the nikolai gogol of jiraiblr!! ◇⋆˚࿔✦

۶ৎ block don’t report!! ۶ৎ

[your-jester-nikolai]

❦. welcome!! ❦.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

જ⁀➴°⋆ names: nikolai • alex • himi • jabber • michael • victor • rodion/rodya

જ⁀➴°⋆ pronouns: they/emperor/regressor/jester

જ⁀➴°⋆ age: 18

જ⁀➴°⋆ main kins: nikolai gogol (bungo stray dogs), jabber wonger (gachiakuta), meguru bachira (blue lock), kim dokja (omniscient reader), himiko toga (my hero academia)

જ⁀➴°⋆ main fandoms: my hero academia, blue lock, gachiakuta, yuri on ice, omniscient reader, bungou stray dogs

જ⁀➴°⋆ disabilities/disorders: autism, anxiety, OCD, type 1 diabetes

જ⁀➴°⋆ DNI: harmful transIDs, radqueers, anti-endo, anti-otherkin/alterhuman/therian, MAGA, gore/nsfw blogs

જ⁀➴°⋆ disclaimers: tone-tags needed; may come off as rude or uncaring; very socially awkward; little/selective empathy

..••°°°°••..

Other Information

₊ᰔ ⋮ i am a vampire alterhuman; please refer to me as a vampire

₊ᰔ ⋮ if you make kys jokes, i will block you

₊ᰔ ⋮ anons will always be off

₊ᰔ ⋮ i am a system!! (origins unsure)

₊ᰔ ⋮ alters will usually sign off with their name and pronouns; if there is no sign off, I (the host) am fronting.

₊ᰔ ⋮ alters

tamsy caines (he/him) - gachiakuta

jeter (he/they/it)

sherlock holmes (he/him) - young sherlock

alexis ness (he/him) - blue lock

°°••....••°°

Dividers by @jest-star

❦. please send me asks! i promise I’m nice :3 ❦.

[your-jester-nikolai]

Mmmmm husband 🤤

[bl0ody-bandag3s]

[your-jester-nikolai]

I got my first hate on my other social media!!!11!!1! /neg

It was literally a picture I drew of Kasane Teto with an insulin pump (for type one diabetes).

And people were just being rude about it and they clearly had no understanding about type one diabetes.

Anyways fuck them!! I’m unbothered rn but I’ll probably internalize this and end up really sad later.

This was the picture btw:

[salemzai]

its not fair. how do other people get so much attention and i get none?

you're supposed to love me too!

worship me damnit!

[melonshake]

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because they're gifted

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because of their families

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because they're scared of what it entails

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because their peers will see it as just an excuse

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because the professionals they went to believe otherwise

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because they're too young

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because it's too rare

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because of cultural beliefs

jirais who can't get a diagnosis because they're supposed to "just deal with it"

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because it's unaffordable

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because of religious trauma

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because they hate labels

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because they can't deal with being villainized

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because they can't deal with being infantilized

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because they can't stay committed to getting one

jirais who won't get a diagnosis because of their ego

jirais who have a diagnosis but nobody takes it seriously

jirais who have a diagnosis but are in denial

jirais who have a diagnosis but won't tell a soul

jirais who have a diagnosis but can't deal with being infantilized

jirais who have a diagnosis but can't deal with being villainized

the list goes on ... but vanilly sees all of you !!

goodnight, creatures ... hope everyone's day was/is good or at least somewhat enjoyable ...

[your-jester-nikolai]

My childhood was pretty good compared to others, so why do I have a superiority complex, a desperate need to feel special and loved, a fear of being a burden and thus minimizing my feelings, and a constant urge to look up wholesome or sad moments online just to cry?

[your-jester-nikolai]

Is it bad that I feel too tired to post anything most days?

[your-jester-nikolai]

I made the mistake of telling my mom about my alters and now she’s forcing me to talk to professionals about how to make them go away :(

[your-jester-nikolai]

I hate you. I hate the fact you doubt yourself at all.

Listen. Not evreyine in the world will have the same beliefs/ideas/values as you, and thats fine! But if there ARE people who are making you doubt yourself, tell them to stop, or explain that you won't change your mind.

You NEED to stick by what you belive in, if thats where all of this upset is coming from. You need to trust in yourself before running to other people to help you not doubt yourself or feel better or whatever.

Its stupid to ask people to 'insult you to see how creative they are'. Come on.

Ok. I’ll turn anons off now.

[your-jester-nikolai]

u shouldn't be so hard on urself >:0

I just feel like I’m faking everything and people won’t stop doubting me.

[your-jester-nikolai]

dude. you don't deserve hate. looking for it will just make you more upset. :(((

Yeah. I just want to see how creative people can be.

[your-jester-nikolai]

I HATE

how much i love to talk to you. Not enough, probably, but when I do it's nice!!!

Oh thanks

[your-jester-nikolai]

has anyone told you that you're great yet today?

you are.

Thanks

[your-jester-nikolai]

Anonymous questions are allowed now. Please send hate.

[your-jester-nikolai]

Stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me stop doubting me

[your-jester-nikolai]

Maybe I don’t have npd. Maybe I’m not plural. I’ve joined those communities because my experiences largely match npd and plurality, but maybe I don’t have those. Every time I bring something up with my therapist or psychiatrist, it’s always like “perhaps it’s part of the autism spectrum.” I don’t know!!! I just don’t know.