exzessiv

Nobody else will be there

[inkskinned]

It is so strangely empty to give up on somebody. You've done the fighting and the screaming, the whispered practiced speeches you said in the mirror and the crying in public places. the attempts at logic, the subtle sideways begging. And you sit in your cooling car or in the library or on the train and you realize - that was actually it, wasn't it. It's not worth it anymore. The remains of your relationship have been ashes for so long now - why are you still trying to call the fire department. Why are you doing this. You never walk out without shaking, and they always walk out having said the last word and struck the last blow.

And you think: when did it happen? When did I grow up more than you did? When did you stop trying to be a better person? Why wasn't I good enough to keep in your life? Were you ever listening? Did you ever care what was going on with me? Was I just around because then you'd have somebody on your side? Why are you like this? Why? Why? Why?

I wanted cutting it off to be cathartic. It was instead kicking a winter beehive. Nothing but a cold sting inside.

[recaption]

[art-mysecondname]

Egon Schiele - Les amants 1909

[st-alajlan-deactivated20210402]

You can't find me in someone else.

[redlipstickresurrected]

[thoseconstellations-deactivated]

As confused and as angry as I am, I still miss you. Do you know how fucking pathetic that makes me feel?

(via lulu-a)

[minusgold]

kollateral

wie heißt du und seit wann lebst du so laut und verschwenderisch unter meinen kapillaren in einem universum das keine geschichte für uns vorgesehen hat ich sitze den winter aus in abwesenheit der berührung

[compulsive]

[a-ltrove]

[bruwho]

[recaption]

[danger]

taken from my Instagram ( https://instagram.com/p/BP6SxbfBzIf/ )

[witchoria]

[saskiakeultjes]

[uranodioning]

i’m not lying on the floor physically but i am lying on the floor spiritually

[love]

via weheartit

[lingrix]

“If a person can’t get out of bed, something is making them exhausted. If a student isn’t writing papers, there’s some aspect of the assignment that they can’t do without help. If an employee misses deadlines constantly, something is making organization and deadline-meeting difficult. Even if a person is actively choosing to self-sabotage, there’s a reason for it — some fear they’re working through, some need not being met, a lack of self-esteem being expressed. People do not choose to fail or disappoint. No one wants to feel incapable, apathetic, or ineffective. If you look at a person’s action (or inaction) and see only laziness, you are missing key details. There is always an explanation. There are always barriers. Just because you can’t see them, or don’t view them as legitimate, doesn’t mean they’re not there. Look harder. Maybe you weren’t always able to look at human behavior this way. That’s okay. Now you are. Give it a try.”

—

— “Laziness Does Not Exist” by E Price on Medium

(And a footnote I didn’t see explicitly covered in the article: laziness still doesn’t exist when it is you yourself making no progress and not knowing why. You deserve that respect and consideration, too, even from yourself.)