☆ the maybe pure vanilla of jiraiblr ☆ bright blog! turn your brightness down if needed irl yan + currently unable to recover intp 5w4 sp/sx 549 LII FLEV phleg-melan type ദ്ദി╥ ᴗ ╥)
this blogger is very mentally unstable and anti censorship! interact with extreme caution!
we are bodily 16! do whatever you want with this info.
P.S. this intro is long. please try to read past "labels".
i go by kodi, prototype & vanilla. this blog is a part of jiraiblr and yanblr; a uh... "normal" blog will soon be made for anyone who doesn't wanna watch me crashout daily.
i'm on editblr as well, as @purighoul. i might also soon have a sysblr blog.
i go by they/he/it/neos (in order of preference). in this intro, i refer to myself using i/me as well as we/us. in posts, we constantly use third person!
hyperfixations :: psychology (2-ish years) & underverse (3-4 years) dw could've been up there if qwel didn't f@&k it up
intp 5w4 sp/sx 549 LII FLEV phlegmatic-melancholic type
we don't necessarily have a DNI due to our multiplicity and block freely. follow your own!
stances are on our pronouns.cc !
check out our... pronouns.cc pronouns.page taglist art credits strawpage spacehey carrd (soon)
please..? (p.s. some of em are under construction)
⟢ disorder speak.
diagnosed with adhd, autism and depression.
this might be self diagnosis but it's clear that we're a system, however it's near impossible to get a diagnosis due to our family conditions.
suspecting c-ptsd, avpd, bpd and ocd.
i struggle with empathy in the sense that i am too empathetic until you suddenly don't deserve my respect (this almost never happens). i am hypersensitive, hypersexual and moderately moodswingy. we're pretty "panic episode" prone and suffer from mild hallucinations.
we tend to go back and forth between hatred towards every human being on earth and love towards every human being on earth; though, humans in our point of view are always pathetic. hypocritically, we despise generalization.
you will be referred to as "creatures" because of this, but we don't hate you if you identify as human.
try not to vent to us specifically. feel free to vent in a post and tag us if you're in danger (like, for instance, planning to attempt), but DMing us in specific can make us anxious. we might not even answer regular private messages because of this (as well as our living situation). we suck at comforting creatures anyway.
we're also chronically ill and despise leaving the house. we touch grass like once a month
⟢ labels.
i am heavily alternative! my main styles are scene, tenshi kaiwai and jirai kei ... also 2020 alt but that's irrelevant
i'm a raging himejoshi & yumejoshi, i might be a fudanshi. obsessed with yuri, and yaoi is also there /j
the kind of fudan that'll never read the manga but will write about their ships like their life depends on it
i am a fictionkin, therian, otherkin, kemonomimi & pet regressor. i'm not human, at all... please don't refer to me as such, i'm a shapeshifter! i also own two (so far) ESSAs! i might post about them sometimes ...
my gender is complicated. multigender/genderfluid is the short of it, sometimes i'm also agender.
i'm a neptunic lesbian and fictorose, also roseflux.
we are (usually) pro recovery! some of us are menhera, but the ratio is pretty high, so we don't associate ourselves with the label to avoid confusion.
this does not mean op is recovering.
i indulge in self h@rm and talk about $h, suicide, e@ting d1s0rders, ov3rdos!ng and other not-so-great things but triggering things are as censored as someone who barely uses tumblr can be!
due to religious trauma, i do not associate myself with it. i'm an atheistic witch, slightly agnostic.
despite the spawn points in my theme, i am a former spawnist. the uh... cult, as a concept, calms me down... but i do not associate myself with it negatively anymore.
we love positive spawnists! we don't look down on you!
we're a hikikomori and usually only find comfort online. we're also a denpa otaku and hopefully-not-but-probably-soon-to-be makegumi!
my yandere terms are ::
ストーカーがた (sutookaagata) :: stalker type
自己犠牲型 (jiko-giseigata) :: self sacrifice type
自傷型 (jishougata) :: self harm type
all platonic... unless stated otherwise... i'm also a masodere and goudere.
⟢ watch out.
discourse in general. unless it's very clearly something that should be frowned upon, don't bring it up here.
religion. i speak about religion in a bad light most of the time, and bringing up religion to try and "save" me will only make it worse.
death threats. i actually don't care that much about death threats! if you tell me to kill myself i'll laugh, but i might pretend it bothers me to get you in trouble.
P.S. i have been doxxed before, so this isn't new to me.
forced recovery. i see many jirai bloggers state this, but i hate forced recovery, it doesn't do anyone good! as one who was semi-forced to recover (and slowly made their way back to the trenches) it does nothing..!
doubles. specifically doubles of my (void/nonsharing) f/os are not fine to interact if you blog about them. interacting on a blog that doesn't won't bother me, though.
my selective sharing f/os are shared between some mutuals and IRL friends. moots, you're probably on the list!
j. cole , aiobahn +81 , femtanyl , EMIRI , momone chinoi , sorry stacy , STYXVII , uwabe , DECO*27 , phantoskii , ROMA , anythingbecomemoe , tuyu , stomach book , FEM&M , kairikibear , sasaki , sohodolls , rai_ , jaime paige , monochromenace , FLAVOR FOLEY , nightcord at 25:00 , more more jump , weevildoing , maretu , kikuo , mother mother , pinkpantheress , phantom siita , TAK/DORIDORI , melanie martinez , inabakumori , atena , le sserafim , pinocchio p , sawtowne , SLAVE V-V-R , off the hook , kikiyama , SZA , tyler, the creator , ayesha erotica , serani poji , alex g , 4U , bbpanzu , beyonce , divineruins , doja cat , jazmine sullivan , myGO!!!!! , NAKISO , penelope scott , goreshit , SUPXR , vane lily , wotoha , xxxtentacion , yaelokre , ZØMB , msi , aoris , BABYMETAL , blink-182 , YOASOBI , camellia , nanahira , the marias , poppy , devi mccallion , bad omens ... i just like music ok
bolded: extra peak ... i love them ...
bolded + pink: "i'm they're #1 fan"/they're my goat
miscellaneous? | catagorized
games: dandy's world , cookie run , honkai star rail/impact 3rd , zenless zone zero , wuthering waves , project sekai , bandori , d4dj , muse dash , tokyo 7th sisters , needy streamer overload , love angel syndrome , yunyun syndrome , geometry dash , minecraft , splatoon , animal crossing , reverse 1999 , die of death , umamusume , madoka exedra , neverness to everness , just shapes and beats , phighting! , meleeniacs , mouthwashing , hookah haze , doki doki literature club , undertale , deltarune ...
shows/anime: idolm@ster cinderella girls , gachiakuta , slow start , needy girl overdose , puella magi madoka magica , magia record , soul eater , umamusume: pretty derby , dropkick on my devil , precure (series) , gabriel dropout , onimai: i'm now your sister! , hitoribocchi no marumaruseikatsu , lucky star , yuyushiki , bocchi the rock , watamote , bee and puppycat , cosmic princess kaguya , dungeon meshi , catch! teenieping , lalaloopsy , little witch academia , burner , korfc , lots , alien stage , idwbamg , pieces of powder , murder drones , monster high , ever after high , strawberry shortcake , milgram ...
we don't really watch "real" shows like that ...
languages: we aren't fluent in any but english as of now, but we're learning japanese , korean , indonesian , swahili , and french. we plan to learn every earthly language.
we do best with japanese!
voca/utauloid: we're obsessed with vocaloids & utaus and the "lore" behind them, our favorites are otomachi una , VY1 , megurine luka , defoko , GUMI , momone chinoi and others.
shipping: i am a multishipper and shipping is... kinda my passion. i talk A LOT about my otps. those otps being moonberry (dandy's world) , shadowvanilla (crk) , dinobasket (dandy's world) , dotoshuto (umamusume) , azuretime (forsaken) , nickloon (ii) , bookcil (bfdi) , agent 24 (splatoon) , akitoya (pjsk) & xingyun (genshin)
i'm not protective over these ships. ship whatever you want, i probably ship it too, just don't say things like "that ship is stupid" or "[insert ship] is better!"
every character shown in our theme is a fictotype of kodi's.
and when the jiraiblr discourse is about some bullshit, it's REALLY about some bullshit. like completely blown out of proportion and dumb as fuck bullshit
there's a page under fire that only cares about notes and doesn't like answering questions...... like okay i guess?
idk what the problem is, that's ALL most of us care about. like if i had a nickel for every time i've seen a jirai crash out over lack of notes, i could replace my salary
vanilly thinks it was like 2020 or really the time period they were stuck at home, they got doxxed like any normal person would've in 2020.
through discord. (kinda joking, doxxing was not normal on discord.) (...hopefully.)
it wasn't that serious, they just got into an argument with an online friend and because they had no sense of security at the time, that friend knew their IRL phone #, school name + district and ... technically their address ..? but it was more like their neighborhood.
this was also in a discord server that maybe was controversial at the time but they don't remember well. something something dissociative amnesia.
this was also the year they were also almost groomed online lmao. vanilla still has suspicions that they were at some point but they can't assume!
(they have been IRL but it feels like they have online. unfortunately, like they said before they can't be sure.)
luckily they weren't thanks to their friends and their mom especially, but this caused vanilly to put less faith in that year. plus they were only 10 at the time :(
we miiiight take a small tiny break from posting... or we may at least stop posting daily/more than twice a day.
notes are slowly becoming more of what we want than actually posting things that make us happy. we don't want human attention being the reason we relapse, if anything.
school's getting back in session in a couple weeks for us, and we can't afford to have another bad year because we were spending more time on the internet trying to grasp the attention of strangers.
this is a jirai blog. a vent blog. it was made so the host can shout into a seemingly empty void, in hopes that it understands. not in hopes that it yells back.
finding a place that gets our struggles has been a blessing and a curse. we know we're not alone, yet when we see that one popular post getting likes, but not the post we actually cared about posting... it makes it so much worse.
we get that jiraiblr is typically where attention seekers thrive. hell, we see those posts every time we log into tumblr! and there's nothing wrong with that!
but logging in just to click on the "activity" button will kill us if we're not careful.
it may not seem like it, but we're not ready to go just yet.
we hate being "vulnerable" like this, but we just wanna say this because jiraiblr has been awesome to us, but the attention (or lack there-of) surprisingly hasn't.
this isn't a "give me attention!" post. this is a "i'm taking a break to avoid craving attention" post. not going inactive, just maybe not paying as much attention to the internet!
