yearning

the inner voice talks to itself instead of someone else

[yearning-out-loud]

Is it true that I have value? How can I know for sure?

[yearning-out-loud]

I can't help but feel like I'm dismantling everything I love and hold dear.

[yearning-out-loud]

I should never be perceived. I deserve isolation.

[yearning-out-loud]

I think I'm just as unwantable as 2020 Jan

[yearning-out-loud]

A kiss on the cheek

A basket of fruit

A bouquet of flowers

Fleeting, fleeting, fleeting

[yearning-out-loud]

not sure I can balance anything

[yearning-out-loud]

I don't even know what I'd do if I let you down after all this time

[yearning-out-loud]

if I ever lost you I would blow up a hospital

[yearning-out-loud]

im such a stupid waste of time

[yearning-out-loud]

I always knew I'd end up alone. I'm such a fucking loser.

[yearning-out-loud]

She doesn't want to be sat waiting while I'm having fun. Makes sense

[yearning-out-loud]

Smoking weed is miserable

[yearning-out-loud]

I don't want to ing

[yearning-out-loud]

Should have let me die in the hospital tbh

[yearning-out-loud]

Oops! All angst

[yearning-out-loud]

I remember wanting for a nice and successful summer of joy and activity and connection. I remember these times coming and going many times. I'm afraid I cannot look forward to summer with any particular hope. I am expecting to work hard and be inside just like always.

[yearning-out-loud]

There is no summer only sweaty winter