👽

Slightly classy, mostly trashy stoner girl.

[xxxalienqueen]

I believe I have loved you in every lifetime.

[xxxalienqueen]

I’ve learned you my innocent lover

My sweet boy

I’m nothing to you but a body, a toy

I’ve learned when I’m wanted

I’ve learned when I’m needed

Oh how you’d hate me

Wouldn’t I suck?

If I wasn’t someone you could just fuck

You tell me you love me

Say I bring you peace

But I think all that you want,

Is me in your sheets

You like the control

When I say your name

Pretending to love me is just your fuck me game

Say I’m the one

Tell me I’m your girl

All you want is me thinking I’m your world

The harder you play me

The more I love

So the when you finally get your way, I’m just as good as done

[xxxalienqueen]

I want you to take my body and make it your own personal play ground. I want you to run your tongue from my lips down my neck, my body, down to where I can feel the warmth of your breaths inside me. I want you to touch me. Touch me in ways that would make anyone watchings stomach turn with a burn like hot liquor. Fuck me. I want to feel you inside me, slowly as you enter, make my legs shake. The feeling of you hitting against me from the inside makes me feel weak. Make me go to hell with the things I do for you. Put me on my knees, pull my hair back and make me gag. I want to choke on you, don’t let me stop. Tie me down. Put your fingers in my throat, your hand around my neck and make me beg. The things I want from you. Inexplicable through my vocal cords. At home, I touch myself to the thoughts of you as I breathe in the left over smell of you on my body. You ask me what I want. This. More. Everything. You

[xxxalienqueen]

Long nights

Longer than they’ve seemed to be before

Almost as though time seems to slow down for us

When I breathe I take breaths of the air you let out, leaving small gaps between our lips for soft moans

Between the whispers, our secrets

The darkest ones untold

Like lock and keep we seal them shut, with the continuing moans to keep them downed out for only us to hear

So long since I’ve felt hands slide down my spine and across my body leaving me grasping for the heat that still lingers where you touched

As our body’s slow, our moans subside

Time passes, slowly again as eyes flutter struggling to keep gaze

I lie patient for every quiet beat of your heart

You give me peace

You give me a sense of home in the places I once didn’t belong

You make me feel things I’ve never in my wildest dreams could’ve ever imagined to be a true emotion.

You make me live life to life, rather than to live to die

You make me feel limerence

[xxxalienqueen]

Have you ever watched someone hurt?

Not the kind of hurt where you can fix it with a bandaid though.

The kind of hurt that affects their heart.

You can see the shell of who they are deteriorating as their soul screams for help to get out.

As their eyes lose the bright blue that they once were.

And their smile, it starts to constantly turn downwards.

Yet, with every piece of yourself you give to patch them, their pain remains unsealed.

At night when the world is quiet, you hear their silent screams.

Muffled by the chaos of the world.

A broken soul.

How do you fix something like that?

[xxxalienqueen]

Void ; completely empty

Your void has become my home.

A constant dumping ground for me to pour myself into.

Everything I have, and everything I am, is given to that dark void inside you.

It’s swallowing me and I’m drowning.

Selflessly I’m allowing myself to drown to fill you with every waking part of my soul.

And when I have nothing left to give, nothing but my breathless, water filled lungs, I will let you drain them to quench any last thirst I can give to satisfy you.

I’m gone, and I’m dust, washed away by the water and emptied into the void.

[xxxalienqueen]

Darkness

All I hear is your soft moans, as your warm body is pressed tightly against mine. It’s been so long. Too long. Right here, now, there’s nothing in the world but us two. Our bodies interlocked, fitting perfectly together almost like puzzle pieces. Touch me. I hate it but I love it from you. Soft bites down my neck, your fingers tracing the outline of me. I’m vulnerable but I’m yours. Possess me. Like someone had made me for you, you take control. Making my every movement be what you want because what I want is you.

[xxxalienqueen]

I don’t know what I should’ve done that night.

If the choice I made was the right one because maybe if I had done something different I wouldn’t be here right now.

I remember not much but staring at the illuminated screen.

I made mistakes then, but not now.

I’m different. I am brave. I am no longer those broken pieces you saw scattered across your bedroom floor that night.

And when you left, I had thought it was because you couldn’t handle someone like me. That someone like me, who was so damaged could never deserve love. Could never be wanted.

But I found it, and here you are again.

So I do what most in the world would, and I go home.

[xxxalienqueen]

Sometimes,

Sometimes we accept fake love.

We take whatever we can from the people that we want the most.

And we sink in everything they give us,

Hoping one day that will give us the love we have for them.

We do things we said we would never do.

Because all we want is to just feel anything.

To breathe free and to have true emotions that we can allow to be out.

But we hide them so that we can get the fake love, anything we can get.

[xxxalienqueen]

I love falling.

When you fall and you’re stuck in the abyss.

Lost, you’re wandering but somehow at peace.

The feelings you get of nausea.

When the trees start to spin,

And somehow you find yourself on the ground.

You stare at the stars and wonder what it would be like to get up.

Close your eyes.

Imagine you are the stars.

All of them.

As the world is asleep, you quietly watch.

The lovers.

So intently laying there in each others arms.

They stare into each others eyes.

Pain, he feels the overwhelming feeling of pain.

Scared, she’s scared as she looks back at him.

Lost, they fall into the abyss.

Nothing.

Nothing but stars.