from the ashes i rise

[yeonws]

STAR BOARD: PHOENIX IT’S BEEN A WHILE vlive | open event 

there’s a bit of anxiety and anticipation that thrums through yeonsu as he sits idly in the small room by himself despite the exhaustion weighing on his aching muscles. their promotions for ALL IN were fit into a short few weeks and there was nothing but tight-packed schedules for everyone. to top it off, yeonsu would be filming for ‘my little country’ as soon as they returned to korea after finishing all the interviews scheduled in japan. 

although busy, yeonsu still wanted to make time for ruby. during a schedule like this, it was something that served more as a break for him rather another task he needed to complete or a quota to fulfill. a moment alone where he could take a breather while still being able to enjoy the company of others without having to or being expected to overdo himself. hopefully. after all, lives didn’t always go to plan but when they did, it always left yeonsu feeling more refreshed. 

once he’s pulled himself together to put on a good expression and lighthearted aura, he officially starts the broadcasting option on vlive. before he can start to worry about how long or if anyone will join, the number of viewers immediately shoots up and the comments start flowing in. 

“hello everyone,” yeonsu smiles excitedly to the camera, trying to hide the nerves still jumping underneath his skin. it had been a good while since he had done a vlive by himself like this. but before he realizes it, he’s falling right into the usual pattern of greeting everyone once a few minutes pass by.

“hello everyone, this is yeonsu,” he announces glancing back and forth between the camera and extra phone he has to monitor the comments. “it’s currently 9pm in tokyo right now. we just finished a long day of filming and now i have some time to spend with all ruby before the night ends.”

“as some of you know! recently, it was announced on pan that i’ll be joining the cast of ‘my little country’. i really wanted to tell all of you guys sooner but my company said to wait haha. i hope that you guys were excited to see that news when it came out. it’s been a while since i’ve been on any shows so i’m very happy for this opportunity. i can’t wait to meet everyone and see what the producers have planned as well.”

and just like that, yeonsu falls into a comfortable flow of updating the fans on what’s been going on and what to anticipate. the nerves fade away without his realization and are soon replaced with a light euphoria.

[ questions/comments yeonsu responded to throughout the vlive ]

q: what did you eat for dinner today? a: today i had some donkatsu! with some sprite, it was very savory and fulfilling. i think that’s the best donkatsu i’ve ever had. 

q: do you think your members will miss you while you’re away for filming? a: ahah, i think maybe they’ll miss me to be there to clean the dorm. maybe they’ll miss someone to pay for snacks too haha. 

c: make sure to take care of your skin!! it gets hot on the countryside!! a: my mom gave me a good sunhat to use! i don’t think i have any sunscreen packed… maybe they’ll have sunscreen on set right?

c: yeon, you need to be able to cook to survive on the countryside! the convenience stores are completely different TT a: ahah, i am a little worried about that too. i think as long as we can make rice and fry eggs we’ll be okay… maybe haha… we can always make soup too. don’t worry too much! i’ll do my best so that you guys will enjoy watching!

[yeonws]

AUDITION DAY SOLO

“for the formalities. as we discussed beforehand, the company has had an eye on you since your time with stonex corporation. unfortunately, before we could get in contact with you, you had signed with future media. now that we’re here, we can assure you a bright future at yuseong entertainment. we believe you’ll fit right in especially with the plans we have.”

hearing these words, one might be over the moon. if you were promised a future with the company, not even on your first official day but your audition day, wouldn’t you be excited?

except…

these are words that yeonsu has heard before. words that were all too familiar. empty promises. yet, he’s still standing there, taking everything they have to feed him. because it couldn’t get worse than this right? yuseong entertainment was more well-known than the past two companies he had been a part of. as well as the fact that the ceo, yoo jaewook, had much more credibility in the industry as a veteran idol. so maybe the promises this time actually held weight to them.

“we hope that you’re looking forward to be a part of us just as much as we are to having you.”

with the statement and kind smile from the representative, yeonsu simply smiles before nodding in agreement.

“please take good care of me.”

and like clockwork, they dive into the details of what’s expected in this audition. the spiel of the process goes by quickly, rules and expectations are made clear, and the judges seemed relaxed about everything considering that yeonsu has already been accepted into the company. the speeches, discussions, filming… everything was being done just to officialize his entrance into the company. 

yeonsu goes breezes through the recording. he dances when they ask him to. he sings when they ask him to. he raps when they ask him to. the only thing that yeonsu can’t shake off is the numb feeling, spreading through the back of his mind as each second ticks by with him listening intently to every word they say. it’s hard for him to feel enthusiastic about it all even when he knows he’s on everyone’s radar in the best way possible. 

it’s hard because he can’t shake off the feeling that things are still too good to be true no matter how much he wants to believe everything they say. hearing that they have plans for him already should make his heart beat in excitement. instead, it has him slowly processing. as if preparing to be let down again - to have the rug pulled from underneath him. hearing how they already had everything prepared beforehand so that he could begin training again as soon as possible should have felt like an honor. everything about that day, that moment, should have instilled unshakeable faith and belief that he would debut. 

but it doesn’t. yeonsu does his absolute best to make sure that none of that shows through though. he puts on the best facade he’s been forced to in all his years so far to make sure that it seems like this is the best day of his life so far. because it should be, being given such a warm welcome with plans for a guaranteed future here. above all, yeonsu knows that to prevent any of the past and losing favor, he needs to keep up the image they have of him. 

only then, will he really be able to keep his position in the company and hope for a true debut.

[yeonws]

chill playlist

paired well with cool spring mornings.

[yeonws]

officialphoenix i’ve been studying japanese lately! i think it’s difficult but my tutor said i’m doing well. today’s question of the day is 食べ物はありますか？ ( do you have any food? )

[yeonws]

MARCH SCHEDULE japanese lessons

yeonsu doesn’t take himself as someone who gets by on talent. he believes that hard work, diligence and perseverance are why he’s gotten as far as he has. but, now with the tutors telling him that he’s actually doing pretty well compared to their expectations… he’s starting to think he might have a knack for learning new languages.

of course, it’s something he would never admit out loud and to keep his head from getting too big he reminds himself that it’s most likely the time that was spent processing the language after the first time he had learned japanese. 

yes. it definitely has to be that he thinks. because the first time around, he felt he had struggled a lot picking up the new language. but… when he voiced this out to his tutor, they told him he had done well back then too according to his past tutors. 

“it’s alright to admit that you’re good at learning new languages yeonsu. in fact, why not try taking lessons from their other tutors for the other languages too!”

he’s sure that they’re just being nice after hearing that he was close with etoile’s sol. but he does appreciate the suggestion and reassurance. after all, the worst that could happen is him miserably failing and being proven wrong that he in fact, does not pick up languages that quick, but otherwise what could be the harm in learning more? along with the consideration that their fanbase was bigger internationally, it might have been something he should have invested more time into earlier than later. 

for now though, yeonsu puts more effort into his japanese lessons. for a change, it’d be nice to be able to interact online and go from simply reading comments aloud to actual comprehensive conversations. translators weren’t going to be around all the time. the small break he had been looking forward to hadn’t ended up taking the turn he had wanted. however, it was providing some growth and for yeonsu, that was enough. 

[yeonws]

MY LITTLE COUNTRY solo video

ding! ding! ding!

yeonsu groans out loud as he turns at the sound of his phone alarm ringing. he’s already slipping back into the realm of sleep as the ringing of his phone starts to drift further and further away. but, the quiet whine of ‘hyung’ from one of his other members pulls him back and he grabs his phone before snoozing the alarm.

5.00am.

with another quiet groan full of sleep deprivation, yeonsu grabs the camera lying beside his pillow and turns it on. he presses the record button and gets a few seconds showing the time on his phone before he turns it off. the silent debate that had been going through his head within those seconds had him giving in and returning back to sleep.

the second time that yeonsu’s alarm goes off, it’s 5:45am and he finally pushes himself to get up and get ready for the day. there wasn’t much on his schedule perse, but exactly also the reason why it was easier for him to film this video for my little country at his own pace and convenience.

once he’s in the bathroom, he turns on the camera and sets it on top of the sink. he records his daily routine in silence, washing his face, brushing his teeth, moisturizing and then retreats to the living room. at this point, the sun has barely begun to rise but it’s rays of light peeking from the east can be seen.

yeonsu records the city from inside for a few seconds before turning it back on him.

he looks up with a small smile before walking towards the couch as he finally greets the camera, “good morning everyone. this is yeon of phoenix.”

with a stifled yawn, he rubs his bare face and the remaining sleep from his eyes before getting settled.

“it is currently now 6:20am. i’m not the only awake out of all our members but i am the only one awake out of the ones still at the dorm right now. today i’m filming this video because i will be joining the cast of ‘my little country’ on the countryside very soon. uhm… i will also be showing you guys what i can contribute to the cast once we are together.”

yeonsu then gets up and casually treks over to the kitchen before he aims the camera towards the sink full of dishes.

“tada!”

as quick as he displays the mess, he returns the camera to himself while laughing softly.

“i will be doing the dishes that our messy members have left behind! we usually have a system and help keep the dorm clean together. but every now and then everyone gets busy with their own schedules so the dorm gets messy and things pile up. so when i have time, i will usually take care of what i can like the dishes today.”

“my little country viewers, haha, this is the skill i can bring to our cast out in the countryside. i’ll be the tidy cleaning fairy.”

with that, yeonsu props the camera at an angle on the drying rack before he begins washing the dishes. he’s sure that the company’s editing team will speed things up and so chooses to stay silent as he goes through the entire process of cleaning the dishes down to scrubbing the sink until it sparkles. only after he finishes with drying off the counters does yeonsu redirect his attention back to the camera.

“and here we go! everyone, look at how clean the sink is. oh- you can even see my reflection in it,” yeonsu chuckles and he leans over the sink with camera in hand. and truth be told, the silhouette of yeonsu’s head can be seen at the bottom of the sink.

“now that i’ve cleaned the dishes and sink, i will be showing you all the items that i have chosen to bring with me to the countryside.”

with that, he sets the camera down onto the dining table before walking away to grab his things. his footsteps can be heard moving away and coming back before the camera shakes from impact as he places the items onto the table. after a bit of more shuffling, yeonsu grabs the camera before angling it towards the first item.

“i called my mom earlier this week and when i told her about the show, she said that i should bring a good sunhat with me in case if we have to do any farm or garden work. this way i can protect my face and neck if the sun gets too strong while we’re outside.”

he twirls the hard around to show the straw weaving of it as he explains why he’s chosen this piece before moving the camera onto the second item.

“here i have one bottle of medicine and one bottle of vitamin gummies.”

each bottle is strategically placed so that the brand names are turned away but the pills and gummies in each can be seen.

“i don’t like getting sick and even though going to the countryside means there will be fresh air, there’s still the possibility of getting sick so i want to make sure i have something to prevent and help if i do feel anything.”

“and lastly, i thought of bringing a generator but my company said i couldn’t bring that haha, so-” and then he pans the camera to the last item, “i’ve decided to bring an alarm clock. i don’t really like waking up early… it’s hard to do that haha but i like being productive and waking up early lets me get more things done in a day. so since we can’t bring our phones, i’ll be using this to help me wake up once we start filming. it’s also a quieter alarm clock since i don’t know all the details about the sleeping assignments. if i have a roommate, i don’t want to be rude and wake them up too early.”

with the last item being shown, yeonsu turns the camera back on himself and smiles brightly as he gives his ending greeting.

“alright! that was all that i had to show you everyone today. i’m very excited and happy to have the opportunity to join the cast of ‘my little country’. i hope that you guys will enjoy the show too and what i have to bring!”

[yeonws]

1, 16, 27

1. answered here.

16. if you could choose your next comeback, what concept would it be? [ wc: 118 ]

“ah that’s a good question haha. if i could choose our next comeback, it would be really different from what we usually do. i’d want to try either a darker concept like exo’s monster. or something like exo’s ‘call me baby’.

it’s really different from what we would usually do but i’m really curious about how i would and how my members would pull that off. i think it would be a nice change of pace and concept. the energy and vibe are completely different but the delivery of it is what would make or break it. i think our members would be able to pull off a concept like that despite the image and concepts we’ve had.”

27. what are the words you’d like to hear right now? and from who? [ wc: 119 ]

“mm…

i think… it would be really nice if i could talk to my older brother right now.

he was the one who encouraged me and helped build my passion for dance and performance. despite the fact that he was classical musician, he never once tried to control or influence what i was interested in to match his biases or perspectives. that in itself let me shape myself as an individual and begin to learn the things i liked or didn’t as i grew up.

now that i’m here, still doing what i love, i would want to hear him say that he’s proud of me. i think that’s what i want to hear most from him right now.”

[yeonws]

20 and 22!

20. if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? [ wc: 193 ]

“if i had three wishes, mm, my first wish would be for a never-dying phone. it would be great if i never had to worry about charging my phone again or worrying about losing my charger. even if there wasn’t service or wifi, the phone would still be useful for taking pictures or using it as a flashlight. and i would be able to play music or play games too whenever i want for however long i want.

my second wish would be… hmm. that i can make whatever food i want to eat appear. i think that would make life so much easier. for one, i wouldn’t have to run to the store all the time haha. moreso, if i want to have anything homecooked, i’d be able to eat it fresh even if my family wasn’t around.

my third wish would be for phoenix to continue being successful even twenty years from now. i think it would be amazing if we could leave a great legacy behind. something that rubies will be able to look back on as well and be proud of if they see us again in the future.”

22. what about yourself would you change? [ wc: 117 ]

“you would think that after the past few years of being an idol i would get better at it, but no… haha. i would want to be better at going on variety shows. i’ve heard mixed comments about how i’m not very good on variety shows, but at the same time my company encourages me to go on these shows because my genuine reactions is what the audience tends to like.

which i guess in hindsight isn’t all that bad, but… i think it would be nice to be known for being funny versus being a blockhead haha. some people just naturally talented when it comes to entertainment and i would be nice being one of them.”

[yeonws]

"Sorry about that. I didn't see you there."

yeonsu has never been one to really show his affection. it’s not that he’s unaffectionate. just that, he simply struggled with expressing himself after the tragedy of his older brother. through the years though, he had slowly learned how to become more open about what he was feeling through the bond he had with his younger brother and groupmates. it was something he found to be both relieving and stressful.

it’s helped him with his other relationships through the years and how to maneuver his way through the industry after debut. granted, he didn’t have the same talent that some of his members had at being able to say what they were feeling and describing it to a ‘t’ on the spot but he was aware of the changes his efforts had brought forth. more importantly, the individuals who brought it out of him more naturally.

so when he runs into bitna at the company, who looks a little more than dejected along with the fact that she hadn’t realized who he was in her rush to leave… yeonsu was immediately concerned.

“bitna,” yeonsu calls out softly to coax the younger female to notice that it’s him. “is everything okay?”

[yeonws]

10, 14, 17

10. what are your top 5 artists? [ wc: 249 ]

“oh, i wish this was easier haha. i don’t think i would say i have any solid tops since i usually listen to artists here and there. once in a while i’ll find someone who just has great songs one after another but um… i guess off the top of my head… i really admire sam kim’s music style and artistic skills.

mm i’m realizing most of my list is going to consists soloist it seems. i also really enjoy dean’s music. he’s got a great vibe and range when it comes to style and genre. and to finish the singers i’d have to list jooyoung. they’ve all got such smooth voices and although i am a vocalist i know my skills aren’t anywhere near what they can do. i really admire their vocal skills and creativity.

and as someone who does love rapping, i have to say i also truly admire zico. i think all the different images and concepts he’s been able to display and show… having that variety is what makes an artist amazing. being an idol and still being able to be distinguished as a rapper without either images hurting the other but rather complementing, that’s something i’d like to achieve for myself.

lastly, the aren’t together anymore but when they were, i really enjoyed the concept of lucky j. i think they did great work as a trio and it would’ve been nice to see them producing and performing for a little longer together.”

14. do you have any hidden talents? [ wc: 150 ]

“ahah, this is a little embarrassing but i can drink cold things without getting brain freeze. i don’t know if that’s much of a talent since it’s not something i can do or not… i was just born this way? haha. the funny thing is that i didn’t even realize that about myself until we had a bet among the members.

everyone had a large slushie and whoever got through theirs first wouldn’t have to do any cleaning for the dorm that weekend. i finished my drink in about ten seconds but at the end of those ten seconds, everyone started getting brain freezes. i thought it was just because i was too competitive haha.

it was only after that, that they asked how i didn’t get a brain freeze that we figured it out. that was the last time we ever had a bet related to eating anything cold.”

17. is there any advice you would give to someone who would want to be in your position? [ wc: 150 ]

“mm, if it’s the position that i have in phoenix right now, i would tell them to focus a lot on their performance and dance skills. as the main dancer, your job is going to be representing the talent of your group when it comes to dance and ability to perform. our vocalists and rappers, they get to shine on the stage with the emotion in their voices. but for the ones of us who don’t get as many lines, we don’t get that same opportunity.

for us, our emotions and passion have to be shown through our dance and performance. stage presence is very important because of that. if you don’t have a certain amount of charisma or a specific aura to draw in your audience, it may become very hard to perform if you start to feel like you aren’t excelling at what you were meant to do.”

[yeonws]

wschorong​:

Chorong shouldn’t be there. She knew it, the passing raised eyebrows from staff knew it. However, when it came to the matter of showing support for her friends, namely for the few she happened to have in boy groups. The Yuseong staff were wary allowing her to linger around, particularly when it came to Phoenix’s dressing room so she could say hello and offer a supportive snack of heart shaped gummies. She lingered around the hallway television broadcasting the stages, swaying and occasionally mouthing the words to the songs she knew so well. It also gave the opportunity to monitor other boy groups she’d been so curious about. 

A door opening slightly down the hall did not enter her mind quite yet. Nor did the sound of stumbling, until she swiftly turned to head toward the washrooms ㅡ too stuck in her own little world to realize it had been her original intent.

Her hand reflexively slapped over her mouth to stifle a scream of surprise. ( One would think that a girl with such an affinity for horror movies would be immune to jump scares. ) The grip on her shoulders is strong enough to delude her active imagination into thinking the person must be rather desperate. 

“Oh! Yeon, it’s you.” Chorong meekly lifted her hand in a wave toward the Phoenix member. Although their paths crossed occasionally and she had a good friend in the group, she did not build up much of the courage to approach any other of the nine on her own accord. She supposed running into each other like this ㅡ quite literally ㅡ would have to suffice. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going!” 

She unconsciously rubbed at her arm, only looking up at him once she regained her footing. But in doing such, Yeonsu’s strange demeanor was all too visible. Washed out skin, a light layer of what she can only assume is sweat.  “I think you guys are performing soonㅡ Wait, are you alright? You look like you’re about to pass out…”

“ah chorong, no need to apologize, it’s not your fault,” yeon manages to mumble with a faint smile after realizing that it’s chorong. 

relief washes over him because he knows that chorong won’t give him a hard time about the unintentional intrusion. he still remembers the first time he had officially met her on the set of their pre-debut music video shooting. everyone had been awkward back then, nervous about perfecting the shoot. nervous working together. nervous working with another female. but everything had went fairly well. at least in yeonsu’s memories. 

chorong had been nothing but polite and professional about the shoot and although he didn’t run into her as much afterwards, he did hear her name every now and then between his members. so to him, it served some comfort in that moment knowing that neither were complete strangers to each other. only… it would have been much more enjoyable if yeonsu would have been able to greet her under better circumstances.

and it another wave of nausea hits him when she points out just how horrible he looks. at this point, even he can’t lie to himself anymore if even chorong was willing to point out the obvious.

“no, i think i had some bad food… or something. if i could just find something to hold off the nausea…”

“have you finished your recordings for the day?” yeonsu inhales deeply before slowly exhaling. “i don’t mean to get you wrapped up with my situation if you’re busy.”

surprisingly, talking to chorong has seemed to keep the nausea settled. maybe it just winded down to finding a distraction so that he didn’t keep focusing on the feeling creeping up and down his spine. considering he had been avoiding everyone like the plague, he hadn’t considered that maybe he just needed to talk with someone until they could get back to the dorms. also, avoiding everyone meant that if any accidents happened no one would be in the splash zone because the very last thing yeonsu wanted to do was vomit on everyone. 

[yeonws]

YEON ; stage presence moodboard

each stage is like a rebirth, where he feels fire in his veins; like a phoenix, he burns and rises.

[yeonws]

1, 2 & 19!

1. is there a moment you wanted to quit or thought about giving up? [ wc: 203 ]

“ah, i think there are more times than i can remember about wanting to quit, to be honest. a lot of times it can just be a repeated thought of questioning if i can go on because i’m tired but never anything too serious. if i had to share the most serious moment though, it would have to be when i joined yuseong entertainment. they had told me that i would be joining their newest boy group they were preparing for only for me to find out that i would have to go through a competition show to fight for a spot to debut.

at that point, it was when i really thought ‘what’s the point in even trying anymore?’. during the show, i shared my previous experiences of almost debuting twice but each time falling through. i thought that yuseong would finally be the one company that held true to their words. and in the end i did debut with the group… but… the road to get there. it wasn’t what i had expected at all and hearing that i wasn’t guaranteed a spot after all made me feel like i was having my chance at debuting taken away all over again.”

2. what would you be doing if you weren’t an idol/musician? [ wc: 144 ]

“mm, if i didn’t become an idol or musician… honestly… i don’t think i ever considered that thought. i guess it sounds a little silly now that i’m talking about it and thinking about it. but i have a bad habit of not giving up. during all the years that i kept training and jumping from company to company, the only thought i had was that i would have to become an idol one way or another.

i think i would have found a way to make it somehow. once i realized how much passion i had for performing and wanted to be able to do something with it, there was no choice about it. i guess that’s where it gets a little dangerous considering that i still didn’t give up after two times. i don’t know why but i just can’t give up.”

19. what is your perfect idea of success? [ wc: 151 ]

“i think my idea of success is how many lives i’ve made a difference in. i-

i want to be able to do something i enjoy while uplifting and giving others something to enjoy as well. that’s why i’m really happy whenever ruby tell us their stories and experiences. from something as small as they enjoy our music to stories about how they’ve found their lifelong friends through being fans of phoenix.

i think… being able to make such an impact, big or small, is still an impact after all. maybe someone had a bad day but they listened to a song from us and it made them feel better. even after fans of phoenix are no longer fans, they’ll still have their friends and i think that’s the kind of impact i want to be able to make and be proud of.

that’s what i think being perfectly successful is.”

[yeonws]

open, 7-11 second floor of broadcasting company

yeonsu isn’t a morning hater. to say he’s a morning person would also be wrong. in reality, he doesn’t quite mind the early morning. it’s peaceful, quiet and makes him feel like he’s got an early start in the day. except, the one thing he doesn’t really enjoy is the whole waking up process.

yeonsu isn’t the fastest to get up. it takes a bit of coaxing from a number of alarms going off and repeatedly being snoozed before he’ll find enough willpower to get up and start getting ready. however, the one thing he enjoys the most out of the entire morning is breakfast. the first meal of the day where he refills his body with the energy it needs to function. and along with it, a good cup of coffee.

through the morning rush of getting to the broadcasting company on time though, yeonsu was unable to get any breakfast or coffee and he’s feeling a little more than famished by the time they arrive. he’s told that food won’t be arriving until another two hours considering it’s only 4am,  unless if he opts for a prepacked bento box from the 7-11 on the second floor.  and it doesn’t irk him per say, just seems to encourage the grogginess welling in his eyes to grow.

so, he figures that’s better than starving for another two hours but when he gets to the 7-11, it’s doors are locked and lights turned off with a sign stating their hours have been pushed back for the day and it’ll be open at 5am instead. and his plan b has now fallen through. still more tired than anything, yeonsu gives into settling for a warm can of coffee from the vending machine settled just around the hallway corner.

500 won in and not one, but two canned coffees come tumbling down.

yeonsu grabs both and guesses that’s just a little luck for the inconveniences of the morning. it’s nice.

as he’s about to pop open the first can to take a sip, he spots someone rounding the corner, walking up to the entrance of the 7-11 before they sigh out loud after seeing the sign.

looks like they must have been looking for something to eat as well. he decides he might as well share the bit of luck he was gifted from the vending machine.

“late hours must be because of the holiday,” yeonsu says as he approaches them from behind. “a second can came down with the one i got. would you like it?”

[yeonws]

closed @wschorong​, lovesick backstage pre-recordings

for the sake of his makeup artist, yeonsu doesn’t splash water across his entire face like he wants to. instead, he simply rinses his mouth a few times before taking a breather, hovering over the sink. he’s more than ready to just pack things up and go home but they still have a collaboration stage to record before the end of the day.

and no. he hadn’t thrown up. but he really wished he did so that the nausea that was hitting him full force right at that moment would go away.

the pre-recording for the special stage is coming up soon though and yeonsu pulls together enough strength to stand up and leave the washroom. as he’s exiting, he makes a sharp turn to the right before crashing into someone. out of reflex, his arms shoot out and grab the other’s arms to steady them ( and really, steady himself ).

it’s a little out of character for him to be so forward but he’s more sluggish than usual. and he doesn’t mean to grip them as firmly as he does, but as soon as he realizes what he’s done, his hands immediately retreat to his side. in that moment, he does his best not to sway from side to side or look like he’s about to throw up on them. the last thing he needed to do after trespassing their personal space was to offend them further.

“i’m so sorry, are you alright?” yeonsu asks quietly.

[yeonws]

chocolate sick ; solo tw: minor food poisoning? from expired chocolate

“phoenix is on in forty-five minutes.”

yeonsu assumes that’s the voice of a set coordinator yelling from the entrance of the makeup room. his eyes are closed as the makeup artist is working on the finishing touches of his look for their first stage. the soft brush tickles his nose a few times before disappearing and then a smaller brush on his cheekbones.

in all honesty, with how relaxing the featherlight touches are to his face right now he could probably fall asleep. a ten minute nap wouldn’t hurt anyone right?

and then he hears the dreadful words, “finished.”

involuntarily, yeonsu opens his eyes to take a look at his reflection in the mirror before he gives a satisfied nod.

“thank you noona,” yeonsu gives the artist a small smile before pushing himself off the chair and heading towards the door. he’s a bit envious of his the other members who are still seated in their chairs getting their makeup and hair done. if only he could be them and get in a few winks.

but he doesn’t mind it too much and instead goes on a search for something to munch on.

the last time they had eaten properly was a few hours ago and he was starting to feel the tinge of hunger playing at the edges of his stomach. a light snack and drink would definitely suffice considering they were going to be on stage soon. and he knows exactly which drink it is that’ll satiate his appetite until they get to eat later.

a cool smooth orange juice.

except for some reason, at the broadcasting company, he’s only found one vending machine that sells it. to top it off, the vending machine was one tucked away in the far corner where there weren’t many people around on the third floor. seeing as it’s only one floor below, yeonsu doesn’t mind the short trip and figures it’ll be nice to get away from all the hustle and bustle going on with preparations for prerecordings.

just as he gets to the stairwell, the door is pulled open and he’s met with a flushed looking female. she seems caught off-guard and nervous. in his surprise, he fails to notice the lack of employee badge hanging around her neck and instead catches the small bag of chocolates in her hands.

before yeonsu can say anything, she beats him to it, timidly asking, “i-i’m sorry… do you know where clover’s room is? i’m a new intern and lost my way around the floors.”

to that, yeonsu doesn’t question it considering he’s seen a fair share of lost and confused interns.

“ah, they’re just down the hall. go to the very end and their room is on the left side.”

as he steps to the side, she nods in thanks and begins to walk past him. he waits for her to continue but she suddenly spins around to face him again.

“y-you’re yeon from phoenix right? would you like some chocolates? i’ve been tasked to hand some out to artists as little gifts,” she says before pulling a small neatly packed one in her bag, holding it out to yeonsu.

he figures why not? he had been looking for a light snack to begin with anyway and seeing as it was white day it wouldn’t hurt to have some chocolates.

“thank you,” yeonsu says before she turns and scurries away, giving him no chance to initiate anymore conversation. he brushes her behavior off as simply being nervous and starts towards the third floor. as he’s going down the stairs, he pops a few pieces of chocolate into his mouth while humming quietly.

///

“ten minutes until phoenix’s stage!”

everyone is talking over each other as stylists are putting together the lasts of the member’s outfits together.

“where’s yeonsu?” a stylist yells over the crowd as she begins running around the room frantically. “he still needs to put these pieces on before his mic gets set up! he was supposed to be here five minutes ago!”

it’s then that yeonsu comes hobbling from the back of the room, using the wall to hold himself up.

“i’m right here,” he calls out weakly.

and that’s when the stylist gasps and hurriedly runs to this side.

even with the makeup he has on, they can see how pale he’s gone with the hollow expression he has on his face. there are beads of sweat that stick on his forehead and temples and he looks like he’s about to fall over at any second.

“what’s wrong? you look sick! minhyeon!”

with that, the makeup artist who had been working on him earlier comes running over before her eyes pop wide open. she immediately grabs tissues and begins dabbing yeonsu’s face while the stylist continues with putting on the last accesories of his outfit.

“what happened? you guys are going up in a few minutes and you look like you’re about to fall over.”

yeonsu shakes his head, trying to brush everyone’s concern and the worried looks cast from his members away.

“i’m fine. i think i just ate something bad,” yeonsu explains as he lets the artist touch up his face.

“we need to get to stage, you guys are on in four minutes,” his manager finally pipes up after hearing that he wasn’t feeling well.

yeonsu simply nods before pushing himself off the wall as the stylist helps fit his earpiece in and secures his microphone transmitter to his pants. he knows from how frantically the artist is trying to add to his makeup how bad he must look. so, yeonsu smiles past a grimace as he stands up straight and begins following his members filing out the door.

it’s a statement made in vain. but one of effort to convince everyone else, and remind himself that he just has to.

“i’ll be fine.”

[yeonws]

officialphoenix don’t be tempted by anyone else. i’ll be your one and only romeo.

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