Kiss the Carnage: A Stu x Billy fanfic. CHAPTER 3
WARNINGS: one period-typical homophobic slur said twice but without malice, more violence than the past two chapters, some misogynistic language, slight nsfw
Stu wasn't quite sure exactly how to act.
For the first time in his life he felt completely out of his depth. Sure, this attention he was getting was great and he could mostly ignore the stares and whispers, but the actual ordeal of responding to people's concern and questions was confusing. He was used to attention, he adored it and knew was the shit, but after supposedly going through a "tragedy" should his demeanor change? Should he be shakier? More timid? The very thought of acting that way, that weak made him taste bile on the back of his tongue so he bit the inside of his cheek, letting the soothing rush of blood calm him.
He ignored the bug that scurried out of his ear.
An elbow connected with his ribs and he let out a soundless gasp, gripping at the point of impact. Shooting a glare at a nonchalant looking Billy and his pointy-ass elbow, he grimaced as he straightened up and took notice of the nervous looking girl who had apparently been asking him something.
"Fuck, Billy! The hell was that for?" He spluttered incredulously, rubbing over what would most likely be a bruise on his already battered body. Billy tsked and shrugged before nodding at the aforementioned girl.
"She asked you a question. Not nice to leave a lady waiting."
"Oh," he looked down at the girl. She was a cute thing, he supposed. Brown hair that curled around her chin. Perky tits. Nice. But her eyes were a clear blue. Not even close to the correct color. "What's up?"
"Oh, uh... I, um, just wanted to let you know I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Like, its crazy what happened. If you need anything," she paused, letting her hand rest on Stu's bicep. His eyes trailed down to look at it. "Just look for me. I'm here for you."
She looked at Billy. "Oh. And um, I'm sorry for you too, Billy." With a small, almost flirtatious smile up at Stu and a last squeeze of his muscle, she nodded and left them alone in the courtyard.
"Bitch," Billy muttered, a dark and unsettling expression taking over his face. "What a whore."
Stu glanced over at his friend and shrugged. "She's a chick. Of course she'd be dripping wet over this kinda shit. What, you jealous I'm getting most of the girls 'sympathy'?"
Billy turned away. "Jealous, huh? Yeah, maybe that's it."
Stu titled his head to the side. He couldn't see Billy's face anymore. "Hey, Billy, bro you know I'm just kidding-"
"Drop it," Billy said, tone level. "See you after school." He began trudging off, hands jammed in his pockets. Stu stared helplessly after him, at a loss for words.
The warning bell for the next period rang.
Stu laid on his back on his four poster bed after school, twiddling a pen between his long fingers. His parents hadn't stayed long enough to see him back from his first day back at school, which he was secretly glad about. Now hopefully Billy would forget about including them in the 'sequel'. It's not like he was close to his parents or anything, what with them being gone a good 90% of time, but he sure as hell didn't have any reason to want to kill them.
He yawned, eyes scrunching closed as he absent-mindedly scratched at his stomach, avoiding the wounds. It was odd, Billy not being with him. They'd been almost constantly together the last few weeks. Stu felt like a part of him was missing.
Not that he'd ever admit some pansy shit like that, though.
He jolted upright into a sitting position as his bedroom door slammed open, doorknob hitting the wall at an extreme speed and judging by the sound of it leaving a pretty fucking big dent. Just as quickly and violently as it flew open it was shut again, and a disgruntled looking Billy stood in front of him.
"The hell?! Look what you just did to my fuckin' wall-"
"Shut the fuck up, Macher," Billy snarled, stalking his way angrily over to the front of the bed, climbing on top of it and kneeling in between Stu's legs just below the knee. "For once in your goddamn life, shut it."
Stu raised an eyebrow at his friend's demeanor, wondering for the thousandth time why Billy seemed so unhappy still even after their triumphant night of slaughter.
"Billy? What's going on?"
"I said," Billy growled, extending his torso and arms up to cage Stu to the bed. "To shut. The fuck. Up."
The tall boy's eyes widened and he gulped audibly as Billy's hard eyes scanned his face, blushing deeply when his friend's hands suddenly grabbed onto his wrists, forcing them up above his head. "You make me so, so fucking mad, you know that, Stu?" He asked, shifting so that his hold on Stu was transfered to one hand gripping both his wrists.
Stu winced at the bruising hold and managed to squeak out a semi-confident "I had an idea."
Billy let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. Stu found himself transfixed at the way his dark tendrils of hair swished around his face. "You did huh?" Stu nodded, adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth. "I wonder if you even know why. Why today you made me want to slit your throat even more than usual."
He knew he was digging his own grave when he allowed a lopsided grin to form on his face as he stared up at Billy, knew he was literally staring up into the face of death and yet he still said it. "'Cause yer jealous. I'm more popular than you and you hate it."
He only realized how badly he fucked up when Billy's face transformed into something akin to what he had seen the night they slaughtered everyone, but not during the times it was going well. He had seen this particular expression once on Billy's face, the one that distorted his handsome features into something nearly inhuman, and it was only when Sydney had nearly gotten away.
He had prayed he never had to see this look again, because this was not the look of the Billy he thought he knew. This was the look of Billy when he was about to go on a rampage.
"Hey, man, look, I'm just fucking around-"
"Is that what you think this is?" Billy spoke in a quiet voice. "You think this is some sort of stupid-ass popularity contest?!" He spat, fully raving now. If Stu wasn't sure his neck would be snapped for the slightest transgression at this specific moment, he'd probably make some dumb comment on Billy looking like a rabid dog.
In a surge of movement Billy gripped Stu's throat with his free hand, skipping any build up and immediately going to near-windpipe crushing force. "Is it so hard- so hard to believe that this isn't about any of that kinda shit? Because guess what asshole?! It's not about them! It's not about me! It's about you!"
Stu weakly fought against Billy, air rapidly leaving his heaving body as he squirmed from side to side, hands scrabbling desperately against the headboard where they were being held in a last ditch frantic effort to get free.
"Why can't you fucking get it through your thick head?! Why is it so wrong for me to care about you? Huh?! Answer me!" Billy shouted, voice straining, and as Stu looked up at him, vision blurry from tears, he was shocked to see what appeared to be the brunet's own tears streaming down his face.
While Stu was losing more vision from his deprivation of air, he found himself thinking of the last and only time he saw Billy cry. Because of course, even as he slowly but surely suffocated, Billy was always more important.
Stu walked into his living room, humming a tune and carelessly tossing his back pack on the ground by the entrance. He fully intended to go straight through the living room and into the kitchen to grab a beer, Casey had been nagging him all day and he needed something to get the bitch off his mind, when a small sniffle caught his attention.
He turned around, looking for the source of the sound and cursing internally when his eyes landed in disbelief on a mop of brown hair huddled on his couch.
"Billy? You okay, dude?" He asked, cautiously making his way over to his friend. He wasn't sure how to deal with this situation.
"...Slept with him." Stu heard him mumble, but could tell that was only the tail end of his sentence. Well. Time to use those lessons he learned about context clues.
"Syd did? She slept with who?"
This was very obviously not the right thing to say he quickly realized, as Billy rocketed off the couch, whirling around to face him, face beet red and eyes ablaze with tears and an anger so intense it stunned Stu into silence.
And even in his friend's imperfect fury, chest heaving as a balled up fist made its way to angrily rub away a trickle of snot, Stu didn't think he'd ever seen a creature so beautiful.
"No! Her whore of a mother fucked my pathetic excuse of a father!" He screamed, a maniacal laugh bubbling out of him as he paced over to the closest wall, leaning his head against it. "Fuck!" He suddenly yelled, swinging his arm back and then crashing his fist into the wall with a sickening crack.
Stu's eyes widened, rushing over to his friend and grabbing his wrists firmly in his hands, turning him around to face him. "Woah, woah, slow down, slow down."
"No! Fuck you, you piece of shit!" He cried, beating his fists over and over again against Stu's chest. "LET ME GO! My mom is threatening to leave over this shit!"
Stu grimaced each time Billy's hands connected against his ribs but simply held him closer and shook his head. "Shh..." He soothed. "I'm here, Billy buddy. We'll figure this out together."
Billy sobbed, a deep, low, and despondent sound, finally collapsing against Stu, head in the crook of his shoulder. Stu let go of his wrists after another moment, wrapping his arms instead around Billy's middle in a gentle embrace.
When Billy came to him a week later, crawling through his window with a Buck 190 and a plan, he didn't even have to think twice before agreeing wholeheartedly.
Billy lowered his head until his forehead was resting against the taller male's chest. "Why can't you understand...?" His voice cracked, and Stu felt his heart stutter as the hand on his throat pulled away. He gasped in big lung-fulls of air as Billy leaned back to his former position of resting on his knees again, wiping angrily at his eyes.
"It's so fucking hard, Stu. Thinking of caring for you like this makes me want to scream."
Stu opened and closed his mouth several times as he tried to find his voice, until eventually he was able to rasp out a hoarse "...Why?"
Billy looked at him, dropping his arm and letting it hang by his side. "Because everyone that I care about leaves. I don't want you to leave, Stu. I can't handle that kind of pain again."
Stu squinted at him before leaning his head back and looking up at the ceiling. "Then you're even dumber than me."
"What?" Billy asked sharply, the vulnerability in his voice from earlier quickly dissipating.
"I said that you've got to be even dumber than I am if you think I could ever even think about leaving you." Stu more or less repeated, sitting up slightly to stare at Billy, who looked a bit shell-shocked all of a sudden.
Billy opened his mouth but Stu quickly cut him off before he could get even the first syllable of whatever he was going to say out. "I don't care what you think, Billy. And I know what you're thinking now, at least I think I do, but I don't care about what anyone else thinks either."
"Why the hell d'ya think I hang out with you more than any of my exes combined, even when they were alive? Who do ya think I'm thinking of whenever I fuck some random chick, why do ya think they usually have some combination of brown hair or eyes, or both? Have you noticed that?" He leaned in close to Billy, so his eyelashes were close enough to flutter against the other's, practically cheek to cheek, lip to ear. "And here I was thinking you were the smart one."
Billy shuddered out at breath. "So you do. You're a fag."
"Not a fag," Stu muttered, pulling back and frowning. "I'm only into you."
The shorter brunet's mouth quirked up into a half smile and he leaned forward, following Stu until their faces were less than an inch apart. "Guess that makes two of us, then," Billy said, and as all Stu could focus on was how he could feel Billy's breath leave his lips as he talked and fan over to his own, the two pairs collided in a mess of teeth and tongue, each in a frenzy to claim what was rightfully theirs.
Stu's brain all but short-circuited as he tangled his arms around Billy's neck, pulling them both down on the bed with Billy on top of him, his friend's own hands making their way under his shirt and sliding up his toned stomach, dragging up over his bandages and squeezing at his defined pecs. Stu's moans were quickly reduced to whimpers as Billy sharply tweaked one of his nipples, twisting roughly then tugging lightly on the bud.
Finally, he thought, panting as he rutted his clothed erection up against his friend's own jean clad hard-on desperately.
I WANT TO JUST MAKE IT CLEAR: I am NOT condoning this type of relationship. It is deeply unhealthy. It is toxic. I am a male former victim of domestic abuse and have been in relationships that have messed severely with my mental health, and I would never say this is an acceptable form of relationship. These two are simply far too dysfunctional to have a normal romance, especially with each other (Stu with his idol worship of Billy and generally being an unhinged serial killer/Billy having deep untreated abandonment issues and being a cruel psychotic... well, also unhinged serial killer. You get the idea.) Thank you for reading.
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