I came here to win

the second coolest person

[pombons]

[fayeswitchcraft]

*delicately blows a kiss to all the spirits in my room* please dont knock anything over i live here

[meupaudeoculos-blog]

[nosdrinker]

he’s cured

[haveitjoeway2-deactivated201608]

actually if you look at the heart monitor hes flat lining

[bill-11b]

Gotta die somehow.

[krinkshaming-deactivated2017021]

he’s cured

[prguitarman]

A miracle

[dollribbons]

[zhsylvia]

[najaaozixxjsiaaiaiia]

[kylesbogusjourney]

I have this really bad habit of sending two unrelated texts back to back but bridging them with an “also”

So it’ll be like “hey have you seen this funny tweet” quickly followed by “also the news said polio is back”

[candyredterezii]

argh mY FUCKING HOT POCKET NUTTED ON ME

[molsno]

dani have u perhaps considered never using that exact phrasing again

[candyredterezii]

Look man my hot pocket dump ed it’s load onto me what the fuck else am I suppose to phrase it as you ignorant cockmunch

[molsno]

“well shoot, some of the sauce from my Hot Pocket™ spilled onto me. I suppose I’ll head over to the faucet and wash the sauce off my hands. perhaps a change of clothing is in order, as well. drat, this really ruined my day”

[candyredterezii]

the day i ever talk like that is the day i hope you fucking shoot me.

[pdontcry]

[dat-soldier]

[a0n2-fb93p4zmv365zagdj641]

[lifetimespecial-deactivated2023]

the only gym worth conquering

[jasper-rolls]

[richharry]

View this post on Instagram

[mister-lucky-bunny]

Young man

There’s no need to feel down

I said young man

[volukai]

[glitchicorn]

[bloomflowersbloom]

[voulair]

this is so negative its just that the parka is too small :/

[binches-deactivated20220521]

stop fatshaming my baby

[hee-homie-deactivated20210103]

me: *says something thats kinda risky*

someone: *doesnt reply*

me @ myself: