Hiiiiii,So I was thinking one with Yoongi where everyone thinks he's "controlling/in charge of your reaction"But in reality you have him wrapped around your fingers and he's just obsessed with you...In a cute way but not in an unhealthy way
I hope I executed this properly? Im ngl I read it twice and was like đ§huh but we figured it out! Tysm for your req
Behind closed doors. Yoongi sfw
From an outside perspective, Yoongi was harsh. Your relationship was filled with grumpy faces followed by a soft shove of his hand or a âdont do that hereâ. It was as if he was training you to behave, or to just accept affection as he gave it.
You heard a stiff, embarrassed âstop itâ more often than you heard âI love youâ, but.. that was his way of expressing himself. He was a greedy lover, wanting all of that precious affection where no one elseâs eyes could see.
Alone, at home, he was a magnet. You couldnât get him off of you.
Currently he was half asleep, laid out on top of you with his hair all in his face. You brush it out of his eyes, watching as he takes a deep breath and settles more against your chest. You reach to trail your fingers up and down the length of his spine. He pulls his arms in tighter to keep you close.
Yoongi's weight was comforting; a solid pressure that made the rest of the world feel miles away. When you touch him, he presses closer, seeking more contact. His nose brushed against the fabric of your shirt before finding your collarbone.
"Stay like this," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep. âwith me.â
âYouâre clingyâŚ.â You tease lightly, watching as his nose scrunches a little and he turns away from you, eyebrows pinched.
âStop itâŚâ he grumbles, as per usual.
âCome on,â you press. âAdmit it.â
He glances your way then, a warmth coloring his cheeks. You feel him move up closer to catch your lips in a chaste kiss. âSo what. I like to save all your love for right now.â
The corner of your mouth quirks upward at his attitude. Even with that defensive scowl plastered on his face, the way his body refuses to create any distance between you tells you everything you need to know.
"Saving it, huh?" you tease, your fingers finding purchase in the silky strands of his hair again. "That sounds suspiciously like you're addicted to me."
Yoongi huffs affectionately and nuzzles into the crook of your neck again. His breath is hot against your skin.
âShut up.â he mumbles against your pulse point, though there's no venom in it. He moves his hands up again, palms flat against your ribcage so he could thumb at your skin beneath your clothes.
The chaste kiss he gave you moments ago lingers between you. His lips lazily find your collarbone, then the soft skin of your throat. "Besides," he adds, "if I admitted it, you'd never let me hear the end of it.â
title: baile inolvidable (explicit)
pairing: ex!yoongi x reader
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; exes to lovers au
summary: thereâs only one person that youâre better off never running into again. but when fate decides itâs time for you to face him, you prepare yourself for complete destruction. because he never told you what you wanted, and you never told him goodbye.
note: literally nothing redeeming to say i wrote this in two days all bc of a guy wearing a jersey lol barely edited so pls excuse any typos!
note 2: also tell me why i wrote all of this and then looked for a title, only to fucking weep when this song matched perfectly. anyway, here we go, first new fic in years! enjoy and iâm so sorry if it hurts a bit.
warnings: language, explicit scenes, an unforgettable dance, pining, angst but truly who is shocked anymore, men that give The Ick, exes, yoongi in that gd madrid jersey, chains (hi hello itâs me), hoseok also needs his own warning, tension, more angst, kissing as a warning, guilt, yearning, yoongi hands, the ending is worth it<3
disclaimer: all characters are my own and just happen to look like members of bts! purely a work of fiction. just had a lot of feelings.
mood: baile inolvidable - bad bunny ; qlona - karol g, peso pluma
explicit warnings: under the cut!
drop date: june 30th, 2026, 7pm est
word count: 13k have mercy!
explicit warnings: manhandling, public sex, rough sex, hair/head pulling, oral (m rec), choking, cowgirl, spitting, reverse cowgirl, unprotected sex, breast play, fucking an ex lol yes thatâs a warning, multiple orgasms, the chains stay on, hella backshots, emotional sex, creampie OOP, club sex reader is bad, yoongi loses his gd mind, couch sex, wall sex, chair sex, umm yeah alexa play like animals thanks
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âWhatâs taking you so long!âÂ
Groaning, you concentrate on getting your lashes just right. âTold you itâd be just a minute!âÂ
âI know.â Hoseok pops into your hotel bathroom, deep neckline and even deeper scent of cologne almost making you jab yourself right in the socket. âBut itâs been ten.âÂ
Itâll end up being a lot longer than that if he keeps cocking that perfect brow. Shouldnât he know the rule of getting ready already?Â
Done with your current task, you blink and inspect yourself in the wide mirror spanning the master bath. âYeah, a minute means twenty. So I have ten to spare, right?âÂ
Bright teeth shine as he shakes his head. And you know itâs because youâre both slated to be super early anyway.Â
Everythingâs going according to schedule. All your old friends flew in yesterday, and the plan for today is to head to dinner to watch the night game with everyone. After that, youâll walk straight to the club a few blocks down that youâve heard to be the best in town.Â
Well. Best in town for absolute eye candy. Taehyung warned that everyone thatâs been to Lo Prohibito knows the dress code is simple but effective: luxurious. Unless your face card is so lethal you get in on that alone, or you happen to have celebrity status.Â
And your confidence can only take you so far. You look fucking good, but you arenât risking being turned away just because you were lax getting ready.Â
So ten more minutes it is. Hobi will just have to deal with it.Â
Goddamn, he could get in without a single issue, though. Honestly, he could be wearing a linen shirt and shorts with sandals and theyâd mistake him for a millionaire. âIâll be ready before you know it,â you say over your bare, perfumed shoulder. âYouâll be able to see your lover soon enough.âÂ
Hoseok shoots you a grin before huffing out, âGot me, huh.âÂ
âYouâre the easiest person in the world to read.â Leaning over your makeup bag, you rummage through your brushes. âWhatever youâre thinking is always written all over your face."Â
Quick laughter coats the bathroom in more light. âI canât help it, okay! Itâs always been that way.â When you focus in the mirror and pat your face, he suddenly drops two pitches in tone. âSorry about yours.âÂ
Here you go again. You know exactly what heâs talking about.Â
âHobi,â you sigh. âI donât care anymore, okay? Itâs been a month.âÂ
âI know, butâŚâ Expelling a heavy, sympathetic breath of his own, he leans against the double door entryway. That dulcet yet gravelly tone of his rolls across marble floors as he says exactly what you donât want him to, âYou seemed pretty happy with them.âÂ
You were. In fact, you were more than happy.Â
But something just didnât feel right. Sure, the days you spent with your most recent fling were perfect. You felt comfortable with them, you admired how thoughtful they were and how attentive.Â
It was the nights that made you more than hesitant.Â
Because no matter how many times you slept together, you never felt truly understood. What you wanted, what you needed? They would get so close to getting it right, only to never reach that level of intensity and passion you were looking for.Â
So you broke it off one quiet, cherry-red sunset on the beach weeks ago.Â
Only to find out that they were seeing someone else the whole time anyway.Â
Fuck love. To hell with happiness. Why do all your relationships end up this way? Why do you always attract the people that seem perfect on the surface but hide so many flaws underneath? Itâs starting to fucking annoy you and you may damn well swear to the single life forever.Â
Though. There was one relationship that didnât exactly end this way.Â
But youâre never thinking about that one again, so no point in shuffling through those beautiful, tragic, regretful memories now.Â
âAnd now Iâm happy without them,â you finally respond to Hoseok, who tears his gaze from the white floors to see you staring in the mirror. âProbably happy without anyone else, actually.âÂ
What a fucking lie.Â
âI mean, thereâs time to find someone you...â Your friend pockets a hand while adjusting his loose top, shadows naturally accenting his abdomen. âNever mind. See you out there. Love the red.âÂ
You swish the silken floor-length material of your gaudy, quite revealing dress. âThank you. This is my favorite part, look.âÂ
Hoseok watches as you stomp your leg out of the thigh-high slit so comically it catches him off guard, cackling before a lighthearted, âCareful with that!âÂ
âSays the man whoâs practically naked.âÂ
All you get is a shameless shrug before your friend spins on this heel to leave, no doubt checking the texts on his phone.Â
At least he's excited about seeing his gorgeous pull after so long. And you do not blame him one bit. The way he looks at her? She may as well be a goddess because his gaze turns almost reverent every time.Â
A blurry memory consumes your mind like a haze, and you see completely different eyes with just as much fervor. They watch as you mount slow, chests slick with sweat and breathing deep from hours ofâ
Manicured hands grip the sink as your brush skitters onto granite counters.Â
Fuck. Never again.Â
Never, ever, ever again.
Pull yourself together. Youâre a whole different person with a whole different future. That version of you is one you left far behind, as well as the life that came with it.Â
You extend ten minutes into fifteen.Â
And Hoseokâs outright whistle at your emergence lets you know the extra time was worth it.Â
â
â
Dinner is loud and vibrant, with the whole restaurant locked in on the game and erupting in cheers when the home team scores. Or at least, the team that the majority of fans want to win scores.Â
You arenât completely sure, because there are jerseys of every country everywhere you look. Itâs the one time you feel a sense of togetherness, with everyone giving each other friendly jabs and your group doing and saying anything to rile each other up.Â
Hoseok is downright lethal with his date, the two of them showing off jawlines that can kill as they watch the nearest screen. But theyâre on the other end of the long wooden table, so you have to find other people to converse with.Â
Unfortunately, you find that the person sitting in front of you is a stranger, seemingly knowing someone else in the group and just happened to tag along. He quickly offered small talk when you all started ordering, which you already found a little awkward because you were trying to focus on what to get.Â
Now, he keeps giving you more and more information about his achievements and endeavors, not once asking for your name. Figures.
Both the friends youâre sitting next to are no help, either.Â
To your left, Jeonggukâs checking his phone for the fiftieth time this hour, scrolling through videos to avoid having to speak to anyone.Â
And to your right, Taehyung cheers and stands when another goal is scored, locking elbows with the stranger behind him and drinking from his glass mug. Apparently he had been making fast friends while you were entertaining the guy that keeps staring at you. How cool. Happy for him. Can you both switch seats?Â
Your wish doesnât get granted for another hour. So that means youâre still talking to and giving polite encouragement to this gentleman. Though the term gentleman is very, very generous. It became more than obvious he just wants to fuck from the way he's been shamelessly ogling your plunging neckline.Â
Mercifully, Jeongguk finally saves you, leaning in and pretending to show you a reel or tiktok or whatever the fuck heâs scrolling through. Instead, a text he typed into your message thread is all you see.Â
Wanna go outside?
Going along and laughing at his fake share, you give him a grateful smile and nod. Turning to the man watching you with curiosityâand is that really jealousy?âyou excuse yourself,Â
âWeâre gonna check out the second floor! Be right back.âÂ
Not even waiting to see nor hear his reaction. Â
â
â
Outside the restaurant and not on the second floor, you can finally breathe again, watching the city come alive with its vehicle rush and streetlight hum.Â
Next to you, your tattooed savior takes a long hit of his vape, and you run a hand across the thin gold chain around your neck.Â
Without your permission, another memory slips through your defenses. And this one proves sharper, astonishingly clearer than the first.
Hands grab a string of gold from a nightstand, and you instantly ache because you remember what comes right after. As soon as itâs clipped onto a slim neck, you watch the necklace lower, and lower, right before you angle your mouth up to take it between yourâ
âFuck.âÂ
Jeongguk whips his head right as your eyes snap open. âYou okay? Whatâs wrong?âÂ
No. There are a thousand things wrong. You didnât even fucking realize your vision went dark until light flooded out your unwanted nostalgia.Â
Fuck, you hadnât thought of that summer afternoon in years. Your reaction was visceral enough to spurn an oncoming headache. âNothing,â you whoosh out. âWhat time is it?âÂ
âAlmost time to head over to Lo Prohibido.â Gripping his phone, the man asks with concern, âYou sure youâre good to go?âÂ
Head pulsing, you nod. âYeah, Iâm fine, just dehydrated. Can you pick a city that won't try to burn me out next time? I'm down for traveling but it's been hell here.âÂ
Unconvinced and unfazed, Jeongguk cocks his head to the door. âLetâs go back in. I know your favorite person is waiting, but you gotta drink water.âÂ
âDonât,â you groan. âHeâs cute, but I got the biggest ick like halfway in.âÂ
Your amused friend giggles as he holds the door open, âYou lasted a lot longer than I thought you would.âÂ
Laughing when more cheers erupt from inside, you give his jacketed arm a playful shove as you look down the street. âIâm nice, okay? Donâtââ
Your heart.Â
It booms.Â
In an instant, the whole world blurs, lights and bodies making solid, serpentine lines and even sound itself rolling to a deep, dull hum.
The only one you can see. The only person you can make out with perfect clarity.Â
Is the one youâve been trying your fucking hardest to not remember.Â
Staring right at you with eyes youâll never, ever forget.Â
Yoongi.Â
Heâs just down the way, standing amongst a group with a striped jersey, dark hair swept so perfectly your chest pangs. Even though everyone around him is animated and laughing, the look on his face makes it undeniable heâs not focused on anything else.
And with a stopped heart, neither are you.
Until your lower back is held, tugging you out of the dream as Jeonggukâs question is laden with worry,Â
âSeriously, whatâs going on? Do you need to go back to the hotel?âÂ
You jolt away from his touch, but the action isnât warranted. For fuckâs sake, heâs a friend youâve known just as long as you've known the spectre down the street. Why did you feel the need to escape his worrisome hand? He isn't like the guy you just met. Â
If that dude had been the one to touch you, though, you wouldâve fucking decked him. You are not letting him feel an inch of your skin, and that includes the majority of it youâre baring at the back.Â
âNo, IâmâIâm fine,â you manage to get out. âJust thought I saw.. Never mind. Water.âÂ
Yoongi wouldâve damn near murdered that creep, too.Â
Shit.Â
Right before stepping back in, you turn to peer back down the sidewalk, brain concluding that what you saw was your imagination and your heart adamantly disagreeing.Â
However, thereâs no sign of Yoongi anywhere. That same group of people continues to chitter away outside, but heâs nowhere to be seen.Â
So your logic is sound. It was just a dream. Thereâs no way heâd be here, and he looked way too fucking handsome to be real anyway. Maybe your mind is just playing tricks on you as an act of revenge for making it remember him this much today.Â
Because youâre remembering everything. The way he knew exactly how to get under your skin. The times he proved so patient. The way he absolutely knew how to act under your sheets.Â
And his. And elsewhere. Anywhere the two of you decided to make love.Â
And that singular word is exactly why your flame burned its brightest before choking out.Â
You were ready.Â
He wasnât.Â
And you regret your decision to leave more than anything else in your entire life.Â
Because you couldâve fought harder. You couldâve given him more time. But when you confessed under a blanket of stars and didnât hear those three words reciprocated, every single celestial plummeted from the sky, plunging you headfirst into a deep, dark ocean of insecurity and bubbling self-loathing.Â
The night you left, you left everything. You left your room, your apartment, the city you called home your entire life. Like a coward that couldnât face rejection.Â
Because you didnât even tell Yoongi goodbye.Â
And thatâs the last damning reminder you hurl at yourself before rejoining your friends inside.Â
â
â
You readily down two glasses of water.Â
Inwardly laughing at the fact that the same dude straight up left to âmeet up with his brochachos.âÂ
â
â
Lo Prohibito is decibels louder than the restaurant, and that includes the moments everyone cheered to the max.
A dazzling laser show beams from behind the raised DJ booth, and machines shoot out air to provide much needed circulation and boost the spread of confetti.Â
To your delight, everyone here is just as pretty as you imagined. Youâre thanking all your lucky clovers that you were accepted inside, strutting in on your heels with chin held high.Â
Maybe not as high as it could go.Â
But you refuse to let anything else bring you down tonight. Youâre supposed to be having another great outing, spending it with your friends and enjoying the nightlife while youâre still able.Â
Bright colors span across every surface as a thumping bass shakes your toes, and you wait for the rest of your group to trickle in to find a good dancing spotâand a much needed drink because you are desperate for one.Â
At this point, youâll pay any price to forget whatever the fuck you saw earlier.Â
Be it a figment of your imagination, or a devilishly attractive ghost, you just need to wipe that achingly handsome face from your mind.Â
Thereâs no way heâs here. And even if who you saw was real? It wasnât the man you loved.Â
Because thereâs no way Yoongi would even look your way again.Â
Not like you want him to anyway. Forget him. He gave you everything except the one thing you ultimately wanted, and you couldnât live in his moonlight without your stars slowly burning out.
Breathe. Focus on the present. Stay in the now.Â
âCome on,â he instructs, holding your fingers before grabbing your waist. âStay with me.âÂ
âSorry,â you whisper to your stumbling feet. âI just keep messing up that damn step and itâs annoying.âÂ
âI know.â He grips your hand, turning so that you land against his chest, comforting tone soothing your burning ear, âBut you got a lot more chances to get it. We got time. Stay in the now.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
âThatâs my girl.âÂ
âCome on!âÂ
Your past whisks away with the club fog, and you follow Hoseok and the rest off the crowded floor. âWhere are we going!âÂ
Hand on the nearest winding staircase, he turns with a smile. âGot us VIP! Weâre up here.âÂ
âNo fucking way?â How the hell did Hobi manage to do that? Wasnât this place booked up the last time you both checked yesterday? âHow!âÂ
Cheekily, the man simply plucks at his undone overshirt and wiggles, smirking as his date doubles over in a laugh.Â
âOh, youâre a freak,â you call out behind him with praise. âThank you for your service.âÂ
Thank Jung Hoseok and those abs indeed because the VIP booth is a godsend. Sure, itâs still crowded on the second floor, but at least you donât have to worry about standing shoulder to shoulder the whole night. You have somewhere to retreat to when you need a breather.Â
Which Jeongguk is already taking the most advantage of, settling into the middle of the booth and planting elbows on the long table stretching end to end. Music blares while people shout all throughout the club, but he seems quite zeroed in on his phone.Â
Maybe you can both use each other as a scapegoat again if you need to leave. Heâs been enjoying himself for the most part, but you can tell heâs extremely ready to go home and the night just started. If you werenât desperate to let loose and forget years of your life tonight, you wouldâve offered to get shitty fast food with him and walk around the city instead.Â
Mm. That still sounds like a backup option.Â
âWho wants drinks!â Taehyung calls out from the far end of the booth, standing to wave someone down and glancing at everyone giving him their orders all at once. âLetâs just get bottles!âÂ
Perfect. He knows exactly what to do, so you let him drive and settle into the booth to wait for the liquid ailment to your problems.Â
This club has it all, you muse as you take everything in. From endless bottles and extravagant cocktails sailing over the crowd, to sparkler shows and pops of streamers raining down from above, itâs a paradise of a getaway.Â
But the outfits? To your surprise, you feel slightly out of place, even arguably overdressed wearing the most expensive thing you own. Yes, there are loads of tens walking around, even some elevens and twelves if youâre honest. But you do see quite a few people in outfits as casual as Jeonggukâs leather.
Either way, almost everyone is dripped in the most lavish jewelry and clothing, from designer to exclusive to wait someone got in wearing a jersey?Â
How the hell? Despite the outfits you saw there hasnât been anyone in here with a jersey, is he famous? It's the same one you saw on the sidewalk when youâ
Fuck. Thatâs not him, is it? You canât quite see his face, but that back is soâŚÂ
No. No no no. Youâre staying here for awhile so that better have been another mind trick or you're taking that backup plan with Jeongguk immediatelyâ
âHere,â Taehyung catches your attention while hastily holding out a glass. âThis is what you wanted, right?âÂ
You take it with shaky fingers. âYes, itâs perfect, thank you.âÂ
When you turn back, the red and white stripes are gone.Â
And you release a breath you didnât even know you were holding.Â
âYou okay?â
Turning, you notice that Taeâs eyes are extremely focused on yours. You nod as you down your shot in one go. âYeah, Iâm good.â
His honey rasp slows on the way out, âYou sure..?â
âYeah.â When you push more of the stinging, sweet alcohol down, you decide to start telling him what you saw. âI just⌠I thought I sawâŚâ
Taehyung is one of the only ones that never questioned why you left town. Which youâre grateful for, because you couldnât handle all your other friends sending you text after text after call. It was fucking overwhelming, but you had one person that just allowed you to make decisions and live with them.Â
âSaw who?â He asks, cutting through your vision with long fingers in a wave and calling you back to reality.Â
âNo one.â You donât even wanna say his name. It carries the weight of the world. âForget it! Iâll be good as soon as we start.â
Unconvinced but letting you have space, Tae doesnât pry.Â
âIf you say so.â Â
â
â
For the next hour, everything is great. You play stupid drinking games with your friends, cheer for the most random shit the house emcee yells, and you start to slowly wash the unwanted memories from your mind.Â
At one point, Jeongguk stuns the section by dancing on booth cushions and swinging his jacket, revealing he only had a thin tank underneath. Many people stare slackjawed at his physique and understated choice of outfit, but you can only cackle with your friends because you all know heâs gonna go right back to his phone in seconds. He just really, really likes the song playing.Â
And youâre enjoying the DJ set, too. As long as they donât play specific songs, you can enjoy the rest of the night in absolute peace.Â
Especially the one song that haunts your every waking moment. The first time you heard it, in a club somewhere along pink lemonade sand, you trudged knee deep into the crashing tide and didnât leave until the sun dipped under the horizon.Â
Because it hit too close to home. And your deluge of tears gave back infinite saltwater to the sea.Â
Relax. Donât throw any possibilities into the atmosphere, especially when your mind is fucked up tonight. Your friends are heading down to the dance floor, so go with them and forget everyone else.Â
Making sure your drink is finished, you feel ice hit your lips before clinking it down, rushing to join your group at the top of the staircase.Â
Only to stutter so close to the edge your heart leaps out of your chest.
It keeps falling, and falling. Because thereâs no mistaking this time. That man you saw wearing the outfit thatâs starting to haunt you? Heâs talking animatedly to someone across the second floor, dusty pink elbow perched on the railing with a drink in his still so veiny hand.Â
And your mouth turns sour at the way his shoulder is tapped by pretty nails, tongue hot and darkly spiced when Yoongi just laughs into his cup.
God. Heâs here. Heâs devastating without even trying.
And, as your blasphemous logic reminds you, that beautiful smile will never be yours anymore.
But that doesnât stop you from staring. Because while on the street, you couldâve argued he was a hallucination birthed from dehydration. Right here, in this moment, youâve sobered up in a snap and you know for a fact what youâre seeing is real.
Maybe it was better when you assumed he wasnât.Â
At least then, you didnât have to entertain any worse outcomes than just seeing him. You didnât have to think about how youâd feel seeing him so close to someone else.
Looks like the universe is giving you the final consequences of your escape. Yoongi has your fate in the warm, rough palm of his hand, and you know heâll do nothing but let it fall to the rumbling floor below. Just to watch with unblinking eyes.
âHey, you gonna go down or what?â
Turning, you start to move to the side, embarrassment heating the skin of your back that was just lightly grazed, âShit, sorryââ
A strong arm pushes you sideways into hard metal as a duo of guys head down the stairs. You figure itâs an accident, but that doesnât stop your face from contorting in pain and a curse to fling from your mouth. Because damn that fucking hurt.Â
âDude, watch it!â The one behind looks back at you to apologize, âSorry about myââ
Oh⌠ReallyâŚÂ
The guy from dinner halts in his apology, and your brow lifts right before he waves you off.Â
Waves you off.Â
At least your intuition is always spot on. Good riddance, you were completely valid to ditch his brochacho ass earlier.Â
Rolling your eyes skyward and even aiming a petulant tongue at his retreating back, you scoff before leaning on chilled metal, letting a moment pass before heading down to Taehyung and the rest of them.Â
Where are they anyway? If you donât spot them from here itâs gonna be hard to find them on the.. ground..Â
Your heart looks up before you do. Â
And you catch your ex watching intently from across the way, phone sliding from his ear before he straightens to start walking.Â
âŚTowards you?Â
Fuck.Â
Itâs been bad enough catching glimpses of Yoongi and seeing him entertain someone else. If he gets one foot right in front of you? Everything youâve worked so hard to build up against him and the haunting memories of your relationship will collapse into dust. You canât bear him seeing how you havenât changed your fucking mind.Â
To your utmost pain, all roads have always led back to him. No matter how deep you relate to or click with someone, no matter how happy another person makes you, no one has come close to how Yoongi made you feel.Â
Because heâs the only one that understood even the darkest parts of you. And heâs the only light in your life you ran away from.Â
Thereâs a reason you watch every sunset. Thereâs a reason you stand on the beach back home and donât move your sandswept legs until the last rays give way to the ocean line.Â
Itâs because of the guilt. The guilt of turning away from the warmth you held in your hands and the warmth you left behind.Â
Your eyes stay tethered as your ex makes his way down the long side of the upstairs balcony, partiers smushing together and bottles roving over his head as ladies take them to VIP tables.Â
Based on the heat in his eyes? Yoongiâs on the universeâs side. Thereâs no way heâs seeking anything else other than revenge.Â
Shit, shit shit. This isnât good for you. Literally nothing great nor healthy can come out of this if he ends up in your orbit. One word, two words, and even worse, three words from those unforgettable lips would destroy you and never let you recover.Â
But your hands stay tight on the warming railing. And they wonât fucking let go.Â
Downstairs. Go down the stairs. Go.Â
Yoongiâs almost here. All he has to do is round the corner. He's close enough for you to notice the silver chains adorning his neck.
And the last thing you think with a withering heart is how devastatingly handsome heâs become.Â
With a tight breath, you pelt high heels downward one hasty step at a time. Winding, winding, spiraling like the thoughts storming your mind. The further down you go, the farther away he is.Â
Your heel catches on your dress before you stumble, but you donât look back to see if Yoongiâs even still behind you.Â
Chill the fuck out and donât fucking trip. You already had nasty falls before with scars to prove it and a sticky club floor is the worst place to sprawl onto.Â
Keep going. Disappear into the crowd. Go find your friends.Â
And deal with the unmoving, gaping hole in your chest later.Â
â
â
It takes you awhile to find them, but soon enough, you're back to having the time of your life. The lineup of DJs is all stellar, with only a few misses here and there, even getting Jeongguk to stay on the dance floor longer than you expect.
What's even better? There's no sign of Yoongi. Surrounded by sweaty bodies and flashy grins, you don't catch a single glimpse of him in the crowd.
Good. That's good, right? You wanted this. You wanted to avoid him and run, just like you did the last time.
Your group starts to split up in the commotion of lights and confetti and streamers, but you're fine dancing on your own. With each ebb and flow of music, you lose yourself, letting your heart get swept away by stories of love and loss. Every song holds a piece you understand. Every verse carries the same message.
You aren't alone in being alone.
So embrace it. Let the hurt come later. Smiling wide, you await the next song up, arms thrown in the air with everyone in beautiful togetherness around you.
Then it starts.
The one song you knew you'd hear at some point but sure as fuck didnât want to.
While people around roar at the familiar opening, you feel like disappearing entirely. Whereâs the nearest coastline? You need a rising tide.Â
As the melancholic notes buzz up your chest, you slowly, quietly, lower both arms to your sides. Around you, the floor moves in sensuous circles and dips, and you envy everyone for not feeling how you feel. This glowing, searing pain setting your chest ablaze until itâs nothing but a pile of cinders, only to be washed away with the waves crashing against your knees.
With each scathing line, your heart cries, remembering exactly why it hit too deep. All those lessons you took that started on a whim. All those sunny afternoons practicing and stumbling about your living room. All those times you were held close and knew thereâd be no one else.
Your heart isn't strong enough to stay in the now. It doesnât want to. It will always remain in the past, on a rooftop gazing into a sea of stars and hoping for a different outcome.Â
Night, after night, after night.Â
Suddenly, youâre back in the past, too.
Because a hand, so sure and so steady, settles onto your hip from behind, and your eyes burn when another slides along your bare shoulder. Heat from a body you can sense from anywhere in the fucking universe warms the skin at your back, and you shake as lips touch the shell of your ear to whisper three words that shatter whatâs left of your soul,Â
âOne last time.âÂ
You aren't in the past. You're here. And so is he.
Breath whooshing out in a hitch, your throat is in absolute flames as your eyes slide shut. Then you nod, because you canât think of doing anything else, and you allow him to lead.
And he feels so perfect against you it hurts.Â
You feel how strong heâs gotten, how sturdy and lean. And yet, you also feel the same soft give you used to feel all those years ago. You know how pliant he could become under your mercy, just like all those times he gave you complete control. If you faced him, you could run your hands along that stomach youâve kissed every inch of a thousand times over.Â
But youâre too much of a pathetic coward to turn around.Â
When you back into him, his quick hiss into that groan you miss so fucking much flips every warning light in your body. But you canât help it. You know this dance, this connection, this reunion will be the last you will ever have.Â
He never loved you. You never said goodbye.Â
Everything thatâs left unsaid swirls around you as you move in perfect sync, both your hips moving as one and your hand snaking up and back to grip his neck fuck he feels just like home.Â
Yoongi⌠Still feels like home.Â
A single, hot tear leaks from your eye as you sway, burning a path down your cheek as your other hand closes tight around fingers holding your side. When he grips you even tighter, another tear betrays you, and you feel his lips so close to your neck you expect him to kiss there if he wanted to.Â
But he doesnât.Â
Of course he doesnât.Â
So you take what youâre given. A dance. Just one. One last unforgettable dance before your life changes all over again.Â
Knowing this song by heart, you know itâs approaching the end. The bittersweet last chorus clues you in, and you tense around his neck just a little tighter, hoping Yoongi didnât catch the need in your fingers for this moment to never end.Â
Mother Earth can swallow you whole as soon as the last word is sung. You give her your express permission.Â
Because you feel so hopelessly in love all over again, and you canât bear your affection to be unreciprocated a second time.Â
Just like that. Against your deepest, sincerest wishes.Â
The song dies.Â
And immediately after, as if your world hasnât just been upheaved and tossed to the wayside, the next number booms. Everyone on the dance floor cheers again when itâs extremely familiar and a faster tempo. Even more people fill the floor because they need to feel this one in their bones.Â
And you need nothing else but to leave.Â
Get out. Go. Yoongi said so, right? One last time. Itâs over. This tension between you needed an outlet and that song was the one out you both could use to set it free.Â
And itâs done. So you start your brisk walk away.
Only for your wrist to be held and your heart to fall out of your ribcage.Â
Fuck.
When you turn, you forget youâre tear-streaked and full of painful regrets.Â
And the look on Yoongiâs face heats your soul all the way through.Â
Because his eyes are unwavering, brows cut deep and mouth completely shut. Over his forehead, tendrils of mussed bangs sweep slow, and his chest rises and falls with every hard, wordless breath he takes.Â
And you finally get the courage to whisper his name.Â
Without a word, he slowly pulls you in, not stopping until your hands softly push into his strong chest and your face is inches from his. All heavy bass and bright beats of music fall away. All lights shift until you can only see him.Â
Time. All that time apart vanishes when you finally feel this close again, his steady expression watching you with an emotion you canât place but feel ripping at your walls to destroy them.Â
What is happening? Whatâs he doing?Â
Does he know he has the power to hurt you in ten million different ways?
Fingers rise to wipe the sadness from your face, only inviting more to pour from your eyes. âYoongi,â you whisper again, breaking the dam youâve been building block by block this whole time, just like you were afraid of. And you canât fucking stop. âYoongiâŚâ
Then, when his eyes slide shut, you think heâll let you go. Why can you only say his name? Why the fuck are you ruining this singular moment that youâve only dreamed of having wait wait why is he resting his forehead against yours fuck waitâ
âYou know how long,â he breathes out, âIâve been waiting to hear you say that again.âÂ
Have mercy.
Your soul finally snaps in two.Â
You can only say it once more, broken and chipped, before Yoongi grips your jaw and kisses you like itâs his last minute on earth.Â
And you push back with a ferocity thatâs been dormant for years, a magnificent flame never awakened by anyone else. Nothing else. Just him. Only him.Â
Rivers stream from your eyes as his arms circle you, hands gripping the skin of your back as your nails rake down his. Around you, people dance and bump into your bodies, but neither of you seem to fucking care. No one else exists. The only music you hear is every deep breath Yoongi takes and itâs your favorite, favorite, favorite.
You shouldnât be doing this. Thereâs no possible way this doesnât leave you without a broken heart and a shell of whatever intact spirit you have left.Â
But goddamn if you donât stay in the now more than ever.Â
âI donât give a shit,â you tumble into his mouth, waiting until he pulls away enough for you to spill every forbidden thought youâve harbored in your beating chest. âI donât care if you never loved me. I donât care if you moved on. I justâjust tonight, Yoongi, I need youââ
Your plea is engulfed by another soulshaking push of his lips, and you think thatâs the end of it until he tugs away from you before swerving his head around the floor.Â
âCome here,â he orders, gripping your hand and reminding you just how perfect his fingers slot with yours.Â
Time. Youâre getting more time? Your tears and the burning in your chest donât quell as youâre led through the crowd. When you get strange or pitied looks, you donât care. All these perfectly dressed people can fuck off.Â
When they stare at the man guiding you, thatâs what gets your stomach flaring. They can have him. Just after you get one last time to carry you through the rest of your loveless life.Â
Yoongi suddenly turns to look at you trailing behind, and he waits to bring you in front of his side, now leading you both together through the rest of the packed floor.Â
Ah. This is the man you remember.Â
And that just makes everything hurt even more.Â
Soon, youâre led off the dance floor and through a series of turns, Yoongi heading up a long back staircase before rounding into a hallway of doors before he checks each one.Â
What are these? Karaoke rooms? Party rooms? You donât know, but the ache in your body hunches you over, and it takes everything to not crumble before he finally stops and yanks open a door.Â
âYoongi, what are youâ?â
A dim, neon-lit room is what you come to, and you hear a faint click while noticing the long window looking out into the club below. Different lounge chairs and couches fill the space, and you can see just enough out the glass to know youâre even high above the VIP tables. The room feels exclusive but you donât get to observe anything else as youâre being pushed into the nearest wall to be liplocked again.Â
Fuck, heâs gotten even better at this.Â
Just like you have.Â
As your dress is gripped tight, your thoughts all blur together in a lustful slurry. How many has he taken to bed after you? Do you remember your own count? Has anyone else made him feel like you do? With a searing green flare, you remember that no one has come close to him. How awfully one-sided would that be if he found someone that completed him.
A veiny hand grips the side of your neck before sliding to your head. âFuck,â Yoongi grits out. âI⌠I canât.âÂ
...What?Â
No. No no no.Â
Your heart begins its fast descent. Because if Yoongi doesnât want this, you have to respect that. As much as you will scream into the night, youâre not gonna stop him if he gets up and leaves.Â
Because you did. So why shouldnât he get that same chance to destroy you?Â
âI get it,â you hitch out, holding his strong wrist with shaky fingers. Itâs only fair. This felt too good to be true anyway. âI know.âÂ
âItâs not that.â Yoongi slides his free hand on the wall, holding it at your shoulder. âI just⌠Fuck, if we do this, I canât promise Iâll hold back.âÂ
Oh. Fuck that.Â
You tug the warm silver around his neck. âThen donât,â you urge to his grunt. âIf this is all we get? I donât fucking care.âÂ
âEven if I tââ
âDo it, Yoongi,â you plead with a gritted cry. âYou can do anything to me, whatever it is just do it.âÂ
âFuck.âÂ
All doubt flees from his eyes as your back gets smushed into the wall, your lips puffed and parting when he places hot, open mouthed kisses down your column.Â
Hands keep their quest in gathering up your dress. And you make quick work of his belt before pulling, tugging, yanking it out of its holster.Â
âThe fuck,â he shoots out. âWho the fuck taught you that?â
Your eyes flicker to his as you grip the hem of his jeans. âYou really wanna know?â
âNo.â He switches up on a dime. âDonât tell me.â
Your lips collide again before he rips his mouth down to attack your chest, nipping at a spot that has you flinching and hand sliding between your legs. When he runs a finger along your underwear, his eyes practically burn out as he growls, âYouâre this fucking wet already?â
âI told you,â you gasp out. âI need you.âÂ
Your hand is yanked to the front of his jeans, and shock and emotion completely cover the expanse of your face feeling how unbelievably hard he is.
Unfazed, Yoongi continues kissing up to your shoulder, leaving hot saliva trails all over your skin and bunching your silk in his hands. âSeeing you in this? Lost my shit.â
âYou're lying.â
âAll fuckin' night."
âLiar.â
Liar, liar. A bold faced lie. You saw him talking to other people. You saw his anger piercing across the club. But you watch as his look levels, and your cheeks sizzle at the way he shifts his jaw,Â
âIâd never lie to you.âÂ
Shit. Your heart bats eyelashes before you shove it out of frame.Â
The organ in your chest is a walking liability, especially when itâs connected to your mouth. So there are many, many things you might reveal tonight in the throes of agony and passion. Things you will regret come morning waking to an empty bed.Â
The best way to not say anything that could potentially do more harm than good? Keep your lips occupied. And thatâs exactly what you intend to do.Â
âWeâll see,â you grit out, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down. When Yoongi lets you twist to shove him back against the wall, his eyes flare in dark need when he hisses,Â
âYou donât have toââ
âI want to.âÂ
To show him how youâve grown in the years you separated, to show him what he couldâve fucking had.Â
To show him that you arenât taking a single bit of this last, serendipitous night for granted.Â
Kneeling slow, you slide your hands along his clothed chest, kissing his chains exactly how you used to and smearing lipstick all the way down his jersey.
âFuckâŚâ
Balancing on your heels, you wince at the tight bend in your knees, but you arenât going down completely because your kneecaps arenât what they used to be. Fuck that. You can do plenty in a low squat anyway, and heâs seen you look a hell of a lot more awkward many times. âShit,â you still whisper. âYouâre lucky I canât wait to swallow you.â
A curse flings out of his mouth. âGet up, babe.â
Heart ringing at the name, you reject his order with a harsh, âShut up.âÂ
You want this, and you know for a fact he does, too. When Yoongi tries to bend, you pull down his underwear, springing his cock free and almost salivating at the sight.Â
Just like you remember. Everything about him is just how you remember, and yet his body has only gotten stronger and filled out in all the perfect places. Yoongiâs a man now. A real, grown man.Â
If you both just met tonight, you know he wouldâve asked for your name before anything else.
Cut the shit. You are not getting into that now, not when you have him with hands trembling against a wall before you take him in your palm. As soon as you touch, Yoongi expels a deep groan, kicking his head back and gripping the wall with a large hand.
Whatâs going on? You havenât even done anything yet. Why does your chest constrict at how sensitive he is? This isnât the time to relax, but you really canât help but soften at his complete and utter unravelling.Â
Itâs almost as if nothingâs changed.Â
Yoongi lowers his gaze, and you lock glistening eyes before you take him in your mouth, slow on the tip and swirling to get it coated and prepped just right. Your hand expertly glides along his solid, slick length, squeezing at the spot you know makes him fold.Â
âHoly fuck,â he gasps out, hand hesitating to palm your head before balling in a fist against plaster. âShit, babe..â
Again? Does he even realize what heâs saying? Is he trying to hurt you because if thatâs his goal itâs fucking working.Â
Anger, regret, painful nostalgia drives you forward, sinking his velvety ridges inside your throat and proving to him how much better youâve gotten. With every plunge, you hollow your cheeks, already feeling the telltale searing at your eyes and spiraling up your throat. His endless stream of sounds and praise tumble down your skin, and you keep sucking mercilessly even when his hips buck and his eyes squeeze tight.
Releasing with a loud pop, you feel a huge strain on your soaked legs as you adjust, tilting your drenched chin to bury your face in his sack to lick and take it in.
âBaby..â
At this new, old nickname, you grip his cock tighter, swallowing him whole again just to hide your real tears behind the ones streaming from taking him in so deep.Â
More. You give more, and more, and more. Time will take away everything else so what you can give is all you got.
Hands grip your head in desperation, and you let Yoongi push you onto his length until your airway is closed tight, nose and cheeks flush against the skin of his thighs. His scent is heady and just like you remember, if only slightly different due to the new musky cologne heâs probably sticking with nowadays. Not like you can focus on it too long because your airway is screaming to be freed again.Â
Tears leak over your lashes as want slicks your cunt, and you hear syllables that could be words before you finally give his legs a telltale tap.
Oxygen floods your lungs as more tears stream from your eyes, lips sopping wet and saliva leaving your chin in strings. Gulping, you go right back to it, taking him in again and pumping his slick ridges quick.
âGet up,â he commands with a rasp so deep it rumbles your chest. âGet the fuck up.âÂ
Youâre pulled upward so fast your legs cry at the bends, and youâre spun so quick the wall hits your shoulderblade and you cry out into a furious mouth.Â
Pleasure and pain intertwine as you match his intensity, raking at his shoulders and clawing into his hair. With each kiss, he reaches deeper into your throat, and you know he can taste himself on your tongue with the way he claims it in waves.
For a moment, thereâs no one else in the world. You arenât in a dimly lit lounge in a club away from home. Youâre right here in his bedroom, getting slung and dragged along his wall and knocking every one of his plaques and posters off-kilter.Â
âYoongi, Iââ
âI know.â
Without further prompt, Yoongi wrenches at your dress to shove it up to your hip, burning a path along your leg with expert fingers. As you hook itover his smooth forearm, your lips part when his other hand slides between your thighs.Â
You know your underwear is soaked all the way through.Â
And now, so does he. âGoddamn.â
âI canât take it anymore,â you gasp out. âJustââ
âAre you still on theââ
âYes.â
Shifting the sodden material to the side, Yoongi wastes no time, angling himself to rub over your folds and moaning in tandem with you because holy fuck this already feels soâ
âThis fucking pussy,â Yoongi grits out, sliding in perfectly and so smoothly itâs like neither of you ever left each other's sides. Your high moan cuts into the cherry ceiling when he sounds like heâs just struck gold, âShit, youâre gonna be the death of me.â
âYoongi, pleaseââ
Heâs talking absolute nonsense. Gonna be? How is that possible when you wonât see him again?Â
All questions vaporize when Yoongiâs hips snap up, launching you up the wall again, and again, and again. Pops of need and lust zoom straight to your head, sparkling out of your eyes when you feel his lips smothering your neck.Â
Youâre in heaven. Youâre in hell. It feels so good it hurts. Caught in a flurry of need and anguish, your nails rake down his shoulders before scratching at his arms, shivering at his outright growl,Â
âDonât do that.â
âOh, Iââ
âDo that shit again and Iâll come.âÂ
Shit. You donât understand how he could be so shameless. Youâre trying your hardest to keep it together and here he is saying whatever the fuck he wants? If you let your mouth just as loose as he has thereâs no telling what youâd be shouting out.Â
But you settle for an apology for now, just in case you actually hurt him, âSorry.. My nails are super long right now.â
âI noticed.â Another thrust launches you into the sky. âThey look good but they hurt like hell.â
âOh.. Sorry again.â A moan escapes when he shoves into you, mind hazy because heâs still placating you.Â
âIâm not saying thatâs a bad thing.â Devilish, he breaks into a slow smirk you havenât seen in ages, and your ribcage folds inward and inward. âIâm just not fucking done with you yet.âÂ
Oh. He doesnât want this to end, either.Â
Now that changes every fucking cog in your brain.Â
You keep yourself upright as long as you can, arms slung around his neck as you both move together, dip and lean together, breathe so hard it scorches your chest together. Every muscle in your planted leg burns, but itâs nothing compared to the stare you have connected to his eyes. With each deep thrust, his brows furrow and his teeth peek from his lips, and every groan you hear goes right into a chest for safe keeping. Right next to all the other memories you want to lock away.
Yoongiâs pace starts to quicken the more your mewls encourage him. What was sensuous is now unbearable and, as your dress threatens to shift, you know your breasts will be on full display soon, and Yoongi bites his lip with a grunt with his next hard thrusts.
Soon enough, you feel a chill on your nipples as theyâre freed, moaning to the ceiling when Yoongi immediately heats one whole with his tongue. âBaby!â
Goddamn it. You werenât supposed to address him like that, too. But maybe itâs better than saying his name because every time you do thereâs a charge sparking the air.Â
So you decide to switch, moaning the same word over and over as he licks and sucks, dragging his teeth along your exposed chest and littering it with heavy proof of his lips. Just like the lipstick on his jersey, you know heâs claimed his own marks on your skin.Â
And neither of you will be able to hide them when you part.
Expelled tension flits about in light streaks as you move with him, slick with exertion and tight with muscles working in double time. You both know this is the last time and youâre acting like it. And you send a prayer to the heavens to let time stop just to keep holding him in your arms.Â
Suddenly, your heel slips, and you yelp before strong arms keep you upright. âShit, sorry.â
âI got you.â
Summer sunsets smother your vision as you let him guide you from the wall, gently placing your leg down and leading you to a sofa. Everything simmers to a lull, and you have a moment to catch your breath and steady your racing, racing heartbeat.Â
When Yoongi sits on vibrant cushions, you admire the way his biceps fill those sleeves right as he tugs his jersey clean off. And you have to fight to not teeter over, continuing to stare in awe at him, so perfectly filled in some placed and chiseled in others that you start to wonder how you even left in the first place.
Of course you know why you did. So why bring it up now when youâre right here? Why agonize over the past when youâre standing right between his legs? Â
âBaby.âÂ
You flick your gaze back up to his.Â
âStay with me.â
Tears zing up your eyes as you nod, heart plugging your throat as you mount his toned thighs. When you feebly place hands on his searing shoulders, you hate the way your words shake on the way out, âStay in the now. I know.â
Yoongiâs eyes shine with a light in them you werenât sure was there before. But you canât wait long enough for confirmation because your heart is keeling over with ache.Â
He remembers. He remembers. Does that mean heâs thought about you, too?Â
Focus on something else. No time to think about the past, nor the future. No time to notice that the way Yoongi looks at you now is so heartbreakingly similar to how he worshipped you before. Back when things were perfectly imperfect. Back when you were sure he loved you before he proved to you that he didnât.Â
âStill so beautiful.â
Liquid fire fills your eyes as your breath hitches, guiding his length to your entrance before sinking onto him with no issue. When you both groan, you let your glittery vision watch the ceiling instead of him when you admit,Â
âYou look so fucking good in red.â
Thereâs no response as you breathe, angling yourself to feel him deep and moving in a slow push and pull along his legs. Your thin chain tightens as your neck strains above Yoongiâs head, and you wish you had the guts to look down at the ones around his neck. Theyâre already deadly resting on his clothes, but rocking against the flush of his skin is how you love them the most.
Still, you canât bear to look. You know youâll lose yourself in those eyes if you dare stare long enough. Because what you saw earlier looked too close to longing, which would be impossible because that only exists in yours.Â
âAnd,â you whoosh out in tired breaths, gripping your fingers on him a little tighter, âLooks like you.. finally hit the gym.. like I kept fucking saying.âÂ
A puff of warm laughter hits your chest before sweaty hands grip your waist. âAlways said I would.â
âBut you never did,â you huff out, grinding on him harder and melting at his little sounds. One thing you will keep giving this man credit for: he isnât ashamed to be just as vocal as you are. The more people you ended up meeting? The rarer and rarer you realized that bedroom quality was.Â
âI did eventually,â he grits, holding you in place and surging into you so hard you yelp to the stars. âDidnât I.â
âFuck you,â you bite, moaning when your argument dies the moment his tongue swirls around a nipple again. Whatâs left comes out a garbled mess of a groan, and you hate, hate, hate the dark chuckle against your breast. Partly because heâs a constant problem, and partly because you yearn to see his smile again.Â
âWhat else is new about you,â Yoongi suddenly rasps, hands lowering to rest on your hips as you ride him. âAside from clearly getting better at this.â
Lost in lust and surprised at his question, you finally peer down to see him looking up already. âNo thanks to you.â
And your world stills as he doesnât respond right away, any hint of sunlight fading from his features. âNo thanks to me,â he slowly agrees.Â
Fuck. You didnât mean to do that.Â
Slowly slipping hands from his body, you rise from his length and mourn the disconnect before standing. When Yoongi only regards you with eyes on fire, you slowly turn and rest on his thighs.Â
Heâs not gonna like this. But he asked.
You turn your head before slowly sliding one side of your dress completely down, revealing a rough scar on your back a little lower than your shoulder.
And your soul immediately clenches when Yoongi heats your back with his body heat. âThe fuck?â His fingers feel so light, so protective as they caress your mark. Itâs confusing, and you abhor it as much as you need it. âWhat happened?â
âI fell,â you whisper. âPretty hard.âÂ
Details of how and when it happened donât matter. But he wanted to know what was new, and the scar on your heart isnât exactly readily available to show.Â
âI did, too.âÂ
What? At his voice over your shoulder, you strain your neck to see him. âWhen?â
Why is he kissing your scar? Exes donât do that. Exes donât do anything youâre doing right now.Â
âBefore you left.â
Now you feel worse. When the hell did that happen? Why didnât you know about it? âSorry,â you breathe out with sorrow. âI didnât know.â
Another slow, calm graze of his mouth tightens your throat. Because heâs since moved across your back, lips now touching where your shoulderblade hit the wall.Â
âI know,â Yoongi sighs. âI never told you.âÂ
He never told you many things.
Stepping into dangerous territory is making you regret showing him your worst moment. So you shift your ass to push over his cock, feeling it throb against you when you wisp out the worst reminder, âWe donât have much time.â
âMm.â
When you feel his hands shift your dress, you lift up and allow you both to effortlessly situate you back where you wanna be. Your back hits his chest as he guides himself up into your folds, and your head kicks back to lie across his shoulder like the red silk flowing over your thigh.Â
âJust like you said,â you start to whisper, eyes already welling with oncoming regret, âOne last time.â Every syllable just as melancholic as the notes of your favorite song.Â
When Yoongi starts, your heart weeps at the pace. Because it reminds you of better times, sensuous and intentional and convincing you to confess all over again. It takes everything not to speak, your moans escaping in weak puffs and your hips swelling in a calm wave.Â
This is too much. This is way too fucking much and you finally break when his name leaves you like a prayer. âHarder,â you beg. âPlease, please goââ
Youâre cut off as soon as his hips jolt up, flinging you to life before going at a menacing pace. Yes yes yes this is the one you need. The one you crave. The one that leaves no room for feelings and decisions. Your dress threatens to slip off your sides with each pound, slowly rolling and accentuating your chest in seconds. âShit, holy shit!â
âFuck, youâre so tightââ
âSo fucking bigââ
As if knowing exactly what you want, your arms are held back, locked into place as youâre under the absolute mercy of his dick slamming up into you over and over, skin slapping obscene and thighs burning from the stretch across his lap.Â
Yoongi knows you better than anyone else. A frustrated growl tears from your lips as you arch so far back you connect clouds, and a strong forearm wraps across your stomach to pin you so fucking close you may as well mold right into him. Passion streaks down your limbs as sweat beads along your skin, the heady scent of sex and forbidden fruit swirling into your nose.Â
More. More more more heâs giving you everything. As your arms are freed, you can only grip the other forearm slinging over your upper chest, nails digging into creamy skin and leaving angry, cherry red lines.
Words, praise, everything under the sun is being spewed onto your slick shoulders as you mash your teeth and eyes tight. You even hear a word youâve been wanting to hear for years, but that canât possibly be true because thereâs no way Yoongi would everâ
A hand closes around your throat, and your eyes fly back into your head.
Youâre so close. Fucking hell, your thighs are singing and your throat is burning and your abdomen strains from the arch but you need this release. You need this tidal wave to consume you. If only to forget for a split second that Yoongi isnâtâ
ââyours.â
What?
Another fierce round of thrusts almost topples the two of you over, and white hot pressure paints the edges of your eyes as you strain for breath. Youâre so close. So fucking close itâs right within reach.
But it all vanishes in a snap as Yoongi stops, and you cry with a teary rasp, âNo, please, babyââ
âNot yet.â He hauls you up, making you sit straight and facing away yet again. âYou know what to do.âÂ
Fuck. Thereâs no way he remembers this, too. You flinch at the slap to your breast before shakily getting up, legs wobbly but positioning yourself on his cock perfectly before sliding down.Â
Both heels planted on the ground, you brace his strong knees and work his slick length, eyes rolling at his breathy groans and curses leaving his mouth in spurts.Â
You know exactly what to do to make him lose his goddamn mind. So you do it all, swirling and swerving your hips while flicking off your silk, showing him the best view of your ass as it bounces. Your legs tire, but you donât, and you use the music leaking into the room to set your sickening, aggravating pace.Â
âFuck, baby..â
âYou asked for it.â
âDonât regret a goddamn thing.âÂ
You can tell heâs on the brink of madness, and you can only picture the way his head thumps back on the couch, mouth torn by his teeth and brows furrowed to hell. His muscles are probably contracting in waves, including the ones in his perfect, bulging arms.Â
âYou shouldnât,â you hum. âSince this is all you get.âÂ
Without a word, hands reach out and tug you backward, and youâre up on your feet and tripping before your hands slap the firm cushions of the next chair over. âWhat the fuââ
To your absolute delight, Yoongi plants a foot on the chair before gripping the pliant dip of your hips, pushing tears from your eyes with each quick, deep thrust he rams forward. Stars dance along your vision as drool leaks endlessly from your mouth. âBabyâ! Fuck!â
âThis pussyâs so.. Fuck.â Youâre shoved so far down that your moist cheek smushes into firm cushion. âSay my name.â
âBabeââ
âAs much as I wanna hear that every fucking dayââYoongi shoves into you again and keeps his cock thrumming inside your cuntââRight now, Iâm gonna hear my name. So say it.â
âYoongiââ
His deep, gritted command makes you snap, âLouder.â
âYoongiâ!âÂ
You feel it. Youâre at the brink again. With every snap of his skin pounding against yours, youâre inching closer and closer and closer to the edge, waiting for the fall that will end you. âBaby, Iâm gonnaââ
Firm arms haul you upward and youâre both travelling the room again, legs skittering until you hit back first into the nearest wall fuck that took your breath out.
Yoongiâs breath catches as he slams a hand against the plaster to steady, face burrowed in your neck and hair brushing harsh against your ear as he buries inside of you again. Fire spews from his mouth as you feel his cock squeeze up into your cunt, and his arm tenses tight behind your knee as he commands,
âCome for me, love.â
You donât know what the fuck you just heard but you know he didnât just sayâ
âI said come.â
Instinct. Pure, animalistic instinct surges your orgasm forward in a high crest, breaking onto shore in hot, white waves as you tremble around him. Your cunt squeezes and tugs, your poor leg threatening collapse as Yoongi roughly hums so deep against your chest. Pleasure, starlight, the warmth of an afternoon faraway heats your body just right, and one crash leads into the next so effortlessly that tears zip down your cheeks.
Your name rips from Yoongiâs throat.Â
And itâs enough to send you right over the edge again.
How the fuck is this possible how the hell can someone break you with your own name how can Yoongi have this much of a hold on you when itâs been literal years? It doesnât make any sense and the cries into his neck as he holds you close are akin to sobs. Maybe they are. Maybe theyâre your way of mourning everything that couldâve been. Everything that will never be.Â
But at least you were able to have him, shaking in your grasp and pulsing in your core. One more night. One last time.Â
âFuck it, come here.âÂ
Your sobs are yanked from the wall again, and you donât know up from left as you're thrown onto a sofa, back curling as Yoongi tugs your head upright. Your tears slide down your neck, wetting your necklace as he breathes out,Â
âAgain.âÂ
Fuck! Your cunt tightens around him as you gasp out, âI canât⌠I canâtââ
âDonât lie to me,â Yoongi growls, clutching your chin and flinging hot spit onto your face that catapults you into another level of need youâve never been to holy fuck. Smothering it against your cheeks, he taps you once and it brings destruction. âI said again.âÂ
All your limbs lock at the bends as you throw your head in a strained cry, a release that overpowers all the others flushing through your veins and igniting beams out of your sweaty chest. Wave upon wave crashes into your soul and your ears ring so loud you can barely hear or see Yoongi watching from above. You canât. Youâre too caught in chaos. You canât see the way he looks at you.Â
âCome for me, Yoongi,â you suddenly plead, âLet go.â
âLet me pullââ
âDo it now,â you hitch out. âCome inside.â
A prolonged moan leaves his mouth as he launches into a pace that has you screaming, teeth gritted to hell and fingers gripping you so hard you know theyâre going to bruise. But who cares when your skin will match your heart? Who gives a fuck about anything else anymore?
Beautiful weight crushes your chest as Yoongiâs body turns erratic, jolting and seizing up. And you know heâs racing to his own cliff to dive and youâre gonna be right there to catch him. Slinging your arms around his drenched back and fisting the wet base of his hair, youâre already ready and waiting with harsh harsh breaths, because you're about to break him.
âThatâs it, baby,â you whisper to his ear, ravaging his slick neck with your lips and scraping teeth over his ear just how he likes, hearts beating as one when you stop just to connect your forehead to his. With a singular, throaty gasp, you plead,
âOne last time.â
Yoongiâs sudden release sends a pulse through the air, and your core beats and beats with each pump of essence he spews inside. Heaven and earth collide with stars as you hold tight, and your thighs shake as he finishes filling you with the longest orgasm you have ever, ever seen him endure.Â
The float down doesnât come quick, both of you softly suspended in time and air. Steam radiates from your skin and flows from your mouths with each breath, and beads of sweat slip down his jewelry as he stares with a deep vastness in his eyes.Â
Why is he so quiet?Â
Why are you so quiet?Â
Why do you feel like crying again?Â
With one more shaken breath, Yoongi swallows, chest heaving right after as he struggles to gather himself. His shoulders are so broad when he moves under your hands, closing his eyes as soon as your brows touch,
âI know itâs over.â
Your heart flares.
âBut I need you to know.â
Stars light the night sky.
âI love you. And I always will.â
A sob breaks your silence, hand flying to cup your mouth before you hunch forward into his trembling chest. Days and days of pent up anger and sadness spill out all at once, and you weep into his chest because you canât bear to let go.Â
âI know youâve moved on,â Yoongi continues with a shake to his words, not pausing at the way you choke and weep. âBut Iâve regretted never saying it back then. And Iâm not gonna get another chance.â
What the fuck is happening. What does he mean? What does he mean? Your body canât stop as it locks and locks, sobs wracking your chest because this is fucked up and confusing and everything youâve been wanting for the longest time. This is all you wanted. And you only get it at the very end.Â
âI didnât even say goodbye,â you shake out. When you lift your trembling head, his lips are already so achingly close to yours and his hand moves to steady your neck. âI left and never came back.â
When his eyes are the only ones that speak, you start to spill everything out, words tumbling into one another and pinging to the floors around your tired feet,
âI tried so hard to forget you. Tried so, so hard to stop loving you. Every day, Iâd wake up wanting nothing to do with you, only to see you in my dreams and remember how it felt toâtoââÂ
Bright red flares across Yoongiâs eyes as he keeps listening, jaw pulsing and brows so tense.Â
âAt first, I was so angry. At you, at myself, at the world for letting me love you when you never loved me back. But now, I know what I did was wrong. And I regret it every day that I live.âÂ
When your face contorts in sorrow, Yoongi brings a hand up to wipe your cheek, thumb brushing away your tears. âI did, babe.â Your breath stops and your eyes splay wide. âJust never had the guts to say it first.âÂ
First.Â
Yoongi loved you all the way back then? Before that starry night thatâs kept your heart captive for so long? It pulses against your chest, ramming and ramming into your ribcage to get to his.Â
Only one question barrels through your mind. ââŚWhy?â
Yoongi looks from one eye to the next. âBecause I didnât think I deserved to.â
Everything clicks into place and you suddenly feel so, so upset. You are going to fight this man to the moon and back. Or, better yet, youâre gonna fight him to the moon and leave him there. âYou think I thought that way?â
âNo.â He sighs, chains shaking over your chest. âAnd I replay that night over, and over. Knowing that Iâd do anything to go back and tell you how I felt.âÂ
Yoongi never lived in the past. He was always adamant about staying in the present. So knowing heâd been stuck there right next to you makes your chest collapse before slipping down into the deep sea.Â
âWhen I saw you today? Every day I told myself Iâd get over you didnât matter. Every reason I told myself I couldnât be with you was bullshit.âÂ
Your throat constricts again.
âBut when you kept running.. I knew you were done with me for good.â Yoongiâs hand falls. âAnd there was nothing I could do to change your mind.â
âYoongiâŚâ
All this time, you both had your own reasons for avoiding each other. Everything you fed into your logical side was just a ploy to project your feelings, and it turns out Yoongi did the exact same thing.Â
He said he wouldnât be able to hold back if you did this tonight. And now, youâre blessed to know exactly what he meant.Â
So you also let everything go.Â
âI was never done with you,â you choke out, seeing a swath of emotion brush across his face. âBecause Iâm still in love with you, and I will be even if you walk out of here without me.â
Musk and heaven consumes you in a hug, and you cry into a bare shoulder as you hear Yoongi vow something so full of longing and conviction you hold him tighter,Â
âIâm not going anywhere else without you.âÂ
Music continues to pulse outside, lasers continue to dance around the room. But you see nothing but the light in your lover's eyes.Â
And itâs a beautiful, beautiful sunrise.Â
â
â
When you both finally part, itâs only to let him get dressed and for you to use the nearest restroom. In the quiet wake of your emotional storm, Yoongi walks you to the window spanning the far wall of the lounge, and you both watch the club floors move and sway from above. And itâs only now that you feel shy. Itâs only now that you feel nervous seeing everyone below.Â
But a thought occurs to you that dashes all others away,Â
âHow did you know to come up here?âÂ
Yoongi gives you a look that you raise a brow at. âIâŚâ He sighs. âLetâs just say I know my way around this place.â
Ah. Of course. âCome here often?â
âNot for the reasons you think.â
Your brows are fully bent now. ââŚHuh?â
âI own the building.â Hands busy, he adjusts his jersey as if he didnât drop the biggest shock of the century on your toes. âAnd a couple others in the city.â
What.Â
Pause pause pause hold the fucking phone.Â
Yoongi lives in this city? He owns what? This is a little too much to take in, but you have time. And youâre gonna hound him for every single detail of his life that youâve missed.Â
You have time. Your prayer had been answered tenfold. And you send endless gratitude to the sky.Â
But suddenly, a second realization pierces your mind and you lightly shove him. When Yoongi looks at you in shock, you yell out, âYou asked whatâs new and I showed you a scar! Now you tell me you own a fucking building?âÂ
Your lover laughs, and the sun rises even higher over your horizon. Ducking your next swipe, heâs already back to irritating you again as he clarifies, âI said more than oneââ
âOh, fuck you!âÂ
He rushes forward and gathers you in his arms, not caring if anyone sees your embrace in the window. âYou wanna go again?âÂ
Your face heats as your eyes roll heavenward, exactly where you feel like you are in this moment. âI have a pretty big hotel room,â you divulge. âAnd no one to share that bedroom with unless someone else catches my eye tonight, soâŚâ
Yoongiâs eyes crease as he kisses your forehead. âFuck that. Take me home.âÂ
Your giggles into his chin bubble out in pink, poppable spheres.Â
As magnificent and dreamlike all of this has been, you're starting to find logic again. Because more than one question badgers into your mind.
How long have you been gone? Have your friends not even checked on you? Did they try? Did they leave do they even still have the... tableâŚ
Wait.
Everything else clicks into place.Â
The random city everyone flew to that Jeongguk picked. The infamous club and dress code you heard about from Taehyung. The table that Hoseok bragged about gettingâŚ
â...You're the one that got us VIP.âÂ
That stupid, annoying, ridiculous grin. Of course this is how you'd be reminded of how much you love to hate it.
âNow come dance with me,â he says with teeth still flashing wide. âLetâs see if you ever got that step.âÂ
Eyes sparkling, you let him lead you down and onto the dance floor, moving through until youâre suddenly next to your friends that shout and holler at your arrival together.Â
âAll of you are crazy!â You yell out, tears in your smile as they burst into laughter. âWhy didnât you just tell me!â
Yoongi grabs hold of you before chuckling into your ear. âI told them not to.âÂ
âWhy?â
âDidnât know if you were really done.â He grips you tight, face falling into seriousness. âBut I heard you broke up with someone a month ago. This was my only chance and I took it.âÂ
Holy fucking shit.
âThank you.â You kiss his cheek with purpose. âI love you.â
Yoongiâs cheeks rise high, dimples prominent and eyes carrying the light of the universe. Lips close, he responds how he wanted to the first time.
And you seal your devotion with a kiss full of starlight.Â
âUgh, here we go.â
âAlready at it again, huh.â
"Figures. Didn't you see his jersey?"
âGet another roomâ!â
Suddenly, the same song that used to haunt you comes on once more, but this time, you welcome it with a swell of freedom in your chest. The waves of your mind calm, washing onto an empty beach and fading into a mesmerizing valley of blue.
Yoongi grins as he holds your hand, and you can't help but stretch your mouth wide as you both immerse into the crowd, moving and spinning and stepping perfectly together on every beat. Laughter and joy fills the space between your hearts as you all cheer, sharing this infinite moment together as fate intended. Â
In a beautiful, unforgettable dance.Â
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fin :)
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hi lovelies what did we think !! | main masterlist
a/n: so don't ask how i managed to write all of this in a single day (now two) lol i think this madrid yoongi broke me. anyways, here's the sidequest that became the main quest for a bit! i'm back to writing three tangerines so 3tan13 will be finished here real soon :D thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoyed this irresistible ex turned lover yoongiiiii :DD did i cry? yes. can you prove it? no!!!!
a/n 2: as always, reblogs and comments and asks are always super appreciated! i love sharing things with you guys and a big part of that is getting to hear what you all liked and what you're excited about. happy to chat, and thank you for reading!
++ feedback box:
⼠of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
âĽÂ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⼠no emails collected, no need to put in a username. itâs literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as youâd like!
⼠here!
⢠Pairing: Yoongi x non-famous!reader â idol au
⢠Word count: 11k
⢠Genre: romance, chilhood-best-friends-to-lovers, denial, slight angst, real adulthood shit
ⲠDescription: Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea. Falling in love with your best friend, who happened to be a world-famous idol, was an even worse one. Too bad your heart had never listened to reason, especially when it came to him.
m a s t e r l i s t
âA moment, Y/N?â
You were not often irritated. It was actually quite hard to get you to a point where it showed on the surface. You know, customer service and all that.Â
But there was something about finishing your seven hour shift â that in actuality turned to nine hours â only to have your name called with your jacket halfway over your shoulders.
Your mouth probably quivered in the effort, but you managed to force on a half-smile anyways. âYeah?â
âListen, I hate to ask you this, but can you take a shift tomorrow?â
If your manager hated it as much as she claimed, she would have asked anyone but you. Especially knowing how many extra shifts you had picked up lately due to sickness from other employees. More often than not, you cursed your strong immune system.Â
Where was a cold when you truly needed it?
âIâm sorry, Iâm actually busy tomorrow.â The lie was effortless on your part.
Your managerâs brows furrowed. âNo way you can postpone?â
âNo sorry. Itâs a family birthday, canât really postpone that, you know.â
You were honestly bone-tired after working the entire week, with all your six hour shifts becoming overtime by several hours and you just needed one damn day of rest. To just bed rot to your heartâs content without worrying.Â
Your pride was usually too stubborn, and a few extra bucks in your account each month definitely never hurt, but you were certainly feeling your age right now.
âOh okay.â
That was it, you supposed, mentally rolling your eyes as your manager turned back around without a goodbye as you watched her walk away with the tight smile still present.
God, you were not paid enough to deal with her attitude.Â
âBitch.â you couldnât help but mutter to yourself.Â
The cold was unforgiving in the beginning of this year, and you had never been much of an ice, snow or even cold weather person to begin with, which added to your already foul mood.Â
You had to switch metro lines once, and then take a bus to get to your destination. And the idiot should appreciate your effort after a long shift. Not to mention all the security measures needed for you to get past just to get to his building.
The front door had never looked more inviting as you entered the doorcode and let it close shut behind you with a rhythmic beep. You could hear the sound of talking coming from the living room or kitchen, as well as the sound of the TV somewhere in the background.
âIf anybodyâs looking for me, itâs your birthday tomorrow!â You called out just before rounding the corner to the kitchen.
Yoongi blinked at you, while Jimin and Taehyung were mid-giggle about something.
âOh, hey boys,â you added quickly, trying to hide the fatigue in your voice.Â
A black little fluff ball weaved out from beneath the dinner table and trotted over to you eagerly as you cooed and bent down to greet him. âLook who it is, hi Tangie.â
The black cat was vocal, meowing at you in greeting and rubbing against your legs until you gently pushed him away to go sit down.Â
âHiyaa noona,â Tae grinned at you, picking up a piece of meat from the grill on the table.Â
âNoona, come eat with us!â Jimin stood up to grab an extra set of chopsticks and a bowl of rice as you plopped down on the chair next to Yoongi.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â He drawled to your sudden shoutout while wrapping up his ssam.Â
âIf my manager is asking, I'm busy with a family birthday tomorrow.â
âAnd how would your manager know me?â
âItâs a what-if situation, Yoongs. Just go with it.â
He huffed and wordlessly plated your bowl with rice and several pieces of perfectly grilled meat, as Jimin poured you a glass of soju. Always the gentlemen.Â
You caught yourself smiling, small and soft, and felt the weariness in your chest ease just a little from their presence.
âWas work tough today, noona?â
âLess tough and more annoying, to be honest.â
âLetâs drink to that!â Tae held out his glass as you two clinked and downed it one shot.Â
âWhatâs with the impromptu dinner?â You asked after a few bites.Â
âWe were bored,â Jimin shrugged.Â
âThey didnât exactly ask to come,â Yoongi clarified in return. âBarged in like an hour ago demanding me to cook.â
âWe asked you,â Taehyung corrected. âAnd came bearing gifts.â
âYou mean soju which I already had in my fridge?â
âAnd now you got double, youâre welcome.â
You only chuckled to yourself at the usual bickering between the boys as they continued to talk about the past, and down alcohol like it was water.Â
Maybe it was the weather, or even the significance of a new year beginning. But your mind somehow felt reminiscent. Sitting here in Yoongiâs large home, silently watching as he acted annoyed by his two younger members with that smile on his face.Â
And somewhere in the back of your mind, the memories started to drift.
Your parents had been close â were close to this day. Though Yoongiâs family had moved to a newer house in the years that followed whilst your family still remained in the same neighborhood.Â
They had dragged you to dinner at the petulant age of ten, promising there was going to be another kid there your age, and someone for you to play with. They just never mentioned it was a boy. And at that age, boys were very much gross to you. And yet, you grew inseparable.Â
Yearly summer vacations spent together, sitting on the curb eating ice creams, biking through the streets and waiting for each other after school to walk home together. During your middle school years the two of you would often hang out on the schoolâs rooftop during breaks, being split into different classes. He was always scribbling away, and you beside him lounging tilting your head curiously now and then.Â
âIâm gonna move to Seoul one day,â he often declared.Â
âI know.â
âYou do?â
âYou love music, of course youâll move.â
He frowned. âDo you think Iâll make it?â
âYes,â you answered immediately. âBecause youâre stubborn.â
By the time the two of you turned seventeen he was already active in the underground hip hop scene in Daegu. And you were often used as a scapegoat to distract his parents from his absence rather than being by his side.
âIâm supposed to be cool, Y/N. I canât have you by my side like a clingy sister every performance,â he had whined while you gave him an unimpressed look.Â
âCool, my butt.â
You had been the one to help him pack the day before his move to Seoul, choosing which clothes were best fit for the fancy big city neither of you had experience living in.Â
âTake the black one,â you had ordered.
âBut I like the yellow one.â
âIt makes you look like a middle schooler, donât you want to be taken seriously?â
He switched it out without another word.Â
His first year in Seoul went by with constant phone calls and texts. You even got scolded by your mother for spending your entire monthly phone credit in just two weeks for constantly calling him.Â
And then one day it just stopped.
At first you hadnât thought much of it. Yoongi was busy, and he often left you on read due to time restraints. But then it got suspicious. To the point even his own mother had received the same treatment.Â
âAre you dead?â
âYoongs?â
âAre you okay?â
âDid I do something?â
âHello?â
There were days between each one. And then weeks later, you got a reply;
âIâm fine.âÂ
You called right away, but it went unanswered.Â
You couldnât even remember your feelings back then, it felt too long ago. An emotional turmoil of a teenager that made no sense. And you had no choice but to grow up and continue your own life despite the heartbreak of a friendship lost.Â
Thatâs why it felt strange at first when you stumbled across it; Bangtan Sonyeondanâs debut.Â
It was a strange name, with an even stranger concept. But you had recognized him.Â
Of course you had.Â
And ever since that moment, he had never left your orbit even from a distance. Even when you didnât want to, you saw it all. From their failed attempts to remain popular, to songs that didnât make it big yet were still added to your playlist for genuinely being good music.Â
It came to a point where you no longer viewed him as your Yoongi. But rather BTSâ Suga, and a part of you was convinced it helped you move on quicker.Â
Then COVID hit, and you were forced to move back home to your parents.Â
You chalked it up to coincidence at first; running into his mother at the grocery store after how many years? She had grown excited, even teary-eyed and hugged the life out of you as she cooed over how grown you were. A beautiful young woman.Â
âYou know, I think heâd love to hear from you.â
Your breath had hitched, until you forced out a small, polite laugh. âItâs been years. I doubt he even remembers.â
She had given you a knowing glance, rummaged in her bag and ripped out a small piece of paper and written a number on it. âHeâs having a bit of a rough time right now, with everything being cancelled. I think a text from you would cheer him up.â
You felt your chest tighten, memories flooding back. The late-night calls, the unanswered messages, even the reluctant acceptance of distance.
âIâll think about it, thank you.â
And you thought about it. For days. Staring at that single slip of paper like it was your largest obstacle.
âHey. Itâs Y/N. From Daegu.âÂ
It had only been an hour when the reply came.Â
âI know.â
âAnother shot?â Jiminâs voice snapped you from your thoughts, chopsticks hovering dramatically over the grill.
âYeah,â you said with a small laugh, reaching for your glass. Tae clinked his against yours, smirking.
Yoongi glanced at you, brow slightly raised, as if he could tell your mind was elsewhere. âYou okay?â His silent question was obvious and you just assured him with a smile.Â
Yoongi always kept the grill going and filled your bowl to the point you were ready to roll home. So when it hit 10PM, you stood up with a stretch. âRight, time for me to head off.â
Yoongiâs brows furrowed as he glanced at the time. âItâs late already, just stay over.â
âNuh uh. I stay at your place almost more than my own, and I still pay my bills.â
âJust stay and let me drive you home tomorrow morning.â
âThe bus straight to my house is literally down the road,â You gave him a pointed look. âBesides, Itâs my first day off in a week, so I will be rotting in my own bed and eating unhealthy food the entire day.â
With that declaration you grabbed your bag and gave them all a wave over your shoulder. âDonât text me tomorrow unless someoneâs dying.â
âAt least let me call you a taxi!â He called at your retreating back.
âBuh bye!â Was all you said, and the sound of the door being unlocked and closing again. You left behind a waft of your favorite perfume; a deep warm combination of something spicy and floral.
Silence swiftly took over in your departure besides the TV. Well, for five seconds at least, until Jimin broke it.
âSo whenâs the wedding, hyung?â
âWhat are you on about?â
âOh come on!â He giggled. âYouâre telling me she isnât the perfect woman for you?â
âSheâs Y/N,â Yoongi rolled his eyes.
Taehyung smirked knowingly âYeah, Y/N whoâs been by your side since you were both ten.â
âYah, not you too, Taehyung.â
âIâm just saying, hyung. Jimin has a point.â
âWhat point? Sheâs my best friend.â
âThe point, that she's the only female whoâs been by your side longer than your mom. And youâre saying you donât have feelings for her?â
âStop being a nuisance and finish the food.â
âHyungnim!â Jimin suddenly spat out firmly, his face exaggeratingly strict which did not go in hand with his flushed cheeks and messy hair, as Taehyung snorted.
Yoongi only raised a brow silently, waiting.
âAs your family, we think you need to pull your denial out of your ass and start looking.â
He ran a hand through his longer hair now, sighing heavily, knowing the two younger men wouldnât let this go until he heard them out.
âMeaning?â
âBe honest, hyung,â Taehyung had dropped his chopsticks, leaning forward conspicuously over the table like they were discussing some kind of secret. âAre you telling us you havenât once looked at Y/N noona and thought she was attractive?âÂ
Whether he was actually thinking about it or just teasing them by taking an extra long time to pour his shot and then sip it, they didnât know. But Yoongi finally answered with a light shrug. âI have.â
âBecause I can definitely tell you that Jeonggukieâwait what?â Taehyung actually looked genuinely surprised whilst Jimin let out a triumphant laugh while clapping.
âYou have?â
Another shrug. âIâm well aware that Y/N is a pretty woman.â
âThen why havenât you told her?â
âI tell her all the time.â
Jimin cut in with his continuous giggles. âHyung, telling her she looks good, is not the same as telling your potential girlfriend you look beautiful.â
âStop getting ahead of yourself. Who said anything about a girlfriend?â
âOh my God.â
Leaning back in his chair, Yoongi zeroed back on Tae. âWhat were you saying about Jeongguk?â
It was Taehyungâs turn to shrug. âWeâre pretty sure he has a crush on Y/N.â
âWhat makes you say that?â
Jimin exhaled, holding up his hand ready to count. âSheâs pretty, smart, independent, physically fit, has tattoos and bonus points for being older. Thatâs pretty much his type.â
Yoongi didnât react immediately. Because when Min Yoongi didnât react, he was thinking. Deeply at that.Â
Their hyung usually had a quick brain, and never failed to make them speechless with how smart he actually was.Â
So thisâŚthis was a good sign. Right?
"He told you that?â
Jimin blinked. âHuh?â
âDidnât think he had a type,,â Yoongi repeated flatly, eyes still on the table, fingers idly tracing the rim of his glass. âDid he tell you that, or are you just assuming?â
Taehyung and Jimin shared a look.
âWe have eyes, hyung,â Taehyung said carefully. âHeâs not exactly subtle.â
Jimin nodded enthusiastically. âYeah, he gets allââ he gestured vaguely, shoulders hunching as he put on a poor imitation, ââNoona~ did you eat?â âNoona~ you look tiredâââ
âItâs actually quite pitiful to witness,â Taehyung added.Â
Yoongi clicked his tongue, looking away. âYouâre both reading too much into it.â
Then Jimin leaned forward slightly, resting his chin in his hand, eyes narrowing just a little. âHyung.â
âWhat.â
âYou know weâre not saying this to mess with you, right?â
He rolled his eyes, mouth tugging. âI know.â
âThen why are you acting like this?â
Yoongi exhaled sharply, standing up before either of them could say anything else to grab a bottle of soju and shutting the fridge door a little harder than needed. âBecause the two of you are trying to fish for something that isnât there..â
âYouâre certain about that?â Taehyung asked unflinchingly. He had grown more outspoken with his thoughts around his oldest members after the military, and Yoongi was getting the whole spectacle right now. âYouâve been weird about her for a while now.â
Yoongi turned slightly, leaning back against the counter, arms crossing. âOkay, weird how?â
Jimin exchanged another look with Taehyung before answering. âYou watch her.â
Yoongiâs jaw clenched, expression still trying to feign disinterest.Â
âLike, all the time,â Jimin added. âYou think no one notices, butââ
âThatâsââ
âYou do,â Taehyung smirked. âAnd you get annoyed when someone else is paying attention to her.â
âI donâtââ
âAnd you always make sure she eats,â Jimin continued, back to counting on his fingers now. âAnd you let her do whatever she wants here, but if anyone else does the same thing, you complain.â
Yoongi opened his mouth to protest, but his members were doing their darn best to not let him get a single word in.Â
âYou remember things she says that she doesnât even remember saying.â
He looked away, down at the floor, really. At the slippers covering his feet ââŚso what?â he muttered. âSheâs my friend.â
Jimin tilted his head. âIs that all she is?â
âYes.â The answer came out automatically.
But it must have worked, because the persistence of Jimin and Taehyung seemed to calm down as they shrugged and finally left the topic alone, as if agreeing to let him off the hook for tonight.Â
So to distract himself from their annoying gazes and muttered laughter, he did the dishes. Slowly and meticulously, because his brain was whirring too much to actually focus.Â
And without his knowledge, Jimin smiled lightly behind his tense back exchanging a silent fist bump with Tae, as if the both of them didnât just drop something in their second-oldest hyungâs lap and just disappear.Â
ââŚTch.â
+
The tip of your pointed heels were pinching your toes for each step as you got off the bus in a slight hurry, trying to smooth down your freshly curled hair and flyaways all in one movement as the venue got closer. There were already dozens of guests mingling inside, holding champagne flutes and exchanging polite conversation as you brushed past them.Â
You spotted the main couple near one of the double entrances greeting guests, and as you got closer your friendâs face brightened in recognition.Â
âY/N, you came!â She squealed happily, hugging you as her white poofy dress swallowed your legs as you stepped into the hug.Â
You grinned at her excitement, impressed that she still had that much energy and returned the hug gently to not ruin anything. âOf course I came, you invited me.â
âThank you for coming, Y/N,â Her husband smiled beside her, shaking your hand.Â
âOf course, of course,â you waved off their gratitude before pulling out the white envelope from your purse. âWhereâs the box?â
âOooh, Iâll show you!â Soojin, your childhood friend, looped her arm through yours. âHoney, will you take over a bit? I need some girl talk.â
Her husband only smiled. âYou two go ahead, I can handle the crowd.â
Before you had a chance to protest, Soojin was already pulling you into the venue hall where dozens of round tables were set up filled with people, but she pulled you further to the back where a large box for money envelopes stood and grabbed a flute of champagne for you on the way.Â
âSo,â you finally managed to pull her to a stop as the two of you stood in the corner, private but not hidden from sight. âHow does it feel to be married?â
âUgh, tiring,â Soojin let her head drop back, long veil brushing the floor. âBut at least itâs almost over and done with.â
You glanced out of the room. âWho are even all these people?â
She waved her hand. âNo idea. Most of them are his colleagues or friends of his parentsâ. My family and I just invited close friends and relatives.â
Sipping from the glass, you chuckled but stopped when noticing her looking. âWhat?â
âHowâs everything on your end? Any handsome gentleman that is making those wedding bells ring?â
âGod no!â You scoffed. âIâm a single, thirty-three year old woman who works at two different cafĂŠs. Not exactly dating material.â
âGirl,â Soojin pushed your shoulder in disagreement. âWho gives a shit what your job is, at least you have one!â
Fair point.Â
You huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you took another sip of champagne. âYeah, well, try telling that to literally any man over thirty.â
âTheyâre idiots,â she dismissed immediately. âAnd probably intimidated.â
âBy what? My ability to steam milk and survive on three hours of sleep?â
âBy this,â she gestured vaguely at you, up and down, as if that explained everything. âYouâve always had this thing, you know. Like you donât need anyone. Independent woman and all that shit.â
A part of you was strangely touched by that.Â
âI donât,â you replied lightly, though it came out quieter than intended.
Soojinâs expression softened just a fraction, like she caught the shift but chose not to dig. âStill,â she nudged you again, grin returning. âif anyone tries anything tonight, I expect a full report.â
You rolled your eyes. âAt your own wedding?â
âEspecially at my own wedding. Itâs prime matchmaking territory.â
âIâm not getting set up with someoneâs cousin.â
âToo late,â she sang, already reaching for your hand again. âCome on, I need to introduce you toââ
âSoojin!â Her name was called from across the room, sharp enough to cut through the chatter.
She groaned dramatically. âSaved by the bell.â
âGo,â you laughed, gently pushing her away. âBride duties.â
She squeezed your hand once more before letting go. âDonât disappear, okay?â
âNo promises.â
And just like that, she was gone, swallowed back into the crowd, her white dress a moving beacon among dark suits and muted colors of people dressed in mostly sleek business attires rather than fancy dresses.Â
You ended up seated somewhere in the middle of the hall, wedged between a couple who introduced themselves as Soojinâs university friends and another woman who barely looked up from her phone.They were nice enough, with polite smiles, brief introductions and small talk that never quite went anywhere if you were being honest.Â
You nodded when appropriate, laughed when expected, sipped your drink awkwardly when silence stretched just a second too long.
ââŚand then we all went to Busan for spring break, it was insaneââ
The plates came and went, courses replaced one after another as speeches started, applause echoing across the room in bursts. You clapped along, half-genuine half out of your depth watching Soojin from afar; her bright smile, the way she leaned into her husband without thinking, the ease of it.
Something in your chest pinched at the sight. Jealousy perhaps, or even longing. You wondered just briefly, how it would feel. To have something like this, a day of celebration with a person constant at your side.Â
You prided yourself in being an independent woman in a big city like Seoul. Surviving by yourself, not needing anyone to help with most things, but then he happened. Yoongi swooped back into your life like some damn hurricane, flipping your days upside down.Â
No longer did you wake up to a silent phone, but a text message telling you to come over to dinner. Sometimes you found his car parked outside after a late shift and he would drive you home, or if you stayed over he would drive you to work with a full stomach.Â
It was nauseating how caring he was without realizing it, and it didnât help that your heart and stomach fluttered at everything he did.Â
By the time dessert rolled around, you were halfway through mentally planning what greasy takeout youâd order tomorrow when her familiar voice came again.Â
âY/N!â You looked up to see Soojin slipping into the empty chair beside you, slightly breathless, cheeks flushed from moving around all evening.
âFinally found you,â she said, grabbing your arm like she was afraid youâd disappear.
You smiled, setting your fork down. âIâve been here the whole time.â
âI know, but everyone keeps pulling me everywhere,â she huffed, before her eyes scanned your table briefly. âAre you okay? You look a bit bored.â
âIâm not bored,â you lied easily. âJust tired, double shifts.â
âMm,â she hummed, clearly not buying it. Then, like a switch flipped, her expression brightened. âOkay, but listen. I know someone.â
You blinked. âPlease no.â
âYes.â
âNo.â
âHeâs single, works in finance, makes good moneyââ
âI donât care if he owns the bank, Soojin.â
âHeâs tall!â
You gave her a flat look. âThatâs your selling point?â
âItâs an important one.â
You let out a quiet laugh despite yourself, shaking your head. âIâm not interested. But appreciate the effort.â
âWhy not?â she pressed. âYou canât just be single forever.â
âDo you want to bet on that?â
âIâm serious!â
âSo am I,â you said with a giggle, lifting your glass.Â
âGirl, stop,â she nudged you hard enough to make you lean slightly. âYouâre hot, youâre funny, and youâve always had your life together way more than the rest of us.â
âThatâs debatable.â
âItâs not,â she insisted. âAnd you should be dating. You deserve that.â
You softened a little at that, but still shook your head. âItâs just not⌠something Iâm thinking about right now.â
âThatâs exactly why I need to interfere.â
âOh my god.â
âIâm just sayingââ she leaned closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially, âwhat about someone you already know?â
You narrowed your eyes slightly. âI donât like where this is going.â
She grinned. âWhat about Min Yoongi?â
You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden name drop as your heart hammered. âWhy him?â
Soojin tilted her head, studying you. âDidnât you guys date?â
âWhat?â you let out a short laugh, shaking your head immediately. âNo. Since when?â
âThatâs what everyone thought,â she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. âYou were literally attached at the hip.â
âYeah, well,â you shrugged, glancing down at your plate, âwe also didnât speak for like ten years after.â
There was a small pause, enough for you to look up only to regret. Because her eyes were fucking sparkling like the diamonds from her engagement ring she had sent a picture of.Â
âNo,â you warned immediately.
âYou like him.â
âSoojinââ
âYou do!â
You dragged a hand over your face, groaning under your breath. âCan you not start something at your own wedding?â
âThis isnât something, this is a revelation.â
âItâs not.â
âYou didnât deny it.â
âI just did.â
âNo, you deflected.â
âOkay, fine!â You leaned in slightly, lowering your voice despite the noise around you. âBut you do realize weâre talking about one of the worldâs most famous idols right now?â
âAnd?â she shot back instantly.
âAnd that should end the conversation and the possibility of anything.â
Soojin didnât answer immediately, which was worse. She always had something to say. âNo,â she shook her head lightly. âThatâs your excuse.â
You let out a short, disbelieving laugh. âExcuse? For what?â
âFor not even trying.âÂ
Your jaw tightened just slightly. âThatâs notââ you started, then stopped, fingers tightening around your glass. âItâs not that simple.â
âThen make it simple for me,â she said, softer now, but just as persistent. âBecause from where Iâm sitting, youâre shutting something down before it even exists.â
You glanced away, eyes drifting back toward the head table where she had been sitting earlier, where everything looked natural.Â
Because the fear of your feelings ruining this friendship again was something you didnât want to see happen. Just the thought of it was more painful than actually being rejected. You had gone a decade without him, and now that you finally had him back in your life, you didnât want to lose him again.
âHeâs my best friend,â you said instead, the words coming out more firmly than you felt. âIâm not risking that.â
âAnd?â she asked after a moment.
âAnd,â you continued, voice lower now, âhe has his life. I have mine.â
âThat doesnât meanââ
âIt kind of does,â you cut in gently. âBe realistic for a second.â
Her brows furrowed. âI am being realistic.â
âNo,â you shook your head, finally looking back at her. âYouâre being romantic.â
âAnd youâre being pessimistic.â
âHow?.â
âBy being scared.â
You went quiet, because there wasnât an immediate comeback for that. Soojinâs gaze softened just a little when you didnât respond. âYou still talk to him, donât you?â she asked.
â...yeah.â
âHow is it? When you do?â
You let out a small breath, looking down at your hands. âItâs normal,â you said after a second. âLike nothing changed.â
âAnd you donât think that means anything?â
You gave a faint, almost tired smile. âIt means we were friends for a long time.â
âMaybe thatâs not all?â Soojin let out a breath, turning to fully face you sitting sideways on the chair. âYouâre saying itâs not realistic because heâs an idol, and that might be true for fans, but youâre not a fan, Y/N. Youâre already neck deep in his world.â
âIf I cross that line,â you said slowly, choosing your words carefully, âthereâs no going back.â
Soojin stayed quiet.
âSo Iâd rather justâŚâ you trailed off, shrugging lightly. âKeep it like this.â
Her lips pressed together, like she didnât quite agree but understood anyway. âAnd youâre okay with that?â
Your eyes flickered, almost unconsciously, back toward the front of the room. Toward her, her husband, the soft glow of something settled and certain before looking away again with a shrug.Â
âI have to be.â
+
You woke up late.
Deliciously late.Â
It was definitely later than intended, but not enough to make you feel guilty about it. The curtains were half-drawn, letting in dull winter light that made everything feel slower than usual.Â
You stared at the ceiling for a moment, duvet pulled to your chin and trapping the comfortable warmth underneath, mind blank.Â
Until it wasnât.Â
Your brain, traitor that it was, immediately started replaying yesterday.
Yoongiâs hand brushing against yours when he passed you the glass.
The way he had said, just stay over.
The way he alwaysâ
You groaned, dragging the blanket over your face. âStop it,â you muttered.Â
It didnât mean anything, because it never did. Especially when it came from him. Itâs just who he was and youâve known that since you were ten. But still, it was your own fault not listening to the oldest rule in the friendship book, aka. falling for your own best friend.Â
You dropped the blanket and stared at the ceiling again. ââŚannoying,â you sighed.
You stretched lazily, letting your arm fall back onto the bed as you debated getting up when your phone buzzed from the bedside table.Â
Your brows furrowed slightly as you turned your head, reaching for your phone.
Jeonggukkie:
are you alive?
You huffed a small laugh, already typing back.
You:
barely
Three dots appeared immediately.
Jeonggukkie:
dramatic
did you eat
You stared at the message just as your stomach rumbled and the time finally made you realize it was actually 1PM already.Â
You:
Not yet
A small pause went by.Â
Jeonggukkie:
ok, iâm coming over
Your eyes widened slightly, fingers tapping furiously
You:
why
Jeonggukkie:
donât argue
20 mins
actually give me 30Â
You blinked at the screen. ââŚThis kid,â you muttered, but there was no real annoyance behind it.
You pushed yourself up with a sigh, stretching as your feet hit the floor. âGuess I have to be a functioning adult now,â you mumbled, dragging yourself toward the bathroom.
Twenty five minutes later there was a knock at your door. Jeongguk stood there, hood up, cap and mask on with two bags of food in his hands as well as takeaway coffee. You stepped aside quickly, pulling him in and shutting the door behind him like you were hiding a fugitive. âDid anyone see you?â
âNope.â
âAre you sure?â
âYes.â
âDid you check?â
He blinked. âCheck what?â
âThe street? The cameras? The neighbors?â
He just stared at you as you locked the door. âYouâre stressed.â
âI am stressed,â you snapped, turning to face him. âIâm stressed for you. Why are you not stressed?â
âIâm stressed in appropriate situationsâ he said easily, slipping off his shoes. âJust not about this.â
âThatâs worse.â
He laughed under his breath, holding up the bags. âI brought food. RosĂŠ tteokbokki, mild flavored, and pork belly.â Â
You still refused to give in, even though you were practically drooling at the smell wafting towards you now, until he held up the last bag of two coffees.Â
âI also bought your favorite; vietnamese iced coffee.â
âFine,â you gave in, pulling out a chair and dropping down opposite of him as he was already unpacking everything and grabbed two pairs of chopsticks from your drawer.Â
Jeongguk shrugged off his jacket and mask, as he grinned knowingly at your weakness.Â
âYou always bring food when youâre committing crimes.â
âIâm not committing a crime.â
âYouâre an internationally known idol sneaking into a civilianâs apartment unannounced,â you said, grabbing the first piece of meat and then tteok, humming content. âThat feels illegal.â
He never stopped that grin, following you in grabbing some food and handing you the coffee after stirring it, like this was the most normal thing in the world.
âYou worry too much, noona.â
âI worry the exact right amount,â you shot back. âOne blurry photo and your entire company will be breathing down your neck.â
âAs if they dare.â
You turned to glare at him. âConfidence much?.â
âAnd you are way too paranoid.â
You opened your mouth â then paused. âOkay, maybe a little.â
He snorted. âA little?â
âShut up, kid.â
Both of you ate mostly in silence, although you noticed him only taking a small bite here and then, letting you enjoy yourself while sipping on his own coffee. You were the one who had introduced the boys to the deliciousness that was Vietnamese iced coffee with condensed milk, and you would catch most of them drinking it now and then after practice, or whenever you met up with them for quick coffee catch-ups.Â
Jeongguk leaned back slightly, watching you with quiet satisfaction. âYou look less dead from the last time I saw you.â
âWow. Thank you. What a way to make a woman feel better.â
âYouâre welcome.â
You rolled your eyes, but your shoulders had already dropped. As you leaned back in your rickety little plastic chair you got on a sale on Coupang, you watched Jeongguk carefully.Â
He did look wholly out of place in your little studio loft apartment that probably fit in his living room alone. But he still found it comfortable here in your space. Like an annoying little brother who had nowhere else to go, as if his six older members didnât have large fancy homes of their own.Â
He was just persistent when it came to you, and worried as if his schedule wasnât a hundred times harder than your own minimum wage, mundane cafĂŠ jobs.Â
Jeongguk noticed you stopped eating and stood up wordlessly to pack the remaining leftovers in a box for later, and started cleaning up everything as well as recycling, leaving you to relax and enjoy your coffee.
âI heard you went to hyungâs yesterday.â
What a smooth talker. âHm, did Jimin snitch?â
He chuckled. âIt was Taehyung hyung, actually.â
âAnd what did he say?â
âNothing much. Just that you came by while they were eating.â
âRightâŚyouâre being nosy.â
Jeongguk shrugged, drying his hands on the towel before sitting back down. âI have eyes. And nosy hyungs who update me on everything even when Iâm not interested.â
âYou and everyone else, I suppose.â
He huffed a quiet laugh, before turning serious again. âWhy havenât you told him yet?â
You flickered up a brow, pausing your sipping on the straw. âI told you that in confidence,â you said flatly. âNot to use as ammunition.â
Jeongguk ignored your dig. âYou should tell him.â
You snorted immediately. âYeah, no.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause I enjoy my stressfree life?â
âThatâs a lie.â
You leaned back. âOh?â
âYouâre miserable when you overthink, noonaâ he stated simply. âAnd youâve been doing that a lot, so not as âstressfreeâ as you think.â
You narrowed your eyes. âYouâre very observant for someone who used to have a crush on me.â
âUsed to,â he emphasized, as if the memory itself brought forward shudders. âAnd very briefly at that.â
It was fucking ironic, actually. You, sitting here discussing your current long-time crush on your best friend with one of his best friends that used to have his own crush on you.Â
Jeongguk, despite his younger age, had been upfront about his feelings for you right before his military enlistment. Thankfully he hadnât been too deep in to actually get heartbroken when you both gave it two dates before realizing friends fit you better.Â
Not that anyone was aware of this. God, the chaos it would bring if they knew.Â
âMm.â The silence settled for a bit, as you forced yourself to relax before admitting. âItâs complicated.â
Jeongguk pursed his lips in thought. âDoes it have to be?â
âIt does with him.â
Jeongguk didnât respond right away. âWhat if he likes you too?â
You let out a small laugh. âNot possible. Heâs Min Yoongi. His love is his work.â
âMaybe a couple of years ago, but weâve all matured since then.â
You shook your head. âI donât want to worry about it right now, Guk. Letâs not, okay.â
He wanted to protest, you saw it. But he respected you enough to not push so he nodded.Â
âOkay, noona. Letâs just relax, how about a movie?â
You smiled thankfully. âSounds good. You choose.â
And just as you were settled in the couch and the intro started playing, your phone buzzed with a text.Â
Yoongs:
What are you doing?
You typed a reply without much thought.Â
You:Â
watching a movie with guk
You waited for a reply, but it never arrived. Not even after the movie had ended and Jeongguk had left.
+
A couple of days go by before you find yourself looking for him again. But this time itâs at HYBE.Â
You always feel like a nervous wreck stepping inside the intimidating glass building, your stomach fluttering with worries that probably wonât happen.Â
Like the security dragging you out on suspicions for being a stalker fan, for example.Â
God, your brain went haywire sometimes.Â
You follow the protocols carefully; stepping up to the reception desk as they register your already known name, printing the guest tag and band for you to wear around your neck with a polite smile.Â
There were so many people walking in and out of this building on a daily, that most employees didnât blink when you arrived. For them you could be anyone. From a visiting stylist to a dancer, or even business partner. As long as your name was in the system, it meant you had already passed all security checks and approved for visits whenever.Â
This time you felt slightly more confident, tapping yourself through the gate and waiting for the lift surrounded by strangers and not fidgeting too much. Your destination was one of the higher floors; dedicated to the Big Hit creative team, and where Yoongiâs studio was located.Â
You were the only one still in the lift by the time it was your turn to get off, and when you arrived at the closed door of his studio you stared at the keypad for a second longer than necessary. The code still worked a moment later, of course it did, before you pushed the door open and the familiar quiet of Yoongiâs place greeted you immediately.
It was darker than usual, but he was there. On the large, comfortable office chair in front of his desk with four screens, a microphone and more speakers than you could identify.Â
Despite being half-inside the room already, you knocked lightly anyway.
âYoongs?â
The studio smelled faintly like decaf and something warmer, perhaps tea. He had reached a stage of only decaf these last few years, which honestly hurt your coffee-loving soul more than anything. The glow of his monitors lit up his face in soft blues and purples, shadows resting under his eyes but nothing you hadnât seen before.Â
His black hair was also long again, with bangs framing his now slimmer face from when he first got out of the military.Â
Yoongi didnât turn right away, just lifted a hand briefly in acknowledgment.
You hovered for a second before lifting the bag slightly. âI brought food.â
That got his attention. He turned his chair halfway, eyes flickering down to the bag before settling on you. âWhat is it?â
You held it up like an offering. âDonât act like youâre not going to eat it.â
A faint huff left him, something just short of a laugh. âDid I say that?â
âYou were about to.â You walked over to the low table by the L-shaped couch against the wall, taking out the containers and drinks, already moving like youâve done it a hundred times. Because, honestly, you had. âOr something along the lines of not being hungry.â
Standing back up with your hands on your hips, you turned to face him again with a pointed look. âYou havenât eaten yet, right?â
âNot yet,â Yoongi confirmed, never seeing the point of lying to you when you already knew him so well.Â
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. âShocking.â
You handed him a pair of chopsticks before taking the seat on the small couch tucked against the wall. He swiveled his chair slightly, accepting them without a word.
You had cooked an average pesto pasta with marinated chicken strips. Nothing fancy, and definitely easier to buy as delivery. But a part of you still remembered when Yoongi complimented your cooking during one of the rare times you had made it for him, and he said it tasted better than the ones at restaurants.Â
You were annoyed how vivid that simple comment still stayed with you.Â
You watched him, but not obviously. And never long enough to get caught.Â
JustâŚsmall enough glances to feel satisfied.Â
The way his hair fell slightly into his eyes when he leaned forward. The way his fingers moved without thinking, precise and practiced, even when he was just picking at food with the chopsticks. How fine and elegant his hands looked. Â
He looked a little tired, you noted. Not surprising, with how much they were all still fine-tuning the new album.Â
Something in your chest tugged at the sight.Â
âDid you sleep at all?â You asked after a couple of bites.Â
He hummed. âA little.â
You narrowed your eyes. âThatâs not an answer.â
He just shrugged and instead took a bite, knowing you werenât one to stop him from eating.Â
You leaned back into the couch, exhaling softly. âYouâre going to burn out again.â
It slipped out before you could stop it. His hand paused mid-air for a fraction of a second, then continued.
âI wonât,â He assured you, sounding calm and confident and you did believe him. But a part of you was always worried.Â
âYou always say that.â
âAnd Iâm still here.â
You tilted your head slightly, watching him. âI guess.â
Suddenly there was a knock against the door, and you remained seated watching as he stood up and opened the door to grab whatever the person on the other side handed to him before it closed again.Â
Yoongi handed it to you, as you pulled out a large sized cup of Vietnamese iced coffee from your favorite coffee shop chain, and felt your heart swell.Â
âI ordered when you said you were on the way up.â
You smiled faintly into your drink, savoring the taste. âThanks.â
Your gaze drifted back to him. To the way he had already turned back toward his screen, attention slipped back into his work like nothing else existed.
You knew that look. You've seen it since you were kids.
Back when it was notebooks and scribbles instead of full studios and polished tracks. When you sat next to him on a rooftop, pretending you werenât watching him as closely as you were.
And somehow nearly fifteen years later, you found yourself still watching.Â
âPlay it.â The words left your mouth before you could overthink them.
He didnât turn. âPlay what.â
âWhatever youâre working on.â
âItâs not finished.â
âWhen have I ever cared?â
You could almost hear the hesitation as he scrolled through a couple of files, almost thinking which one to choose before a sound filled the studio.Â
âŤTwenty-four hours in the tubTwenty-four hours of your thoughtZ-z-z, don't wake me upężě´ëŠ´ ꚨ기 ěŤě´, ë´.â
FantasyIt's a fantasy (Ayy, you next to me)It's a fantasy (Oh)You're my fantasy (Take that) âŤ
The damn irony of those lyrics, you wanted to scoff to yourself.Â
âItâs good.â Your voice came out softer than intended, perhaps softer than needed for the poppiness of the song that had filled the studio.Â
His eyes flickered toward you, just enough that you noticed. And for a second it felt like he was waiting for something else. Instead he huffed lightly. âThatâs it?â
You smiled a little. âDo you want me to lie and say itâs bad?â
âNo.â
âThen itâs good.â You pulled your legs up on the couch, tucking them underneath you.Â
He didnât respond, but you saw it. The smallest shift in his shoulders and the way his posture relaxed just slightly, as if you had confirmed something for him. You couldnât fathom why he cared that much for your opinion. Your musical understanding was minimal at best.Â
âYou always say that,â he muttered.Â
âBecause itâs always true.â
You looked away first, distracting yourself on your phone. Because if you didnât, you might keep staring.
And if you kept staringâŚYou honestly didnât want to think about that.
Your fingers tightened slightly around your cup instead, wanting to say more. You always did, but the words stayed where they were. Always caught somewhere frustratingly uncomfortable between your chest and your throat.
+
Fuck. He genuinely forgot how tiring concert and comeback prep used to be.Â
Spending months in LA creating songs was a different mental tiredness he could handle better. But the physicality of things? At damn age when it feels like his knees would crack by the slightest bend? Someone give him a break, please.Â
Luckily he wasnât the only one who thought so. All of them were struggling more than normal, besides Seokjin and Hoseok, who had been doing their own things for a while now and gotten used to the rush again.Â
Him and the others though? What a mess.Â
Jimin and Taehyung would giggle every five minutes at their attempts of coordinating, while Jeongguk would be the one to try and pick a fight just for the fun of it. Namjoon tried his best, laughing along and whining whenever a member teased his dancing, which had actually improved rather than gotten worse.Â
The guys had even been impressed with the muscle mass he had put on in the last couple of months since returning to Korea. With nothing to do with his time besides finishing up the album, he had decided that starting to hit the gym more seriously was a good idea.Â
Still, he had managed to switch out one mental stress for another. From album concerns to his own personal life now beating the fuck out of him whenever he thought of a person.Â
Yoongi was already exhausted by the time he stepped out of the practice studio for a quick pick-me-up. All he wanted was ten minutes of silence and maybe another decaf coffee he absolutely did not need, but could pretend would help him with his exhaustion.Â
The placebo effect was real, he was convinced.Â
But instead, he heard your very familiar laugh echoing down the hallway. A voice that shouldnât be in this building at the moment, to his knowledge.Â
His steps slowed automatically when he rounded the corner. Jeongguk was leaning against the wall beside you, phone in hand while showing you something on the screen. You stood close enough that your shoulder kept bumping his arm every time you laughed.
âNo, waitâplay that again,â you said through laughter.
âIâm telling you, hyung looked ridiculous.â
âJeongguk!!â
âWhat?â He grinned unapologetically before replaying the video anyway.
Yoongi recognized it immediately, to his chagrin. A behind-the-scenes clip from years ago where he had nearly fallen asleep during an interview, of his eyes dropping in real-time and becoming a meme in the fandom and their groupchat.Â
Traitor.
You dissolved into laughter again, instinctively grabbing Jungkookâs sleeve for balance. And something inside Yoongi twisted unpleasantly. Which was somehow worse when Jeongguk was the first one to notice him there, of course the damn kid did.Â
His grin shifted instantly into something more suspicious, which Yoongi did not like.
âYoongi-hyung.â He straightened casually. âYou done already?â
Your head turned immediately, your face lighting up the second you saw him. âThere you are.â
Again, that dangerous little sense of relief settled in his chest at your expression. Yoongi shoved his hands into his pockets. âWhat are you two doing?â
âBullying you, apparently,â you answered easily.
Jungkook snorted. âShe started it.â
âYou literally showed me the video!â
âAnd you enjoyed it.â
âI did.â
Yoongi couldnât help watching the way Jungkook looked at you when you spoke. The stupid word of Jimin and Taehyung replaying around in his mind of his apparent crush on you.Â
It was clearly comfortable and playful, perhaps even too comfortable if he could add.Â
Then Jungkook casually threw an arm over your shoulders, clearly a thoughtless action that he had done several times before. But Yoongiâs jaw tightened instantly.
You, completely oblivious, kept talking like nothing happened. ââŚand then he got mad at me for laughing,â you continued.
âI did not get mad.â
âYou glared at me for like three hours.â
âBecause you wouldnât stop laughing.â
Jungkook looked between the two of you briefly before a slow grin appeared on his face. âWow.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
âNothing.â His grin widened. âYou guys are seriously weird.â
If Yoongi hadnât paid as much attention as he did, he wouldnât have noticed the slightly sharp nudge you gave into Jeongguk's side as he flinched slightly away.Â
Yoongi narrowed his eyes slightly. Jungkook only looked more entertained. âI thought you were at work?âÂ
âIn an hour, itâs just around the corner so Iâd thought to stop by and cheer you all on,â you shrugged.Â
âYou should come eat with us first,â the brat offered.Â
Before you could answer, Yoongi spoke. âSheâs busy.â
Both of you looked at him. Including Yoongi himself, internally, while Jeonggukâs eyebrows lifted slowly.
You frowned. âAm I?â
âYou promised to help me with something before, remember?â The lie came easily.
âOh yeah! I remember now.â
For a second nobody spoke. Then Jeongguk looked like he was physically restraining himself from laughing. âRight,â he said carefully. âOf course she did.â
Your eyes narrowed suspiciously, but knowingly while Yoongi avoided looking directly at either of you. You had known each other long enough for you to pick up on his excuse and play along.Â
And suddenly Jungkook looked way too entertained for Yoongiâs liking.
+
The last employee finally waved goodbye before disappearing down the street, leaving you alone with the familiar task of locking up. You exhaled tiredly, turning the key as you rolled your tight shoulders before tugging lightly on the cafĂŠ door to make sure it was secure.Â
Your shoulders ached from the long shift, feet even worse, and all you could think about was getting home and collapsing face-first into bed, ignoring the uncomfortable tightness of your stomach.
The low rumble of an engine made you glance up, and a familiar black, gleaming car sat by the curb. You slowed down immediately with a sigh, but the affectionate smile was hard to hide.Â
And then the driverâs window rolled down. Yoongi looked at you from behind the wheel, one arm resting lazily near the window. âYou done?â
âWhat are you doing?â
âPicking you up, obviously.â
You gave him a pointed look. âAnd I told you to stop doing that.â
âYou said your shift ended late.â That explained absolutely nothing. Still, warmth spread embarrassingly fast through your chest as you crossed the little space toward him.
âYou didnât have to.â
âI know.âÂ
Which somehow made this entire situation worse for your stupid heart.
You slid into the passenger seat, immediately greeted by warmth and the faint scent of clean laundry mixed with his cologne. Familiar enough now that your body relaxed before your brain caught up.
âYou look tired,â he said once you buckled in.Â
âYeah, feel like shit.â You had never been dishonest to him about your work.Â
The car pulled smoothly back onto the mostly empty road at this time, only a handful of cars whizzing past. For a while, silence filled the space between you comfortably. The radio played quietly in the background while Seoulâs lights blurred outside the windows.
Then Yoongi glanced at you briefly. âDid you eat?â
You looked out the window immediately. âMaybe.â
âThat means no.â
âI was busy.â
âYouâre always busy.â
âSo are you.â
âYeah, and you yell at me for it.â
âWell obviously.â You frowned slightly. âSomebody has to.â
Yoongi hummed quietly, like he found that amusing. A few minutes later, however, you realized the roads looked wrong.
You frowned. âYoongs.â
âHm?â
âThis isnât the way to my apartment.â
âI know.â
You turned toward him slowly. âMin Yoongi.â
âYouâre eating first.â
âI can eat at home.â
âYou wonât.â Annoyingly enough, he sounded completely certain.
âYouâre very bossy today.â
âAnd youâre very stubborn.â
âYou say that like itâs new.â
A small smile tugged briefly at the corner of his mouth before disappearing again.
God. That stupid smile really needed to stop affecting you. And he needed to stop being so easy to love.Â
âYou can sit down,â he called. âIâll make you something to eat, it wonât take long.â
âI know where your couch is, Yoongi.â
âJust making sure you donât collapse halfway there.â
âYouâre hilarious.â
He smirked. âGo take a shower, you know where the clothes are.â
You sank into the couch with a quiet groan, letting your head fall back briefly before muttering. âI need to wait for a bit. Canât be bothered to move right now.â
You heard cupboards opening before Yoongi reappeared carrying two bowls, setting one in front of you on the coffee table. Ramyeon with extra green onions and two eggs, exactly how you liked it.
Your chest squeezed slightly, and he must have noticed your expression.Â
Yoongi looked at you like the answer shouldâve been obvious. âYou complain when people make it wrong.â
âI do not.â
âYou absolutely do.âÂ
âFine.â
A quiet huff of amusement left him as he sat beside you, knees touching yours as you both ate. For a while, the only sounds were the television playing softly in the background and the clinking of chopsticks against bowls before you sighed dramatically.Â
âWhat.â
âYou know, I never told you Soojinâs wedding exhausted me emotionally.â
Yoongi glanced over. âHow so?â
You slumped further into the couch. âDo you know how terrifying married people are?â
âThat sounds judgmental.â
âThey become obsessed with everyone else dating.â
His mouth twitched slightly. âAh.â
âShe tried setting me up with like three different men.â
Yoongiâs chopsticks paused briefly before continuing. âAnd?â
âAnd what?â
âDid you want her to?â
You blinked at him. âNot particularly.â
âWhy not, I thought you said having someone would be nice.â
You shrugged lightly, staring down into your empty bowl. âI donât know. Iâm busy with life. Iâm still paying down on my student debt, my monthly rent is going up in a bit and job applications are going nowhere.â
âYou could if you wanted to.â
You narrowed your eyes. âWhose side are you on?â
âIâm just asking.â Something about his tone felt strange to you, almost like an interrogation rather than his usual amused interest.Â
âYeah apparently so. She kept insisting Iâm âtoo pretty to be single,ââ you muttered with a grimace.
Yoongi looked at you then, and your stomach tightened slightly under the weight of it. âWell, sheâs right.â
You were fucking certain you were blushing like a damn tomato, but the dim lighting in the room hid most of it. You hoped so at least.Â
Were your hands clammy? They certainly felt like it.Â
You stared at him for half a second too long before forcing out an awkward laugh. âWow. Look at you being nice.â
âIâm serious, though.â
His voice stayed frustratingly steady, and suddenly the air between you felt different again. He was still looking at you, dark eyes looking more intense than you had seen him besides when working on music or on the stage in front of fans.Â
Your heartbeat started climbing for absolutely no reason. So naturally, your brain panicked. âYou know, one of them owned likeâŚthree cats.â
Tangie meowed just then from the top of one his cat towers in the room, as if knowing. Yoongi blinked once, clearly caught off guard by the abrupt subject change. âWhat?â
âAt least thatâs what Soojin said. Honestly that shouldâve been her opening line.â
A quiet laugh escaped him then. And God, you loved that sound more than you should.
âYouâre unbelievable,â he murmured almost knowingly.Â
Your eyes lifted toward his automatically, and this time neither of you looked away. The moment shouldâve lasted a second like it always did. The two of you making eyecontact was nothing strange. But it didnât.
he television kept talking softly in the background. Somewhere in the apartment, a pipe clicked faintly with the heat, Tangieâs claw were gently scraping against his post.Â
And Yoongiâs gaze dropped, just slightly. But enough to send your heart stuttering.
It was small. Barely there. So quick you almost convinced yourself you imagined it
Your throat went dry. âWhat?â you asked, quieter than before.
Yoongi didnât answer immediately. Instead, he leaned back into the couch, dragging a hand through his hair like he was physically resetting himself. âNothing.â
What a fucking lie, you both knew it.Â
Still, you nodded slowly, because that was easier than acknowledging what your body was suddenly doing. How aware you were of his knee still touching yours, of how close he actually was, of the fact that you could smell him even over the food.
Besides the entirely strange moment that just happened between you, you knew something was bothering him otherwise. And if you didnât ask him, you doubted any of the others would.Â
Your fingers tightened slightly in your lap. âYoongs, whatâs been bothering you?â you said carefully, like saying his name wrong might break something.
He exhaled through his nose, almost a laughâbut there was no humor in it. âPlease donât.â
You blinked. âDonât what?â
He shook his head once, like he was annoyed at himself more than you. âForget it.â
He started to stand, hands ready to take the bowls towards the kitchen. And that shouldâve been the end of it, but your hand moved before your brain caught up as you caught his sleeve.
Yoongi froze. His gaze flicked down briefly to where your hand still held his sleeve and you let go immediately. However, that didnât stop you from following him stiff form into the kitchen.Â
âWhy wonât you answer?â Your voice followed him before your feet fully caught up.
Yoongi stopped near the sink and didn't turn around immediately. The bowls were still in his hands, but he didnât set them down either.Â
For a second, all you could hear was the faint running of the refrigerator and the distant hum of the city outside the window. âBecause youâre not going to like it.â
That made you pause as you scoffed, leaning back against the counter behind you and crossing your arms. âTry me, Min Yoongi.â
Yoongi finally set the bowls down with more care than necessary and when he turned, it was slower than before. His eyes found yours instantly and stayed there as you swallowed.Â
âYou always do this,â he said quietly.
âDo what?â
âPush.â
Your brows knitted slightly, annoyance crawling underneath your skin. âIâm asking a question, Yoongi.â
âI know.â His voice softened, but carefully. Like he was holding something at the edge of slipping.
âThen answer it.â
Silence stretched again; long enough that your chest started tightening in a way you didnât like. What was he keeping from you? Had something happened? About the album or upcoming tour? Something more internal, perhaps.Â
AâŚgirlfriend?
Fuck, just the thought of it made something in you want to break but you kept it all together.Â
Then Yoongi exhaled slowly, dragging a hand through his hair, and when he looked at you again, something had changed. Resignation, you realized. He was done holding back whatever had been bothering him.Â
âYou donât notice it,â he said, and you held back from replying. His gaze flickered briefly down, then back up. âNever mind.â
Your frustration sharpened. âDonât do that. Start saying things and then stop halfway.â
That made something in his expression shift. âYou really want me to finish it?â he asked.
Your heart stuttered, but you nodded anyway. âOf course I fucking do, Yoongi. When have I never listened to you?â
A long silence, then Yoongi finally stepped closer. Just enough that now there was no pretending this was casual anymore.
âI donât like watching you with other people.â
Your breath caughtâbut you didnât interrupt. Because something in you already knew that wasnât the full sentence.
His voice dropped lower. âAnd I donât like how easily you laugh with them, and how I notice it.â
The room went still as your stomach twisted. Your voice came out smaller than you meant. ââŚYoongi.â
He didnât look away and barely moved. Just stayed there, like heâd already crossed a line he couldnât step back from.Â
âI donât know how to stop noticing you, Y/N.â
It was like your brain went dry, and very, very quiet. Your heartbeat hammering in your ears, the only thing you saw was him. Your hands were trembling too, gripping your clothes as you simply tried to take it all in.Â
Every time he picked you up when you didnât ask. Every time he asked if you ate like it mattered more than it should. Every time his eyes lingered just a second too long when you laughed at someone else. Every time he went quiet after Jungkook put an arm around you like it physically cost him something not to say anything.
It all snapped into place at once, the dumb realization of it. And how your own worries had been nothing at this point. You had worried for nothing.Â
And you felt so incredibly dumb.Â
Your chest tightened, like something inside you had been holding its breath for too long and finally let go.
In the turmoil of it all, Yoongi was still watching you carefully. As if he was waiting for rejection. ââŚsay something,â he said quietly.
That almost made you smile as you stepped closer. His eyes flickered down to you the moment the space between you changed, but he didnât move and chose to let you control the pacing.Â
Your hand came up first, gripping the front of his shirt as Yoongiâs breath caught slightly at the contact. That was a new reaction you only just noticed.Â
Youâd never seen him react like that before; like he was the one who might lose control. You loved it.Â
Your voice came out softer, but surprisingly steady for everything happening inside. âUnbelieveable.â
That was the moment everything inside you shifted from shock into certainty.Because Min Yoongi, calm, composed, unreadable Yoongi, was standing in front of you right now like you were the only thing he couldnât control.
And you had never wanted anything more.
His brows pulled faintly together. âWhat is?â
You didnât even bother to answer, just pulled him down to your height.Â
Yoongi froze for half a heartbeat before he gave in.Â
The kiss wasnât near anything soft and careful. His hand found your waist immediately, steadying you like instinct finally caught up with intention. The tension heâd been holding all night snapped, something long overdue.
Your fingers slid up into his shirt as if you needed something real to hold onto while your brain caught up with the fact that this was happeningâthis was himâthis was the thing youâd been orbiting without naming for years.
His mouth was relentless on yours, moving gently but urgently at the same time as you hummed into the kiss, his tongue caressing yours as you stumbled back into the counter behind you.Â
Yoongi groaned softly against your mouth, hands coming up to cup your face, fingers curling into your hair deliciously as you sighed.Â
When you finally broke it, it was only because you had to breathe. Yoongi stayed close, refusing to move as his forehead rested against yours, breathing heavier than before, like he didnât trust air to behave normally anymore.
The second kiss lingered longer than the first. Your heart was still catching up, beating unevenly in a way you were very aware of.
âSo,â you said eventually, voice softer than you meant it to be, âthis is happening.â
A faint breath left him, almost a laugh again, but warmer now. âYeah,â he said simply.
You tilted your head slightly, just enough to look at him properly, unguarded and sparkling. âAnd what now?â you asked.
His thumb moved once against your backâslow, grounding, like he was thinking with his body more than his words. âI certainly hope this meant youâre willing to become my girlfriend.â
You bit down on your lip, containing the grin wanting to stretch and he noticed it with a shy smile, ducking down to kiss the tip of your nose. âStop it.â
âI thought youâd never ask, Min Yoongi.â
âYouâre insufferable, you know that?â
âYes,â you giggled before tightening your hold around his waist, chin resting against his collarbones as your face tilted up. âBut you love it.â
His gaze softened visibly, tucking a loose strand behind your ear as his thumb brushed against your cheek. âI do.â
A little scene I thought up at work today⌠not a lot of romance here just some father/daughter stuff
yoongi as a father. yoongi sfw
Even deaf, she still wanted to play just like her father. Yoongi was propped in his studio chair, acoustic on his lap. Your daughter is standing between his legs, little hands flat against the body of the guitar. She looks up at him with all the love in the world.
âReady?â He smoothes her hair with one hand- then remembers to sign. He was still learning, admittedly. He wanted to, rather than hiring someone to teach her or getting her an aid. it was her decision to make as she got older, you both figured.
âAh!â She makes noise, nodding her head. He smiles- even if shes loud he loves to hear her so excited she uses her voice. He begins to play so she can feel the vibrations through the guitar.
Youâre across the room on the leather couch, reading. You can hear your daughterâs feet tapping along with one of Yoongiâsâ he was teaching her how to keep time before anything else.
âYou really think shes going to be able to play?â You inquire, happy just to observe.
âOh yeah, totally. Im going to color code the frets on this guitar. She can remember the chords visually,â he explains. âShes a quick learner- good job!â Yoongi praises, clapping his hands together. It makes your daughter jump up and down, excited.
âYou two are cute.â You compliment, sitting up.
Your daughter is motioning. Yoongi frowns slightly. âHuh? What- sorry, again,â he motions ârepeatâ to her.
âOh, you want one more songâŚ. Honey do you want to join her this time?â He offers. You cross the room to kneel next to him.
âa-ma,â your daughter says; you assume she means âmamaâ. She takes your wrist in both hands, trying to guide you to put it against the body of Yoongis guitar. You smile.
âWhat should I play her?â Yoongi asks, adjusting his strings.
âShe likes permission to dance,â you suggest, gently touching her shoulder before offering. She nods frantically, already stomping her feet.
Summary: He would give you everything if he could. He'd pluck the starts form the sky for you to hold just so he could see them dazzle your eye. You gave everything up, used your trust fund to build the life that you both have now, and got married in a courthouse instead of a chapel. Yoongi wishes he could give you more than what this life with him offers.
Genre: Established Relationship, slice of life, Fluff, very little angst.
Word Count: 7k
masterlist
Notes: A bit late, but happy birthday to the loml, the man, the legend, Min Yoongi. I almost didn't write this omg, I'm so busy with other projects and life (I got a part-time job!!) but I always make time for my pookie! I hope you have all been well!! p.s i proof read this like once T^T sorry for any mistakes in there <3
Yoongi lays awake in the dark, staring up at the ceiling with a heavy sleepiness that comes from sleeping for too long and still not getting enough rest. The weight of you curled against his side is a comfort, a warmth that makes him sigh into your hair as he shifts to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
The sun hasnât risen yet, but through the thin curtains he could see the very beginning of dawn. A pale light in the distance as the sun makes its sure ascent. Itâs far too early, but he knows your alarm would go off in a couple of minutes, and youâd drag your tired self up and out of bed and downstairs to prepare for the day.
Yoongi loves this life, and he loves you more than anything.
The air in the bedroom had a certain type of stillness, held in the suspended animation of the hour before dawn. Yoongiâs eyes tracked the slow crawl of shadows across the ceiling, his mind busy mapping the geometry of your lives, piece by piece, as he did every morning.
The weight of you, curled against his side, is the only thing keeping him tethered to the bed. Your breathing is soft, rhythmic, and entirely trusting. The kind of trust that makes his chest ache, a sharp, dull throb that heâd long since learned to live with. He adjusts his arm, his calloused palm lingering against the back of your head, his fingers tracing the curve of your hair. He thinks of the sprawling, estate youâd left behind, and then he looks at the thin, peeling wallpaper of the bedroom you both shared.
When youâd walked into his life, you hadnât been an heiress to him. You were just a girl with a tired smile and a heart that felt like it was breaking under the weight of expectations. And when youâd handed him that stack of savings, your fatherâs future for you, converted into a down payment on this rotting, charming, middle-of-nowhere wreck; heâd felt the crushing gravity of it. That was nearly three years ago now. Heâd stayed with you despite your fatherâs disapproval, and you'd hidden it for two years. When you were tired of your father trying to set you up with this young socialite elite and that, youâd left.
It wasnât a pretty sight; your mother had begged you to stay, crying and clutching her silk handkerchief that theyâd make it work with whatever you chose. Your father cursed Yoongiâs name to hell and back three times over; youâd packed what you could into a single suitcase, hopped into his mustang and never looked back.
Heâd spent months on his knees in the backroom, turning that derelict storage space into a mechanicâs shop, his hands raw from prying up rusted floorboards and wrestling with corroded pipes. Heâd done it because he was terrified. If he worked hard enough, if he fixed every leaky faucet and every grinding gear, maybe he could trick the universe into letting you stay here. Maybe he could make up for the fact that he was a nobody, a mechanic with nothing but a set of wrenches to his name, while you were the daughter of a man who could buy and sell the town you were currently hiding in.
He moves silently, untangling himself from the warmth of the sheets and you with the practiced grace of a man who didnât want to wake the only good thing that had ever happened to him.
Downstairs, the diner was a cavern of cooling air and the faint, lingering scent of last nightâs coffee. He moves through the darkness like a ghost, his boots making no sound on the worn linoleum. His gaze landed on the industrial-sized coffee maker, a temperamental piece of junk heâd spent three weekends re-wiring. It had a habit of clogging, a low-frequency hum that signaled it was about to give out.
Without thinking, he reached for the toolbox he always kept tucked beneath the counter, pulling out a screwdriver with his name etched into the handle in faded permanent marker. He kneels, the concrete floor cool against his shins, and went to work. He tightens a loose intake valve and flushes the draining system; his brow furrowed in concentration.
If he fixed this now, you wouldnât have to fiddle with it when you stumbled down at six. Youâd just hit the button, and the coffee would brew, and youâd have one less thing to worry about.
It was a small thing. An insignificant thing. But it was all he had to offer. Look, he thought, staring at the valve. Look at how hard Iâm trying to keep the world from breaking for you. He tightened the screw, his jaw set, his heart heavy with the secret fear that one day, the machinery of your lives would stop running, and youâd finally realize that he was just a man with a rag and a wrench, and youâd look for the exit. Heâd wake up and find the simple gold band of your wedding ring on the dresser and empty spaces where the pieces of you lived.
But for now, he just turns the valve, checks the pressure, and stands up, his knees popping in the quiet room. He wipes his hands on his jeans, leaving a fresh streak of dark oil against the denim, and listens to the silence of the house.
The coffee machine hisses a familiar, rhythmic protest that Yoongi has grown to recognize as clearly as his own heartbeat. Once the dark, rich scent begins to drift through the stagnant air of the diner, he wipes his hands on his trousers and turns to the tables.
He moves with a quiet, efficient grace, unstacking the heavy wooden chairs and setting them down with deliberate care. Thud. Thud. Thud. The sound echoes against the linoleum, marking the rhythm of his own internal monologue.
His gaze sweeps over the room, the faded checkerboard floor, the menu board heâd handwritten in chalk, the front door that still needs a bit of a shove to lock properly. To anyone else, it is a roadside relic that has seen better decades. To him, it is a museum of his own inadequacy.
Every time his hand brushes the back of a chair, he sees a phantom image of a different life. Not the one you both have, but the one he should have provided. He remembers the day you both stood in the sterile, fluorescent-lit office of a city courthouse. The smell of industrial floor wax, the bored clerk who didnât even look up from her crossword puzzle as she stamped the papers.
There was no white lace, no chapel bells, no sea of flowers that you deserved to walk through. Just the two of you, nervous and vibrating with the adrenaline of a getaway, signing your names on a document that tethered you to a man who, by every metric that mattered to your father, is a failure.
He grips the back of a chair, his knuckles turning white. He stole you from a world where you were a princess and brought you to a place where you have to wrestle with a stubborn espresso machine and wake up before the sun to pay the electricity bill. The sheer, suffocating weight of it hits him again; the guilt that is as much a part of his morning routine as the coffee is.
Yoongi would give you everything if he could. Heâd pluck the stars from the sky for you told hold just so he could see them dazzle your eye. You gave everything up, used your trust fund to build the life you both have now. Yoongi wishes he could give you much more than what this life with him offers.
He remembers the way you smiled at him in that courthouse, though. You were wearing a simple dress, your hair tucked behind your ears, and you didnât look at the lack of grandeur. You looked at him like he was the only thing in the world worth tethering yourself to.
He sets the final chair down with a sharp clack.
A courthouse wedding, he thinks, a bitter taste rising in his throat. You have never said it, never hinted at it, but he knows. He knows that for all your talk about being happy, you must have wondered, at least once, what it would have been like to have a day that belonged only to you. A day that wasnât paved with the jagged edges of a secret elopement.
He is the one who drove the car that carried you away from your fatherâs golden cage, but sometimes, in the quiet of the morning, he wonders if he is actually the one who built a different kind of prison; one made of grease, diner shifts, and the constant, aching fear that eventually, you will wake up and realize the fairytale wasnât supposed to end in a mechanicâs shop.
He stands there for a long moment, watching the horizon grow brighter, waiting for the sound of your footsteps on the stairs, terrified and relieved all at once to see you.
Yoongi jumps when your arms suddenly wrap around his waist. You press your cheek against his shoulder blade.
All his thoughts melt away, fading into the background of this moment where heâs tethered to you, and youâre tethered to the ground to keep him there. Yoongi turns in the circle of your arms, cupping your cheeks in his palms and bending his head to press a kiss to your lips.
You giggle against his mouth and Yoongi canât help his smile.
âGood morning, husband.â You murmur, smiling sleepily still, but smiling, nonetheless.
âGood morning, wife.â Yoongi smiles, swaying you both a little.
You squint at him in the pale morning light, the corners of your mouth tugging downwards, âYouâre thinking too much again.â
âI think just the right amount, thank you.â
You pull away from him with a soft laugh, and Yoongi follows you like heâs caught on a line as you round the counter. You push the single swinging door to the back kitchen, stopping to tie your hair back and put a hairnet on.
Yoongi helps you gather things for the morning breakfast rush. Itâs only after six, but seven-thirty would come soon enough. You work quietly for a moment; Yoongi sets out a crate of eggs and fresh seasonings and puts the bread you made last night on the warming rack. He grabs mugs for both of you and walks out to the front to fill them with coffee.
âI fixed the coffee machine again.â Yoongi says, coming back into the kitchen. He reaches over to stop you cracking another egg into a large silver bowl and presses one of the mugs into your hand. âIâll see about getting a new one next week.â
Itâs a little promise. Heâd rather you not have to struggle with things more than you have already. He watches as you set the metal whisk aside, and the way the overhead lights shine like little orbs in the reflection of your eyes, and his heart swells. Full of adoration and pain all at once, you take a sip of the coffee and then purse your lips at him.
âThereâs nothing wrong with that one.â you huff, looking at him as though heâd told you heâs gonna throw your favorite book out. The steam from your cup swirls upwards and disappears.
âThereâs a lot wrong with it, actually.â Yoongi snorts and puts up a hand, âDrainage is shit, it takes forever to heat up, and if you arenât careful, it heats up too much...â
He wags a finger at you, "I can go on."
âThatâs part of its charm.â You say defiantly, and then you shake your head, âItâs fine.â
Yoongi sighs, but heâs not in the mood to argue with you about it, so he resigns himself to bringing it up when youâre half-asleep tomorrow. Youâd agree with him then. You had a habit of holding onto old things... at least some things.
Yoongi takes time to chop up a bundle of chives and onions so you wouldnât have to, letting you tie his hair back and tuck a hairnet over his hair with a smile. You heat up the grill, spread oil along the flattop, and shimmy back over to the stainless-steel table to lean against it.
âWe donât have donuts today. Carterâs sick, so no sweet treats for anyone.â You heave the big bowl of whisked eggs over to the counter near the grill, âAre you busy today?â
âNo.â Yoongi hums, âNo clients today, so I'm all yours.â
Itâs been a year and a half of building this routine. You work the diner; Yoongi helps when he has free days, otherwise heâs buried under someoneâs hood. This life isnât anything grand, but he wouldnât trade it for anything, and he knows you wouldnât either. Despite his concerns.
The transition from the kitchen to the floor is a practiced dance. You wipe your hands on your apron, leaving a faint streak of white flour across the dark fabric, and head toward the swinging door. Yoongi watches you go, his eyes tracking the way you move before he turns his attention back to the grill. He needs to have the hash browns crisp and the eggs perfect before the doors open, so he settles into the rhythm of the kitchen.
He can hear you out in the dining area; the soft clink of glass as you arrange the sandwich showcase, and the register drawer being pulled open, and the hum of the old radio you both insist on leaving on. He doesnât need to see you to know exactly where you are.
A few minutes later, you pop your head back into the kitchen. âThe coffee is good,â you call out, checking the clock on the wall. âAnd the showcase is officially stocked. Are you almost ready back here?â
Yoongi flips a row of bacon with a flick of his wrist. âTwo minutes. I just need to get these hash browns plated.â
âPerfect,â you say. You grab a stack of menus from the counter and head back out to the floor, your voice trailing off as you start tidying the condiment bottles.
He loves this part of the day. He plates the breakfast specials for the warmer, ensuring every garnish is placed exactly how he knows you like it. When he pushes the service window open, he sees you already moving to the front door to flip the sign.
The day begins in earnest. Itâs a blur of orders and banter, the kind that doesnât require much thought because you have been doing it for so long.
When a customer orders a side of sourdough, you donât even have to look at the ticket; you just shout, âSourdough for table four!â before Yoongi has even finished plating the eggs. He has the bread toasted and on the pass before you have even finished pouring the customerâs water.
âYouâre fast today,â you murmur, passing him a stack of dirty dishes as you grab the next set of orders.
âYouâre just slow,â he teases, though he brushes his arm against yours as he takes the plates.
You roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. âIâm efficient. There is a difference.â
âWhatever you say.â
You both work in a seamless loop. When the rush hits, there is no need for instructions. He manages the heat and the timing, and you manage the flow of the room, handling the customers with a patience he knows he wouldnât have. He watches you weave through the tables, laughing at a joke from an old regular, and he feels that familiar, steady thrum of satisfaction.
By midday, the rush tapers off into a slow, steady trickle. Yoongi finally has a moment to step out of the kitchen, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. You are at the counter, counting the mid-shift drawer, looking focused and calm.
âHey,â he says, leaning against the doorframe.
You look up, your expression softening instantly. âHey. You want a drink?â
âJust water,â he says. He walks over, standing behind you while you finish the count. He rests his chin on your shoulder, feeling the warmth of you through your apron. âWe are doing okay today.â
âWe are doing great,â you correct, closing the register with a soft click. You turn around, tucking your arms around his waist. âAre you sure you didnât have any work to do today?â
âYes.â he laughs, his voice dropping. âIâm all yours until closing.â
You smile, and he knows that, even if the rest of the day is full of grease and long hours, as long as you are both in this building, everything is exactly where it needs to be.
By the time five rolls around, the customers have dwindled and the sun is starting to stretch itâs fingers along the gravel lot.
Yoongi is just reaching for the broom to sweep the front entrance when the crunch of tires on gravel breaks the silence.
It isnât a local truck. It is a sleek, black sedan; the kind of machine that looks like a shark cutting through the dusty haze of your quiet town. It rolls to a stop right in front of the garage bay.
Yoongi stops, his hand tightening on the broom handle. âI thought we were done for the day...â he mutters, more to himself than to you.
âMaybe they just need a quick look?â you say, stepping up beside him and wiping your palms on your apron.
âIâll go check.â He says, patting your hip and directing you out of his way.
Yoongi sets the broom aside and walks out to meet the car. He wipes his hands on a rag, his brow furrowing as the driverâs side door opens. A man in a sharp, charcoal suit steps out. He looks completely out of place, like a polished marble statue set down in a field of dry weeds. Yoongi eyes the man carefully, a sudden need for caution springs up in the back of his mind.
âWeâre closed,â Yoongi says, his tone level.
The man in the suit adjusts his cuffs, his eyes scanning the garage with a strange, clinical interest. âI apologize for the intrusion. Iâm just passing through, but the engine is making a sound. I was told this was the only shop for miles.â
Yoongi studies the sedan, then looks back at the man. âI can take a lookâŚâ
The man nods, his expression unreadable. âI only need a quick assessment.â
While Yoongi pops the hood and leans into the machinery, he catches the man glancing toward the diner. The man gestures toward the dark windows. âThe diner? Is it still serving?â
Yoongi doesnât look up from the engine block, though his grip on his wrench tightens. âWe just locked up. But if you really want something, I suppose I can get you a sandwich and a drink. Just donât expect a full menu.â
The man nods, his gaze lingering on the faded sign above the door. He remains silent while Yoongi works, his presence adding a strange, heavy tension to the quiet evening. It wasnât long until he found the issueâa simple intake faultâand fixes it. He closes the hood and walks over to collect payment. The man pays in cash, offers a curt, polite nod, and slides back into the driverâs seat.
As the sedan pulls away, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake, Yoongi stands in the middle of the lot. He watches the taillights disappear until they are nothing but tiny red specks in the distance. He stands out there for a long moment, a prickle of unease in his mind.
Shaking his head, he turns and walks back toward the diner, wiping his hands clean of engine grime with a rag. He pauses at the door, taking a deep breath of the cooling air, and pushes inside to find you. The diner is quiet, the lights dimmed, and the scent of floor cleaner is already starting to replace the smell of the dayâs grease. He catches your eye, and for a second, he considers mentioning the man in the suit. But then he sees you, hair a little wild, looking tired but content, and he stuffs the rag into his back pocket.
âEverything alright?â you ask, leaning against the counter as you finish wiping it down.
âJust a passerby,â Yoongi says, his voice steadying. âCar trouble. Itâs handled.â
He moves to your side, taking the cloth from your hand. He doesnât want to bring the outside world in here. He just wants to finish the cleaning, lock the doors, and be alone with you in the quiet that you both worked so hard to build.
Dinner is yesterdayâs lunch, and you both spend most of the time at the coffee table thatâs covered in invoices and bills and the sales book.
Youâre picking at your food, and had said you werenât feeling up to much eating so Yoongi didnât press you.
âWe gotta account for the new coffee machine.â He says, his voice breaking the heavy silence.
You glare at him over the rim of your juice cup, though there isnât much heat in it. Itâs a tired sort of defiance.
He looks over the frame of his glasses at you, with a raised.
âIf you bring that up one more time.â
âYouâre beating a dead horse, woman.â Yoongi shakes his head, sliding a pen behind his ear. âThingâs gonna give out one of these days, and then youâre gonna look at me and say âso about that coffee machineâŚââ
Your toes press into his side, a blunt protest under the knitted blanket. He bats your foot away with a short, huffed laugh, but the humor doesnât quite reach his eyes.
The night goes on without much fanfare. Once the totals are tallied and the bills are tucked into their respective folders, you curl against his side like a cat seeking heat. You doze off, your breathing shallow, leaving Yoongi left to his own devices in the dim lamp-light.
He thinks back to the man in the sedan, the way he looked at the diner like it was a curiosity under a microscope. Itâs probably nothing. He shouldnât dwell on it. Itâs not like he kidnapped you; he didnât force the pen into your hand at the courthouse. Though, he knows your father probably thinks differently. The memory of his face, frozen in a portrait of cold authority, swirled into a foreboding sense of doom at the back of his mind. He looks down at you, tucked securely under his arm, and sighs, forcing the thought into a locked box for another time.
An hour passes in a blur of heavy-lidded exhaustion. Yoongiâs eyes flutter open to the sensation of your soft thumb pressing firmly into the space between his eyebrows, trying to smooth out the tension he didnât know he was wearing.
âWhat are you doing?â he murmurs, his voice gravelly as he stares up at you. Thereâs a matching furrow between your own brows.
âYou looked troubled.â You say softly, your hand lingering. âWhatâs wrong?â
Yoongi hesitates. He looks at the room: the mismatched coasters, the rug thatâs fraying at the edges, the scent of old wood and grease that never quite leaves the air. The guilt he usually keeps at a low simmer suddenly boils over.
âI was just thinking,â he says, his voice barely a whisper. âAbout everything. You had a life where you never had to look at a bill. You had people to do that for you. And now⌠Iâve got you waking up at six to scrub a grill and worrying about a broken coffee machine in a town no one can find on a map. I feel like I took you away from everything you deserved, and I⌠I feel guilty, I guess.â
The distress comes off him in waves, thick and jagged. You donât say anything at first; you just shift, moving with a quiet deliberateness until you plop yourself right into his lap.
âDonât do that.â You say, cupping his cheeks in your hands. You smile at him, but itâs a watery thing, your eyes shimmering in the low light because you hate seeing him sink into himself like this. âIâm perfectly happy, Yoongi. I donât secretly hate you, and I havenât spent a single second wishing Iâd made a different choice.â
He grumbles something, a low protest that comes out smooshed between his pouted lips as you press his cheeks together.
âI love you. So much. And I love this life.â You continue, your voice gaining strength. âSure, I gotta wake up at six every day and you annoy me when you leave that dirty ass rag everywhere, but I wouldnât give it up. Not if someone offered me the whole world. I would never give you up. Iâm right where I want to be.â
Gently, you lean forward and kiss him. For a moment, the ghost of the man in the black sedan vanishes, and the heavy weight of the bills on the table feels as light as air.
He pulls you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck, and finally, the furrow between his brows disappears. You both decide that sleeping on the couch isnât the best idea and fumble your way to the bedroom.
The silence of the house is absolute until three in the morning, when the mattress shifts and the frantic, hollow sound of you retching in the bathroom breaks the peace. Yoongi is upright in a heartbeat.
He finds you slumped over the porcelain, your skin clammy and pale under the harsh vanity light. He holds your hair back with a steady hand, his other palm resting flat against your forehead. You arenât running a fever; your skin is cool, almost cold, and his worry settles into the low, manageable thrum of a suspected stomach bug.
He helps you back to bed, tucking the duvet around your shoulders and pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. He stays awake for a while, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest until his own exhaustion pulls him under.
At six, the sky is a thin, watery grey when he peeks through the window to squint at it. He looks at you, still dead to the world, and decides then and there that he wouldnât bother to open today. He isnât letting you scrub a grill or haul crates of eggs while youâre feeling like this, and the thought of crawling back under the covers for an extra hour or two is the only thing making the early morning tolerable.
He heads downstairs into the dim, quiet diner. Yawning, he scratches at his tummy, rummaging around under the counter for something to write on and the roll of tape he knows is around here somewhere. He grabs a piece of cardstock and a thick marker, scrawling a quick "Closed Today"Â on it.
Tearing a piece of tape off the roll with his teeth, heâs in the middle of sticking the piece of cardboard against the glass door when the crunch of gravel shatters the morning quiet.
The black sedan from yesterday rolls into the lot, its headlights cutting through the light morning mist before dying out. Yoongi stands frozen, the half-taped sign fluttering against the door. He stares through the glass as the passenger side opens.
The man who steps out is a ghost of the titan Yoongi remembers. In the year and a half since the elopement, your father has aged a decade. The sharp, predatory edge of his posture is gone, replaced by a heavy, stoic exhaustion that makes his expensive overcoat look too large for his frame. He looks like a man who has spent every one of those eighteen months being eroded by a quiet, persistent regret.
Yoongi meets his gaze through the glass, his heart hammering against his ribs, a measure of raw worry tightening his throat. He doesnât move to open the door until the older man raises a hand, a gesture that isnât a command, but a plea.
âI didnât come to cause any trouble,â your father says, his voice muffled by the glass but unmistakable in its defeat. âI only want to talk.â
A mug scrapes along the wood of a table, steaming and dark. Yoongiâs a bit miffed the coffee machine decided to be on its best behaviour this particular morning.
Your fatherâs eyes are elsewhere, looking at the tables and the floors, and the old-timey framed photos around.
He finally turns his gaze when Yoongiâs hand pulls away from the mug.
âBusiness is good, I hope?â He does sound rather hopeful, and Yoongi feels that hope bloom in his chest in equal measure. Hope that this would go quickly and your father could say what he came to say and leave.
âYes.â Yoongi says curtly, far too much he realises, but your father doesnât pay it mind. Yoongi had never disrespected this man. Even back then, heâd taken every harsh word spat at him and tucked it into his pockets and let them weigh him down. He let you handle it because you asked him not to give your father any more reasons. But as Yoongi sits here in front of him now, all the things he wanted to say back then bubbles up and dances on his tongue.
Your father stays quiet for a long moment, staring down into the coffee in front of him.
âWhat do you want?â
While itâs not exactly what Yoongi wanted to say, it would suffice to be the safest string of words in his head.
âIâŚâ he sighs, turning to look out the window, âI didnât come to make any trouble, or any demands.â
Yoongi stays quiet, giving him the moment he looked like he desperately needed to gather his thoughts.
âI wanted to apologize.â Your father says, and then, he looks away, somewhere to the side of Yoongiâs head. âI know Iâm the last person youâd want to see first thingâŚâ
Yoongi raises a brow, and then, leaning back into his chair he shakes his head, âIâm not the one you should apologize to.â
âI know. But you deserve one nonetheless.â He looks him right in the eyes now, the corners of his own eyes wrinkled by stress and time. âI practiced saying this so many times and now that Iâm hereâŚI donât know what to say first.â
He takes a deep breath, âBack then, I said some things about you, your character and your worth. I spoke to you like you were a thief stealing my daughter instead of the man she chose to love.â
He looks down at his hands, which are wrapped tightly around the warm ceramic. âI let her walk away thinking I hated her. I let my own pride convince me that if she didnât live the life I dictated, she didnât deserve a father at all...â
Yoongi doesnât offer a nod or a comforting word; he simply sits there, an immovable witness to the older manâs unraveling. He thinks of the nights he spent holding you while you cried in your sleep, and the way youâd flinch whenever a car that looked too much like your fatherâs drove past the diner.
Despite everything that was said and done that day, you loved your father and that never changed.
âIt took me a long, long time to come to terms with the fact that separating you both wouldâve done more harm than good.â He says this a little more to himself, his index finger scratching at a sticker a kid put on there weeks ago. âFunny thing about being a parentâŚyou raise a child one way and you plan their whole lives in your head because you want whatâs best for them. Some of us forget that theyâre people too.â
He sighs, and continues, âwe try to make them do what we want while forgetting they can think for themselves and the life you made might not be suited for them.
Iâm truly sorry, about back then. I only wanted what I thought was best for her, though, that isnât an excuse. I wouldnât blame you if you cursed me and told me to leave, itâs far less than I deserve.â
Itâs quiet for a long moment. Yoongi turned his head to stare out the window with a frown to gather his thoughts. Thereâs so much he wants to say back, the petty part of him is sticking out his tongue and saying, âWe made it anywayâ.
Looking at your father, whoâd gone back to staring at his coffee, his face so hopeful and he knows that if you were sitting next to him with the same measure of hope this would be much harder. For your sake alone, Yoongi sighs.
âHow did you find here?â He asks because he needs to know before anything else happens. He watches your fatherâs expression carefully.
âOh, my assistant was passing through here yesterday.â He says and then, âI realize how it may have looked. It was just a coincidence that he found you here, I promise.â
He doesnât seem to be lying, the earnest, hopefully expression remains.
âSheâs upstairs.â Yoongi says softly, âSheâs not feeling well today.â
âIt isnât serious, is it?â
Yoongi shakes his head, âjust a bug, I think.â
Your father relaxes a bit, and the tension slowly eases out of the room. The sun finally made itâs way up, indifferent to this morningâs happenings, it streaks golden and bright across the table tops and the faded checkered flooring. It makes the gray in your fatherâs hair and beard more prominent, but his eyes looks less troubled in the light.
âThank you.â He says, sounding like he was three seconds away from crying him a river, âThank you for taking care of her.â
âItâs all Iâve ever done.â Yoongi says evenly, and then takes a deep breath, âThank you... for apologizing.â
Your father nods, looking relieved and exhausted all at once.
Thereâs a sudden creak from the floorboards upstairs, and then, the sound of hurried footsteps and then youâre stumbling into the room.
âYoongi!â your voice cracks, breaking into a laugh that sounds a bit tearful, âIts not a bug! Iâm not sick.â
Youâre waving something white you clutch in your hand with a sort of frantic energy, looking like youâve been awake for all of ten minutesâhair a beautiful mess, still looking a little sick from last night, but smiling.
âIâmââ The brightness of your smile fades just a bit, as your eyes dart from Yoongi to your father sitting opposite him. It fades completely as you stand there in the threshold of the doorway. Youâre staring at your father but Yoongiâs heartâs in his throat and beating a samba staring at the little stick thatâs quite obviously a pregnancy test.
Yoongi is on his feet before he can even think, his chair screeching against the linoleum. His eyes dart from the pregnancy test in your hand to your fatherâs face, and then back again. He feels a dizzying, electric jolt through his veins; a realization that hits him with a force that sends his heart back to his chest where it should be. But the joy is immediately crowded out by the sight of you, frozen in place. You turn your gaze to him, staring with a swirl of emotions he canât decipher right now.
Your father stands up slowly, his movements stiff and uncertain. His eyes are locked on the small object in your hand, the implication of those two lines sinking into his expression like ink into water. He looks at you, not as the rebellious daughter who fled in the night, but as a woman, a wife, and now, a mother to be; youâre all trying to process the same things at once.
Yoongi had stepped into the kitchen, giving you enough room to speak to your father privately but also staying close enough should you need him. He left the swinging door propped open a couple inches, and could hear the murmur of conversation between you and your father.
Heâd busied himself with scrubbing a stray pot that really didnât need the extra attention, just to keep himself from combusting on the spot. The pregnancy test heâd taken from you lays on the steel prep table like a neon sign hot on the back of his neck. Heâd spent a good ten minutes just staring at the thing.
His heart is still hammering against his ribs like itâs trying to escape. A baby. The thought is so massive it feels like it might crack his chest wide open. He looks down at his hands, the faint scar across his knuckle from a slipped wrench that one time, and he feels a dizzying surge of protectiveness. He thinks of the drafty window in the bedroom and the way the heater groans in the winter. He needs to fix those. He needs to fix everything.
He hears a choked, wet sob from the booth, and his muscles coil, his grip tightening on the sponge. He almost drops it to go to you, to pull you back into the safety of his arms, but then he hears your fatherâs voice: soft, broken, and devoid of the steel that used to define it.
Yoongi exhales slowly, forcing his shoulders to drop. He stays where he is. Through the gap in the door, he watches the silhouette of your head dip as you wipe your eyes.
Youâve been crying for the better part of five minutes, the kind of tears that have been bottled up for a year and a half. But then, he sees the shift; your shoulders relax, and a small, watery smile breaks across your face. The kind of smile you only wear when a weight has been lifted.
After about twenty minutes of him finding things to do in the kitchen, which was really nothing more than him just standing around and staring at the florescent lights.
He hears the chair drag along the floor, and your father stands to pull you into a hug. A signal that the heaviest part of the conversation was over, and he walks back through the door.
The diner feels smaller, more intimate than it did an hour ago. The morning light has fully claimed the room, warming the vinyl of the booths and turning the old coffee stains on the floor into amber-colored spots.
Your father is already standing, smoothing the front of his coat. He looks smaller, his shoulders rounded in a way that suggests heâs finally putting down the burden heâs been carrying. When he sees Yoongi, he doesnât look away, but there is a hesitancy in his posture that wasnât there before.
Youâre standing beside him, still clutching that small, plastic stick like itâs a lifeline, your face flushed and damp from crying. You look toward Yoongi, and your eyes soften with a relief that makes the air in his lungs feel lighter.
âI shouldnât keep you,â your father says, his voice quiet. He gestures vaguely at your midsection. âThis is⌠this is a day for you two.â
He shifts his weight, his gaze dropping to the floor before coming back to rest on Yoongi. âIf youâd allow it,â he starts, then stops, searching for the words. âI would like to be involved. In your lives. In the life of my grandchild. And, Yoongi, I would like to get to know you better. I know I have no right to ask that of you, not after everything, but I would like to try.â
Yoongi stands there, his hands shoved deep into his pockets to hide the slight tremor in his fingers. He looks at you, and youâre nodding, a fresh tear tracking through the faint flush on your cheek. He looks back at your father, seeing the genuine, raw uncertainty in the manâs eyes.
âI think I can do that.â Yoongi says, his voice steady.
Your father lets out a shaky, relieved breath. He reaches out, and for a moment, he looks like he might hesitate, but then he pulls you into one last, lingering hug. You bury your face in his coat, your shoulders shaking with a few final soft sobs.
âIâll bring your mother,â your father promises, his voice muffled against your hair. âNext time. Iâll bring her.â
He pulls away, gives Yoongi a curt, respectful nod, and heads for the door. The bell above the entrance jingles a bright, cheerful sound that punctuates the silence as he steps out into the morning.
Yoongi walks over to you, the distance between you vanishing in two steps. He reaches out, carefully pulling you against him. You lean into his chest, your hands bunching up his tee-shirt, and he rests his chin on top of your head.
The diner is perfectly still. The coffee machine is finally silent, the morning rush is a world away, and the heavy, suffocating anxiety that had been dogging Yoongiâs footsteps for eighteen months is finally gone. He holds you tighter, feeling the solid, living warmth of you against him.
âYou okay?â he murmurs into your hair.
You look up at him, your smile bright and shaky, and you nod. âIâm perfect.â
Yoongi leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, and then he looks out the window at the empty gravel lot. The sun is high, and the day is wide open. He takes your hand, interlacing his calloused fingers with yours, and leads you away from the tables, ready to start this new, quiet life that started on a shotgun dream.
This life may not be anything grand; you both struggle and have to pay bills like everybody else, but itâs something Yoongi would never give up.
pairing: yoongi x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 9k | warnings: here
genre: dystopian, timelines, psychological, starcrossed+fated mates
"inadvisable things"
"He put the gloves back on this morning like you wouldn't notice. Like you wouldn't call it a control mechanism to his face. Like seventeen timelines of him keeping lavender under his pillow for you specifically wouldn't make your knees do something structurally catastrophic."
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âŞď¸author's note :
"People bear the weight of loss differently."
I wrote that sentence at some ungodly hour and sat with it for longer than I'd like to admit. It arrived wholeâthe kind of sentence that had clearly been waiting to be written. And it felt right to start this chapter there: with grief as the opening note, quiet and personal, before everything else that follows. There's a lot of everything else in this one.
Fifteen chapters. Fifteen chapters of two people who argue as a form of intimacy, who weaponize vocabulary against each other with the precision of people who know exactly where to aim. I've been building this dynamic (the intellectual antagonizing, the loaded professional distance) since chapter one, and where it finally lands in this chapter broke my brain in the best possible way. If you've been here from the beginning, you'll feel the payoff when you get to it. Their chemistry is the kind I dreamed of writing when I was sixteen reading my first fic, and somehow, fifteen chapters later, it's only gotten messier.
Also. The smut. We need to talk about the smut. I will say nothing except: Mr. Control is not in control, 'pretty girlâ has taken up permanent residence in my head rent free and I wrote it, so that tells you everything you need to know about my current mental state. I am going to need you to be sitting down when you get to the part where he fumbles with the wallet, and that is the last thing I will say on that subject. (o'â˝'o)
Okay. Personal segment, because my author's notes have never been particularly dignified and I'm not starting now. I debated whether to include this, but pretending feels wrong when you've been here with me this longâtoday was not a good day. I found out this morning that I have a non-negotiable appointment on the exact same day and time as the BTS concert I've been waiting ten years to attend. Soundcheck tickets. Ten years. I've... cried. I had two panic attacks. I am sitting with a very specific kind of grief that I wasn't expecting to process today; which is, I realize, darkly on-theme for a chapter that opens on exactly that subject. The universe has jokes. I genuinely do not find them funny. I'm looking into alternatives. I don't have answers yet. I just needed to be honest with you, because this little corner of the internet has always felt safe, and typing 'I'm fine, here's the chapter' felt like a lie I didn't have the energy for today. I am not going to dress up as something more dignified than what it is, because it would be a lie and you deserve better than that from me.
So: I'm not okay today. But I wanted to get this chapter out anyway, because writing this story is genuinely one of the things that holds me together, and youâyou, reading this right now, having made it fifteen chapters inâare a massive part of why I keep going. So if you have any warmth in your comments today, I will accept it with only minimal deflection. I'm making no promises, but I'll try.
Go enjoy the chapter. Be kind to yourselves out there.Â
And if anyone figures out how to reroute destiny, I am taking applications.Â
âKiki
People bear the weight of loss differently, and the variations are never random.
You learned this at eight years old when Galia Vatne told you at recess that her pet had died, delivered with a shrug that suggested the dog's age and weakness made the death mathematically inevitable.
You learned it again when you saw Robin from the Temporal Analysis Department freeze mid-sentence in the garden CHRONOS had rewritten as the 'Garden of Stability' for this timelineâbecause you'd mentioned a temporal anomaly and his face had gone slack, setting the moment his reality fractured.
You learned it watching Hoseok this morning, when you passed his door and heard the silence that wasn't silence at all, but the specific frequency of grief that comes from losing a piece of your own consciousness.
Ruckus was more than a construct; he was a neural extension, a manifested fragment of Hoseok's psyche given form and autonomy.
Losing him was an amputation. The phantom pain must be excruciating.
Hence, Jimin staying in bed with him was logical.
Hence, Jimin not being your instructor today was predictable.
Hence, you standing outside the training room door at 09:38âeight minutes later than your scheduled sessionâwas a simple matter of cause and effect, not a deliberate act of defiance.
You were not looking forward to this training session anyway.
Jimin's particular brand of instruction has a way of making you feel intellectually deficient for asking questions he deems obvious, his tone carrying that specific inflection that suggests you are being deductively 'cunty'âa concept you do not find particularly compellingârather than genuinely curious.
This is obvious from the way he uses the term when talking about youâclearly meant as an insult and not a compliment.
But you were looking forward to observing his powers.
Short-term premonitionâthirty-second glimpses into immediate futures, according to himâis a fascinating manifestation of temporal manipulation that defies easy categorization.
Thus, you wanted to analyze the mechanism, map the neural pathways, quantify the energy expenditure. You wanted to understand how his brain processed multiple probability streams simultaneously without cognitive collapse.
Now you'll have to wait.
You push open the door.
The training room is dim, lit only by the ambient glow of the holographic displays lining the walls. The center of the space is clear, mats arranged in a precise grid pattern that suggests intentional structuring rather than comfort. The air is colder than the corridor outsideâchilled, you presume, to keep students alert.
You are, however, not alone.
"You are late."
The voice is raspy, pitched low, and you don't need visual confirmation to know whose presence has altered the room's atmospheric pressure.
Your heart rate accelerates anywayâ142 bpm, up from 87.
Agent Min.
He's standing near the far wall, back turned, examining something on a display, wearing a simple grey long-sleeve that shows the line of his shoulders, the tension in his spine. His hair is damp, like he showered recently.
You catalog the observation: post-workout recovery, or possibly just an attempt to wash away the previous night.
"What are youâ"
"Jimin is indisposed." He cuts you off without turning. "I'll be instructing you today."
Yoongi turns then, his movement economical. His eyes sweep over you without making contact, settling somewhere in the middle distance above your left shoulder.
"On the center of the room, A-735."
The use of your designation instead of your name is a reset of professional distance. A re-establishment of hierarchy after last night's emotional detonation.
You don't move.
"I didn't know someone was waiting for me," you say, and your voice comes out flatter than you intended. "I thought I'd be training alone since Jimin is notâ"
"You thought incorrectly," he interrupts, clipped and final.
He walks toward the center of the room, and your skin prickles with static electricity that has nothing to do with Kairos manifestation.
Yesterday, he held your hand for fourteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
Yesterday, he screamed at you in front of multiple witnesses.
Yesterday, he admitted he doesn't care about the mission when you are the variable at risk.
Today, he's pretending none of it happened.
"You are developing moderate proficiency with spatial manipulation," he says, voice returning to its detached baseline. "But your control is imprecise. Your energy expenditure is excessive. You rely on instincts rather than actual intention."
He stops in the center of the mats, eyes finding yoursâexpression set in the neutral mask you've learned to recognize as extreme emotional suppression.
"Today we fix that."
You walk to the center, maintaining the distance he's establishedâapproximately two meters. Close enough for instruction, far enough to avoid accidental contact.
"I'm not imprecise," you say, and the words come out more defensive than you anticipated. "I transported twelve people across 4.7 kilometers through a reality-anchor-dense sector. That requires precision."
"It requires luck."
"It requires calculation."
"It requires me stabilizing your signature so you didn't scatter yourself across a thousand probability streams." His voice sharpens, just enough to show the anger underneath. "You don't even know what you did wrong because you can't perceive the variables you miscalculated."
"Then explain them."
"Trust me, I intend to."
He gestures to the mat in front of him.
"So. Stand there. Eyes closed. Hands at your sides. And no Kairos."
"That's counterproductive. How am I supposed toâ"
"By listening to me instead of arguing for once."
Something stirs in your chest.
You want to point out that your analytical approach is what saved those Outliers, that your calculations were optimal given the constraints, that his emotional response is clouding his tactical judgment.
But you step onto the mat.
You close your eyes.
You place your hands at your sides.
The room goes dark behind your lids, but not silent. You can hear his breathingâslightly elevated, controlled but not calm. You can hear the faint noise the holographic displays emit. You can hear the distant sounds of the base continuing its operations despite the emotional earthquake that happened less than twenty-four hours ago.
"Now," his voice says from directly in front of you, closer than he was before, "I want you to feelthe space around you. Not with Kairos. With your actual senses."
"I can'tâ"
"You can."
His presence is a heat source at approximately 1.2 meters. You can feel the displacement of air where his body occupies space. You can sense the precise location of his torso, his shoulders, the angle of his head.
"Tell me where I am," he says.
"Directly in front of me. 1.2 meters. Facing me."
"How do you know?"
"Air displacement. Thermal gradient. Auditory input from your voice."
"All logical deductions." There's something in his toneâgrudging approval, maybe, or simple acknowledgement that you're not completely incompetent. "Now tell me what's behind me."
You pause.
Without opening your eyes, without Kairos, you have no way to perceive the wall that should be ten meters behind him.
"I can'tâ"
"You can. Stop thinking like a temporal analyst and start thinking like a spatial manipulator. Space isn't just coordinates. It's relationship. It's context. It's the absence of things as much as the presence."
His voice moves. Not awayâaround. Circling you at a distance of approximately 1.5 meters, maintaining the radius with mathematical precision.
"Where am I now?"
"To my left. 1.5 meters."
"How do you know?"
"Your voice. The way the sound waves reflect off the walls."
"Reflection patterns change based on my position relative to the room's geometry. You're calculating that in real-time."
"It's how hearing works."
"No. It's how your hearing works. Normal humans don't parse spatial geometry from auditory data. They just hear direction. You're hearing location."
He stops moving. The heat source settles directly behind you now, at approximately 0.8 meters.
"Now," he says, and his voice is lower, closer to your ear than you expected, "tell me what I'm about to do."
You freeze.
Your analytical mind races through probability matrices.
He could touch you. He could step away. He could manifest Kairos. He couldâ
His hand brushes your shoulder.
Not a touch. Just the whisper of fabric against fabric as his sleeve passes within millimeters of your skin.
You flinch. Involuntary. Your entire nervous system sparks with static electricity from the proximity.
"Too slow," he murmurs, and there's something in his tone that isn't professional anymore, that sounds like the edge of a cliff you're both standing on. "You're still reacting. Still thinking. Still calculating."
His hand moves again. This time you sense itâa displacement of air, a shift in the thermal gradient, the subtle change in pressure as his palm approaches the back of your neck.
You step forward, away from the contact, eyes snapping open.
Yoongi is standing exactly where you calculatedâ0.8 meters behind you, hand extended, expression unreadable.
The distance you created is precisely 1.2 meters now.
"Better," he says, and his voice is clinical again, the edge gone as if you imagined it. "But still too slow. You should have sensed my intention before I moved."
"I can't read minds."
"You don't have to. Intention changes spatial relationships before action occurs. The body telegraphs. The air compresses. The thermal signature shifts. You just have to learn to feel it."
He walks back to the center of the mat, putting distance between you again. Professional distance. The kind that maintains boundaries.
"Again," he says. "Eyes closed. This time, don't react. Anticipate."
You close your eyes.
The static hums in your blood, a frequency that matches his heartbeat.
The second round goes worse than the first.
He moves faster now, circling you as if testing the perimeter of his territory.
Every time you anticipate correctly, he adjusts. Every time you react in time, he increases the difficulty. Every time you manage to dodge his approach, he finds a new angle that exposes your blind spots.
You're learning nothing.
You're being managed.
"Your left side is still weak," he says, voice flat. "You're over-relying on auditory input instead of spatial awareness."
"My auditory input is accurate."
"Accurate isn't sufficient. Accurate gets you killed when your opponent knows to approach from the direction that minimizes sound reflection."
You open your eyes, frustration bleeding through.
"Then demonstrate the correct technique instead of simply cataloguing my failures."
"I am demonstrating." He stops moving, settling into a position approximately 1.8 meters in front of you. "You're just not observing correctly."
"I'm observing your position, your movement patterns, yourâ"
"You're observing data." The interruption is sharp enough to cut. "You're not perceiving space. There's a difference."
"Explain the difference."
"I just did. You weren't listening."
Your jaw tightens.
He's doing this deliberately, answering in a way that closes the door before you can step through it, constructing responses to make you feel like you're asking the wrong questions.
This is not instruction.
This is punishment.
Your gaze drops to his hands.
And it is then, that you realize.
The gloves are back.
Black leather, tight fit, covering every millimeter of skin from wrist to fingertip. The same barrier he wore before the mission, before he removed one to hold your hand through the corridors, before he clasped both around yours while you tore a hole in space.
You stare at them for 2.3 seconds too long.
"What?" His voice carries an edge.
"You're wearing the gloves again."
"Observation noted."
"It's counterproductive."
His eyebrow archesâa micro-expression of challenge.
"Is it."
"The cellular transfer has already been initiated. Skin contact occurred during the extraction mission. Wearing gloves now doesn't reverse the biochemical cascadeâit merely delays the next exposure while allowing the dependency to compound."
"I'm aware of the mechanism."
"Then you're aware that avoidance is mathematically suboptimal."
"I'm aware," he repeats, and something in his tone becomes acerbic, "that my choices regarding physical contact are notsubject to your tactical review."
"They are when they affect mission readiness."
"This isn't a mission." He takes a step closer, closing the distance. "This is training. And in training, the instructor's methodology is not up for debate."
You hold your ground.
"The methodology is flawed if the instructor is making decisions based on emotional variables rather than tactical ones."
"Emotional variables." He repeats the phrase like it tastes bitter. "Is that what you think this is?"
"The gloves serve no practical purpose given our current biochemical status. The only logical explanation for their presence is psychologicalâa symbolic barrier intended to communicate distance despite the physical irrelevance of the gesture."
His jaw tightens. You can see the muscle jump beneath the skin.
"You're deflecting from the actual lesson."
"You're deflecting from the actual issue."
"The issueâ" His voice rises fractionally before he catches himself, forces it back down. "âis that you can't perceive spatial relationships without visual input. The gloves are irrelevant."
"The gloves are a control mechanism."
Silence.
His eyes narrow.
"Excuse me?"
"You're using them to establish authority." You keep your voice level, analytical, even as the words land accusingly. "The same way you're using this training session to reassert dominance after last night's confrontation. The methodology isn't pedagogicalâit's psychological. You're not teaching me to perceive space. You're teaching me to submit."
The temperature in the room drops three degrees.
Or maybe that's just him.
"That's quite an analysis," he scoffs, and his voice drops. "From someone who doesn't understand basic spatial perception."
"I understand enough to recognize avoidance behavior when I see it."
"You understand nothing." He takes another step closer. 0.5 meters now. "You think because Jin explained the cellular mechanism, you comprehend the full scope of what's happening? You think knowing about the addiction means you understand its implications?"
"I understand that wearing gloves after we've already established skin contact is the equivalent of closing a door after the fire has already spread through the house."
"Maybe I'm containing the damage."
"Maybe you're pretending you have control over something you don't."
His hand comes upâstill gloved, still maintaining the barrierâand for a moment you think he's going to touch you anyway, contradiction be damned.
He doesn't.
His hand hovers in the space between you, fingers slightly curled, and the gesture reads as both threat and restraint.
"You want to talk about control?" His voice is low, rough. "Fine. Let's talk about control. Let's talk about how you made a unilateral decision last night that could have killed you. Let's talk about how you forced my participation by threatening to act with or without my stabilization. Let's talk about how you used myâ"
He stops. Swallows.
"âmy investment in your survival as a tactical lever."
"It worked, did it not?"
"That's not the point."
"Then what is the point?" You step forward, closing the distance he's been so careful to maintain. 0.3 meters. "You're angry about something you can't articulate, so you're channeling it into authority games and symbolic barriers that serve no practical purpose."
"You think the gloves are symbolic?"
"I think you're being a child."
Three seconds of silence.
The kind of silence that has mass.
"A child." He repeats it slowly, each syllable weighted. "You think I'm being a child."
"Yes." You don't back down. "That is what I said, I believe. I'm glad your hearing is intact."
His expression doesn't change, but something behind his eyes goes very, very still.
"You're upset about last night. You're upset that I made a choice you couldn't control. So you're reasserting control in the only arena currently available to youâthis training session. The gloves are part of that reassertion. A visual reminder that you can choose to withhold something Iâ"
You stop.
The word you almost said hangs between you, unspoken but present.
Want.
His handâstill hovering in the space between youâtrembles almost imperceptibly.
But his lips?
His lips twitch.
"Something you what, Noma?"
You don't answer.
"No, please." There's a smile in his voice now. "Finish that thought. Something you what? Need? Crave? Can't stop thinking about even though you don't remember why your body responds to mine like it's coming home?"
Heat floods your chest. Your neck. Your face.
"I was going to say require. For stabilization purposes."
"Liar."
The accusation is soft. Almost gentle.
And completely accurate.
You hold his gaze anyway.
"The gloves are unnecessary."
"The gloves are mine." His hand finally drops. "My choice. My body. My decision about what barriers I maintain and when."
"And yet you removed one yesterday. In the facility. Without my asking."
"That wasâ" He stops. His throat works. "That was different."
"How?"
"Because Iâ" Another stop. Another swallow. "Because you neededâ"
"Because you needed," you correct quietly. "Your hand found mine before I showed any signs of temporal distress. You removed the glove because you wanted contact. Not because I required stabilization."
The truth of it sits between you.
His breathing has changed. Faster. Shallower. The kind of respiratory pattern that indicates elevated stress response.
Or something else entirely.
"You want the fucking gloves gone?" The words come out rough, almost torn. "Fine."
He yanks at the leather. First the right handâsharp, aggressive tugs that bare pale skin and prominent veins. Then the leftâsame violence, same barely-contained fury.
The gloves hit the mat and then? his hands are bare.
Exposed.
The same hands that held yours through a teleportation that should have shattered you.
The same hands that cradled your joined fingers like something precious while he poured his own stability into your fracturing signature.
"Gloves are fucking gone." His voice shakes. "Now what, Noma?"
Your knees threaten to buckle.
It's a physiological response you don't anticipateâthe sudden weakness in your quadriceps, the micro-tremor that runs through your stabilizing muscles, the way your center of gravity shifts 0.3 centimeters backward as if your body is trying to create distance your mind refuses to allow.
His hands.
Pale. Long-fingered. Blue veins running from knuckle to wrist like a map of something you want to trace with your tongue.
You want them around your throat. You want those fingers wrapped around the column of your neck, pressing just hard enough to feel your pulse hammer against his palm.
His breathing changes. Subtle, but you catch itâa slight hitch, a fractional increase in respiratory rate.
You lift your hand, and watch his eyes track the motion, watch the way his jaw tightens as your fingers approach his.
He doesn't pull away.
But he doesn't move toward you either.
Stalemate.
Your fingertips make contact with his palmâthe kind of contact that could be accidental, incidental, meaningless.
It's none of those things.
His hand twitches. The muscle beneath his thumb spasms once before he controls it. You can see the effort it costs himâthe way his shoulders lock, the way his breath goes deliberately even.
"Interesting."
Your finger traces a slow line across his palm. Following the deep crease that runs from index finger to wrist.
"What is," he manages, and his voiceâ
God, his voice is frayed.
"Your commitment to maintaining composure." Your touch drifts to his wrist, finding the ridge of bone, the thin skin over his pulse point. "Given the circumstances."
"The circumstances being?"
"You told me once that semantic sparring between us constitutes foreplay."
Your finger traces a pattern on his inner wristâand then you feel it. A slight raised edge.
Ink beneath skin.
"I'm curious whether you still believe that assessment was accurate."
You look down.
There, on the inside of his wrist, barely visible against his pale skin: an infinity symbol. Small, elegant, positioned exactly where a watch strap would hide it.
Your finger traces the loop. Once. Twice.
Something flickers across his expressionânot quite pain, not quite pleasure. Something older than both.
"You have a tattoo," you observe.
"I have several."
"This one is interesting." You complete another circuit of the symbol. "Infinity. Endless recurrence. Rather on-the-nose for a Time Anchor, don't you think?"
"It predates my temporal abilities."
"Does it predate me?"
His jaw locks in response to the question, to the implication, to the centuries of history embedded in that small piece of ink.
A bead of sweat forms at his temple.
"You're sweating, Agent Min."
"Observant."
"You're also vibrating."
"Nomaâ"
"And yet you're still pretending this is about training protocols and professional distance."
"It is aboutâ"
"It's about control."
His breath catches. Actually catches, like you've reached into his chest and squeezed.
"You put the gloves on because you felt threatened by what happened yesterday. By what you admitted."
The word threatened lands precisely where you aimed it.
His nostrils flare.
"A good leader shouldn't need barriers against a subordinate."
"A good leader," he says, dangerously soft, "knows when to put a subordinate in their place."
"Is that what you want to do, Agent Min?" You hum. "Put me in my place?"
"You have no idea." His breathing is ragged now. "What I want to do right now."
"I might be able to conjecture."
"Conjecture." He repeats the word like it's obscene. "Go ahead, then. What's your hypothesis?"
"That you want to have me." You don't blink. "Right now. Right here."
His hand moves. Not away. Toward. Fingers wrapping around your wristâbare skin on bare skin, contact point igniting like a lit fuse.
"Have you?" The words come out fractured, rough. "You think I want to have you?"
For the first time in this interaction, you swallow, off balance.
Did you guess incorrectly?
No, but he'sâ
"Am I wrong?" your voice wavers.
His expression cracksâshatters.
"Noma." His grip on your wrist tightens, pulling you fractionally closer. "I don't want to have you."
His other hand comes up, fingers threading into your hair, tilting your head back.
"I want to fuck you like an animal."
The kiss isn't gentle, it's a collisionâhis mouth crashing into yours with seventeen timelines of accumulated desperation behind it. His hand fists in your hair, angles your head where he wants it, and his tongue slides past your lips with the confidence of someone who knows exactly how you taste.
Because he does.
He remembers.
Your back hits the training room wall. You don't recall moving, but suddenly there's solid surface behind you and solid muscle in front of you and his thigh is pressing between yours and his mouth is consuming you.
Arousal spirals upward, each sensation amplifying the next, until you can't tell where your desperation ends and his begins.
Your fingers find his hair, mint strands sliding between your knuckles, softer than they look, and you grip them like you're drowning and he's the only thing keeping you above water.
Maybe he is.
His mouth is relentless, fueled by a hunger that feels older than this moment, older than this timeline.
You can't categorize it, can't file it into neat compartments.
All you know is you need more.
You open your mouth against his. He responds instantly, lips parting, and you give him the kind of kiss that your body somehow knows he likesâwet and open and searching. Tongue sliding against his lower lip before finding his.
His breath hitches.
Tell.
You file that away even as your higher cognitive functions start shorting out.
The hitch means he likes it. The hitch means keep going.
So you do.
His tongue pushes into your mouth and you make a soundâsomething between a gasp and a moan that you don't consciously authorize. It just happens, pulled from somewhere deep in your chest by the slide of him against you.
He likes that too, you feel it in the way his grip tightens, the way his hips press harder against yours, the way his hand moves from your hair to cradle your jaw. The angle shiftsâhis palm warm against your cheek, fingers curving around the hinge of your jaw, tilting your head exactly where he wants it.
Better access.
His tongue works against yours in a way you presume he's explored a thousand times before.
"Mhmâ"
The sound vibrates against your lips.
You chase it, tongue finding his again, and you can'tâyou can't explain why you need this. Can't articulate the compulsion that makes you press closer, grip harder, breathe him in like oxygen.
He tastes like something familiar. Something necessary.
He tastes like mint.
"Up."
The word comes out rasped between kisses. Barely intelligible.
You blink your eyes open, vision hazy, brain struggling to parse language when all your processing power is dedicated to sensation.
His eyes are still closed. He leans back in, mouth finding yours again, softer this time but no less hungry.
"Your legs," he manages against your lips. Kiss. "Up." Another kiss, open-mouthed, his tongue sliding against yours for a brief, devastating second. "Aroundâ"
He breaks off to kiss you properly. Deep and thorough and claiming.
"âmy hips, C'mon, pretty girl."
The term of endearment exacerbates the warmth spreading through your chest.
You separateâjust far enough to look at him, to process the words, to feel the sensations coursing through your veins.
Pretty girl.
He watches your mouth with dark eyesâsmoky, pupils blown so wide his irises are nonexistent.
Then he's leaning in again, and this time he doesn't kiss youâhe licks. Tongue tracing the seam of your lips slowly, tasting the shape of them.
His forearm slides beneath your thigh.
You don't remember deciding to move, but suddenly you're being lifted, your legs wrapping around his waist, your back pressed against the wall, and he's between your thighs with an ease that suggests he's done this before.
He has. You know he has.
Your body remembers even when your mind doesn't.
"That's so muchâ"
He kisses you. Brief, biting.
"âmhmâ"
His tongue slides against yours again and the sound you make is completely outside your control.
"âbetter."
His hips are flush against yours now, his weight pinning you to the wall, and you can feelâ
You can feel him.
Hard. Unmistakable. Pressing against your center with a pressure that makes your thighs tighten involuntarily around his waist.
He groans into your mouth while his hand finds your hair again, tilting your head back, and his mouth leaves yours to trace down your jaw.
Hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck. The scrape of teeth against your pulse point.
You're shaking.
You don't know when that started.
"Yoongiâ"
His name comes out broken. He hums against your throat, lips vibrating against sensitive skin.
"I know." His voice trembles. "I know, I knowâ"
Before you can protest the loss of his mouth on yours he's nuzzling against your throat. Nose pressing into the curve where your neck meets your shoulder, inhaling deeply.
A shudder runs through his entire frame.
"Fuck," he breathes against your skin. "You smell soâ"
He doesn't finish the sentence. Just inhales again, deeper this time, like he's trying to pull your scent into his lungs and keep it there.
The heat between your legs flares brighter.
"I keep lavender under my pillow."
The confession comes out mumbled against your throat. Half-formed. Like he's not entirely conscious of saying it.
"What?"
"Lavender." His lips brush your pulse point as he speaks. "Little bag of it. Under my pillow. It'sâ" He exhales, ragged. "It's the only fucking thing that lets me sleep at night."
Your chest constricts.
"It smells like you," he whispers. "Every timeline. You always smell like lavender."
You don't fully understand the significance, but you feel itâthe weight of what he's admitting.
Centuries of sleepless nights. Centuries of reaching for something that reminds him of someonewho doesn't rememberhim.
The hand that was gripping your thigh starts driftingâsliding from the outside curve toward the back, fingers spreading across the swell of your ass while his other hand skims up your belly.
The touch is light, almost reverent, tracing the line of your ribs through the fabric of your shirt. Higher. Slower.
He stops at your cleavage.
His chin lifts from your shoulder, settling against your chest instead. The angle forces him to look up at youâgaze all hazy, and expression somewhere between desperate and destroyed.
"Can Iâ" His voice cracks. He swallows, tries again. "Can I unbutton your shirt?"
The question is so unexpectedly polite that it takes you a moment to process.
He's asking.
After everythingâafter pinning you to a wall, after kissing you like he wanted to consume you, after confessing things that span centuriesâhe's asking.
You nod and his whole body shudders. A full-body reaction, like your permission has ensbled something fundamental in his nervous system.
His fingers find the first button.
Pop.
Your shirt falls open an inch.
Pop.
He's not looking at his hands. He's looking at youâwatching your face, tracking your breathing as more skin becomes visible.
Pop.
The last button gives way.
Your shirt falls open, the fabric parting to reveal the turquoise bra beneath. Not particularly sexy, but the way he's staring at it, you might as well be wrapped in silk and lace.
"Christ," he exhales.
He lets your weight rest against the wall, freeing both hands. They come up your sides slowly, reverently, and cup your breasts, the heat of his palms searing through the fabric.
You make a soundâsomething between a gasp and a whimperâand his eyes flutter closed for a moment, savoring.
"I know," he murmurs, seemingly at a loss for words. "I know, I've got youâ"
His thumbs brush across your nipple, and even though it is a touch above the bra, the sensation makes you arch into his touch.
You cannot prevent your hips from rolling against his involuntarily, seeking friction. Nor can he, the way he groans low in his throat in response.
His fingers hook under the edge of the cups, and slowlyâagonizingly slowlyâhe pulls the fabric down.
Your breasts spill free and his hands fly right there, cupping the bare flesh.
"Fuck." The curse comes out wrecked. Broken.
You note how his gaze admires the way your breasts overflow his palms, the way your nipples have already peaked from the cold and the arousal, the way your chest heaves with each stuttered breath.
His thumbs trace slow circles around your nipples without quite touching them.
Teasing.
"Yoongiâ"
"I know." His voice is barely recognizable. "I know what you need."
He looks up at you.
There's a question in his expressionâa hesitation that furrows the space between his brows. Like he's asking permission for something he's done a thousand times before. Like he needs to be sure you want this even though your body is already screaming the answer.
You don't nod.
You don't have to.
Something in your expression must give him what he needs, because the hesitation dissolves. His eyes go half-lidded, hazy with want, and he gives up on coherent thought entirely.
His mouth finds your nipple.
The sensationâ
You can't categorize it.
Your analytical mind tries. It reaches for parameters, for comparison points, for some framework that would make this comprehensible. But the moment his lips close around the peaked flesh, every cognitive process shorts out.
It feels like someone is buzzing against your clit.
That's the only way to describe it. The pleasure doesn't stay localized in your breastâit travels, arcing down through your belly, pooling hot and liquid between your thighs. Your nerve endings must be cross-wired, or maybe this is the cellular entanglement Jin mentioned, but the result is the same.
You gasp.
His tongue flicks across the tip and the sensation doubles.
"Ohâ"
The sound escapes before you can stop it. High and breathy and completely beyond your control.
He hums against your skin, a vibration that adds another layer to the already overwhelming input, and your fingers tighten in his hair without conscious command.
He switches to the other breast.
The first one aches at the lossâactually aches, the cool air hitting wet skin making you shiverâbut then his mouth is on the second nipple and the pleasure spikes all over again.
He's thorough.
Devastatingly thorough.
His tongue traces circles around the areola, tracking it methodically, before closing his lips around the peak and sucking. Gentle at first. Testing pressure. Then harder when you make a sound that apparently tells him what your thoughts fail to produce through your mouth.
Your thighs tighten around his waist.
He knows your body to perfection, you realize.
He knows exactly how to touch you, exactly what pressure to apply, exactly when to switch from soft to sharp. His teeth graze your nipple and you jolt, but he's already soothing the sting with his tongue, reading your responses like a language he's fluent in.
Because he is.
Seventeen timelines. However many centuries.
He's had practice. With you. Many, many times it seems.
One of his hands comes up to cup the breast his mouth isn't attending to, the thumb rolling across the nipple in counterpoint to his tongue.
"Yoongiâ"
He pulls back just enough to blow cool air across wet skin.
You whimper.
"I know," he murmurs.
Then he goes right in with his teeth closing around the sensitive peak with just enough pressure to walk the line between pleasure and pain. Your back arches off the wall, pressing your chest further into his mouth, demanding more.
You swear you can feel his arousalânot just the physical evidence pressed against your center, but the actual sensation of it. His want bleeding into yours through a connection that has to link your nervous systems.
Because if you had to hypothesize right nowâevery spike of pleasure you experience echoes back to him, amplifies, returns to you doubled.
And you need more.
Your hips roll against him instinctively, trying to chase the resolution your mind is asking for.
He hisses, pained, and his hand flies from your breast to your hip. Palm pressing flat against your pelvis, pinning you to the wall with enough force that you couldn't move if you tried.
"Noma." His voice comes out strangled. "Please."
You still, breath coming in ragged gasps.
He rests his forehead against your sternum. You can feel his chest heaving, feel the tremor running through his frame, feel how hard his dick is under you.
"I'm barelyâ" He exhales, shaky. "I'm barely holding it together as it is."
His thumb strokes across your hip bone in what you assume is a soothing movement, but just makes you want to roll your hips again.
"And I reallyâ" Another breath. "I really want to take my time worshipping you."
He looks up at you then, and his eyes are desperate.
"Don't make it impossible for me."
"I don't want you to take your time."
The words come out before your analytical mind can filter them. Blunt. Demanding. Completely outside your normal communication parameters.
His head lifts from your sternum, eyes finding yours with an expression that borders on pained.
"Nomaâ"
"I wantâ" You swallow, trying to organize the chaos in your skull into something resembling coherent speech. "I needâ"
What do you need?
The question should be simple. Your body is screaming the answer with every nerve ending, every spike of arousal, every desperate clench of your thighs around his waist.
But the words won't form.
"I know what you need." He grits out. "That's not the issue."
"Then whatâ"
His mouth finds your clavicle.
The sentence dies in your throat.
His lips trace the ridge of bone from shoulder to sternum as if he intends to memorize the topography of your skeleton through skin.
"You have no idea," he mumbles against your skin, "how many timelines I've spent thinking about this exact spot."
His teeth graze the junction where your clavicle curves into your shoulder.
You jolt.
The reaction is completely involuntaryâa full-body spasm that arches your spine and tears a sound from your throat that you will never be able to categorize in any professional report.
He pulls back slightly. Studies your face with those dark, blown-out eyes.
Then he bites.
Not hard enough to break skin. Just enough pressure to send electricity cascading down your nerve pathways, pooling hot and liquid between your thighs.
Your moan echoes off the training room walls.
"There it is." He sounds satisfied. "Right there. Every timeline. Same spot."
He bites again, worrying the flesh between his teeth, and your fingers tighten in his hair hard enough that you must be hurting him. He doesn't seem to care. If anything, the pain makes him groan against your throat, hips rolling forward in a motion that presses his cock directly against your center.
"Yoongiâ"
"I know." His mouth soothes the bite mark with his tongue. "I know, pretty girl."
His hand leaves your hip.
You register the loss of pressure, the shift in his stance as he adjusts your weight against the wall. His palm slides downâover the curve of your waist, the jut of your hip bone, finding the waistband of your training pants.
The sound of a zipper cuts through the heavy air.
Your analytical mind tries to process the sequence of events.
His fingers hooking under elastic.The drag of fabric down your thighs.The cool air hitting skin that was covered moments ago.
Your hips roll forward without your permission.
He hissesâa sharp intake of breath that sounds like it hurtsâand his hand flies back to your pelvis, pressing you flat against the wall.
"Fuckâ" The curse comes out strangled. "You're going to make me lose it."
"I'm not doing anything."
"You're existing." His forehead drops to your shoulder, breath hot and ragged against your skin. "That's enough."
His thumb shifts.
Finds your clit through the thin cotton of your underwear.
The sound that escapes you is completely outside your normal vocal rangeâhigh and breathy and desperate.
His head lifts. Dark eyes finding yours, something raw and wrecked in his expression.
"I know." His thumb circles slowly, maddeningly. "I know, baby. I know."
Baby.
The endearment lands somewhere in your chest and detonates.
"Please, want you insideâ"
"I'm trying." His voice cracks on the words. "I'm trying toâ"
He doesn't finish the sentence.
Instead, golden light flickers at the edges of your vision.
You feel it before you understand itâa shift in the air, a hum that resonates in your bones. His temporal manipulation activating, but not aimed at you. Aimed atâ
Your clothes dissolve.
Not removed. Not torn. Simply... unmade. The fabric breaking down into component fibers, then molecules, then atoms, then nothing.
One moment you're wearing training pants and cotton underwear.
The next moment... There's only skin.
He reversed time on the material itself. Sent it back to before it was woven. Before it was processed. Before it existed as anything other than raw chemical compounds.
The implications are staggering.
The sensation is overwhelming.
Cool air rushes against every inch of newly exposed skin. His clothed body presses against your naked one, the texture of his shirt against your breasts, the rough fabric of his pants against your inner thighs.
"I'm sorry. Couldn'tâ" His voice is barely coherent. "Couldn't wait. Couldn'tâ"
He's shaking, movements frantic and clumsy.
One hand stays locked on your hip, keeping you pinned, but the other fumbles at his side. Searching. His mouth finds yours againâmessy, desperate, all tongue and teeth and ragged breathingâwhile his fingers dig through his pocket.
"Wallet," he mumbles against your lips. "Wallet, walletâfuck, whereâ"
You feel him pat different pockets, hear the soft curse when he comes up empty, feel the relief flood through his frame when his fingers finally close around leather.
He breaks the kiss long enough to extract something small and square.
A condom.
Your brow furrows.
"Whyâ" You have to stop, catch your breath, try again. "Why do you have a condom?"
He looks at you. Really looks, with an expression caught somewhere between amusement and agony.
"Because I'm not going to force your body chemistry to prevent pregnancy." The words come out rushed, tumbling over each other. "You hate the hormonal fluctuations. You make presentations about the side effects every reset. So we use barrier methods instead, and if you want to have this argument for the eighteenth time, we can do that in a few days."
"Eighteenthâ"
"Yes, eighteenth." He tears the packet open with his teeth, a motion that should not be as attractive as it is. "We've had this exact conversation seventeen times. You always ask. I alwaysexplain. You always eventually agree it's the optimal solution."
His hand shakes as he reaches for his zipper.
"But right nowâ" His voice breaks, goes hoarse. "Right now I am in actual physical pain from not being inside you, so unless you have pressing objections to latex barriers, can we pleaseâ"
His hand moves in a swift motion thenâcondom unrolled, positioned, secured. You barely track the mechanics because his other hand is still on your hip, thumb pressing into the hollow of bone, and your brain is too busy cataloguing that single point of contact to process peripheral data.
Then he shifts.
His grip adjusts your angle. Tilts your pelvis forward. Lines himself up with a precision that speaks to muscle memory, to repetition, to knowing exactly where you need him.
"Breathe."
The command comes out ragged. He's not looking at your faceâhis gaze is fixed downward, watching the space between your bodies, watching himself position at your entrance.
You try to obey. Try to pull air into lungs that have forgotten how oxygen works.
He pushes forward.
One slide.
Easy.
Your body opens for him like it was designed to, like your internal architecture has been waiting for this specific configuration.
No resistance. No adjustment period. Justâ
Full.
The stretch registers somewhere in the back of your skull, but it's not pain. It's recognition. Nerve endings firing in patterns that feel less like first contact and more like reunion.
His arms wrap around you.
Not holding you up anymoreâthat's the wall's job now. This is him melting into you, chest pressing against yours, face burying into the curve of your neck, entire frame going slack like someone cut his strings.
"F-fuck."
The word vibrates against your throat.
"Fuck."
Again, more broken.
"Ffffuck, Nomaâ"
His breathing is ragged. You can feel his chest heaving, feel the way his ribs expand and contract against yours in a rhythm that matches your own stuttered attempts at respiration.
You're both panting.
Two bodies trying to remember how to function while simultaneously experiencing a neurological overload that defies easy categorization.
He's inside you.
The thought keeps looping through your consciousness, failing to fully process.
He's inside you and your body knows him. Your vaginal walls know the exact dimensions of his cock like they've memorized the data across timelines you don't remember.
He moves, hips pulling back in a slow drag that makes you feel every centimeter of withdrawal. Then forwardâquick, deep, a fierce motion that jostles your entire body upward against the wall.
Your spine arches involuntarily.
His head flies back. Dark eyes find yours, gold threading through the dark brown of his irises, and he's watching. Studying your face like it's the most important data set he's ever analyzed.
He does it again.
Slow pull. Quick thrust.
Deep enough that you swear you can feel him in your stomach.
Your mouth falls open on a sound you don't recognizeâhalf moan, half whimper, entirely outside your normal vocal parameters.
"Yeah?" His voice is wrecked. "Like that?"
You nod, the only response you can manage. Your higher cognitive functions have officially gone offline, leaving nothing but sensation and the desperate need for more.
"I know, baby." He rolls his hips again, grinding deep. "You always take it so good."
Always.
The word should trigger analytical inquiry. Should make you question how he knows what you always do when you don't remember any previous encounters.
But your brain is too busy drowning in dopamine to pursue logical threads.
His arms loosen.
The hug dissolves slowlyânot because he wants to let go, but because he wants to see. His upper body pulls back, creating space between your chests, and his gaze drops to where your bodies connect.
The expression on his faceâ
You can't classify it.
Awe comes closest. That specific look humans get when confronted with something they've seen a thousand times but still can't believe is real.
He pulls out. Slow. Watching his cock emerge glistening.
Pushes back in. Slower. Watching himself disappear inside you.
His exhale sounds like it's being torn from his lungs.
"God."
The word is barely audible.
"Look at thisâ" His voice cracks. "Look at this pretty cunt glistening."
His thumb moves. You feel it brush against your outer labia, feel him push the flesh to the side, creating a better viewing angle for himself.
"Fu-uck. Y-yeah." He sounds destroyed. "Always glisteningâfor me."
You should find this embarrassing. Should feel exposed in a way that triggers defensive responses.
Instead, you feel wanted.
He pulls out againâhalfway this time, slow and deliberateâand you watch his face as he watches his cock slot back into place. The way his jaw goes slack. The way his breathing stutters. The way his eyes track the motion like he's witnessing something sacred.
"Perfect." The word comes out like a prayer. "Perfect fucking fit."
His thumb strokes along your entrance, feeling the stretch where your body accommodates his girth. You shiver at the added stimulationâhis cock inside you, his thumb tracing where you're joined, his eyes cataloguing every detail like he's committing it to permanent memory.
Which he probably is.
Seventeen timelines of data. Seventeen versions of this exact scenario.
And he still looks at you like it's the first time.
He pushes in again. Pulls out. In. Out. Establishing a rhythm that's less about chasing orgasm and more about observationâlike each withdrawal is an opportunity to appreciate the visual.
"You have no idea," he breathes, still watching himself move inside you, "how many times I've pictured this."
Your walls clench around him involuntarily.
He groansâlow, guttural, affectedâand his hips stutter before he forces them back to the slow rhythm.
"Every time, you forget." He breathes. "But me? I alwaysâalways remember this."
His thumb finds your clit, circling it slowly, barely any pressure.
"I remember how you soundâ" His circles match the pace of his thrusts. "How you feelâ" Another circle. "How you look when I'm buried in you."
Your head falls back against the wall.
"Yoongiâ"
"I know." His voice is thick. "I know, baby. I'm right here."ââââââââââââââââ
His mouth finds yours.
The kiss is messier this timeâless precision, more desperation. His tongue slides against yours in a rhythm that matches the pace of his hips, and you taste the groan that escapes him when your walls clench around his cock.
His thumb keeps circling.
Steady. Relentless. Each rotation sending sparks up your spine while he fucks into you with increasing urgency.
"Nnhâ"
The sound gets swallowed by his mouth. He drinks it down like he's been starving for it, angling his head to kiss you deeper while his hips snap forward with more force.
Faster now.
The wet sounds of your bodies connecting fill the training roomâobscene, rhythmic, loud.
You should care about acoustics. About who might hear.
But then again, soundproofing is likely in a facility designed for combat practice.
"Yeah?" He breaks the kiss just enough to speak, lips brushing yours with every word. "My pretty girl likes this rhythm better, hm?"
You can only nod. Your vocal cords have apparently joined the rest of your higher functions in total system failure.
"Yeah." His voice is thick with satisfaction. "I know, baby. Your body tells me."
He's right.
Your body is screaming data at himâthe way your thighs tighten around his waist, the way your hips try to meet his thrusts despite the wall pinning you in place, the way your pussy clenches around him every time his thumb completes another circle.
"So fucking responsive." He's panting against your mouth now, breath hot and ragged. "Alwaysâfuckâalways so goodfor me."
His pace increases again.
The thrusts become shorter, sharper. Less about depth and more about friction, about hitting that spot inside you that makes your vision blur at the edges.
"Taking me so wellâ" His thumb presses harder against your clit. "âthis perfect pussyâ"
"Yoongiâ"
"I know." He kisses you again, brief and biting. "I can feel it. Feel how close you are."
You don't question how he knows.
You just know he does.
"Yeah?" He pulls back to look at your face, studying you with those blown-out eyes. "My pretty girl close?"
You nod frantically.
The pressure building in your core is almost unbearable. Every thrust pushes you higher, every circle of his thumb winds the tension tighter, and you're right there, right at the edgeâ
"Okay." His voice softens despite the brutal pace of his hips. "Here it comes, yeah? You ready, baby?"
Another nod. More desperate this time.
His arms wrap around you again.
The hug is different from beforeâtighter, more urgent. Like he's trying to fuse your bodies together at the cellular level. His face buries into your neck, breath scorching against that spot where your throat meets your shoulder.
Two more thrusts.
Deep.
His thumb grinds against your clit and his teeth sink into your flesh and everything detonates.
A full-system overload whites out your vision and tears a sound from your throat that you'll never be able to categorize. Your walls clamp down on his cock in rolling spasms, and you feel him followâfeel his hips stutter, feel his cock pulse inside you, feel the groan vibrating against your neck where his teeth are still buried in your skin.
He bites harder.
The pain mixes with the pleasure in a way your neural pathways can't separate, extending your climax past any reasonable duration.
You're both shaking.
His arms tremble around you. Your thighs tremble around him. The wall is the only thing keeping either of you vertical as the aftershocks roll through in diminishing waves.
Eventuallyâyou're not sure how long, your internal clock has completely malfunctionedâhis jaw loosens.
His teeth release your skin. His tongue soothes the mark he's left, and you can feel it throbbing.
The hickey is going to be visible for days. Maybe weeks.
He doesn't seem concerned about that.
"Fuck," he breathes against your throat.
Eloquent.
Your brain slowly comes back online. Systems rebooting one at a timeâmotor control, sensory processing, analytical functions.
The last one latches onto a data point it can't reconcile.
"That's statistically unlikely."
The words come out hoarse. Wrecked. But coherent enough to make him lift his head.
"Huh?"
He's still catching his breath. Still buried inside you. Still looking at you with that hazy, sex-drunk expression that suggests his higher functions haven't fully restored either.
"Climaxing at the same time." You swallow, trying to clear the roughness from your voice. "The probability of simultaneous orgasm without deliberate timing coordination is approximately 12%. Lower if you account for individual variance in arousal curves."
Silence.
He stares at you for 2.7 seconds.
Then he laughs.
Not the heated, rough sound from before. This is differentâsharp, almost derisive. The kind of laugh that precedes correction.
"Uh-uh."
You blink, still processing post-orgasmic haze while he's apparently already back in instructor mode.
"The 12% figure you're citing assumes independent arousal curves with standard deviation parameters." His thumb traces lazy patterns on your hip while he speaks, utterly unbothered by the fact that he's still buried inside you. "You're not accounting for the quantum entanglement variable."
Your brain struggles to shift gears from sensation back to analysis.
"The cellularâ"
"The cellular transfer creates a coupled oscillator system." His voice takes on that particular edge he gets when correcting your calculationsâpedagogical, precise, with an undercurrent of satisfaction at catching your error. "When two biological systems achieve quantum coherence, their arousal patterns synchronize automatically. It's not probabilityâit's physics."
He shifts slightly, making you gasp, but his expression remains focused.
"The probability isn't 12%. At our current level of entanglement, simultaneous climax is approximately 94% likely. Higher if you account for my temporal manipulation subconsciously compensating for micro-timing discrepancies."
Your analytical mind latches onto the framework despite the distraction of his body still pressed against yours.
"So the synchronization isâ"
"Inevitable." His thumb stops moving. "Given sufficient contact frequency and duration, the systems align. Basic resonance theory."
The correction should irritate you.
Instead, it does something else entirelyâsends a spike of heat through your already oversensitive nerve endings because apparently Agent Min is the kind of person who delivers physics lectures with his cock still inside you.
He notices your reaction. You can tell by the slight quirk at the corner of his mouth, the way his eyes track the flush spreading across your chest.
But he doesn't comment.
The moment stretches.
Then you notice his expression shift, bleeding into something quieter, something that looks like resignation.
"We can't do this again."
The words are not regretful nor apologetic.
But they are true.
You don't respond immediately. Your throat feels tight in a way that has nothing to do with the hickey blooming on your neck.
He pulls out slowly, and the loss of contact makes something in your chest constrict. He deals with the condom in silence, then stands there for a moment, not looking at you.
Not looking away either.
Just existing in the space between action and consequence.
"The more contact we have," he says finally, "the higher the tolerance threshold becomes."
You know this. You both know this.
"Which means more frequent contact." You finish the logical progression. "Higher dosage. Escalating dependency."
"Yes."
One word.
But millons of them in its meaning.
The weight of seventeen timelines. Seventeen cycles of this exact patternâcontact, escalation, desperation, loss.
He finally looks at you.
"This was..." He stops. Swallows. "Inadvisable."
Not wrong. Not regrettable.
Inadvisable.
"The team dynamicsâ"
"I understand."
You do. You both do.
This isn't about morality or protocol or professional boundaries. It's about mathematics. About the simple, unavoidable fact that every touch makes the next touch more necessary. Every moment of relief accelerates the timeline toward complete dependency.
And you can't afford that.
Not with the missions. Not with a resistance network that depends on both of you maintaining operational capability.
Not with CHRONOS actively hunting for you.
"Hide this." His gesture encompasses the mark on your neckâthe visible proof of what just happened. "High collar. Concealer. Whatever it takes."
You nod.
He takes a step back. Then another.
The distance feels wrong in a way your body recognizes even if your mind understands the necessity. Like a circuit being broken. Like withdrawal starting before the high has fully faded.
"Ten minutes," he says over his shoulder. "Then we resume spatial perception training."
The clinical phrasing should help. Should create the professional distance you both need.
It doesn't.
But you nod anyway, and he turns toward the door, leaving.
You're left alone in the training room, naked, marked, with the ghost of his touch still burning across every nerve ending.
And the knowledgeâquiet, inevitable, certainâthat this is exactly how it starts.
Every timeline.
Every reset.
The same pattern, looping like an infinity symbol.
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! âĄ'シá´ď˝Ľ'âĄ
Genre: Fluff that is all, just slice of life fluff.
Content warnings: None that I can think of but feel free to let me know if there are!
Word count: 3.6k Roughly
authors note: Itâs been a minute since I had both time and inspiration to write but this Yoongi live still lives in my head rent free!
Your morning didnât begin the way it usually did â not with your alarm, also not with your boyfriendâs grumpy groan about it being too early.
Instead, it started with a soft, startled âoofâ beside you⌠followed by a loud, vibrating purr and an indignant little mrrrow.
âGood morning to you too, Tang-ah,â Yoongi rasped, his voice thick with sleep and fond exasperation. âYou trying to assassinate me before breakfast?â
You blinked blearily, still half cocooned in blankets, and reached out blindly from your warm nest of sheets. Your fingers met sleek fur almost immediately. You threaded them through it, slow and lazy, and Tangâs purring deepened into something that felt like it could power a small engine.
The cat was perched triumphantly on Yoongiâs lower stomach, kneading with determined little paws like he was working dough.
You smiled into the pillow and shuffled closer to Yoongiâs warmth, draping yourself partly over his side.
âTold you he could open doors now,â you murmured sleepily. âOur boy is a genius, arenât you, Tangie? Smartest in the whole house.â
You scratched under Tangâs chin, and he tipped his head back dramatically, soaking up the attention like royalty. His paws continued their rhythmic kneading, entirely unapologetic.
Yoongiâs quiet chuckle vibrated through his chest beneath you. You rolled onto your back to stretch, immediately regretting the movement when Tang transferred his full weight onto you with zero hesitation, absolutely baited into it by your oh so loving boyfriend.
âYoon,â you protested weakly as the cat settled squarely on your chest like heâd claimed new territory.
âWhat?â Yoongi shot back, already throwing the blankets off himself. âHe was making those biscuits on my bladder. I was two seconds from pissing myself. It was survival. All is fair in cat parenting my loveâ
He swung his legs out of bed, shuffling toward the ensuite with a sigh and stretch. âYou deal with him. Heâs your son now.â
You snorted softly and relented, bringing both hands up to scratch behind Tangâs ears. He immediately began kneading again, this time with far too much enthusiasm and absolutely no respect for personal space.
âOw, that was my nipple!,â you muttered fondly as his paws pressed into your chest. âYou have no concept of boundaries, do you?â
Tang answered by purring louder and kneading harder.
From the bathroom, Yoongiâs voice floated back, amused. âHe learned that from you.â
You laughed quietly, carding your fingers through Tangâs fur as sunlight began to creep through the curtains, painting the room in warmth. The sheets were soft, the cat was smug, and the faint sound of Yoongi moving around the bathroom grounded everything in that gentle, lived-in way that made mornings feel nice.
You closed your eyes again with a contented sigh, trusting in the universal law of cats â once they had decided you were boring, they would move on to their next conquest. Sure enough, Tang abandoned you within seconds, hopping down from the bed with a purposeful flick of his tail.
âOff to commit crimes, my childâ you murmured. âProbably going to scam your grandmother out of treats for breakfast, huh?.â
If you had to bet, he was already halfway down the hall, rehearsing his most pitiful meow.
The mattress dipped beside you again and before you could react, strong arms wrapped around your waist and dragged you backward. You squealed softly as Yoongi pulled you flush against his chest, his warmth enveloping you. He nipped playfully at your shoulder before pressing slow kisses there instead, his lips lingering against your skin.
âHey,â you laughed breathlessly.
His hand slipped beneath your sleep shirt, warm palm settling just under your chest. The contact made you chuckle, half from surprise, half from the familiar comfort of him.
âHhmm?â he hummed innocently into your neck.
âOh nothing,â you said lightly, nudging his wrist with your fingers. âJust thinking your son learned that move from you.â
Yoongiâs face lit up with a wicked little grin as he lifted his head, eyes glittering with mischief. He buried his face back into your neck, planting another kiss there, slower this time.
âDonât worry, sweetheart,â he murmured. âIâll behave.â
You felt the words more than heard them.
His hand stilled, resting comfortably instead of wandering, and his voice softened when he asked, âWhat are your plans for today?â
You groaned a dramatic little sound then rolled onto your side so you could face him. âI have to edit the photos from the Allen wedding, make a start on putting together their album and slideshow⌠and Iâve also got some emails Iâve been pretending donât exist.â
You cupped his cheek and kissed him, slow and lingering. âI should probably start editing soon, but what about you, my love? Off to the studio to be a musical genius and lyrical mastermind?â
You grinned when his cheeks flushed pink immediately.
âHajima,â he muttered, scrunching his nose before the shy smile returned. But then his expression shifted â the teasing softness fading into something more thoughtful. His brows knit slightly as he hesitated.
âI will be⌠for a bit,â he said carefully. âBut⌠I was also thinking I might go live today.â
You tilted your head. âLive?â
âYeah,â he nodded faintly. âMaybe when Iâm home⌠or maybe at the studio.â
His voice was quieter now, less certain. He stared at the pillow for a moment before glancing back at you.
âWith one of the boys?â you prompted gently.
âNo,â he said, shaking his head. âBy myself.â
Your heart tightened at that. You could see it now â the nerves tucked beneath his calm, the way his fingers fidgeted slightly against the sheets. It wasnât fear of ARMY. Never them. It was the weight of time, the vulnerability of showing himself again alone, without the comfort of his six brothers, after so long.
You smiled and ran your thumb slowly across his cheek, grounding him. âYou know theyâve missed you.â
âI know,â he sighed softly. âI just⌠havenât done it like that in a while.â
His eyes lifted to yours, searching.
âBaby,â you whispered with a small grin, âyou donât have to stay long. You could just say hi, show them youâre alive and still handsome.â
He snorted. âHandsome?â
âDevastatingly,â you corrected.
That finally earned you a real smile, slow and fond. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours.
âWill you watch?â he asked quietly.
âOf course,â you said without hesitation. âIâll even be the first âYoongi marry meâ in the chat.â
He kissed you then with a chuckle, gentle and grateful, his arms tightening around you as sunlight crept higher across the bed and the quiet hum of the house wrapped around you both.
Somewhere down the hall, Tang yowled dramatically.
You both sighed.
âSee?â you murmured. âAlready practicing for his drama debut.â
Breakfast was a quick, lazy affair â toast, sliced fruit, and a few stolen kisses before you finally sent him out the door. You watched Yoongi tug his jacket on, hair still soft and a little wild from sleep, before you pressed one last kiss to his lips and waved him off.
âDonât forget to eat,â you called after him.
âI wonât forget, and donât try to act like you're not as badâ he shot back with a grin.
The door clicked shut, leaving the apartment wrapped in a peaceful quiet. Almost immediately, soft paws thudded down the hallway behind you.
You smiled. âOf course youâre coming too.â
Tang followed you like a shadow into your office. You pushed the door open and crossed straight to the window, pulling the blinds up and letting the honeyed morning light spill across the room. Dust motes danced in it, turning the space warm and alive.
âOkay, Tang,â you murmured as you set your coffee beside your laptop and dropped into your chair. âMumma needs to lock the fuck in on these photos.â
He jumped onto the desk with a soft thump and headbutted your chin in agreement.
Before booting up your laptop, you took a second to glance around the room â and your gaze softened when it landed on your favorite photo frame. Yoongiâs gummy smile was frozen there forever, joy written all over his face as he watched his brother marry the love of his life. Youâd taken it without thinking, just another candid moment from the wedding⌠never knowing it would be the moment that quietly tied your lives together.
That was how you and Yoongi had met â photographing his brotherâs wedding.
But that is a story for another day.
You opened your software and spent the first hour answering inquiries and booking new weddings, then finally pulled up the album you planned to work on today. The newlyweds filled your screen â the groom looking at his bride like sheâd hung the moon, eyes bright with awe as they cut the cake.
Your chest warmed.
âDefinitely going in the album, huh, Tang-ah,â you mused.
Your sentence was punctuated by a solid headbutt to your jaw.
âViolent agreement. Got it.â
You lost track of time after that, sinking into your editing flow â adjusting contrast, fiddling around with grayscale, softening colors, cropping just right. The only interruptions were the soft click of your mouse, the faint hum of the apartment, and the steady ping of your phone as Yoongi sent updates from the studio.
Tangâs dad đâ⏠: This song weâre working on⌠itâs so good.
You smiled instantly.
Y/N: Send me a snippet!
Tangâs dad đâ⏠: Nope. you have to wait like everyone else, baby.
You scoffed aloud, already picturing the smug grin heâd be wearing.
Y/N: Even though Iâm sleeping with one of the producers?? rude. What kind of non-perks are these Min!!!Â
You hit send with a shake of your head, imagining the fond eye-roll heâd give his phone.
Eventually, your stomach betrayed you with an unmistakable growl.
âOkay,â you muttered. âLunch time i guess, damn.â
It took about five seconds to decide âabsolutely notâ to cooking. You grabbed your phone, opened the food delivery app, and ordered gimbap and another coffee for yourself â then added a second order for Yoongi to be delivered to the studio without even thinking about it.
You plucked a few strawberries from the fridge to tide yourself over and padded out into the living room, stretching your back out with a groan.
âI really need to fix my posture,â you scolded yourself. âI sit like a shrimp.â
Tang followed, tail flicking as you collapsed onto the couch and scrolled through Netflix, not really watching anything.
A little bit later your mouth full of food your phone buzzed again.
Tangâs dad đâ⏠: Thank you, for the coffee and gimbap my love.
Your lips curved immediately.
Y/N: youâre welcome baby, I even ordered the americano decaf for you and your old man stomach, oh sweet love of my life.
A pause.
Thenâ
Tangâs dad đâ⏠: Old man?! I am four months older than youâŚ
Tangâs dad đâ⏠: Great now JK is calling me old man I hate you.
You laughed.
Y/N: No you donât.
You were left on read.
You shook your head fondly, setting your phone down as Tang hopped up beside you and curled into your thigh.
âBubs?â you told him. âYour dad is dramatic.â
Tang blinked slowly.
The apartment stayed quiet, warm with sunlight and the faint promise of delivery bags and new music somewhere across the city.
By the time you finally surfaced from your editing software again, your eyes felt dry and your shoulders ached in that familiar Iâve been sitting too long way. A decent portion of the album was finished, the rest of the photos neatly tagged and waiting for tomorrow. You saved everything with a satisfied hum and pushed your chair back just asâ
Tang suddenly shot out of the room like heâd been fired from a cannon.
You grinned instantly.
The electronic lock disengaged with its familiar chirp, followed by a soft, fond voice from the hallway.
âYeah, Tang-ah⌠Dadâs home.â
The loudest, most content meow Tang had made all day rang through the apartment, followed by frantic little paws skidding across the floor.
âY/N, Iâm home!â
âIn my office, sweetheart,â you called back, glancing at the clock.
Fuck.
Had it really gotten that late?
You rolled your shoulders, wincing, just as warm hands settled on them and began kneading gently. A startled breath left you before melting into a soft sigh.
âAnd you have the nerve to get on my ass about my posture,â Yoongi murmured by your ear.
You hummed and reached back, fingers sliding into his long dark hair. You turned your head to press a kiss to his cheek.
âIâm merely helping out the elderly.â
You barely had time to snicker before he pinched your hip lightly.
âFuckinâ brat,â he muttered, affection thick in his voice.
You turned in your chair fully to face him, as he leaned against your desk while Tang circled his ankles like a tiny bodyguard. Yoongi launched into stories from the studio â how everyone was buzzing because the album finally sounded finished, how Hobi had been utterly clowned by Jimin, Jungkook, and Jin for getting confused over the Super Tuna dance.
âOh, theyâll never let him live that down,â you laughed. âHobiâs gonna be out for blood next practice.â
âExactly why Iâm skipping it,â Yoongi said with a grin.
Then he hesitated.
You saw it immediately â the way his shoulders lifted slightly, the way his fingers flexed against the desk.
âUm⌠do you mind if I use the media room and go live?â
You didnât even blink. âBaby, itâs your house too. You donât have to ask.â
His shoulders dropped in relief.
âIf we bring Tang in here,â you added. âIâll keep him occupied. Iâll just shut the door and we can be quiet as a mouse, we will watch on my phone while I finish these last edits.â
You leaned up and kissed him softly. âYouâre gonna do great.â
His lips curved against yours, that shy little smile you loved.
âYour glasses are still on the nightstand, by the way!â you called as he headed for the hall.
He lifted a hand in a wave without turning back.
Tang immediately tried to follow him.
âOh no you donât,â you said, scooping the cat up mid-betrayal. âYour dad has a very important celebrity thing to do.â
Tang yowled in protest as you shut the door.
You settled back into your chair with the cat in your lap, phone already in hand as you reopened your editing software. Through the closed media room door, you heard faint movement â the scrape of a chair, the soft click of a lamp.
A moment later, the Weverse notification lit up your screen.
ěźę° is live
Your heart fluttered as you tapped into Weverse, propping your phone against your now-empty coffee cup. The screen loaded andâ
God.
God he looked so soft it almost hurt.
Dark hair still fluffy from the day, falling gently around his face, the black shirt fitting him criminally well. For a second he just sat there, blinking at the camera, clearly trying to convince himself this was a normal thing to do again.
Then he frowned.
Squinted.
Lifted the phone closer to his face.
ââŚAh.â
You smiled so hard your cheeks ached.
He muttered something about his eyesight, fiddled with his hair, then leaned out of frame.
âIâll be right back.â
You sighed fondly into the quiet office, hearing him move down the hallway picturing his little grandpa shuffle as he searched for his glasses.
âI told you where they were, idiot.â You whispered fondly
On screen, he came back wearing them, immediately looking more put-together and somehow even softer.
He talked about the cold weather first â the safe topic â brushing his bangs back, glancing nervously at the comments, squinting again.
âWhy canât I see the words very well?â
You scoffed quietly. âOld man.â
Comforted by the sound of his deep voice filling the apartment, you turned back to your editing. You adjusted contrast on a photo of the bridal party, smiled at how perfectly the sun caught the brideâs veil, and glanced over at Tang just to be sure.
He was sprawled across his cat tower like a loaf of burnt bread, tail flicking lazily.
âGood,â you whispered. âStay.â
You dove back into your work, slipping into that familiar focused trance. Yoongiâs voice hummed in the background as he thanked ARMY for waiting, said heâd missed them, promised music soon.
You were so close to finishing.
Thenâ
âMrrrow.â
Your heart dropped.
You snapped your head up.
The cat tower was empty.
You whipped around to the office door.
Now opened a fraction.
âŚWhich meant he was surely already in the hallway.
âFuck,â you breathed.
You froze in your chair, mind racing. You couldnât go after him â not without making noise, not without being heard. You risked a glance at your phone just in time to see Yoongiâs expression change.
First: surprise.
Next: resignation.
Finally: pure fondness.
He looked and scoffed like a man who knew exactly what was happening, and accepted it.
âTang,â he called gently.
Your stomach flipped.
âMrrrow.â
âYes. Today,â Yoongi said with a sigh. âYes, Tang. Come on air today.â
You stared in horror as your cat was lifted into frame like a furry offering to the internet. You watched as Min Yoongi, world renowned artist, producer and rapper. Introduced your cat to the world with the most endeared smile, like he was the proudest millennial cat dad alive.
âThis is Tang,â he said, smiling as Tang immediately demanded tummy rubs. âHeâs⌠very loud.â
Tang rewarded him by screaming.
Yoongi chuckled and scratched under his chin. Then he frowned slightly and began patting Tangâs neck.
âWait⌠where is your bell?â
You slapped a hand over your mouth.
No.
He disappeared off screen for half a second and reappeared holding it.
That stupid bell. So stupid it was adorable.
The tiny, ridiculous, baby chick-shaped bell you had bought at three in the morning because it was cute, yellow and absolutely unnecessary, and that alone made it necessary.
He fastened it back around Tangâs neck proudly.
âThere,â he said, smiling like heâd accomplished something great.
Your heart fluttered painfully as he explained how he had originally wanted two cats â one named Sol and one Tang â but couldnât. How Tangâs dad had been a street cat. How Tang could open doors. How smart he was.
You sank back into your chair, watching the screen with a hand still over your mouth.
Tang fussed in Yoongiâs arms, tail swishing, meowing indignantly. Yoongi answered every sound with hums and a little smile, rubbing his belly, patting his back.
Then came the butt pats.
Firm. Proud. Repetitive.
Tang melted into it instantly demanding more.
The rest of the live passed like a blur â Yoongi talking about music, Tang interrupting, Yoongi telling ARMY even more things about that menace of a beautiful cat.
You watched the whole thing from your desk, heart warm, eyes soft, knowing you would never tease him about thisâŚ
âŚOut loud, anyway.
When the live finally ended, you didnât move right away.
You just stared at the black screen for a second and whispered:
âI love you, you ridiculous man.â
From down the hall, you heard:
âMrrrow.â
And then Yoongiâs voice:
âDonât try and act innocent now Tang-ah.â
Moving on instinct alone, you slipped out of your office and padded down the hallway, apology already forming on your lips.
âYoonâ baby, I am so sorry,â you said softly, poking your head into the media room with your hands clasped in front of you. âI only looked away for a second to fix the contrast on this picture andââ
âItâs okay, sweetheart.â
He was already smiling.
Tang was curled up in his lap like heâd been there all along, a black ball of fur rising and falling with slow, satisfied breaths. A deep purr vibrated through the quiet room, loud enough that you felt it before you fully heard it.
âHe just missed his dad,â Yoongi added gently, running his hand down Tangâs back.
Your chest tightened.
âI shouldâve noticed him opening the door,â you said, stepping fully inside and lowering yourself beside him on the couch. âI really am sorry.â
Yoongi shook his head. âHe⌠actually helped calm my nerves.â He glanced at you then, eyes soft as they traced your face. âSo it worked out.â
You let out a small laugh, leaning into him. âIâm also sorry I wasnât the first âYoongi marry meâ in the chat, for what itâs worth.â
You rested your head on his shoulder and slid your fingers into Tangâs fur, scratching lightly behind his ear.
Yoongiâs body shook with silent laughter, his arm coming around you automatically.
âTraitor,â he murmured fondly.
For a moment, you just stayed there â the three of you tucked into the quiet aftermath of something that had felt big something vulnerable and somehow small all at once.
You thought, not for the first time, that life couldnât possibly get any better than this.
A boyfriend who loved you deeply.
A cat who loved you both loudly.
And a home that felt warm in every sense of the word.
Tang shifted slightly, stretching one paw out experimentally until it rested against your leg, as if testing whether he could still charm you too.
Your heart melted.
âLook at him,â you whispered. âHeâs deciding if Iâm worthy.â
âHe is very selective,â Yoongi agreed solemnly.
You smiled into his shoulder, eyes drifting shut.
What you couldnât know â what you had no way of knowing yet â was that hidden away in the safe at Genius Lab was a small velvet ring box. Waiting patiently. Quietly. Full of promises to make life even sweeter.
on a sunny day, you decide to read...
â i.all the dreamers in the world - pre-boyfriend!BTS.
â ii.the lovers between forevers - boyfriend!BTS.
â iii.in search of a happy ending - husband!BTS.
â iv.for you, a thousand times over - dad!BTS.
â v.a dream within a dream - ex-boyfriend!BTS.
â vi.and the rest is rust & stardust - second-chance!BTS.
on a rainy day, you decide to read...
â vii.i wish you always - how to create a garden.
â â â soulmate!yoongi, against all beliefs.
â â â soulmate!jungkook, the other half of us.
â â â soulmate!namjoon, when everything exists.
â â â soulmate!hoseok, the care of love.
â â â soulmate!jimin, with the fragility of a promise.
â â â soulmate!seokjin, spells in the night.
â â â soulmate!taehyung, made of the same hope.
â viii.oh, your love is sunlight - tears of gold.
â â â older-brother!yoongi, the act of noticing.
â â â older-brother!jungkook, memories of tenderness.
â â â older-brother!namjoon, sweet as hope.
â â â older-brother!hoseok, lost in past moments.
â â â older-brother!jimin, forever duckling with us.
â â â older-brother!seokjin, the importance of yes.
â â â older-brother!taehyung, the fragility of a smile.
â ix.but here i blur into you - before & always.
â â â childhood-friend!yoongi, visions of maybes.
â â â childhood-friend!jungkook, the game of certainty.
â â â childhood-friend!namjoon, the foundation of love.
â â â childhood-friend!hoseok, between ribbons and gold.
â â â childhood-friend!jimin, all the light in your heart.
â â â childhood-friend!seokjin, always leveling up.
â â â childhood-friend!taehyung, closer to the beginning.
â x.softer than the stars - secrets of you.
â â â best-friend!yoongi, drops of hearts.
â â â best-friend!jungkook, promise of feathers & you.
â â â best-friend!namjoon, all the heartfelt hope.
â â â best-friend!hoseok, the loss of loneliness.
â â â best-friend!jimin, stars in the bright sky.
â â â best-friend!seokjin, the definition of you.
â â â best-friend!taehyung, tenderness at the fingertips.
â xi.where the sun meets wildflowers - i am there.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!yoongi, classes of love poems.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!jungkook, a lesson on devotion.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!namjoon, flowers of knowledge.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!hoseok, semesters of passion.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!jimin, to be added.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!seokjin, to be added.
â â â highschool-sweetheart!taehyung, to be added.
â xii.all love is an attempt to live - to be added.
â perfectlyoongi, all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate or steal my work.
pairing: yoongi x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 11,3k | warnings: here
genre: dystopian, timelines, psychological, starcrossed+fated mates
"black velvet"
"You barely understand your own brain, let alone the way Agent Minâs voice derails your pulse. But when time stops and your Kairos finally breathes, the memories start comingâsoft, sharp, impossibleâand suddenly the black velvet couch is the most dangerous object in the room."
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âŞď¸author's note : Okay listen⌠every single time I write from a male leadâs POV I end up possessed by their entire psychological profile for like twentyâfour hours afterward. Itâs embarrassing. Itâs concerning. Itâs method acting without the talent. Because tell me why Iâve been walking around my apartment today grumbling like the universe committed a personal offense against me (to be fair⌠it has. Not to Yoongiâs extent, but I literally do taxes and law for a living. âInconveniencedâ is my default setting. Judges and I have a mutually assured destruction pact at this point.)
This first scene was so, so important for me to write, because I needed you to feel the weight of what has happenedâbut from his internal landscape. Like this isnât a little âoopsie daisy I used too much temporal magic teehee.â No. This is bad. This is really bad. Heâs fucked. Everyone is fucked. And I wanted you to sit with that dread the way he has to. One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is when something catastrophic happens and then the plot immediately gets distracted by side shenanigans, and the emotional gravity just⌠evaporates. No. If something breaks, youâre going to feel the sharp edges. I wanted the problem to sink its fangs in you the way it sinks them into him.
And Jin⌠god, Jin is tired. He has been trying to solve this for timelines, and Yoongiâs stubbornness is not adorable to him. Itâs not endearing. Itâs frustrating and terrifying and rooted in love but still so hardto deal with. Theyâre different people with different coping mechanisms and personalities, which means in a very sad way⌠theyâre both right. Youâll see their dynamic shift and tense and drag like tectonic plates grinding against each other. But Yoongi is the leader, and that matters. Seokjin can rage against his decisions, but it doesnât change the structure of their roles. Thatâs part of the tragedy.
And then we hop to Noma waking up (still at Hobi and Jiminâs, yes. Correct. Non-negotiable. Also blood is notoriously difficult to remove and trauma research is on my side here). She wakes up like a Roomba. 10pm to 1:39am? Nothing to see here, full REM cycle secured, who cares about the metaphysical anomaly in the basement. And you KNOW I had to break the fourth wall with Jimin calling her a tragic heroine. Heâs such a menace. A pink-haired menace. My pink-haired baby. I love HIM so much itâs embarrassing. AND HOBI??? shut the fuck up I will come clean publicly: Hopemin are my weakness ship-wise. Itâs not Jikook. Itâs not Taekook. Itâs Hopemin or nothing. I love THEM, your honor. The duality, the devotion, the chaos, the softnessâmy brain gets smooth like river pebble every time I write them.
AND HOBIâS ANIMALS⌠oh my god. OH my GOD. Iâve been WAITING. I have been vibrating. Each animalâs name being chosen by someone different, each reflecting a personality, each one being a lens into their relationshipsâthis is the stuff that makes my writer brain combust with joy. I loved weaving these manifestations in because it felt like the world finally opened another door for you to look through.
Now. The couch. THE COUCH. I winked at it in Chapter 2 and now you know why Noma was laser-focused on that thing from the moment she walked in. That couch has lore. That couch has history. That couch has a spiritual rĂŠsumĂŠ. That couch should probably be in a museum for ethical reasons.
All Iâll say is: donât take your eye off it. <3
His skull is trying to crack itself open from the inside.
Thatâs what it feels like, anywayâsome cosmic sledgehammer just pounding away at the bone, each pulse synced to a rhythm he canât control.
One would think after however many centuries (millennia? does it even matter when one stopped counting somewhere around timeline 337 after you figured out pulses existed and explained them like they were the most obvious thing in the world?), heâd have experienced every flavor of suffering the universe could devise.
Turns out thereâs always room for innovation.
The headacheâs worse this time. Exponentially worse, which doesnât make sense because exponential growth should plateau eventually, right? Physics should intervene. Reality should say enough.
But apparently withdrawal doesnât give a fuck about physics or reality or his desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, this reset would hurt less than the last sixteen.
He blinks at the podâs ceiling.
Curved polymer panels. LED strips embedded in the isolation seal. The persistent hum of Jinâs cobbled-together life support systemâhalf stolen CHRONOS medical tech, half underground resistance engineering, fully excessive in its thoroughness.
There are tubes in his mouth. Nose too. Heâs pretty sure Jinâs shoved tubes into every viable orifice and invented a few new ones just to be thorough. Electromagnetic stabilization bands wrap his wrists, his chest, probably his ankles though he canât quite feel those yet.
The whole setup screams âprepared for catastrophic system failureâ, which would be touching if it wasnât so goddamn insulting.
Part of himâthe leader part, the one thatâs supposed to be grateful and magnanimousâwants to thank Jin for his foresight.
The other partâthe one thatâs been awake for three seconds and already wants to go back to unconsciousnessâwants to ask Jin when exactly he lost faith that this timeline would be different.
Heâs gonna do both.
If Jin doesnât lecture him to death first.
âFinally awake.â
Yoongi doesnât move.
Because moving requires effort, and effort requires acknowledging heâs conscious, and acknowledging consciousness means Jin gets to do his whole âI-told-you-soâ routine that Yoongi has heard in seventeen different variations across seventeen identical fuckups.
If he stays very still, maybe his eyeballs just opened on their own. Involuntary muscle spasms. Happens all the time in coma patients, right?
âStop faking unconsciousness.â Jinâs voice carries that particular brand of exasperation reserved for people whoâve known each other too long. âYour heart rate spiked when you woke up.â
Shit.
âYouâre brilliant with temporal mechanics,â Jin continues, and Yoongi can hear him moving closerâthe shuffle of lab coat, the soft beep of monitoring equipment that wasnât designed for this but works anyway because Jinâs good at improvising. âAbsolute genius at timeline manipulation. But youâre still horrible at playing dead.â
Yoongi shoves the tube out of his mouth with more force than necessary.
It catches on his teeth, scrapes the back of his throat, and he chokes on the sudden influx of air that tastes like recycled oxygen and medical-grade disappointment.
âDidnât ask for your opinion,â he rasps.
âNo, you asked for seventeen rounds of the same self-destructive bullshit.â Jin appears in his peripheral vision through the podâs transparent side panel, arms crossed, looking like he hasnât slept since the last timeline. Maybe longer. âHowâs that working out for you?â
âFantastic.â Yoongiâs voice sounds like he gargled gravel. âNever better. Might take up competitive withdrawal as a hobby.â
âFunny.â Jin doesnât sound amused. He sounds like heâs one smartass comment away from strangling Yoongi with medical tubing. âOn a scale of one to tenââ
âA thousand.â
âThatâs not how scales work.â
âThen stop asking stupid questions.â Yoongi finally turns his headâmistake, massive mistake, the world tilts sideways and his brain sloshes around like itâs liquidâand glares at Jin through the podâs polymer wall. âHow long was I out?â
â37 pulses. So 15 hours, give or takeâif CHRONOS didnât manipulate anything.â
âMission?â
âSuccessful. Harrisonâs research data secured. No casualties.â
The relief that floods through him has weight, makes his chest feel less tight despite the tubes and the bands and the general sense that his bodyâs been through a temporal blender.
âGood.â
âGood,â Jin repeats, and something in his tone shifts. Hardens. âYou collapsed in the middle of an active extraction zone. She teleported you both here without even knowing what she was doing, and Jiminââ
âBut I didnât die.â
âYou didnât die,â Jin confirms, and thereâs something sharp lodged in those words. Relief, maybe. Fury, definitely. Probably both fighting for dominance. âCongratulations on that bare minimum achievement.â
âThanks. Very proud of myself.â
âYou should be. Most people donât survive seventeen timelines of compounded cellular addiction without medical intervention.â Jin leans closer to the podâs control panel, and Yoongi can see the exhaustion carved into his features like someone took a scalpel to them. âWhich brings us to the part where you let me actually help you instead of white-knuckling through withdrawal like a martyr with a death wish.â
âCanât die, remember?â Yoongiâs voice comes out rougher than intended. âWouldnât even get that relief.â
âIâm aware.â Jinâs jaw tightens. âTrust me, the irony of treating someone whoâs biologically incapable of dying from the thing thatâs killing them is not lost on me.â
Yoongi wants to laugh, but his ribs hurt and his headâs still doing that pounding thing, so he settles for a grimace that might charitably be called a smile.
âSo whatâs the damage report?â
âThe usual. Neurotransmitter depletion, synaptic misfiring, temporal signature fluctuations that made our equipment think we were being invaded by a small army.â Jin taps something on a holographic display projected above the pod. âYour cellular receptors are screaming for contact. Early stages, but building fast.â
There it is.
The want.
Not the normal kindânot the soul-deep ache of loving someone across impossible distances, not the yearning that comes from watching you exist in a reality where you donât remember him.
Thatâs old pain, familiar pain, the kind heâs learned to carry like a skeleton.
This is different.
This is physical. Chemical. A tingling need that sits just under his skin like static electricity, making everything feel wrong, too tight, not enough.
Itâs manageable right now, barely noticeable under the headache and the general sense that his bodyâs staging a coup, but he knows how this goes.
Two weeks, maybe three if heâs lucky, before the craving becomes unbearable.
A month before heâs climbing the walls.
Six weeks before his temporal control starts fracturing at the edges, time bending around his desperation like light around a black hole.
âSo we manage it,â Jin continues, and his voice drops into that careful register that means heâs about to suggest something Yoongi wonât like. âSmall touches. Controlled exposure. Weâve done this beforeââ
âNo.â
âYoongiââ
âI said no.â He forces himself to look at Jin, to meet his eyes through the polymer with enough conviction that the argument dies before it starts. âIâm staying away from her for as long as I possibly can.â
Jinâs expression cycles through several emotions too fast to catalog.
Frustration. Disbelief. Something that might be resigned acceptance.
âThatâs stupid.â
âThatâs final.â
âYou know it doesnât work that way. The longer you avoid contact, the worse the crash when it inevitably happens. Itâll still end up with you and her and the lounge room smelling likeââ
âThen Iâll deal with the crash.â Yoongi interrupts. âIâm not ruining her chances again.â
âHer chances at what? Existing in blissful ignorance while you fall apart?â
âHer chances at a timeline where she doesnât spend every waking moment managing my dependencies.â The words taste bitter. âShe deserves better than being my walking fix.â
Jin stares at him for a long moment, and something in his expression softens.
âYouâre an idiot.â
âNoted.â
âA self-sacrificing idiot with martyr tendencies.â
âAlso noted.â
Jin runs both hands through his hair, and Yoongi notices how much grayer itâs gotten.
Temporal stress, probably.
Or just stress-stress.
Hard to tell the difference anymore.
âYouâre beingââ Jin cuts himself off, jaw working.
When he speaks again, his voice is quieter. Raw.
âIâm a memory scientist, Yoongi, not a doctor. I learned how to stop your seizures from Namjoonâs stolen medical files. I figured out neurotransmitter dosing through trial and error because we canât exactly smuggle in doctors without CHRONOS noticing the temporal signatures, and anyone with the clearance to treat you would also have the clearance to report you.â
âWhich is why I need someone I can trust.â He replies. âWhich is you. And youâre doing great.â
âIâm doing the minimum.â Jinâs voice cracks slightly. âWhich is why you need to let me actually implement proper treatment protocols instead of pretending you can willpower your way through cellular addiction.â
âTreatment dulls my abilities.â
âNegligiblyââ
âAny amount is too much.â Yoongi finally manages to shift in the pod, ignoring how the world sways and his stomach threatens revolt. âIâm actively maintaining this HQ as a temporal blind spot, Seokjin. Every pulse. If I slip for even a momentââ
âYouâve been doing that for timelines. Plural. Your temporal abilities have expanded into territory that makes CHRONOSâs detection grids look like childrenâs toys.â Jin leans against the podâs exterior, voice dropping. âYou maintain the blind spot naturally now. Like breathing. Your power scale and your control over it is frankly terrifying, so let me help you.â
âNo.â
âYoongiââ
âWhen you have power this massive, you have responsibility this massive.â Yoongi meets his eyes, holds the contact until Jin looks away first. âA single percentage point of reduced control could mean the difference between this HQ staying hidden and CHRONOS finding us. I canâtâI wonâtârisk everyone here because Iâm too weak to handle withdrawal.â
The silence stretches.
Jin breaks it with something between a sigh and a groan, the sound of someone whoâs had this argument seventeen times and lost every single one.
âYouâre impossible.â
âIâm smart.â
âYouâre stubborn.â
âAlso smart.â
âAt leastââ Jinâs voice takes on a pleading edge that makes Yoongiâs chest tighten. âAt least let me regulate your neural chemistry. Small doses, just enough to take the edge off.â
âNo.â
âYoongi.â
âI said no, Seokjin.â
âDo you need me to spell it out for you?â Jinâs voice climbs, and thereâs something sharp underneathânot quite anger, more like desperation wrapped in exasperation. âThe cellular dependency is already reactivated. Your receptors are firing. In two weeks youâre going to be feelingââ
âFeeling what?â
The words come out flat. Cold.
Jin stops mid-sentence, mouth still open on whatever medical terminology he was about to throw like it would make a difference.
Yoongi shifts against the podâs padding, and the tubes pull at his skin in ways that make everything worse.
The headacheâs still there, pounding away like itâs got a personal vendetta, and underneath it all is that other thing.
âYou want to talk about feeling?â His voice drops lower, rougher. âReally?â
âYoongiââ
âIt feels like I wanna crawl out of my fucking skin.â His voice tightens. âPeel it off in strips and burn it. Just to make the static stop.â
Jin goes still.
âRight now? Itâs mild. Manageable. Just thisââ Yoongi gestures vaguely at his chest, his arms, everywhere. ââtingling. Like my whole bodyâs asleep but I can still feel it. Every pulse. Every second sheâs not in my line of sight, thereâs this hollow spot right hereââ
He presses his palm flat against his sternum, hard enough it hurts.
ââand it gets deeper. Every pulse, it caves in further. Like my chest is collapsing inward and thereâs no bottom to it. Just keeps going and going until I canât fucking breathe without feeling the absence.â
Jinâs jaw works. âYoongiââ
âIâm not done.â
His hand drops. Curls into a fist against his thigh.
âThatâs now. Two weeks from now? A month? I know exactly how this goes. Iâve lived it seventeen times, Seokjin. Seventeen.â
He spits the number like itâs poison.
âIt starts with the tingling. Then the hollow feeling. Then it gets worseâmy temperature spikes, canât regulate it anymore. Start sweating through my clothes. Canât sleep. Canât think. Every thought loops back to her. âWhere is she. Whatâs she doing. Does she need me. Is she safeâ.â
Jin tries to interrupt. âThatâs why we need toââ
âThen it gets worse.â Yoongi talks over him and doesnât care. âCanât maintain focus. Timeline calculations start slipping. Reality bleeds at the edges because my controlâs fracturing. And the wantââ
His voice cracks.
ââthe want becomes this living thing under my skin. Not emotional want. Physical. Cellular. Every nerve ending screaming for contact. Her hands. Her skin. The quantum transfer thatâll make it stop.â
Heâs breathing hard now, and he knows Jin can see itâthe slight tremor in his hands, the way his pupils are too dilated, the flush climbing up his neck.
âAnd you know what the worst part is? I know where it ends. Iâve been there. Multiple times.â
âYoongi, you need toââ
âIt ends with me needing her bare hands on me every waking moment. Her nails down my back just to feel something real. Needing to be inside her, fucking her, just to get thirty minutes of relief before the craving starts again.â
Jin flinches.
âThatâs the endgame, Seokjin. Thatâs where this goes if I donât control it. So donâtââ
Yoongiâs voice climbs, louder, sharper.
ââdonât you dare lecture me about what Iâm feeling or how the loop works or what I should do about it.â
âIâm trying to help you manageââ
âI donât want your fucking management!â
The shout echoes off the lab walls.
Jinâs makeshift equipment hums nervouslyâresearch computers mixing with stolen medical monitors, temporal analysis screens next to IV drip regulators.
Something flickersâjust for a secondâin the LED panels overhead.
âI donât want dampeners. I donât want synthetic neurotransmitters. I donât want any of your band-aid solutions thatâll just make me weaker when I need to be strongest.â
âYou canât just power through cellular addiction.â
âWatch me.â
âYouâre being recklessââ
âIâm being a leader!â Yoongiâs fist slams against the podâs interior wall, and the impact reverberates through the isolation chamber. âThis is my body. My issue. My responsibility. Not yours. Not hers. Mine.â
âAnd what happens when you canât maintain the blind spot anymore?â Jinâs voice rises to match his. âWhen your control slips because youâre too busy fighting withdrawal to focus? When CHRONOS finds us because you were too stubborn to accept help?â
âThat wonât happenââ
âYou donât know that!â
âI know my limitsââ
âYour limits change every timeline!â Jinâs hands clench at his sides. âEach reset makes it worse. You know this. I have the data. The progression acceleratesââ
âThen Iâll adaptââ
âYou canât adapt your way out of biology!â
âI canââ
âNo, you canât! Youâre not invincible, Yoongi. Youâre notââ
âIâm all we have!â
The words hang there, raw and desperate.
âIâm all we have,â Yoongi repeats, quieter now but no less intense. âIâm the Time Anchor. I maintain the blind spot. I coordinate timeline jumps. I keep everyone here safe from CHRONOS detection. If Iâm compromisedâif my abilities are dulled by even a fractionâpeople die.â
âIf you collapse from withdrawal, people die anyway.â
âI wonât collapse.â
âYou donât knowââ
âI know!â
Yoongiâs voice cracks again, and something in the air shifts.
The equipment stops humming.
Not powered downâjust frozen. Caught mid-cycle like reality itself decided to hold its breath.
Jinâs eyes go wide. âYoongiââ
âI know exactly how much pain I can take.â His voice drops to something barely human. âIâve had centuries to learn my threshold. And trust me when I say Iâm nowhere near it yet.â
The temperature drops three degrees in two seconds.
âYouâre going to stop acting like I donât understand my own body.â
The LED panels flicker.
Once.
Twice.
âAnd youâre going to accept that Iâd rather claw my way through withdrawal than risk everyone here because I lose a shred of control over my abilities for five fucking seconds.â
Jin doesnât move. Doesnât breathe. Just stares at him with something that might be fear or awe or exhausted recognition.
A beat of silence snaps him into focus.
Yoongi realizes what heâs done.
The room isnât just coldâitâs temporally frozen. Not fully, but enough.
Every piece of equipment caught in a half-second loop, repeating the same microsecond of operation over and over.
The air itself feels thick, resistant to movement.
He exhales slowly, forces his control to release.
Reality snaps back. Equipment resumes its normal rhythm. Temperature stabilizes. The temporal weight lifts like someone opened a pressure valve.
Jinâs still staring.
âIâm fine,â Yoongi says, which is a lie and they both know it.
âThat wasââ
âNothing. Just a slip.â
âThat was your power spiking because youâre too unstable toââ
âI said Iâm fine.â
Yoongi reaches for the tubesâall of them at once.
His right hand moves precisely through the podâs internal access ports, touching the nasal cannula, the IV line, the monitoring cables.
His temporal control flows through the contact points.
The equipment doesnât just disconnectâit reverts.
Molecular structures scroll backward through their manufacturing process. Plastic becomes petroleum becomes ancient organic matter. Metal becomes ore becomes elemental composition.
The tubes dissolve in his grip, breaking down into component atoms. whilst the entire reinforced containment shell crumples backward through its own existence until the entire thing simply drops out of the present moment.
One blink ago, Yoongi was sealed inside a CHRONOS-grade stasis pod.
Now he is standing in open air on the lab floor, surrounded by a faint ring of evaporating pre-matter.
The pod is gone.
Four seconds of timeline manipulation applied to localized matter.
Jinâs mouth falls open. âHowââ
âPhysics.â
His headâs still pounding. The tingling under his skin has gotten worse from the power usage.
But he stands anyway, locks his knees, and glares at Jin with every ounce of authority heâs got left.
âAnd before you panic,â he mutters, breath tight as he takes one slow step back, âIâm putting it back.â
He lifts his hand and reality folds inward. Matter streams forward in time, reconstructing itself along its original manufacturing path, and in less than two seconds the entire pod reassembles exactly where it had beenâcompletely intact and spotless as if Jin had just finished building it five minutes ago.
Restored.
Rebuilt.
Empty.
So, in short, exactly how he needed it.
Jin just stares.
âIâm the one who taught you timeline theory, remember? Matter reversal is basic-level manipulation,â Yoongi sighs.
âThat was at least fifty kilograms of equipmentââ
âFifty-three point two.â Yoongi moves past the pod, toward the labâs main exit, each step measured despite how much effort it takes. âAnd I did it while experiencing active withdrawal symptoms. So maybe trust that I know what Iâm doing.â
âYoongiââ
âWeâre done here.â
He reaches the doorâthe one that separates Jinâs lab from the rest of HQ, the one with triple-encrypted locks that Jin installed himself because someone needs proper workspace security.
His handâs shaking slightly when it hits the panel, but the door opens anyway.
âGet some sleep, Jin. You look like shit.â
Then heâs out, moving through the corridor with purpose he doesnât quite feel, leaving Jin standing in his lab full of mysteriously refurbished equipment and probably about seven new data points about temporal manipulation under physiological stress.
And somewhere three levels up, you existâbreathing, moving, unaware that every pulse you spend not touching him makes the hollow spot in his chest sink deeper.
But heâs the leader.
So he walks away.
Something soft and impossibly warm ghosts across your cheek.
Your eyes openâslow blink, then faster processing as the image resolves into fur and faint glow and a creature that shouldn't exist outside theoretical discussions about metaphysical manifestation.
AÂ wolf.
Or the spirit of one, if your visual cortex isn't experiencing localized hallucination.
You sit up carefully, noting how the creature doesn't startle or retreat. Just watches you with eyes lit from within by a soft, translucent glow, head tilted in what your brain categorizes as curiosity.
The wolf nudges your arm with her muzzle.
A clear prompt. Invitation to interaction.
So you comply, extending your hand toward the ethereal furâand your analytical centers stutter when your fingers make contact with warmth. Actual thermal sensation despite the fact that your hand phases partially through the spirit's form, your skin rendered translucent against the soft light.
Fascinating.
The texture registers as realâsoft guard hairs over dense undercoat, the slight give of muscle beneathâeven though the physics of the interaction violate every principle of solid matter contact.
You continue petting the wolf while cataloging the contradiction between sensory input and visual evidence.
"She's always been very fond of you, you know."
Your head snaps up.
Hoseok leans against the column with arms crossed, smile warm enough to make the natural detachment of your analytical processes feel almost inadequate. Behind him, Jimin stands before a long mirror, fingers working through pink hair with devoted attention.
"The wolf," Hoseok clarifies, pushing off the wall to move closer. "Kali. You named her, actually. Timeline 289, I think? Maybe 290."
Your hand stills mid-stroke. "I named her."
"Mhm. Said she reminded you of the Hindu goddessâdestruction and creation, chaos and order." His expression softens further. "You've always had a thing for paradoxes."
Kaliâbecause apparently that's her designation nowâhuffs and butts her head against your palm with more insistence.
"Why is she doing the whole tragic heroine thing, sleeping through the best part of the day?"Jimin's voice carries from the mirror, pitched just loud enough to ensure you hear the commentary.
He tilts his head, examining his reflection thoroughly before reaching for something that looks like cosmetic enhancement.
"It's 1:39 AM," you observe. "Hardly qualifies as day by standard temporal measurements."
"It's 1:39 AM and you've been unconscious since 10 PM like some kind of hibernating mammal." Jimin applies whatever product he's holding with efficiency. "Meanwhile, we have exactly twenty-one minutes until the 25th hour starts and Jungkook will not shut the fuck up about you experiencing it properly with the full team."
"Define 'properly.'"
"Conscious would be a start." Jimin turns from the mirror, and his eyes find you with the kind of assessment usually reserved for threat evaluation. "Dressed would be better. Actually participating instead of sleeping through freedom like it's a fucking nap opportunity would be ideal."
You process this while noting how Hoseok's smile gains an edge of fond exasperation.
"Jimin wants you to enjoy the 25th hour," Hoseok translates. "It's the only hour where we get to exist without surveillance, without fear, without any of the bullshit that makes being an Outlier a constant exercise in survival."
"Jungkook, not me. I spent three hours putting together cold weather outfits for everyone because the temperature drops during the hour and I refuse to let anyone look like a gremlin on my watch." Jimin's tone carries the particular sharpness of someone who takes fashion very seriously. "Self-care is resistance, and I intend to look good while resisting."
"That's veryâ"
"Is that Hobi's shirt."
The question lands with enough force to make Kali's ears flatten.
You glance down at the oversized grey t-shirt you're wearing, then back up at Jimin's face, which has shifted into something dangerously focused.
"I... didn't verify ownership before selecting sleepwear," you say carefully. "The fabric composition suggested comfort optimization for rest periods."
"The fabric composition." Jimin repeats each word slowly "You're wearing my boyfriend's shirt because of fabric composition."
Your analytical centers flag this as problematic but can't quite parse why the clothing origin matters when the functional purpose remains unchanged.
"I can remove it if the ownership designation creates issueâ"
You reach for the hem, prepared to resolve the conflict through immediate action, and Jimin's hand shoots up in a gesture that carries enough threat to make your temporal signature spike.
"You take that off fully in front of me and I will tear a probability shard through your throat, miss girl."
You blink.
Process.
Recalibrate.
"Understood. Shirt remains on current wearer."
Hoseok moves before the tension can escalate further, closing the distance to wrap his arms around Jimin from behind. His mouth finds the curve of Jimin's neck in a manner that informs you this is most likely practiced de-escalation protocol.
âShe didnât know, Mochi,â Hoseok murmurs against pink hair as he stands behind him at the mirror. âDidnât mean anything by it.â
âI know she didnât mean anything, Fuyu.â Jiminâs voice carries residual irritation, but his shoulders relax fractionally into Hoseokâs embrace. âBecause she doesnât mean anything by most of what she does. Just processes the world like itâs a fucking equation.â
âI prefer equations to social ambiguity,â you offer. âMathematical frameworks provide clearer operational parameters.â
âSee?â Jimin gestures at you in the mirror while still pressed back against Hoseokâs chest. âIntellectually cunty even when sheâs barely awake.â
Hoseokâs quiet laugh vibrates through Jiminâs spine, his chin hooked over Jiminâs shoulder. He presses a kiss to the pink hair just above his temple, the movement small and unhurried.
Jiminâs gaze drops to the reflection of the black scarf looped loosely around Hoseokâs neck.
His hands move with purpose.
He twists in Hoseokâs arms, turning to face him, lower back still bracketed by Hoseokâs hands.
âGive me this,â he says, fingers already curling into the soft fabric at Hoseokâs throat.
Hoseok doesnât resist. If anything, his smile widens as Jimin slides the scarf up and over his head in one quick motion, then loops the scarf around his own neck instead, wrapping it twice, adjusting the drape until it sits just so. He smooths the ends down his chest with a little flourish, then turns his head toward you.
The look he gives you is difficult to forget.
A slow, pointed once-over, chin tilted, brows raised.
The scarf is his now. So is the man it smells like.
The territorial display is noted and cataloged alongside other observed behavioral patterns in their relationship dynamic.
Hoseok just huffs out a disbelieving laugh and steps in closer, arms coming up and around Jimin from the front this time. He hooks his hands behind Jiminâs shoulders, pulling him in until he rocks him gently side to side like itâs instinct.
âRidiculous,â he murmurs, but the word is soaked in affection
Jimin lets himself be rocked for exactly three seconds before his hands slide up to rest over Hoseokâs biceps, fingers curling there, keeping him in place.
âI want to see Agent Min.â
The sentence leaves your mouth before youâve fully decided to say it.
Both their heads snap toward you in syncâ58.2 degrees rotation, executed in 0.3 seconds. Hoseok turns with Jimin still in his arms, angling them so they face you together.
Jimin scoffs. âTrust me. We know.â
âItâs best if you donât see each other right now,â Hoseok says gently, though his arms stay locked around Jimin like heâs subconsciously preventing forward motion. âHeâs still recovering fromââ
âCellular withdrawal,â you interrupt. âJin explained the mechanism. I understand the complications.â
âUnderstanding complications and respecting medical boundaries are different skill sets,â Jimin mutters. âApparently you only got one.â
âMy presence could actually assist with symptomatic management,â you continue, applying logic like itâs a viable weapon against their objections. âSmall doses of contact reduce acute withdrawal stress. Prolonged separation increases cascade risk. The mathematical optimization clearly favors controlled exposure over complete avoidance.â
Jimin stares at you.
âDid you justââ He cuts himself off, groaning, and drops his face into Hoseokâs shoulder like heâs trying to suffocate himself on purpose. âNope. Iâm out. I refuse to be awake for this level of intellectual cunt energy. I need a fucking ziller before I commit an actual crime.â
He peels himself out of Hoseokâs armsâhands sliding down Hoseokâs forearms, a little squeeze at his wrists before he steps away. Then crosses to the dresser with brisk, efficient strides, yanking open the decorative case on top like it personally offended him.
He plucks out a golden crystalline stick, twirls it once between his fingers, then slides it between his teeth with the ease of established habit. Quick inhale, crystal tip flaring faintly.
âOkay.â He exhales, shoulders loosening a fraction. âHereâs whatâs gonna happen, miss girl.â
He points the ziller at you like a tiny, glittering weapon.
âGet dressed. I put an outfit on the chair. I might not like you, but youâre not going out there in my boyfriendâs shirt and those prison-ass pants. You look like youâve given up on life.â
âI was sleeping,â you say. âFashion optimization seemed unnecessary for unconscious states.â
âEverything requires fashion optimization,â he snaps back immediately. âBreathing requires fashion optimization.â
He takes another pull from the ziller, then turns toward Hoseok, energy shifting softer on contact. The corner of his mouth lifts.
âFuyu, Iâll see you there,â he says, voice dropping into something disgustingly fond. Free hand lifts, blowing Hoseok a quick kiss like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
Hoseok catches it with exaggerated seriousness, pressing his palm to his chest. âIâll be right behind you, baby.â
âYou better,â Jimin mutters, but his eyes are warm.
He heads for the door, already half checked out of the conversation. At the threshold, he pauses, glancing back at you with a look thatâs all sharp edges and zero patience.
âFifteen minutes,â he says. âDonât make me come back up here and personally drag your statistically overactive brain to the lounge.â
Then heâs gone, footsteps fading down the corridor.
Youâre left sitting on the bed with Kaliâs spirit form still pressed against your side and Hoseokâs fond smile making the space feel warmer.
"He really does mean well," Hoseok says gently. "In his own... very Jimin way."
"His method of communication lacks standard diplomatic protocols," you observe while moving toward the chair where clothing has been arranged with obvious care.
Dark tactical jacket. Thermal underlayers. Pants that actually fit proper proportions rather than the generic sizing you'd selected earlier. Everything coordinated in a way that suggests both aesthetic consideration and functional purpose.
"Yeah, well. Jimin's relationship with you is complicated." Hoseok settles back against the column, watching you examine the outfit. "But he wouldn't have spent three hours making sure you'd be comfortable and warm if he didn't care on some level."
You process this while noting the contradiction between Jimin's verbal hostility and his behavioral investment in your wellbeing.
When you lift the jacket, something rattles in the right pocket.
Your fingers find smooth crystalline shapesâzillers, you recognize now. Multiple varieties based on tactile assessment. The left pocket yields small tablets that your limited pharmacological knowledge categorizes as likely recreational substances.
Jimin prepared these for you. Provided options for whatever experience you might want during the 25th hour despite his stated dislike of your presence.
You examine the golden zillerâthe same type Jimin just tookâand the analytical part of your brain that never quite shuts down begins calculating the metabolic effects of crystallized temporal compounds on neural chemistry.
But underneath that clinical assessment, something softer recognizes the gesture for what it actually represents.
Care, however reluctantly given.
"I should dress," you say finally, setting the jacket aside to reach for the thermal layers.
Kali stands, stretches, then dissolves into dust-like particles that drift toward the ceiling like inverse snow.
"She'll be around during the hour," Hoseok explains, moving off the wall. "All our Kairos get stronger when time stops. More solid, more responsive. You'll probably see her hunting with her pack."
"She has a pack?"
"Three others. You named them too, butâ" He catches himself, smile turning slightly sad. "That's probably information overload territory. We can cover it during the hour if you want."
You nod, appreciating the boundary even as curiosity demands more data.
Hoseok moves toward the door, pausing in the same spot Jimin occupied moments before.
"Take your time getting ready. We've got eighteen minutes still." His expression warms again. "And try not to let Jimin's sass get to you. He's just protective of what little freedom we get. Wants everything to be perfect."
"Including outfit coordination."
"Especially outfit coordination." Hoseok's laugh follows him into the hallway. "See you in a few."
You're left alone with expensive clothing and recreational substances and the lingering warmth where a spirit wolf pressed against your side.
The thermal layers slide on without resistance. The pants fit better than anything you've worn in recent memory. The jacket settles across your shoulders with the perfect weight distribution.
And in the pockets, Jimin's reluctant care rattles with each movement like a secret he'd deny if confronted.
Your Chrono-Sync Watch vibrates twice against your wristâthe neural interface activating automatically.
You don't check it immediately. Too focused on securing the jacket's closure, ensuring the zillers in your pocket won't rattle during movement. The vibration pattern suggests group communication rather than individual message, but your attention remains on practical preparation.
Another vibration. More insistent.
Finally, you let your consciousness connect to the neural interfaceâthought-based navigation requiring no physical interaction with the device. The screen materializes in your visual cortex, transparent overlay across your normal perception.
[Resistance Comms Channel:Â #main_ops]
[JUNGKOOK]:Â >[VIDEO ATTACHED: 0:08s]
The footage loadsâhim in what appears to be the common area, grinning at the camera with manic energy while pouring RedSurge into a glass already containing something that glows faintly blue. Neon Rift, your limited pharmacological knowledge supplies. Then he adds crystalline powderâSparks based on the effervescent reaction.
âWatch me create enlightenment in liquid form.â He changes to frontal camera, lifting his eyebrows. âThis is either genius or a really entertaining way to die.â
The video cuts off.
[JIN]:Â >[IMAGE ATTACHED]
A blurry imageâmotion-captured chaos showing Taehyung's black-clad form chasing Jungkook through the common area, furniture knocked aside.
Something in your chest tightens at the condescension embedded in those four words. The particular toneânot quite mockery, not quite affection, but something that makes your pulse accelerate in ways you can't quantify.
Silence for exactly four seconds while something warm and sharp floods your awarenessâsurprise, recognition, want so intense it makes your core temperature spike.
The finality in his last message is not bizarreâyouâve seen how Agent Min behaves when leadership commandsâbut it still spurs a wave of warmth through you.
The chat dissolves from your visual cortex, but phantom sensations lingerâborrowed arousal mixing with your own, heat building in places you're learning to recognize as significant.
You move toward the door, Jimin's carefully selected outfit settling against your skin with warmth that doesn't quite account for the temperature climbing in your chest.
The corridor awaits.
And somewhere in this facility, so does Min.
Upon entry, it is unmistakable, the particular tang that coats chemical enhancers.
You step through the doorway, tactical boots making zero sound on the plush carpetâstandard stealth protocol that feels less like training and more like muscle memory.
Kali materializes in front of you immediatelyâthe spirit wolf pressing her muzzle against your palm in greeting. But when your fingers pass through her fur, there's barely any resistance. Translucent. Ethereal.
Not like before.
When your eyes flick up, the room is a chaotic intersection of personalities.
A massive bearâtranslucent and shimmering with pale lightâsprawls across the rug like cargo transport. Itâs huge, easily two and a half meters wide and four meters long, taking up a significant portion of the common area.
And on top of it, stretched out belly-down with his full weight, is Jimin.
Heâs no longing wearing the black scarf he stole from his boyfriend, but rather, it sits on the bearâs chest. Youâd wager itâs because of the thermal waves oozing off the animal. A fascinating concept, truly.
His arms are spread wide, one draped over his head, the other dangling off the bearâs side. His legs are splayed out, face pressed into the creatureâs fur, eyes closed in what looks like genuine bliss. The translucent glow of the bear makes Jimin look like heâs floating on liquid light.
Hoseok sits beside him on the massive form, one hand braced behind him for support, the other slipped under Jiminâs shirtâslow, soothing circles rubbing along his spine.
Namjoon sits in the armchair, one hand typing on the laptop, rubbing his temples with the other. There's a large birdâan eagle, translucent like the bear but less solidâperched on the back of his chair, watching the room with sharp, glowing eyes.
Jin is at the kitchenette, staring at the coffee machine like he's trying to intimidate it into brewing faster.
Jungkook is vibrating. Literally. He's upside down on the recliner, legs over the headrest, eyes blown wide, seemingly having a silent, telepathic screaming match with Taehyung, who is leaning against the far wall, staring right back at him with the long-suffering expression of a man managing a toddler on a sugar high.
And then there's Agent Min.
Yoongi.
Heâs standing by the reinforced windowâas far from the center of the room as structurally possible without exiting it. Back rigid. Shoulders set.
Your brain processes stutter against the sight.
AÂ window?
Underground?
The actual world beyond it should be nothing but blacknessâyouâre subsurface, embedded in a temporal pocket with no physical access to the surface.
And yet⌠thereâs a reflection. A ghosted image of whatâs happening aboveground, projected not onto the window but across itâstitched into the pocketâs boundary field, probably, showing real-time activity topside.
A psychological stabilizer, so that even buried underground inside a temporal blind spot, the facility doesnât feel like a sealed tomb.
Black leather, tight fit, covering every millimeter of skin that might accidentally brush against yours.
Your analytical centers catalog the barrier immediately. Defensive measure. Physical firewall.
You scan the room for optimal positioning.
Your eyes land on the large, deep black velvet sectional just beyond where Hoseok and Jimin are sprawled.
It pulls at you.
Not logicallyâit's just furniture, foam and fabric stretched over a wooden frameâbut your body orients toward it with magnetic inevitability. There's a gravitational well centering on that specific cushion arrangement. A phantom data set suggesting that this location offers optimal comfort, tactical visibility, and⌠something else.
Something visceral.
You start walking toward it, Kali padding alongside you with barely-there paws.
Yoongi turns from the window. His eyes track your movement, land on your trajectory, and for exactly 0.4 seconds, his expression fractures.
He takes a step away from the seating area, pressing himself closer to the cold glass of the window, jaw tight.
"You're here," Jimin says without opening his eyes, voice muffled against the bear's translucent fur. "And you're actually dressed. Miracles happen."
You pause near the massive bear, noting how your hand passes through Kali with minimal sensation but the bear in front of you looks... denser. More present.
"Why is this one more solid?" you ask.
Hoseok glances down at you with a soft smile. "Focusing my power. Dubu needs to be comfortable for Mochi."
"Dubu?"
"The bear," Jimin mumbles, still face-down. "I named him. Very soft. Very good."
You reach out, tentative, and touch the bear's flank.
Your hand meets resistance. Not full solidity, but enough to feel the texture of fur, the warmth of a living creature, even though you can see right through it.
"Oh," you say. "You're using all your manifestation energy on one construct."
"For maximum cuddle efficiency," Jimin confirms, sighing contentedly.
Jimin's eyes snap open just enough to glare. Then, in clear retaliation, he burrows deeper into the bear's fur, nuzzling down with exaggerated pressure, spreading his weight even more.
"Suffer then."
Hoseok laughsâquiet and fondâbefore shifting to lie down beside Jimin on top of Dubu, wrapping an arm around his waist and tangling their legs together. The bear doesn't even shift under the combined weight, just continues its steady, ethereal breathing.
"You're really ridiculous," Hoseok murmurs against Jimin's hair.
You continue toward the couch, noting the way the translucent eagle ruffles its feathers from Namjoon's chair.
âThatâs Ruckus,â Jungkook calls out from the recliner. âNamed him myself. Cool, right?â
âAerodynamically incongruent,â you say. âBut thematically accurate.â
Jungkook gasps, offended. âWow. Okay. Taehyung, tell her itâs a cool name.â
âItâs a terrible name,â Taehyung says from the wall without breaking stare.
Jungkook immediately twists around to argue, already halfway into a rant about branding and emotional impact.
You let the debate pull his attention away as you reach into the pocket of the jacket Jimin selected. Your fingers brush against the crystalline sticks.
"Ten minutes to the hour," Jimin says without moving from his position on Dubu. "If you're dosing, do it now. Shit hits better when the chemicals are already working before time stops."
You pull out the gold zillerâthin metallic rod, crystalline tip catching the ambient light.
You bring it to your lips, placing it horizontally between them like you've seen others do. Press your tongue to the crystals experimentally.
Nothing happens.
You wait three seconds. Still nothing.
Jimin makes a pained soundâsomewhere between a groan and a sigh.
He props himself up on one elbow, squinting at you. "Oh my god. No. Stop."
You look at him. "The activation mechanism appears nonfunctional."
"The activation mechanism is fine. Your technique is shit." He clicks his tongue, gesturing you closer with one hand while the other remains buried in Dubu's fur. "Come here. I can't watch you fumble with that like a reptile."
You approach, and Jimin fishes his own gold ziller from his pocket without fully sitting up.
"Look. Between the teeth, not just resting on your tongue. You need friction and heat. Suck air through your mouthâgently, don't be a vacuumâso the crystal heats up faster. Then it dissolves right."
He demonstrates, sliding the ziller between his molars, lips closed around it. He inhales through his mouth with a sharp pull, and the crystal tip glows faintly.
Pulls it out to speak. "Like that. Not whatever the fuck you were doing."
You adjust your grip, slide the ziller between your left molars.
The fit feels... correct.
Your jaw knows exactly how much pressure to apply. Your tongue curls around the hexagonal rod without conscious thought, positioning it at the precise angle for optimal heat transfer.
You inhale sharply through your mouth.
The crystal warms instantly, flooding your oral cavity with a taste that isn't quite flavorâstatic electricity and champagne and something metallic that makes your temporal awareness spike.
"Better," Jimin says, watching you with narrowed eyes. Then his expression shifts. "And there it is. Left molars."
You pause mid-inhale. "Is that significant?"
"You always do that." He takes another hit from his own ziller. "Every single time. Left side. Exact same placement."
"Comfort optimization," you say around the rod, the buzz already starting to hum at the base of your skull.
"Sure." Jimin's smile is sharp before he settles back down onto Dubu, dismissing you with a lazy wave. "Comfort."
You turn toward the couch, running your hand over the black velvet as you approach.
Then at Yoongi, who is watching you with his arms crossed, hands tucked securely into his armpits as if even the gloves aren't safety enough.
He's looking at the ziller in your mouth. Then at the couch. Then at the floor.
His thermal signature is rising again.
"Agent Min," you say, holding the ziller between your fingers "Why are you maintaining maximum distance from the primary seating area?"
Yoongi doesn't look up. "Good vantage point."
"Incorrect. The couch offers superior sightlines to both entry points." You gesture to the velvet cushions. "Also, ergonomic support is superior to the wall."
"I'm fine where I am."
"You're rubbing your neck," you observe. "Sign of tension. The couch would alleviateâ"
"I'm not sitting on the couch, Noma."
The rejection is sharp. Too sharp for a discussion about furniture.
You pause, processing the data.
The gravitational pull you feel toward the velvet.
His active avoidance of the same object.
The way his eyes darkened when you stepped toward it.
The specific angle of the cushions.
The memory doesn't arrive as visual data, it arrives as sound.
A phantom acoustic signature that bypasses your temporal lobe entirely, vibrating through bone memory instead.
ÂŤCreak-whine-creak.
Polymer frame stress. Velvet upholstery compression. Rhythmic oscillation frequency: 2.3 cycles per second
Creak-whine-creak.Âť
Your analytical mind tries to place the sound patternâstructural engineering, weight distribution algorithmsâbut your body recognizes it before the calculation completes.
The couch.
That couch.
ÂŤThud.
Your thighs pressed flat against your belly. Knees somewhere near your ears. The pressure of broad palmsâbare palmsâon the backs of your knees, folding you, holding you open whileâ
Everything tastes like mintâhis mouth, his skin, the air between you both. It overwhelms your sensory processing, threatens to short-circuit every analytical center in your brain.
His hips drive forward and the wetness makes that soundâthe slick, obscene whisper of skin on skin, the soft schlick of him moving through you. Your body takes him completely, and the stretch is perfect, is necessary, isâ
A whimper escapes your throat.
He enjoys that, from the way his fingers tighten on your knees and golden sparks bloom where his fingertips touch. They dance across your thighs like fireflies, warm and electric and pleasure hits so sharply your climax nearly jumps the queue.
The couch creaks againâa quick, intense pattern now, synced to his thrusts. In, out, deep, deeper. Your breath comes in fractured gasps that aren't quite moans. His breathing mirrors yoursâragged, controlled, fighting for precision even as his control fractures.
Wet noises.
Youâre generating enough arousal that the auditory signature becomes undeniable. That sticky, obscene sound of saturation coating both of you, dripping onto the velvet beneath. His chest presses against yours and the friction builds, builds, buildsâ
A soft kiss to your collarbone. His mouth opens against your skin and he breathes your name like it's the only word that matters.Âť
The memory fragments, collapses back into static.
You're standing in the common area, ziller buzzing against your molars, and the only sound is your own breathingâtoo fast, matching a rhythm that doesn't exist in this timeline.
Your thighs are pressed together.
Not because you commanded them to.
Because they remember being folded against your belly while heâ
"Oh," you say.
The room goes quiet. Even Jungkook stops vibrating. Hoseok pauses mid-movement, hand stilling on Jimin's back.
You look at Yoongi.
He's staring at you, eyes wide, like he knows exactly what calculation just finished running in your head and he's desperately trying to telepathically will you not to say it.
"Is it because we've had sex on it?"
Yoongi chokes.
It's a violent, visceral soundâhe inhales his own saliva, coughs, doubles over, and hacks like his lungs are trying to escape his chest.
"Oh my god," Jimin groans into Dubu's fur, voice muffled. "Why. Why do I have ears?"
Hoseok slaps his own thigh, letting out a bark of laughter. Dubu's form ripples with the vibration of Hoseok's amusement.
Namjoon bites his lip, looking down at the screen with intense, shaking concentration, shoulders trembling.
Jin sighs, a long, weary sound from the kitchenette. "Every timeline. Every timeline it's the black couch. I should have burned it."
"I knew it!" Jungkook gasps, righting himself on the recliner. "Tae, I told you! I told you that stain wasn't coffee!"
"That stain was coffee," Yoongi rasps between coughs, glaring at Jungkook with watering eyes. "I revert the couch back every single time. It's pristine."
Taehyung, still leaning with one knee bent at the wall, just closes his eyes and leans his head back. "Please stop talking."
Yoongi is still coughing, one hand braced against the wall, face flushing a dark, mortified red. He waves a gloved hand in the airâa gesture that could mean âstopâ, âhelpâ, or âI'm going to kill all of youâ.
"Was that inaccurate?" you ask, genuinely confused by the chaotic reaction. "The physiological response suggests accuracy."
"It was very accurate," Jimin moans, still face-down on Dubu. "That's the problem. Nobody wants to visualize the mechanics of... that."
"Why?" You tilt your head, the ziller clicking against your teeth. "Copulation is a normalized biological function. And given the statistical probability of our interaction across seventeen timelines, the likelihood of sexual activity occurring in common areas isâ"
"Noma," Yoongi wheezes, voice strangled. "Stop."
"I'm merely establishing the data points."
"You're establishing my migraine," Yoongi rasps, straightening up. He rubs his throat with his gloved hand, eyes watering. He still refuses to look at the couch. "We are not discussing sexual history in the debriefing area."
"It's a lounge," you correct. "And if the location triggers avoidance behaviors due to previous intimate activities, perhaps we should relocate to a neutral zone."
"There are no neutral zones," Jin calls out helpfully. "You two have christened every surface in this facility at least twice."
Yoongi glares at Jin with lethal intensity. "Seokjin."
"Hey, just speaking the truth," Jin says, finally pouring his coffee. "And the truth is, we need a new couch. Even if you time-scrub it."
"I like the couch," you say, running a hand over the velvet armrest. "The texture provides positive tactile feedback."
Yoongi makes a strangled noise in his throat and turns fully toward the window, pinching the bridge of his nose, shoulders hunched.
"Three minutes to the hour," Namjoon announces, voice steady despite the amusement dancing in his eyes. "Dose up, everyone."
Jungkook scrambles off the recliner, popping a ziller into his mouth with none of Jimin's finesse. "Tae, interface with me. I wanna see if I can loop the buzz."
Taehyung sighs loudly, looking at Jungkook with a mix of exhaustion and fondness. "If you vomit in my mind again, I'm disconnecting you."
"It was one time!"
"It was in color, Jungkook."
You look back at Yoongi. He's still facing the window, but you can see his reflection in the glass. He's watching you.
You slide the ziller to the other side of your mouth, biting down gently.
"So," you say, voice dropping to a lower register that cuts through the team's chatter. "Just how often was it? Percentage-wise?"
Yoongi's shoulders tense. In the reflection, his eyes meet yours.
Dark.
Hungry.
Terrified.
"Don't ask questions you're not ready to remember the answers to," he says, voice low and rough.
"I'm ready for data."
He turns around slowly. The gloves flex as he clenches his fists.
"It wasn't data," he says, and the raw honesty in his tone silences the room again. "It was inevitable."
The ziller buzzes harder against your tongue, or maybe that's just your blood singing.
"Inevitable," you repeat.
"Every time," he confirms. "No matter how hard I try to stop it."
"Okay!" Jimin claps his hands loudly without lifting his head from Dubu. "That's enough! The tension is literally making my skin break out. Everyone shut up. The clock is ticking."
You check your Chrono-Sync Watch.
1:59:55.
1:59:56.
1:59:57.
1:59:58.
1:59:59.
The tick of the second hand never hits the hour mark, but realityâŚÂ exhales.
All the sounds cease immediately. The air pressure in the room drops too, and suddenly, the space feels dense, thick with the awareness of Kairos.
Kali solidifies instantlyâfur shifting from ghostly transparency to dense, touchable reality. She throws her head back and howls, a sound that you feel in your chest rather than hear with your ears. Three other wolves materialize fully around her, shaking themselves out like they've just woken from deep sleep.
Dubu remains exactly as he wasâstill translucent, still massive, still supporting both Jimin and Hoseok's combined weight with steady, ethereal breathing.
The eagle's wings snap out with sudden force, feathers becoming solid and real. The powerful downstroke catches Namjoon square in the back of the head.
"Ow!" Namjoon jerks forward, hand flying to his skull. "Ruckusâcareful, you're real now!"
The eagle screechesâtriumphant, excitedâand does a victory loop around Namjoon's chair.
"Sorry!" Hoseok calls out, wincing. "He gets excited when the hour hits!"
"Well, reign him in or I'll swat at him," Namjoon grumbles, rubbing his head. "I'm working."
"So stop working?" Jimin suggests from his position on Dubu, voice lazy. "It's the 25th hour."
"Some of us take operational security seriouslyâ"
"Oi, you wanna hurt me?" Hoseok interrupts, sitting up slightly on Dubu. "Go ahead. Swat him. See what happens."
Namjoon pauses, hand still raised, then slowly lowers it. "Point taken."
"That's what I thought." Hoseok settles back down, arm draped over Jimin.
Jungkook lets out a whoop of pure, unadulterated joy.
"Finally!"
He pushes off the recliner, and six brilliant constructs of pure white light erupt from his shouldersânot quite wings, more like liquid ribbons that can shift and morph at will. He spins, and the light follows his movement like silk in water.
He sends a playful ribbon of light toward Taehyung.
Taehyung sighs, but it's affectionate. He raises a hand, and his void tendrils uncoil from the shadowsâblack, dense, light-absorbing. They catch Jungkook's ribbon with effortless precision, the darkness swallowing the brightness into something that looks like a miniature galaxy.
"Stop trying to blind me," Taehyung says, but he's smiling. Actually smiling.
"Stop being so slow!" Jungkook laughs, darting around the room, constructs rippling through.
Jimin shifts on Dubu, and crystal shards begin to materialize around himâsharp, glittering fragments that orbit lazily, catching and reflecting Jungkook's light show.
"God," Jimin breathes, the tension finally draining from his shoulders. "Silence. Actual, blessed silence."
Namjoon remains focused on whatever crucial information has caught his attention, geometrical blue swirls forming patterns around him.
Jin is already at the kitchenette. Silver-white electricity patternsâhis Kairosâdance along the countertops and up the walls, occasionally flickering with colored sparks that look suspiciously like fragmented memories given form.
He's making coffee, because apparently even when time stops, caffeine remains essential.
You look around, fascinated.
The world outside the window is frozenâbirds caught in mid-flight, traffic suspended in motionless streams of red and white lights.
But inside, everything is vibrant, alive, and moving.
It's chaos.
It's beautiful.
Your gaze finds Yoongi.
He hasn't moved from the window, but the tension in his frame has eased fractionally. The gloves are still on, but he's no longer gripping his own arms.
Instead, he's focused on his right hand.
Hovering above his palm is a small, perfect sphere of golden temporal energy. It rotates slowly, defying gravity. Tiny, delicate tendrilsâmicroscopic compared to the ones you saw in the caveâspiral out from it, weaving complex patterns in the air.
He's constructing something. Or maybe just playing.
It looks like clockwork made of light. Gears turning within gears, slipping through dimensions you can't quite perceive.
He catches you watching.
For a moment, he doesn't look away. The golden light from his Kairos reflects in his dark eyes, making them burn.
He flicks a finger, and the little golden sphere drifts toward you.
It floats across the room, passing through Jungkook's morphing light ribbons and dodging a playful snap from one of Hoseok's wolves. It stops right in front of your face.
You reach out, hesitant.
The sphere dissolves into a shower of golden sparks that feel like warm rain against your skin.
"Showy," you murmur, but you're smiling.
Yoongi's mouth quirks up at the corner. Just a fraction. A micro-expression of amusement that feels like a victory.
"Technique," he mouths back.
Something in your chest respondsâautomatic, involuntary.
Two crystalline golden tendrils spiral out from your shoulders without conscious thought, counter-clockwise rotation making them distinctly different from Yoongi's clockwise temporal threads.
They feel solid, heavy in a good way, like extra limbs you've always meant to have.
You stare at them, startled.
Jin glances over from the kitchenette, a soft smile crossing his face. "Still comes naturally to you."
"I didn'tâ"
"Happens every time." He pours coffee into a second mug, sliding it across the counter. "Your Kairos can actually grab things. Spatial manipulation, remember?"
You look at your crystalline tendrils, then at the mug.
One reaches outâsmooth, instinctiveâand wraps around the ceramic. Lifts it. Brings it to you without spilling a drop.
"Nice," Namjoon says, then jerks forward as Ruckus dive-bombs past his head. "Seriously?"
"He's celebrating," Hoseok calls out, grinning. "Can't help it."
"Control your bird or I'm launching him out the window."
"You mean that sardonically," Hoseok counters, scratching behind Kali's ears, whoâs now atop Dubu as well. The wolf's tail wags, solid and real. "I donât want to feel free fall, thanks."
Namjoon deadpans. "Right."
"Mhm." Hoseok's grin widens. "So maybe don't threaten my eagle."
"Intention matters anyway," Jin says, electricity crackling along his fingertips as he picks up his own mug. "With Kairos, I mean."
"Oh, like this!" Jungkook drops from where he's been floating near the ceiling, grinning.
Before anyone can respond, he lashes one of his morphing light ribbons straight through Taehyung's chest.
The light passes through completely.
Taehyung doesn't flinch. Just turns his head slowly, expression flat. "Really."
"See?" Jungkook withdraws the construct, bouncing on his feet. "No damage. I wasn't trying to hurt him, so nothing happens."
"That's why you don't fuck around," Jimin adds from his position on Dubu, eyes still closed. His crystal shards spin a little faster, glittering. "Kairos are sensitive as hell. Someone touches yours wrong? You're gonna feel it."
"Exactly," Taehyung says, giving Jungkook a pointed look. "They're part of your nervous system. Touch them with bad intent and it's not just annoyingâit hurts."
Jungkook has the decency to look slightly sheepish. "I know, I know. I was being careful."
"You were being reckless," Taehyung corrects, but there's no real heat in it.
Everyone seems a lot more free than what you are used to seeing.
Jungkook floats back up to the ceiling, morphing his light ribbons into increasingly wild shapes. Taehyung's void tendrils create dark spirals that swallow the brightness. Jimin's crystal shards catch the light, throwing rainbow refractions across the walls. Jin's electricity dances along every metal surface. Namjoon's geometric constructs hover around him like a protective cage of data.
Hoseok's wolves prowl, Ruckus circles overhead with victorious screeches, and Dubu breathes steadily beneath Jimin and Hoseok's combined weight.
And Yoongi...
Yoongi is watching you, golden temporal threads weaving impossible patterns in the air around his gloved hands.
You understand now why Jimin called it freedom.
Untilâ
Namjoon's typing stops.
The silence that follows isn't the comfortable silence of the 25th hour.
It's heavy.
Namjoon's geometric constructs freeze in mid-air, turning from soft blue to alert red.
"Guys."
The single word snaps the atmosphere.
Jungkook drops from mid-air, landing on his feet. His light ribbons vanish instantly.
Taehyung turns, void tendrils retracting into tight defensive coils.
Hoseok sits up, extricating himself from Jimin. The wolves move to flank him, suddenly alert.
Yoongi closes his hand, extinguishing the golden clockwork instantly. He steps away from the window, moving toward the center of the room.
Jin sets his coffee down, electricity patterns flickering with agitation.
You lower your own mug, ziller buzzing between your fingers.
Namjoon turns the laptop around. His face is grim, illuminated by the harsh red glow of the screen.
"We have a problem."
He looks at Yoongi, then at you, then encompasses the whole room with a gaze that carries the weight of negative news.
"Safe House 4 just went dark. CHRONOS raid," Namjoon mutters.
"Who was in House 4?" Hoseok asks, voice tight. Kali presses against your leg.
Namjoon hesitates.
"The new recruits," he says quietly. "And the supply cache for the next reset."
Yoongi's gloved hands curl into fists at his sides.
"Status?"
"Unknown," Namjoon says. "But the signal cut mid-transmission. Which means they didn't just find it."
He looks up, eyes crinkled with worry.
"They knew exactly where to look."
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! âĄ'シá´ď˝Ľ'âĄ
SUMMARY ⌠when you steal something that isnât yours, you inherit the danger that comes with it.
NOTES/WARNINGS ⌠slowburn. enemies2lovers. gang!au implied crime. explicit language. cigarette use. reader does get pushed around a bit. HEAVY sexual tension. reader digs herself a deep DEEP hole. if I missed anything let me know <3
most of the city hums at this hourâtraffic rolling slow down the streets, neon signs buzzing, sirens wailing somewhere in the distance. but here, in this small, old building with its smashed window and tape peeling at the edges, thereâs nothing but the low hum of the overhead light and the faint scent of detergent clinging to the air.
youâre closing alone tonight. the ajumma is still sick, her nephew still out of town, leaving you to handle the last few receipts, turn the sign, and lock up.
your fingers move automatically, counting the cash in the register, sorting the bills into neat stacks like you always do. the old cameras in the corner are still broken, the lens covered in a thin layer of dust.
you hesitate. outside, another set of sirens cuts through the air, sharp and quick, before fading into the distance. your fingers twitch.
itâs not much. just a little extra, just enough to cover groceries, maybe a bus fare or two, just something to make the week less suffocating. the cash feels thin between your fingers, and you take it. you slip the bills into your pocket, smooth the rest of the stack, close the register like nothing happened.
then you turn off the lights, flip the sign to closed, and step outside.
the night air is sharp, colder than you expected. the dry cleanerâs door creaks as you pull it shut, the lock stiff under your fingers. you donât linger.
your pockets feel heavier than they should, the stolen cash a quiet weight against your leg.
the extra money seoyun gave you is already gone. spent on a new phone, something cheap that works. the screen glows faintly in your palm as you check the time, the edges still too smooth, too unfamiliar.
you walk quickly, keeping your head down, weaving through empty sidewalks and flickering streetlights.
the train station isnât far. the platform is half-empty when you get there, just a few scattered figures waiting, some slouched on benches, others standing close to the edge, watching the dark tracks below.
you step up to the machine, fingers cold as you push the stolen bills into the slot. the machine hums, prints out your ticket, and then spits out a few coins in change. you take it all, slip it into your pocket, and step back.
the overhead speakers crackle, an announcement cutting through the static. your train is coming.
you exhale, shoulders tense, watching as headlights flicker in the distance, cutting through the dark. you sit down on the edge of the bench, phone dim against your palm. the train rumbles somewhere in the distance, the sound of steel against steel dragging closer.
you open your messages. jungkookâs name sits at the top of the thread, bright and familiar. unread texts. missed calls. you scroll up, scanning through his usual worriesâare you eating, are you safe, call me when you get off work. the last message is shorter.
take care.
you stare at it for a moment longer than you mean to, thumb hovering above the screen. then you tap the heart. not a real answer, not even close, but itâs all youâve got in you.
you scroll back down, swipe to the next thread. the ajummaâs nephew. the contact is just saved as granny leeâs kid, from when you didnât know his name and never bothered to change it. you havenât messaged him since he left town.
you hesitate, thumb resting over the keyboard, then you type.
shopâs closed. no trouble. registerâs fine.
you send it before you can second-guess, then lock the screen and slip the phone back into your pocket.
the cold settles into your clothes, biting at your hands and neck. the train screeches into the station a moment later, lights blinding as it rolls past, slowing to a stop. you stand, ticket in hand, and step forward.
no one looks at you. no one stops you.
you board, you sit, and you try not to think about the weight in your pocket, or the way you didnât flinch when you took it.
you donât look like someone who just stole. you donât look like someone who lies. you just look tired.
the doors close. the train jerks forward, and you lean your head against the window and watch the dark blur past.
you try to catch up on the sleep youâve missed, head against the cool window and your arms folded tight across your chest. your eyes fall closed more than once, heavy, but they never stay that way. every time you start to drift, something pulls you back. a sharp screech of brakes, the conductorâs voice over the intercom, the sound of someone coughing too close. your body stays tense, even as your mind begs for rest.
the train slows again, jerking just enough to make your stomach twist. you open your eyes, blinking hard as the overhead lights buzz back into focus.
your stop.
you stand, legs stiff from sitting too long, and step off the train. the platform here is busierâtoo bright, too loud, too many people. you have to side-step quickly to avoid colliding with a man dragging a suitcase behind him, then again to avoid a group of teenagers laughing too loud as they pass.
you keep your head down, weaving through the crowd, the weight of the day clinging to your shoulders like damp cloth. youâre not far from home now. the walk from the train station to your apartment is short. maybe ten minutes. fifteen if you drag your feet. tonight, you donât.
you pull your hood over your head, the fabric soft against your ears, muffling the sounds of the city. your hands disappear into your pockets, fingers curling tight around loose change and the edges of your phone, and your boots scuff against the pavement.
you pass the same shuttered corner store, the same rusted bike chained to the same bent signpost. a cat darts across the street up ahead, slipping into the shadows before you catch more than a flick of its tail. the air smells like cold metal and someoneâs burned-out dinner.
you climb the steps, fingers numb as you reach into your pocket for your keys, but when you reach your door, you freeze. the handle is slightly turned, not latched. your key stops just short of the lock.
the door is already unlocked.
your stomach twists, throat tightening around the sudden rush of panic. you step back without thinking, heart in your mouth, listening. but thereâs nothing. no footsteps. no voices. just the soft hum of your fridge through the wall, the creak of the building settling under the weight of winter air.
your hand closes around the knob and you push the door open, slow.
the first thing you see is the flicker of soft yellow light from the overhead fixture. then the cheap bowl from the corner store, full of something steaming, resting in the center of your table.
and across from it, seated like sheâs always belonged there, is seoyun. she smiles, wide and easy.
âthere you are,â she says, folding her hands neatly on the table. âi made dinner.â
you donât move, donât speak, and seoyun just keeps smiling.
âyou were late home today,â she says.
your fingers tighten around the edge of the door. you step inside slowly, shutting it behind you without taking your eyes off her.
âiâm taking a new route home,â you say. your voice sounds steadier than you expect, but thereâs a tremor in your hands you canât quite hide. âavoiding the minibuses.â
seoyun hums at that. she reaches for the bowl and gives it a small stir with the spoon she took from your drawer. âsmart girl.â
you donât sit. youâre still trying to understand how she got in, still trying to decide what this is. whether itâs a warning or a test. whether itâs something worse.
âhope you like soup,â she says, gently. âi didnât have much to work with.â
your stomach turns. you donât think itâs about the soup.
before you can answerâbefore you can lie, or run, or throw the soup straight off the tableâyou hear movement. a creak in the floorboards, then footsteps, coming from the hallway. your hallway. you turn just as he appears.
the man from the bathhouse, and the alley, and the counter.
he rounds the corner like heâs done it a hundred times before, shoulders relaxed, hands wiping something off on the leg of his jeans. water, maybe. seems heâs just washed his hands. you donât want to know what he was trying to clean off.
he doesnât look surprised to see you. you, on the other hand, feel like the floorâs tilting beneath your feet.
he glances at seoyun, then at you, and his expression doesnât shift. âyou didnât tell her yet?â he asks, voice low. seoyun gives a tight smile, folding her hands back in her lap.
âwas waiting for the right moment.â
you look between them, your pulse thrumming in your ears, your thoughts moving too fast to hold onto. he leans against your doorframe, one foot crossed over the other.
âseems like nowâs as good a time as any.â no oneâs smiling anymore.
seoyun folds her hands together and tilts her head, that familiar amused glint in her eyes. she gestures toward him. "i have a favour to ask," she says, voice soft but edged with something unyielding. âmy favourite investor, agust, has a job that needs doing. couldnât think of anyone else to handle it, except for my favourite employee.â
you scoff, a short, incredulous sound escaping before you can catch it. your mind races with questions, with the sudden collision of names and demands. âinvestor?â you ask, disbelief coloring your tone. âwhat kind of job are we even talking about?â
seoyun doesnât meet your gaze as she slides off the table chair, her movements deliberate. she steps closer, the scent of detergent and stale smoke mingling in the small space. "it's nothing you haven't handled before," she replies, the corners of her mouth twitching in a half-smile. âjust something that needs a careful touch.â
you shake your head, anger and exasperation bubbling beneath the surface. âand you think i'm up for it?â
her eyes finally meet yours, cool and unflinching. âyouâre good at what you do,â she says, as if stating a simple fact. âi trust you to get it done.â
the silence stretches between you, thick with everything unsaid. outside, the city hums softly, oblivious to the exchange inside your cramped apartment. you glance toward the door, toward the lingering presence of the man from the hallway, but your focus snaps back to seoyun.
âiâm just trying to get through the night,â you mutter, voice low.
she laughs, a short, dry sound that doesn't reach her eyes. âi know,â she says, almost kindly, âbut sometimes even just getting through the night means doing the hard work.â
you cross your arms, the weight of her words settling on you. the name agust, the job. you scoff again, more to yourself this time, though the sound is lost in the dim light.
âfine,â you say eventually, your tone resigned yet edged with a hint of challenge. âwhatâs the job?â
agust speaks up this time. âhere,â he says, and he tosses a bag onto the dining room table with a dull thud.
you flinch before you can help it, eyes snapping to the worn black canvas lumping in the center of your only table, still cluttered with a half-warm bowl of soup you never touched.
he nods toward it. âgo on. open it.â
your fingers hesitate for half a second before you reach forward, tugging at the zipper. the bag opens with a soft scrape of metal.
inside are clothes. neatly folded, surprisingly clean and but marked with faint stainsâdried blood, maybe oil, maybe both. button-downs, slacks, one expensive-looking coat.
you blink.
âi need them dry cleaned,â agust says, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world.
your brows pull together, confused. your brain, still caught somewhere between what is this and why are you in my apartment, stumbles over the simplicity of it. thatâs it? you glance up, incredulous.
seoyun snorts before you can say anything. she brings a hand up to cover her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. she fails.
agustâs mouth quirks into something resembling a smirk. âwhat?â he says. âwere you expecting a body?â
you scoff again, sharper this time, stepping back from the table like the clothes might bite. you donât answer, mostly because you donât know what you were expecting. but you know it wasnât this.
agust shrugs, already moving toward the door. âdrop them off when theyâre clean.â
you watch as he disappears into the hallway again, the echo of his boots fading behind him.
seoyun follows with one last glance back, still smiling. "thanks, sweetheart." then sheâs gone too, and youâre left with a bag of clothes and a headache.
you stare at the bag for a long time, long after the two of them have left.
not because youâre still confused, youâre not. not anymore. just tired, fighting off the oncoming headache that blooms behind your eyes while trying to figure out what the hell to do with whatâs been dumped on you.
the bag sits on your table, the zipper still half-open from when you checked it. the soup beside it has already gone cold, untouched.
eventually, you drag the bag closer.
the clothes spill out one layer at a time. button-downs, undershirts, pressed slacks that probably cost more than your monthâs rent. you smooth a sleeve on instinct, fingers brushing over faint ridges in the fabric. stitching, some sort of symbol or crest.
your stomach twists.
you pick up another shirt, hold it to the dim kitchen light. a small tear near the cuff, the kind that comes from something sharp catching on fabric.
the coat at the bottom of the pile is heavier. when you shake it out, something clinks softly inside the lining.
your fingers skim the collar. a patch of faint discoloration blooms near the shoulder, brownish. you donât need to smell it to know what it was before it dried.
âjesusâŚâ you whisper, but the word barely makes it out.
you fold the coat carefully, even though your hands shake. you tell yourself itâs just a job, just laundry. just another thing to get through so the next day can come. each piece is a story you donât want to read.
you tell yourself youâre going to fold the coat and put it away, done looking and noticing things that were never meant for you.
but your hands donât listen.
you hesitate, fingers hovering over the inner coat lining where youâd heard that soft clink earlier.
you shouldnât, you know you shouldnât, but you pinch the seam anyway, feeling for the shift of weight. thereânear the inside pocket. something solid.
your breath stirs the silence as you dig two fingers inside, pushing past the lining until they brush against cool metal.
you pull it out slowly.
a pocket knife.
small and sleek, expensive looking. custom made, definitely. smaller, but no less dangerous.
the handle glints under the weak kitchen bulb, polished black with a thin engraved line running the length of it. a symbol, maybe. a crest. you donât recognize it, but you know enough to understand it matters.
you turn it over in your palm. itâs heavier than it looks.
you shouldnât have it. you shouldnât even be touching it. and yet, your fingers curl around the knife like youâve already made the choice.
sell it later, maybe. or keep it, maybe.
something you shouldnât have, but something that would matter more to you than it ever will to him.
you glance toward your apartment door, half expecting someone to be standing there, watching. but it stays closed, the room still silent.
slowly, quietly, you slip the knife into your pocket.
you hate cheap lights.
they buzz and they flicker and they make everything look jaundiced and yellow.
the bathhouse office has one of those lights, and right now itâs stuttering overhead, casting seoyunâs face in that nauseous yellow as she counts out another stack of bills.
she hums under her breath, tapping each bundle of cash against the desk before tucking it into the metal box she keeps half-hidden beneath the counter. the flickering light hits her nails, making them glint like small, lacquered knives.
you stand in the doorway, mop handle still damp in your grip, sweat cooling on your back from hours of work you havenât been paid for yet.
âhow goes it?â she asks halfheartedly without looking up.
âlightâs dying,â you murmur, kissing your teeth.
seoyun snorts. âoh, sweetheart. everything in here is dying.â
the bulb buzzes overhead, flickers twice, then steadies just enough to make the shadows under her eyes deepen.
she finally looks up at you, smile sharp and eyes unreadable. âdone mopping?â
you nod.
she slides the last neat bundle into the cash box and snaps it shut with a metallic click. the sound echoes in the cramped room.
âgood,â she says. âwe might have company later. big night.â
you donât ask, you donât want to know what big night means.
seoyun doesnât stop looking at you, sharp and assessing, cutting clean through the space between you.
your pulse ticks in your throat.
then her gaze drops, slow, to your shirt.
ânew clothes?â she asks.
your fingers tense around the mop handle. âno.â
she hums, unconvinced. âlooks good on you,â she says, tipping her chin toward you. âlittle nicer than what you usually wear.â
your pulse thuds once, hard.
âmustâve been a good sale,â she adds, voice warm in that way that isnât warm at all.
you swallow. âyeah.â
her smile widens, not threatening, but knowing. far too knowing.
and you know what sheâs seeing.
the slight lift in your pockets some nights, the extra attention you give the locker rooms during the day. the habit you didnât think anyone noticed, slipping things into one pile, taking them home in another. pinching.
just small things. petty, small things that wonât be missed. enough to sell to pawn shops that donât ask questions. enough to make the week hurt less. she shouldnât know. you were careful, so careful.
she keeps studying you, tapping her nail against the metal box.
tap. tap. tap.
âfits you well,â she says eventually. âgood cut. nice fabric.â
your throat feels tight. âguess i got lucky.â
âyou do that,â she hums. âyou get lucky more often than people think.â
your grip on the mop handle tightens. there it is, the accusation she isnât saying. the warning she hasnât given. the edge of something sharp under all that easy tone.
but then, she waves a hand, dismissive and bored.
âdonât look so tense,â she says. âi donât care where you shop.â
the tension snaps inside you so suddenly you almost sway.
she doesnât know. or she does, and sheâs choosing not to care. or she cares, just not enough to make a problem of it.
âthanks,â you manage, voice steady enough to pass.
seoyun hums again, already flipping the cash box closed, already done with you. âjust keep showing up on time,â she says. âand donât bring me drama.â
your fingers curl tighter around the mop handle. the knife in your pocket presses warm against your thigh.
âwasnât planning to.â
âgood girl,â she murmurs, and the cheap light flickers overhead as if in agreement.
she doesnât look at your shirt again. doesnât glance at your pockets, or check the racks or the logs.
and yet the whole time she speaks, her eyes never fully leave you.
you hadnât wanted to make a habit of it. god, you really hadnât. you valued living an honest life, even if it was a difficult one. honesty was the one thing you still had, the one thing you could cling to without it slipping away.
it was just supposed to be one time, a little extra cash so you could keep yourself fed.
but that one time opened a flood gate, because you realised how easy it was to just pinch the little things. extra things, small things.
the worn silver band someone forgot in a locker after a late-night soak, a note or two crumpled at the bottom of a pocket. just enough to get you some nice things youâd had to abstain from to keep afloat.
the knife, however, burns a hole in your pocket.
youâd walked into the pawn shop that day with all the intent to sell it, but the minute your fingers closed around the metal, something froze you in place. youâd held the knife tighter, turning it over in your palm, feeling the weight the way the handle fit too perfectly between your fingers. it thrummed under your touch, some instinct you couldnât name whispering donât.
you stood there too long. long enough for the clerk to finally glance up and open his mouth to ask what you wanted.
you never let him speak.
you slipped the knife back into your pocket, nodded stiffly, and walked right back out into the cold air.
you donât know why you did it, you donât know what stopped you. all you know is that you couldnât sell it.
and now the knife stays with you, heavy and cold, a secret pressed hard against your thigh.
yoongi had encountered a plethora of people in his line of work.
heâd met every variation. slick talkers, desperate ones, idiots who stole from the wrong pocket, professionals who thought they could outfox him. people who lied with tears in their eyes. people who begged. people who swore loyalty in the same breath they planned betrayal.
heâd never met someone quite so shameless as you, though. shameless in the quiet way. not bold, not cocky. just⌠blatantly unaware of how dangerous it was to take what wasnât yoursâto take from him.
heâd taken the clothes you cleaned, and heâd even left a tip for your hard work. a decent one. crisp bills folded clean on the counter for you and your efforts.
a few days later, heâs prepping for the deal. the deal. the one the serpents had been chasing with the fangs for years now.
the warehouse is cold, metal echoing under each step as he circles the table laid out with documents, coded slips, sealed envelopesâeverything that needs to change hands tonight. nothing can afford to be missing. nothing can be out of place.
he checks each item with the same deliberate precision he uses for everything. papers. phone. burner. keys.
then the coat.
he lifts it by the collar, fingers slipping into the inner lining.
empty.
he checks again, slower this time.
nothing.
his jaw flexes. the knife should be here. the knife always stays here. he never moves it unless he needs it for a meet, and this one needs it. proof of identity, a token only a handful of people are trusted to carry.
he slips a hand down the other side of the lining, checking even though he already knows.
still nothing.
a long exhale pushes through his nose, not quite a sigh. something closer to annoyance, something sharp and unkind that cuts clean.
âof course,â he mutters.
shameless. or stupid. he isnât sure which one concerns him more.
he folds the coat quietly, methodically, sets it back down on the table, and stands still for a moment, calculating.
the deal needs that knife. and you have it.
his fingers drum once against the table, then he reaches for his keys.
youâre not hard to find. youâre exactly where he expects you to be.
yoongi steps through the front door without a sound, and you donât notice him at first, too focused on the stubborn stain near the wall.
he watches you for a moment. long enough for the door to shut behind him and the air to shift.
then, âyou take something of mine?â
you freeze. the mop stops mid-stroke and your fingers tighten around the handle. a slow, cold spike threads down your spine.
you turn only your head at first, cautious, like movement might provoke something. yoongi stands a few feet away, hands in his pockets, expression unreadable in the flickering bathhouse light.
âno,â you sayâtoo fast, too sharp.
his brow lifts the slightest fraction.
then he moves, each step measured until heâs close enough that the heat of him pushes into your space you have to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes.
âyou sure?â he asks.
you swallow. âi didnât take anything.â
yoongi exhales through his nose, a quiet, humorless sound, and then heâs stepping forward. his hand closes around your wrist, the one holding the mop, and he yanks you forward just enough to break your balance. your back hits the wall with a soft, stunned thud, tiles cold through your thin shirt.
the mop handle clatters to the floor and your breath catches.
he isnât rough, not really, but heâs unyielding. one hand planted beside your head on the wall, the other still wrapped around your wrist, keeping you still.
âdonât lie to me,â he says quietly.
his voice is calm, deceptively so, but his eyes? sharp, focused, dragging over your face as though scanning for every twitchâevery flinch, every tell.
âi said,â you manage, âi didnât take anything.â
his gaze drops to your mouth for half a second, your shameless, lying mouth, enough to make your stomach twist, then lifts again.
âthen whyâs my knife missing?â
your breath stops. âyoongiââ you start.
âdonât.â his grip on your wrist tightens, just enough to remind you heâs stronger than he looks. âdonât pretend you donât know what iâm talking about.â
his face is inches from yours now, close enough that you feel the warmth of his breath, smell the faint smoke clinging to him, see the slow rise and fall of his chest.
âyouâre either bold,â he murmurs, leaning in just slightly, âor stupid.â
your throat works around a swallow.
âwhich one are you?â he asks.
yoongiâs breath drags slow across your cheek, his hand sliding from your wrist to your jaw, thumb pressing just beneath your chin, tilting your face up toward him.
not gentle, not cruel. just⌠deciding.
âi need it,â he says, voice dropping low, quiet enough that it vibrates more than it sounds. âthe knife. it isnât decoration. it isnât sentimental. itâs proof.â
âproof for who?â you whisper, swallowing hard.
âcertain circles,â he says. and the words sit heavy. âyouâre not stupid you know the type. circles that donât forgive mistakes.â
your stomach knots.
he leans in closer, one forearm braced against the wall beside your head, the other hand still at your jaw, keeping you exactly where he wants you.
âyou walk around this city blind,â he murmurs, voice tightening. âpretending you donât know how thin the ice is under your feet. pretending you can take things and walk away.â
âyoongiââ
âif word gets out that you stole it,â he says, cutting you off softly, âyouâre done.â
the words hit like a blade.
âtheyâll think i let you,â he continues, eyes boring into yours. âor worse, that you meant to sell it. trade it. pass it off to the wrong hands.â
his thumb presses harder against your chin, not enough to bruise, but enough to lock your jaw, keep your eyes on him.
âand if they think that?â he says. âyouâve signed your own death warrant.â
his hand slides from your jaw to your throat. not squeezing, just holding, his thumb brushing lightly over your pulse.
âthis was stupid,â he murmurs. âeven for you.â
your throat tightens under his palm. âi donât have it.â
yoongiâs eyes narrow, just the smallest, lethal shift. his thumb presses once against your pulse, a silent donât insult me.
âdonât,â he murmurs. âdonât lie to me again.â
âiâm not lying.â
âyou are.â
âyoongiââ
âiâm not stupid.â
the way he says it is quiet, almost conversational, but it cuts sharper than anything heâs holding you with. his fingers tighten just slightly at your throat, âwhere is it?â
your heart stutters and your mouth dries,your palms sweating against the tile. âi pawned it,â you say.
the lie snaps out fast, instinctive and stupid, but itâs the first thing your brain throws out, and you latch onto it like a lifeline.
something shifts in him. he stills, completely.
his hand falls from your throat. his other arm uncurls from the wall and he steps back a single pace.
fuck. fuck!
itâs the only word in his head. itâs in the way his jaw clenches, the way his eyes flick away from you for the first time since he walked in, the way his fingers curl into his palm like he needs to ground himself before he does something reckless.
pawning it? pawning that? that isnât shameless. itâs suicidal.
you expect yelling. maybe a threat. maybe for him to grab you again. but instead yoongi drags a hand over his face, stopping at his mouth, thumb pressed against his lipâthinking through every possible outcome and hating all of them.
he breathes out, low and rough. ââŚfuck.â
you donât move, you donât dare.
the mop lies discarded on the floor between you both and the bathhouse hums with sick yellow light. your pulse still hammers in your throat where his hand had been.
yoongi finally looks at you again, and it isnât fury you see. just recognition of just how deeply fucked this is.
âyou really pawned it?â he asks, voice barely above a whisper, hollow.
you nod, small and quick and terrified.
âyeah,â you whisper. âi pawned it.â
the words sound too small in the echo of the bathhouse, too thin against the buzz of the dying light.
as if to prove you mean it, you shove a hand into each pocket and flip them inside outâempty fabric turning limp and useless, hanging open under the flicker.
âsee?â you manage. âi donât have anything.â
yoongi doesnât move.
he just stares at you. that unreadable stillness again, except now itâs worseâthereâs weight behind it. pressure. a calculation happening behind his eyes that you wish you couldnât feel.
then, low, âyouâre not going back to your apartment.â
your breath catches. âwhat?â
ânot until iâve gone through it.â his tone doesnât shift, doesnât rise. itâs terrifying in its quiet. âwall to wall. every drawer, every crack, every floorboard.â
you shake your head. âyou canâtââ
âi can.â he cuts in, stepping closer again. âand i will.â
his shadow stretches across the tiles, folding into yours. heâs calm nowâtoo calm, the kind that comes right before something worse.
âif that knifeâs in there,â he says, voice flat, âiâll find it. and if itâs notââ he exhales once, slow, deliberateââthen iâll decide what happens next.â
you swallow, throat tight, hands still frozen mid-air.
he tilts his head, gaze steady, unblinking.
âeither way,â yoongi murmurs, âyouâre not leaving this place until i know for sure.â
seoyunâs here now.
sheâs sitting cross-legged on the bath house couch, smoking. babysittingâher word, not yours. she said it when she showed up. said it again when she took your phone, your keys, and told you to âsit tight.â
she brought company too.
the other twoâhis peopleâstay posted near the window and the door, both of them too at ease for men who donât belong here. you think oneâs name is namjoon. the other, jin. theyâd introduced themselves with soft smiles and polite nods.
you hadnât fought it, there was no point. because yoongiâs in your apartment. because heâs tearing it apart.
you can hear the dull thud of drawers above you, the scrape of furniture against the floor, the sound of metal hitting metal. steady and methodical.
heâs been at it for forty-five minutes.
you know you didnât pawn the knife. he doesnât, but you do. itâs in the dry cleanerâs, still sitting in the cash drawer where you shoved it the night seoyun almost called you out, wrapped in an old receipt and tucked under a row of clipped bills. out of sight, out of mind. forgotten until now.
âyou really pissed off some very bad men, sweetheart,â seoyun says, smirking.
you donât answer. you can still hear muffled movement from the bedroomâdrawers opening, a dull thud against the wall, yoongiâs voice low and sharp behind the closed door.
seoyun laughs, head tipping back. âheâs been sweating over this deal for months. months. and you? you manage to ruin it in seconds.â she lets out another laugh, brighter, meaner. âgod, thatâs talent.â
namjoon looks up from the window, one brow raised, but doesnât say anything. jin just smirks faintly, scrolling through his phone, pretending not to listen.
seoyun stretches, smoke curling past her fingers. âdonât look so scared. iâm not gonna sell you out. i donât work for the serpents. never did.â she grins at your silence, eyes glinting through the haze. âbut i have to admit, watching him come undone over a girl who canât keep her hands to herself? thatâs a first.â
you shift in your seat. the sound of another door slamming makes you flinch.
yoongi hits the bottom step like a crack of thunder.
the whole room seems to shift around the soundâthe floorboards, the air, the quiet. seoyun goes still mid-laugh, one brow lifting as he slams the door open, face drawn tight and sleeves rolled up past his elbows. thereâs dust on his hands, on the front of his shirt, a streak of white paint along his wrist from the wall heâs just torn open.
you barely have time to stand before heâs on you.
his hand closes around your collar, dragging you half out of the chair, breath knocking out of you with the motion.
âwhat fucking shop?â yoongi snarls.
you blink up at him, vision stuttering on the edges. âw-whatââ
âdonât play dumb.â his voice drops, quieter but sharper for it. âyou said you pawned it. where?â
his eyes are glassy with anger, the kind that burns too cold to show on his face. heâs breathing hard, jaw locked
âyoongi,â seoyun hums, almost amused again, âtake a breath.â
he doesnât hear her. his knuckles tighten in your collar until you feel the fabric bite into your skin.
âwhich. fucking. shop.â
your hands come up uselessly against his chest. âiâi donât rememberââ
âdonât lie to me.â his voice cracks low, deadly steady. âyou remember everything else, donât you? you remember taking it. hiding it. so where is it?â
your mouth opens, nothing comes out. you can feel your pulse hammering against the inside of your throat.
yoongi jerks you closer until your faces nearly touch, his eyes drilling into yours. âshop name,â he repeats. âsay it.â
you canât, you know you canât. because there isnât one.
yoongi stares for another long, unbearable second, then releases you with a shove that sends you stumbling back into the chair.
his breath drags ragged through his teeth. his hands curl once at his sides before he drags them down over his face.
âfuck,â he mutters again. cracked and defeated.
then he turns, and the doorframe shudders as he slams his fist into it on the way out.
yoongi sits at the far end of the table, elbows on his knees, hands clasped hard enough to hurt. the low light of the warehouse throws everyone in slices of shadow, the air heavy with the scent of smoke, oil, and wet concrete.
theyâre all hereâthe ones who matter most tonight. namjoon at his left, calm as ever. jin by the door, arms crossed. jimin off to the side, murmuring under his breath. taehyungâs leaning back in his chair, boots up on the table, expression unreadable. hoseok out, trying to salvage everything.
the knife should be there, center of the table, between the dossiers and the money. instead, thereâs nothing.
yoongi drags smoke through his teeth and exhales slow.
he doesnât look up. his headâs pounding, from the noise, from the lightâfrom the fact that everything is balanced on one stupid, stolen piece of metal.
taehyung clicks his tongue. âso whatâs the play, hyung? we go looking for it, or we start digging a grave?â
jimin shoots him a look. âdonât be an ass.â
âiâm being realistic.â taehyung shrugs, all lazy muscle and dead tone. âwe canât show up empty-handed. that knifeâs proof of hold, of loyalty. no knife, no deal. no deal, weâre cut off.â
âi know what it is,â yoongi says, flat.
taehyung studies him a moment, then leans forward, grin thin. âthen maybe itâs time we cut our losses. throw her to them.â
the room stills. the words hang there, casual but sharp.
âenemy of my enemy,â taehyung continues, tapping a finger against the table. âthey get their sacrifice, we get a clean slate. everyone wins.â
yoongi lifts his gaze. thereâs no expression on his face, but the temperature in the room drops anyway.
âyouâd trade her for a deal?â jungkook asks quietly.
taehyung smirks. âiâd trade anyone if it kept us alive.â
yoongi snuffs out the cigarette on the tableâs edge, grinding the ember down until it dies with a faint hiss.
when he speaks, his voice is steady again, too steady.
âno oneâs touching her.â
taehyung raises a brow. âsince when do youââ
âsince i said so.â
the silence after that is thick enough to choke on.
âour one rule,â he says, voice low, âis that we donât kill.â
the words come out measured. theyâve been said beforeâon rooftops, in alleys, after long nights where blood was easier than reason. itâs the one rule heâs managed to keep clean.
jimin looks at him from across the table, arms crossed, expression somewhere between sympathy and disbelief. âwe wouldnât be the ones killing her,â he says quietly.
yoongiâs gaze snaps up.
jimin doesnât flinch. âtaehyungâs not wrong,â he continues. âif you hand her over, the fangs handle the rest. sheâs the thief. theyâll make an example, and we get distance. technicallyââ he gestures with two fingers ââno blood on our hands.â
the silence that follows is heavy. somewhere, water drips from the ceiling; the sound feels loud enough to echo.
yoongiâs jaw works. âtechnically,â he repeats, the word dry, venom-soft. âyou think that matters when sheâs the one paying for my mistake?â
âsheâs not yours to protect,â taehyung mutters.
yoongiâs stare cuts across the table, sharp and cold. âdoesnât change the rule.â
the warehouse door groans open, and hoseok steps through, the cold clinging to him like smoke. thereâs dust on his jacket, sweat along his hairline, and frustration rolling off him in quiet waves.
âevery shop,â he says, voice clipped, exhausted. âpawn, antique, backdoor dealers, fences. i checked them all.â
yoongi looks up slowly. âand?â
hoseok shakes his head, dragging a hand down his face. âwhoever had it doesnât anymore. and nobodyâs seen anything that matches the description.â
the words settle hard in the space between them.
no knife. no proof. no deal.
yoongi drags a hand over his face, the sound rough against the silence that follows. he doesnât swear this time. he just sits back, head tipping against the wall behind him.
namjoon leans forward, elbows on his knees, voice even. âthen we play it differently. we can give up a thief without saying who. call it a pickpocket, some no-name who ran off with a souvenir. sure, it makes us look sloppy, but itâs good enough.â
yoongiâs eyes flick toward him. âand when the bounty hits?â he asks. ânameless or not, theyâll find her eventually. especially with the crows sitting fence. being team serpents isnât exactly good business right now.â
the room goes still again. taehyung shifts in his chair. hoseok looks between them, silent.
âthen we donât give her up,â namjoon says finally. ânot yet. we lock her down instead. safe house, out of reach. she doesnât have to die. she can help us find the knife, and we get the heat off our backs until we do.â
yoongiâs stare lingers on him, long enough that the air starts to hum with something unspoken. then he exhales, the sound closer to a growl than a breath.
âdone deal,â he mutters.
and thatâs it. decision made. no vote, no argument.
Summary: What starts as friendship built on inside jokes and late-night takeout slowly turns into something messier, heavier, and impossible to ignore. From the first meet through the birthday party, jealousy, confessions, and one hangover laterâyou and Yoongi finally cross the line youâve both been toeing for far too long.
Content/Warnings: Explicit sexual content (smut), jealousy, alcohol use, language, angst with eventual comfort, friends-to-lovers, oral (f receiving), fingering, protected penetrative sex, multiple positions, creampie (with condom), aftercare(barely), many many confessions. Please tell me if I missed anything!
Playlist: We canât be friends by Ariana Grande // Tears by Sabrina Carpenter
A/N: This story got away from me in the best wayâitâs long, indulgent, and absolutely filthy but also stupidly tender. Yoongi really said âdreams do come true.â God I love himđ thank you @sorilyae for being my positive enabler 𫶠I love you
The first time you meet Yoongi, youâre not even supposed to be there.
Namjoon is an old friend from collegeâthe kind who pops in and out of your life like seasons, but always feels like home when heâs around. Heâs in town for a few days, texts you last-minute with, âcome out tonight, Iâve got people you should meet.â
You almost say no. Itâs been a long week, and youâre not in the mood for new faces. But itâs Namjoon, and youâve missed him, so you drag yourself out anyway.
The little get-together isnât what you expect. Not a packed bar, not a fancy dinner. Just a corner booth in a half-empty lounge, dim lighting and a low playlist in the background. Namjoon waves you over, grinning, introducing you one by one to the friends crammed into the booth with him.
And then thereâs Yoongi.
He doesnât smile when your eyes meet. He barely looks up from his glass. But when Namjoon says your name, Yoongi repeats it under his breath like heâs testing it out, then gives you the faintest nod.
You slide into the booth across from him. Conversation flows easily with the othersâJiminâs brightness, Taehyungâs chaos, Jinâs effortless banterâbut every so often, you catch Yoongiâs eyes on you. Not in a way that feels rude. More like heâs quietly assessing you, deciding if youâre worth the effort.
It isnât until someone makes a dumb jokeâsomething dark and a little twistedâthat you instinctively add a one-liner of your own. The table goes silent for half a beat, surprised. And then Yoongi huffs out a laugh. A real one, quick and sharp, before he shakes his head and mutters, âfinally, someone with decent humor.â
Thatâs it. The thread is tied.
For the rest of the night, you find yourself leaning into his side comments, his dry observations. He doesnât say much, but when he does, it landsâand you volley it right back. The others notice, of course. Namjoon gives you a knowing look, like he planned this all along.
And by the end of the night, you and Yoongi are sharing a basket of fries across the table, comfortable in a silence that doesnât feel awkward at all. When you leave, he doesnât ask for your number. He just says, âyouâll be around again, right?â And somehow, you know you will.
After that first night, you figure itâs a one-off. Youâll catch Namjoon next time heâs in town, and Yoongi will stay in your memory as the guy with the sharp laugh and sharper humor.
Exceptâtwo days later, your phone buzzes.
A new group chat.
Namjoon: Squad expansion pack unlocked. Everybody say hi to [Y/N].
Taehyung: ooooh new friend
Jin: more people to roast me, great
Yoongi: âŚ
Yoongi: who let her in here
Your thumb hovers over the keyboard, smirking. You type back:
the bouncer at the booth last night liked me more than you, sorry.
And just like that, itâs on.
From then on, Yoongi isnât just Namjoonâs friendâyou start seeing him at every casual hang. Movie nights, random bar meet-ups, late-night drives when Taehyung insists everyone needs ice cream at 1 a.m. Somewhere in the shuffle, Yoongi stops feeling like âNamjoonâs brooding friendâ and starts feeling like your favorite person to stand next to at parties.
You donât notice it right away, but the others definitely do. The way you two end up sharing snacks. The way Yoongi actually texts back in the group chat if itâs you heâs answering. The way his humor sharpens whenever youâre around, like heâs performing for an audience of one.
It takes weeks before you realize: youâve been texting Yoongi directly. No big moment, no âcan I get your numberââjust the natural bleed from group chat to late-night one-on-ones. Memes, song recs, dumb observations. A thread that winds tighter without either of you naming it.
And somehow, without noticing, Yoongi becomes the person you look for first when you walk into a room.
It doesnât take long before you and Yoongi develop your own rhythm.
At first, itâs little thingsâdry commentary during group hangs, a quiet laugh shared while everyone else is too loud to notice. But soon, it becomes a whole thing. Inside jokes stitched together from throwaway comments, looks you can read without words.
Once, at a party, someone suggests a cheesy icebreaker game. You and Yoongi exchange a glance, already mocking it in your heads.
He leans closer, murmurs just for you:
âif I have to list two truths and a lie, Iâm going with âI buried a body onceâ as a truth.â
You snort into your drink, choking on laughter. When you wheeze out your own responseââmake sure you donât pick the basement, that oneâs already mineââYoongi nearly spits out his beer.
Everyone else at the table just stares. Jungkook looks genuinely concerned. Jin mutters something about âwhat the hell is wrong with you two,â while Hoseok squints like heâs not sure if youâre kidding. You and Yoongi, meanwhile, are doubled over in the corner, entirely unbothered.
It becomes a pattern:
Youâre the only one who laughs when Yoongi mutters his driest, darkest lines.
Heâs the only one who notices when you deadpan something outrageous under your breath.
The others stop asking, eventually, because itâs your brand of humorâprivate, sharp-edged, and weirdly intimate.
In between the jokes, though, itâs softer things that stitch you together.
Falling asleep on his couch after a late-night hang, and waking to a blanket tossed over you.
Him sending you half-finished demos at 3 a.m., knowing you wonât judge.
You picking up takeout when you know he hasnât eaten all day.
You become constants in each otherâs livesâreliable without ever saying you would be. And maybe thatâs why no one teases you about it; because for all the dark humor and the sharp laughs, everyone can see the gentleness underneath.
Of course, you donât call it that. Neither of you do. Itâs just friendship. Comfortable. Easy. Unshakable.
At least, until it isnât.
It happens on a Saturday night, the kind of night thatâs quietly become yours.
Most weekends end this wayâtakeout boxes on Yoongiâs coffee table, a movie playing half-forgotten in the background, you two tucked into opposite ends of the couch. Sometimes you talk. Sometimes you donât. It doesnât matter; the routine is what matters.
So when you casually say, âI canât do next weekendâI think Iâve been asked on a date,â you donât even look up from your carton of noodles. Itâs offhand, thoughtless, like mentioning the weather.
But Yoongi hears it like a record scratch.
He doesnât answer right away. Just sets down his chopsticks, leans back, stares at the TV like it suddenly got interesting. His pulse thuds in his ears, steady and unwelcome.
A date.
âCool,â he says finally, voice low, flat enough you almost donât notice itâs sharper than usual.
You glance at him, puzzled. âWhat?â
âNothing,â he shrugs. âHave fun.â
You wait for him to make a joke, to say something snarky about your type or the guy probably being boring. Thatâs how it usually goesâyou throw the ball, he bats it back. But this time, Yoongi doesnât even lift his eyes from the screen.
The silence feels heavier than it should.
You donât press, because Yoongi gets like this sometimesâquiet moods, long stretches of silence. Youâve never pushed too hard when he walls himself off.
But for Yoongi, itâs different. Heâs sitting there, forcing himself to keep his expression neutral, to not let his hand tighten around the beer bottle in his lap. He knows itâs stupid. Youâre not his. Youâve never been his. He has no claim to feel anything at all.
And yet, the thought of you smiling across a table at someone else makes his chest tighten in a way he absolutely does not want to look into right now.
When you finally lean back and sigh, half-smiling at him like nothingâs changed, Yoongi manages to nod, force out a faint smirk.
But later, when you leave, his apartment feels too quiet. And Yoongi realizesâfor the first timeâthat the idea of losing your Saturdays hurts a lot more than heâs ready to admit.
You swipe a layer of mascara onto your lashes, blink at your reflection, and try not to think about how strange Yoongi has been all week.
Normally, Saturdays are yours. Movie nights, half-eaten takeout cartons, his sarcastic commentary muffled against the couch cushions. But tonight youâre in front of your mirror, curling iron still hot, lip gloss still tacky, because you told him you had a date.
The word had landed heavy between you, like a rock in a still pond. Yoongi hadnât teased you, hadnât grumbled about your taste, hadnât even made a joke at your expense. Just that flat cool and nothing else. And thatânot the date, not the guyâhas been tugging at your thoughts ever since.
You smooth the hem of your dress and pause, because another memory presses forward, uninvited.
Itâs from months ago. A night you werenât even supposed to stay late, but the group hang bled into Yoongiâs apartment, and then bled into just the two of you, cross-legged on his floor with a half-empty bottle between you.
Yoongi doesnât drink oftenânot enough to get loose, anyway. But that night, he let himself unravel just a little. Enough that the words spilled out softer, slower, like heâd been holding them back too long.
âYou knowâŚâ Heâd swirled the last inch of whiskey in his glass, eyes half-lidded, mouth quirking like he wasnât sure if he should keep going. ââŚyouâre⌠fuck. Youâre one of the best people Iâve ever met.â
You laughed then, awkward, ready to brush it off. But Yoongi hadnât let you.
âNo, seriously. You donât get it.â His gaze had been steady, almost too much to bear. âYou bring⌠light. To people. To me. Likeâyouâre funny as hell, yeah, but itâs more than that. You make shit feel⌠less heavy. You make people feel lucky just by being around. Anyone would be blessed to have you in their life. And if they donât see that? Theyâre idiots.â
The words had settled in your chest, glowing, impossible to forget. But you couldnât answer. You just sat there, staring, memorizing the way his voice dipped low on lucky.
He smiled after, small and crooked, and took another sip like he hadnât just turned your whole world upside down.
The next morning, when you teased him about itââyou get weirdly poetic when youâre drunk, Min Yoongi.â Heâd blinked at you, blank-faced, and muttered, âdonât remember a thing.â
Youâd laughed it off then. But now, pulling on your jacket and glancing at your phone, you wonder if maybe thatâs why his silence stings so much.
Because even if he doesnât remember saying it, you do.
And some stupid part of you wishes he meant it.
You find yourself at the restaurant. And you donât even really want to be here.
His name is Daniel. Works in accounting two floors down from your office. Nice enoughâclean shoes, polite smile, remembered to hold the door when you walked in. You only said yes to this date because he asked twice and because somewhere in the back of your head was Yoongiâs voice from months ago, telling you to put yourself out there. To let people see how âlightâ you are.
You thought Yoongi would be proud.
But twenty minutes into the date, you already know how this ends. Daniel talks about office politics like itâs a full-contact sport, and when he laughs at his own joke, itâs just⌠loud. Not sharp, not dry, not shared with a sly glance across a crowded room.
Not Yoongi.
You poke at your pasta, nodding at the right times while he continues talking, but your mind betrays you. Imagining what Yoongi would say about the way Daniel uses the word âsynergyâ three times in one awful story. How heâd smirk across the table, mutter something dark under his breath just for you, and youâd choke trying not to laugh too loud.
With Yoongi, thereâd be inside jokes and banter, even in silence. With Daniel, itâs small talk and forced smiles. And youâre not really hitting it off.
By the time dessert comes, youâre already exhausted. You tell yourself, at least you tried. At least you showed up.
When you get home, you peel your makeup off in the bathroom, watching mascara smudge into raccoon eyes. Relief sinks into your bones when you pull on your favorite hoodie and curl up in bed.
The date wasnât a disaster. But it wasnât him.
Your phone buzzes. One name.
yoon: How was the date?
You stare at the screen. Wonder where he is right now. On his couch, knees tucked up, TV on low? Or stretched out in bed, thumb hovering over the keyboard the same way yours is?
You type:
you: it wasnât⌠horrible.
Your thumb hesitates, then moves again. The truth itches under your skin until it spills out in the way only Yoongi will get:
you: next time Iâll just ask my Uber driver to drag me behind his car through trafficâprobably less painful than sitting through another date like that.
Thereâs a pause. Then:
yoon: lmao
yoon: finally, some honesty
And just like that, the tightness in your chest eases. Because no matter how awful the night was, at least you get to end it with him.
Jinâs apartment is loud, the kind of loud that comes from seven different conversations stacked on top of each other. The coffee table is a graveyard of takeout boxes, Taehyung is half-off the armchair like he doesnât understand gravity, and Jungkook is shoveling fried rice into his mouth like itâs a competition no one else signed up for.
Youâre curled into one corner of the couch, drink in hand, Yoongi beside you with his usual air of disinterest. Itâs comfortable, the background noise, until Jimin suddenly cuts through it.
You blink, startled. ââŚHow do you even know that?â
Taehyung chimes in, âBecause I make it my business to know everyoneâs birthdays.â He sits up, grinning. âAnd weâre throwing you a party.â
A laugh slips out before you can stop it. âWhat? No. Youâre not.â
Jin yells from the kitchen doorway, without missing a beat, âYes, we are! Iâll bake the cake!â
Hoseok, from an armchair, âIâll handle the playlist.â
Jungkook with his mouth full, âIâll bring snacks.â
You hold up both hands, shaking your head. âGuys, seriouslyâdonât. I donât want a party. Itâs not a big deal.â
Taehyung gasps. âNot a big deal? Itâs your birthday! Thatâs literally the definition of a big deal.â
The room hums with agreement. You try to smile, but your chest tightens. The idea of being the center of attention makes your skin prickle. âIâm fine with just⌠hanging out. Like we always do.â
Beside you, Yoongi doesnât say anything, but you can feel his eyes on you. The way he sees past the casual shrug, the way his gaze sharpens at the way your fingers worry the rim of your glass. He knows youâre tenseâof course he does. He always does.
Jimin continues, âNope, too late. Weâre making this happen. Weâll invite everyone. Work friends, too.â
Your stomach drops. âThatâsâno, you donât have toââ
âWhat about that guy⌠Daniel, was it? Im sure heâd come.â
The name hangs heavy. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Yoongiâs shoulders go rigid, his thumb pausing against the armrest.
You force a laugh. âHeâs⌠really not party material.â
Ever the âparty-material-makerâ, Taehyung reassures you: âThen weâll vet him. If heâs boring, heâs out.â
Yoongi finally says something, voice low, snarky enough to offend. âThen half the people you invite wonât make the cut.â
The group bursts into laughter, but you hear the edge under his tone. You glance sidewaysâhis expression is neutral, almost bored, but the tension in his jaw is undeniable.
You take a sip of your drink, trying to hide the heat rising in your chest. You told yourself you didnât want a party. But now, with Yoongi sitting so close you can feel the shift in his mood, you canât help wondering if what you really donât want is him seeing you with anyone else there.
The laughter from Yoongiâs jab is still bouncing around the room when the bathroom door creaks open. Namjoon steps out, fanning the air behind him like heâs trying to chase away a demon.
âDo not,â he says, voice solemn, âgo in there.â
A collective groan rolls through the room.
Jin throws his head back. âAgain?â
Jungkook groans through a mouthful of rice. âHyung, get your life together.â
Hoseok presses a hand to his chest, already laughing. âI told you not to eat the extra kimchi.â
Namjoon just lifts his hands in surrender. âIâm sparing you, trust me.â
The chaos bubbles up, Jimin clutching his stomach, Taehyung dramatically collapsing onto the armchair like heâs fainting from the stench. You laugh, shaking your head, but the sound catches in your throat when you feel the shift beside you.
Yoongi stretches an arm lazily across the back of the couch. Casual. Effortless. Like heâs done it a hundred times before. Except he hasnâtânot once in the year youâve known him.
Your heart kicks against your ribs. The distance between his hand and your shoulder is nothing, barely inches, and suddenly youâre hyperaware of the space youâre taking up.
He leans just slightly toward you, voice pitched low enough to skim under the noise. âYou really donât want a party?â
You glance at him, caught off guard. âNot really.â
His eyes flick to your face, steady, unreadable. âEven with people who actually matter?â
The question knots in your chest. You swallow. âItâs not about that. I just⌠donât like being the center of attention.â
Yoongi hums, quiet. âFair. But it wouldnât be the worst thing, you know. Letting people celebrate you.â
The words are gentle. Too gentle. For a second, it feels like the whole room fadesâTaehyung whining dramatically about Febreze, Jin telling Namjoon heâs banned from kimchi foreverâand all you can hear is Yoongi, sitting close enough that his warmth skims along your arm.
You manage a small smile. âYou sound like drunk-you again. Semi-inspirational.â
That earns you the barest twitch of his lips. âMaybe sober-me means it too.â
The air shifts, heavier than it should be, and your breath catches before the momentâs swept away because Hoseok suddenly narrows his eyes at you and Yoongi.
âLook at these two,â he says, gesturing with his chopsticks. âWhole room of people and theyâre having their own private conversation again.â
Taehyung perks up immediately. âItâs every hangout. Soulmates, clearly.â
Namjoon sighs and mutters under his breath, clearly feeling sorry for the teasing about to take place. âHere we go, again.â
Jin smirks from the kitchen doorway. âTheyâre so locked in, Iâm surprised they even hear us.â
You roll your eyes, heat creeping up your neck. âWe do notââ
âYes, you do,â Jungkook cuts in, grinning around his drink. âHalf the time youâre whispering and laughing and the rest of us are just sitting here like chopped liver.â
Yoongi doesnât look at them. Doesnât move his arm from the back of the couch, either. He just takes a slow sip from his glass, face unreadable.
But then Jimin, always the instigator, leans forward with a wicked smile. âYouâre sitting close enough to kiss right now.â
Oh, he knows what he just did.
The room erupts with laughter, wolf-whistles and fake gagging sounds.
Your entire body ignites. Heat flares across your cheeks, your ears, all the way down your neck. You choke on your drink and duck your head, suddenly incapable of looking anywhere near Yoongi.
And still, Yoongi doesnât move. Doesnât laugh, doesnât shrug them off, doesnât roll his eyes the way he usually does.
But you feel itâa shift. A subtle double take, the weight of his gaze flicking toward you and then lingering, like heâs just realized something that doesnât quite add up.
You donât have to look to know heâs studying you, puzzled, maybe even a little thrown. Because you turned red. You.
And if youâre blushing like that⌠what does it mean?
The laughter from Jiminâs jab keeps bouncing around the room, Taehyung dramatically fanning himself like he just witnessed something scandalous.
âSave it for after the cake,â Jin calls from the kitchen, smirking as he disappears back to check the oven.
âCake?â you echo, desperate for any subject change. âThereâs no cake.â
âThere will be,â Jin sing-songs.
Hoseok leans forward, grinning. âBet Yoongi already has flavors picked out for you.â
That earns another round of oohs and whistles, the group loving the way your face heats even more.
âI do not,â Yoongi mutters, voice flat as stone. But his arm stays stretched casually along the back of the couch, and you swear you can feel the weight of his gaze still lingering on you even as the conversation shifts.
Jungkook slaps his thigh, cackling. âThis is my favorite game. Tease them until one of them breaks.â
âIâll give it a month before they admit it,â Jimin adds, wiggling his eyebrows. âSoulmates can only play dumb for so long.â
âStop calling us that,â you groan, pressing your palms to your cheeks.
Taehyung gasps theatrically. âOh my god, she didnât deny it this time!â
The room explodes again, everyone talking at onceâbets being made, exaggerated wedding toasts being shouted, Jungkook offering to DJ your âfirst dance.â
You bury your face in your drink, wishing the floor would open up and swallowâjust youâwhole. But out of the corner of your eye, you catch it: Yoongiâs lips twitch. Not a laugh, not reallyâbut something close.
And though he doesnât say a word, you can feel the undercurrent humming between you, sharper than itâs ever been.
But the chaos doesnât really settle until Jin emerges from the kitchen with a dish towel over his shoulder and announces, âAlright, everybody out. Iâve got to work in the morning and youâre all too loud.â
Groans and protests ripple through the room, but one by one the boys start gathering their things. Hoseok is still humming an obnoxious melody about soulmates, Namjoon rubbing his temples as he walks to the door, Taehyung swears heâs bringing balloons to your âsurprise-not-surpriseâ party, and Jimin smirks like heâs got ammo for the next week.
You stand, smoothing your shirt, trying to will the redness from your cheeks. Yoongi rises beside you, stretching lazily like none of this touched him at all.
But inside?
Inside, he knows the truth.
Heâll never admit itânot to them, not to youâbut he doesnât actually hate it when the group teases you both. He pretends to roll his eyes, pretends heâs annoyed, but secretly⌠secretly he loves it. Loves the way they say âsoulmatesâ like itâs obvious, loves the way you fluster and stumble through denials.
Because maybe thatâs what it would be like if you were his.
If he didnât keep everything locked behind his ribs. If he could reach out and claim what he wants without losing the comfort of what you already are. The way the others laugh and teaseâitâs the closest glimpse heâll ever get at what life might look like if he was allowed to have you.
And so he lets them tease. Because dreaming is safer than losing you.
On the way out, your shoulders brush in the narrow doorway. Your sleeve skims his arm, and the static crackles all the way down to his fingertips. You look up, meeting his eyes for half a second before glancing away, flustered again.
Yoongi swallows hard, shoving his hands into his pockets. For a moment he doesnât trust himself to speak, doesnât trust the way the words might come out.
But when you turn to him at the door, pulling your jacket tighter around you, you give him that small smileâthe one that always cuts through himâand say softly, âGoodnight, Yoongi.â
His throat works, tight, but he manages a low reply. âNight. Get home safe.â
You nod, slip out into the breezeway of Jinâs complex, and the sound of the door clicking shut behind you feels louder than it should.
Yoongi lingers there for a beat longer, staring at the space you just occupied. He needs to breathe for a second. He inhales deep, then exhales slow and quiet, and heads out into the night with one thought looping through his head.
If blushing means you like me⌠then maybe Iâm already too far gone.
Itâs Wednesday night when your phone buzzes. Youâre curled up on your bed, laptop open but untouched, scrolling mindlessly until the notification flashes.
yoon: You figured out what youâre wearing yet?
You blink, reread it twice. Yoongi doesnât usually care about that kind of thing.
you: For what?
yoon: âŚyour birthday. The one Taeâs been yelling about all week.
you: Oh. That.
you: Iâm not picking out anything special.
yoon: Why not.
you: Because itâs not that serious.
Thereâs a pause. You can almost see him on the other side of the screen, thumb hovering, brow furrowed like heâs trying to phrase something without giving too much away.
yoon: You should. Pick something that makes you feel good.
you: You sound like Hobi.
yoon: Hobi would tell you to wear sequins or some shit. Iâm saying just⌠donât downplay it.
Your chest tightens. He always sees it, the way you try to shrink yourself.
you: Are you seriously texting me about clothes right now?
yoon: Somebody has to. Donât want you showing up in your office hoodie.
You bite back a smile, fingers tapping before you can stop yourself.
you: That hoodie is a classic.
yoon: Itâs fucking tragic.
You laugh, low in your throat, and set the phone down for a second to breathe. Itâs not much, just a string of texts about nothing. But the warmth in your chest lingers long after the screen goes dark.
The Birthday Party
Namjoon pulls up to the curb like your chauffeur, killing the engine and getting out to walk around and open the passenger door for you. He looks half amused, half resigned as you climb out, tugging at the hem of your dress.
âJust so you know,â he says, offering his arm with mock formality, âI briefed you in the car, but⌠Iâm apologizing again in advance. Jimin and Tae went feral with this party.â
You laugh, slipping your hand into the crook of his elbow. âHow bad can it be?â
The answer greets you the second your heels hit the red carpeted stairs.
It looks like New Yearâs Eve collided with a music video shoot. Glittering lights spill down from the awning, a velvet rope corrals guests into the entrance, and inside the glass doors you can already see the crowd â everyone dressed to kill, champagne glasses flashing under the chandeliers.
Your jaw slackens. âThis is⌠a birthday party?â
âYour birthday party,â Namjoon corrects, grimacing. âTae literally said, âIf she doesnât walk in and feel like the hottest girl in Seoul, then whatâs even the point.ââ
You bite back a nervous laugh, tugging your dress down again. The dress you picked is short, tight, the kind of outfit your parents would faint over. But youâd looked in the mirror earlier and thought of Yoongiâs words â pick something that makes you feel good â and this was it. Bold, a little reckless, enough skin showing to make you feel powerful.
As you walk up the stairs, gripping Namjoonâs arm for balance, he leans down with a smirk.
âYou know heâs gonna freak, right?â
Your stomach flips. You donât even have to ask who. But you do anyway. âWhat?â
Namjoon chuckles, low. âI mean⌠he wonât show it. Not on his face. But internally? Yoongiâs gonna be strangling himself when he sees you in that dress, Y/N.â
Heat rushes to your cheeks, and you turn your face toward the glittering doors before he can notice. You tell yourself heâs exaggerating, teasing like always. But the flutter in your chest wonât stop.
Because part of you wondersâmaybe hopesâheâs right.
The second the doors open, sound swallows you whole. Music pumps from hidden speakers, bass rattling in your chest, laughter and voices layered so thick itâs dizzying. Chandeliers glitter overhead, catching on sequins and champagne glasses, and everywhere you look there are people â people you donât know, people dressed like theyâre waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square, people who definitely donât belong at a party for you.
Itâs too much. Too big. Exactly what Taehyung and Jimin would think is perfect.
You paste on a smile as Namjoon steers you through the crowd, murmuring greetings to familiar faces. But your eyes keep wandering, scanning, searching every corner. You donât even realize how obvious it is â the way youâre subconsciously hunting for him. For Yoongi.
Your Yoongi.
Instead, youâre intercepted first by Hoseok, who comes practically skipping across the room, sequined jacket catching the light with every step. âBirthday girl!â He pulls you into a hug that smells like cologne and champagne, then holds you at armâs length. His grin widens. âDamn, you look good.â
âToo good,â another voice chimes in, and Jungkook slides up with a glass in each hand. He passes one to Hoseok before adjusting the lapels of his sharp black suit like he knows he looks incredible. âHappy birthday, Y/N.â
You laugh, heat blooming in your cheeks as Jungkook tips his glass toward your dress in approval. âWow. You two actually clean up nice.â
Hoseok gasps in mock offense, pressing a hand to his chest. âExcuse youâI always look good.â
Jungkook just smirks, boyish and smug. âBut admit it. Weâre killing it tonight.â
You shake your head, laughing again, but your gaze is already drifting over their shoulders, past the glitter and noise, through the sea of strangers.
Still no sign of him. What the fuck.
And that unsettles you more than you want to admit.
Namjoon still hasnât let go of your arm, playing the role of dutiful escort as he weaves you through the crowd of bodies toward a literal tower of champagne flutes stacked high like something out of a luxury gala.
How hard did Jimin and Tae go for this party?
You let out a breathless laugh. âYouâve got to be kidding me.â
âNot my idea,â Namjoon mutters, steering you into the line. âI told youâIâm just here as damage control.â
He plucks two glasses from the table and hands you one. The bubbles tickle your nose as you take a careful sip, the taste sharp and sweet on your tongue.
And thenâ
âBirthday girl!â
The greeting comes in stereo, Jiminâs high-pitched cheer layered with Taehyungâs deep drawl. They appear together like they rehearsed it, grins wide and eyes bright.
Jimin immediately pulls you into a hug, nearly sloshing champagne down both of your outfits. âHappy birthday, gorgeous!â
You hug him back, âThank you, guys.â
âLook at you,â Taehyung adds, spinning you lightly by the wrist so he can take in your whole outfit. âShort, shiny, and scandalous. And honestly? Exactly what I envisioned.â
You laugh, cheeks heating, trying to tuck yourself back under Namjoonâs arm like a fucking shield. âThis is⌠insane. All of this.â
âInsane in a good way,â Jimin insists, bouncing on his toes. âTell me you love it!â
You look aroundâat the chandeliers, the glittering crowd, the champagne tower sparkling in the lightâand your chest squeezes. Itâs too much. But they did it for you. Because they care.
âI do,â you admit, soft and honest. âI love it. Thank you.â
Jimin beams. Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows. And for a moment, the noise of the party fades under the weight of how lucky you are to have them.
Still, as you take another sip of champagne, your eyes wander past their shoulders, scanning the crowd again. Looking for the one person who hasnât shown up yet.
Where could he be? Is he even here? Why isnât he with the guys?
Youâre half-caught in your head and Taehyungâs theatrics when a familiar voice cuts through the noise.
âThereâs my birthday girl.â
Jin appears with a glass in hand, tailored blazer sharp enough to make him look like he owns the place. He leans down to press a quick kiss to the top of your head, then straightens and claps Namjoon on the shoulder. âGood to see you, Joon. Thanks for keeping her in one piece.â
Namjoon huffs a laugh. âDoing my best.â
Jinâs eyes drop to your dress, and he sighs the way only Jin canâlong-suffering, dramatic, equal parts fond and exasperated. âThis is what you wore?â
You flush, tugging at the hem. âDonât start. Itâs fine.â
âItâs your birthday, so Iâll allow it,â he says, lips twitching. âBut if your parents ever see photos⌠I donât know you.â
You laugh, shaking your head, but then the words tumble out before you can stop them. âHey, have you seen Yoongi?â
Beside you, Namjoon tensesâso subtle anyone else would miss it, but you donât. You feel it in the shift of his arm under your hand. Like he wasnât expecting the question.
Jinâs smile falters just slightly. His eyes flick to Namjoon, then back to you, a worried crease forming between his brows. âNot yet,â he says after a beat. âBut⌠donât worry about him. Just keep enjoying your party, okay?â
Your stomach twists. The easy warmth of the moment curdles, a faint unease threading through it.
That was fucking weird.
The night spins forward in a blur.
You let Jimin and Taehyung drag you to the dance floor, Hoseok already in the center hyping the crowd like itâs a concert. Namjoon groans but still sways dutifully beside you, Jin waves a champagne flute overhead like heâs at a wedding, and Jungkook spins you until you nearly trip over your own heels.
Itâs ridiculous. Chaotic. Too much. And yet, with your friends circling you in glitter and laughter, you feel lighter than you expected.
Thenâa shiver down your spine. The sense of eyes on you.
You glance up, scanning past the lights, past the crowd. And then you see him.
Yoongi.
Heâs on the second-floor balcony, leaning casually on the rail, a champagne flute hanging from one hand. His long dark hair curls around his face, catching in the glow of the chandelier, and his gaze is lockedâgluedâto you.
Your chest stutters. It feels like time itself stutters. The music, the noise, the laughterâit all dims under the weight of his stare.
And you smile. The biggest smile youâve smiled all night, wide and uncontainable. Like gravity pulling you in one direction only.
Your smile is already lifting when something inside it snags.
Because you see himâand then you see her.
Sheâs half-turned toward him, shoulder angled into his space like she belongs there, a thin gold chain glinting at her throat. Close. Comfortable-close. The kind of close that says this isnât the first minute theyâve been standing like that.
Yoongi is looking at you.
But heâs talking to her.
His mouth movesâsomething low, something easyâand she watches him like sheâs used to the gravity he creates, like it doesnât pull her apart the way it threatens to pull you apart right now. When she laughs, itâs a soft curve of sound you canât hear over the bass, and his lips answer with the ghost of a smile.
He doesnât look like he doesnât want to be there.
Your stomach goes cold, then hot, then cold again.
Taehyung spins you by the wrist, oblivious. âBirthday girl! Stop zoning out, youâre killing my groove.â
You snap your gaze away from the balcony so fast your neck twinges. âIâm not zoning out.â
âLiar,â Jimin sings, popping up at your other side and fitting his palms to your shoulders from behind, swaying you on beat. âThis is your party. Eyes on us, miss maâam.â
âYeah,â you say, too bright, too quick. âEyes on you.â
You force your body to move. To laugh at something Jungkook says. To let Hoseok spin you out into a loop you nearly botch because your heels are not designed for this much enthusiasm. You let Jimin tilt your chin and quip about how youâre âglowingâ and âdevastatingâ and âa menace,â and you pretend the whole time that the top of your skull isnât buzzing with the exact shape of the womanâs hand where it rests on the balcony rail, three inches from Yoongiâs wrist.
Ignore him. Ignore that.
The music surges, a chorus that rattles the floor, and you pour your attention into the only thing you can control: the way your head tips back when you laugh, the way your hips find the bass line, the way your dress catches the light like itâs armor.
Namjoon leans in at your ear, voice pitched under the noise. âYou okay?â
You donât hesitate. âOf course.â Your smile stretches just a little too tight. âItâs great.â
He studies you for a beatâhe always has been annoyingly perceptiveâbut then he nods like heâs not going to pry here, not now. âIf you need air, tug my sleeve.â
âI wonât,â you say, and you mean it like a challenge to yourself.
You donât look back up at the balcony. You do not.
Except your body betrays you in small ways: the way your pulse stutters when the chandelier light shifts; the way your head tilts a fraction, as if lining up your peripheral vision with the stretch of the upper rail. You keep your focus fixed on Hoseokâs ridiculous body roll and Taehyungâs scandalized gasp at Jungkookâs footwork, and still you feel itâa prickling heat along your cheek like a spotlight.
Heâs still looking.
You wonât give him the satisfaction.
âShots,â Jimin declares, because heâs a menace and because the universe has a sense of humor. âItâs illegal not to do birthday shots.â
Before you can protest, a tray materializesâHoseok works miraclesâand you let them press a glass into your hand. Clear. Mean. The kind of burn that will either cauterize the jealousy or make it liquefy and pour out your eyes.
âTo the hottest girl in Seoul,â Taehyung intones, scandalously sincere.
âTo sequins,â Hoseok declares, glittering under the lights.
âTo,â Jungkook smirks, âtelling anyone who flirts with you that theyâre not on the guest list.â
âPlease stop,â you groan, but your grin slips in anyway, helpless.
You fling your gaze straight at the bottom of the shot glass and tip it back. The burn is instant, bright, a clean white-out that blurs the edges of your thoughts. When it hits your stomach, the heat spreads. It helps.
âAgain,â Jimin threatens.
âNo,â Namjoon says, parental. âLater.â
âTraitor,â Jimin pouts, already winking at the bartender for later.
You move. Harder now. Itâs easier to outrun a feeling than to look it in the face. You dance like you owe your body something, like you can sweat this out, like the bass can be a wall.
Someone bumps your shoulder in the crowd and murmurs an apology; someone else asks if you want a drink; a stranger in a too-tight shirt tries to sidle in closer until Jungkook simply appears, big-brothering him with a smile thatâs all teeth. Your friends orbit you, constellation-steady, but even with all that, thereâs a slice of cold aware in your ribsâbecause you can feel him, the way you can feel a storm before it breaks.
You do not look.
You laugh at something Jin says when he finally decides to return to the dance floor, his hand slicing through the air as he reenacts Namjoon banning kimchi, and you let that laughter sit bright on your mouth, weaponized. Youâre fine. Youâre glittering. Youâre busy.
âBack in two,â you shout to nobody in particular, tapping your chest and miming a sip. You need water. The good kindâflat, unassuming. Something to anchor your mouth around that isnât his name.
At the edge of the floor, the air thins a little. The bar is a line of elbows and straws and clinking glass, but the bartender spots your wave and slides you a highball of blessedly clear water like youâre a favorite regular. You take two grateful pulls and press the cold glass to the underside of your jaw.
âHappy birthday,â someone says at your left.
You turn your head. Itâs the woman from the balcony.
Up close, sheâs even more composed. Winged liner like a threat, lipstick that doesnât dare smudge, a dress that looks like it was sewn on. Sheâs taller than you by a breath in her heels, and her perfume is a soft, expensive thing that settles around you like a verdict.
You find your manners where you dropped them. âThank you.â
âTaehyung outdid himself,â she says, amused. Her gaze flicks over your shoulder, toward the floor, past it. Not calculatingâcataloguing. âYou look beautiful.â
âThanks,â you answer, neutral, careful. âEnjoying the party?â
Her mouth tilts. âI am now.â
You take another drink of water to cover the sound your throat makes.
âIâm Sori,â she adds, offering her name like a business card.
You give her yours, because what else are you going to do? Pretend names donât exist?
She nods, as if checking a box in her head. âIâve heard a lot about you.â
Your heartbeat trips over itself. âFromâŚ?â
âFrom everyone,â she says lightly. âSmall universe.â
You let out a sound that is not a laugh but would like to be when it grows up. âYeah.â
Silence stitches between you, quick and neat. She doesnât fill it. She just lets it sit there, poised, like she knows exactly how long to wait before it starts to itch.
âYoongi mentioned the humor,â she says finally, as if sheâs commenting on the weather. âHe was right.â
The glass sweats against your palm. âHe talks a lot for someone so quiet.â
âThatâs the trick.â She lifts her own drinkâchampagne, of courseâand tips it toward you, gaze steady. âHappy birthday.â
You clink without looking away. âThanks.â
She leaves you thereâmercifullyâwith her perfume and the ghost of her smile, threading back toward the stairs with an unhurried confidence that makes you want to kick something. She doesnât have to look over her shoulder to know if heâs still where she left him. People like that never do.
You exhale hard, set the water down, and march yourself back into the heat of the dance floor like itâs a battlefield. Namjoon clocks your expression in a second and lifts a brow. You shake your head, a tiny, surgical movement. Later.
Jimin latches onto your hand and spins you again, yelling something about âchorus!â and âarms!â over the music, and you let him, because this is what you can control: the angle of your wrist, the slice of your smile, the decision to keep your eyes anywhere but up.
You feel Yoongi like static earlier; now itâs a low-voltage hum under your skin. You donât have to see him to know heâs moved. You donât have to look to know heâs closer.
You wonât look.
âYo,â Jungkook shouts in your ear, breathless, grinning. âYouâre on fire. Whoever breaks your heart is gonna die.â
âBold of you to assume itâs breakable,â you throw back, dry, and Jungkook howls like you just body-slammed a line of defense.
Hoseok plants a feather-light kiss to your temple when he passes behind you. Jin shouts, âShots later, water now,â like a dad. Taehyung declares that heâs stealing you for a âbirthday twirl,â and you let him tug you three steps left, pivot, laugh, pivot againâ
âand then you stop.
Because you know the shape of that stillness. It has a weight all its own.
You can feel him at the edge of your orbit before he says your name.
âHey.â
It lands low, built for just you, a thread through the noise. You donât turn for a full heartbeat. You finish the step youâre in, hand still in Taehyungâs, then you let go and face him because pretending to be oblivious in a three-foot radius is a different kind of embarrassing.
Yoongi stands there in a black suit that fits like a decision, hair ink-dark and loose around his face, the chandelier picking out lines of silver at his wrist and throat. The room could vanish and it would still feel too bright.
His eyes are on your mouth, then your dress, then your eyes, and he does not disguise the part where he has to swallow. The sound is swallowed by the bass, but you see it in the cut of his throat.
âHappy birthday,â he says.
Your smile is neat. Unbothered. âThanks.â
A beat. You donât ask why heâs late. You donât ask who she is. You donât ask anything. Youâre not giving him that.
He studies your face like heâs trying to solve a song heâs heard a thousand times and canât quite play.
âYou lookâŚâ He searches for a word and discards five. ââŚgood.â
âYeah?â you say, and let your mouth tilt. âMust be the lighting.â
It lands and he almost smilesâalmostâbut something shadows his eyes when he realizes youâre not stepping into the usual rhythm, not handing him the joke and the soft landing. He shifts, just enough that your shoulders almost brush.
âYou met Sori,â he says finally. Not a question.
You look over his shoulder at nothing at all. âShe met me.â
âSheâsââ He stops, tiny, and you watch him pick between truths. ââJinâs friend.â
âEveryoneâs friend tonight,â you say lightly. âYouâre popular.â
His jaw flexes like he wants to bite the word in half before it gets to you. âItâs not like that.â
You lift your brows. âI didnât say it was.â
Another beat. The bass thumps. Taehyung spins by with a finger-gun and zero chill. Jin is arguing with the bartender about cake plates. Jimin is mouthing, Tell him heâs hot, at you across three bodies because he wants to die.
Yoongi tilts his head, searching your face. âYouâre mad.â
You laugh, genuine and bright and a little sharp. âItâs my birthday, Yoongi. I donât have time to be mad.â
âJealous, then,â he says quietly.
Your smile doesnât change. âOf who?â
He flinches at thatânot visibly, not for anyone else, but you feel it like a ripple under your feet. For a heartbeat his mouth opens like heâs going to say something he canât unsay. Then he closes it, looks down, looks back.
âDance with me,â he says.
You let the smallest silence bloom. You weigh everything inside itâhis eyes, the ghost of the balcony, the womanâs perfume, your own stupid heart, the fact that all of your friends are absolutely watching this from the corners of their eyes and pretending theyâre not.
You tip your chin toward the crowd, neutral as gravity. âIâm busy.â
Itâs soft. Itâs nothing. It hits him like a door.
He nods, once. Slow. Like he deserves it. Maybe he thinks he does.
âOkay,â he says, and steps back.
You turn away before your mouth can do something reckless. You catch Namjoonâs gaze over Hoseokâs shoulder, and he only inclines his headâonce, commander-calm, weâll talk later written in the lines of his mouth.
Jungkook reappears like a wall, grinning, hands up. âCâmon, birthday menace. Show me that murder footwork.â
You do. You move. You laugh too loud at something that isnât funny and throw your arms up when the chorus hits and let Taehyung spin you until youâre dizzy. You let Jimin scream-sing into your ear and Hoseok beam like a lighthouse and Jin scold you for forgetting hydration. You pretend the entire time that you cannot feel the heat of a gaze trailing the edge of your orbit like a planet that refuses to admit itâs caught.
You donât look back up at the balcony.
You donât look when he disappears into the crowd.
You donât look when, two songs later, the lights dim for cake and everyone howls your name and Jin marches forward with a confection so extra it probably has a birth certificate.
You breathe in. You breathe out. You lean into the noise and the sugar and the sparkler-bright chorus of voices.
You make a wish you refuse to name. And you keep your eyes closed a second longer than you need to, because for one more second, you donât have to see whoâs standing where when you open them.
The garden hits like a slapâcold air and the smell of damp earth, hedges trimmed within an inch of their lives, fairy lights strung in polite arcs that make everything look softer than it feels. The bass from inside is a heartbeat through the walls. Your own heartbeat is doing its own fucked-up drum solo.
Bench. Cold. Good. You drop onto it like youâve been thrown, palms on either side of your thighs, eyes squinting up at a sky that refuses to stand still.
âMotherfucker,â you mutter to no one in particular, lips tingling where that strangerâs mouth was a minute ago. Did you say yes? You said âmmm.â Thatâs not yes. Thatâs⌠not words. Your stomach flips. You swallow it down with the aftertaste of liquor and sugar and something bitter you refuse to name.
Gravel crunches. Footsteps. Then:
âY/N.â
Namjoonâs voice folds around your name like a blanket you didnât ask for but kind of needed anyway. He steps into the spill of fairy lights, tie loosened, blazer open, worry etched neat between his brows.
âYou shouldnât be out here by yourself,â he says, already shrugging out of his jacket.
You try for breezy and land somewhere near winded. âIâm communing with nature.â
He drapes the jacket over your shoulders before you can protest. Itâs warm from his body; you burrow without meaning to. âWhy didnât you come find me?â
You roll your head toward him, slow with the spin of the stars. âI didnât want to cockblock your⌠whatever that was with the bartender about poetry.â
He huffs, half a laugh, mostly exhale. Then he crouches in front of you so you donât have to chase his face with your eyes. âWhat happened?â
âNothing,â you lie, perfectly, beautifully.
âTry again.â
âSome dude asked if he could kiss me,â you say, airy, like it was weather. âAnd I said âmmm.â And then he kissed me.â
Namjoonâs jaw does a thing. âWhere is he.â
âRelax, Kim Heights. Heâs probably back in there telling his friends he blessed the birthday girl.â Your laugh scrapes your throat. âIâm fine.â
âAre you.â
âYep.â You pop the p. âJust needed air. And fewer mouths.â
His eyes search your faceâsmudged lipstick, glitter on your cheekbone, the stubborn set of your mouth. âDo you want me to get him thrown out?â
You shake your head. Regret that decision immediately because the sky cartwheels. You catch the bench with both hands, breathe through it. âNo bouncers. No scene. Please.â
He nods once, shifts, then reaches into his pocket and produces a small plastic bottle like heâs a magician. âWater.â
âHave you been hoarding hydration?â
âJimin will over-serve you just to prove he can. I plan ahead.â He twists the cap and hands it to you. âSip.â
You do. Itâs blessedly cold, the kind of clean that slices through fog. You let it sit on your tongue before you swallow, like you can wash the taste of someone elseâs decision out of your mouth.
Namjoon watches you drink, then tilts his head. âJimin told you.â
âAbout?â You keep your eyes on the hedge line like itâs very interesting.
âBalcony? Sori?â
You shrug, small under his jacket. âHe tells me lots of things.â
âDoes it bother you?â he asks, gentle, like someone picking up a glass shard with two fingers.
You snort. âNo. Why would it. Itâs his life.â
âRight.â
You scrape your heel against the gravel, little crescent moons appearing where your shoe skids. âShe has very sharp eyeliner,â you add, as if thatâs neutral. âCould cut a man.â
Namjoonâs mouth twitches. âYouâre allowed to be pissed.â
âI am allowed to be unbothered,â you counter, too fast. You tip the bottle back again. âLook at me. Unbothered.â
He lets the lie sit down beside you without challenging it. Thatâs the thing about Namjoonâhe knows when to hold a mirror and when to cover it. He shifts from a crouch to sitting at your side, angled so you donât have to move.
âYou want to go home?â he asks after a beat. âIâll get the car.â
Your chest tightens in a way that has nothing to do with glitter or alcohol. âItâs my party.â
âAnd we can leave it,â he says, steady. âYou donât owe the room your body.â
You stare at the fairy lights until they double, then settle. âMaybe⌠in a minute.â
He nods, elbows on his knees, hands clasped, the picture of patience. The bass inside thrums through the soil; a night breeze lifts the hair at your temple, cools the heat at your throat.
Gravel again. Another set of footsteps. You donât have to see him to know; your bones clock him like weather changing.
Yoongi stops at the mouth of the garden path, darkness and chandelier glow cutting him into edges. Black suit. Hands in his pockets like he doesnât trust them. His eyes find you first, then flick to Namjoonâs jacket on your shoulders, then drop quick to your mouth. Something tightens, minute, in his face.
âJoon,â he says, a greeting thatâs also a question.
âHey,â Namjoon answers, just as neutral. Then he stands, a wall thatâs also a door. âShe needed air.â
Yoongi nods. His gaze tracks back to you, lingering like heâs bracing for impact. âYou okay?â
You take your time answering. Lift the water bottle. Tip it like a toast. âPeachy.â
He absorbs the dryness without flinching. âYou disappeared.â
âPeople do that when theyâre magicians,â you say. âOr when theyâre bored. Or when a stranger confuses a non-vowel sound for consent.â
Silence slices clean. Namjoonâs head whips toward you. Yoongi goes very, very still.
âWho,â Yoongi says. Not loud. Stripped.
âI handled it,â you reply, eyes on the hedge. âWith my legs. I walked away. See? Fully functional.â
Yoongiâs jaw moves like heâs grinding a thought down to powder. âWhat did he look like.â
âLike a man I wonât think about again,â you say, flat. âDrop it.â
Namjoon lifts a hand, a quiet stall. âWeâll deal with it if you want us to.â
âI donât,â you snap, and regret the snap, and let the sigh chase it out. âI donât want this to be a thing. I want to sit on this cold bench and not be a headline at my own party.â
The men exchange a look. A whole conversation passes between them in the tightness around their mouths.
Namjoon inhales, decides something. âIâm getting the car,â he says, and when you open your mouth, he adds, âYou can decide in sixty seconds if youâre getting in it. If you want to go back in, Iâll walk you. If you want to leave, Iâll drive. Either way, Iâm retrieving it because the valet system here is a hellscape.â
You huff a laugh despite yourself. âCowardâs way of giving me an out.â
âGuilty.â He squeezes your shoulder over his jacket, a pressure that says Iâve got you either way. Then he steps past Yoongi, pauses just long enough to stare him down with brotherly menace, and disappears up the path.
The garden hums. Distant laughter. A bottle clinks somewhere inside. A moth flutters idiotically at a light.
Yoongi doesnât sit. He steps closer, then stops like the air itself is a boundary heâs not sure he can cross. âYou shouldnât have to deal with that,â he says, low, like itâs a fact and not a feeling.
âWelcome to women,â you reply, dry. âWe get party favors.â
His mouth twitches like he wants to be sick. âIâmââ He cuts off, jaw working. âI shouldâveââ
âBeen glued to my side all night?â You tilt your head, smile like a blade. âYou seemed busy.â
He takes that hit, doesnât try to dodge. âI was an idiot.â
âCool,â you say, light. âAdd it to the list.â
He finally moves, sits on the far end of the bench like heâs respecting a no-manâs-land only you can cross. For a moment, neither of you speaks. The fairy lights buzz faintly, a sound youâve never noticed until now.
âI saw you on the balcony,â you say after a beat, because alcohol makes a coward brave and a brave person reckless. âJimin says you went up there the second you got here.â
He exhales through his nose. âI did.â A beat. âI saw you first.â
You bark out a laugh. âRomantic. You saw me, then went the other way.â
âI panicked,â he says, honest in a way that makes your blood run hot and cold. âYou lookedââ He stops. Shakes his head. âI didnât trust myself not to say something I canât take back. Sori said hi on my way to the stairs. Thatâs all.â
You force yourself to ignore the way your heart flutters hearing the confession he quickly buried.
You stare at the gravel. A moth finally gives up on the light and flutters to the hedge. âShe met me, too.â
His head snaps, eyes sharp. âWhat did she say.â
âThat you talk about me,â you say, careful. You roll the cap of the water bottle between your fingers. âThat Iâm funny.â
He looks at the ground, then at you, like the angle might change the truth. âI do talk about you.â
Your laugh is softer this time, and it hates you for it. âDonât.â
âDonât what.â
âDonât say shit like that when Iâm drunk,â you murmur, tipping your head back against the bench slat. The stars blur into smeared city glow. âIâll think it means something tomorrow.â
He goes quiet. Not emptyâfull. Brimming with all the words he keeps barricaded behind his teeth. When he speaks, itâs careful, like stepping across thin ice. âIt means something tonight.â
Your throat works. You swallow, water useless against that kind of heat. âYouâre late.â
âI know.â
âAnd youâre stupid.â
âI know.â
âAnd Iâm not a back-up plan.â
His voice doesnât waver. âYou never were.â
You look at him then. Really look. The shadowed cut of his jaw. The suit that fits like he put it on to keep himself together. The way his hands are fisted in his pockets because if they werenât, heâd be reaching.
âNamjoonâs gonna be back in, like, thirty seconds,â you say, because time is a thing you can hold when everything else slips. âHeâs going to ask me if I want to leave.â
Yoongi nods once. âDo you?â
You let the question sit in the cold, let it fog, let it clear. You think of Soriâs perfume. Of a strangerâs mouth. Of the bench and the fairy lights and the way your name sounded when he said Hey in a room that was screaming.
âI want to not be in there,â you admit. âI donât know what I want beyond that.â
âOkay,â he says, immediate, no argument threaded anywhere in it.
You look back at the path, the slice of light where the building breathes out party heat. âIf I go,â you add, voice low, âIâm not doing it so you can play knight. Iâm doing it because I donât want to be watched while I figure out whether Iâm allowed to be mad at you.â
His mouth tips, bruised at the edges. âYouâre allowed.â
âCool,â you say, eyes stinging with something you refuse to call anything. âIâm mad.â
Gravel again. Namjoon appears, keys raised like a flag. âValet miracle,â he announces softly, taking in the scene with a generalâs calm. âCarâs out front.â
He looks at you. Not at Yoongi. You.
âWhatâs the move, birthday girl?â
You breathe in. You breathe out. The bench is cold. The stars are still spinning, but slower now.
âIâm going home,â you say. âWith Joon.â
A flicker crosses Yoongiâs faceâpain, quickly leashed. He nods like itâs the only correct answer. âText me when youâre safe.â
You slide Namjoonâs jacket tighter around you and stand. Your knees wobble; Namjoon is there without making a fuss of it. You take two steps, then pause, turn, and find Yoongiâs eyes in the half-light.
âTomorrow,â you say, the word heavy as a promise you havenât decided if youâll keep. âDonât be late.â
His exhale is almost a laugh, almost a prayer. âOkay.â
You turn and let Namjoon guide you up the path. Behind you, Yoongi sits very still on a bench that remembers your weight, fists his hands tighter in his pockets, and stares at the fairy lights until they buzz like a confession.
The night air is cool against your flushed skin, the thud of bass from the party muffled now, like itâs trapped inside a different universe. Namjoon keeps pace with you, his strides long and steady, his voice filling the quiet.
ââŚlike, honestly, who needs three champagne towers? Itâs not a wedding. And donât get me started on the playlistâTaehyung thinks heâs a DJ but he only knows five songs. Five. Songs.â He huffs out a laugh, running a hand through his hair. âThe bartender was cute, though. Kept quoting poetry at me when he pouredâcan you believe that? Like, Rilke over rum. Wild.â
You let him talk, words washing over you, but your mind isnât with him.
Itâs back in the garden.
On the bench.
On Yoongi.
You tell yourself youâre not madâwhat right do you even have? He doesnât owe you anything. He came, he mingled, he spent time with people. He was allowed to smile at someone else. Allowed to stand too close to someone else.
But it was your night. Your birthday.
And he wasnât really with you.
He wasnât at your side for the cake. He wasnât laughing in the circle of friends when Jimin made you blush. He wasnât with you when Jungkook spun you so hard you nearly fell. All the little pieces that were supposed to add up to tonightâthe you-and-him piecesâhe wasnât in them.
And maybe thatâs what hurts.
Because it feels like the night was supposed to be about you. But youâre walking away feeling like it wasnât.
You blink, and suddenly the silver gleam of Namjoonâs car door is right in front of you. Three steps away. Namjoon is still talking, now about stanza breaks and the bartenderâs dimples, and you realize youâve barely heard a word.
He tilts his head, eyes narrowing just slightly. âBut you said you wanted to leave. You just said goodbye to everyone.â
Your stomach drops. You did? When? The thought slips through the fog of champagne and vodka like a knifeâyou donât remember saying goodbye to your friends. You were too busy in your own head, running laps around the hollow ache in your chest.
âI need to tell him, Joon.â
Your voice cracks on the words, thin and begging.
Namjoon doesnât ask who. Doesnât need to. Heâs known. Heâs known since you bought Yoongi that guitar, since you remembered a birthday you never shouldâve remembered, since you started saving your best one-liners for him and him alone.
But he shakes his head, steady, gentle. âNot tonight, Y/N. You need to go home and get in bed.â
The devastation crushes you in a sigh. Your throat burns. Your eyes prickle. âNamjoonââ your voice breaks again, and then the tears come hot, unbidden, âPlease, Iââ
âI know.â He cuts you off, but his tone is soft, like heâs carrying the weight for you. His eyes glint in the dim parking lot light. âYou donât have to tell me. I know.â
The words make your chest splinter. You want to say it anyway. Want to shout it out loud just to hear what it feels like leaving your mouth. But the look on Namjoonâs face tells you everything: save it. Save it for Yoongi.
You swallow hard, wipe at your cheeks with the back of your hand. âMaybe I can text him then?â
Namjoon exhales, long, patient. âIf you do, youâll regret it in the morning.â
âButââ
âNo buts. Not like this. Not drunk, not half crying in a parking lot. Youâll hate yourself if those words land the wrong way.â
You sag against the car door, shoulders trembling under his jacket, phone heavy in your hand like itâs burning a hole straight through your palm.
And still, the ache wonât let go. Because the truth is there, heavy and undeniable:
You donât want to go home.
You want to go back.
Back to the garden.
Back to him.
You wake up and your head is pounding, pounding, poundingâ
Fuck, what time is it?
You glance at the alarm clock on your nightstand. 11:52 a.m.
You groan, ready to roll back into the abyss, when the pounding comes again. Not from your skull this timeâfrom somewhere out in the living room.
Dragging yourself upright is an Olympic event. You crawl to the door, use the handle to haul yourself up, and silently thank the blackout curtains for saving you from spontaneous combustion. The apartment is dark, mercifully quietâuntil you unlock the front door and crack it open.
Blinding light sears your eyes. You hiss, slapping a hand up to shield your face. âAGHâfuck.â
Blink, blink, blink. And thenâ
Yoongi.
Heâs standing there, hair swept back casually, black hoodie, dark navy jeans, and somehow he looks so fucking hot your hungover brain considers dragging him inside andâwait. Why is he here?
âCan I help you?â Your words come out sharper than intended.
âUh. I got your text. Thought you might need some water and stuff from the store.â
You blink again, this time at the plastic bags in his hands. Two of them, filled to the brim. Groceries. Supplies. Nourishment.
Text?
âI⌠texted you?â You step aside to let him in, then speed-walk back to your room, heart pounding harder than your head.
Your phone is right where you left it. You snatch it up and scroll.
You [9:48am]: might be dying. send me nourishment.
yoon [9:49am]: be there soon.
Your stomach sinks. Because you remember saying it out loud this morning. Into the void. To Siri. âHey Siri, text Joon.â Not Yoon.
The universe, apparently, had other plans.
You shuffle back, sheepish, clutching your phone like itâs the smoking gun. âAhh. My phone texted you on accident. Siri was supposed to text Joon. Not Yoon.â
He stares at you. Unreadable.
âSorry, Yoongi.â
But he just shrugs, unbothered. âAll good. Iâm here now.â
And thatâs the end of it, at least for him.
The grocery bags rustle as he sets them down on your counter like heâs done this a hundred times before. Bottled water, Gatorade, bananas, a loaf of bread, instant ramen, some kind of canned soup. Practical. Quietly thoughtful. So Yoongi it hurts.
You hover near the hallway like a feral animal half-ready to retreat. âYou didnât have toââ
âI know.â He doesnât look up, just lines the bottles on your counter. âBut you asked.â
Your throat tightens, because technically? No, you didnât. Not him, anyway. But the evidence is glowing on your phone, timestamped, undeniable.
âThanks,â you murmur, rubbing your temples.
He glances at you thenâsharp, assessingâand points at your couch. âSit.â
Itâs not a suggestion.
You shuffle over, flopping onto the cushions with a groan. The pounding in your head has synchronized with your heartbeat, steady and merciless. Yoongi appears a moment later with a cold water bottle and two painkillers, pressing them into your hands without ceremony.
âDrink.â
You obey, swallowing around the lump in your throat, wincing when the pills scrape down. The waterâs blissfully cold, shocking you back into your body.
Yoongi sits on the other end of the couch, angled toward you, one arm slung lazily over the backrest. Casual, except not at allâbecause his eyes never leave your face.
You shift under the weight of it. âYou really didnât have to come.â
His mouth quirks. Not quite a smile. âGuess I wanted to.â
The room is too quiet after that. Only the hum of your fridge, the faint city noise leaking through your blackout curtains. You fiddle with the bottle cap, unscrewing and rescrewing it, until the words tumble out before you can stop them:
âSorry about last night.â
Yoongiâs brows twitch, but he doesnât move. âWhat are you sorry for?â
You bite your lip, eyes darting away. âI donât know. Being weird. Disappearing. Getting too drunk. Take your pick.â
He leans forward, forearms on his knees, finally breaking his stillness. His voice is low, deliberate. âYou donât have to apologize for any of that.â
You risk a glance, and itâs almost worseâthe softness in his gaze, the way he looks at you like youâre something fragile he doesnât know how to hold.
And thatâs the problem, isnât it? Because you donât want to be fragile. You donât want him to carry you like glass. You want to be wanted.
Your pulse hammers. You clear your throat. âStill⌠thanks. For showing up.â
âAll good,â he says again, simple, final.
But he doesnât leave. Doesnât move. He just stays there, steady as ever, like he has all the time in the world to sit on your couch and wait for you to stop spinning.
You tip the water bottle back again, the plastic crackling against your palm. âThe roomâs not moving anymore,â you say, voice rough, âjust⌠swaying.â
âGood,â he murmurs. âMeans your stomach hates you a little less.â
Heâs still angled toward you, one knee on the cushion, hoodie soft where his forearm brushes the back of the couch. From here he smells like detergent and whatever clean thing lives in the dark fabric of his clothesâcool, familiar, a scent your body recognizes faster than your head does.
âYou brought a whole survival kit,â you add, nodding at the lined-up bottles and the bananas he peeled and then un-peeled because you said the stringy bits were âcriminal.â
âYou texted,â he answers like itâs math.
âI texted Joon,â you correct, then wince. âApparently.â
âLucky for you Siri canât spell.â
âYouâre annoying.â
His mouth twitches; he lets it die. âYou okay?â
âDefine okay.â
He watches you. Not the hungover kind of watchâno pity, no soft head tilt. He tracks your eyes, your mouth, the way your fingers worry the ridges of the bottle cap like youâre trying to sand yourself smooth.
âI shouldâve been with you,â he says.
The sentence lands heavy and simple, no preamble, like he ripped a stitch so it wouldnât fester.
You blink. âAt the party.â
âYeah.â
âYou were there,â you say, because thatâs the safe version.
âNot with you.â
It scrapes something raw. You chase it with water; it doesnât help. âWhy werenât you?â
He drags a hand over his jaw, eyes dropping to the coffee table like he can line his thoughts up next to the Gatorades. âI walked in, saw you on the floor, andââ He exhales a quiet, stuttering laugh with no humor in it. ââmy brain just⌠shorted. You lookedââ His gaze flicks back to you, sticks for a second on your mouth. ââand I got stupid. I went upstairs to get it together and then people kept talking andââ
âAnd Sori said hi,â you say, neutral as a knife laid flat.
His throat works. âShe said hi.â
Silence folds in around you. The clock on your microwave stutters out a soft electronic tick every minute; the apartmentâs old pipes clink somewhere in the wall like theyâre chewing on ice.
He leans in, forearms on his thighs now, voice low enough you feel it in your ribs. âIâm sorry I wasnât where I shouldâve been. Iâm sorry you blew out candles without me next to you. Iâm sorry you went outside alone. I shouldâve been with you.â
You want to deflectâaim a joke at his chest and watch it bounceâbut the way he says it pins you to the cushion. âWhy say it now?â
âBecause you asked me last night not to be late,â he answers, eyes steady. âAnd I donât want to be late for this.â
âFor what?â Your mouth is dry again. But you donât reach for the water.
âFor the part where I stop pretending this doesnât matter,â he says, and the words are so bare you almost flinch. âYouâreââ He swallows. âYouâre my best friend.â
Your laugh comes out thin and mean to hide the way your pulse kicks. âCongratulations, you and Namjoon can share custody.â
He almost smiles. But he doesnât. âYou know what I mean.â
âDo I?â
His gaze doesnât waver. âI hurt you yesterday.â
You look at the floor, the gray weave of the rug you bought on sale because the reviews said it hid red wine. âI hate that you can tell.â
âI hate that I gave you a reason.â
Something loosens in your chest and tightens at the same time. âThen donât do it again.â
âI wonât.â
âYou say that like you can control the future. Like itâs easy.â
âItâs not.â
You sit with that and so does he. The fridge hums in the kitchen, a car door thunks somewhere on the street. You can feel the apology vibrating in him, the unsaid parts pressing hard against the back of his teeth.
Your phone, abandoned face-down on the coffee table, gives a useless little buzz of an insignificant notification. His, tucked into the front pocket of his hoodie, is quiet.
âYou know,â you say, softer now, âI didnât even want a party.â
âYeah, I know.â
âBut the one thing I did want wasâŚâ You stop yourself, throat hot, eyes stinging. Feeling a little ridiculous right now.
âMe there,â he finishes, no triumph in it, only truth.
You meet his eyes and hate that theyâre careful. âYeah. Thatâs what I was looking forward to. And where were you?â
He shakes his head, slow. âNot there.â
âThen say it again. Properly this time,â you push, because you want to hear him choose it twice. âWhat youâre sorry for.â
âIâm sorry I wasnât with you,â he says, steady. âIâm sorry I let the party swallow me when I shouldâve found you. Iâm sorry that I made you wonder if you mattered more than the people I was with.â
Your living room holds the words like they might break if it breathes too hard.
You drag a fingertip along the sweating ridge of your water bottle. âOkay.â
âOkay?â
âItâs a start.â
His shoulders drop a fraction, tension leaking out like air from a pinhole. âIâll take a start.â
âHey! Donât get cocky.â
âI wouldnât dream of it.â
Youâre about to say something reckless and small and yoursâsomething about how you would have let him hold the sparkler while you made your wishâwhen a low vibration murmurs against denim.
He glances down. The sound is so quiet it could be the building creaking, but you feel the shift in his focus like a draft under a door. He fishes his phone out, checks the screen with that same careful face he wears when he listens to a half-finished demo.
He hits decline.
The buzz dies.
You watch his thumb hover a second too long over the glass, as if his finger can erase a name. He tucks the phone back into his pocket, looks up at you, opens his mouthâ
The phone vibrates again. Louder now, insistent, trapped in fabric. He doesnât move at first, like not acknowledging it might starve it of oxygen. It keeps ringing, patient and relentless.
âDo you need to get that?â you ask, voice very calm, like youâre asking if he needs a coaster.
âNo,â he says, just as calm.
The ring keeps threading between you.
âWho is it?â You tip your head, trying for breezy, landing on brittle.
âDoesnât matter.â
âHumor me.â
He shakes his head, jaw tight. The buzz goes on, familiar rhythm looping, and something inside you decides itâs done being polite. You reach forward, fingers wrapping around his wrist where the cuff of his hoodie meets warm skin.
âLet me see.â
He stills. Not resistingâshocked still. The privacy reflex hits late; youâve already slid your hand down, already dipped your fingers into the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie like you own the right, already brushed knuckles to glass.
The screen flares up against your palm.
Itâs only four letters. White text, black background, neat little vibration under your hand like the phone itself is smug about it.
Sori.
You donât even really know her. Didnât know she existed until last night. Donât know if sheâs an old friend, a new one, or just a passing shadow to Yoongi. You donât know if sheâs someone who laughs at his sarcasm the way you do, if she knows the way his voice drops when heâs serious, if sheâs ever had him smile at her the way he smiles at you like youâre his.
But you know this: the second you see her name, your stomach twists sharp and painfully mean.
Itâs nausea, hot and cold at once, like youâve swallowed something that doesnât belong in your body. It coils low, climbs high, catches at the back of your throat. Your pulse stutters, and suddenly the whole room feels too small, too loudâeven though itâs just you, him, the hum of the fridge.
Why should it matter? He can have friends. He can have whoever-the-hell Sori is. Youâre not his girlfriend. Youâre not his anything. You donât get to have a say.
And stillâyou hate it. Hate the way her name looks lit up in his pocket. Hate the way it rang twice, like she knew heâd ignore her once and was ready for round two. Hate the way your hand trembled when you pulled it out, like you were already bracing for the blow.
Itâs pathetic, you think. Itâs not even her. Itâs the not-knowing.
Where she came from. Why she knows him. How close they are. If she knew him before you did.
That last thought lands like a sucker punch. You swallow hard against the bile.
You shouldnât care. You shouldnâtâ
âY/N.â
His voice cuts through your thoughts. Low and so careful.
You look up, and heâs already watching you. Watching the exact way your jaw tightens, the exact way your fingers still press against his wrist like you forgot to let go.
He sees it all.
And the worst part? You see him see it. The flicker of realization in his eyes, quick and sharp, like a spark hitting kindling. He knows.
He knows youâre jealous.
Yoongi tilts his head, still caught under your fingers where theyâve wrapped around his wrist. His mouth curves, faint, the kind of smirk that says heâs decided not to let the silence swallow you whole.
âSo,â he says, slow, amused, âweâre just grabbing peopleâs phones now? That a new birthday tradition orâŚ?â
You blink, throat tight. âI wasnât grabbing, I wasââ You stop. Heat crawls up your neck. ââI donât know what I was.â
âInvestigating?â His smirk deepens, but his voice softens with it. âThatâs bold. Didnât peg you for the jealous type.â
The word hits too close. Your stomach flips. âIâm not jealous.â
âMm.â He leans back, wrist still loose in your hold, like heâs giving you the chance to let go and not making a big deal out of the fact that you donât. âSure. Totally. Thatâs why you look like youâre about to fight Siri for connecting Soriâs call.â
Her name on his lips does something ugly to your insides and you suddenly feel like throwing up again.Â
You groan and drop his wrist like it burns all the sudden. âShut up.â
He chuckles, low and warm, no sting in it. âI mean, you didnât even ask who she was before you went full detective. Kind of flattering, actually.â
Your chest squeezes. âItâs notââ You rub your temples, voice wobbling at the edges. âI just⌠I donât even know who she is, Yoongi. I donât know how you know her, or if you knew her before, or if sheâsââ You bite the words off, sharp. âIt doesnât matter.â
His smirk eases, eyes steady on yours now. âYou really want to know?â
You freeze. The question hangs there, heavy, tempting, terrifying.
ââŚNo,â you say finally, lying through your teeth. âI donât care.â
Yoongi hums, like he hears the truth tucked under the denial. Not pressing, not pushingâjust sitting with it. Then he leans forward, elbows braced on his knees, voice dipping quiet.
âFor what itâs worth,â he says, simple, sincere, âyouâre the one Iâd have rather been with last night. Not her. You.â
Your throat works, traitorous. You want to laugh it off, toss the line back, make it light. But the words sit heavy, glowing, and you canât quite find the air to move them.
So instead, you look down at your lap, tugging at a loose thread on your blanket, and mutter the safest thing you can manage.
âYouâre annoying.â
âYeah,â he says, smiling now. âBut Iâm your annoying.â
You half-smile, acknowledging his words that make your heart flutter more than they should.
He looks down at his lap before finding your eyes again. âAnd you have nothing to worry about.â
You let out a humorless laugh. âWhat does that even mean.â
âIt means,â he says, confident and steady, âI could never replace you. If thatâs why youâre⌠jealous.â
Your chest goes tight. âIâm not worried about being replaced,â you shoot back, too fast. âIâm worried aboutââ
You hear yourself hit the edge and slam on the brakes. No. Not like this. Not with last night still in your throat, not with someone elseâs name still buzzing in his pocket.
âWorried about?â he asks, softer now. Patient, like heâs learned your tells and is offering you a way down.
You take a breath that doesnât go anywhere. Then the words arrive all at once, tripping over each other like theyâve been queued for hours.
âLook. I donât care if youâre having fun and going on dates or fucking around and just looking for casual sex.â Your voice is too bright, too sharp. âBut last night I was super fucking annoyed that all your attention was on someone I donât even know and never even heard of, when I wanted to be having the time of my life with you. You. My hot best friend. The one person I could joke with about that horribly fantastic party. But you werenât there. And I know you said sorry, and I guess I forgive you, but Iâll be hurt for a little bit, but my point is⌠I wore that dress forââ
BZZ-ZZZZ.
You flinch like the sound touched your skin. His phone rattles in his hoodie pocket again, insistently, as if the universe just cannot help itself.
Youâre halfway to smacking it out of him when you see his face.
Heâs looking at you like you just said something holy by accident. Like you hung the moon and heâs been figuring out how to thank you ever since. Warm, startled, wrecked all at once. Itâs not a look youâve ever seen him aim at anyone else.
BZZ. BZZ.
He doesnât even glance down this time. He reaches into his pocket without breaking eye contact, pulls the phone out, hits decline, and sets it face-down on your coffee table like heâs putting a lid on a pot before it boils over.
Silence spreads, thin and shimmering.
âYou wore the dress for who,â he says, voice low, as if heâs afraid of scaring the truth back into its hole.
âForââ The word tangles. You swallow, hate the quake in your throat. âFor feeling good,â you say, cowardly. Then quieter: âFor⌠me.â
His mouth twitchesâthere and gone. He leans forward, elbows on his knees, and searches your face like itâs the only sheet of music he knows how to read.
âI didnât give Sori my attention,â he says, measured. âI stood upstairs because I panicked. She said hi because Jin dragged her over. I nodded through a conversation I didnât hear because every time you laughed, it was like the floor moved. Nothing happened. I left the balcony because I couldnât stay one more second where I couldnât touch you.â
Your pulse stumbles, catches, sprints. âYou didnât touch me downstairs either.â
âI tried,â he says, winces at himself, corrects quietly, âI asked. You said you were busy. You were right to say it.â
âI was mad,â you admit. It feels like handing him your throat. âI wanted you next to me and you werenât. Then there was this⌠person. This name. And Iââ Your voice roughens. âI hated not knowing if you were choosing her over me.â
His eyes soften like thatâs the one hit that lands. âI wasnât choosing anyone over you.â He taps a knuckle against the table, once, a valve for something hotter. âSori is⌠Jinâs friend. She works A&R. Last night she wanted to talk about a feature for an artist. I told her no. Twice.â
âBut sheâs calling,â you say, because the facts are stacked on the table blinking up at you in bold font.
He drags a hand over his jaw. âSheâs calling because I texted her at 2 a.m. to give her my number because Jin told me to.â A brief, humorless laugh. âShe told me I was insane for texting her so late. Then she said happy birthday to you. Then she left her coat upstairs and thinks I can magic it out of the very locked building.â
âOh.â The word is light; the drop in your stomach is not. âThatâs⌠anticlimactic.â
âIâm sorry it isnât salacious enough for your spiral,â he murmurs. âWant me to pretend I eloped?â
âDonât tempt me. Iâll plan the reception out of spite.â
He smiles properly this time. Small. Real. Then it fades, not because itâs gone but because heâs turning the volume down to say the rest.
âYou said you donât care if Iâm dating,â he says. âIâm not.â
âThatâs a convenient coincidence.â
âItâs an inconvenient truth,â he replies, and if he were anyone else heâd be grinning at his own line. He isnât. Heâs looking at you like the next choice will rearrange the room.
Your heartbeat is a clumsy thing in your chest. âSo what am I worried about, Yoongi?â
He tips his head, patient. âYou tell me.â
You stare at him. At the hoodie youâve seen a hundred times, the one youâve stolen twice. At the hands he keeps hiding from the space between you like they might give him away. At the mouth that has laughed with you, cut with you, said things drunk that sober-you memorized and buried.
âI was worried,â you say, each word picked out like itâs lying under glass, âthat I was the only one who felt⌠how I feel. And if I say it out loud, and I am the only one, I wonât get to have the part I already have.â
He inhales, slow, the kind of breath you take before you step onto thin ice. âThe part where weâre⌠us.â
âYeah.â
âAnd if you werenât the only one?â he asks, so gentle you want to shake him.
âThen Iâm still mad about last night,â you say, because your brain is a wild animal that insists on bargaining even with the door cracked open. âBut maybe not⌠terrified.â
His gaze flicks, quick, to your mouth and back. âYou wore the dress for me.â
It isnât a question this time. Itâs a mercy.
You let your eyes drop to your hands, the faint half-moons your nails pressed in your palm. âI wore it hoping youâd look at me andââ You bite down on the rest. Enough honesty for one breath.
âI looked,â he says. âI havenât stopped.â
BZZ-ZZZZ.
The phone on the table makes a valiant attempt at resurrecting itself, skittering once against the wood. You glance at it, then back at him. He doesnât move. He doesnât even blink.
âLet it ring,â he says softly. âPlease.â
You do. For once you let something that isnât him wait.
He shifts closer, not enough to crowd, enough that his knee brushes the cushion seam next to your thigh. The hoodie smells like detergent and something thatâs just him; your stupid body registers all of it like facts itâs been starving for.
âSay the rest,â he asks. âThe part after âI wore that dress forâââ
You breathe out a laugh thatâs almost a sob. âGod, youâre greedy.â
âI learned from the best.â
You look at him, and itâs like the party, the garden, the bench, the whole world has been a long hallway pointing here.
âFor you,â you say. Quiet. True. âI wore it for you.â
His eyes close for a second like the sentence hits bone.
When he opens them, thereâs nothing careful left.
âCome here,â he says.
You move firstânot because he told you to, but because the space between you has been lying this whole time. You shift across the cushion, knees knocking, and his hand comes up like gravity to your jaw, thumb gentle at the corner of your mouth where last night smudged something you didnât want.
He pauses, searches your face for a no you arenât giving.
âYoongi,â you warn, a wry smile trying to save you both and failing. âIf you ask me if this is okay I might combust.â
He huffs a laugh thatâs more breath than sound. âThen save us both.â
You do.
And when your lips touch, itâs not fireworks. Itâs not a car crash. Itâs the simple, devastating relief of something finding its right place. He kisses you like heâs been waiting at a red light for a year and it finally turned greenâheâs careful, then not, then careful again because he knows the shape of your edges. Your hand fists in the front of his hoodie. His fingers slide into your hair like they were always meant to be there.
The room doesnât sway anymore. It stills.
When you pull back, barely, itâs only to breathe his name against his mouth and see the way it lands. Heâs smiling, small and rueful and respectful in a way that makes your ribs ache.
âIâm still mad,â you whisper, because some small, stubborn part of you needs to plant a flag.
âIâll earn my way out,â he murmurs. âStay mad. Stay.â
âI planned to.â Your forehead tips to his. âFor a long time, actually.â
BZZ. BZZ. BZZ. BZZ.
You both glance at the table like youâre looking at a mosquito that thought it was a hawk. Yoongi reaches out without looking, flips the phone over with two fingers, and finally silences it.
âIâll block her later,â he says, almost amused. âTell her Jin has her coat but she has the wrong number.â
âPlease do not drag the coat into your lies.â
âItâs not a lie.â He kisses you once, quick and devastating. âIâll change my number.â
You snort, breathless, and he grins against your mouth like he just solved something complicated. The headache behind your eyes is a faint pressure now, not a drum. Your stomach is quiet. The buzzing is gone.
âYoongi,â you say, and he hums, thumb tracing the hinge of your jaw like heâs afraid you might vanish if he stops touching you. âI want to be stupid with you for a while.â
âGood,â he says, like heâs been waiting for someone to hand him permission to breathe. âIâm great at stupid.â
âProve it.â
He leans back just enough to look at you, really look, and the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes go soft. âIâll start by making you soup and holding your hair if you throw up.â
âHot.â
âAnd then Iâll spend the rest of the day telling you every version of ânothing happenedâ until even your jealousy gets bored and falls asleep.â
âAmbitious.â
He kisses your temple. âAnd after you nap, Iâm going to apologize again for last night. Better. With sentences that arenât trash. Then Iâm going to ask you if I can take you on a date that doesnât end with you wanting to fight Siri in the street.â
You blink. That word sits different now. Not heavy. Possible.
âAnd if I say yes?â
He smiles, quiet, certain. âThen Iâll try not to be late.â
You search his face for a loophole you can hide in. You donât find one. âOkay,â you say. âOkay.â
He exhales like a man whoâs been underwater and finally broke the surface.
âCâmere,â he murmurs, and you do, tucking yourself into the corner of the couch with him like itâs been waiting for this exact geometry. His hoodie is soft under your cheek. His heartbeat is stupid and steady against your ear. The city hums. Somewhere in your kitchen, a Gatorade bottle sweats itself into a little ring on the counter.
When your phone buzzes on the table, itâs a text from Namjoon.
Joon: alive?
You smile into cotton and type with one hand.
you: yeah
you: soup incoming
you: donât worry about the coat
Three dots. Then:
Joon: âŚwhat coat
You huff a laugh you didnât know you had left. Yoongi doesnât ask whatâs funny. He already knows. He just kisses the top of your head like he intends to make a habit of it.
âTomorrow,â you murmur, eyes already slipping shut despite yourself, âdonât be late.â
âI wonât,â he says, and the way he says it makes your body believe him before your brain does.
The phone on the table stays quiet. The soup pot waits. The dress is hanging somewhere in the dark of your closet like a witness.
You think about the way he looked at you before he kissed you, like the moon finally turned around and noticed whoâd been holding it up.
And you reckon no one has ever looked at you that way before.
The soup tasted better than it shouldâve.
Maybe it was because you were hungover and half-dead, maybe it was because Yoongi had leaned against your counter in that hoodie, scowling at the recipe on his phone like broth was a personal enemy, maybe it was because he kept sliding glances at you like he couldnât believe you were really there.
Whatever the reason, you ate it. Slowly, gratefully. He made you drink water in between bites, muttered something about âkeeping electrolytes upâ like he wasnât the one who showed up with a bag of bananas and Gatorade in the first place.
You laughed at him. He kissed you quiet.
Later, you curled up on the couch with a blanket big enough for two, his arm slung heavy and sure around you. Movies played half-forgotten in the background, your head on his chest, his thumb tracing idle circles against your arm. The kisses came soft and unhurried, the kind you could fall asleep in.
At some point, you mustâve.
Because when you open your eyes again, itâs morning.
Your room is flooded with pale light that slips past the blackout curtains, painting everything in soft gray. Your head doesnât hurt anymore; your body feels loose, weightless. For half a second you let yourself drift, float in the warmth cocooned around youâuntil you realize that warmth isnât the blanket.
Itâs him.
Yoongi is behind you, his chest pressed firm against your back, his breath slow at your nape. His arm is heavy over your waist, tucked under your shirt just enough to graze bare skin. And when you shift, careful, testingâ
Oh.
Your ass fits right up against his front.
Every nerve ending in your body lights up like fireworks.
You freeze. Absolutely still. Wide awake now in a way that feels criminal. Your brain, traitorous, starts cataloguing everything at once: the heat of him pressed along your spine, the slow rise and fall of his chest, the solid weight against your hip that tells you exactly how real this is.
Shit.
Slowlyâso slowlyâyou breathe in. Out. You try to convince yourself you can relax, that it doesnât mean anything, that this is just what happens when two people fall asleep in the same bed. Gravity. Logistics. Biology.
But then his fingers twitch at your waist. Just the barest curl, like even in sleep his body knows it wants you closer.
And you realize: youâre not going back to sleep. Not like this.
Your heart is in your throat, your pulse hammering loud enough youâre afraid itâll wake him. You tell yourself not to move. You tell yourself you can stay perfectly still until he wakes up first. You tell yourselfâ
Then his breath shifts, deeper, warmer, nosing the back of your neck.
Oh, fuck.
âYoongiâŚâ you whisper, so quiet youâre not even sure you meant for him to hear it.
He stirs, the smallest sound in his throat, voice thick with sleep. âMm. Still dreaming.â
Your chest tightens. âOf what?â
He shifts, breath warm against your neck, words barely brushing your skin. âYou. Always you.â
The confession hits you harder than his body pressed against yours. Your pulse spikes, your body aching with the knowledge of how close he isâhow hard he isâand how much you want him.
You twist carefully in his hold until youâre facing him, and he looks wrecked in the soft lightâhair a mess, lashes heavy, lips parted. Beautiful. Real. Yours.
Your hand finds the fabric of his hoodie, clinging. âWe shouldâŚâ you murmur, breathless, âbrush our teeth first.â
That earns the faintest crook of his mouth, still half-asleep. âPractical.â
You slip out of bed on wobbly legs, padding toward the bathroom. He follows a moment later, dragging a hand through his hair, hoodie slouched off one shoulder cause he couldnât be bothered to fix it.
The two of you stand at the sink, shoulders brushing, toothbrushes moving in quiet sync. Heâs always had an extra toothbrush at your place. It should feel ordinary, domestic. Instead, the air between you hums, electric, sharp with what youâre not saying.
When you spit and rinse, lifting your gaze to the mirror, you catch him watching youâawake now, eyes dark and unflinching.
You set your toothbrush down, breath caught. âYoongiââ
But he closes the space before you can finish, hand cradling your jaw as his mouth finds yours, cool mint still fresh on his tongue, and suddenly youâre goneâburning, melting, needing him like air.
Itâs not the soft, careful kiss from last nightâitâs greedy, impatient, like heâs been holding his breath for years and finally decided to inhale.
You gasp, hands fisting in his hoodie, and he uses that tiny opening to lick into you, tongue sliding against yours until youâre dizzy. The counter digs into the backs of your thighs before you even register heâs moved you, his hands braced firm at your hips, lifting, setting you down on the cold marble like itâs nothing.
The world tilts, and then it doesnât matterâbecause Yoongi is standing between your knees, kissing you like the end of everything. Hard. Hot. Like if he stops, the whole world will collapse.
Your fingers claw into his hair, tugging, desperate. He groans into your mouth, the sound low and wrecked, vibrating straight through you.
You break for air only long enough to see himâlips red, pupils blown, hoodie collar bunched in your fists. His forehead tips against yours, breaths ragged. âFuck, Y/N,â he mutters, and then heâs kissing you again, deeper, hungrier, like heâll never get enough.
His hands roamâup your sides, over your waist, sliding beneath your shirt to find bare skin, warm palms branding every inch they touch. You arch into him, legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him closer until you feel the solid, unmistakable press of him right where you need it.
The sound you make is shameless. His answering groan is worse.
âBeen dreaming about this,â he rasps against your mouth. âAbout you. For so long.â
You kiss him harder, swallowing the confession whole, because if you donât, youâll beg. And youâre already half a second from begging anyway.
The kiss doesnât slow. It only deepensâmessier, hungrier, your lips swollen, teeth clashing as his tongue tangles with yours. His hands grip your thighs like heâs terrified youâll slip off the counter, thumbs pressing into the soft skin there as if reminding himself of the fact that this is real.
âFuck,â Yoongi groans into your mouth, breaking away just long enough to drag his lips across your jaw, down your throat. âYou taste⌠fuck, you taste better than I dreamed.â
Your head falls back against the mirror with a soft thud, a whimper spilling out before you can swallow it. âYoongiââ
âSay it again,â he murmurs against your skin, lips hot at the hollow of your throat. âSay my name like that.â
âYoongi.â Itâs desperate this time, broken open.
He bites down gently, sucking a mark into your skin that will brand you tomorrow, and the sound you make has his breath hitching. His hands slide higher, skimming beneath your shirt until his thumbs are brushing the underside of your breasts, not quite touching, just teasing, making your body arch toward him instinctively.
Your fingers dig into his hair, tugging him back up so you can crash your mouth against his again. He takes it, gives it back tenfold, kissing you like heâll starve without it.
âI wanted this,â you pant against his lips. âLast night. The night before, at the party.â You dive in for more kisses. âAll night. Youââ
âMe too,â he cuts in, voice wrecked, forehead pressed to yours. âWanted you so bad I couldnât breathe. Thought I was gonna lose it if I touched you.â
You whimper, and his grip on your thighs tightens. He kisses you once more, then pulls back just enough to look at you. Really look. His eyes are dark, blown wide, but thereâs something steady under it, something careful.
âLet me,â he murmurs, voice rough but low and respectful. His thumb strokes against your skin, grounding. âLet me go down on you.â
The question hangs in the air, heavy, sparking against every nerve in your body.
Your breath stutters. Heat pools low in your stomach, your legs already parting without thought, like your body made the decision before your mouth could.
You nod frantically, hips jerking forward, the word tumbling out of you on a broken pant. âPlease.â
Something in his face twistsâlike heâs both wrecked and relieved at once. He kisses you again, hard and quick, stealing your breath before dropping to his knees on the cold tile.
The sight alone nearly undoes you. Yoongi, kneeling between your thighs, hoodie hanging loose around his frame, dark hair falling into his eyes as he pulls off your sleeping shorts and presses your knees wider. Like youâre something to be opened. Something to be savored. But he leaves your lacy panties on.
âFuck, look at you,â he murmurs, voice low and gravely, hands sliding up the insides of your thighs. His thumbs trace soft circles there, teasing closer, closer, until youâre arching toward him without shame.
He glances up once, eyes locking with yours, dark and steady. âI need to taste you.â
You moan just at the sound of it, head tipping back against the mirror, and then he leans inâpressing one hot, open-mouthed kiss over the thin fabric of your panties. The wet heat of his tongue seeps through, and you jolt, a whimper breaking free.
âYoongiââ
He groans against you, the vibration shooting straight through your core. âSo sweet already.â His fingers hook under the edge of your underwear, tugging them down your thighs with agonizing slowness, eyes never leaving yours.
When the fabric hits the floor, he nudges your knees apart wider, settling in like he belongs there, and lowers his mouth to you.
The first stroke of his tongue has your whole body jerking off the counter. He grips your thighs firmly, holding you open as he licks into you again, slow and deliberate, like heâs learning you by taste.
âFuck, youâre perfect,â he groans against your cunt, tongue circling your clit before flattening to lap at you with long, unhurried strokes. âHow do you taste so fucking good?â
Your hands slam against the counter edge, searching for stability. Youâre panting, gasping, every nerve ending set on fire as he works you open with his mouth. His tongue teases, licks, sucks, alternating pressure until your thighs tremble around his head.
âPlease,â you whimper again, tugging his hair without realizing it, and he moans into you like he likes the desperation, like he needs it. The sound shoots straight through you, white-hot.
He pulls back just enough to look up at you, mouth wet, lips red, eyes molten. âYeah? You want more?â
You nod frantically, words spilling out ragged. âDonât stopâplease, Yoongi, donât stop.â
His smirk is faint, wicked. âWasnât planning to.â
And then he dives back in, tongue relentless, sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking until your vision blurs out.
You choke on a moan, your whole body arching, thighs trembling around his head, and Yoongi just holds you steady, eating you like he could live here forever. Like heâs been starving for this exact moment, for you.
Youâre so fucking close.
And Yoongi doesnât let up. His tongue works you with steady, devastating precisionâlong, slow licks that drag all the way through your folds, sharp flicks against your clit, then sucking it into his mouth until youâre keening, your hips jerking helplessly against his hold.
âYoongiâfuckââ you gasp, fingers tangled in his hair, pulling without thought.
He groans like your desperation is feeding him, his mouth sealing over you tighter, tongue pressing into you with purpose. âThatâs it,â he murmurs against your cunt, voice wrecked but steady. âGive it to me. Iâve got you.â
Your thighs tremble around his head, every nerve firing, heat winding tight in your belly. He feels itâof course he doesâbecause his grip on your thighs tightens, pinning you open as his pace grows just a fraction more deliberate.
He draws lazy circles over your clit with his tongue, building, building, relentless in the way only he could be. Youâre panting, breaking apart, teetering on the edgeâ
âYoongi, IâIâmââ
âYeah,â he rasps, pulling you impossibly closer to his mouth. âCome for me.â
And right before you do, he slides his middle finger inside you and curls it perfectly.
You gasp, âFuckâYOONââ
It rips through you sudden and hard and sharp, your whole body arching off the counter as pleasure detonates in waves. Your cry echoes against the bathroom tiles, thighs clamping around his head while he groans into you, pumping and curling his finger just right inside you. His mouth still on your clit, licking you through it, slow and unhurried, savoring every twitch and pulse.
Your grip in his hair turns shaky, your body slumping back against the mirror as aftershocks roll through you. Youâre wrecked, panting, dazedâand Yoongi finally pulls back, lips wet, chin slick, eyes dark and glowing all at once.
âFuck,â he breathes, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. âYouâre gorgeous like this.â
You barely manage a whimper before his arms are sliding under you, lifting you off the counter like you weigh nothing. You bury your face against his shoulder, still trembling, as he carries you out of the bathroom.
Each step toward your bed feels surreal, dizzying. The sheets are cool against your back when he lowers you down, settling between your knees, his hands braced on either side of you like heâs caging you in.
He leans down, kissing you deepâmint, salt, and youâand you can taste yourself on his tongue. He doesnât let you look away, doesnât give you space to doubt.
âRound one,â he murmurs against your lips, voice low and hot on your skin. âNow let me ruin you properly.â
His mouth trails down your throat, across your collarbone, slow and chaste even as his hands are shaking with urgency. He kisses you as if he wants to memorize every inch of your skin before he dares take more.
Then he leans back, tugging his hoodie over his head. It falls to the floor in a heap, followed by his t-shirt, leaving him bare chested above youâlean muscle, pale skin, the rise and fall of his chest unsteady as he stares down at you.
âYour turn,â he murmurs, fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt. He pauses, searching your face. âCan I?â
You nod, frantic. âPlease.â
The shirt comes off, your bra following, and for a long moment he just⌠stares. His mouth parts, his chest heaves, and he shakes his head like he canât believe this is real.
âBeautiful doesnât even come close,â he says, voice raw, almost angry at the limitation of language. âFuck. I wish I had a better word, but youââ He swallows hard. âYou make me stupid.â
Heat floods your face, your chest, all the way down to your core. You reach for him, dragging his mouth back to yours, kissing him messy, urgent, because if he keeps looking at you like that, youâll combust.
His sweats are loose at his hips, and your hand slips down, tugging at the waistband until you find him. Hard, hot, heavy in your palm. You wrap your fingers around him, pumping slow at first, and the moan he lets out into your mouth nearly undoes you.
God, heâs thick. Not the longest, but girthy, solid, filling your hand so completely you know the stretch is going to wreck you in the best way. You stroke him again, thumb swiping over the damp slit, and his hips jerk helplessly against your hand.
âFuck, Y/N,â he groans, kissing you harder, tongue pushing deep like he canât control himself. His whole body shudders above you as you pump him, and it makes your stomach twist with heat knowing youâre unraveling him this fast.
But then he breaks the kiss, forehead pressed to yours, breathing hard. âStopââ
You freeze, eyes wide. âDid Iâ?â
âNo,â he blurts, voice wrecked, hands gripping your hips like heâs holding on for dear life. âItâs not that. Itâsââ He exhales shakily, eyes squeezed shut for a moment before he looks at you again, raw and unguarded. âThis is too much. Youâre too much. Iâve wanted this for so fucking long, and now itâs actually happening, and if you keep doing thatâIâm not gonna last. Not the way I need to. Not the way you deserve.â
Your heart thuds, your chest tight. Heâs not joking. Heâs deadly serious, like the gravity of this moment is messing with his entire body.
Yoongi kisses you again, slower this time but with more passion. âLet me take it slow first. Let me make it last.â
For a moment, time itself slows down.
Youâve imagined thisâfantasized about it in quiet, shameful corners of your mindâbut nothing could have prepared you for the reality of Yoongi above you, stripped down and wrecked, telling you heâs waited for this as long as you have. It feels unreal. Like the universe pressed pause just so you could see him clearly: your best friend, the man who knows your darkest jokes and your softest silences, looking at you like youâre the only thing heâs ever wanted. Youâre so in love with him it feels like your body canât contain it. Every heartbeat is a reminder: youâve waited for this. Youâve lived for this. And now itâs happening, right here, in his hands.
Yoongiâs mouth returns to yours, slow and languid, even as his hands tug at the last barrier between you. He peels his sweats and underwear down, dragging them over his hips without disconnecting the kiss. When heâs completely bare, he pulls back just enough to look at you beneath himâreally lookâand the sound he makes is guttural, torn straight from his chest.
âFuck,â he whispers, eyes dark, hungry, but shining with something more. âYouâre⌠god, I donât even have the words. Youâre everything.â
Heat floods through you, your thighs pressing together instinctively. But heâs already there, easing them apart with gentle hands, sliding down the bed until heâs between them again. He kisses along your inner thigh, slow, worshiping your skin, then presses one finger inside you, careful but firm.
You gasp, back arching. He groans at the sound, eyes locked on your face as he works you open, sliding deep, curling just right until your hips jerk. âSo tight,â he mutters, kissing your knee. âNeed to get you ready for me.â
Another finger joins, stretching you more, and the pressure builds deliciously. You clutch at the sheets, moaning helplessly as he pumps them steady, scissoring you open while his thumb circles your clit. He watches you unravel, his lips parted, his breathing rough. âThatâs it,â he whispers. âOpen up for me. Let me feel you.â
When your thighs start trembling again, he pulls back, dragging his fingers out slowly, leaving you empty and whimpering. Heâs already reaching into the pocket of his sweats, pulling a condom out and tearing it open with his teeth.
Your eyes widen. âYouâ?â
âAlways prepared,â he rasps, rolling it down his cock with practiced hands. He catches your expression and gives a small, crooked smirk. âWhat? You think I didnât come over here prepared after seeing you in that dress?â
And then heâs thereâthick and hot and heavy in his fist, lining himself up against your entrance. He pauses, hovering over you, one hand cupping your jaw, his forehead pressing to yours. His voice is low, almost shaking. âThis is it. Are you okay?â
Your body is already begging, already slick and open for him. You nod frantically. âYes. Please, Yoongi. I need you.â
He exhales sharply, hips rolling forward, and you feel itâhis cock pushing into you, slow, careful, stretching you inch by inch. Your jaw falls open, a broken cry spilling out as the stretch burns in the best possible way. Heâs thick, filling you so completely you can barely breathe.
âFuck,â he groans, head dropping against your shoulder, his voice raw. âYou feelâshitâyou feel so good.â
The stretch has your body clenching tight around him, every nerve alight. Heâs the biggest youâve ever had, not in length but in sheer girth, the kind of fullness that makes you dizzy, makes your thighs shake. Your hands clutch at his shoulders, your nails digging in as he bottoms out, burying himself fully inside you.
âYoongiâoh my godââ
He holds still, chest heaving, giving you time to adjust. His lips find your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, peppering kisses like he canât stop himself. âTell me when,â he pants. âI donât wanna hurt you.â
You shift, rolling your hips experimentally, and the shock of pleasure rips a moan out of you. âNow,â you whisper, desperate. âMove, please.â
He pulls back, slow, then thrusts in again, and the world tilts. The drag of his cock against your walls is overwhelming, toeing the line between pain and ecstasy, and you cling to him, panting his name.
âFuckââ he grits out, thrusting again, harder this time, the rhythm building as he loses his control. âSo tight, so perfectâbeen dreaming about this for so long. About you.â
Your heart lurches, tears stinging your eyes at the rawness in his voice. You kiss him hard, swallowing his moans, your body clenching around him with every deep, deliberate thrust.
He fucks you slow but rough, every push in like a confession, every pull out dragging another plea from your lips. His grip on your hips is bruising, his mouth a litany against your skin: beautiful, mine, always wanted you, fuck, I love the way you feel.
The world shrinks down to thisâthe stretch, the heat, the sound of his moans in your ear, the way heâs finally, finally inside you.
Yoongi thrusts into you again, slow and deep, and then suddenly pulls out, chest heaving. Before you can protest, his hands are on your hips, flipping you gently onto your stomach.
âWant to see you like this,â he mutters, voice rough, guiding you onto your hands and knees.
And then heâs pushing back inside, thick cock sliding into you from behind, and the angle makes you cry out, the stretch sharper, deeper. You drop your head forward, moaning his name as you rock your hips back into him.
âYoongiâfuck, yesââ
His grip tightens, and he drives into you harder, each thrust making the headboard slam against the wall. The sound is obscene, wet and desperate, the slap of skin against skin echoing in your ears.
âHoly fuck,â he groans, and then he stopsâjust stops moving. His hands hold your hips while you keep grinding back on him, fucking yourself on his cock like youâll die if you stop. The stretch is brutal, dizzying, but you donât careâyou need it, you need him.
And then his hand reaches around to find your clit. His middle finger makes contact with your bundle of nerves, drawing tight circles on you, and your whole body jolts back, forcing his cock even deeper as you cry out.
âAhh! Yoongiâmmmââ
He watches you, totally entranced by your sounds alone. Then he rocks his hipsâjust a littleâand he has you aching for more.
You whine, voice wrecked. âWant to ride you.â
He groans, ragged, and pulls out just long enough to shift. âCome on, then.â
He falls back against your headboard, sweat-damp hair clinging to his temples, cock hard and gleaming. You climb onto his lap, straddling him, and take him in hand, guiding him back to your entrance.
The second you sink down, both of you moan in unisonâloud, broken, unrestrained. The angle is deeper like this, his cock spearing you open until you feel him in your gut.
âOh my god,â you pant, nails digging into his shoulders. âSoâso deepââ
He fists your hips, holding you steady, but itâs your body doing the work, bouncing on him, taking him in over and over as your tits sway with every movement. He leans forward, mouth hot and desperate against your chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling, teeth grazing.
You cry out, arching into it, and he switches to your other breast, leaving marks on your skin, kissing and sucking like he wants to brand you. Because he does.
Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive. The words almost spill outâI love you, I love you, I love youâbut you choke them down, terrified itâs too soon, terrified it will shatter this moment.
But the way he looks up at you as you ride himâeyes wide, blown, gazing at you like youâre his epiphanyâalmost gives him away. Like heâs holding back the same words. Like heâs already yours. And you both know it.
âYoongi,â you gasp, hips bouncing faster, harder, chasing the edge.
âFuck, Y/N,â he growls, head falling back against the wall, jaw clenched as he watches you take him. âYouâre perfectâyouâre fucking perfectââ
The coil in your belly snaps, and your orgasm crashes through you, violent and consuming. You scream his name, clenching tight around his cock, body shaking as you ride it out.
âShitââ he groans, hips thrusting up into you desperately, chasing his own release. âCanâtâfuck, Iâm gonnaââ
You grip his hair, pulling his face against your chest as he unravels beneath you, spilling hot inside the condom with a guttural moan of your name. His whole body shudders, his cock pulsing inside you as he rides it out, holding you down on him like he canât stand the thought of letting you go.
You collapse against him, both of you panting, trembling, sweat-slicked. His arms wrap around you, tight, like heâs gluing you to him.
And in the quiet that follows, the only sound your ragged breaths, you realize the truth you almost said out loud: you love him.
And maybe, just maybe, the way his lips press against your temple, lingering, passionate, means he feels the same.
But thenâhis hands shift. One trails down your spine, settling at your ass, squeezing lightly as if testing the weight of you. He groans low in his chest, the sound vibrating against your collarbone.
âStill so fucking tight,â he murmurs, voice wrecked. âEven after that.â
You jolt, still full of him, your body clenching reflexively around his cock where heâs still buried inside you. He hisses through his teeth, his grip on your hip tightening.
âYoongiââ you gasp, shivering.
âYeah,â he grits, forehead pressing to yours, breath hot on your lips. âYou feel that? Canât even move withoutâfuck.â
And just like that, the aftercare melts right back into heat.
You shift in his lap, rocking your hips the slightest bit, and his eyes roll back, a groan tearing out of him. âYouâre insane,â he mutters, kissing you hard, teeth clashing, desperation bleeding into every stroke of his tongue.
âCanât stop,â you pant against his mouth. âDonât want to.â
He grabs your ass with both hands, grinding you down against him, his cock twitching inside you as if his body agrees. âGood,â he growls. ââCause Iâm not letting you off me yet.â
You moan into the kiss, your thighs trembling as you start moving againâslow, steady rolls of your hips that have him swearing, begging under his breath. His lips find your neck, sucking fresh marks into your skin, as if he needs to leave proof that this really happened, that youâre his now.
Every touch, every kiss feels like aftercare and hunger at onceâhis hands soothing over your back while his cock drags deep inside you, his mouth worshipping your skin while his teeth nip and claim. Itâs overwhelming, addictive.
And as you ride him again, slower this time but no less intense, you realize you could live in this loop foreverâheat and tenderness, hunger and care, his arms around you and his body inside you, the two of you unable to stop because stopping would mean admitting this isnât a dream.
You keep moving until your thighs ache, until your chest is heaving and his hands are clutching you like heâll die if you stop. He kisses you through it, messy and hot, every groan spilling into your mouth until finally your body gives up and collapses against his chest.
Yoongi doesnât let you go. He rolls with you, easing both of you down until youâre sprawled across the sheets in a tangle of limbs, still connected, still pulsing with aftershocks. His hand drags lazy circles along your spine, his breath ragged against your temple.
âHoly fuck,â he mutters, voice rough with awe.
You laugh weakly into his chest, too exhausted to form words, your smile pressed against his damp skin. He tightens his arms around you in answer, burying his nose in your hair.
The room is quiet but charged, heavy with the scent of sweat and sex, your bodies still humming. Every shift of your hips makes him groan, and every groan makes your pulse kick up again.
âYouâre insatiable,â you murmur, teasing, though your voice is thin and shaky.
âPot,â he mutters, squeezing your ass lightly, âmeet kettle.â
You laugh again, softer this time, and let yourself melt into him. His hand drifts down to your hip, his thumb stroking absent patterns into your skin like heâs playing the piano.
It should feel like the aftercare partâgentle, winding down. But it doesnât. Not really. Because beneath the laziness, beneath the sweat cooling on your skin, thereâs still that ache, that pull. The knowledge that if either of you moved just right, it would start again.
You tilt your head, brushing your lips over his collarbone, and his body jerks, breath catching like the touch alone could get him hard.
Yeah. Insatiable doesnât even begin to cover it.
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