Like every 2 or 3 months I return to Tumblr to let everyone know I'm still miserable and hate life. Old news I guess....
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear

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YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

tannertan36
almost home
Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
One Nice Bug Per Day
DEAR READER
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

oozey mess
d e v o n

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@you-before-me99
Like every 2 or 3 months I return to Tumblr to let everyone know I'm still miserable and hate life. Old news I guess....
“I don’t want people to matter to me too much. Sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. Ones you love who don’t love you, ones who hate you, ones who you think about but never get to be with. I like people but when I get too close, it fucks me up.”
— Henry Rollins
2019 so far has been a year with so many downs compared to their ups. Is God trying to teach me a lesson or is He just playin?
I think with every fight you have with someone, you get to know yourself a little better. I know this sounds weird but everytime I argue with my mom, i tell myself I'll never say what she said to me to my kids. Everytime i argue with a friend, I'll make sure i will never say that to my friend. I slowly learnt that I could be the chaotic mess or the calmness.
- random thoughts
I always felt alone, felt like no one could see the real me and if they saw me as me, that they would leave. I hated every part of my body and I couldn’t stand my flaws. Now I learnt that being able to be alone and not go crazy, is a gift. I learnt to appreciate myself and the things I’m good at. I realized I don’t need someone who doesn’t need me. I was heart broken by a boy who probably didn’t even knew my last name, I saw no future in my career and I slowly saw myself sinking deep again. I felt my life was just one big shit show with no one to talk to. I lost my best friend, simply because she didn’t agree with my life choices. And that’s okay, people leave and I know I’ll meet someone new again. I know now that there is nothing wrong with me, that I have nothing to fear. I am not unloveable , I am not selfish by choosing me, I am most definitely not pathetic by being alone.
This is how my half year of 2019 went so far, how did yours go?
You know what keeps blowing my mind? How times get better, how life gets color again, how I enjoy living again .. And how it all crashes and burns within days after
Don’t you ever wonder why
I overthink the things that might go wrong, end up canceling everything and then beat myself up for not taking a shot.
Me 24/7
“You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly.”
— Unknown
Broken people are so tragically beautiful
Six word story
I rather lose the argument than the person. To me that’s pure logic but I guess it wasn’t for you.
UNKNOWN
“One day someone will ask me what made me stop believing in love and I will almost choke on your name”
— kenzie lawson
Broken people are so tragically beautiful
Six word story
It isn’t my fault that I still remember the way he smiled or the way he looked at me with lust in his eyes.
It isn’t my fault that I still remember the color of his eyes or what his favorite meal was.
It isn’t my fault that now he doesn’t even remember my name or that he didn’t even liked me as much as I liked him.
It isn’t my fault that I fall too hard and too fast.
It isn’t my fault that I loved you before you even knew my name.
-it isn’t my fault
Lessons I learnt this year. #1 Don’t make home out of people. They leave, they leave all the frigging time. Save your heart from the sorrows, be independent and put yourself first. Self love is not selfish. #2 Dreams do come true after all but that doesn’t mean you can sit still and do nothing. You have to work your ass off for it then it’ll surely come your way. #3 Friendship doesn’t fill the gas tank. Not gonna elaborate on this, well all know this! #4 Love yourself. Buy that dress even though it comes with a hefty price tag, read that book that you have in your shelf for the longest time, wear make up , paint your face as your heart desires, sleep for 12 hours , sleep the whole weekend away, sleep for 1 hour if that’s what you want. This is your life, you can’t let people dictate what’s supposed to be yours.
singlaughscreamlikenobodycare, writing prompt #73: Write about the lessons you learned this year. (via wnq-writers)
instagram source
I wish the graveyard could teach me silence, patience, how to lay things to rest the stones don’t stir above the bodies and I am left looking to the ground- in moments when we don’t want to cry we often look to the sky as though it can keep the tears in but I am ready to flood, soak and seep into the earth looking for a sign that there is peace even if I must wait even if the seasons change and friends fall under the dirt first, maybe it is all for the best that I am still here, waiting and watching Time go by, not yet buried with so much dirt still underneath my nails to be scraped out
- long walks || O.L.