Beyond Fucked Up

How did I make it to level 24

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I had a fear of being vulnerable which translates into aggression

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Stop the tears struggle an jelly roll

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An yet the depression is back an harder then ever I honestly don’t know why I even try anymore

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If I could put my problems in a paper

Then I'd roll 'em up and blow 'em away

If I could find a pill to solve 'em

I would take a bottle and I'd be okay

If I could fit my sorrows in a glass

I'd pour a double shot and drink 'em away

If life was that easy then I'd never have

To worry for the rest of my days yeah yeah yeah

But life just ain't that easy, oh no, no no

It's taken its toll on me deep down, in my soul

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I don't wanna fall asleep

I don't wanna pass away

I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days

I don't know why this has happened

But I probably deserve it

I tried to do my best

But you know that I'm not perfect

I been praying for forgiveness

You've been praying for my health

When I leave this earth

Hoping you'll find someone else

'Cause yeah, we still young there's so much we haven't done

Getting married, start a family

Watch your husband with his son

I wish it could be me

But I won't make it off this bed

I hope I go to heaven

So I see you once again

My life was kinda short

But I got so many blessings

Happy you were mine

It sucks that it's all ending

Don't stay awake for too long

Don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

I'll get you up and going out of bed

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Someone's always gonna hate you no matter what

Might as well just be yourself and let people think you suck

Opinions are like buttholes everyone got one they cover up

And all you gotta do is follow through when you yellin' that you don't give a fuck

I ain't lettin' anyone piss in my Cornflakes

Stay the hell out my face and I will stay out of your way

I know that life is cruel and lately it ain't fair at all

You hate your job, your phone is lost, there's evil men and racist cops

Yeah, I don't care if you are black or white or gay or straight

Or old or young or smart or dumb, or where you're from or what you make

The only thing I care about is livin' like I'm not afraid

Of dyin' while I'm sleepin', so I seize it while I'm still awake

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