Fanny Rosales @yassssfannyyassss - Tumblr Blog

“It’s not cold” they said. “You’ll be fine with just a sweater” they said. “It’s above freezing” they said. “IT IS FREAKING COLD” I SAID.

rudy-on-ice

You look cute fantasy fanny

yassssfannyyassss

Seriously? Your type is Michelin Man? BUT THANK YOU, I AM ADORABLE AND YOU ARE ADORABLE COME HERE I’M COLD.

#rudy halpert you have done a complete 180 and i am living for it

jade-onskates‌:

oh you don’t think i know that already? i can give you my leggings if you want.

Nah, you keep your leggings and enjoy your sausage.

#I AM CACKLING OVER HERE #YOU TWO ARE A RIOT

jade-onskates

yassssfannyyassss‌:

“It’s not cold” they said. “You’ll be fine with just a sweater” they said. “It’s above freezing” they said. “IT IS FREAKING COLD” I SAID.

you’ve just got to learn how to be warm all over

yassssfannyyassss

Yeah, well, your method of “warm all over” brought pizza, I’m just saying.

#wink wank #get it henny #gonna have to drink some stuff #also steal someone's hat

“It’s not cold” they said. “You’ll be fine with just a sweater” they said. “It’s above freezing” they said. “IT IS FREAKING COLD” I SAID.

#fleece lined everything here i com #brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr #ya'll must be like cold blooded and just freeze in the winter or something

Get you a reindeer who can fix your haiiiir.

#lookit him being so precious #i can't breathe #GDhujfigohyujipkop

rudy-on-ice‌:

It was risque but it sounded like a really good idea at the time. Before his sensible reason caught up to his desire, Rudy leaned down and gave a kiss on Fanny smiling cheeks.

… then her jawline.

… then her lips.

Before anything could register that he was not doing what he said he would be doing. Rudy had already picked fanny up and was crushing her between him and the wall as he made out with her feverishly.

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

And just like that a moment that would be put in the records of Rudy Halpert awakening. Rudy snapped out of it and quickly put fanny on her feet as he stumbled back looking shock “ I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!!! I didnt do what I said I would do I got overzealous I’m so sorry fanny. So sorry. Dont think any less of me. I wont do it again-” he kept apologizing as he freaked out. He was supposed to kiss her on her cheek nothing more or less. Now he knew why his mother said to be careful. Once the halpert Gene’s kicked in so does the Higgins. Was he becoming a Nympho like his siblings? Hes been careful. Was kissing near the face too powerful for him to handle.

“Uh excuse me wheres your bathroom ” he asked fanny.

Estefania Rosales had been expecting a kiss on the cheek worthy of a priest sworn to celibacy. What she got instead was a whole new Rudolph Halpert. All of the Halpert legends come true. The Incredible Hulk of Halpert. Holy Hell Halpert. She kissed him back, momentarily alarmed by the anti-gravity effects that kissing someone that damn tall had when you were that damn short, but it was a good alarm, and she would have been happy to never put her feet on the ground again. The ground was over rated. Holy hell what had gotten into Rudy.

And then he panicked, started apologizing, and panicking and apologizing because he was Rudy and he was just so god damn adorable and his hair was even nicer when it was all messed up (post make out Rudy was the best look on Rudy). "Rudy, Rudy, no no no it's all good, really, smiling, see, smiling," she pointed as if anyone could miss the face splitting smile she was wearing. Not a few days ago they had still been in that awkward friendzone, and this had escalated quite nicely. "You gotta calm down or you gotta get down here so I can kiss you so you stop apologizing, cuz if I go to get the stepstool you're gonna bolt."

Except maybe not, cuz he needed the bathroom.

"Uh, second door on left. On the left." Fanny said, feeling like she was in one damn hot damn good damn movie about body snatchers. "It's all good. All good."

She was gonna have to send out a lot of very confusing text messages in the nearish future here. But no one would believe that Rudy "We Hold Hands" Halpert was apparently a MAKE OUT KING. WTGHYejkifghjkm. There were no words in any known language for this one.

For now she settled for running around the living room in circles doing silent screams and hopping around like a deranged lunatic.

#c: rudy #paras

rudy-on-ice

Rudstafania v-day

“Okay rudolph. You got this. Today is your first even with your new girlfriend” he was in the middle of giving himself a pep talk. He twindle with the foil packet in his hand while looking at the arrangement he made for Fantasy Fanny. It’s not every day you had a girlfriend that was once his bestfriend.

PING!

Text Message

Nathan: Make sure you use the condoms. Make her your woman unleash the hidden reindeer

Rudy: stop being crass

Nathan: make me a proud brother not an uncle.

Rudy: goodnight Nathaniel

Rudy rolled his eyes and decided enough was enough, he grabbed his bouquet and began making his way to Fanny room.

@yassssfannyyassss

yassssfannyyassss

If Fanny had been able to read the text messages, she probably would have grabbed the bouquet, put it down somewhere, and dragged Rudy in by the antlers, er, shirt collars. But all she saw was the person who had finally got the memo that she wanted to be his girlfriend with a bigass bouquet that involved chocolate, and that was pretty damn special.

“AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH WHAT DID YOU DO?” she screeched, bouncing around like a deranged ping pong ball, lauching herself into an (almost) bouquet crushing hug. “THAT IS SO NICE. YOU’RE SO NICE. YOU’RE SO TALL I NEED A LADDER.”

She gestured for him to come in, “Just a minute just a minute, I got stuff for you here… somewhere.” One of the only benefits of living with her brother was that she could raid his stuff. And he always had nice stuff, so she turned the vase she knew he hid the good stuff in upside down, came up with a bottle of rum, and pointed it at Rudy, “I do not have an actual present for you, since, you know, I’m kind of the best Valentine’s present ever, but mostly because you were being a difficult reindeer until yesterday so I had no time, but also cuz I’m cute, but anyway, there is rum. Abuelo says rum is always a good present. The best pressent.”

rudy-on-ice

Fanny excitement had him a little taken back. “I didnt do anything…. not that I know of” as she further explained her excitement as indicating to the present.

“Oh wow rum…. what i always wanted”. Was it rude to decline a gift? He knew it had to be rude but he wasn’t a drinker yet this was there first couple holiday together. Taking the bottle of rum from Fanny. Rudy thanked her for the gift before placing it on the table. He was going to hug her but decided it would be best to ask her before making any grandeur movements. “Fanny is it okay if i-if we-uh kiss? Please say no if you must but I just wanted to kiss your cheek” he rambled slowly turning red as he went on.

yassssfannyyassss

"Rudy, this is our first Valentines, I'm gonna be excited, and you’re so sweet," Fanny said. "And yeah, it's good rum. I mean, I like pretty much anything that gets me drunk, but my Abuelo likes that rum, and he actually cares what it tastes like, y'know?" Judging from Rudy's face, he didn't. But that was okay, this was a good rum. And Gael would probably take a hot minute to realize it was missing, or assume that he and his friends had drunkenly drank the thing and forgot about it.

Rudy started going red and asking questions. And Fanny stared at him, like, who was this alien and what had he done with Rudy "We Hold Hands" Halpert? There was either some bodysnatching going on or baby reindeer was getting booooooold.

"You sure that's not too risque for you?" Fanny teased, grinning broadly, "But yeah. That sounds like a really good idea, but you've either gotta come down here or I've gotta go get a stepstool."

rudy-on-ice

Rudstafania v-day

“Okay rudolph. You got this. Today is your first even with your new girlfriend” he was in the middle of giving himself a pep talk. He twindle with the foil packet in his hand while looking at the arrangement he made for Fantasy Fanny. It’s not every day you had a girlfriend that was once his bestfriend.

PING!

Text Message

Nathan: Make sure you use the condoms. Make her your woman unleash the hidden reindeer

Rudy: stop being crass

Nathan: make me a proud brother not an uncle.

Rudy: goodnight Nathaniel

Rudy rolled his eyes and decided enough was enough, he grabbed his bouquet and began making his way to Fanny room.

@yassssfannyyassss

yassssfannyyassss

If Fanny had been able to read the text messages, she probably would have grabbed the bouquet, put it down somewhere, and dragged Rudy in by the antlers, er, shirt collars. But all she saw was the person who had finally got the memo that she wanted to be his girlfriend with a bigass bouquet that involved chocolate, and that was pretty damn special.

“AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH WHAT DID YOU DO?” she screeched, bouncing around like a deranged ping pong ball, lauching herself into an (almost) bouquet crushing hug. “THAT IS SO NICE. YOU’RE SO NICE. YOU’RE SO TALL I NEED A LADDER.”

She gestured for him to come in, “Just a minute just a minute, I got stuff for you here... somewhere.” One of the only benefits of living with her brother was that she could raid his stuff. And he always had nice stuff, so she turned the vase she knew he hid the good stuff in upside down, came up with a bottle of rum, and pointed it at Rudy, “I do not have an actual present for you, since, you know, I’m kind of the best Valentine’s present ever, but mostly because you were being a difficult reindeer until yesterday so I had no time, but also cuz I’m cute, but anyway, there is rum. Abuelo says rum is always a good present. The best pressent.”

yassssfannyyassss

Rudeboy Rudy [TXT]: are you going with Remington?

[text]: HELL TO THE NO

yassssfannyyassss

rudy-on-ice‌:

[TXT]: a what?

Typing…

Typing….

[TXT]: so your my girlfriend right? It’s not in my head

[text]: WELL APPARENTLY NOT SINCE YOU DIDN’T KNOW

[text]: but i totally should be

[text]: y’know, jes sayin

yassssfannyyassss

Rudeboy Rudy [TXT]: are you going with Remington?

[text]: HELL TO THE NO

yassssfannyyassss

rudy-on-ice‌:

[TXT]: wouldn’t you want to be with your boyfriend?

//typing

[text]: well I would if he wasn’t being a little fucktrumpet

yassssfannyyassss

dare: wear a sign that says ‘kiss me if you think I’m cute’. you can't take it off until you get 3 kisses.

Hi, I’m adorable. @rudy-on-ice and two other people ya gotta help a girl out here so I don’t have to go shopping with this thing. I’ll cause a traffic jam.

yassssfannyyassss

remi-ofyourdreams‌:

you’re welcome, mi amor. if you need help with those last two kisses, i’m sure we can bend the rules a little.

Yeah, hard pass.

#how's it going with that finn guy?#i mean #other than the bad case of blue balls

yassssfannyyassss

Rudeboy Rudy [TXT]: are you going with Remington?

[text]: HELL TO THE NO

rudy-on-ice

[TXT]: okay cool.

yassssfannyyassss

[text]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND?

rudy-on-ice

[TXT]: aaaaaaaand that’s cool.

Rudeboy rudy is typing

[TXT]: are you going with anyone?

yassssfannyyassss

[text]: am i going with you?

yassssfannyyassss

dare: wear a sign that says ‘kiss me if you think I’m cute’. you can't take it off until you get 3 kisses.

Hi, I’m adorable. @rudy-on-ice and two other people ya gotta help a girl out here so I don’t have to go shopping with this thing. I’ll cause a traffic jam.

yassssfannyyassss

remi-ofyourdreams‌:

hmm yes, that’s why i’ve kissed your “girlfriend” already and you still haven’t yet

Thank you, next.

#YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE

yassssfannyyassss

dare: wear a sign that says ‘kiss me if you think I’m cute’. you can't take it off until you get 3 kisses.

Hi, I’m adorable. @rudy-on-ice and two other people ya gotta help a girl out here so I don’t have to go shopping with this thing. I’ll cause a traffic jam.

yassssfannyyassss

rudy-on-ice‌: