Chapter 3
A stray cat that needs to be tamed.
<6.7k words>
Pairing - Yoongi x Jungkook
Genre - Slow burn | Hurt/comfort | Found family I Angst | slice of life (basically domestic softness meeting emotional mess)
Rating - Mature
Tags: Tsundere x Sunshine | Trauma | Inspired by HYYH
| Bickering (a lot) | eventual smut I attempt at humor
Warnings - Suicidal thoughts I suicide attempt.
Chapters - 3 / 13 (ongoing)
INDEX
𓆩♡𓆪──────────𓆩♡𓆪
~How could he die from burning fire when he was destined to freeze to death?~
Yoongi was twenty. He barely ate. He barely slept. His skin had clung to his bones; his eyes were hallowed by the dark circles. Every day was the same, he refused to leave the bed. And at night, the nightmares refused to leave him.. He didn’t even speak to anyone. No friends. No social life. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.
His father thought otherwise.
“You’re going to therapy” he had said, voice clipping, final. It was after Yoongi had been taken to hospital after fainting from the lack of food in his body.
Yoongi would argue, only if there was room for it.
Yoongi hated therapy. It wasn’t healing –it was reliving. Over and over and over. Digging up wounds that had no even been healed yet. he wasn’t broken to be healed. He was dead inside.
Yoongi started skipping the secessions. He would spend his time hiding in those shady bars. Would drink anything they served. That is where he started smoking. The smell was all over –at first he hated it. Then he got used to it and then when offered, he didn’t deny. Drowned himself in the smoke.
“Why have you been skipping the therapy sessions?” his father was angry once he got to know. “Do you know I found the best therapist in the city? So much money for you to only properly function. You can’t even –“
“I’m not insane!” I don’t need some quack telling me how to breathe!” Yoongi finally snapped. His voice ricocheted off the walls, sharp and jagged like shattered glass.
His father stared at him. There was anger in them, a little irk and most of disappointment. Yoongi doesn’t blame him. Yoongi hates himself.
“if you keep doing this. You will end up in a psych-ward.”
His father had left.
Yoongi sat there on his bed. Staring the wall for straight five minutes. Psych-ward? He fears, he will end up in a graveyard before that.
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Yoongi sat on the cold metal bench of the bus stand, arms folded against his chill. There were no people around, barely any vehicles. Only the night busses travelling. He was alone..
Except for him.
That kid –whatever his name was. Jungoo? Jungwoo? Aish..whatever. He was leaning against the bus stop pole, hands shoved into his pockets, making no attempt to talk to Yoongi. That was fine. That was infact..preferred.
Yoongi stares down, at his feet. He’s in the hospital slippers. His hospital dress still on. His mind seems to have stopped working. Because what the hell was even today? He had almost died. N –he was supposed to die. But here he is..Alive and about to go with a stranger’s home. He has no idea, what is he going to do tomorrow or once this kid will throw him out but for now…He doesn’t want to back to his house.
If he went back Namyoung would definitely call the police. A chance to take her revenge against Yoongi. And once the police get involved, the next thing he knew, his father would have him strapped to a hospital bed. Diagnosed, sedated and locked away.
A shudder ran through his body.
He would rather let his father think he is dead.
He just needs a little time, a little while. Just long enough to disappear properly. Until then, he had to rely on this kid.
The bus arrived, brakes hissing against the quiet night. The kid stepped on first, glancing back once. Yoongi hesitated for half a second before himself up and following.
When was the last time he’d taken a bus?
Oh, right. Never.
The bus was nearly empty.
The kid walked down the aisle and took a window seat. Yoongi plopped down beside him, stretching his legs out in the double seats. Yoongi plopped down in the other side of the row. The vehicle lurched forward. The engine noise filling the silence.
He wasn’t going to look at him.
He wasn’t.
But his eyes flickered to the side anyway.
The kid was nibbling his fingers. He looked nervous? Anxious? Yoongi’s gaze drifted upward –to his eyes. Big. Round. Bambi like. Clearer than the reflection in still water. So much innocence, just like a little-
Wait. Wait-
How old even was this kid?
Yoongi stiffened, eyes narrowing slightly. His build was sturdy, his height was decent –taller than Yoongi, annoyingly. But his face? He barely looked—
“Hey.”
The kid turned at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, his already big eyes going wide. Yoongi tilted his head. “Are 16 year-olds even allowed to work at a fire station?”
The kid’s face went bright red. “I am not 16!” he sits up straight, broadening his chest a little. Seems like he got offended. “I’m 19”
“Oh..” Yoongi, hummed, leaning back. “Alright. Calm down, kid.”
“I just told you I’m not a kid!”
“Okay, Joonwoo”
The kid groaned. “It’s Jeongguk!”
Yoongi just shrugged, eyes moving lazily to the window. He had no intention of committing that to memory. And yet, somehow, the name sat in his chest like a quiet whisper.
Jeongguk.
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Yoongi was already exhausted and tired to the hell and now he has to walk? Uphill? His legs screamed in protest as he trudged behind the kid, scowling at the cracked pavement beneath his feet. The thin hospital slippers didn’t help much either. He could see the reconstruction boards lined the sides of the road, the peeling sighs announcing for development soon, which clearly weren’t happening any time soon. The roads were narrow, the lights flickered, houses they passed looked ancient, like strong breeze would send them tumbling.
The hell?
“Hey,” Yoongi muttered. “Are you actually taking me to your house or just dragging me somewhere remote to dump me alive?”
The kid barely spared him a glance. “Why would i bother bringing you all his way, paying for your bus ticket, just to dump you?”
Yoongi clicked his tongue. Fair point.
Still, he kept walking a few paces behind, just in case. The kid looked strong enough to throw a punch, but he didn’t seem the type to.
Eventually, they stopped in front of a three story building –if you could even call it that. It looked like it was on the verge of collapsing. The paint was chipped, the metal railings rusted, and one of the balcony door on the second floor seemed broken.
Yoongi stared “I told you to take me where you live.”
“This is where I live.”
Oh, hell no.
Yoongi regrets his decisions; he should have slept on the pathway. Because of course this building has no fucking lift. He has to climb up the stairs. And of course his house had to be on the last floor. Upon up as they reached, each apartment seemed to have two doors. Jeongguk reached towards the last one, unlocking the door.
Yoongi braced himself for the worst.
But inside –it was clean.
Small, but clean. One living room that was connected to the kitchen. a small bedroom, with another door that seemed to be the bathroom. The furniture was old, but ell took care off. Not a speck of dust, the whole house smelled off fabric softener. What caught Yoongi’s was the ugly red couch. Horrendous.
Jeongguk disappeared into the room without another word.
Yoongi let out a deep sigh, rubbing his temples. His body was so done. He wanted sleep. Right now.
“Hey.” He called out. “Where do I sleep?”
Jeongguk reappeared, tossing a pillow and a folded blanket into that ugly couch. “On the couch.”
Yoongi wrinkled his nose. The couch looked ancient, its cushion lumpy. There was n way, its comfortable. But the alterative was sharing a bed with a stranger.
So..Personal space over comfort.
With a dramatic groan, he set the pillow before flopping on the couch. The moment his back hit the cushions, he regretted everything. It was hard as hell. This has to be a punishment form the universe for pulling out the stunt earlier. His left just gets worse and worse.
“You better not wake me up unless there’s an earthquake.” He scowled, closing his eyes.
Yoongi did not sleep on that godforsaken couch.
As the night trenched on, the cold settled in, creeping into his bones like an unwanted guest. There was no damn heater in this hell place. What kind of person lives without a heater? He curled into himself, trying to ignore the way the couch squeaked at his every moment. His body ached. His head was throbbing. His frustration simmered.
This was unacceptable.
So, naturally, he did what any reasonable person would do –storm into the kid’s room.
The door banged. He was going to give him one for making him sleep in this condition.
Yoongi stilled.
Jeongguk was sleeping. Peacefully. Warmly.
Yoongi narrowed his eyes, standing in front of him like a ghost. He hated sharing a bed. He never did. the bed wasn’t even big enough for two people. And this kid…was a completed stranger.
But…but
It looked warm. What? not Jeongguk –the bed. The bed looked warn.
Maybe just for a little while, just until his body stopped feeling like a frozen corpse.
With that complete logical justification, he slipped under the covers. Just for a moment. Just to steal some warmth.
Then, he knocked out.
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The sound of a doorbell ringing aggressively snapped Yoongi wide awake. He groaned, his brain felt foggy. His body too warm-
Wait. Too warm?
His gaze flicked beside him.
…
What in the world? Yoongi was about to scream but then his brain recalled the yesterday’s events. About his plan getting flop as he was dragged out of his deathbed. Literal deathbed. Of how this kid took him to his place which Yoongi definitely hadn’t begged for? And now –shit! He fell asleep on his bed.
While he processed this information the sound of the front door opening made his stomach drop.
What the fuck? Was this kid getting robbed? Bullshit, no robber would ring the bell before doing his deed.
“Jeongguk, when did you come back? You went picking your calls.” A voice from outside, as the footsteps’ came closer.
Yoongi soul left his body.
He turned, violently shaking the still-sleeping Jeongguk. “Hey! Wake up!”
Jeongguk let out a sleepy whine. His hair was a mess, eyes still shut.
“We were worried, so we came to check-“
The door swung open as Jeongguk jolted awaked, freezing the moment he realized where he was and more accurately who he was tangled up with.
But Yoongi was busy staring at the two guys with vibrant hair color stood there on the door way, gawking eyes and slack jaws.
Silence.
Then-
A deep laugh. The boy with blue hair. “oh..our Jeonggukie finally got laid?”
Yoongi choked. He snapped his head towards Jeongguk –only to find the kid looking like he was about to spontaneously combust. Face red. Eyes blown wide. Mouth opening and closing like a dying fish.
“w-what?!” Jeongguk yelped. “That’s not-“
The shorter guy..With pink hair, walked past the taller one, stepping inside he walked to the bed, scanning Yoongi like he was a new species of wild animals.
“Damn, he’s pretty”
What the hell?
Yoongi scowled. “Can you stop staring at me?”
“What are you guys saying. Its no-“
“I mean ..he’s in your bed, was so cozy in your arms. No excuse. You know we are family”
Jeongguk was sputtering “it’s not..i can explain-“
“There’s no need to explain, Jeonggukie”
“So how long have you know each other?”
“Just yesterday. But that-s not-“
“Damn, took things real fast didn’t you?”
“wha-“
“Jimin-ah. I think we need to give them space.”
“What? hyung. Its not-“
“Tae, I’m just trying to know-“
Yoongi groaned at the non stop talking. His head’s about to blast and- “GET OUT!”
Silence.
Jeongguk too was looking at him eyes wide. The blue one..Taehyung, smiles sheeply. “and he’s grumpy”
Yoongi flopped back to the bed.
This was hell.
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Yoongi was stiffly on the arm chair, arms folded face set in a permanent scowl. Across form him, Jeongguk sat on the couch visible stressed, while his two chaotic friends –Jimin and Taehyung, looked far too entertained for his liking.
Yoongi blinked. Slowly. Their bright hair hurt his eyes.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk was doing his best tp explain why a random miserable looking stranger was now in his apartment. He was failing.
The room fell silent.
Then-
Jimin raised an eyebrow. “So….basically, you kidnapped him?”
Jeongguk’s jaw dropped. “What?! I just told you –Oh my god. I am simply offering him a place to stay for the meanwhile.”
Jimin seemed t not like the idea much. He keeps giving Yoongi judgmental looks. “Jeongguk you can barely take care of yourself. And now you’re tying yourself with this rich depressed looking stray.”
“That’s rude Jimin.” Taehyung says, who seems to have taken this situation in an whole different way. He keeps glancing at Yoongi, smiling ad everything.
Yoongi scowls. “I’m not a fucking stray.”
But before he could glare Jimin into another dimension, Taehyung –who had been silent watching, grinned. “But you kind of are, though.” He mused. “Look at you. Just like a grumpy cat. Makes me want to pet you.”
He reached out.
Yoongi slapped his hand away.
Taehyung laughed, as if found him endearing. No because what the fuck is wrong with these shit heads. Jeongguk, who seems to be the only normal one in this friend group, groaned, gripping his hair. He looked second’s away from losing his mind.
Jimin crossed his arms. “So you’re telling me this rich-ass dude doesn’t have any friends to stay over with? or money foe hotel?”
Yoongi scoffed. It was the truth tho. Yoongi didn’t have any friends. And money? It has been more of curse than a blessing for him.
Jeongguk took a deep breath. Like he was the only mature person in the room. “He’s just staying for a bit okay? He’s going to find a place and leave soon.”
Yoongi said nothing.
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Jeongguk thought, now that things were settled maybe the day would go fine. That he would live a peaceful life. He was wrong. Sharing a space with someone was far more troublesome than he imagined.
It started with coffee.
Yoongi sat at dining table, elbows on the surface, frown deepening as he eyes the cup in the Jeongguk's hand. “I hate instant coffee”
Jeongguk blinked. “What?” he looked the cup, coffee filled in it. “This is all I have.”
Yoongi shrugged, leaning back in his chair like Jeongguk’s existence was a personal inconvenience. “you can’t be serious.”
Jeongguk was just more and more puzzled. “What’s wrong with it?”
“it’s an insult of coffee.”
“it’s literally just coffee-“
“I’m not having it.”
Jeongguk’s mouth fell open but no words left. He was already too tired for this. Out of pure stubbornness, he chugged down the whole liquid only to immediately gag.
Yoongi gave him a look.
Jeongguk slammed the cup into the sink and stormed off to shower.
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It was Sunday. Which meant lunch outside, like always.
Jeongguk had hoped the outing would be simple. Nice to get out of the house.
It wasn’t.
It started with Yoongi complaining?”
“Why do these two have to come?” he muttered as they walked down the narrow road towards the main road.
Jimin scoffed. “excuse me, but this whole thing is out thing. You’re the one who barged in out of nowhere.”
Yoongi sighed. He had no rebuttal, so he just kept walking. A few seconds later – “why can’t we just call a taxi?”
All three of them stopped walking. Jeongguk turned to him, incredulous. Taehyung snorted.
“Because” Jimin talked slowly like was talking to a clueless child. “we’re taking the bus.”
“No way. I’m not getting on a bus again.”
“oh, yes. You are.”
The bus stand was here. The bus was here. They got in. It was rush hour. The bus was packed. And Yoongi was suffering. He stood stiffly between Jeongguk and Taehyung arms crossed, looking incredibly out of place.
“Where do I sit?”
Jimin snorted. “You don’t. You stand.”
Yoongi clearly wasn’t used to this. His world believed travelling in cars and planes. Jeongguk was convinced yesterday was the first time the guy had even stepped onto a public transport.
He clung to the overhead hanger, watching as Yoongi hovered uncomfortably. The bus lurched forward
“You might want to hold a pole or something.” Taehyung suggested.
“I’m fine.” Yoongi muttered.
The bus was filled with clatter and noise, but between them silence. Then-
The bus suddenly braked.
Yoongi stumbled. Straight into Jeongguk’s chest.
Both of them froze.
Jeongguk’s ears went red. What the hell just happened? Jimin and Taehyung? Dying of laughter. Yoongi quickly pulled back, clearing hi throat.
The bus started moving again. Another awkward silence.
“You” Jeongguk hesitated, feeling strangely warm.
Yoongi narrowed his eyes. “I’m not holding that dirty pole.”
Jeongguk sighed. Then –without thinking, he murmured “you can hold me, I mean my arm. If you don’t want to fall again.”
The second the words left his mouth, he mentally smacked himself. Why the hell did he ay that? Yoongi stared. Then, crept his hand up and latched onto Jeongguk’s arm.
Jeongguk stiffened.
Okay. Okay. He was fine. This was fine. He offered, after all.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Taehyung grinning like as idiot, whispering to Jimin. “They look adorable.”
Jeongguk glared at him.
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Yoongi wasn’t expecting a five star restaurant. But this..this was ridicules.
It was one of those roadside tented restaurants, the kind with filthy plastic chairs and tables that wobbled if you cleaned them too hard. The kind that made him question the hygiene inside the place was loud, bustling with chatter and Yoongi –deeply regretting his life choices –sat stiffly on a plastic chair, staring down at the steel utensils
He missed his chef. His missed the home cooked meals made by him, that were served right to him on porcelain plates.
“Stop making that face already.” Jeongguk sighted taking a seat beside him.
Jimin folded his arms. yeah, you’re judging the hell out of this place.”
Yoongi didn’t even bother to deny it. “That’s because I am”
Jimin rolled his eyes, clearly offended, but Taehyung just laughed.
“God..it feels like Jeongguk adopted an overpriced cat that’s clearly out of his budget.” Taehyung teased.
Yoongi shot him a deadpan glare. ‘Can you stop comparing me to a pet?”
Jimin smirked. “Right, Taehyung. You can’t call him a pet when he’s more like a stray cat that needs to be tamed.”
Yoongi’s eyes twitched. “I’ll kill you.”
Jeongguk groaned. “Can you guys stop for a second?”
Yoongi was about to snap back when, thankfully the food arrived. A steaming plate was set in front of him –simple beige noodles, some kind of stir fry. He hesitated. The other were already digging in, clearly enjoying themselves. With a quiet sigh, Yoongi picked up his chopsticks and took a bite.
The taste..he would never admit it. but it was good. Really good.
Before he knew it, he was eating faster, hungrier. Yoongi doesn’t even remember the last time he had eaten something so heartily.
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After lunch, Jimin and Taehyung decided they wanted t go to karaoke. Yoongi had never been to one. He didn’t even know what exactly it was. But instead of asking, he just stayed silent as the three of them bough tickets t the counter.
Soon they were walking down a dimly lit hallway lined with multiple doors, each glow colorful neon lights. Then, they entered a tiny room. Inside was a sofa, a table and –at the center a machine that looked like something from a game show.
Yoongi quietly took a seat while Jeongguk went to order drinks. He felt completely out of place. but the other three? They were already laughing, picking songs and grabbing microphones.
Jimin and Taehyung were dancing round singing badly, their echoing off the walls. Yoongi was annoyed. And tired. Is this what kids do for fun these days? Really?
It was getting more annoying as the two kept picking romantic pop songs, swaying dramatically, falling over each other like idiots. Then-
He froze.
Because right in front of him, Jimin an Taehyung suddenly kissed. It wasn’t just a peck. It was disgustingly passionate. Giggly and comfortable. Like they had done it a thousand times.
Yoongi blinked.
Jeongguk, sitting on the other end of the couch snorted at his expression. Yoongi huffed and looked away. he hadn’t known they were together. But, now that he thought about it –how had he not guessed? They lived together. They were always touching each other and everything. It made sense.
“Jeongguk-ah, sing a song!” Taehyung suddenly grabbed Jeongguk’s arm. Pulling him off the couch.
“ahh..I am tired.”
“Come on!” Jimin added. “just one.”
Jeongguk groaned, trying to wiggle out of their grasp, but they relentless. Eventually, with an exasperated sigh he grabbed the mic and started scrolling through the song list.
Yoongi stare at his drink. He didn’t care. He really didn’t. then-
Jeongguk started singing.
A slow, romantic balled. One of those cheesy songs Yoongi despised.
But-
His voice. The moment Jeongguk sang the first note, Yoongi’s head snapped up. His voice was….smooth. deep but not that deep. And stupidly beautiful. He felt an unexpected chill down his spine, completely forgetting the drink in his hand.
Jimin and Taehyung were holding hands, swaying to the melody, their eyes soft. The whole mood of the room changed.
Yoongi was still staring it was lie he had just watched a live performance from a real singer. Jimin and Taehyung clapped enthusiastically showering Jeongguk with praise.
“Like always, you killed it Jeongguk-ah”
Jeongguk, suddenly shy, waved them off, ducking his head. His eyes flickered to Yoongi.
Yoongi looked away immediately. Shit! Its not his fault..he’s just bad at making eye contact. He chug’s down the last bit of Soju straight from the bottle, letting the burn settle in his throat.
“Come on, Yoongi-hyung” Taehyung was suddenly dragging him up.
“Oh, fuck off. I’m not singing.” He yanked his wrist back, ready to leave, but before he could even reach the door-
Click. Jimin locks it. Standing right there. Guarding it.
Yoongi turned, deadpanning. “are you serious?”
“We all sang. You need to, too”
“I can’t sing.”
“It’s fine. This isn’t a competition.”
“you can’t force me.”
“Try me.” Taehyung winked.
Yoongi groaned, glaring at Jeongguk –who was still sitting on the sofa, dim lights casting a warm glow over his face. He was staring at Yoongi. quietly. Curiously.
Yoongi looked away.
And then, before he could protest again. A microphone was shoved into his hands.
“Just pick a song already.” Taehyung huffed.
“How am I supposed to –I don’t know an y of these.” He flipped through the screen, clueless. And then –
His thumb froze. A song title he recognized. A slow piano song. A sad one. The one his mother used to sing. The one his mother used to sing.
His breath caught. Before he could stop himself, the melody began to play.
And then…the words just came out. He dint think. Didn’t try. Just..sang. his voice wasn’t as beautiful as Jeongguk’s. not as confident as Taehyung’s or Jimin’s. but he still sang. The room was silent. Eyes closed, he was suddenly somewhere else. he was a child again. Sitting beside his mother. Watching her pay the piano, her voice soft, warm, familiar.
He used to sing along. Smiling. Laughing. Happy. His chest tightened. His eyes stung.
The song ended.
Yoongi opened his eyes and everyone was staring at him.
Surprised.
Embarrassed, he quickly shoved the mike back onto the table and walked back to the sofa.
“That was sad, damn.” Taehyung muttered. The atmosphere suddenly gloomy.
Jimin blinked. “And also ff tempo, my ears were about to bleed.”
“Shut up. You forced me to sing.” Yoongi grabbed the bottle of soju, ignoring the way Jeongguk was looking at him. with those big eyes. Soft. Watching thinking.
Yoongi didn’t want to know what he was thinking.
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Dinner was at a small BBQ chicken place just down the road from their apartment.
Yoongi’s head ached. Jimin and Taehyung were chattering non-stop. His body was exhausted. He hadn’t done so much walking in his life. All the karaoke music was enough. He felt gloomy. Maybe he shouldn't have alcohol. Maybe it was just everything.. It was crazy.
How just yesterday, at this very moment he was about to set himself on fire. He should have been dead today. The thought made his stomach churn. How can life be so…
The meat arrived. The three of them excitedly started frying it on the grill at their table. Yoongi was quirt. He wanted to top about the thoughts of yesterday. Of how much of a loser he is. He failed even in killing himself.
He should eat. But he couldn’t focus.
He stared at the sizzling meat. The way it smoked.
His stomach dropped.
“OMG..Tae, you’re burning it!” Jimin yelped.
“Hyung, let me do it.” Jeongguk said, reaching for the thongs.
But Yoongi could t focus. His throat felt tight. His eyes watered. His ears went numb. Was he having an panic attack?
No- this was different.
The smoke, the smell. It was too much. He couldn’t breathe. His lungs felt like they were collapsing. This feeling…it was too familiar.
“Omg..!” Jimin coughed, waving his hand to front of his face. The room as filling with smoke.
Yoongi felt it in his chest. He cant breathe. He was dying –he is going to die. It was back. The room. the fire. The heat. He tried to breathe. Repeated to himself tat it was just in his head. but he couldn’t. he was going to die –like he wanted to. He is scared. He is shaking. He is really dying. But wasn’t this what he wanted-?
“are you okay?” a vice cut through the haze.
Yoongi snapped back, wide eyed.
Jeongguk was staring at him. concerned.
Yoongi pushed back hi chair. He needs to leave.
All of them were startled as he rushed out of the restaurant. He wanted to go away. his feet took him out. The night air hit him cold. Bracing. He stumbled against a pole, catching his breath. Only to flinch when a hand landed on his shoulder.
“Yoongi hyung?” Jeongguk’s voice was soft. “are you okay?”
“leave.”
Jeongguk blinked. “what?”
“I said. Leave me alone.” Yoongi’s voice was shaking. His entire body was trembling. He didn’t need pity. He knew he looked pathetic. His feet moved, walking away. Away from Jeongguk.
But Jeongguk followed. “listen, this kind of thing…it happens. I know.”
Yoongi steps quickened. He didn’t want to stop. He needs to be alone. Like he always was.
“Fire survivors often go through this phase.” Jeongguk grabbed his arm. “Even a little smoke can-“
Yoongi snatched off his arm. “Survivor?” he scoffed.
He never wanted survive. He was not supposed to. All he wanted was to e left alone. but things just happened worse.
“Yoongi hyung..” Jeongguk tries t hold him.
Yoongi shoved him off. “Leave me the fuck alone!” he snapped.
Jeongguk flinched.
“I..I was trying to-“
“I don’t need your help. I never needed it.”
And with..Yoongi left.
He walked. No. He ran. Across the road. Towards the apartment.
He didn’t know why he was alive. Didn’t know why he was still here. Didn’t know why he was so fucking pathetic. He needed to be alone. he needed to breathe. He had nowhere..except this shabby apartment.
He stops. Right outside the apartment. A group of high scholars were smoking.
Yoongi gulped. And before he could think. He asked them for one.
As Yoongi walking in the house, he went straight to the window. Lit up the cigarette.
Inhaled. Exhaled. Again. And again.
It was ironic. How the same smoke that made him feel like he was dying –was now the only thing that made him feel distracted.
He was addicted. Addicted to death
He took another inhale –exhale. Got lost in his thoughts. Wondered if his step mother was finally building her wine collection in his mother’s room. or if she was using his room now, too. Wondered if the precious piano was lying somewhere? Was it broken? Or burnt just like him and his mother?
Did it even matter?
The door opened.
Yoongi barely registered it. still half lot in the haze of his smoke and exhaustion. But then-
“What-what are you doing?”
A voice. Soft. Jeongguk.
Yoongi turned his head, cigarette still between his fingers. Jeongguk’s eyes went wide.
“are you..are you serious right now?” he sputtered. ‘’after everything? You were literally about to die in a fire yesterday. you could barely even breathe a while ago. your lungs need to heal!”
Yoongi sighed. Rolled his eyes.
Nicotine felt good. It burnt in all the right place. Reminded of what shit he’s been surviving.
Yoongi exhaled, blowing the smoke to the side. His head felt heavy. “Calm down, fire boy” he muttered, hazily. “I’ve done worse.”
He raised his cigarette as if to prove it. But before he could take another drag-
Jeongguk was on him. Snatching it straight from His fingers.
Yoongi blinked. “What the hell?”
Jeongguk scowled. “You’re not smoking. Not in my apartment.”
He tried to sound intimidating. But hi big, wide eyes were looking at him like they were ..pleading.
Jeongguk scoffed. “Do you own the air here?’
Jeongguk’s jaw dropped. “do you..do you own any common sense?”
“Fine.” Yoongi shrugged. “You can’t stop me. I’ll just smoke outside.”
Jeongguk stared at him.
For a moment, he looked…hurt.
No. no. Yoongi should care. He never did. That is what best. He shouldn’t gives him any expectation. Because this –this was the kind of person he was.
Min Yoongi was shitty man. A pathetic bitter loser.
Jeongguk sighed.
Gave up.
He walked to the table, digging into his jacket’s pocket and placed a small bottle down. And murmured. “You can take the bed.”
And left.
Disappearing into the bathroom. Didn’t look back. And Yoongi watched him go. Then looked at bottle.He reached for it. turning into his hand. The seal still opened. Freshly bought. A medication. For the lungs.
⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
That night, Yoongi barely sleeps. He stares at the ceiling. At the window. At the medicine bottle on the side table. At the clock. It read 3.05 AM.
Yoongi knows Jeongguk is still out there, probably on the balcony or the stairwell, or maybe the couch. Its cold outside. Yoongi know how cold it gets. A part of him –the part that doesn’t want to acknowledge –thinks about calling him inside.
But his pride is too big for an apology.
And also..he doesn’t want to face anyone now.
Tomorrow. Maybe they can fix this tomorrow.
⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
Its doesn’t happen.
The next morning Yoongi wakes up to an empty apartment. Jeongguk is already gone. A plate of omelets sits on the dining table. It’s still war,.
Yoongi doesn’t think about it much. He eats, showers, turn on the TV. Nothing interesting. Finally , he drops onto a cat rescue documentary. And falls asleep before it even gets to the rescue mission.
That’s how the days go.
Yoongi sleeps and just sleeps. Someday, he dreams of his mother. Other days about the fire. He eats what Jeongguk makes him before leaving to work. Makes a ramen cup for lunch. His urge to smoke again is strong. But he doesn’t have a cigarette nor the money to buy it.
He and Jeongguk have barely talked. The silence is too loud. Neither of them breaks it. Its suffocating.
Three days pass.
Yoongi is alone in the apartment when the door bangs.
Jeongguk probably. Forgot something again. He gets up from the couch and opens the door. “Did you forget-“
Wrong.
Kim Taehyung stands there on the other side. Grinning wide. Yoongi stares. Sighs. He does not have the energy for this circus. He starts to shut the door but Taehyung shoves his hand in, wedging himself through. “What the hell do you want?”
Taehyung waltzes in like he owns the place. “I’m just here to see if you’re alive”
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Well, you’ve seen. Now leave.”
“yo-yo….wait.” Taehyung studies him. “looks like you haven’t left the bed much.”
Yoongi looks down at himself. Messy hair, puffy face, wearing one of Jeongguk’s hoddies.
congrats, you have great eyes.”
Taehyung grins, as if proud. “I do. You know what else is great? My intuition.”
Yoongi deadpans.
“And it tells me..You need fresh air”
Yoongi exhales sharply. Enough. “You need to leave.’
“That won’t happen.”
Yoongi groans, rubbing his face. What kind of trouble is this guy? “where’s Jimin? Go bother him if you’re bored.”
Taehyung gasps dramatically. “that hurt. Jimin’s at his dance studio. Do you know how great he is at dancing? Someday, he’s going to make it big”
There are literal stars in Taehyung eyes. Yoongi envies him. Must be nice. To have someone, to see a future. He flops back onto the future. “Don’t you have work today?”
“I did. Half day shift. Lucky you –I decided to come and visit.”
Yoongi wants to be alone. “If you don’t leave in the next five seconds. I’m throwing this lamp at your freak.”
Taehyung laughs. “whoa..whoa. calm down.”
Yoongi groans the lamp and Taehyung steps back. “Okay! Okay!” he lifts hands in surrender. “I was just here to tell you..we’re having movie night today. You should come.”
“Not interested.”
“You don’t even know what we’re watching.”
“doesn’t matter.”
“Oh,come one. I’ll be fun. We have snacks.”
“Not happening.”
“also a heater.”
“ahh..no-“
“And a lot of cuddles”
Yoongi makes a disgusted face. “leave.” He says pointing to the door. “Now”
Taehyung sighs dramatically. “Fine, I won’t force you. But” he tilts his head. “it would be really nice if you came. Even if just for a little while.”
Yoongi says nothing.
Taehyung hums, walking towards the door. “See you tonight.”
“I never said I would come.”
‘Nothing wrong with hoping.” Taehyung grins, boxy and bright.
The door shuts behind hi. Yoongi flops back onto the couch.
What the fuck was that?
⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
Yoongi stares at the ceiling. He’s in bed. It’s just 8 P.M. too early to sleep, but he tries anyway. Closes his eyes. Waits. Nothing. He’s mind is too awake. He’s already spent the whole day sleeping. The kind of sleep that’s heavy, suffocating. The kind that doesn’t leave you rested but …empty and makes you want to sleep more.
He rolls onto the side, pressing his face into the pillow. But his mind won’t shut up. Movie night? What the hell does that even mean? Yoongi scoffs. No, no. he isn’t the type for this shit. Movies, snacks, blanket and heater? Heater… fuck it.
He squeezes his eyes shut. But his stomach grumbles. He sighs. Jeongguk hasn’t come back, meaning he probably went straight to Taehyung’s place.
Fuck it.
He’s not going for the movie. He’s just going to grab something to eat. And maybe heat his body for some time.
Yoongi doesn’t even bother to fix his hair, nor to change in his hoodie and shorts. Its just next door.
He closes the door to Jeongguk’s apartment d walks to the other end of the hallway. The door to Taehyung’s apartment isn't locked. He pushes open the door just a little. His feet stop in the doorframe.
Jimin’s sharp voice. “That’s it. Start the movie. We waited long enough. You know that grump-ass wasn’t going to show up.”
Yoongi huffs. Asshole.
Taehyung laughs. “Okay, okay. Don’t pout sweetie pie.”
Jeongguk, sitting on the couch with a blanket in his lap, make a gagging sound.
Jimin scowls. Urns to Jeongguk. “you know what? Can I ask you something?”
Jeongguk sighs. “You will anyway. Even if say no”
“Exactly” Jimin leans forward. His tone shifting, grim now. “How do you even live with him?”
Yoongi stops breathing.
Jeongguk exhales sharp. “Can we not talk about this?”
“no seriously. You keep avoiding this topic.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“I mean-“ Jimin shakes his head exasperated. “I know you have this urge to save everyone. You have our reasons because of your past. but this big heart of yours doesn’t need to take responsibility for everyone out there.”
Silence. The silence of a bitter truth.
Yoongi feels it.
That sharp, twisting thing inside him.
Jeongguk stiffens. “its not-“
“It is.” Jimin crosses his arms. “You always do this. Thinking you can carry everyone’s problems on your back”
“Jimin” Taehyung murmurs, softer.
“No, it’s not okay, Tae.” Jimin’s eyes soften. Jeongguk look like a kid, who’s been scolded for jumping into a sewage for saving a dirty kitten. “You don’t have to do this Jeongguk-ah” Jimin says, gentle. And then – “Yoongi’s not your burden.”
The words slaps. Burden. A single word, but if feels like the entire world just tilted. Yoongi’s stomach twists. He is looking at Jeongguk, waiting for him to say something. To deny it. anything ,,just anything. But Jeongguk says nothing.
Yoongi’s breathing is getting ragged. Burden. His throat feels tight. Burden. His chest aches. Burden.
Jimin is right. And Yoongi –needs to leave. Now.
He’s turning around but Taehyung’s eyes fall on him.
“Oh-Yoon-“
Yoongi doesn’t wait. Doesn’t let himself see their expression . Or his expression to them. Doesn’t want to hear anymore. He turns on his heels. And he runs. Fast.
Down the hallway. Down the stairs. Out the apartment. Far. Further.
The cold air hits him. Freezing, sharp and cruel. Its dark outside. The streetlight barely flicker. he isn’t wearing much, just a hoodie and shorts. His feet sting against the pavement, but he doesn’t stop. He’s not going back. He is running.
Burden.
Not your responsibility.
The words slice through him. Shit. What was he thinking? His chest hurts. His lungs burn, his breath sharp in the col. But he keeps going.
No direction. No plan. Just away. Farther.
Stupid. He is so stupid. What kind of grown-ass man lives off a 19 year old kid? Like a stray? He really is.
The streets narrow. The turns become unfamiliar. His legs ache. His hands feel numb. His breath shakes. But he doesn’t stop. Doesn’t slow. Because at the end of the day..This is what he is. A burden. He always was. He was a fool to think otherwise.
The truth is..Min Yoongi doesn’t fit anywhere. Never did. never will. He is destined to be alone. so he keeps-
A hiss escapes his mouth at the sudden pain that shoots through his feet.
It happens too fast. He doesn’t see it. a sharp, jagged stone underfoot- the impact jolts up his leg, his ankle twists and he goes off stumbling. The world tilts as he keeps falling, tumbling down. The roads slants downwards, a hill. He rolls and rolls. The ground scrapes his skin, gravity and pulling, dragging and throwing.
Finally..grass.
He lands with a thud.
Silence.
Yoongi groans, wincing. His ankle throbs. His elbow stings. A dull ache blooms in his back. “Great.” He exhales, voice hoarse.
As if his life couldn’t get any better.
He tries to sit up. Pain shoots through his leg. Shit.
His breath trembles. He looks around. Dark. Trees. Grass. Silent streets and suddenly..He realizes.
He doesn’t know where the hell he is? He ran without thinking, without looking and now he’s lost. In the middle of the night, with nothing but the cold.
Yoongi leans back against the tree behind him, his head tipping back. His breath fogs in the air, his fingers are numb. His chest is hollow.
And his mind wonders through the silence –maybe this is it. Maybe the reason he didn’t die. How could he die from burning fire when he was destined to freeze to death?
🌙⋆·˚ ༘ * ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── * ༘ ˚·⋆🌙
To be continued..
INDEX
📝 A/N
I know the update was too late. There was so much going on..but I am back.
Also Yoongi’s character arc is the base of the fic. I love him so much ..