Lost Ones

Twenty-eight. Teacher. Dog mom. Star Wars Lover.

[aspectacularstart]

[frosya]

[seydouxdaily]

Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013).

[swedit]

Some women play hard to get, I play difficult to understand.

Carrie Fisher  (via anakinskywkler)

[welcometoyouredoom]

[youjustlost0ne]

I am so grateful to have had Carrie Fisher to look up to when I was a little girl and growing up. Thank you, Carrie, for everything.

[youjustlost0ne]

Hello?

Anyone out there? I have always flirted with the idea of going back to blogging, but my thoughts would be a whirlwind of what to focus on and how much I dread the whole, “I’m back,” concept when I have cried wolf several times in the past. Clarify sets in: who the hell are you writing for? I am not trying to turn this tired blog into a platform or means of living. Absolutely not. Writing is for me, because I just had a journey down memory lane reading my old posts and it was so elevating. I am a reflective individual by nature, but g’damn the new year and all the emotions it brings. Screw it. I miss you, Tumblr. (Yikes, it did take me a solid 10-15 minutes to explore this site again to figure out all the new changes. I was regularly using this at twenty to twenty-five or something like that. I am twenty-eight now, and clearly getting older. Is Tumblr even cool anymore? Remember Xanga? Oh well. Whoo!/This sucks.)

[mysharona1987]

Art is the abscence of fear.

Erykah Badu (via mysharona1987)

[emelelizabeth]

[youjustlost0ne]

Lights.

[youjustlost0ne]

Back and Forth

Back: You have lied to me many times before. You have hurt me plenty and deeply. Even though I enjoy talking to you about music, old friends, and life, I have to remind myself of all the times you broke me without breaking a sweat. You were/are a shitty person in many ways, and I can't always think I'm some grand exception. Forth: There is a part of me, however, that wants to move forward, forgive, and believe that a person can change. I want to believe that love and pain can evolve into a friendship where two people can converse and learn from one another. I want to do my own thing. I want to try and see what this new, weird, never-been-done before relationship goes. Back and Forth. Back and Forth.

[myluvin]

[dooners]

[scorpiobunnie]

[youjustlost0ne]

My idea of the perfect exercise class is this: The teacher gives us all a hug and goes, 'You did it! You showed up! Let’s lie down.' We all lie down and she’s like, 'How is everybody feeling?” We’re like, 'Great!' And the teacher’s like, 'Great!' Then we all get to leave 20 minutes early.

- Amy Poehler, Ladies Home Journal

[girlygermz-deactivated20181129]

“Amelie has no boyfriend. She’s tried once or twice, but the results were a let down. Instead, she cultivates a taste for small pleasures: dipping her hand into sacks of grain, cracking creme brulee with a teaspoon, and skipping stones at St. Martin’s canal.”

—Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Le Fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain

[allisimpsonsinstagram]

[youjustlost0ne]

I may never leave.

[youjustlost0ne]

[youjustlost0ne]

9 Months Later

Let's try to ketchup and keep it sweet and simple. I finally left my apartment that I moved in with my ex-husband and the memory of it has left me a more shattered, grown, and better woman. I moved to Los Angeles with my big brother's friend, who I also grew up with in high school. We haven't seen each other in about six years, but it was great to have an old friend share new experiences with. He wanted to move to Los Angeles to pursue screen writing so it all worked out. Two weeks into my move, my roommate's friends from back home came to visit and that's when I met my Boyfriend. I wrote a draft of when I started to fall for him on my Tumblr and played with the idea of posting it, but I felt so protective of this new love that I kept it private. That's when I stopped blogging and writing and started living. As much as I love expressing myself through these little devices, I felt the need for more privacy in my life. I took a break from my Internet life and started a whole new adventure and chapter. I turned twenty-five last year and I have to say.. thank God my early twenties are over. Shit, that was confusing. I'm still broken from the end of my marriage, but I feel like a better version of myself. I'm more kind, thoughtful, cautious, fearless, and spontaneous girlfriend, sister, and teacher. It has its drawbacks, but I want to do more than exist. I want to live! I want to grow and pain is still a part of that and I accept it. I feel more beautiful than ever. I achieved that. I made it here. And now I have a man who doesn't need to tell me that, but sees that in me. I am so full of love. I feel the joy, the heartache, and the challenges that make me a better version of myself. Most importantly, the indifference is fading. I'm excited and eager to get back into the world, my world, and truly be myself again. I want to care about those I love and connect to those I have yet to meet. I want to write again and contribute to the world. So here we are. I moved to Huntington Beach (Surf City baby!) with the Boyfriend and Dockweiler about four months ago and we are one, happy little SoCal family living it up at the beach and in our warm, sunny home. The late 20's awaits! Let's go.