things I learned & need to remember
it’s been 4 years since I started uni in fall ‘15. it took me a while to get there, but I handed in my bachelor thesis and now I’m starting my master of education program. so I thought I’d share some things that I learned through the years and things I should write on my wall so I don’t forget my own advice.
some of these are things I had to learn more than once, some I learned from mistakes and some were said to me as advice. they are in no particular order and you’re very welcome to add your own!
it’s okay to need help. you don’t have to deal with everything on your own.
ask for help before it’s too late. if you don’t get a topic ask a classmate to explain it or ask your teacher for more eyplanatory material that same lesson. if you’re running late on your term paper bc of personal or topic related issues talk to your teacher.
if there are tutorials for your class take advantage of the extra lesson. tutors often explain in a more down-to-earth style, this will make it easier for you. plus, they often provide practice material for your exam or even old exam questions. they work closely with the teachers, so they might hint at exam questions.
go to class every damn time. unless you’re ill (mental illness counts too!!) or some personal catastrophe happens, go to class. there’s umbrellas and rain jackets, snow boots and winter coats. if it’s safe to leave the house weather is not an excuse not matter how comfy your bed is.
make a friend in every class. you don’t have to become best friends and you probably won’t stay friends after the term, but if you’re ill they can catch you up or provide materials (not all classes have arrived in the digital age, sadly). classes that are mandatory but suck will be more fun if you have someone to suffer with.
it’s okay if not all friendships last beyond the end of term. sometimes you just become friends for the benefit of knowing someone in class. sometimes you become friends because you see each other regularly and it kinda fades out during break. that happens and it has nothing to do with your qualities as a friend, that’s just life.
it’s okay to feel lowkey heart broken if you hoped for more than a just-for-the-term-friendship. this can hurt just as much as every other heartache. it sucks, I know, so feel those feelings, but then move on. you have more important things to do.
be careful who you talk to about your term paper plans. my topic once got stolen, because I told a girl in my class (I elaborted on it a lot, yes, I definitely wanted to impress her) and she immediately went to my teachers office hours and got the topic secured for her paper. boy was I surprised when my teacher told me that someone else came to her with almost the exact wording. my new topic was better suited for me in the end, but still.
reach out when things get tough. people might not have the answers to your problems, but talking about them makes it easier to tackle them. if they’re your friends/family/loved ones you’re not bothering them. promise. they’ll probably feel appreciated that you trust them so much (I always do).
don’t expect shit from university offices. if you should hear about your grade/appilcation/etc after 3 weeks, call after week 4 not week 8. if they tell you you don’t need that latin class for your masters get that information signed as proof.
trust your friends, (chosen) family and other loved ones when they tell you they love you no matter what. your academic success does not define your worthiness of love and affection. if someone treats you like that they do not love you the right way, I’m sorry.
you will find friends and a chosen family who love you the way you are not despite but because of your little quirks. uni is more diverse than it seems in white upper class college movies and you will find your kind of people. be patient, but dare to reach out.
friendships do require work, but it shouldn’t be a struggle. most of the time they start because you reached out and told someone how much you like their *insert thing you’re also interested in* and then you go from there. keep a balance of reaching out to each other, listen and remember that it’s not about seeing them by coincidence (aka classes) every day, but because you make time for each other.
read that damn department newsletter. there might be job offers (uni pays well, my dudes!) or annoucements for free events, goodie bags, studying abroad programs, etc. otherwise you might miss a really cool event, conference, speech or lecture set. I missed a non-credit lecture set about harry potter once bc I didn’t read that newsletter. a whole lecture set on harry fucking potter. the agony.
read non-mandatory additional reading only for these reasons: a) you got all mandatory reading and assignments and study notes for all classes done; b) you want to write a term paper about that topic (maybe save it for when you’re actually working on it, if a) doesn’t apply); you can fit it in your schedule and want to impress your teacher, bc you’ll write a term paper for that class. some additonal things might be more fun than your assigned readings for other classes, but you need to prioritise the less fun things sometimes.
need to hand in a class protocol, give a short presentation, etc to be admitted for the exam or term paper? get the second to fourth time slot. being the first is always hard, so if you’re not that confident, maybe stay away from that, but get it done before the second half of the semester starts. your stress level will rise with exams and term papers coming up, so having these things out of the way is a huge relief. plus, the bar won’t be that high yet if you weren’t given specifics and you can learn from the mistakes (aka what your teacher criticized) of those before you.
be brave, participate in class. you are not under-qualified and most teachers love a good in-class discussion. even mandatory boring classes will be more bearable that way.
there is no shame in talking to a mental health professional. you don’t need to be ill enough or sad enough or messed up enough (what a bullshit concept in society). if you’re struggling with pressure, with focus, with panic attacks or whatever, reach out. talking to someone who is in a neutral position, not involved in your personal or academic life and actually qualified to help you deal with that will help. it might be scary, but it is worth it.
