✨𝓑𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓓𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓮✨ @your-local-asylum-escapee - Tumblr Blog

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

henstomper

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

impossiblepackage

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

henstomper

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

kurhanchyk

because of the word trans or what?

bybats

It's hard to tie your hair with one arm but there's no problem for Simon anymore.

evangelionreference

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

taumoebros

[Vol 1. Part 6/6] finally face to face.

[PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

[TABLE OF CONTENTS]

autisticlittleguy

So Rocky has a bunch of permanent carvings along his carapace like family crest, rulers and protractors, marriage symbol, etc. I assume thats normal for Eridians, but the possibility that it's socially equivalent to getting full body tattoos for humans is funny. Imagine seeing this super inked out dude, but you look closer and its just a bunch of tattoos like.

"I LOVE MY HUSBAND," "FAMILY MAN," "ENGINEERING4LYFE."

whomst-this-again

Mermaid bloodymary my beloved

-

The og picture and the post that inspired this!

sweetdjarin

UGH these 2....i wish there was more fanfic about them bc they are just too cute.

THANK YOUUU @consumerofshorthomies

crackshipsandregret

DISCODOOOOOOLLLLLLL

sweetdjarin

UGH these 2....i wish there was more fanfic about them bc they are just too cute.

THANK YOUUU @consumerofshorthomies

crackshipsandregret

DISCODOOOOOOLLLLLLL

ghstwht

'Blip A'

kwadlayns

Can you find me? 🌑🩸

valtsv

it's forever fucked that refusal is associated so strongly with cowardice and cowardice is almost universally uncontestedly seen as an existential failure that disqualifies you from the right to refuse anything when being able to admit that you're afraid and say "no" are some of the most powerful things that anyone can do

valtsv

"why don't you want to? are you scared?" yes. is that so bad? to be afraid and unwilling? why should that be worth less? why should i hope to be the richest corpse in the graveyard?