150lbs To Lose.

23| lesbianlTw: disordered eating and toxic wl. Fully relapsing. None of my posts are advice. I am keeping a log basically No fatphobia!!

[xxxtallyxxx]

Intro 🍄

Sw: 286lbs or 129kg

Cw :256 as of June 1st

252 as of June 5th!

I’ll be posting my wl blogs and wieiad mostly here to log my progress. I try not to vent too much.

Being in my 20s, I can’t ⭐️ve like I could as a teen. Sadly, I have to be careful about this shit. Being in an adult body but still having my teenage mindset means just wanna reduce harm as much as possible.

Since I’m such a high starting weight. My calories need to be at least 1000 and my daily max is 1300.

due to my PT appointments where I weight lift. I will be having “maintenance days” (where I eat 1800 cals even tho my TDEE is 2300(excluding workouts). It’ll also help with plateaus. Plus having these higher cal days when I’m strength training prevent me from bingeing. Which I’ve been clean of for 6 months (as well as Mia for 2 years)

I fast around 16-18 hours as many days as I can. I drink coffee tea, and zero cal drinks during my fasts. Sorry not sorry.

Please share recipes!!! Now that I’m no longer mia, I need to actually put so much intention into the food.

Wl goals

Gw1: 225lbs

Gw2: 200lbs

Gw3: 175lbs

Gw4: 150lbs

GW5: 125lbs

UGW:110 (just SLIGHTLY underweight according to bmi)

THEN: imma build muscle like crazy and be lean 130?!? Am I dreaming too much? Maybe!!! Going for 10% body fat

Anyway, let’s be mutuals and keep each other motivated!

[xxxtallyxxx]

Umm compootah how many calories in a cigawette

[xxxtallyxxx]

There's a lack of community for ACTUALLY fat people having an ED

I see a lot of young people on here and i understand at the end of the day... eating disorders are mental illness. I don't want there to be any sort of idea that I think that being thin with an ED isn't valid. It's very valid. However, there's so many spaces on the internet for thin people to support each other. While being fat is isolating.

The spaces for fat people are either riddled with hatespeech, pro fat echo chambers (I don't mean fat liberation, I mean "fat people superiority" bullshit), and the same diet nonsense (like no I'm not eating carnivore?)

I really wish there was an ed support community for those of us who struggle with restriction, obsession with cals, and the desire to lose weight beyond just feeding our sickness. We want better treatment, we want to feel like the world was built for us. I want to be able to dress in my fashion sense freely. I want to be considered respectable and no longer have people assume I'm lazy and dumb for my size. Yes, I'm sick and want to sT- @ -rve ... but It's more than that.

We all hate our bodies here... but not all of us exist in bodies that everyone else hates too.

I wish I could have people to chat with that understand the reality of losing 100+ lbs. Thinspo doesn't work when you know that your end result will be saggy. The toxic motivation is all about an unrealistic ideal. The idea of a thin body that looks like it was NEVER fat isn't something I can work with. I just want people who understand MY reality.

If you are over 180lbs (or ever have been) and struggle with ed, would you wanna join a group chat of some kind?? Please reach out, this feels hopeless when it's all happening by myself.

[xxxtallyxxx]

Just remembered cigarettes are actually the cure

[xxxtallyxxx]

June 5th - toxic wl blog:)

TW! Ed 18+ block don’t report pls.

I won’t lie… I’m feeling so good today. I feel high on the drug that is discipline

Fast: 17 hours

Meals:

I had two meals. One was my meal prep(chicken potatoes broccoli etc) in a tortilla and then for dinner I made a Trader Joe’s margarita pizza and added pepper and onions

Then I had 78g of ice cream :)

Overall:

Feeling so good!!!

Not fasting this weekend. Just gonna try to keep under 1800. Need to balance my metabolism and I don’t wanna be food oriented all weekend :)

[xxxtallyxxx]

SRIACHA IS THAT GIRLLLLLLLL

[subunnywl]

the feeling of working out while having an empty stomach

[xxxtallyxxx]

No wl blog but didn’t binge and ate very clean. So feeling good.

[xxxtallyxxx]

Getting in your steps with a prolonged ankle injury is not for the weak. Just got back from PT and she basically told me not to walk for two days….. but I’d rather not have to cut cals to 800 again….

[xxxtallyxxx]

I NEED A WL BUDDIES WHO HAVE A HIGH STARTING/CURRENT WEIGHT!!

I’ve got some good moots on this app and this isn’t because they aren’t great! I’m just greedy and want more!!! lol

I’m looking for someone who understands how hard it is to lose so much weight. People who wanna do daily check, ins, and motivate each other. Obviously 18+ only I’m not trying to make anyone sicker. I just think some of us are out here really needing to lose the weight and it would be great if we could help each other out. 

Message me if you understand the struggles of being in a large body and/or losing lots of weight. Or just need someone to motivate. I’m all about calorie counting and keeping a precise food intake log

[xxxtallyxxx]

June 3rd- toxic weightloss blog

18+ not pro ana but instead pro harm reduction

I hurt my ankle even worse today. Barely got any movement in.

Meal one: 100cals

Broke my fast with an iced coffee and I wanted it to feel like a treat so I used some sugar free creamer and oat milk.

Then had 3 mugs of black tea. And half a big cucumber

Meal two: 435 cals

Had a meal prep but added a tortilla because sometimes it’s the little things.

Meal Three:

Made pasta with marinara sauce and tofu as the protein. I sautéed the tofu which had been frozen so it had the texture of ground meat in a red sauce. Delish!

Snacks: 140 cals

I had 28g of milk chocolate chips as my dessert.

Overall:

Had a good cal day. Was able to eat small portions of more dense foods so I don’t feel grouchy!

Started my fast at 7:25pm! I’ll be back tomorrow!

[xxxtallyxxx]

Spent 80 cal on an iced coffee then immediately saw the scale go up. so this is my breakfast. I’m out of green tea! So earl grey it is.

[xxxtallyxxx]

Okay literally can’t fast longer. I’m gonna have some cucumber!

[xxxtallyxxx]

Okay so it’s 3pm and I’m almost 200 cals over my planned intake. I started mindlessly snacking??? I think I’m just gonna start my fast now.

Embarrassed but I literally think I’m just gonna workout an extra hour and not eat anymore today.

[xxxtallyxxx]

Realizing an open face smore is about 110 cals just changed my life.

Pop them in the microwave for 8!!! Seconds. Let the marshmallow melt the chocolate and you have the best low cal treat.

One half of a graham cracker sheet

One standard size marshmallow

And one quarter of a Hershey bar

[xxxtallyxxx]

May 31st - toxic weight loss blog

18+ TW!!

Had a horrible binge yesterday. Today was about stability rather than punishment. Trying to just go back to my original calories and sticking to it! Weighing my food and going by grams in Cronometer helps me stay sane.

Exercise:

I spent the day moving boxes and doing manual labor manual labor. Like 8 hours no break. So that’s kind of my movement for the day. But it doesn’t count towards my deficit.

Meal 1: 302.8 cals

Toast - 110 cals

Eggs fried in oil - 192.8 (def didn’t use all the oil in the pan but oh well. I’m counting it)

Meal 2: 776 cals

Ramen plus 2 eggs and tofu!

Overall:

Feeling so good about today! Fast started at around 9pm and gonna do a minimum of 16 hours. Bonus points if I can hit 18 and mega bonus if wait till dinner and get over 20!

[kaijuerotica]

sorry im on tumblr literally all day and reblogged your post within 43 seconds. it will happen again