Melanie

personal blog. I post dark aesthetics, anime, Asian culture, poetry and vaporwave/cyberpunk.

[yeetboiextra]

[unsends-deactivated20170829]

in one universe

[yeetboiextra]

they say that when people are drunk they say the things they dare not say sober. now my problem is wondering if they dare not say it out of the fear of reaction since it is the truth, or dare not say it because it is nothing but the truth. now it is my problem to figure out if your 'i love yous' bear any meaning, or you only dared to speak a lie.

poems about you that you'll never read, my love

[yeetboiextra]

"But, why is it so hard to write a book without at least some romance?" I asked.

"Well," she began. "Writing books is like life. In life, we all want someone to love. Someone to care for. Unfortunately not everyone gets a chance at that. It's harder for those people. Just like it's harder for book writers when they're writing in a different genre, besides romance. You don't know what to put. Just like some of those people don't know what to do in life. But you're going to have to learn. Just like in life."

-- Fiction is no exception, Mrs. B

[yeetboiextra]

life really is about the little things

i like to think of it as a relationship

a relationship is not solely defined by the big moments

such as the first date

the proposal

or even the marriage

because those alone do not make a relationship

a relationship is about getting to know someone

waking up every morning to have breakfast with them

stealing their clothes to wear to bed only because you long for their scent while they are gone

it's meeting up with their mother every so often, and bonding over baby photos and stories of them back in their home country

a relationship is nothing without the little things

as is life.

[yeetboiextra]

yoooo lemme just address something here

13 reasons why season 2 is getting a lot of hate. like a lot. and a good portion of it is centered around their graphic scenes which people are getting really upset about. there are trigger warnings. TRIGGER WARNINGS EVERYWHERE. they warned you straight up so you knew that shit was gonna be in there don't watch it if you can't handle it. these are real things that happen which nobody shines any light on cause we always get this kinda response that its something we have to hide away and we can't talk about. personally I love what this show is doing I just wish there was more out there like it.

[yeetboiextra]

the moment that i knew i loved her

was not when she was all dressed up

glamorous and beautiful

no

she is always glamorous and beautiful

but i knew i loved her

when i held her in my arms

as she sobbed

while we stood in the parking lot

somewhere in the middle of nowhere

i held her in my arms

as she sobbed

waiting for the ambulance

to save the boy she loved

who was dying

i held her in my arms

as she wailed

and sobbed

and confessed to me how she loved him

how she promised him she wouldn't cry

and how she was so deathly afraid

that he wouldn't be okay

so it was then

when i held her in my arms

and we cried into each others shoulders

when i smelt her vanilla shampoo

mixed with strawberries and salty tears

that i realized

how beautiful she was

and that never in a million years

would i imagined loving the girl

whom i have known my entire life

yet alone I'd fall for her over her shampoo

-- for a girl with such a manly name, you're the most beautiful person I know.

[yeetboiextra]

always

you said that i could always go to you

whenever something was bothering me

or i had a problem

you said you'd always be there for me

and you'd help me get through it

but how do you expect me to go to you

and confess that i have been infatuated with you

for eight months

and eleven days

or

two hundred fifty four days

six thousand sixty nine hours and

three hundred sixty five thousand ,

seven hundred sixty minutes

could i still always come to you?

[yeetboiextra]

-- april 21st, 2018, 9:49pm in the ER waiting room thanking god that youre ok

[yeetboiextra]

"I've learned a lot about myself in the past year. I leaned how sensitive I am. I learned how everyone is fond of me. I learned how I have such a passion for literature. Yet I still struggle with many things. I see all these poetry quotes online. I quite enjoy poetry. Poetry, classical art, theater. I enjoy them all. The quotes are about beautiful, kind girls who change others lives. I want to be one of those girls. I think it will be a hard process. They seem so mystical. Yet they don't exist. Everyone is quite fond of me already, so that helps me feel as though I'm not starting from rock bottom. That helps, in some ways. But I don't really want to seem like that kinda girl to anyone else. Everyone has a different vision of that girl. I want to see my own, in myself. I plan to do this by working on others before myself, while also not ignoring my own needs. I want to be selfless, and begin to be kinder and more caring. Maybe I can do this by speaking softer, and smiling more. Listening to what people have to say, and answering with questions or advice. I'm very curious. I'm sure I'll have many questions whatever the topic is. I should still care about myself however. I take comfort in self care. Also crying. I like to let it hurt until it can't anymore. You can't avoid the inevitable. I also want to begin to write more. Maybe keep a journal. Jot down ideas when I get them. Start becoming more organized, too. Make my notes neater, clean my room, simple things. I feel like if I do these things I will become more in tune with myself and my life. I vow to read more poetry, look at more art and watch more musicals."

-- Me, in a desperate last minute attempt to put my life together.

[yeetboiextra]

first post. I've been really into the yandere aesthetic lately..if you can't tell.