āPlus, he speaks highly of you ā at least he did when he was playing with Cow ā had even asked if Iāve seen your art before, and wondered how I could convince you to show it to him.āĀ
She grumbled, āUgh, why does he want to see it so badly?āĀ
āBecause heās interested in you, idiot,ā Niall scrunched his fingers up, a soft, gentle tug at her hair before resuming the careful scratches, āI donāt know if itās in a romantic context or if he just wants to be your friend, but he wants something more than just a rivalry between the two of you. I think that much is clear.āĀ
or
Harry and Y/N are still kind of rivals (not really)
[WARNING: A/O/B dynamics!! If you arenāt into that then this fic might not be for you!]
part 1
(20k+ words)
ii.
It had been a bit different when Y/N helped her friend through his rut.
She remembered the situation clearly; a friend group vacation that finally made it out of the talking stages, scheduled just a week before his rut. Beforehand, heād inquired if she would be okay helping him the very first day if it started early since their other friend ā a different omega ā was already mated. Y/N had agreed to it pretty easily. She didnāt mind helping out, and while she hadnāt seen many alphas in rut before, sheād seen and helped plenty of omegas going through their heat ā the responsibilities of the helper were virtually the same.Ā Ā
It was almost a bit clinical ā Y/N had wondered how something so intimate could be devoid of such intimacy but she had always just assumed it was because they were friends just working off instinct rather than mates. When heād knocked on her hotel room door with a scent potent and heavy in the air, sheād let him in, and let him fuck her hand, between her thighs, the hole created when she pressed her feet together (she teased him for that later on). She remembered her body responding appropriately, and she came too but it felt very. . .platonic. The following morning, Y/N didnāt even think she smelled much like him when she went to get breakfast. And later on, they never even really spoke about it. Hell, Y/N hasnāt even spoken to him after their second year, differing majors making it hard to stay in touch. She barely even thinks about the guy ā forgets that the situation had even occurred.Ā
With Harry, it is very different.Ā
With Harry, itās almost entirely too intimate and she hardly believes that to be her fault. Sheād done this before ā helped someone before ā and it was objectively impersonal with the clear goal of working through his rut. Thereās no clearly defined role in this; Harry wants and Y/N lets him take, but less parasitic and more symbiotic. She spends more than half of the time completely drunk off his scent, swimming and dizzy with it, melting into the nest he so carefully constructed.Ā
At first, the plan had been that Y/N would help him through the night, and then she would go with him to the pharmacy in the morning so he could get a suppressant. But after sheād officially woken up from their first round together, in the nest heād made, leaving the bed seemed like too big a feat. Despite not having many things to use, he made do with what he could, all of their clothes emptied from the suitcases, extra pillows, and blankets he must have called down to the front desk for.Ā Y/N had stirred first, so Harry was still resting beside her ā she plucked one of her shirts from the border of the nest and tugged it over her head, but otherwise made no move to get out of bed.Ā
Still, the jostle in the mattress had woken Harry and he breathed out, a huff before blinking around. A pout was pretty and pink on his mouth ā a little scrape on his lip from his sharpened canine, āYouāre hungry?āĀ
When Y/N checked the time, it was only half past 5 in the morning, so the kitchen downstairs wasnāt open yet. Still, if she said she was hungry and Harry couldnāt provide for her, heād be distressed and a distressed alpha is not the sweetest of smells. She shook her head, though she was feeling a little hungry, she could wait, āNot right now, but I will be soon.āĀ
Harry rolled closer to her, where she sat up, and he nosed at where her hip met her thigh, āWant you again,ā he murmured, āCan I?āĀ
And Y/N wasnāt going to say no. She could have, she knew that, but the pharmacies wouldnāt be opening for a while either. She combed through his hair and clucked her tongue, āGreedy,ā she murmured, āYouāre just a greedy alpha.āĀ
Harry whined, taking the hem of her shirt between his teeth and chewing pitifully at it. He doesnāt deny it and Y/N should be more disgusted about the way he starts to drool but sheās feeling kind of endeared. The only other alphas sheās seen in rut are nothing but fucking machines with no care for what wasnāt purely instinctual. Harry seemed to want more than just instincts ā he wanted to feel doted on and spoken for if the way he pumped his scent out every time she spoke was anything to go by. How he bristled beneath her words, even if she wasnāt praising him, the way he reacted was as if she were speaking sweet nothings into his ear. Lashed with her tongue but cradled by her hands ā burned with her words but pleasantly warmed by her cunt.Ā
āGross puppy,ā she pulled her shirt from his mouth, āArenāt you gāna fuck a knot into me, hm?āĀ
Thatās what pried him from her hip, and how she ended up being mounted by him again. She knew it was a risk to tease him about it, but she trusted him enough. Maybe that was stupid of her but she didnāt care, when he flipped her onto her tummy, pulled her up by her hips, and slid inside of her. Her body was producing slick nonstop, responding to the pheromones that suffocated the room, always prepared for the rutting alpha to sink in. Harry groaned with it, sliding down to the hilt, and she could already feel the swell of his knot.Ā
This time, after he finishes, he cleans her up with his tongue all over her thighs and then licks into her again, while he humps the bed below them and cums that way. They ordered their food, but as they waited, Harry stretched over the top of her protectively.Ā
āYouāre too heavy,ā she grumbled, but Harry barely shifted his weight.Ā
āIāll keep you safe,ā he murmured and lapped her scent gland with an eager tongue, āYou donāt have to worry about anything, Iāll keep you warm, safe, and marked up. Bite your pretty throat so everyone knows you're mine.āĀ
Y/Nās face felt hot when he spoke to her like this not in the throes of passion. Dirty talk is dirty talk when heās pumping himself inside of her, but promising to keep her safe and bred is different outside of that. She knew it was his rut talking, but still, she felt shy at the protectiveness he displayed, mostly because her body was reacting to it so positively, and her brain didnāt mind it either. Her head feels cottony and cloud-like, stripped of her typical derision of alphas demonstrating their typical bravado. Maybe itās because Harry is so unlike that, normally, or perhaps itās because he smells so fucking good, she doesnāt know.Ā
Sheās dizzy with it though, and gets even dizzier when Harry growls lowly at the knock that echoed through their room. They would leave the food right outside if their noses were keen on what was happening behind the closed door, but just in case they hadnāt thought to, Y/N had added a note for it to be left without interaction. Y/N tried to go get the food, because at least she had a shirt on to keep her semi-decent, but Harry grumbled and made her stay in the nest. He pulled on briefs to get their food.Ā
They eat, and by eating, she means that Harry feeds her and then himself. Y/N thinks itās kind of ass backward because she was meant to be taking care of him, but Harry swore up and down that this is taking care of him. Something innate is being satisfied every time he lifts the fork to her mouth or encourages her to drink water. Harry picked a lot of different foods to eat, but only really picked over the fruit, some turkey sausage, and a chocolate chip pancake.Ā
āI could survive off your slick alone for at least 3 days,ā he reasoned, and Y/N snorted.Ā
He has the decency to let her digest before he fucks her again, this time on her side, and this time Y/N reached back and squeezed his knot with her hand, feeling it throb and pulse in her palm, soaking her thighs again. He whimpered through it, his hips fucking into the small channel she created with her fingers as she put pressure on it. Harry bit her shoulder when she asked him what good his knot was if he was only breeding her legs, and he shuddered as he throbbed some more, spitting out more cum from the tip.Ā
Around 10 AM, when he was just slightly more lucid, he pulled his face from her throat where heād been stationed for the better part of an hour, āI. . .the pharmacy, is probably open now,ā he didnāt say it like it was good news; his tone spoke something forlorn and dejected, and his fingers remain buried in her thighs like he couldnāt bare the thought of letting them go, āI should. . .I should let you rest. You need to attend the rest of the convention.āĀ
Y/N blinked at him, her brain still a little hazy. This was her out ā he was giving her one, clear-cut and obvious. Once her friend from before had told her he was okay without her, Y/N went back to her hotel room without complaint, cleaned herself up, and went about the rest of her vacation without a care in the world.
Ā The problem was, for whatever reason, that seemed impossible to do right now.Ā
Y/N doesnāt like Harry ā he pisses her off so much, and every time he speaks in class she wants to duct tape his mouth shut, and if she could private her discussion posts so that he couldnāt see them she would. He makes her so fucking mad she wanted to pull out her hair sometimes. . .but she doesnāt hate him. Thereās a part of Harry that sheās certain was created only to disturb her peace, and there was a part of him that got her scent drunk so that she would be calm for the plane ride. The part of him that complimented her art, even if it was kind of scary, and the part of him that built her a nest to sleep in, called her a good omega, and he has a big huge cock that he knows how to use and smelled so fucking good it made her head spin.Ā
There were plenty of parts to dislike about him, but there were some to like too, she could admit that.Ā
Still, she isnāt sure why she said it. She blamed being stuck in a room with him, feeling soft as candy floss and satiated from multiple orgasms, and the sweet smell of a pleased alpha.Ā
āYou donāt have to go,ā she told him, āAnd I canāt go to the convention smelling like this, so we might as well. . finish it out.āĀ
If Harry had a tail it would be wagging, thumping against the mattress in soft thuds as he perked his head up, āReally?ā He inquired, and when she nodded, he smiled, āIām doing good then if you donāt want to leave.āĀ
āDonāt get too far ahead of yourself,ā she swatted his shoulder with the back of her hand, āYouāre a cockblock, this is the least you could have done to make it up to me.āĀ
Harry didnāt care what she was saying, nosing at her jaw, down to the throat, over her shoulder where heād bitten and sucked a pretty severe lovebite. He scraped his teeth over it then giggled when she swore, a moan caught in her throat, āIāll take care of you,ā he said it like a promise, something sacred, āIāll make you cum again, and again, Iāll make you squirt so much on my tongue, I bet you can. I bet you look so pretty doing it.āĀ
With a new objective insight, Harry continued. She suspected that heād been holding back a little before because now that he knew she was doing this because she wanted to (not that she would ever admit that out loud), he was a little more intense. More marking, filthy promises, and sultry moans. More begging, biting, and squeezing. At some point, he eats her out for so long that after heād made her cum for the umpteenth time, heād fallen asleep on her thigh. His cheek pressed to the flesh, smushed and soft looking. Y/N pet through his hair in a way that someone could describe as fond, but she would describe it as keeping him asleep so that she could take a fucking break. She was tired, seriously, and he was so focused on making her cum that she was barely getting any time to relax. It made sense ā it was his first official day, so his stamina would be ridiculous ā but god, she was only one woman. To completely satiate him, she thinks he would need like ten or so omegas in constant rotation.Ā
āNo,ā he grumbled when sheād muttered this to herself, peeking his eye open momentarily, āOnly need you.āĀ
Itās all rut talk, she knew that, but her heart still does something weird in her chest that sheād rather ignore.Ā
In these quiet moments, the few sheād been allotted since they started, Y/N shut her brain off. It was a prime opportunity to just exist at the moment, let herself be fucked silly and pampered by an alpha that she usually wanted to shut up most of the time. The benefit here, is if she wants him to be quiet, all she has to do is shove her lips to his mouth or hover her pussy over his face and heās muffled for a while ā both things she could not do in a lecture hall full of people. So she soaks it up while she can.Ā
That brief, quiet moment she received as he slept on her thigh was snuffed out as soon as he aroused from sleep, sniffing ā when he opened his eyes and realized he was still this close to her, he wasted no time in pressing his mouth back to her slit.Ā
Y/N gasped, thighs twitching, fingers curling up tight in his hair. She wondered how she even had any more slick left in her.Ā
āNeed more,ā he murmured to her, āNeed it, baby, give it to me.āĀ
And how could she say no to that?Ā
Harry had become an expert in her body in the mere 15-ish hours sheād been helping him with his rut. He knew exactly where to touch, where to squeeze, where to lick to make her leak more slick onto his tongue. She thinks that maybe Harry really could survive off just her slick alone because he doesnāt seem concerned with eating at all, though she knew his body needed the extra calories he was burning off by marathon fucking her.Ā
Thatās why, after heād fucked between her thighs and was throbbing and leaking cum all over them, nuzzling at her nape, she had to grab his attention before he was either asleep or pulled into another rut-driven haze. Y/Nās proud that she was even able to string a coherent thought together ā she so desperately needed to shower and sleep for like, at least 24 hours, but she thinks that was hardly likely. His lucidity was waning by the hour, and the deeper into the evening they got, the deeper Harry got into his rut, which meant he was a livewire. Heād keep going until his body forced him to rest, so Y/N had to keep up with it.Ā
But to keep up with it, she needed energy. If circumstances had been better, then they would have snacks they could eat off and a refrigerator full of fruits and veggies that they could pluck from in the brief instances Harry doesnāt want to fuck his load into her. For now, all she could do was order enough takeout that it could be reheated and bite down on the price of the a la carte snack items on the hotelās room service menu (she was contemplating sending Harry a payment request once this was all said and done).Ā
Itās nonstop ā the only thing that can get him to settle enough for her to take care of both his and her fundamental needs is if she says it directly. Makes him look into her eyes, practically scruffs him at the nape of his neck, and tells him that they need to eat, or they need to shower, or they need to sleep. And, she will credit him, Harry down to his marrow is an alpha that so deeply cared for his omegaās needs. If her eyelids were heavy, he could stave off the mushrooming want engulfing him so that she could nap (at least for 30 minutes, then sheās pried out of it by low whining and Harry rutting against a pillow, or her thigh).Ā
When she all but demanded they take a shower, Harry gathered her up (because her legs were useless and sore after all the positions heād been contorting her into) and walked her to the bathroom. As if made for situations specifically like this, there was a small, rectangle addition to the wall that acted like a bench. Harry laid a towel over it and sat her down, before getting the water ready. This was the first time Y/N had seen herself in such fluorescent lighting since theyād started, and she grimaced slightly ā covered head-to-toe in darkening marks and little indents of his teeth. It looked like heād been mauling her, and she knew there was zero chance these left before she returned home. She was already going to have to explain the heavy scent of rut on her, but now she really couldnāt deny any involvement.Ā
Harry washes her thoroughly and tenderly and only gets distracted by cunt once but she flicked him in the forehead when he tried sinking to his knees in front of her and he pouted his mouth but listened. After the shower, she felt more human, and Harry switched out some of the towels that were making up the base of the nest so that they werenāt stretching out over the saturated filthy ones. The sun was sitting lower in the sky ā not exactly evening, but Y/Nās stomach rumbled because she was fucking starving. Orgasm after incredible orgasm could really take it out of you, and still, Harry nosed her neck like he was ready to give her more.Ā
āWe need dinner,ā she murmured. Despite herself, she still combed her fingers through his wet hair (he washed himself too, and had even sat and let Y/N shampoo his hair for him ā he let the conditioner sit in his hair for two minutes before he got impatient and started hyper fixating on fixing the nest, so he washed it out early but it was still soft), āHm? We need to eat and I have a surprise coming in the mail, yeah? Had it same-day delivered since your poor knot hasnāt been squeezed how it should be.āĀ
He huffed a breath through his nose, then nestled into her chest, āYouāre so good,ā he murmured, his teeth teasing the swell of her breast, āSuch a good mate, need to breed you.āĀ
Y/N chuckled a bit, āYeah, yeah, I know,ā she continued to thread through his hair, actually enjoying the heavy presence of him stretched out across her. This is. . weird, to feel so comfortable with him. Not even a full week ago she would rather tweeze every single nose hair from her nares rather than spend more than a couple minutes with him at a time, and now sheās his active rut partner. Feeling safe and soft in a nest that he made for them, pinned beneath his weight, encouraging him to melt against her and try to sleep for a little while.Ā
How Y/N had found time to purchase anything on her phone with Harry constantly gnawing and licking her, she couldnāt tell you ā but somewhere in all of this, a seed of guilt had been planted in her brain. Harry had been so good for her this entire time, so worried about her and tending to her as if she were actually his omega, and he hadnāt even knotted her yet. An alpha didnāt need to knot someone during their rut, but there was a fair amount of discomfort when they couldnāt, even if Y/N was letting him knot between her thighs or squeezing it in her hand. Since not everyone can have a partner for their rut, they typically use a fleshlight capable of stretching the width of it.Ā
So she bought one, and she had to leave Harry while he was sleeping after dinner to go pick it up from the desk. She tried to make herself smell a little less like sheād been marathon fucking for the past day, but she doesnāt know how successful she is. The sweatpants and hoodie at least cover most of the marks Harry had sucked and bit into her skin, and if the front desk notices anything, theyāre thankfully subtle about it. Sheās sent off with a gentle smile and discreet packaging.Ā
Once Y/N returned, she found Harry frowning in the nest, āWhy did you leave?ā He was noticeably peeved, pouting his bottom lip, āItās not safe to leave smelling like that.āĀ
āSmelling like an alpha just came on me an hour ago?ā She kicked her shoes off and started tearing into the tape keeping the package closed, āIs that how you thank someone who just went to get you a gift?āĀ
His furrowed brow softens, replaced with curiosity ā he mustāve forgotten sheād said she ordered something for him. When she peeled the tape up and got rid of the wrapping, the second, smaller box inside of it had a photo of the fleshlight on it. Harryās eyes widened, flickering from her to the toy, āWhatās ā why?āĀ
āSo you can knot something,ā she answered, shucking the sweatpants off but keeping the hoodie on (they had the air conditioner very cold to offset the heat in Harryās body, but Y/Nās been covered in goosebumps for hours because of it), āObviously. Have you never been in rut before?āĀ
Harry frowned, sliding his hands around her waist and tugging her closer to him, still stark naked and his cock growing heavy between them. Y/N wondered if it was her scent alone that did it. āDonāt need that,ā he grumbled, āYouāre enough for me, donāt need. . .I donāt need some silly toy.āĀ
She snorted, despite the warm glow bubbling in her chest, āWhat a sweet alpha you are,ā she replied condescendingly, though she does let herself be manhandled by him, letting him scent her neck again, āBut you do, so donāt be a brat. Itāll feel good, hm?ā Y/N tilted her head, feeling how he gets distracted by pushing kisses to her throat instead, āIāll hold it.āĀ
The convincing needed is minimal, and when she holds the shaft of the fleshlight between her thighs, Harry fucks into it hard and fast, moaning and whining. His fingers dig into her hips, and his face is contorted with pleasure as he groaned, āGāna cum,ā loud and desperate, āGāna cum, gāna knot it this fucking ā this toyās tight.āĀ
Y/N is horrified when she feels herself pouting like it hadnāt been her idea to begin with. It had started as a little tickle in her chest, that had only grown bigger and bigger the more Harry moaned like the toy was the best thing heād ever felt. She blamed the omega inside of her, the sudden feeling of inadequacy that he needed a toy instead of her to knot. She was also trying to find a way to blame the omega inside of her when she felt jealous of the toy that she fucking bought!Ā
Harry, even in his frenzied fucking, notices her frown and he laughed, chuckled warm and low as he leaned in and smeared their lips together, keeping himself propped up with one hand, āWish it was you,ā he whispered after nibbling at her puffy bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, āFuck, wish I could ā wish I could fill you up, hm? Make you mine inside and out.ā He rubs the tips of their noses together, sighing, āThis is good though, youāre so good, best ā the best omega, arenāt you? Youāre so good for me ā so fucking sweet.āĀ
It does make her feel a little better. She isnāt sure why, but sheās decided to save all the questioning and confusion for after this was all over. Instead, she grumbles something like, āDonāt even know if you could knot me right, anyway,ā and Harry knots the toy, curls his fingers into her hips just a little harder, and then flopped to the side. He would be locked with the toy for a while and she found out rather quickly Harry liked to lay on his side, curled around her like a koala. He carefully maneuvered so he looped his leg around hers and reached his arm across her body, wrapping it around her and pulling her tight. He was slowly catching his breath while Y/N ignored the trickles of arousal that had started to build inside of her (Harry would probably be ready to go in like twenty minutes anyway because he has zero refractory period, so she wasnāt worried about not cumming soon).Ā
āThank you,ā Harry murmured, momentarily lucid though the way he snuggled his nose into her throat she knew he was planning on getting scent drunk once more, āFor everything, I honestly ā I canāt even put into words how grateful I am. I donāt know how Iāll make it up to you either.āĀ
Y/Nās fingers find his hair again, lips twitching when he practically purrs as she scratches his scalp. She wondered what she could ask for. For him to drop the fact that she does art? For him to never answer one of her discussion posts again? To stop being so smart and well-versed in art so that she had a leg up in the internship.Ā
āDonāt worry about that,ā she replied instead.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
Being home was weird.Ā
If you had asked Y/N in the thick of it, she might have told you that the hotel room was her new home, shacked up in the nest with Harry. A full day in a half of being twisted and maneuvered in different positions, cum on, bitten, and suckled at ā like, Y/N had never cum so much (or been cum on so much) in a place that wasnāt her bedroom. To open the windows, stuff the sheets and blankets into bags (because she could not, in good faith, let someone else clean up what they had done to that bedding), pack up their bags, and tidy the room ā it felt weird. She made Harry sit on the one-seater chair and rest because the exhaustion had finally hit him.Ā
His rut wasnāt done necessarily, but the worst of it was over, and they needed to catch their flight back. Harry was much more lucid, especially since heād been able to knot the toy a few times ā it had tricked his body at some capacity, feeling the fake skin squeeze around it, the cum soaking around the head. She isnāt sure how it works but sheād accepted it, and her poor pussy was thankful for that too. Harry would be pouty, muttering how he didnāt need a toy to feel good because Y/N was perfect for him, but then heād sink inside of it and he couldnāt think anymore.Ā
āIām sorry,ā Harry had murmured, watching her busy cleaning the room.Ā
āDonāt apologize,ā she waved him off, stuffing a slick and cum covered sheet into a bag, āWe should really be writing an apology letter to the housekeeper for this mess, Iām barely doing anything.āĀ
He shook his head, fingers twitching in his lap, āNot about that ā I mean, I feel sorry for that, sure but. . .but youāre scared,ā he reminded her, āOf the flight ā I was able to help last time with my scent, but now I canāt.āĀ
Y/N does pause at that, looking over to where he sits, motioning at his throat, and seeming legitimately distressed. She was confused for a second, until she remembered that they had slapped scent blockers on him ā something that wasnāt particularly required, but was common courtesy if you still smelled like rut or heat but needed to be out in public. Surprisingly enough, Y/N hadnāt even thought about the plane ride, or how worried sheād been before it ā so much had happened since then, her mind was more preoccupied with other things than being thousands of meters in the sky.Ā
The thing was, she wasnāt sure if this was Harry being driven by his instincts or Harry being Harry. It was normal for an alpha to want an omega to feel safe and calm, and a surefire way to do that is with their scent. When thatās taken away, it can be a little stressful ā not typically enough to cause the amount of distress Harry looked to be in, but hormonally it checked out. However, part of her feels that he still would be just as upset if he werenāt still rut-hazy.Ā
āSāokay,ā she reassured him, then motioned over her entire body, āIām not certain there isnāt an article of clothing I have right now that doesnāt smell like you. If I get scared, Iāll just dip my nose into it.āĀ
That seemed to satiate him well enough.Ā
The flight wasnāt bad ā Harry was still pressing his body close to her, but she didnāt chastise him for it. Still exhausted from the last couple of days, he moved his nose to her throat and slept for most of the ride and Y/N just let it happen. For whatever reason, it felt like they were still tucked away in their little bubble. She blamed being softened by pheromones and the replaying image of Harry cumming in her mind, for this lenient, tender version of herself.Ā
Leaving to go to separate cars feels weird. Driving home still smelling like him is weird. Going to her room (thankfully the house was empty, so she wasnāt accosted by any questioning noses apart from Cobbler and Ducky greeting her) and not visualizing a nest, or a ravenous alpha in the center of it ā is weird. To be alone even, was just. . .weird. Y/N didnāt know how to feel about it, this odd hole that circled her center. There was a sliver of guilt that rested in her belly too, knowing that she hadnāt helped Harry through his entire rut. She got him through the brunt of it, but there were still a couple of days to go. He could knot his toy all he wanted, but there would be nobody there to make sure he was eating, or sleeping, or to card their fingers through his hair and degrade him to make him shiver.Ā
Reasonably, Y/N knew she had no basis to be feeling guilty. Harry wasnāt her alpha, he was barely her friend, but that still doesnāt erase it. Enough that once sheās showered, her clothes are in the washer, and sheās snuggled in her bed with the plan to nap, she asked Harry for his address. He sent it ten minutes later, and Y/N worked quickly to order him food. Harry had done such a poor job making sure he ate that she had no hope for him to be doing it alone, especially when he said Christopher (his roommate) wouldnāt be home until later that night. She didnāt know how well his roommate would even take care of him in the first place if he knew what to do, how to satiate the whiny alpha that he was. For a hot second, she wondered if she should just show up and help him finish out, but then she talked herself out of it. That would be crazy, seriously ā she wasnāt responsible for him.Ā
Still, she sends him food, and he messages her as soon as Y/N receives the notification that it was delivered.Ā
Is this from you?Ā
Thank you so much
For everything ā everything you did, I could never repay you
Thank youĀ
I miss you
Miss how you smell, how you sucked me in, how good you felt. . .i canāt stop thinking about youĀ
Was that weird? Sorry :((
Thank you for the food
And for the hoodie you scented for me
Y/N chewed on her bottom lip, the guilt welting up bigger, but she told her omega to shut the hell up.Ā
Itās not weird I kind of miss it too
You donāt have to thank me for anything. I hope the food is good, let me know if you need anything.Ā
She tilted her face into her pillow and groaned, loud and annoyed.Ā
It was easier when she just disliked him wholeheartedly. When the only thought of him that pervaded her was how desperately she wanted to surpass him in every way possible. She isnāt used to wanting, just as desperately, to make sure heās okay.Ā
She isnāt sure what to do.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
āI could tell you right now, this isnāt the way to go about this.āĀ
Adam regarded her disapprovingly across the table. All of her roommates had sweetly planned to have lunch together when she came back from her trip so that they could discuss the conference, all the things she saw, and the people she met. Astrid would be able to chew over all of it with her while Adam and Niall nodded along and pretended to understand and care that she attended Hans Obrichās panel. It wouldnāt all be about her though, or her trip ā theyād start with that, maybe, but she would find out what happened while she was out of the house, because plenty could occur in the five days she was on her trip. What sheād done with Harry was proof of that alone.Ā
Talking about their time apart had been the plan, sure, but Y/N had come home with a very potent, differing scent than she normally had. And considering what theyād known of her relationship with Harry, this was a bewildering change. Y/N had narrowly avoided being interrogated when she first came home, but she promised to come clean during their lunch together. Niall was the only one to whine about having to wait a couple of days before he received all the details (nothing shocking there), and though he whined and bleated about it for fifteen seconds, he managed.Ā
Still, as soon as she sat down, not even Adam pretends to be patient.Ā
Y/N goes through all of it, from her being scent-drunk on the plane ride, to waking up in their shared bed with Harry humping a pillow and moaning pitifully. She ā at Niallās request ā goes into as much detail as she can about the experience without exposing Harryās business too much, her face hot as she relives it. They gasp, they inquire about positioning, they lower their voices to ask about the size of his prick, and they discuss how much he mustāve been scenting her for her to still smell a bit like him after nearly a week. By the time sheās finished, sheās out of breath and the food is being placed in front of them, the waiter smiling gently like he hadnāt just heard her say heād cum on every body part of hers a couple of times.Ā
āHoly fuck,ā Astrid held her sandwich in her right hand, a tomato threatening to slide out from between the bread, āI ā honestly, Iād been more worried that you were going to kill him when you messaged that you had to share a room.āĀ
āFor the record, I thought you guys were definitely going to fuck considering the circumstances,ā Niall piped in, spearing a piece of grilled chicken with his fork, āThe sexual tension must have been thick enough to slice through.āĀ
Y/N dresses her veggie patty with ketchup, a small shake of her head, āThatās the thing, it was just. . .normal, before any of that. We were just existing together, and sharing a room had been tolerable enough for me to not dread going back to it by the end of the day. There were no lingering gazes or accidental touches, and we didnāt even encroach on each otherās space in bed.ā Her brows dipped, āEverything was fine until he just started his rut out of nowhere.āĀ
Adam hums thoughtfully, āWell, it wasnāt out of nowhere necessarily. Whatād he keep saying? You smelled really good?ā She frowned, nodding, āIt isnāt uncommon for an alpha to be shoved into their rut when theyāre in close quarters with an omega, yāknow?āĀ
āIāve shared rooms with alphas before though, and none of them blamed me for starting their rut!ā She argued, āHell, none of them even started their rut.āĀ
āThatās ācos you probably havenāt roomed with any alphas that had a crush on you,ā Astrid noted, āUsually when youāre spending the night in their room, itās ācos you fucked them, right? You havenāt just spent the night with one.āĀ
She scoffed, āHarry does not have a crush on me.āĀ
āThatās the only way it would make sense though,ā Niall pursed his lips around his straw, hissing when the carbonation of his soda hit his throat, āI mean, Iām of the belief that heās always bothering you in class because heās obsessed with you. Every story you tell about him, it never seems like he has malicious intent.ā He shrugged, āHonestly, he just gives off vibes like heās an awkward alpha who is really smart, bad at his job, and doesnāt know how to express his interest.āĀ
A groan leaves her, and she slouches into the booth, melting into Astridās side who clicks her tongue and uses her non-sandwich hand to rub her back, āNone of this makes sense, though.āĀ
āDo you regret it?ā Adam inquired.Ā
It gives Y/N pause ā did she regret it? No, she doesnāt think so. At the end of the day, if she hadnāt wanted to do it then she wouldnāt have, and Harry would have been just fine with that. She knew he wouldnāt have pushed her, and he had been ready to ride through his rut chemically whether that be at the hospital or through the pharmacist's recommendation, but Y/N had offered her help. And it wasnāt bad. The sex, arguably, had been some of the best sheād ever had and had placated the intense need to be fucked that had been plaguing her for months. Plus, it wasnāt like Harry was ugly ā he was easy on the eyes, and when it didnāt involve art, he wasnāt the most annoying alpha in the world. Heād been tender with her when it counted, had stroked her desire to be praised, and huffed her scent like he could get high from it.Ā
At the end of it, despite the confusion, Y/N had felt good. Better than she had in a very long time.Ā
āNo,ā she conceded, āI donāt. I just ā Iām unsure what to make of it all now. It was much easier in the midst of it.āĀ
āHave you spoken to each other since?āĀ
āThey havenāt,ā Astrid answered for her, āActually, heās messaged her a few times and she keeps ignoring him.āĀ
Y/N narrowed her eyes, āWhat the hell? Whoās side are you on?āĀ
āI could tell you right now, this isnāt the way to go about this,ā Adam grabs a napkin and hands it to Niall, who has sauce dripping down his chin, āItās going to be weird if you donāt talk.āĀ
āItās already weird,ā Y/N faltered, plucking at her nails, her burger forgotten in the basket in front of her while Astrid stole one of her fries, āI donāt even know what to say to him. I mean, I kind of just thought we would pretend that nothing happened after he said thank you. I donāt have in-depth discussions with any of my other one-night stands.āĀ
āYour other one-night stands donāt leave you looking like a chew toy,ā they all look pointedly at her neck, where a mark had finally begun to fade just above the hollow of her throat, āI mean, maybe he was just a particularly needy alpha, but I feel like this isnāt something that should be swept under the rug. What if you guys could start something from this, hm? You might be a better match than you think.āĀ
Y/N rolled her eyes, āThereās no fucking way.āĀ
Because there isnāt any way, is how she sees it. Sure, theyāre sexually compatible ā Y/N has been sexually compatible with a lot of fucking idiots, pricks, and knot-headed alphas, but that didnāt mean anything. There was no running off into the sunset, no long walks in the park holding hands, no writing sonnets about the color of each otherās eyes in the mornings, and no scenting clothes before they left the house so they could tilt their face into it and feel comfort even when they were apart. It was just sex. All Y/N has ever had is just sex ā a means to feel good and get off. She couldnāt even remember her last relationship, and she was unsure if she could even call it that when they just fucked for a couple of months and maybe went out on a date or two in between.Ā
But, as it is with all things, it's easiest to blame Harry. Heās an affectionate lover, that couldnāt have been more clear unless it slapped her in the face. Y/N had not been with many people who were so caring and attentive in bed, so itās no surprise that her brain and body were confused, overwhelmed, and slightly distressed. Not that there was anything wrong with it ā it was so nice, maybe too nice, to feel doted on in such a way. Something that Y/N knew she couldnāt allow herself to get used to, because, at the end of the day, Harry was acting off instinct. Whether it had been her, or Astrid, or Adam, or honestly, maybe even Niall ā Harry was doing what his body dictated. She wasnāt going to delude herself into thinking that she was more special to him than a willing omega and a soft, wet hole.
Thatās all sheād been for anyone else, to be honest, she knew that. She was fine with that too.Ā
āListen, itās fine,ā she sits up straighter, reaching for her burger, āNothing has to change at all, actually. Heās still just my annoying classmate and a prick who thinks he knows more than me. Iāll answer his messages so weāre on the same page, yeah?āĀ
Niall sighed, āWhatever you say, Babe,ā he shrugged his shoulders, āBut guys that give good head are like ā few and far in between nowadays, I would say you need to hold onto him.āĀ
āHeās not lying.ā Astrid agreed. Y/N waits for Adam to protest and scold them both for thinking about their sex drives and not their brains, but when she looks toward him, she only sees heās nodding to concur.
God, what a mess.Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
It turned out that Y/N had been dramatically ignoring Harryās messages. As embarrassing as it was to admit, part of her had been worried that she would open the thread to find Harry talking about what they had done together. Whether it was to confirm her roommate's beliefs that it meant more to him than just sex or if it was to confirm her beliefs that she was just a convenient hole for him and to not get the wrong idea. One would sting more than the other (she doesnāt think she needs to specify which one), but it turned out she didnāt need to worry about it at all.Ā
I accidentally took your hoodie home.
Washed it for you!
I can bring it to you! Or, if you arenāt comfortable with me having your address I can just bring it with me to class.Ā
And then, when Y/N hadnāt answered, heād added, Iāll just bring it with me to class. See you Monday!Ā
She felt bad for ignoring him. Worse than that, she felt stupid and slightly humiliated that she hadnāt responded to him when itād been something so normal. Y/N was quick to message him, apologizing for not answering him before under the guise of resting up and being kind of busy (both lies, sheād slept very little and all she had to accomplish was a small paper outlining one of the panels sheād attended ā the only requirement she and Harry had since they were unable to take the exam they both missed while attending the conference). None the wiser, Harry replied with no problem!!! very promptly, and Y/N wondered if the area on his screen where the exclamation point rested on the keypad was slightly more worn than the rest of the glass.Ā
Y/N spent the remainder of her weekend pretending not to care about anything that happened the previous week. She tidied her room and finished putting away the clothes sheād washed (since most of them had been covered in cum and sweat and alpha, they were in critical need of at least two cycles in her washing machine. She wrote the little paper requested of her and ate plenty of filling meals to replenish the two days sheād spent eating like a bird while trying to pacify a rutting alpha. All while doing her best not to replay the events of her conference, past leaving the last workshop she attended, questioning why Harry had been tired enough to skip the rest of the evening.Ā
Sunday night, she decided to take a bath, but before she submerged herself in the bubbly water, she stood in front of the mirror. Her hair was pulled into a bun at the top of her head, and her underwear had holes around the waistband, but those werenāt what she was paying attention to. Her focus was fixated on all of the fading marks Harry had left on her; her shoulders, her breasts, the sides of her hips, just beneath her belly button, around her thighs. Y/N remembered that Harry had not left even a millimeter of her skin uncovered by his mouth. He was insistent on sponging his lips anywhere that had been presented to him.Ā
It shows. The night right after, Y/N looked like sheād fought with a bear with all the bruises and teeth marks sheād been covered in. Now the vibrance of them had dulled to muted purple hues; they barely made her jump when she pressed the pad of her thumb anymore. Absently, she wondered if Harry was always so bitey when he was fucking someone, or if it was just his rut (or if it was just with her). Then she took a moment to regret not leaving more marks on him ā she was a bitey thing usually. She loved to sink her teeth into people, and she thinks Harry might have appreciated it the most out of anyone. Honestly, it might have been enough to make him cum, just from the dig of her teeth into his flesh. But that doesnāt matter, does it?Ā
On Monday, Harry met her outside of the lecture hall, her hoodie in hand and a smile on his face, āI hope you donāt mind my detergent,ā he had folded it neatly and taped a Snickers on top of it, āThank you, again.āĀ
Y/N nodded and mustered a smile that she was almost positive didnāt reach her eyes, āDonāt mention it.āĀ
āAre you busy after āāĀ
She wasnāt sure what he was going to ask, because sheād dipped away immediately. Y/N isnāt sure why ā she didnāt like the way her heart sped up in her chest at the sight of him so she scurried off. Y/N is used to her body reacting to him with pure rage and unadulterated anger, but it doesnāt feel like that. It felt. . .different. It felt like maybe Y/N had noticed that his hair was freshly washed and looked as fluffy as it did at the hotel when he was done drying it. It felt like she noted the pair of jeans he wore hugged his thighs in a way that made them look particularly muscled and biteable. It felt like his dimples made her feel something other than irritation, certain that they were placed on his cheeks as a luring tactic for unsuspecting prey so he could outsmart them in a game of āwhat was the artist thinking when they shaded this face?āĀ
It should be relatively easy to avoid Harry. He wasnāt in her social circle, they didnāt sit close to one another in the lecture hall, he had no idea where she lived, she didnāt go to the cafe he works in, and she could always beg Niall to switch her out if she suspected he would show up at the cat cafe she worked. Y/N had forgotten that they really didnāt see much of each other before the conference, and the only reason they saw more of each other was because they were forced to sleep in the same room. So, idly, nothing had to change in her day-to-day life. It should be insanely easy to accomplish.Ā
It should be, but it isnāt, because suddenly Harry and Astrid bumped into each other at an art show Y/N couldnāt attend due to her work schedule, and hit it off surprisingly well. Enough so that he came to chat with her before their lecture the day after, attempting to pull Y/N into the conversation while she overtly disregarded the attempts (suddenly very interested in her laptop settings ā Astrid rolled her eyes at her when she called her out for it later, and Y/N pretended not to know what she was talking about). It isnāt, because Harry comes to the cat cafe often, playing with Cow and the other kitties there while Y/N is resigned to litter duty, and Niall is chatting Harry up about music like their old pals. It isnāt, because honestly, she thinks if he meets Adam somehow, in some way, Adam would invite him over to the house and show off his garden because they both have tulips planted (you learn a lot about someone when youāre keeping your thighs locked around their knot) and she knew Adam would want to show off the rest of his plants.Ā
It isnāt, because Harry tries to talk to her, and has the nerve to look like a kicked puppy when sheās short with him. The soft, sad look in his eyes haunts her when she pivots on her heel to return to her seat, dodge him on campus, or look away from him without acknowledgment if their eyes lock. Y/N doesnāt know what his problem was ā this is how it was before, wasnāt it? Y/N used to pretend he didnāt exist all of the time.Ā
Though she hated to admit it, Harry is a smart alpha. He realized in only a few days ā perhaps a little closer to a week ā that Y/N was standing firm in how she treated him.Ā
āDid I do something to upset you?ā Harry inquired, catching her as she was walking out of class. Astrid had left early that day to make a doctorās appointment, but with how buddy-buddy the two of them had been recently, Y/N wondered if that had been a ploy to get them alone for a second. He was waiting for her right outside the door and called her name loud enough that she couldnāt pretend to ignore it.Ā
Y/N tilted her head because she thinks sheās good at playing dumb, āHm? Why would you think that?āĀ
āBecause youāve been avoiding me,ā he speculated, one hand hanging at his side while the other gripped a thermos tightly ā his face is a little pale today, and there are gentle bags beneath his eyes. It looked like he hadnāt slept well the night before and Y/N hated that she even noticed it, āEver since we got back.āĀ
āNo I havenāt,ā she countered, curling her arms tighter around the art history book sheād been lugging around taking notes from in her free time on campus, āIām interacting with you more than I ever had before we went on the trip.ā That isnāt a lie ā Y/N had sat and really thought about it, and the only exchanges they used to have were very heated ones in informal class debates, or on discussion board posts. If Y/N was paying attention to him, it was to scowl at him and that was it. There was nothing more to it.Ā
Harry didnāt seem satisfied with this revelation, āYeah, before the trip, but I just thought ā I mean, we did so much together, I just thought that maybe āāĀ
āListen, I helped you because you needed help,ā she brushed him off, taking a step away from him because her heart his beating so fast she thought it might burst from her chest xenomorph-style and she was a little dizzy, smelling him this up close again. āThat was all there was to it, right? It was just sex, we donāt need to suddenly change any dynamic because of that.āĀ
He puffed out a sharp breath, āYou did change it though. You arenāt correcting me in class, and you barely even fight me back on discussion posts anymore. You never miss a chance to parlay with me, so something is different.ā His accusation heād clearly been thinking about, because he didnāt stutter as he relayed it to her through a frowned mouth, āDo you regret helping me?āĀ
āWhat?ā Her brows pinch, āNo āāĀ
āThen what changed?āĀ
āHarry just leave it āāĀ
āBecause something is different, I know it is, so donāt try and act like Iām stupid āāĀ
āJust fucking leave it!ā She exasperated, loud enough to garner attention, but she was self-aware enough to lower her voice afterward, wondering why the hell he decided outside the lecture hall was a good place for this āGod, what the hell did you think was going to happen? Thought that I was going to start fawning over you just because I saw your dick?ā His face gets rosy almost instantly, and Y/N feels bad but she canāt stop, as she takes a step closer and lowers her voice a little more, āWell, Iām not going to, alright? We werenāt friends before we left and weāre not going to be friends now, so fuck off.āĀ
It was unnecessary, she knew that, and she felt awful about it. The seedling of guilt had developed into an entire plant, flourishing wildly, tangling in her organs and dragging her down. She doesnāt know why her reaction was so big, or why she was so mean, but she couldnāt take it back now, could she? None of it made sense, Y/Nās emotions felt like cut wires sparking, flopping around like snakes, and zapping any passerby. It was shitty ā how she spoke to him was shitty, her attitude was shitty, her whole outlook on the situation was shitty. He just wanted to know what was wrong, why sheād changed. . .he was so good he probably wanted to know what heād done to upset her.Ā
Y/N just. . .doesnāt know. Alphas ā alpha men, especially ā are never this fucking nice and are certainly never this nice to her. So how was she supposed to believe wholeheartedly that he was genuine? Because heād fucked her the way he had? That didnāt mean anything. It was just sex. She was just an omega. She was just a hole, filthy and wet ā how many times had she been told that? So many times that it must be true. Truer than Harryās sweet whispers in her ear about how pretty she was on him, or how beautiful she sounded, or how good of an omega she was.Ā
Tears beaded her waterline as she stormed all the way home. She was going to go to the library and study but she doesnāt want to now, she just wants to crawl under her sheets and pretend that none of that happened. That she could erase the dejected look in his eyes from her memory.Ā
Sheād hoped to be alone once she got home, but Niall was scratching his belly and ambling into the living room just as soon as her door slammed shut behind her. And as much as Y/N wishes she could dramatically storm to her room and wallow in her theatrics, seeing the beta makes her eyes water more. The next thing she knew, she was being cradled by Niall, a pillow set on his lap while he carded his fingers through her hair. He let her cry, let her explain what had happened, listened, and hummed thoughtfully, then clicked his tongue when she brought up how sheād snapped at him.Ā
āI donāt know why Iām so. . .'ahhhhā ā about it, you know? I donāt get what Iām feeling at all,ā she sighed, her face feeling raw and wet, cheeks sticky against the pillow, āSex has never ā like. . changed anything for me before? Sex has always just been sex, but I canāt stop thinking about how he was with me. He was so soft and tender and he was hand feeding me for fuck sake, in a nest that he built for us, and like. . .Iād never felt so well and truly taken care of. I donāt know why my knee-jerk response is to react so poorly to it after the fact,ā she sniffled, her fingers scrunching into the throw pillow, āIt was just easier when we hated each other, I think.āĀ
Niallās fingers never pause how they comb through her hair, scratching at her scalp with blunt nails, āI reckon the hate was never mutual, Pet,ā he gets like this when one of them is sad ā heās always been good at that. Y/N hates stereotypes but she could admit that omegas could get emotional quickly and theyāre always amped up to a hundred. The beta was ā for as chaotic as he could be ā a very calming presence when needed, āYou didnāt like him, but has he ever said that he didnāt like you?āĀ
Y/N is quiet for a moment before replying, āI guess he never explicitly said that,ā she sniffled again, mad at herself for making her nose all stuffy, āBut it was just the feeling I got. Heās always such a dick in class.āĀ
āI donāt know shit about art history, Babe, you know that, but I reckon a graduate course is pretty difficult is it not?ā She nodded, unsure where he was going with this, āAnd you two are top in the class. I donāt know about you, but when I find someone interested in mixing music the way I am, itās fun to go back and forth with them about different things. What sounds good, what doesnāt, tell them the techno beat they added to the background of one song was shit, while they say the distortion on my bridge is boring and unoriginal.ā
She gasped, turning her head to look at him, āWho is saying that to you?āĀ
He chuckled, āIt stings at first, sure, when someone is questioning you but have you ever thought it wasnāt because he was questioning your intelligence? Like, have you considered that he might just want the both of you to get better at what you do? You canāt do that if thereās nobody there to check you and make you think.ā Y/N hadnāt considered it like that. Honestly, at the risk of sounding pathetic, sheās so used to people diminishing her thoughts and ideas that sheād only assumed Harry had joined the list.Ā Ā
He pads over her eyebrow, āNot to mention you two spent a very intimate moment together, you know? Imagine if someone suddenly started avoiding you after they helped you through your heat. I mean, he barely acts like one, but Harry is an alpha, yeah? Hormonally he must be all fucked too, with how things are going. He might just want to be around you.ā
Y/N pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes ā she didnāt need to imagine it, because someone had done that to her, and it felt horrible. To think that she was doing the same thing to Harry makes her insides burn awfully.Ā
āPlus, he speaks highly of you ā at least he did when he was playing with Cow ā had even asked if Iāve seen your art before, and wondered how I could convince you to show it to him.āĀ
She grumbled, āUgh, why does he want to see it so badly?āĀ
āBecause heās interested in you, idiot,ā Niall scrunched his fingers up, a soft, gentle tug at her hair before resuming the careful scratches, āI donāt know if itās in a romantic context or if he just wants to be your friend, but he wants something more than just a rivalry between the two of you. I think that much is clear.āĀ
Y/N sighed, heavy and loud, the sound melting into a groan because she was frustrated and upset, and ā āSince when are you the voice of reason? Arenāt you supposed to let me be bitter and crazy this summer?āĀ
He breathed out a laugh, āOnly if it doesnāt make you cry,ā he murmured, āRemember to tell Adam how good I did though, heāll be proud.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
Y/N is embarrassed for lashing out, along with how shitty she had been to him the entire semester, so she doesnāt go to him right away. The rest of the week goes by in radio silence, and with every notification on her phone, she almost expects (hopes) it to be Harry, asking if they could talk it out. Part of her is delighted that he listened to her when she clearly didnāt want to interact, because at least heās not pushy and weird about it, but part of her is kind of disgruntled. It would be much easier if he reached out to her first so that she could apologize.Ā
She thought he might just be content ignoring her the last two classes of the semester because in the same way heād been invading other aspects of her life, heād disappeared just as fast. He doesnāt wait for her outside of the lecture hall, doesnāt wander up to speak to Astrid, and doesnāt come by the cat cafe when sheās on shift. Y/N had even tried to catch him at the park under the guise of taking Ducky for a walk on a day with a nice breeze and didnāt see him throwing the frisbee with Christopher like she might have hoped. It had been a long shot but sheād been feeling a little desperate.Ā
Then, the following Sunday, she gets a notification that her discussion board has been answered by Harry S. Her brows raise to her hairline as she taps the screen, opening up the school app to see what he had said. And her heart, always talking for her, speeds up as she reads his response to her interpretation of how Titian translated the original mythological context into his piece Bacchus and Ariadne. It wasnāt even a discussion post that encouraged any sort of banter, yet somehow, Harry is absolutely brutal with his response. Enough that Y/N is left blinking at her phone, a little confused. Harry has always sort of made her feel like an idiot in his replies, but that was more so the condescending undertone that was always present.Ā
This wasnāt just condescending, this was outright anger. He was mad at her.
Y/N replied though it lacked most of her usual fire. Honestly, she is so thrown off by the irritation so clearly present in the response, that she barely even knew what she was arguing with him over. Still, she wasnāt just going to leave it there un-replied to.Ā
In her bewilderment, she does find the small sliver of courage to message him ā???ā (because what the hell?), but he doesnāt respond.Ā
That next day in their lecture, they were discussing how the Japanese Renaissance related to the Italian Renaissance, and Caldarone asked Y/N pointedly what two pieces of work theyād discussed on the slide previously more closely related to each other. Y/N had barely gotten her answer out of her mouth before Harry was raising his hand, standing firm when he replied, āI disagree,ā before launching into what bordered an entire thesis statement about how actually, itās the other two paintings that were more adjacent to each other. Again, how he argues his point is different and more intense, and Y/N can tell she isnāt the only one who thinks so. Even Caldarone seemed a little taken aback, blinking at him, eyes a little more widened than before.Ā
She was embarrassed for lashing out at him, sure, but she was more embarrassed by the way heād spoken to her in front of everyone in class. And she was extra embarrassed that she had no rebuttal.Ā
So after class, she raced to pack her shit up, and Astrid patted her thigh, āI donāt know what that was, but good luck,ā she told her and Y/N touched the top of her head like a pat in parting.
Harry walks fast because heās already exiting the doors of the main entrance as sheās stepping out of their lecture hall. Y/N practically trips over her feet trying to catch up to him, and at least waits until sheās only a couple meters away before calling his name. At first, he ignores her, but she can smell the spike in his scent; something bitter and biting. It doesnāt suit him, not even a little bit.Ā
When she calls out a second, āHey, Harry!ā He does stop, pivoting on his heel and the face she is met with is anything but the soft, saddened one sheād seen last time. Clashing with his poor mood, Harry wears a shirt with three kittens on the front of it that Y/N recognizes well from the cafe she works at. He wore shorts today too ā the ones that cut off about midthigh and Y/N would normally call out for being āslutty-man-shortsā but she hardly believes now was the time.Ā
āWhat do you want?ā He asked, and his tone was just as biting as his scent. It makes something uncomfortable stir in her chest.Ā
She could apologize like sheād been planning on doing, but she doesnāt, āWhat is your problem?ā Is what she lands on instead.Ā
āI donāt have a problem.ā He grumbled, but Y/N shook her head.Ā
āNo, you do! Youāre usually ā how you usually debate with me or correct me is never as. . .as harsh or aggressive as that last discussion post, or whatever the hell that was in class,ā she pointed her thumb back toward the building, āWhy are you being like this?āĀ
Harry gives a disbelieving chuckle, seeming dumbfounded by her question. Which āĀ yeah, it was kind of rich coming from her, but she doesnāt think he understands what she meant. She wondered why he was being like this now, 5-6 days after she had snapped at him. Sheād answered the discussion board post on Wednesday night, if he was really that irate with her at the time then he would have sent his big long response then, wouldnāt he have? Or maybe heād just let himself stew in his anger for a whole week until he finally snapped? But Harry just doesnāt seem like the type to do that.Ā
āArenāt you the one who said we werenāt friends before and we arenāt going to be friends after?ā He threw her words back at her, and she grimaced like heād thrown sand in her face. Y/N, despite how much she seemed to get herself in the midst of it, doesnāt like conflict much at all. Sheās outspoken, but sheās a nervous wreck too, so her body is always responding in every way imaginable to display her distress. The sun beat down on the back of her neck, but she knew that wasnāt why she felt sweat start to bead against it, or why her palms felt wet, āYou want us to just go back to before, then fine, but Iāll be just as mean to you as you are to me.āĀ
Her mouth feels dry, her tongue too thick for her mouth, āThatās not āāĀ
āI donāt want to talk to you,ā his words sliced her to the bone, āYou hurt my feelings, alright? You think Iām nothing but an annoying classmate, donāt you? A prick who thinks he knows more than you?ā She blinked at him ā how had he heard that? āWell, then thatās what Iāll be.āĀ
āWait!ā She grabbed his wrist before he could stomp off, and Harry didnāt snatch his arm away which she took as a good sign, because at the end of the day, this isnāt Harry. She didnāt know much about him (her fault) but she could tell from the time sheād spent with him, that hostility and contention arenāt something he reveled in. Maybe it took Niall waving it in her face for her to realize she had always been the aggressor in their disagreements and Harry never really fought back. Heād always only seemed delighted to be speaking about art with someone but Y/N had taken it as him feeling haughty and smarter than her. āWhere did you hear that?āĀ
He rolled his eyes, āIt doesnāt even matter.āĀ
āIt does! It does matter,ā she gripped him a little tighter, feeling only slightly crazy for the display they were giving on the sidewalk now. People are walking by them unperturbed though, at the very least acting like they didnāt care, āIām ā listen, I know this is late, I was trying to figure out how to say it to you, but I wanted to apologize for acting the way I did,ā she cleared her throat, wanting to crawl from her skin and scurry underground, far from his unyielding gaze, āI donāt ā I donāt know, I know we didnāt have the best start, and I so vehemently wanted to be better than you in class but youāre good. . .great and it made me resent you. Anytime you spoke to me or said something I just figured itās because you thought I was an idiot, and you were smarter than me, and thatās not your fault, that I perceived you that way, like ā itās my own insecurities, in the end. I convinced myself that you thought you were better than me and it made me. . .spiteful. And mean,ā her shoulders shrink, slouching far, āI feel so bad for yelling at you like that, especially after everything we had done together, that was a very vulnerable moment and I can ā I understand it must have hurt like a thousand times more because of that and I already felt guilty because I didnāt stay with you during the whole thing, so like I think that might have been apart of it.āĀ
She hates that sheās rambling, and she hates that she even brought up feeling guilty, because the hardness in Harryās eyes softens minutely, āWhat?ā He stopped her before she could continue her spiral (thank god for it too, or else she might start admitting that sheād missed his scent, and had pitifully buried her nose into the hoodie heād washed at night before bed for several nights, āWhat do you mean you felt guilty?āĀ
Y/N shrugged, shaking her head, āI donāt know, that I didnāt help you through the whole thing? I only did the first like, full day, and. . .you know, itās easy to feel inadequate,ā she explained, āBut Iāve never been great at interpreting my emotions, so feeling inadequate typically turns into feeling spiteful.āĀ
āYou donāt ā I donāt like that,ā he shook his head, āYou helped me out a lot that day, and we had no choice but to leave. Thereās nothing to feel guilty about, you arenāt responsible for me ā you didnāt even need to do what you did. You even scented my stuff before I went home, you were ā you were perfect through all of that, so please donāt say something like that.āĀ
āNever mind all of that,ā she stepped closer to him, āI just ā I get it if you still donāt want to see me or talk to me, or anything, I ā with how Iāve treated you this semester, I deserve it. But I just wanted you to know that Iām sorry. Iām really, really fucking sorry, for how all of this turned out.āĀ
Harry regarded her quietly for a moment. The crowd of students moving from one building to the next had thinned out considerably in their time arguing, so there wasnāt even the bustle of feet shuffling and backpacks moving. Just then, the birds singing in the trees that overhang them, and the hum of a lawnmower nearby. She thinks the scent of cut grass would pervade her senses much more if she wasnāt hyper-focused on Harryās scent, trying to figure out how he felt before he said it.Ā
āThis is all so fucked,ā he sighed, but she watched the tension leaving his muscles, āI ā are you free? Iād really like to sit and talk through all of this because I feel like thereās been a lot of misunderstandings between us. Iād like to sort them out.āĀ
āI work in an hour,ā she frowned, looking at her watch, āBut I get off at 5 PM. Do you think ā I mean, maybe we could go for dinner?āĀ
Harry gives a curt nod, but his words betray them, how soft they sound, āI would like that,ā Y/N feels tingles all over, āYou carpool with Niall right? I can pick you up.āĀ
Y/N doesnāt bother asking how he knows that, sheās just entirely too grateful to get all of this figured out finally. Hell, it had only taken two days for her to feel intense distress at the prospect of Harry being mad at her and he let her avoid him for close to two weeks before finally saying something. His constitution must be far stronger than hers, or he was just so used to her being rude to him that it took him a minute to realize. She isnāt sure, but the latter makes her want to chew through her own lip.Ā
She finally let go of his arm, her hand dangling at her side now that she wasnāt gripping him so tightly, āI really am sorry,ā she said, one more time before they parted ways.Ā
āI know,ā he replied gently.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
It is hard to sit still at work, so she deep cleans the entire front area. She scrubs the counters, and the till, cleans out the coffee machine, vacuums, and mops the floors. She combs up the fur that gets embedded in the scratching post bases and the cat trees, rearranges the adoption board, and writes new āabout me'sā for all the new kitties whose personalities finally started to shine through once they got comfortable. Y/N changes out all the litter boxes and even cleans them out with warm, sudsy water too ā literally anything to not be left alone with her thoughts for too long.Ā
Still, despite her efforts, she thinks. Sheās glad that Harry wants to hash this all out, but sheās worried about going back to the start and reliving every shitty thing sheās probably said to him. The guilt for how sheād treated him from the start had begun bubbling in her chest around the time she felt guilty for not helping him through his complete rut. But as sheād said before, feeling inadequate in any capacity somehow her body twists into spite. Itās the only way she could survive her primary and secondary school years. Every art instructor telling her that what she did wasnāt good, eventually wears on someone ā she could either be depressed about it, or she could major in art history and be better at their job than they ever was, all while not putting down young omega girls who like drawing and painting creepy things.Ā
It wasnāt an excuse though, to treat someone the way she treated him. Maybe she wasnāt outwardly bullying him, but she wasnāt being nice. Instead of taking his banter back and forth with her as a chance for them to learn from each other and expand their minds, sheād just assumed he was like everyone else. Not to mention her shoddy history with alphas in general ā Harry really never stood a chance, did he?Ā
Niall doesnāt say anything at first, but as soon as she pulls out a toothbrush to scrub at the baseboards (she brought one out for him too, but she hardly thinks heāll help), he finally sits up from the sofa with his arms curled around Muffin ā a brown ragdoll kitten, the only left of the litter because she had a slight limp. She was snuggly as ever and loved to sit snuggled in Niallās neck when he sat with her.Ā
āDid something happen?ā He inquired, but it wasnāt so much of a question, as it was a I know something happened so tell me.Ā
āHm? Nothing,ā Y/N lied, dipping the toothbrush into the mix of diluted cleaner and starting to scrub, āWhy would you think somethingās wrong?āĀ
She may not be looking at him directly, but she can tell that Niall is leveling her with a gaze that reads Do I look stupid? He lets the silence bleed on for long enough that Y/N starts to feel uncomfortable, so she tells on herself, āHarry and I kind of had a fight this morning,ā she doesnāt look at him, still scrubbing at the baseboards, waving away Cow who keeps trying to flop in front of her, āHe snapped at me, um, but it was like ā more productive than when I snapped at him. So heās picking me up from work and weāre going to dinner, to talk about everything. Clear the air and all that.āĀ
āAhhh,ā Niall lets Muffin out of his arms ā she only knows because she hears Muffin complain in a long meow, āSo youāre nervous?āĀ
Y/N paused before nodding, āVery.āĀ
āGosh, youāre adorable,ā Niall sighed, and finally Y/N turned to look at him, scowling, the smell of his delight curling through the room, āI didnāt know this summer would cultivate romance.āĀ
āItās not cultivating anything,ā she waved him off, āWeāre just talking, alright? And Iām apologizing, and hopefully we can just start over again, and be friends or something. That would be much less taxing on me.āĀ
He grinned, dropping down beside her and grabbing the second toothbrush.Ā
āWhatever you sayyyyy,ā he buzzed, before helping her scrub.Ā
With her tireless cleaning, the shop looks beautiful, but her overwhelming anxiety still smothers her. She cleaned up in the bathroom, changing into clothes that werenāt covered in cat fur and litter dust, and she prayed she didnāt smell too overwhelmingly like cleaning solutions. Harry had come inside, she could hear him talking to Niall (and Astrid, who had come around lunch to bring them food and play with the kittens for free)through the bathroom door. She straightened out her hair and gathered her bearings, before stepping out and walking the short hallway to the main room.Ā
Harry seemed surprised to see her like heād forgotten that heād come for her rather than to pet Cowās chunky pink belly and talk to Niall and Astrid. She almost let it hurt her feelings before he motioned around, āNiall said youāre the one who cleaned,ā he smiled, āIt looks really good in here ā smells good too.āĀ
āI think it smells like Y/N,ā Niall said from his spot on the sofa.Ā
Astrid agrees, her legs stretched over Niallās lap, āI reckon it does.āĀ
Harryās face warms that pretty, rosy pink she might be too fond of, and Y/N glared at them both, āLetās go,ā she suggested, bending down to scratch between Cowās ears.Ā
The car ride isnāt as awkward as she thought it would be, nor is being seated, or waiting for the waitress to come around and take their orders. It was only after they knew they wouldnāt be interrupted for a while that they started discussing what they needed to.Ā
āIāll just start with ā with what Iāve been like. . .what my problem was from the start,ā she began because as much as she had denied it at the beginning, this was kind of her fault, she could admit that, āThat first night, when I went home with Christopher, I was like ā really pent up? Without getting too deep into it, there just hadnāt been a lot of time to. . .relieve myself, trying to get into the program, so I was ready to get some form of release. Then you were just sitting there on the couch, staring at me with these wide eyes, and I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Like, my knee-jerk reaction was to be mad at you, so Iād known at some point youād upset me in the past, and then you were upsetting me then. Even more when Christopher said he didnāt want to fuck because you were there, I ā well, I needed someone to blame, so I blamed you.ā She sighed, her face feeling hot with shame, āThen I kind of got in my head and convinced myself you were staring so hard because you thought I was a whore or something, so that was a whole other thing.āĀ
Harry countered with a quick shake of his head, āIāve never thought that.āĀ
āI mean, I know that now, but I didnāt know back then, you know?ā She clarified, her voice soft, āBut then I realized I remembered you from a cafe I used to go to, and I remembered you were always staring at me the same way and getting my drinks wrong. Like, I honestly thought you had it out to get me.āĀ
Harry frowned, āThat ā no,ā he sighed, āGod this is so messed up. It wasnāt because I didnāt like you,ā with a pause, he knuckled at his eyes tiredly, tilted his chin down with his elbows rested on the table, āYou just always smelled so good.āĀ
Brows curled, she tilted her head, āHuh?āĀ
āYou smelled good!ā He exclaimed, finally looking up at her, still with a pout pulling at his face, āI could never focus when you came in, ācos Iād never. . .Iād never smelled someone like you before. Not an omega, not an alpha, not a beta ā you smelled so fucking good, I just could think, and thatās why. . .I mean the drinks never turned out great.ā His shoulders slump, āI recognized you as soon as Christopher walked you in ā how you smelled, and how you looked; the same disappointed gleam in your eye when you registered that I was behind the counter is how you looked at me when I was on the couch. Iād finally gotten used to not seeing you or smelling you since you stopped coming around, and then all of a sudden you were at my door ā thatās why I was staring.āĀ
Y/N paused and took a moment to comprehend his words, her eyes catching on the way he nervously twisted his ring around his index finger, āOh,ā is the only intelligible thing she could come up with, āMy scent?āĀ
With a nod, Harry agreed, āYes, itās ā itās very distracting.āĀ
āBut why?ā Her fingers reach to her throat, grazing lightly over where the blocker sits above it (she wears them to work because the cats are sensitive to too many smells and they have to deal with people coming in and out all day), āUsually a scent doesnāt distract me unless itās horrible.āĀ
He shrugged, āI donāt know, I just know that it isnāt horrible,ā he was pink all over, embarrassed to be admitting it, āItās delicious, like ā I donāt want to sound like a creep, but I really like it. I didnāt even wash a good amount of the clothes I had making up our nest until Iād ridden my rut the rest of the way through. And even then it was difficult,ā she thinks, if she reached out to touch his ear, it would feel like it was on fire ā like heād left the hair dryer sitting over that section of hair for too long, āSo, yeah. I really like your scent.āĀ
Y/N feels. . .stupid. Like, really stupid, actually; most of this irritation and anger had started from her being irritated that heād stare at her the way he did. Then those feelings proliferated as time went on, pervading any chances that they would have been friends to start. And it had been because he liked the way she smelled?Ā
Her insides feel squidgy and soft. Nobody had ever spoken so highly of her scent before ā not betas nor omegas and especially not any alphas. Sheād always thought it must be nothing to write home about since no one had mentioned it. Sometimes her roommates would scent her but that was mostly for bonding, and 9 times out of 10 (if she wasnāt horny at least) her scent was the least potent of all of them. Then, when everyone was complaining about it earlier this month, she thought it must be not great ā maybe overly sweet, in the way it was abrasive. Something that she must have gotten used to living with.Ā
So to hear this? She was well and truly shocked.Ā
āWow this has,ā she faltered, so confused, āThis has gotten out of hand.āĀ
āYeah.ā He agreed, āIām sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.āĀ
Y/N snorted, āIt doesnāt ā maybe it should, but it doesnāt,ā she lulled her tongue over her dry mouth, āI mean, nobody has ever said that before so I. . .I think I like it?āĀ
āNobody?ā He regarded her skeptically, āReally?ā She shook her head, āThatās just kind of hard to believe. Iām pretty sure it pushed me into my rut.āĀ
Itās her turn to flush, feeling hot and shy all over at the implication of it. He had blamed her for it when his rut started, sure, but she kind of thought he was just whining. Even when he told her how jealous heād been when Christopher walked in with her ā she imagined if her scent is intense to him as is, then it was probably triple that when she was worked up and ready to be fucked.Ā
All of this is almost too much. It makes her dizzy, feeling so unbelievably stupid.
āI donāt even know what to say,ā she rests her face in her hands, āThis is all my fault.ā
It's very clear that Harry doesnāt like when Y/N blames herself for anything, in the way he touches her for the first time since all of this started. His fingers loop around her wrist and he tugs gently, āNo it isnāt,ā he assured her, āI couldāve said something to you but I just stared, like a creepā¦I probably wouldāve been distrusting of my motives if I were in your shoes too.ā Then he slid his hand to her elbow, āAnd I knew when I was pissing you off in class, but you just smelled so good when you were worked up I kept doing it.ā
āDick.ā She grumbled, but she did peek out at him from between her fingers, āIām embarrassed.āĀ Ā
āMe too. Christopher overheard you when you were talking to the others about me ā you were at lunch or something, and he heard you say that I was a prick who thought I was smarter than you and it just ā I got so frustrated that you saw me like that. But then I was just a huge dick in return, so. . .ā He chews on his bottom lip for a second, and releases it when itās a little pinker, āI think. . .I mean this sounds cliche and corny, but could we start over? And maybe do this without like. . .the tension and not liking each other. Like, we can still rival if you want, but I want it to be healthier.āĀ
āYes, I think that would be good,ā Y/N lowered her hands to look at him fully, āI. . .you really will? Do that with me? I havenāt been very kind to you at all, so I would understand if you wanted to cut ties fully even āāĀ
āYou helped me through my rut when you didnāt like me, I think thatās pretty kind.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
Y/N thinks that life is much calmer now; sheād not realized how heavily treating Harry as a rival had been weighing on her. Every moment that she was thinking about school, she was thinking about Harry, how she could do better than him, sound smarter than him, get a higher score, and impress her professor. Constantly he was swimming around her brain, like a rat in sewer water, polluting any sense of tranquility that she could have had. And at the time, it didnāt seem that taxing.Ā
But now, without it. . .well, her summer felt a lot better, didnāt it?Ā
They started small, nothing too crazy. Harry would come by and snuggle with Cow while Y/N worked and they might chat idly about their upcoming final. Y/N had all of her books and reviews with her, so they would crack it open ā Niall would ask them the questions, they would spout out the answers, and if Harry knew one that she didnāt, Y/N was only mildly annoyed. She only uses it as an excuse to get better though, and she channels that annoyance into energy to remember for next time.Ā It is a much healthier version of what she was doing before, and for that, she feels lighter afterward. Especially when Harry cheered for her if she got a question right that he didnāt know.Ā
Since she and Niall work the same schedule, she doesnāt know if Harry comes on the days that sheās off or if he only shows up on the days that Y/N works. He does seem to always turn up around lunchtime, with the drink that Y/N used to order (made correctly) and muffins, or sandwiches and chips from the bistro down the road. Y/N always pouted, āStop being nice,ā she would grumble, āIt makes me feel worse for being such a dick before.āĀ
āYou should,ā Niall would say around a mouthful, āYouāre always a little bit of a dick arenāt you?āĀ
āShut the hell up.āĀ
āAnyway,ā Niall popped open the bag of chips, leaning on the sofa and holding his sandwich away from one of their cats Mitties, who had her paws on his chest stretching his nose out to the bread, āHarry, weāre going swimming this Saturday so that Astrid and Y/N donāt spend their whole day rotting in their rooms and studying. You should come.āĀ
Harryās eyes brightened, āI love swimming,ā his lips pulled into a big smiler, āI ā really? I wouldnāt be intruding?āĀ
āOf course not. You should make Y/N swim you around on her back, to make up for the last couple of weeks.āĀ
āShut up!āĀ
The thing is, Y/N didnāt have any problem with Harry going with them. She thinks it would be fun ā they all love him anyway, and Y/N thinks it would probably be a decent exercise in bonding for the two of them. And as she recalls from helping Harry out, heās fucking built, and the rare moments she was able to gawk at him (because he wanted to be pressed skin-to-skin, she didnāt get a lot of time to unless he was asleep), she was seconds from drooling. Itās something he doesnāt show off with tight-fitting clothes and muscle shirts, so the potential of him in swim trunks. . .she may not have been a fan of him, but she knew he was eye candy. She wasnāt blind to it.Ā
Harry met them at the beach Saturday morning, a tote bag that was filled with sunscreen, snacks, and a fucking visor (two ā he brought two!). Adam had a cooler full of little cocktails and water, Astrid brought the beach towels, their sunglasses, and clothes to change into afterward, and Niall and Y/N brought themselves in their swimsuits. It was a little man-made beach, and it was relatively busy on Saturdays, especially in the summer, but they got there early enough that they luckily got a nice little spot beneath an umbrella to set up shop.Ā
Astrid, Niall, and Adam make a train putting sunscreen on each other. Y/N tried to join behind Astrid but she only waved her off, āNiall already got my back, baby, but I think Harry needs help,ā she sent her off with a kiss. Y/N had a sneaking suspicion that they were trying to group the two of them together, but this solidified it. She turned around, just in time for Harry to be peeling off his top.Ā
She swallowed thickly, her hand gripping the bottle of sunscreen, and ambled over to him, āHey,ā she grabbed his attention, keeping her eyes on his face (and struggling), āWill you put some on my back, if I put some on yours?āĀ
āOf course,ā he smiled, just horrifically nice to her, as always, āHand it over.āĀ
Y/N turned around, tugging her shirt over her head and wiggling her shorts down her legs. She rolled up the shirt around her hands, tilted her head down, and waited patiently for Harry to squirt the sunscreen on her back. Y/N heard the cap pop open, him rubbing his hands together, and then the cold touch of his palms against her heated skin. The feeling reminded Y/N of his hand pushing between her shoulders, pressing her down into the nest before he fucked into her from behind and pressed a thumb against the hole he wasnāt preoccupying with his prick.Ā
Apparently, Harry is reminded of something along the same lines, because low enough just for her to hear, he murmurs, āThe white all over your back is a familiar visual, hm?āĀ
It startled a laugh out of her, and she turned around, swatting his bicep, āEnough,ā she said between giggles, and the dimple in Harryās cheek had never stood out so much to her. He flipped around and Y/N danced her hands along his sinewy back, clicking her tongue, āYou freak.āĀ
The sun beats down hot and hard ā their skin feels like it is cooking if they arenāt in the water so thatās where they stay. Y/N isnāt the strongest swimmer, and she has a deep fear of being yanked out into the tide and pulled underwater by some Kraken-like sea creature.Ā
āI thought you were into the tentacle thing,ā Adam accused, his fingers wrapping around her ankle as she gripped the floaty they brought tightly.Ā
āOkay, who started this rumor?ā Y/N groaned, her lips sticky with the canned cocktail, āYou guys have been throwing this accusation around for the last two years!āĀ
Astrid pointed toward her, āYou did on Niallās birthday, like four shots in,ā she reminded her, āIt wasnāt even that hard to get it out of you, you mentioned buying one of those dildos with āāĀ
āAlright, I get it!ā She kicked Adam off her ankle and kicked her feet until she was beside Harry, who was clutching a water bottle above the water. Y/N can admit sheās much more touchy the more drinks she has in her system, linking her calf around his thighs and yanking him close to him. Her crotch bumps into his hip, but Harry accommodates readily, looping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. Maybe this would be different if she hadnāt heard Harry whine to fuck a knot in her a couple of weeks ago, but she did, so itās surprisingly comfortable. None of the others seem very surprised that she ran over to him either, āHarry save me, theyāre being mean.āĀ
āBe nice guys,ā he chastised lightly, before a smirk twitched onto his mouth, āI for one, know someone super into tentacles and theyāre perfectly well adjusted so āāĀ
āChrist, youāre even worse than them.āĀ
Harry coaxes water from his bottle into her periodically and during their re-sun screening session, he has her eat a sandwich heād packed. He takes care of her in the way he took care of her at the hotel, maybe not to the same extent (he wasnāt hand-feeding her the sandwich this time) but the notion feels similar. Harry really is such a good alpha, not just to her, but to everyone. He takes care of Astrid, and Adam too, even levels a glare that could kill a man when a group of alphas tries swimming too close (three omegas out in the water, sadly, is a one-way ticket to being bothered), and they fuck off quicker than if Niall started threatening.Ā
And Niall, of course, gets just as whiny and needy when heās drunk as the rest of them. Somehow Harry ends up with him fixed to his side, complaining about heat exhaustion then doing nothing to get out of the sun. Harry only nods and entertains his bleating, while also encouraging him to drink water, and sliding a granola bar into Niallās gesticulating hand.Ā
āYouāre good at this,ā Y/N murmured when the other three had decided to go back into the water (Adam was the designated driver, so he was sober and capable of keeping the other two from drowning ā namely Niall). Theyāre stretched out on the beach towels, suspiciously close to each other (she could have sworn her towel had been spread out beside Astrid), and hiding beneath the big, multicolored sunshade umbrella, āTaking care of people.ā She added when Harry opened the lid to the water sheād asked him for, handing it over.Ā
Harry hummed, combing his hair from his face, his skin flushed red from the sun.
āWhy are you so good at it?ā She pressed, taking the bottle from his hands, āIs it ācos youāre an alpha?āĀ
Y/N knew that wasnāt the reason, because sheād meant plenty of shithead alphas who could barely wipe their own ass, let alone take care of someone as conscientiously as Harry does. She thinks whether he had presented as an alpha, a beta, or an omega, he would have ended up the same way. Attentive and gentle, where his touch feels as delicate as the heart he wears right on his sleeve.Ā
āNo, I donāt think so,ā he said after a little while, āMy parents split up when I was younger. My dad was a businessman ā an alpha, always away on what we thought were important trips, but was really meeting with his second family. Some pretty omega that could give him what my ābeta motherā couldnāt, at least thatās what he told me when I was seven,ā Y/N gasped, scandalized, and Harry nodded, āShitty, right? He left my mom with two kids and no money thanks to the prenup he forced her to sign. I watched her struggle to keep us afloat for years before I could work and help financially, so. . .I guess Iāve just always felt this responsibility that itās good to help out and I should if I can, in any way.āĀ
She pouted her mouth, guilt welting beneath her skin, āSo itās like. . .childhood trauma related?āĀ
Harry disagreed, āI wouldnāt say that either. I think everyone learns to adapt to situations in different ways; I reckon some people, when itās related to childhood, feel this like. . .foreboding need to take care of someone, rather than a willingness to. I like to take care of people,ā he looks off into space, gazing at the shoreline, lost in his head, āIt makes me feel good, so I keep doing it.āĀ
Looking at Harry in this light is different. It makes him very. . . real, to her. Not that he wasnāt before, but right here, in the glitter of the sun, he feels much more vivid than he ever has to her before. Y/N had seen Harry in his most primal state, but she knew nothing of his life, just as he knew nothing of hers. Itās weird to think that they shared a nest but Y/N didnāt know he had a sister until just now.Ā
Harry fiddled with a loose thread on his navy swim trunks, the turtles outlining it looking warped and the slowly drying fabric, āAre you feeling weird about opening up?ā She inquired, noticing the change in his demeanor ā how he sat a little more tense than he was before, the way he started to close off his body language.Ā
He seemed surprised at her question, then sheepish as he nodded, āYeah, a little. I just realized you probably werenāt asking for a life story.āĀ
With a snort, Y/N rolled her eyes, āI asked you, dummy,ā she clicked her tongue, āYou answered me. Donāt feel weird about it.ā Still a little tipsy, she scooted closer to him, prodding at his bicep where ā despite their efforts with the sunscreen ā the skin was a hazy red, āDo you want me to open up about something too? It wonāt be comparable, probably, but would that make you feel better?āĀ
āA lot better, actually,ā he turned, his legs in a criss-cross and facing her, āTell me anything.āĀ
Y/N dipped her thumbnail into her thigh, rocking it back and forth until a small indent presented itself, āWhen I first started drawing, Iād always draw like ā weird creepy shit all of the time. All my insects looked like real bugs and I used to be obsessed with giving animals two heads or multiple eyes. Everyone always made it like. . .they always made it out like I might be some disturbed child with deranged thoughts, but I just thought it was cool. Horror movies and books always fascinated me and I wanted to recreate the things that I saw.ā Harry seemed elated by the fact that she was bringing up her art, having not expected to ever know about it. Sheād been pretty clear that she wasnāt going to share her endless need to pretend like she didnāt draw or paint, and pretty rough about it too. But in the spirit of getting closer to him, erasing the pointed spikes of their past that sheād laid, she thought maybe it would be interesting to him.Ā
āBut like ā again, everyone was so shitty about it. No matter what age I was, no matter what class I was in, the teacher always looked horrified and my classmates would side-eye me like Iād just spider-crawled along the wall. I think that was mostly because the teacher was being dramatic about it and they were all kiss-asses,ā Harry huffed a laugh, āEither way, I just stopped sharing it with people. And Iām always expecting people to like. . .say itās ugly or weird or something. Itās why I was so upset you kept bringing it up.ā
Itās Harryās turn to pout, āIām sorry.āĀ
āDonāt apologize, you didnāt know, and I wasnāt necessarily forthcoming with an explanation.āĀ
It feels good to get off her chest. The only other person sheād told was Astrid ( if Niall and Adam wondered why she was weird about sharing her art, then they didnāt say a thing about it, since she gets so cagey when itās brought up), and that had taken three margaritas and a heart-to-heart over a shared love for Junji Ito before sheād exposed herself. Then she had at least one person to share it with, to try and get better at it since she never felt like she could rely on an instructor to guide her. Maybe, sometimes, she could show Harry too.Ā
āItās amazing,ā he tells her, āWhat you draw is so. . .itās brilliant. I donāt know how to explain it, because usually scary things like. . .really scare me. But I didnāt feel scared, I was just mesmerized, even from the glimpse that I caught,ā he is earnest with his words, and it makes her feel like cotton candy replaced the blood in her veins, all sweetened up and airy.Ā
Y/N nudges him with her knee, āOkay, sweet talker,ā she murmured, āMaybe Iāll show them to you some time.āĀ
āIād love that.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā . Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā .
Y/N knows she isnāt being fair.Ā
The thing is, right now, she doesnāt care.Ā
There was a party after everyone finished their finals, because graduate art students, no matter the age, love to drink and debate whether or not a urinal could be considered fine art.Ā It was nice, because if they didnāt have a flat, then they had a house, and it was more than likely off campus so having a social gathering thatās overflowing with drinks is easy. And, most people can handle their liquor at this point, or at least know their tolerance well enough not to overdo it and be too fucking annoying, like an 18-year-old might. At least she hoped.Ā
Dollie is one of her classmates, an alpha whoās older than her by a few years and theyāve never spoken outside of a three-minute conversation after being paired off in groups, just for her to leave Astrid and Y/N when her friend (who had previously been late) showed up to class. Now, Y/N was standing in a house that she knew her parents must have paid for, in the kitchen that she also knew had Poggenpohl custom cabinets and a refrigerator that had one side with a clear door. The drink she made had grown warm in her hand, not really in the mood for it, but also not in the mood for people to question her lack of alcohol so she just babysits the cup.Ā
Honestly, Y/N would rather be at home, in her nest, and snuggled up warm, but she couldnāt. Not after what sheād heard.Ā
Itād been right after their last exam, she was walking out of the lecture hall and fell behind two omegas chatting with voices low, but now low enough for her to not eavesdrop.Ā
āI think Iām going to do it,ā the one on the left said, her hair a long, chocolate brown that nearly touched her bum ā it sways back and forth, healthy and bouncy, āI was unsure, but then he wore that cat rescue shirt today and like, a man who likes cats is a man worth keeping around. Especially an alpha ā theyāre usually so paranoid about seeming weak, they wouldnāt dare.ā She turned, to face her friend, grinning, āI volunteered at an animal shelter a lot in freshman year, so I feel like we could talk about that or something, to kick it off.āĀ
āYeah, you should go for it. I mean, a lot of people have their eye on Harry but youāre gorgeous, so I donāt see why he wouldnāt choose you.āĀ
Y/Nās blood ran cold the moment it registered in her brain.Ā
They were talking about her Harry. When heād become her Harry, sheās unsure, just as sheās unsure why something ugly sparks hot in her belly at the thought of this omega asking him out. This nice, pretty omega with perfect hair and what seemed to be the perfect profile and a face that was probably made to be painted by the hands of Harryās dreamy style. Why did she care? She couldnāt tell you ā just that the response is visceral, marrow-deep, and makes her face pinch in the most displeased frown that anyone who makes eye contact with her in passing, immediately shifts their gaze.
The ugly feeling is there, no matter how it was conjured. For whatever reason, the thought of Harry even looking at this woman made Y/N want to crawl out of her skin. Not when she and him were becoming friends. Why would he be interested in her mar their road to friendship? Um. . .it just would, alright? It would, because then he wouldnāt really have time to do things with her, probably, because heās trying to court this random omega and then they wonāt go to the movies like they said they should, or have an art night together where they teach other different things about their respective styles, or go out to the breakfast place a town over Harry said she would love (because he remembered how much she loved the waffles heād fed her piece by piece. Plus, how was she going to finally ask for a scented hoodie? All she could give him in return was a scented piece of clothing, but if he had someone then he wouldnāt want that. . . right?Ā
Y/N expresses this to her roommates, who are watching her yank different outfits out of her closet, even though nothing seems right at all.Ā
āYou feel upset about it because you like him, jackass,ā Niall thumbs through her tops, making a ādefinitely notā pile, āWhat youāre feeling is jealousy.āĀ
āIām not jealous,ā she stresses, āHonestly, like ā I just think it would ruin all of our progress.āĀ
āHow so?ā Adam nodded his head when Niall held up one of her tops ā a long sleeve with a keyhole chest, āI know the sleeves are long, but the material seems nice.āĀ
Y/N stared at him for a moment, shifting through her thoughts but they all seemed scattered and messy, āIt just would.āĀ
āAre you sure you should go tonight?ā Astrid inquired, āYouāre kind of all over the place, babe. Your heat should be a couple of weeks away, but your preheat always starts kind of quickly. Your scent is even a little stronger already.āĀ
Y/N considered maybe that might be why sheās feeling so territorial. One time in her preheat, Niall saw a movie that Y/N wanted to see, with another one of his friends and she felt like a scorned lover. Even though Niall didnāt know she wanted to see it, and she had made no move to let him know. Still, he had to placate her with scented hoodie after scented hoodie before she allowed him in her room again. She was always like that, around her heat. Possessive of her friends, whether sheād known them for years or for days. They were hers; it wasnāt a trait a lot of omegas had, because that mostly outlined alpha-like behaviors, so it was something she tried to be quiet about. It was hard though, especially now.Ā
That would make the most sense, how scattered she feels and the desperate need for him to scent her. She had had a feeling after their beach day that she might be feeling the first licks of her preheat, but she stuffed it down. There had been no time for that, and she had a final to study for. It would also make sense why it feels like sheās acting on instincts and emotion rather than her more logical side. In a normal situation, on a normal week, Y/N would at least have the decency to mentally spiral about what this means for her, and what her feelings for Harry must be to feel this way. At least then she might be coming at this with a better view of the situation ā she would be less likely to get hurt that way.Ā
But none of that seemed to matter ā rationality and being normal about this seemed far away from her. Honestly, she might be closer to her heat than she thought.Ā
āSāfine,ā she waved her off, āIām alright for the night, at least. Youāll be with me right?āĀ
āOf course I will,ā Astrid assured her.Ā
So there she was, in the kitchen, narrowed eyes trained on Harry where he was leaning against the bar and no doubt letting himself be wooed by Hallie (Astrid informed her of the name). He hadnāt even made it over to Y/N before she grabbed him ā Y/N wasnāt even sure if he knew she was there. Astrid had left to pluck from the charcuterie board before ambling back to Y/N, clicking her tongue. She flicked Y/Nās cheek, laughing when she turned to her, āYou look and smell pissed.āĀ
āIām not,ā she groused, āI donāt even care about whatās happening over there.āĀ
āThen why are we here?ā Astrid pressed and Y/N sighed, leaning her head back.Ā
āYou ask stupid questions,ā she countered but didnāt follow up. How could she, when Harry laughed so brightly at something Hallie said? āWhat the fuck,ā she muttered beneath her breath, āIt couldnāt have been that funny. Iām way funnier.āĀ
Astrid flicks her cheek again.Ā
Y/N knew that Harry wasnāt her alpha, but she thought it might be possible that her hormones didnāt. Everyone always talks about the āomegaā or āalphaā inside of them like itās their own, sentient being, and if that were so, then Y/Nās omega probably thinks she and Harry are mated. Because said omega, is making her feel all sorts of things when Hallie reaches out and plucks an eyelash off Harryās cheek. And, come to think of it, itās probably the omega that makes her slam her cup down and stalk off with a grumble. Certainly not because of her, or any feelings she might have that she hadnāt bothered dissecting, or whatever.Ā
Nobody was outside, because it was hot and humid still, even with the moon sitting in place of the sun. Y/N regretted storming out here and not somewhere else in Dollieās unreasonably large house, but she couldnāt turn around and go right back in. That would look crazier than her storming out in the first place, so she resigns to being outside in the muggy weather. At least Dollie has a deck, and the backyard leads off into a small wooded area. Sheād rather spend her time being paranoid about what could be watching her from there rather than think about what was going on inside.Ā
āY/N?ā She nearly threw herself over the deck at the sudden sound of Harryās voice ā she hadnāt even heard the door open (at least not over the sound of her slapping a mosquito off her leg), āOh, sorry babe, I didnāt mean to scare you. Are you okay?āĀ
She turned to look at him, swallowing hard when she noticed that he had another pair of āslutty-boy-shortsā on and a linen button-up, short-sleeved and the top three unbuttoned. And she can smell him, this close, it wraps around her and tugs her close like a siren luring a sailor to see. Y/N doesnāt know if itās her preheat making her even more sensitive to his scent, or if he might be doing what heād done for her in the plane. They had spoken earlier today, not even a full 12 hours ago, but the amount of mental turmoil sheād gone through since then made it feel like itās been a week.Ā
āWhy wouldnāt I be?ā Y/N could hear it in her voice, how petulant she sounded, and she wanted to cringe and roll her eyes at herself. This is humiliating ā she acts like she hates the guy one second, then is up his ass the next? Getting jealous that heās spending his time with someone who isnāt her? Letting the thought of him courting another omega ruin her whole day? What sense did that even make?Ā
āI donāt know,ā he replied tentatively, āDo you feel bad about the final?āĀ
She feels cornered, and stupid, and that always makes her snappy. Itās why she spits, āYou would love that wouldnāt you?ā But Harry doesnāt take the bait.Ā
His hand is gentle on her shoulder, āHey, donāt be like that,ā he said when his response probably should have been what the fuck is your problem? āWe said we arenāt gāna do that anymore, yeah? Just tell me whatās going on.āĀ
āNothing,ā she said, still stiff and defensive, but the way he was looking at her ā the way it looked like he was searching her gaze for something, so concerned and worried about how she was feeling ā the fight zips out of her just as fast as it's entered, āNothing,ā she repeated, quieter, less prickly, āItās just. . .you know. I donāt know.āĀ
She isnāt lying, necessarily. Y/N doesnāt know what the hell sheās feeling. All she knows is that Harry being this close to her feels good, smelling him is nice, and the warmth of his hand on her shoulder makes her feel fuzzy and warm. In a display of affection that she would love to blame on alcohol (sheās never been more sober in her life, sadly), she tilted her head into his shoulder, closing her eyes. Harry makes a soft, surprised noise but he slides his hand from her shoulder to her nape and he squeezes lightly. She could melt into a puddle in front of him, just from that, what the hell.Ā
āYour scent is a little different,ā he noted, treading carefully, because what he was about to imply could seem like he was being a bastard, but she knew that he wasnāt. And she also knew that he had every right to be curious ā she would be too if the roles were reversed, āA little heat-tinged, yāknow?āĀ
āYeah,ā she couldnāt smell Hallie on him anywhere, and a part of her was buzzing, āMaybe soon.āĀ
Harry hums, low and soft how he does, in a way that is kind of comforting. In a way that says, I understand, without actually having to say it.Ā
They stay like this for a while, quietly. Y/N wonāt admit to pumping out her scent like she was paid to do it, and Harry would probably admit to reveling in it. She doesnāt do this often, if at all, trying mostly to keep her scent to herself but Harry likes it. Liked it so much that it made him fuck up her coffee drinks, made him jealous of Christopher, and made him start his rut early. He likes it, and it feels so good that he likes it ā it makes her feel special, even though it shouldnāt. It made her want to build a nest for them, to coax him into it, to make him stay in there while she nibbled and sucked all over his body.Ā
āWe should go get something sweet,ā Harry suggested, squeezing her again, āYeah? Like froyo or custard or something. Then I can take you back to mine. Thatād be nice, right?āĀ
She nodded, maybe a little too enthusiastically as she pulled herself from his shoulder.Ā
āThat would be great.āĀ












