(see description)

the most angsty mochi ball

[showerthoughtsofficial]

We kill time figuratively, but time kills us literally

[stupidfuckingquestions]

[zebablah-deactivated20160105]

television history

[virginmarx]

i’ve been trying to explain this sketch to people for years

[nitrosplicer]

This picture of a bunch of college kids trying to keep from getting busted by the police is like something from a baroque painting

[dailymarvelcast]

Documenting trips makes them that much richer. I stick in train tickets and business cards from restaurants. It makes the whole experience poetic, describing the sights, smells and sounds around me. It means I can relive the holiday years later.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

You’re the only person who thinks your voice sounds weird on an audio recording. That’s what you sound like to everyone else, all the time, and they don’t find it weird at all.

[carobren]

[dragontatoes]

this radiates such chill chaos

[witchlatte]

If you’ve never met me irl this is how I talk

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i take one look at a showroom with like a perfectly styled FJÅLBJØRKBÖLLSTORP or whatever and suddenly i am this woman

[dankmemeasstronaut]

A conservative dress with children of your own race. SO progressive!

[dingdongyouarewrong]

…. do you need something, or?

[dankmemeasstronaut]

Yes, I need to tell you that you have been manipulated by this site I used to spend my entire youth on. I used to be just like you but life made me mature and I realize now how brainwashed I was. This site is poison, and I sincerely and absolutely mean that. You were here since 2012? I was since 2009. Please, wake up, I beg you. Please stop being misled by all these labels and infighting and utopian ideals, it’s not worth it. Stop living life for cheap pleasure. Seeing innocent people be led to chaos like this makes me cry. It really does. i wish you the best.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

what in the god damn hell are you talking about……. this was a post about ikea

[hotboyproblems]

[xollos]

deadass this is the funniest fucking thing ive seen this year

[bird--queer]

AAAAAHHH

[thorodinson]

“Now we have the introduction of the most wonderful character, Valkyrie, played by Tessa Thompson. Usually, in these movies, these characters come in and they just kick everyone’s ass and they look really cool, and we wanted to do something different, where the introduction of this character was really unpredictable.” — Taika Waititi, “Thor: Ragnarok” Director’s Commentary

[greglestrade]

some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

[kai-ni]

#1 has worked in retail

#2 hasn’t

[alemicihan]

[oockitty]

The immortals are getting bold.

[mycroftrh]

One of those is… Weird Al…

[kryptonians]

If anyone is nigh immortal it’s Weird Al Yankovic

[greylilacs]

Lesson 1: don’t talk to the children during nap time. 

[lottafandoms]

Filmer: “Go to sleep.” Kitten: “No” Filmer: “Go to sleep!” Kitten: “No!” Filmer: “GO TO SLEEP.” Kitten: “NO!”

[caspzr-deactivated20190316]

[meangirlnurse]

Stardew Valley cracks me up bc like. at no point does the game even attempt to explain a game mechanic to you. guess, google or die

[medievalthymes]

a list of current immortals

florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen

keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe

jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess

harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s 

lorde: 1920′s flapper era

hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE

john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would

paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s

[reginakipling]

janelle monae: she’s from so far back that time loops and she first came to earth with the original aliens

[ampervadasz]

Menő

[that-one-support]

WHAT