Ace Rambling

Angry rants about being aro/ace. ♠️ Feel free to repost. 👍

[yes-im-asexually-active]

I know pride month is about to end but before it does I wanna shout out to lesbians because it seems that whenever I feel like I can’t talk about an aro/ace experience because it’s too weird for allos to get and someone might use it to invalidate my orientation a lesbian admits to having the same experience and I don’t have to explain it like its a weird aro/ace thing anymore.

Can’t explain how asexuals can enjoy porn? Lesbians admit to enjoying gay male porn. Can’t explain what an unobtainable crush is? Lesbians admit to having crushes on fictional men. Etc. Etc.

Y’all probably didn’t realise how validating it was to hear my experiences shared by allos but whether you intended to or not you make me more confident being my whole self so I just wanted to wish you all the same.

Happy pride month.

(Also honourable mention to straight men with “ a thing” for Ryan Reynolds, you also help me explain how I can have a thing for people without it being a sexual or romantic thing so thanks, guys.) 

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Here’s a Valentines day reminder that St Valentine is also the patron saint of beekeepers so if you’re single today you can still celebrate by:

Buying a bee hotel for your garden

Making your own bee hotel out of sticks and leaves

Planting bee friendly flowers. In the winter you can plant clematis, crocus and snowdrops to name a few

Visiting here for more ideas and information

Happy Valentines day! 🐝💛

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Another year, another thing you didn’t know St Valentine was the patron Saint of: plague

Obviously everyone is suffering from a global pandemic right now but by supporting Unicef we could help deliver 2 billion Covid-19 vaccines and 500 million tests and treatment for health workers and the most high risk people on the planet.

Even small donations help but share if you can’t. Donation and more information in the link here.

Happy Valentine’s day.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Happy Valentines day! 

This year we’re celebrating St Valentine the patron saint of mental illness by supporting Mind.

Mind offers mental health information and support to the public, as well as professional training and consultancy to improve workplaces. They also campaign for legislation that’s beneficial to those suffering from mental illnesses.

They’re a charity and rely on donations and volunteer work so if you have the time or the money consider supporting Mind for Valentines day.

Happy Valentines day. 💙

[yes-im-asexually-active]

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Update: I got him

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Remember when puns were an ace stereotype?

What was that about??

[yes-im-asexually-active]

CW: Transphobia

So everyone’s talking about misgendering trans people they don’t respect. And yes we all know why we’re talking about it but deflecting and derailing with “Wah, I’m not respecting [you know who]!” every time this comes up isn’t fucking acceptable, because this isn’t even about them and you know it.

Just to keep anyone from bringing them up, I’m going to use a completely unrelated example. Youtuber Lily Orchard is a cartoon reviewer that gained a reputation for her controversial opinions. In one video made by another cartoon reviewer about her they said they would be “nice” by “using her preferred pronouns”.

When you consider correctly gendering a trans person the nice thing to do, and when you hinge it on your respect for them, you’re telling everyone that you see it as a privilege as opposed to correctly gendering a cis person which we all see as a given.

Let me unpack that for you: you’re saying that - in a world where trans people are oppressed - that not oppressing them… is a privilege.

To put in into perspective, imagine if I claimed that me not saying the N-word was me being nice? Would you not think that I sounded like someone who wants to say the N-word? Someone who still thinks the N-word but just refrains from saying it? Someone who thinks that the N-word is perfectly acceptable, but I’m even nicer to not say it? Would you not think that I was a racist and pompous asshole?

And that’s what you sound like to trans people because if not being oppressed is what you consider a privilege, what you call a kindness, then being oppressed is the given, the normal, the neutral state. You are telling every trans person that you don’t see transphobia as the cruel thing, but what you think they deserve by default.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Trump is launching his own social media app Gettr.

The mission statement of the app is to "fight cancel culture" and "promote free speech". But I wonder if the trumpies would still love it if that speech happened to be pro-LGBT+?

The app launches at 10am July 4th, it'd be a shame if it were spammed with LGBT+ and leftist memes, right?

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Aro/aces: *post on aro/ace accounts for aro/ace people about aro/ace problems*

Allos: "Stop talking over us, we have more important problems"

Aro/aces: "We are literally in our own space right now!! How can we be talking over you here!?"

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Sorry I had a premonition.

The year is 2052 you walk into the toiletries isle of your local supermarket and find that the menstrual pad shelf is split in two:

The array of brightly coloured pads you know on one side and on the other, rows of black packaging with bold metallic silver letters spelling out each brand name always followed by "MEN" in all caps.

Functionally, they are exactly the same as the pink pads but they cost half as much.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Here's a Valentines day reminder that St Valentine is also the patron saint of beekeepers so if you're single today you can still celebrate by:

Buying a bee hotel for your garden

Making your own bee hotel out of sticks and leaves

Planting bee friendly flowers. In the winter you can plant clematis, crocus and snowdrops to name a few

Visiting here for more ideas and information

Happy Valentines day! 🐝💛

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Another year, another thing you didn’t know St Valentine was the patron Saint of: plague

Obviously everyone is suffering from a global pandemic right now but by supporting Unicef we could help deliver 2 billion Covid-19 vaccines and 500 million tests and treatment for health workers and the most high risk people on the planet.

Even small donations help but share if you can’t. Donation and more information in the link here.

Happy Valentine’s day.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

“I’m okay with gay characters as long as they have a reason to be gay”

The best representation is actually when they don’t have a reason to be gay!

Things become normalized when they can be added to a story without any plot relevance.

For example, if an author were to write “he took his briefcase and headed to work” that’s normal, the author doesn't have to give a reason for that because we assume the reason is it is normal to take a briefcase to work. But if an author wrote “he took his gun and headed to work” Well that’s not normal! We better find out his reason for doing that! We’re all assuming that that is a set-up for some epic pay-off now!

Well if you want something to be normal you have to treat it like it is normal, and that means adding it in with no plot relevance until the audience stops thinking “wow, really odd to have gays in here! there must be a good reason for them!” and starts thinking “oh. gay. normal.” (or rather just not thinking about it at all lol)

[yes-im-asexually-active]

CW: Exclusionism

Excluding people for “straight passing” is inherently aphobic/biphobic/etc here’s why

So you lot love to tell me that you’re not doing anything wrong because all you’re doing is pointing out the fact that technically we don’t need to be supported by the community because we have the option of being safe and “accepted” (but not really) if we just stay in the closet and pretend to be straight.

But when you say we shouldn’t have the option of being out but still accepted and supported by the LGBT+ community then you’re saying you think we all should have to stay in the closet or else live with the biphobia/aphobia/etc

Now, call me crazy but when someone says to me “I think everybody under this identity should never use it again and I don’t care if the ones who get outed have to suffer for it” I might just think that that someone just hates the identity and supports its erasure and the acts committed against the people who use it. 

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Love HMDSCute because its the only game that lets me pick a platonic best-friend option alongside its romancable NPCs. 

I realise that that only happened as a mistake but I still think more games should do it.

Also HMDSCute lets me find a random dirty woman sleeping at the bottom of a mine and suddenly declare her my best-friend and move her into my home without ever exchanging a word with her and I think that is also something more games should let me do.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

CW: Aphobia

The split attraction model is not harmful. It is helpful.

The “harm” the above is referring to is not the result of the SAM but actually a result of allos who do not understand the SAM using it entirely incorrectly. This surge of hate for the SAM is a bit like saying disinfectant is harmful because kids have swallowed it; it would have some merit, if disinfectant was for drinking. But it’s not, it’s for disinfecting, and it being used wrong doesn’t change that, and doesn’t make it any less important and helpful. The SAM is not for allos to split two allo labels, its for aros/aces to accurately label themselves, and it being used wrong does not make it any less important or helpful.

People’s failure to acknowledge this and their decision to demonise the SAM – even correct uses of it – actually harms the aro/ace community by stigmatising their ability to accurately label themselves and their insistence that the SAM is nothing more than a social construct that we can just forget about is invalidating to aros and aces. And if they got their way and the SAM was done for, some day young aros and aces could just grow up wondering what was wrong with them, thinking they were broken, not understanding why they can only feel one kind of attraction.

But I’m pretty sure most of the folks tweeting this knew all of that already. Because to me it’s fairly obvious that the SAM isn’t a harm to the community and it’s extremely obvious that aros and aces need it. I’m pretty sure that this is another round of aphobia, because if we think about it, what would happen if we all decided that the SAM was evil? Aspecs would suffer for it, as I’ve already said but also they wouldn’t be able to be aro/ace and L, G or B anymore and to an aphobe who wants to exclude aspecs from the LGBT+ community, that probably sounds like a pretty sweet deal, being able to exclude aros/aces regardless of whether they’re gay or not.

But the really suspicious part is THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THEY’VE TRIED THIS, aphobes have tried every way they can think of to make the aspec community out to be problematic, they said we stole “aspec” from autistics when we didn’t, they said we hated lesbians when we didn’t, they said we thought gay sex was sinful when we didn’t, aphobes have always been in search of ways to demonise the aspec community, to nitpick any issue, or to even make up issues entirely, anything to make us look like a problem, they’ve always tried it, they’ll always keep on trying it but we – the entire LGBT+ community – are smarter than this, we’re not going to buy into this, this time we’re gonna show them that it doesn’t work anymore.

[visibilityofcolor]

I think people, women and girls especially, need to know that if you have a good thing going with another female friend, roomate, a cousin, a siblings, etc–then you don’t have to feel like marriage is like and endgame or something (if that makes sense). Ya know, lemme just make this girl centric. 

Let me clarify. I see a lot of girls having happy relationships with their sisters, cousins,best friends, roommates to the point where they’ve been living together for years and are comfortable with it. And becuase of that comfort with the girls they’re living with, a lot of women just end up wanting to live/stay with their roommates, best friends, sisters/cousins, etc., for the foreseeable future. 

And when a lot of girls bring this up, they’re met with “well one of you is gonna get married” or “no boy friend in the picture” or “well you can’t stay together forever/you can’t plan your lives around each other” or “what about if one of you gets a husband”

and like–seriously, just stop. when girls mention wanting to spend their lives with their boyfriends and shit, people don’t give them this much flack. girls are expected to pack up their lives to move with their boy friends/husbands.

but god forbid, two girls are just happy with each other, are in a place of comfort with the other that they wanna live together and spend their lives together (either romantic, familial or platonic), then people start to criticize them. So my point is, girls if you’re living with another girl and have been for years and you two are comfortable staying with each other and have basically spoken about just wanting to stay with each other, then do that. if this person makes you comfortable, makes you feel safe and happy, and supports you (whether romantic or not!) then do not let people ruin that bond or shame you for not getting married or being with a man or anything like that. like if you  have something good going, then keep the good going.

and this doesn’t have to be romantic (if it is that’s fine too!!).

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Remember, kids, society's insistence on everyone living the same cookie-cutter life with the same kind of relationships and same milestones is ridiculous, its all arbitrary nonsense and you can just let go of it, refuse to take input from society on what you should be doing and ask only yourself what will work for you. What will make you happy?

[yes-im-asexually-active]

[yes-im-asexually-active]

Trans women are women

Not all lesbians are TERFs

JK Rowling is human garbage.

[yes-im-asexually-active]

If exclusionists who constantly say the catchphrase "asexuals are valid but not LGBT" actually thought asexuals are valid, they would say it when other exclusionists are being aphobic to remind them that asexuals are valid. But it is exclusively used against asexuals to remind them that they are not LGBT because that's all it really means. The "asexuals are valid" part is just empty words tacked on save face because they think that if they just say those three magic words no one can call them out on their aphobia.