Chorong seemed determined not to look Suji in the eyes, shy and nervous and withdrawn. Suji watched as familiar dark eyes looked at everything around them but her face. The building, the street signs, even the pretty flowers Suji held in her arms close to the chest. To say Suji expected another apology would be a lie. The first time Chorong apologized for how badly their relationship fizzled out and ended was awkward, one of the last encounters they had before Select began filming. It’s no less awkward and clumsy now, yet still endearing. Maybe she’s just more forgiving than she thought she was.
“You don’t need to apologize again.” Suji sighed, her free hand brushing her short dark hair out of her face before looking Chorong in the eyes directly. “I’m not going to say it was okay, but it wasn’t unforgivable.” Suji tapped Chorong’s gloved hands, bringing them down so the two of them could look at each other. “I missed you too. How about we start with the explanation of things first, and we can see where it goes from there?”
Despite how sure she sounded, she couldn’t help but feel the slightest tinge of uncertainty, a question raising at the end of her own offer.
The sniffling was preemptive. Behind the thick scarf, she sucked her lower lip in to still its quivering before it spread to her entire body. Her hands shook anyway. It took every modicum of self-control ( and desperation to remain with a last shred of dignity ) not to dive onto all four in a bow. There were better ways to be apologetic ㅡ it seemed as if her offer of flowers was doing well enough. She would know if only she had the courage to look up at Suji. She prepared every bit for the other girl to easily brush past her. Not for this.
Perhaps the saying was true: absence made the heart grow fonder. The further she fell away from Suji, the more she came to realize how severe of a mistake she made. There she was, with her litany of incorrect assumptions and not one sliver of self-esteem to push her forward. Had she not been so riddled with doubt, despite their relationship, where they stood now could have been completely different. Back then, they were both entirely different people. Chorong, a bright-eyed trainee, and Suji, an idol struggling to pull through a sudden rise and drop from fame. A drastic change in matters of the heart could have done nothing to help.
“I can’t help but say sorry... It’s kind of a habit. Because I really do feel sorry all the time. Um...”
The admission emerged in a weak voice, softer spoken that she usually was. Had they not been in public, she surely would have broken down crying on the spot like last time but facing Suji with more tears would be a disservice to the both of them. Nor could she run away, one of the ballads she loved so much running through her head.
Chorong moved closer, boldly taking hold of Suji’s hand to pull her more off to the side. Was this truly the proper way to do this? The proper place? She at least wanted to get the both of them out of view before throwing her arms around Suji, an embrace she hoped that might be reciprocated.
“I don’t know if I can explain myself that well, though... You know I’m not really that good with words. I-I can try! Just... um, can we go somewhere else? If you’re not busy!”
