in your orbit, bitch

hello, my name is matt and if i'm currently posting, i'm currently wasting my time

[lowpolyanimals]

Horseshoe Crab by @ohshitseveralrats

[deathgasmic]

slut era (laying in bed at 9pm on a saturday night)

[oarfjsh]

yo

[pokemon-personalities]

this image perfectly captures how i feel most hours of the day

[eggorf]

decadence

[nonbinary-cherry]

[egberts]

every single day i think about the post that's like "cats be in the litter box like ksh ksh ksh ksh" because every single day my cat DO be in the litter box like "ksh ksh ksh ksh"

[nullifier]

[egberts]

this is really what it's like you guys

[retrogamingblog2]

Team Galactic stole my Ponyta

[nate0u0]

[babyanimalgifs]

[scareqrow]

i wuv her and ive decided that she is a good person actually and her heart is not frozen.

[bishonen]

trans woman telling people to stop using the fucky term “womxn” because its a bullshit attempt at being ~inclusive of trans women~ that ends up transmisogynistic and this has me losing my mind

[alejandr-oh]

[emiko-matsui]

my favourite ways griffin mcelroy has been described:

by his brother

you look like if hepatitis was a person

you look like a carpet fucked a nerd

by the internet

looks like what you'd find if you googled "pictures of a normal man"

looks like god only used middle sliders when making him

[transdirkstrider]

my personal favorite is “looks like you hit random on a game about accountants”

[wizardworm]

this picture i took of my girlfriend taking a picture of our cat is absolutely killing me

[schizm-deactivated]

reminds me of this

[wizardworm]

@kisakisaxo

[kisakisaxo]

THAT IS HIM. THAT’S THE FACE. 

[kisakisaxo]

If anyone would like to see the end result of the picture I was taking of him:

[werewolbachia]

opposite of impostor syndrome where I do deceive my way into an industry and I enjoy it

[werewolbachia]

>:)

[officialspec]

good morning queens, what seven posts are we all reblogging today

[benditlikekorra]

[jaubaius]

Dolphin.exe accidentally installed …sound on

[xdoingmybestx-deactivated202210]

thank u I love this

[popsunner]

Things that happened at work today that makes me sure I’m living a goddamn fever dream (keep in mind I live in a religious and conservative town, and this is a thrift store)

Lady asked where we keep our valuable items and when I pointed at the glass shelves of assorted Xbox 1’s and old Apple watches she got mad because she thought we would have “discounted Gucci”

Coworker came out today and changed their name and my manager tried to page them to the front by their dead name, paused for two seconds, said “cancel [deadname]” and then called them up by their actual name. All seven gay employees including me cried so she panicked and bought us cookies from the vending machine

A guy legit proposed to his girlfriend in the store and my manager gave them half off the wedding dress they bought ten minutes later.

A guy came in absolutely zooted, asked if our floor supervisor was Bob Ross (tbf, Albert does kinda look like Bob Ross), cried over a little cow statue, and left

The coworker who came out asked the only cishet guy who works here to welcome them to the skater boys. He went over the store wide speaker and said “Sodern is a part of the skater boys. Everyone clap” it was followed by a good twenty seconds of confused clapping from customers.

Some guy told me I have “exotic eyes” (they’re blue), and I, apparently too tired to remember what customer service is or think about what I was saying, responded “thanks it’s the incest”

Someone called the fire department because they saw someone vaping. The fire department was very nice and all bought matching t-shirts on their way out.

Our speaker is apparently connected to Bluetooth.

All Star by Smash Mouth started playing at 8pm and looped on repeat for an hour.