Question. Something that occurred to me...
Something occurred to me recently, and I was curious of your opinion. I’ve noticed that higher order Fe/Fi-users (Dominant and Auxiliary) tend to have a tighter hold of their emotions, and thus are much more capable of controlling themselves in public settings. It seems like higher order Fe/Fi-users always suffer the stigma of being “overtly emotional” but they are quite the contrary, masters of emotion (like a Te/Ti Dominant and Auxiliary would be with logical execution.) When a higher order Fe/Fi-user is upset, they tend to be able to much more easily talk over their feelings and thus seem to be able to contain themselves in settings where they are upset until later to maintain social appropriateness.
Because of this, I tend to think lower order Fe/Fi-users have little power over their emotions so the stigma of them “not crying in public” or being stone cold when they are upset seems almost like an oxymoron. It is mastery of Te/Ti they have. Not Fe/Fi. We so easily say ISFJs, for instance, need to process their thoughts before explaining something with concrete logic and facts. But we never say that ISTJs need to take a moment to process their feelings in a healthy way.
See the Fe/Fi function is so low, it would make more sense if they were actually completely incapable of controlling their emotions in comparison to a higher order Fe/Fi-user who would let our their emotions in much healthier ways. In fact, I’ve noticed so many INTJs, ISTJs, ENTJs, ISTPs and the like seem so much more emotionally vulnerable than their “Feeling” counterparts due to their lack of ability to control their emotions. It seems almost logical to suggest these types can come across as much more sensitive, tantrumy, and the like just like their feeling counterparts are often seen as lacking logic consistency. I mean, wouldn’t a ISTJ in this case have much harder of a time not crying publicly than a ISFJ who has a tight range on their emotions and can express them in a more masterful manner?
I had wondered what your thought is about this argument, and if perhaps you think I’m coming out of left field. Or perhaps you think I hit the nail on the head? Thanks!
You are certainly on the right track, although lower Fi doesn’t often manifest in external ways. Fi is hidden, so you’re not often going to see it – just the results of it. Emotional vulnerability or uncertainty is one manifestation. If something happens, TeFi will often handle it calmly at the time and then need to go off somewhere to process what just transpired and work through its feelings… in the same way that FeTi might handle an escalating problem rather calmly and by trying to maintain peace, and then go off and wonder, “What the HELL just happened? What caused THAT??”
If Ti can comprehend immediately if something is irrational, Fi can comprehend immediately how it feels about a given situation. Asking lower Ti to explain itself becomes convoluted because abstract inner functions cannot clearly explain their meaning in external terms, so they fall back on external referencing or metaphors in order to express themselves. It’s not that the ISFJ needed time to decide if the situation is irrational (it knows it is) but that it needs time to figure out how to explain itself in diplomatic language (Fe).
Fi is the same way. It cannot begin to express the depth and breath of its emotion in terms that a layman can understand, nor would it even necessarily want to, so it comes out through Te. This is how you wind up with emotionally-driven poetry … the poet is trying to capture inner emotion, and must resort to imagery in order to capture that which is inexpressible.
However, as you point out, the lower a function is, the less faith a person has in it and the less skill is used when using it, so those with lower feeling functions have far less mastery over them than those who use them more often. I don’t know that I’ve talked about this here on the blog, but I have discussed this in private – that often we are envious of those who use functions with greater skill than we do. The inferior Se is somewhat in awe of Se-doms or auxes, who have no trouble with the things that inferior Se stumbles over. The Te-aux often is in awe of the Te-dom, simply because they can accomplish EVEN MORE. Aux-Fe looks on Fe-dom and envies how easily it can be diplomatic and keep its cool; it might react, but it can quickly get a “feel” for the other person and turn the tide. Lower Ne looks at higher Ne’s quick ability to connect things and wants it. Lower Ni wishes it had the clear foresight and purpose of higher Ni, and so on.
Emotional explosions are going to come out of lower Fe, because higher Fe knows when it is and is not appropriate to have a tantrum. Lower Fi is going to be more immature and childish in their outbursts than higher Fi. And yes, when those feelings DO kick in, in any kind of strong measure, it is much harder for the user to control them than it would be for a type with a stronger grip on those particular functions. Just as inferior Ti can wreak havoc by assigning the blame on someone or something that had nothing to do with the problem, or inferior Te can turn into a ruthless dictator, inferior Fi/Fe can be uncontrolled, neurotic, self-centered, and pitying when they’re unleashed on an epic scale.
So yes, when typing oneself and others, it’s important to look for your natural weaknesses and even those areas in which you ENVY other types… what do you have that works only “fair” that you wish you had better control over? That might go a long way to revealing your cognition… or seeing the cognition in someone else. What’s the most vulnerable thing about them?
Hilariously, this may show that what you think is a dominant is not; because if they cannot master it, do not have control over it, and are using it in childish ways, what you think rules them may actually be a lower function in charge.
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