Alexis Jane Moriarty-Moran

Alex Moriarty-Moran, 18, Princess of Crime, Sniper, Student, Cat lover, Chaotic Mastermind.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

I wanted to use the rifle, I wanted it so bad and I know it's what Dad would have done but it's always good to set the fundations of your reputations so... After following Blackwell I had enough to bring him to his knees.

In the morning a waitress uniform allowed me to hear and record his voice bribing two of Mycroft's men which I won't uncover yet, it's good to have an ace up your sleeve from time to time and it's always good to have a Holmes owing you one.

At lunch I found that he has a girlfriend, by the colour of her hair and the excessive amount of make up she's probably in her late twenties, one of those girls obsessed with the pass of time and catching a husband... Except Blackwell already has a wife, who's house he visited in the middle of the evening. Lovely children, I could bet my monthly allowance they're not his.

Now I can't seem to chose between use a knife, call his wife or tell him the bad news and how he's now in my hands and he'll have to do whatever I want to and whenever I ask him to. I would ask Dad and Pops but I haven't been home in a couple of days so they'll more than likely forbid me from leaving until I'm thirty and have white hairs.

What do I do now? Maybe aunt Irene would help me if I were to ask pretty please?

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Here's an advice, the best disguise if you need to disappear it's a hat and an old jacket, maybe throw a wig into the mix. Brown or black if you are blonde, ginger or your hair is dyed or a blond wig if your hair is black or brown. You don't want to go overboard or you will get the opposite effect.

After finding one of pops men had three warnings from dad for sleeping when he had to be working, I pressured him into help me get out of home without being seen. The streets were empty but I didn't have time to take the panoramic route, London has eyes, too many and an iceman to control them all so I had to go through back alleys, the sewers and the tube to avoid detection and find Blackwell the sooner the better.

According to the schedule he will be having a late breakfast at the Ritz with some potential investors for his new business, now I must chose if I want to end him while he's distracted or find something to pressure him into submission. What would Pops do?

I have to do this alone, I have to show them all what I can do.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

I'm done... I overheard Dad and Pops talking about sending me away for some time until they get him, they want me to be safe and prevent people from keep picking on me to get to them which I understand but that got me thinking... What am I doing with my life? Am I a clawless kitten or a tiger? And you know what? I decided I'm a tiger with magpie wings and this time for real.

The name's Edward Blackwell, an old friend of Magnussen (I never liked him) I found all his information in Pops computer, it wasn't hard to crack because his password is the day we became a family and I prefer not to know what's inside the folder “Tiger's funky time”... Anyway, Pops has the whole schedule of this guy but apparently he's looking for the way to approach it without seeming suspicious and alerting new and old enemies, unfortunately for Mr Blackwell I have a printed copy, a set of Dad's knifes, a hunting rifle and I also took one of Pop's disguises.

It will be hard but I'm ready to really take on the family business, wish me luck.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

I think I should explain what's been going on in this time I've been away... So it happened that some friend in common of Pops and Ham's aunt, thought he had been scammed by both of them so he planned to end the kids and that's where I wonder. Why always target me? I'm as equally fierce and scary as Dad and Pops.

Anyway, Super Nanny to the rescue, Mycroft wanted that man's head because he stole some important documents so he offered keep us Ham and I safe in a house away from civilisation and not even let us use the internet... We are teens! It seems mister prim and proper didn't get the memo and so, even though that man is yet to be caught, Mycroft sent us away because Hamish destroyed the kitchen with his experiments and I the walls with my knife because I didn't have anything else to play with.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Hello, just for your information I'm finally free after being kidnapped... By uncle Mycroft... And he didn't have the decency to let me the WiFi password!!! Just so you know I will have my revenge and nothing will stop me... Except an overprotective Irish dad and the twat with a rifle that's standing on the roof yelling at me every single time I dare to take a peak out of the window. It's not fair!

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Okay, I already said there wasn’t much more to tell, but as I promised, here’s what happened while in Dublin... 

As I already said, some idiots that worked for an Irish mobster that was in a fight with Dad, kidnapped me to get to him, and Hamish... Well, they kidnapped him because he was a snitch who didn’t know better, and so they took us to Ireland. 

When we woke up, we where in a room in some flat at the center of the city and my worst nightmare... We were handcuffed to each other  but those idiots instead of putting the handcuffs in our wrists... They put them in our ankles, luckily for the both of us, they left us without supervision and after arguing with Hamish for half an hours because he thought he could create a plan that would make us knock out three adult men, we just sneaked behind them and left the place, those noobs didn’t even used the key to close the door. 

And that’s how I spent the worst five hours of my life running a three-legged race through all Dublin with the most uncoordinated human being that you all know as Ham (Name that he hates but that’s not my problem), he always wanted to go where he thought it was best and so I had to hit him in the head with my shoe and drag his ass to a shop I knew it was owned by one of Dad's “coworkers” and told the old lady behind the counter who I was and what would happen if she didn’t call the owner in that instant and told him I was there and to call my Dad. Needless to say that in three hours Pops and the very own Sherlock Holmes got to the shop in some kind of truce, and got us out of the handcuffs, Pops sent Sherlock and Hamish away even though Sherlock wanted to come and then Pops asked me to show him where we were... Pops knocked the goons, Dad had the mobster captured, and even though Sherlock and John didn’t approve the methods of our family, they didn’t say anything, also when we got home Dad bought a phone to contact me at all times and my favourite ice cream.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Noooooo, you can't leave us like that What happened after you and Hamish were kidnapped?

Okay, okay, I’ll tell you, but tomorrow, I promise.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

What's that about you and Hamish in Dublin? Pretty pleeeeaaaaseeeeeee, tell us!!!

What? That? Okay, okay, I’ll tell you…

Just so you know, I was eight years old at the time, sharing class and playground with a very paranoic William Hamish Watson-Holmes who thought that everything I was planning was evil, so he would always be incredibly noisy.

Okay, so there was a time where Dad and Pops had problems with an irish mobster that didn’t like what Dad did and as he couldn’t go against Dad or Pops because he was afraid of them, he came for me, knocking out one of Dad’s goons who served as a babysitter. 

One day, when it was time to pick me up from school, the mobster’s men came to pick me up in my usual babysitter’s car, but I wasn’t an idiot and so when I saw them I knew something was wrong and  tried to get away, but they took me by the wrist and got me inside the car… Hamish ended up inside the car too because he came running to ask me about what I was going to do and they thought he was my brother. 

So with both of us in the car, they took us into a plane and that’s how we ended in Dublin.

It’s not like there is much more to tell. 

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Will you tell us about the other times you've been kidnapped?

Well, I don’t know If I should, but I'll tell you that they aren’t that exciting… Except that time when I was eight years old and ended up in handcuffs, running around Dublin with none other than Hamish Holmes, or maybe last year when we were on vacation in America, visiting unce Hannibal with Dad and some man took me to get to uncle Hanni… But really, I don’t think anybody wants to hear that.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

It took me a little longer to find what happened while I was gone, but at least I have gathered everything. 

Just right after being kidnapped by grandfather’s idiots and left unconscious, Dad called Pops, Mycroft and every single one of his men so they could find me, they tried tracing my phone, unluckily for them, I had left my phone charging at home (Dad already yelled at me for that and said he was going to install trackers in all my shoes and clothes).

Pops got mad at Dad for trying to go against Augustus, but he was furious at grandpa for trying to go against his family and for kidnapping his daughter, so he left Dad at home managing everything from the shadows and he went hunting his own father. 

Grandpa knew they would be looking for me, so he had me moving from one of his buildings to the next, that’s how Dad’s men caught them the second or third day of me being gone and started following them, Dad phoned Pops and Pops told him to go for me and send Mycroft and his men to Augustus home, Dad was mad because he thought Pops was going to take that man’s side again, but the thing is, he had another thing in mind...

That’s how one day I woke up hungry, thirsty and in John Watson’s arms, with Dad and surprisingly Sherlock Holmes too, they took me home while Mycroft and Pops make a big circus out of the great sir Augustus Moran being arrested for kidnapping his granddaughter, I looked it up this morning, it’s still on TV and the newpapers, a picture of him at the first page with “mysterious” bruises all over his face and broken arm and leg. He used his money and influence to get out of jail, but his reputation is all ruined and... Pops sent a package to uncle Hannibal, with maps to every property Augustus owns, a letter telling him what he did and a blank card to do as he pleases with him and maybe even have a little snack. If you know what I mean. 

It was a wicked week, even though from all the times I’ve been kidnapped, it was the most boring. 

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Okay, okay, I need to tell this from the beginning because I don’t want to forget any detail...

Augustus Moran, Pops Father, he’s manipulative, abusive, he just wants what he wants and doesn’t care to step even over his own sons... So Dad and I wanted revenge on him because we hate to see Pops looking so tired, sad and done everytime he needs to interact with him. With the help of auntie Eurus, we took her out of her cell in Sherrinford and went to a secluded place where we could plan camly, but we had a snitch in our group, and grandpa came for us, more specifically he came for Dad, and in trying to protect, his henchmen took me instead. Big. Mistake.

Dad was furious, Eurus just wanted to hurt somebody, and when Dad in his rage called Pops, he was fuming too. They didn’t know where I was and Dad was too emotional to think straight. The fact is that I don’t really know what happened, I was in some or another dark room, or insulting grandpa when he was trying to interrogate me, so Dad told me what happened.and then Pops told me the truth or at least that’s what I’m trying to get out of him. 

Dad got Mycroft on the case and all of his contacts too, he phoned August and told him he had two hours to bring me back home or else, so August chose else. Pops said that Dad was scared as well as he was mad, 

I can’t tell you yet the rest of what happened because Dad doesn’t want to let me out of his sight, also him and Pops need a little more whiskey and a nap before they tell what they did... What I CAN do tell you is that when I woke up, I was in a room, tied to a chair, with Augustus sitting before me, he asked me to be his heiress, to which I obviously told him he could shove a pogo stick up his... well, you know what (I grew up surrounded of goons and pubgoers, don’t expect me to have a lady’s vocabulary).

Tomorrow I’ll tell you more.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

What... Just... Happened?

[laloon]

S Q U I S H Y   B O I S

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Do you have the astronomy homeworks? Rosie doesn't let me look at hers and even though father says I don't need to learn about that kind of things, dad says that, yes, I need to, and If I don't that he will let father and I grounded without the lab in the kitchen for a whole month. - HH

Soooooo sad, very very sad… Even though, if you bring me information about your father’s next case, maaaaybe, I’ll think about giving you classes. Deal?

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

What are you planning to do to Augustus? Will you torture him psychologically?

No, I don’t think so… My mother’s father was just… an entitled poor idiot who didn’t know who he was dealing with, he’s harmless, so just ruinning a little his life it’s okay, with Augustus we will get a little more physical, we want to really scare him, to make him suffer and fear for daring to talk to Pops like he’s nothing, so yes, we are in for some revenge.

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

It’s weird spending the night in a prison, I mean, yeah, we are in the rooms by the guards and not behind the bars, but it’s weird, dad says this is where you end when you don’t use your brain to outsmart Mycroft.

I must say Eurus Holmes is an interesting person, she maybe a psychopath but she’s cool, gave me a lot of tips and advice about how I can improve and become better and even make my name bigger than Dad’s and Pops, sincerely, I would like for my name out there, end up besides theirs but that’s not the point. Dad invited her to come stay with us for some weeks and help us get to grandpa Moran, even though we both three know it’s a risk, because Pops will no doubt know that we are up to something but we are discussing about how get her to come home without even Pops knowing...

Luckily for us, she’s a master of the disguise, she can become whoever she wants. This is going to be interesting, I can’t wait to see her and Dad working together to create a plan (With my help too).

[youngestcriminalmastermind]

Okay, here’s what happened, we gathered all the information we could on my grandfather, every. single. juicy. bit, and we use it to destroy every single part of his life, from his job and his home, to his last piece of sanity, he’s living on the streets now, nobody will ever want to buy or rent him a house and he his job and money too and Dad and I ended up visiting aunt Eurus in prison, because we want to get revenge on grandpa Moran, so for the best, we need the best, we are going to spend two more days there.