ooh this is a good three sentences

shark vs the universe
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Xuebing Du
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Three Goblin Art
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Keni

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styofa doing anything
DEAR READER

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NASA
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@yodellingpickle
ooh this is a good three sentences
wish i could go outside without putting shoes on
my feet sensitive : \ it’s cold : \
socks get dirty : (
Put on shoes then
Best thing I’ve heard all day
“Like 2003 Evanescence?” She knew EXACTLY what to do.
Art makes every room cooler.
Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.
This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance brings me ungodly amounts of rage
god can’t hear you.
10.10.16
Lets take a moment to appreciate the straight up disgusting piece of filth that is Rudy Giuliani.
things we know about john mulaney based on his comedy specials
-may have killed princess diana
-once drank perfume
-has never been killed by hitmen
-thought he had shit into a doctor’s hand
-“and also with you!”
-pretends to eat dinner at 4:30 to trick his dog
-has a penis (allegedly, according to a baby)
-sometimes he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD
-has responsibilities (all these fuckin’ markers)
-told Bill Clinton that he can do whatever he wants forever
-went to college for the whole time
-doesn’t care for these new nazis
This is what the animal crossing developers think “cool” means
theyre damn right yhou fucking moron
SUCK ON MY BALLS!
John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City (2018) dir. Alex Timbers
therapist: how was your week?
me: mm.. i can’t remember
What’s your fantasy?
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
someone: it’s okay! you tried your best!!
me, with no idea of what my best even looks like anymore:
listen I will sell my soul to Andy Samberg just to see John Mulaney guest star in Brooklyn Nine-Nine
endless gifs of john mulaney ★ [5/?]