucking the clothes into the basement*

"I've been banned from going near washing machines."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Bloody hell... AOIFE! Doirt Jo a deoch ar an tolg! Quick, you go grab a glass from the kitchen, act like you spilled somethin'. Don't need her goin' off on him again. Or on me for letting him fall asleep."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Ooh, smart."

*He ran into the kitchen and returned with a glass of milk and poured it on top of the small wet patch*

"In case she could smell the piss."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Angry stomping down the stairs*

"Jo can you take a day off being a total retard?"

*Muttering angrily to herself as she cleaned it up*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oh, feck off, he tripped over his own feet. Like you 'aven't done it before, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"He knows I don't mean it, don't you Jo?"

*Nodding from the boy*

"Dumb, where's dumber?"

"Bathroom I think."

"Alright... He sleep okay?"

"Uhh... I guess?"

"You're both shit liars."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Well, excuse me for trying to cover for me best friend who's already had enough shite for one day and already feels bad enough without you going off on him! Feckin' créatúr cruálach."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Calm it. I'm not gonna shout at him. He's my baby brother. I only shout at him when he deserves it, like when he goes in my fecking room and touches my shit with his grubby little fingers... Cac beag... Have you chucked his clothes downstairs?"

"Yeah."

"Maith thú."

*Taking the couch cushion cover off and taking it down into the basement to wash it*

[ace-of-spuds]

"And for the record, Jo, I don't even like Dec like that, you stupid fecker. I'm pretty sure we're some, like, distant partial cousins anyways. I don't like men."

*Two half truths and a lie.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Could've fooled me... I mean, uh, okay."

*He came back downstairs and picked his blanket up from the side of the couch, holding it up to his face and just staring blankly into space*

"You okay?"

"Mmh... Ba mhaith liom mo mhamaí..."

"Awh... She'll probably visit again soon."

"Mmh."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Just trying to figure out what the hell to do to comfort the poor little bastard without getting accused of being gay again.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Where's Aoife?"

"She's just doing the washing machine, she'll be back in a sec."

*Walking over and leaning all over Jo*

"Want strawb'ry milk."

"Do you have any of your tablets left?"

"No."

"Awh."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Tossing a box of lactose pills to him.*

"Stole them from a drug store. Was gonna pawn 'em off, but... never found time."

*Totally just stole them to give them to Declan.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Box hits him on the head, bends over to pick them up*

"Go raibh maith agat." *Turning back to Jo * "Strawb'ry milk."

"Alright... I'll do one better, I'll order a strawberry milkshake for you from Raisins. Want anything to eat too?"

"Chips."

"Okay. Do you want anything?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Nah, I'm good."

*Stomach very loudly growling.*

"...I'll take a double bacon cheeseburger."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Alright... Now to order something really stupid and piss Tes off... Hmm... A single sliced pickle, that'll annoy her."

*Giggling like an idiot to himself*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...you gonna eat the pickle, or...?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Yeah, I like pickles... Or, wait, I should order 67 slices."

*Giggling like a maniac*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...I also like pickles but yeah, okay..."

*Does not get the 67 joke.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Still giggling to himself*

"Alright, usually takes like twenty minutes, Tes is a little speed demon on her bike. Well, my bike I so generously let her borrow for work."

"I'd be faster."

*Cannot ride a bike*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You fell over on a motionless scooter."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"...It was broken."

"I let you have a go on my skateboard and you wouldn't let go of my hand."

"I didn't wanna fall off."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You got scared when I pushed you down a two foot tall slide."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Nuh uh."

"Babe I'm not even allowed to say the name An-"

"NOOOO!"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Annabelle! Annabelle! Annabelle! Annabelle! Annabelle!"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Covering his ears with his hands*

"STOP IT! A Dhia, sábháil mé ón rud bábóige deamhain."

"Hehe... You're so cute when you're scared."

"I'm not scared!"

*Very clearly scared*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Laughing his ass off, slowly walking over and hugging him.*

"Tá brón orm, ní raibh sé i gceist agam eagla a chur ort chomh dona. Socair síos."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"...triantán Beirmiúda... an ghealach... uh... bád."

*Very pleased with his very good comebacks*

*Mildly jealous he has no idea what's going on*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Lightly shoving him and laughing harder before hugging him again.*

"Dún an ifreann! Twat..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Scared of the feckin' moon for? What's it gonna do?"

*Giggling after he pulled away and went to get a glass of water to take a lactaid tablet with*

"You're scared of the moon?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Was when I was six. Thought it looked weird. Never heard the end of it from him."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Ohh... But, like, why though?"

*Genuinely curious*

"Ooh, super scary moon, ooh it's gonna getcha."

"Didn't you get scared by a peice of fluff yesterday?"

"I thought it was a spider, shut up... poke your feckin' belly button."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was watchin' me da play feckin' Majora's Mask, the game with the moon that tries to kill you at the end."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Coming out of the basement and heading back up the stairs to her room*

"You're all a gang of pussies."

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

"Bitch."

"Keep talking and I'll just tell your little friends all've your secrets."

"...sorry."

"... I'm telling them anyway, it's too funny. He's scared of the tellytubbies."

"AOIFE!"

*Laughing maniacally as she returned to her room, leaving Declan standing there, his face bright red*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You do that, I'll clean up down here..."

*Reluctantly letting Declan go, giving him the softest and most sympathetic look physically possible.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Picking Declan up and carrying him up the stairs*

"No, don't start falling asleep again."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay, just... I'll get you to the bathroom and then I'll grab you a change of clothes, okay?"

"Mm'okay."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Confused staring at the wet couch.*

"...how the feck do I clean this?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Returning downstairs a few minutes later without Declan, carrying the now much wetter pants towards the basement to go shove them in the washing machine*

"He forgot a step when going to the toilet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The poor sod... how do I clean this? I don't usually, y'know, clean shit."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Uhh... I dunno, I get Tes to clean things for me. It's enrichment for her... and I just don't know how... Uh, just put a towel on it?"

*Chucking the clothes into the basement*

"I've been banned from going near washing machines."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Bloody hell... AOIFE! Doirt Jo a deoch ar an tolg! Quick, you go grab a glass from the kitchen, act like you spilled somethin'. Don't need her goin' off on him again. Or on me for letting him fall asleep."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Ooh, smart."

*He ran into the kitchen and returned with a glass of milk and poured it on top of the small wet patch*

"In case she could smell the piss."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Angry stomping down the stairs*

"Jo can you take a day off being a total retard?"

*Muttering angrily to herself as she cleaned it up*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oh, feck off, he tripped over his own feet. Like you 'aven't done it before, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"He knows I don't mean it, don't you Jo?"

*Nodding from the boy*

"Dumb, where's dumber?"

"Bathroom I think."

"Alright... He sleep okay?"

"Uhh... I guess?"

"You're both shit liars."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Well, excuse me for trying to cover for me best friend who's already had enough shite for one day and already feels bad enough without you going off on him! Feckin' créatúr cruálach."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Calm it. I'm not gonna shout at him. He's my baby brother. I only shout at him when he deserves it, like when he goes in my fecking room and touches my shit with his grubby little fingers... Cac beag... Have you chucked his clothes downstairs?"

"Yeah."

"Maith thú."

*Taking the couch cushion cover off and taking it down into the basement to wash it*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You do that, I'll clean up down here..."

*Reluctantly letting Declan go, giving him the softest and most sympathetic look physically possible.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Picking Declan up and carrying him up the stairs*

"No, don't start falling asleep again."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay, just... I'll get you to the bathroom and then I'll grab you a change of clothes, okay?"

"Mm'okay."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Confused staring at the wet couch.*

"...how the feck do I clean this?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Returning downstairs a few minutes later without Declan, carrying the now much wetter pants towards the basement to go shove them in the washing machine*

"He forgot a step when going to the toilet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The poor sod... how do I clean this? I don't usually, y'know, clean shit."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Uhh... I dunno, I get Tes to clean things for me. It's enrichment for her... and I just don't know how... Uh, just put a towel on it?"

*Chucking the clothes into the basement*

"I've been banned from going near washing machines."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Bloody hell... AOIFE! Doirt Jo a deoch ar an tolg! Quick, you go grab a glass from the kitchen, act like you spilled somethin'. Don't need her goin' off on him again. Or on me for letting him fall asleep."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Ooh, smart."

*He ran into the kitchen and returned with a glass of milk and poured it on top of the small wet patch*

"In case she could smell the piss."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Angry stomping down the stairs*

"Jo can you take a day off being a total retard?"

*Muttering angrily to herself as she cleaned it up*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oh, feck off, he tripped over his own feet. Like you 'aven't done it before, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"He knows I don't mean it, don't you Jo?"

*Nodding from the boy*

"Dumb, where's dumber?"

"Bathroom I think."

"Alright... He sleep okay?"

"Uhh... I guess?"

"You're both shit liars."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You do that, I'll clean up down here..."

*Reluctantly letting Declan go, giving him the softest and most sympathetic look physically possible.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Picking Declan up and carrying him up the stairs*

"No, don't start falling asleep again."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay, just... I'll get you to the bathroom and then I'll grab you a change of clothes, okay?"

"Mm'okay."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Confused staring at the wet couch.*

"...how the feck do I clean this?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Returning downstairs a few minutes later without Declan, carrying the now much wetter pants towards the basement to go shove them in the washing machine*

"He forgot a step when going to the toilet."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The poor sod... how do I clean this? I don't usually, y'know, clean shit."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Uhh... I dunno, I get Tes to clean things for me. It's enrichment for her... and I just don't know how... Uh, just put a towel on it?"

*Chucking the clothes into the basement*

"I've been banned from going near washing machines."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Bloody hell... AOIFE! Doirt Jo a deoch ar an tolg! Quick, you go grab a glass from the kitchen, act like you spilled somethin'. Don't need her goin' off on him again. Or on me for letting him fall asleep."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Ooh, smart."

*He ran into the kitchen and returned with a glass of milk and poured it on top of the small wet patch*

"In case she could smell the piss."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Angry stomping down the stairs*

"Jo can you take a day off being a total retard?"

*Muttering angrily to herself as she cleaned it up*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Like what?"

*Dumbass*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...don't worry about it, Decky."

*Continuing to rub the spot he slapped.*

"S'it still hurt?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head*

"Not really. I've had worse hits to the face now. Like when Nick knocked my tooth out... It's growing back now though, look."

*Smiling to show that his front tooth has indeed mostly grown back*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Good, you looked really stupid missing the damn thing."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Did I? I showed Mammy when she came to visit and she said I looked cute... I s'pose Mammy's always say that though."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You looked like an absolute bloody weapon."

"You did, you looked so cute."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Well... I lost it because I got in a fight, so, like, that means I'm cool, right?"

*Spades doesn't need to know that this 'fight' was just Declan getting absolutely decked in the face for once again running his mouth*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Depends. Did you win?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"...Yeah."

*Glancing to the side because he is very obvious when lying*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You can admit you're lying now or you can say it in the booth when we get to the church."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... Okay... But this other time I punched him in the face and he didn't hit me back so, like, that's technically winning."

*Conveniently leaving out the reason that Nick didn't punch him back is because he felt bad for scaring the shit out of him and making him cry*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're fucking adorable."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now are you done standing there looking stupid or are we just never gonna get to the damn church before the sun comes up tomorrow morning?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"I don't look stupid... Yeah, we can keep walking now."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He followed Declan in silence until they reached the church, stepping forward and holding the door open for him.*

"Ladies first, Pull-Ups."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*His face slowly turned red, but he kept his mouth shut and hands to himself because the one place he wouldn't ever dare to get in a fight or an argument in was a church.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Ha. You look like a right git, all red like that. Like you got a really bad sunburn. Then again, it's American winter. Your pale ass might've gotten it from the snow's reflection."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You're literally paler than me... And I'm not red, I don't know what you're going on about."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah, but I'm half-black, so feck off."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Don't look it... You sure your mam wasn't... You know?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You remember what happened last time you talked shite about me mam?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'sorry."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You better be. So, who's gonna get in the booth first?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Only just now remembering he's terrified of small, dark enclosed spaces*

"Uh... You."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right."

*Ten straight minutes in the confession booth later, he walks out with tear stains on his face, saying nothing as he just straight-up leaves the church.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Following after him*

"...Are you okay?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah... f-fine..."

*Bro is not fine.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You can tell me if you're not. I'm not gonna tell anyone else. I won't even say anything stupid."

[ace-of-spuds]

"With your gob, folks'll hear about it all the way back to Cork."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head, miming zipping his mouth closed in an exaggerated manner*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He just stared at the ground, sitting down on the stairs to the church.*

"...sit down with me?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He nodded and sat down on the steps next to him, trying to ignore that they were wet from the rain earlier and he could feel it soaking into the seat of his pants*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He leaned into Declan's side, crying into his shoulder.*

"...I-I killed my mum, Dec..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, resting his chin on the top of Spades' head*

"I don't believe you. You wouldn't do that."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...th-the day you left, I-I got drunk, broke some stuff, burned somethin', and fell asleep..."

*Leaving out the fact that that "something" was pictures of both of them together because he was angry that his crush disappeared.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Oh... Well, you didn't mean for any of that to happen, it was an accident, so your mammy will know it wasn't on purpose."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...I'm going to hell, Declan..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... I'll probably see you down there, then."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He sniffled, smiling the tiniest bit as he relaxed against Declan.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He was silent for a few moments, still hugging Spades*

"...You... Hmm... Do you want to shower at mine?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"...you're an asshole. Yeah, sure, let's go..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"What? An asshole would've just let you walk around being all smelly. I'm being nice."

*He stood up from the church steps, grimacing subtly at the fact sitting on wet concrete had made his pants all wet and cold*

[ace-of-spuds]

*The whole walk back to Declan's house, Spades was hanging off his side, letting out the faintest yawn right as they got to the door.*

"Sorry for making you get your pants wet..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"S'not the first time."

*Meaning he remembers all the summers back home when they would be playing with water guns and stuff, not all the times Spades had been somewhat responsible for Declan pissing himself.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...shit, I knew I forgot something in the booth."

*He said with a teasing edge, gently elbowing Declan in the ribs.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He just stuck his tongue out at him*

"Go shower, smelly. You can borrow some of my clothes after... If they fit you. You can use the washing machine too, if you know how. Aoife's gone out to give her boyfriend the shift, so feck knows when she'll be getting home... Snogging her stupid boyfriend all day..."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right..."

*He stared at Declan for a few more moments before going upstairs to take a very cold shower.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*While Declan was waiting he got changed himself in his bedroom into some dry clothes. Then he retrieved his baby blanket from his bed and went to go wait on the couch while watching TV*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades left the bathroom and came downstairs in some of Declan's clothes (which did NOT fit his midget ass), sitting down with him.*

"Feck're you watching? Ain't this show for, like, baby kangaroos down under?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Mmhmm... I don't see the point in lying to you... You already know I'm a weird crybaby loser."

*May or may not be chewing on the corner of his blanket*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, smiling softly.*

"Why must he be so adorable and have a boyfriend? Screw you, God. You're a fecking cunt for doing this."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*The longer he sat there, the less attention he was paying to the TV, blinking longer and longer as he struggled to stay awake - though he was trying very hard to, because the last thing he needed was to fall asleep on the couch and piss on it. If he did that his dad would definitely make him sleep outside again.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oy. I can tell you're tired. If you need to sleep, then sleep. I'll clean up if... y'know."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'not... Níl mé tuirseach..."

*Actively falling asleep as he's talking*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades just keeps an arm around Declan as he sleeps, carefully moving the blanket to the other side of the couch just in case.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Declan had been asleep for only around twenty minutes when the front door opened and Aoife came home, Jason following behind her*

"My dad isn't home so we can go up and- Ugh, what are you doing here? And why's he asleep on the couch? I've already cleaned his bed this morning, I'm not cleaning the couch too."

"Fi, don't be-"

"Jason."

"Alright."

[ace-of-spuds]

"For someone who loves to tell me not to be a twat, you really are an awful twat to him, you ugly bastard. How dare he catch up on sleep when he's fucking tired, because you just feel like being a créatúr cruálach."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I'm fucking tired too. He has me, but I have no one. Dad was gonna beat the shit out of him this morning... Buaileadh mé ina ionad... Fine, let him sleep."

*Dragging Jason up the stairs with her*

"Stay down here, don't steal anything, a andúileach drugaí beag. You look even more retarded wearing our Declan's clothes by the way."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're one to talk, Aoife. Have you seen a mirror lately? Chaith tú clogad agus tú i do bhabaí agus níor chabhraigh sé fós.

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"YOU CHEEKY LITTLE TWA-"

"I don't know what he said but just ignore him Fi, c'mon, let's just go in your room."

"Níl uaidh ach dul i mbríste ár Declan..."

"Uh... Yeah, whatever you just said."

*Slams bedroom door dramatically behind them*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Like what?"

*Dumbass*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...don't worry about it, Decky."

*Continuing to rub the spot he slapped.*

"S'it still hurt?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head*

"Not really. I've had worse hits to the face now. Like when Nick knocked my tooth out... It's growing back now though, look."

*Smiling to show that his front tooth has indeed mostly grown back*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Good, you looked really stupid missing the damn thing."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Did I? I showed Mammy when she came to visit and she said I looked cute... I s'pose Mammy's always say that though."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You looked like an absolute bloody weapon."

"You did, you looked so cute."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Well... I lost it because I got in a fight, so, like, that means I'm cool, right?"

*Spades doesn't need to know that this 'fight' was just Declan getting absolutely decked in the face for once again running his mouth*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Depends. Did you win?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"...Yeah."

*Glancing to the side because he is very obvious when lying*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You can admit you're lying now or you can say it in the booth when we get to the church."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... Okay... But this other time I punched him in the face and he didn't hit me back so, like, that's technically winning."

*Conveniently leaving out the reason that Nick didn't punch him back is because he felt bad for scaring the shit out of him and making him cry*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're fucking adorable."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now are you done standing there looking stupid or are we just never gonna get to the damn church before the sun comes up tomorrow morning?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"I don't look stupid... Yeah, we can keep walking now."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He followed Declan in silence until they reached the church, stepping forward and holding the door open for him.*

"Ladies first, Pull-Ups."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*His face slowly turned red, but he kept his mouth shut and hands to himself because the one place he wouldn't ever dare to get in a fight or an argument in was a church.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Ha. You look like a right git, all red like that. Like you got a really bad sunburn. Then again, it's American winter. Your pale ass might've gotten it from the snow's reflection."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You're literally paler than me... And I'm not red, I don't know what you're going on about."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah, but I'm half-black, so feck off."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Don't look it... You sure your mam wasn't... You know?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You remember what happened last time you talked shite about me mam?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'sorry."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You better be. So, who's gonna get in the booth first?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Only just now remembering he's terrified of small, dark enclosed spaces*

"Uh... You."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right."

*Ten straight minutes in the confession booth later, he walks out with tear stains on his face, saying nothing as he just straight-up leaves the church.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Following after him*

"...Are you okay?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah... f-fine..."

*Bro is not fine.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You can tell me if you're not. I'm not gonna tell anyone else. I won't even say anything stupid."

[ace-of-spuds]

"With your gob, folks'll hear about it all the way back to Cork."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head, miming zipping his mouth closed in an exaggerated manner*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He just stared at the ground, sitting down on the stairs to the church.*

"...sit down with me?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He nodded and sat down on the steps next to him, trying to ignore that they were wet from the rain earlier and he could feel it soaking into the seat of his pants*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He leaned into Declan's side, crying into his shoulder.*

"...I-I killed my mum, Dec..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, resting his chin on the top of Spades' head*

"I don't believe you. You wouldn't do that."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...th-the day you left, I-I got drunk, broke some stuff, burned somethin', and fell asleep..."

*Leaving out the fact that that "something" was pictures of both of them together because he was angry that his crush disappeared.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Oh... Well, you didn't mean for any of that to happen, it was an accident, so your mammy will know it wasn't on purpose."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...I'm going to hell, Declan..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... I'll probably see you down there, then."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He sniffled, smiling the tiniest bit as he relaxed against Declan.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He was silent for a few moments, still hugging Spades*

"...You... Hmm... Do you want to shower at mine?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"...you're an asshole. Yeah, sure, let's go..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"What? An asshole would've just let you walk around being all smelly. I'm being nice."

*He stood up from the church steps, grimacing subtly at the fact sitting on wet concrete had made his pants all wet and cold*

[ace-of-spuds]

*The whole walk back to Declan's house, Spades was hanging off his side, letting out the faintest yawn right as they got to the door.*

"Sorry for making you get your pants wet..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"S'not the first time."

*Meaning he remembers all the summers back home when they would be playing with water guns and stuff, not all the times Spades had been somewhat responsible for Declan pissing himself.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...shit, I knew I forgot something in the booth."

*He said with a teasing edge, gently elbowing Declan in the ribs.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He just stuck his tongue out at him*

"Go shower, smelly. You can borrow some of my clothes after... If they fit you. You can use the washing machine too, if you know how. Aoife's gone out to give her boyfriend the shift, so feck knows when she'll be getting home... Snogging her stupid boyfriend all day..."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right..."

*He stared at Declan for a few more moments before going upstairs to take a very cold shower.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*While Declan was waiting he got changed himself in his bedroom into some dry clothes. Then he retrieved his baby blanket from his bed and went to go wait on the couch while watching TV*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades left the bathroom and came downstairs in some of Declan's clothes (which did NOT fit his midget ass), sitting down with him.*

"Feck're you watching? Ain't this show for, like, baby kangaroos down under?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Mmhmm... I don't see the point in lying to you... You already know I'm a weird crybaby loser."

*May or may not be chewing on the corner of his blanket*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, smiling softly.*

"Why must he be so adorable and have a boyfriend? Screw you, God. You're a fecking cunt for doing this."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*The longer he sat there, the less attention he was paying to the TV, blinking longer and longer as he struggled to stay awake - though he was trying very hard to, because the last thing he needed was to fall asleep on the couch and piss on it. If he did that his dad would definitely make him sleep outside again.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oy. I can tell you're tired. If you need to sleep, then sleep. I'll clean up if... y'know."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'not... Níl mé tuirseach..."

*Actively falling asleep as he's talking*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades just keeps an arm around Declan as he sleeps, carefully moving the blanket to the other side of the couch just in case.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Declan had been asleep for only around twenty minutes when the front door opened and Aoife came home, Jason following behind her*

"My dad isn't home so we can go up and- Ugh, what are you doing here? And why's he asleep on the couch? I've already cleaned his bed this morning, I'm not cleaning the couch too."

"Fi, don't be-"

"Jason."

"Alright."

[ace-of-spuds]

"For someone who loves to tell me not to be a twat, you really are an awful twat to him, you ugly bastard. How dare he catch up on sleep when he's fucking tired, because you just feel like being a créatúr cruálach."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I'm fucking tired too. He has me, but I have no one. Dad was gonna beat the shit out of him this morning... Buaileadh mé ina ionad... Fine, let him sleep."

*Dragging Jason up the stairs with her*

"Stay down here, don't steal anything, a andúileach drugaí beag. You look even more retarded wearing our Declan's clothes by the way."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Knocking on Declan's door, drenched in rain and slightly smelling of whiskey.*

-@ace-of-spuds

*Opens the door and stands there for a few seconds just staring*

"You're very wet."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Like what?"

*Dumbass*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...don't worry about it, Decky."

*Continuing to rub the spot he slapped.*

"S'it still hurt?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head*

"Not really. I've had worse hits to the face now. Like when Nick knocked my tooth out... It's growing back now though, look."

*Smiling to show that his front tooth has indeed mostly grown back*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Good, you looked really stupid missing the damn thing."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Did I? I showed Mammy when she came to visit and she said I looked cute... I s'pose Mammy's always say that though."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You looked like an absolute bloody weapon."

"You did, you looked so cute."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Well... I lost it because I got in a fight, so, like, that means I'm cool, right?"

*Spades doesn't need to know that this 'fight' was just Declan getting absolutely decked in the face for once again running his mouth*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Depends. Did you win?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"...Yeah."

*Glancing to the side because he is very obvious when lying*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You can admit you're lying now or you can say it in the booth when we get to the church."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... Okay... But this other time I punched him in the face and he didn't hit me back so, like, that's technically winning."

*Conveniently leaving out the reason that Nick didn't punch him back is because he felt bad for scaring the shit out of him and making him cry*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're fucking adorable."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now are you done standing there looking stupid or are we just never gonna get to the damn church before the sun comes up tomorrow morning?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"I don't look stupid... Yeah, we can keep walking now."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He followed Declan in silence until they reached the church, stepping forward and holding the door open for him.*

"Ladies first, Pull-Ups."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*His face slowly turned red, but he kept his mouth shut and hands to himself because the one place he wouldn't ever dare to get in a fight or an argument in was a church.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Ha. You look like a right git, all red like that. Like you got a really bad sunburn. Then again, it's American winter. Your pale ass might've gotten it from the snow's reflection."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You're literally paler than me... And I'm not red, I don't know what you're going on about."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah, but I'm half-black, so feck off."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Don't look it... You sure your mam wasn't... You know?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You remember what happened last time you talked shite about me mam?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'sorry."

[ace-of-spuds]

"You better be. So, who's gonna get in the booth first?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Only just now remembering he's terrified of small, dark enclosed spaces*

"Uh... You."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right."

*Ten straight minutes in the confession booth later, he walks out with tear stains on his face, saying nothing as he just straight-up leaves the church.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*Following after him*

"...Are you okay?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"Yeah... f-fine..."

*Bro is not fine.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"You can tell me if you're not. I'm not gonna tell anyone else. I won't even say anything stupid."

[ace-of-spuds]

"With your gob, folks'll hear about it all the way back to Cork."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He shook his head, miming zipping his mouth closed in an exaggerated manner*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He just stared at the ground, sitting down on the stairs to the church.*

"...sit down with me?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He nodded and sat down on the steps next to him, trying to ignore that they were wet from the rain earlier and he could feel it soaking into the seat of his pants*

[ace-of-spuds]

*He leaned into Declan's side, crying into his shoulder.*

"...I-I killed my mum, Dec..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, resting his chin on the top of Spades' head*

"I don't believe you. You wouldn't do that."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...th-the day you left, I-I got drunk, broke some stuff, burned somethin', and fell asleep..."

*Leaving out the fact that that "something" was pictures of both of them together because he was angry that his crush disappeared.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Oh... Well, you didn't mean for any of that to happen, it was an accident, so your mammy will know it wasn't on purpose."

[ace-of-spuds]

"...I'm going to hell, Declan..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"... I'll probably see you down there, then."

[ace-of-spuds]

*He sniffled, smiling the tiniest bit as he relaxed against Declan.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He was silent for a few moments, still hugging Spades*

"...You... Hmm... Do you want to shower at mine?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"...you're an asshole. Yeah, sure, let's go..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"What? An asshole would've just let you walk around being all smelly. I'm being nice."

*He stood up from the church steps, grimacing subtly at the fact sitting on wet concrete had made his pants all wet and cold*

[ace-of-spuds]

*The whole walk back to Declan's house, Spades was hanging off his side, letting out the faintest yawn right as they got to the door.*

"Sorry for making you get your pants wet..."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"S'not the first time."

*Meaning he remembers all the summers back home when they would be playing with water guns and stuff, not all the times Spades had been somewhat responsible for Declan pissing himself.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"...shit, I knew I forgot something in the booth."

*He said with a teasing edge, gently elbowing Declan in the ribs.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*He just stuck his tongue out at him*

"Go shower, smelly. You can borrow some of my clothes after... If they fit you. You can use the washing machine too, if you know how. Aoife's gone out to give her boyfriend the shift, so feck knows when she'll be getting home... Snogging her stupid boyfriend all day..."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Right..."

*He stared at Declan for a few more moments before going upstairs to take a very cold shower.*

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*While Declan was waiting he got changed himself in his bedroom into some dry clothes. Then he retrieved his baby blanket from his bed and went to go wait on the couch while watching TV*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades left the bathroom and came downstairs in some of Declan's clothes (which did NOT fit his midget ass), sitting down with him.*

"Feck're you watching? Ain't this show for, like, baby kangaroos down under?"

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"Mmhmm... I don't see the point in lying to you... You already know I'm a weird crybaby loser."

*May or may not be chewing on the corner of his blanket*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, smiling softly.*

"Why must he be so adorable and have a boyfriend? Screw you, God. You're a fecking cunt for doing this."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

*The longer he sat there, the less attention he was paying to the TV, blinking longer and longer as he struggled to stay awake - though he was trying very hard to, because the last thing he needed was to fall asleep on the couch and piss on it. If he did that his dad would definitely make him sleep outside again.*

[ace-of-spuds]

"Oy. I can tell you're tired. If you need to sleep, then sleep. I'll clean up if... y'know."

[thecoolersouthparkforeignkids]

"M'not... Níl mé tuirseach..."

*Actively falling asleep as he's talking*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Spades just keeps an arm around Declan as he sleeps, carefully moving the blanket to the other side of the couch just in case.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Declan had been asleep for only around twenty minutes when the front door opened and Aoife came home, Jason following behind her*

"My dad isn't home so we can go up and- Ugh, what are you doing here? And why's he asleep on the couch? I've already cleaned his bed this morning, I'm not cleaning the couch too."

"Fi, don't be-"

"Jason."

"Alright."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a kid with a broken leg by tripping over his crutches."

"He didn't trip, I hit him in the shin with my crutch."

"Shut up, it's funnier if it sounds like he did it to himself. Feckin' party pooper."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"If yous can be nice to him for a few hours I'll give you both a fiver."

"You're paying people to be nice to your brother?"

"Yeah. It's funny."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Ta' feck does five dollars get me? Mate, I'm living in a cardboard box in an alley. A fiver is just gonna end up being used to buy me more heroin or summat. Like, oh yeah, five feckin' dollars, I'm practically Elon Musk. Jeff Bezos over here. Oh, speaking of heroin, Niamh, go get me my needle."

"You go get it."

"You wanna wind up back in the hospital?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ah, just feck off then, you little druggie. I'll need that money for the little spastic anyway. Costs a fortune to raise."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Why not just ask yer mam for some money?"

"Niamh, shut up and go get me my FUCKING NEEDLE ALREADY."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Right, well, we've got things to do. Slán."

*Walking away*

"Why is your brother mates with a smack head?"

"Who else would want to be mates with him?"

"Is that even safe?"

"We live with an abusive borderline pedophile, we're never safe."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a kid with a broken leg by tripping over his crutches."

"He didn't trip, I hit him in the shin with my crutch."

"Shut up, it's funnier if it sounds like he did it to himself. Feckin' party pooper."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"If yous can be nice to him for a few hours I'll give you both a fiver."

"You're paying people to be nice to your brother?"

"Yeah. It's funny."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a kid with a broken leg by tripping over his crutches."

"He didn't trip, I hit him in the shin with my crutch."

"Shut up, it's funnier if it sounds like he did it to himself. Feckin' party pooper."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"If yous can be nice to him for a few hours I'll give you both a fiver."

"You're paying people to be nice to your brother?"

"Yeah. It's funny."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Ta' feck does five dollars get me? Mate, I'm living in a cardboard box in an alley. A fiver is just gonna end up being used to buy me more heroin or summat. Like, oh yeah, five feckin' dollars, I'm practically Elon Musk. Jeff Bezos over here. Oh, speaking of heroin, Niamh, go get me my needle."

"You go get it."

"You wanna wind up back in the hospital?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ah, just feck off then, you little druggie. I'll need that money for the little spastic anyway. Costs a fortune to raise."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a kid with a broken leg by tripping over his crutches."

"He didn't trip, I hit him in the shin with my crutch."

"Shut up, it's funnier if it sounds like he did it to himself. Feckin' party pooper."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"If yous can be nice to him for a few hours I'll give you both a fiver."

"You're paying people to be nice to your brother?"

"Yeah. It's funny."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Trust me, I know. I watched him lose a fight to a kid with blood cancer."

"Well, he took one of my chicken nuggets, he had it coming to him."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"I've seen him lose a fight with a feckin' wet paper bag."

"Our Angel chased him around with a handful of ants the other month."

"That was good craic... But everyone stop picking on him... As much. Give him a break."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"You wanna talk about an angry wee bastard, you can't leave your brudda out of the conversation. Difference is that 'wee' has a double meaning wit' t'at fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Hey, leave-" *Trying not to snicker* "Leave him alone. He's, like, disabled or something. Special needs."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

aoife what are your thoughts on spades since ur irish and hes irish

"He's a nasty little cunt. Making fun of our Declan."

"Don't you make fun of your brother all the time?"

"That's different."

"Yeah, if you're not taking the piss outta your siblings, what're you doing?"

[ace-of-spuds]

"The shite you say about that fecker is far worse than anything I've ever even thought behind his back, you absolute twat waffle."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Focáil leat. Didn't fecking ask you did I? Go suck off a homeless nonce for some crack or something."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Go third wheel your own boyfriend, gobshite. Feckin' eejit, say hi to yer mum for me. Oh, wait, nevermind."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Say hiya to your own mam, fecking overdose and kill yourself."

[ace-of-spuds]

"The only way you'd have a sick burn is if you were me mum, you fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"... Kenji, pass us your lighter."

"Why?"

"Just fecking pass me it."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I'LL BURN YOUR FECKING HOUSE DOWN WITH YER MA IN IT, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS FECKING LEPRECHAUN!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Pulling hairspray out of her bag, holding it up with the lit lighter in front, just staring him down.*

"Are you gonna light the kid on fire?"

"It's up to him."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Can we not set my brother on fire?"

"Niamh, shut the feck up, alright? I've got t'is 'andled. Stupid fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Feckin' tell me what to do, you bastard."

*Sprays the DIY flamethrower mere inches away from his face*

"Jesus, Aoife, he's just a kid."

"Pissed me off."

"Jay?"

*shrugs* "Pissed her off."

[ace-of-spuds]

*Broski went wide-eyed and froze up, dead quiet.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ha. Look at that."

"Aoife... You're gonna leave him alone now, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll leave him be..."

*Does it again with the widest grin on her face*

[ace-of-spuds]

*Niamh just grabbed a baseball bat and whacked her hands with it before swinging it at her head.*

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Ow! Alright! Jesus... It's not like I hurt him or anything."

*Stepping in front of her like a good boyfriend*

[ace-of-spuds]

"You're lucky you didn't singe his hair or something. Faighne? You okay?"

"...don't call me tha', you fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

*Cracking up and trying very hard not to laugh*

"Pfft, no wonder our Declan calls you Spuds. With a name like that, Spuds is an improvement."

"What does it mean?"

"Minge."

"Oh... What's minge?"

"Pussy."

"His mom named him vagina? Did she hate you?"

"Gave the other one a girls name too I think, if our Declan wasn't being a lying little shit again that is."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Da was a drunk and decided on the names. Not ma. Don't you talk shite about me ma, fecker."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"Sorry, my bad man. My dad had no say over any of our names, mom picked them all."

"Literally no one asked."

"Are you on your period or something?"

"Do you want to keep your tiny asian knob or should I cut it off?"

"Tiny? It's bigger than Jason's."

"It's fuckin' not, mate."

[ace-of-spuds]

"Fucking kill you, you talk some shite about me ma again, son of a bitch... leave you wishing you stayed on the rice fields where you belong... squinty-eyed fecker..."

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"なんだお前? The fuck did I do?"

"Obviously you said something bad about his mam, you feckin' eejit."

[ace-of-spuds]

"What, are your ears squinty too instead of just your eyes?"

"Faighne-"

"DON'T FECKIN' CALL ME THAT, MAC SOITH!"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"You've just called your mam a bitch, unless he's your brother from another mother."

[ace-of-spuds]

"I was callin' me da a bitch, not me ma. And we're twins. What, could you not tell?"

[xx-tecspfk-xx]

"It's called sarcasm, you feckin' eejit. You're an angry wee bastard, aren't you?"