I guess, your name, your face, you.. you've been imprinted on my heart and mind. I still think of you; before I close my eyes to sleep, even when after I close my eyes. Waking up, you've become my first thought from sleeping. Whatever I do, I still think of you; whenever I eat, take a bath, brush my teeth, washing clothes, washing plates, walking, laying, standing.. you're thoughts make my mind fly. It's crazy how much I think about you. How much you plague my mind. How much you assault my heart. Everything reminds me of you. Even simple things like starry nights, the place we met again. But you know, what happened on 26th Saturday of 2017 made me happy.. for you. I realized, I should not be sad. It's not like you left me there, alone. Its not like you did that because you liked someone else. Its not like you said those things to hurt me. No. I was happy. I am happy. You were honest and brave. And thank you so much! You wanted to do that for US to fix ourselves.. let us do that. I wanted to be there for you.. I want to help you build yourself for the future, and I want to be a part of that 'future'. I want to see you succeed, I want to see the glimmer in your eyes after all your hardwork and sacrifices pay off. I will not give up rooting for you and will encourage to not be afraid of trying again. I will always support you to stand back up and continue to fight for your dreams. I want to witness your victory, kiss you in both cheeks and whisper to your ears, "yes you deserved all of it." My love, this love for you. Its.. genuine. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Yung pag-ibig na hindi nakakainis. I just want you to be happy, to cheer you up whenever you're down. Yung hindi sumusumbat, iintindihin ka palagi. Yung hindi namimilit, hindi possessive, hindi palaging nagseselos. Yung susuportahan ka. I just want to love you without anything in return. The way I love you is easy. It isn't the kind of wild, quick to light and quick to end passion they talk about in movies. There are no dragons to slayir wars to fight in our movie. It is comfort. It is understanding, it is softness of the very best kind. Its the kind of feel good movie that starts on a slightly sad note and ends on an inspiring one. Amd the way the sun rises only after kissing the horizon, there is something so soft and guiet about it. We never shout at each other. We never scream. There isn't any hostility or anger or resentment. When we do speak, it is soft, pabebe, malambing, cute. Like the way a bird sings in the morning awake or how you listen to the waves softly sweep to the land at night. I just want to tell you and I wanted you to know; I dont want to live my life with what ifs from my feelings for you. You knew, you knew how much I love you. You dont know how thankful I am that the world has placed you in my life.. because of you, all of my problems in my life became bearable. Hindi ako nagagalit o naiinis. Iniisip ko yung happy memories natin from day 1 of my decade love, from day 1 ulit of seeing you after 9 years. Puro naman yun happy memories eh.. naluluha ako sa saya pag naiisip ko yun. Iba talaga. Ibang iba ang happiness kapagka gustoooooooong gusto mo talaga yung tao. Yung kapag naiisip ko gaano kita kamahal? Haaaaa.. nakakagaan ng damdamin. Cloud nine. Euphoria. Extreme happiness. You were someone who brings light to my chest, who clears my mind and fills my soul with flames. You gives me sunshine on rainy days. Your touch brings warmth to my skin whenever Im cold. Wala ka pa ngang ginagawa, yung simpleng pagtitig mo lang sa akin.. your the love that wont let the smile in my lips fade. Your the love that would hold my hand when I feel troubled, calms me down by your words, presence and care. Someone who hugs me whenever I'm about to cry. Someone who understands, feels and recognizes all my pain. When there are times that no one seems to care about what I go through, you are always there to listen. Sometimes I just wanted to shut my mouth from sharing all my problems and heaviness in my heart but you let me spill it all to you, you can feel it.. always telling me "parang may di ka sinasabi sa akin." You never told me na nakakarindi na ako, na ang drama ko na.. Sorry if pinilit ko, salamat din. You gave it a chance. And, nagbunga. We became closer. In a span of 6 months, ang dami na nating moments together. Kahit na after mong mag resign, 3-4 times na lang kita makita per month. That 7-14 days of waiting bago ka makita? Sobrang worth it.. Alam mo anong nararamdaman ko ngayon? Kasaya ko. Ugh. Kahilakon ko.. yung taong gusto ko lang maging partner sa prom noon na di ko talaga nakita ni isang beses sa loob ng siyam na taon, binigay sa akin on the 9th year. Binigay sa akin after more than a decade of love.. nakita ko sya ulit, mas nakilala pa, naging close, may mutual feelings, naging boyfriend ko pa talaga. Tapos ngayon, partner ko.. sa kain. Sa kabuang. Sabi nila, the right person at the wrong time is still a wrong person. But ikaw? Hindi. Ikaw ang great love ko. Nag pause lang yung story natin, nagbakasyon kasi ang author.. magreresume din ito alam ko. Positive lang! I dont want you to be just a memory. I dont want you to be just a character in my story.. I want to provide you a lifetime supply of happiness. Kapag namimiss kita? Kinakausap ko sya.. ill held my hand together and close my eyes. kahit sakanya ko na lang ipadaan mga gusto ko sabihin sayo.. kasi minsan hindi ka man makareply sa akin. Kung.. kumain ka na ba? Okay ba tulog mo? Mag ingat ka kung may lakad ka. Kung mag drive ka ng motor, hina ka lang, wag ka magpaulan at masyado magpainit. Wag ka magpuyat. Okay ka lang kaya? Kumusta kaya araw mo? Hay.. minsan din nakakaworry pero alam ko man din he is with you all the time. Di ka nya pabayaan. :-) ikaw pa. Lablab ka nun. Please dont forget about me. Please dont just bury my feelings for you. Please.. Yung tanong mo sa akin? What if sa future magkita tayo and.. hehe manligaw ka? Pakinggan mo kanta ni KLYMAXX, yung ISSY. ❤️ I will always choose you, it will always be you.. In this world full if uncertainties, I was always sure of you. Just please dont make me hate you..
