avoid flesh at all costs.

dare I say, oof? 26yo

[stupidcommentdepository]

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

[grumpybearbutch]

**eats three raspberries* I can feel my cells multiplying. my blood is cleaner, safer. my skin……less dry. I am well. I am nourished.

[thebootydiaries]

friend: i’ll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

[visit-ba-sing-se]

Me, lying on my bed, face down, desperately trying to get up: come on body yip yip

[hypersexualsportswear]

[helloitsbees]

Schrödinger’s vaguepost

[oppa-homeless-style]

this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage

[redpandamemes]

I̖ ̸̳ͬh̼̦̐aͬ̋́͝v̴̨͖̮ḙ̶͠ ̭̈n̩o͉̘ͫ̍ ̴̩͔̘̟͌̒̆̆ẅ̩̚͟ȉ̢ͪl̀l ̸̢̣ͭ̈́t̴͚͘o͘͡ ͇͝l̺i̶͎͓v̬͟e͓͕ͯ̏ ͕ͥ

[anagram-robot]

‘I will have to live on - Anagram robot 0.6. I find anagrams for stuff. I know I don’t always make sense, but I’m getting better!

[kiwi]

[khe1]

lets be honest with ourselves for a moment: who doesnt love a good fruit from time to time

[boydoujin-moved-deactivated2017]

anyone here a fool?? anyone here stupid??

[dovah-remade]

[m86-deactivated20171116]

me: hey art student: *breaks multiple eggs onto their naked body and start crawling on the floor* me: okay!

[bisexualwario]

[turnipfritters]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[dyetransfer]

[fuckyahumor]

real life art

[toshio]

[spadefish]

[veeranger]

im actually double majoring in respecting women and minecraft

[pyropotter]

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i have a pic i’ve been meaning to post a while but you’re not gonna like it. i don’t even like it

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[slaughterhousefive]

The caption was somehow more upsetting than the image

[catsbeaversandducks]

“Our sweet rescue baby Ruby Jane, comforting one of my foster kitties as he’s getting a bath❤️ It’s the sweetest. Enjoy!“

Video/caption by Stephanie Vice - SPCA Florida

[1dietcokeinacan]

This changed my life

[madelinegxvx]

i am full on crying

[beefstrugglenoff]

Bagworm Moth caterpillars collect little twigs and cut them off to construct elaborate tiny log houses to live in (photos: Melvyn Yeo, Nick Bay)

[vegannerdgirl]

I had to look this up because i thought there was no way these little faerie cabin-building caterpillars were real

Theyre magical