How can I help?

Please don't hesitate to ask, I know I don't talk much but... I'm here to help. And I will. Tristan Renner 23 Bisexual. He/His/They/Their (to your preference) Medicine and Psychology Major University of Virginia

[jesuschristhatsaprettyface]

If you hesitate between me and another person, don’t choose me.

I will forever say this (via bled)

[dark-and-broody-zombie-blog]

“Fuck, they got you too, huh? I bet you didn’t even get a chance to get laid. I wasn’t sure I could feel more sorry for you, but I do. I’m sorry.” Jackson hoped Tristan understood that it meant he was dead, because he grew a little tired of saying it and people getting upset and not understanding that this was a great thing.

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

When Tristan heard Jackson’s voice answered his question, he was almost surprised, but somehow relieved to hear him. Despite whatever animosity they had, he broke into a smile and chuckled in return, "Yeah, I don't think getting laid would be my top priority down there. But I appreciate the pity, really." Laughing made his chest uncomfortable but it never hurt. They wished it did. They pulled their arm away to look up to Jackson, wondering whether their actions really caused his death, "I'm sorry too."

[henrixolivier]

       VICTIM #TWENTY-FOUR                  TRISTAN RENNER

Tristan, was by the far, the most annoying of the ‘quiet ones’ that Henri had to deal with in his class. The student was unnervingly silent, usually keeping to them-self. When they did speak up, as rarely as it was, it was embarrassing. Tristan was so shy, so unsure of every move he made. Still, it made it all the easier for Henri to manipulate him. Tristan made a good pawn, and certainly helped Henri throughout the night in more ways than he realized. First there had been the cigarettes. Then, his convincing story at the police station, his outburst had only made it all the easier for Henri to have them taken out of the station. The cops were eager to get rid of them. Lastly, of course, Tristan had been instrumental in putting Adeline on Jackson’s trail. All it had taken was a single message, a single taunt to kill the only girl who’d given Tristan a single look all semester, and Tristan was putty in Henri’s hands. Henri had only kept Tristan around as long as he did because the kid was useful, he did as he was told. Putting him in the finale, with Rosie, was just to toy with them. 

                   “..You have a better life to live than I do.”

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Tristan took his first gasp and wheezed, chest tightening while the soreness lingered. They thought they could still feel the bullet driving straight through. But it didn’t hurt, probably dead. He took a moment to lay back down onto the ground, resting an arm over his eyes still blinded by the flood lights from before, letting the sensation of dying pass by, “Fuck.. What happened?” They weren’t even sure if anyone was around, or where he was, maybe he was stuck in this all alone.

[aseaofquotes]

Glenda Leznoff, Heartache and Other Natural Shocks

[rosamundxaugustine-deactivated2]

Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind

You sang me Spanish lullabies The sweetest sadness in your eyes

[aseaofquotes]

[aseaofquotes]

Gabrielle Zevin, All These Things I’ve Done

[soundnice]

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Almost Lover

by A Fine Frenzy

…I’d never want to see you unhappy

I thought you’d want the same for me…

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Do It For Love

[elisabethxfehr]

Every gunshot stuttered her thinking. People were dying, they were just getting blown away because she wasn’t acting. “Two, two of you.” The math didn’t make sense, there were four people still alive. She couldn’t choose between her classmates and…was that Professor Olivier’s niece? They’d barely met but she didn’t deserve to die! No one did! Whoever was making her do this was sick, they were disturbed. She looked at the button next to her, “I don’t know what to do! I can’t choose two of you! That’s murder.” She turned back to the cage, ignoring the possibility of a decision, there were four people still, and one of them would tell her what to do.

She closed her eyes and tried to take deep breath, nausea was clawing at her stomach. She didn’t know if it was from the drugs or what was happening in front of her, but she couldn’t feel anything besides terror running through her. Another gun shot went off, shattering any concentration she could have had. Her eyes flew open, watching as Esme Chastain went limp. She let out an ear piercing scream before shouting, “I killed her! This is my fault. I’m so sorry, I’m-” Her legs fell out from under her momentarily, and she leaned on the cage to keep standing. “Who is doing this? Why, why me?” She tried to stand upright, but it was a weak attempt, “Please stop! Just make it stop! I can’t kill people, I can’t do this!”

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Tristan turned to Rosie as she agreed with him, and they thought that maybe he convinced Rosie to leave him behind, and maybe he could convince Elisabeth to try and save the rest of them. Even if he had to give a crash course on stopping bleeding and stitching, he would. But Rosie was crying and it was a horrible feeling to see her like that. He didn’t know how to treat crying.

One round. Two round. Stop, and bang. They flinched at the sound of the gun once more, sounding closer to him than before as it cut off Rosie’s words and led her to a scream. Tristan reached out his constrained hand as far as he could, fingertips barely touching as he held on while she screamed. They didn’t know if it would help but they will damn well try to make sure she was okay. He wasn’t even sure who fell but the next words he heard made him tense and sit straight up, returning a similar tone, “What? No. You are leaving me down here.” He knew how hard it was to change her mind, but if this was the one and only thing he could persuade, it’d be the only one that would’ve mattered. “You can’t-” he didn’t even realise that the carousel turned and stopped again, another shot firing off and his fingers tighten their grip around hers, the instinct to hold onto her with the possibility of her being shot. Three of them left. Two can get out, he won’t. Elisabeth starts freaking out again as the machine didn’t even wait a second to move along. She needed to snap out of it if she wanted to save anyone at all. 

“It’s NOT your fault!” Tristan burst out on a volume over Elisabeth trying to get her to listen to something. The carousel slowed down, watching every inch it took hoping that the gun would just somehow past him. But it didn’t. Their heart sank, but he brought his gaze away from the gun and up to Elisabeth, “It’s. Not.” Please help me, “Your. Fault.” I don’t want to die. He spoke each word with conviction, hoping something goes through to her, even as the tears started, even as the back of his mind screamed for help. But he stopped listening to it a long time ago, before anyone else had to. Moving his eyes back to Rosie, still managing somewhat of a smile to her, “I’m..” sorry. “I..” love you. “..You have a better life to live than I do.” And I don’t. He held on to her hand and kept looking towards her, the corner of his lips turning upwards. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul but now they don’t seem to be communicating that much, but he refused to look at the gun. It would be easy, Jack suffered, Jace suffered, Cooper suffered, it was almost unfair that he would be let off with just one 

bang. They felt that one sharp pain, and then nothing else, their hand started to slip off Rosie’s as their head drooped down. It was almost too easy, they didn’t deserve it with how so many others suffered, but his silence would’ve made the decision on saving the rest easy. His quietness would’ve hopefully helped.

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Do It For Love

[elisabethxfehr]

The gun shot jolted Elisabeth awake. The screaming should have, having a note pressed into her hand should have; she should not have been awakened to the sound of someone dying. And yet, that’s what snapped her eyes open. She tried to sit up but failed the first time, her hand slipping out from under her. Everything was in a fog, it’s as if she was floating in water. She sat up again, this time more successful as she started to make out her surroundings, and her friends strapped to the horrific carousel twirling around.

A bloody body whirled by her and she let out an ear piercing scream. The image shot her to feet, as unsteady as that was, and she glanced down to try and catch her balance. She was only met with writing on the floor “Is that blood? Oh my god. What is this! What is – what is-” The words took a moment to come into focus, “Do it for love?” She couldn’t feel her feet but she tried to make it closer to the cage.

“I’ve…I’ve got a note, I don’t know, I can-” She tried to find a face to speak to, but they were slowly starting to spin again. “It says, only two of you can survive, there’s a button” She gestured in the direction of a contraption near the cage.  “The others will be, they’ll be-” The already dead victim passed by and finished her thought for her. “What do I do, Rosie!” She finally saw a familiar face, “Tristan. Lil- Liliana.” She grabbed the bars of the cage, crumpling the note, “Someone tell me what to do!”

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Everyone started to shout and scream as the carousel turned and all Tristan could do was look down and closed his eyes as it halted, and the gun fired behind him, following an anguished cry for Riley. The whole thing stopped for awhile, they glanced over to Rosie, trying to find any sort of comfort to give. Hearing all the cries from everyone was painful enough, but he couldn’t even say or do anything to help, it was as if from the first gun shot, he knew that they were going to die.

During that moment of silence, they heard yet another scream but from outside the cage. Listening to Elisabeth panic as he tried to turn his head to her direction, but of course, the contraption decided to take the liberty to turn for him. They past her once while she read the note she had, making things hopeful and bleak at the same time. He looked towards the buttons, and it didn’t look like some normal button to press and stop things and they were almost more afraid of what it would do to Elisabeth.

He locked eyes with her as he turned her way again, she didn’t know what to do, and neither did they. But people were gonna get out of this alive, at most three, and at the back of their mind they knew it probably wouldn’t be him. “Get them out of here Elisabeth,” she asked and he answered. Tristan tried to steady his strained voice, “There’s.. there’s a first aid kit in my bag… After this is over, take it and get out of here.” He nodded his head to the buttons, considering what happened tonight, it could go really bad for her pressing it. It wasn’t a matter of sacrifice or heroism or whatever, they were terrified, they didn’t want to die at all, but it’s a matter of practicality. He needed to say it, he had to help, to be useful in any way at all. And if whoever gets out happened to be the people he cared for, it’ll just be a bonus and slightly more worth it. They waited for the carousel to stop, not knowing when it would come to him, but he didn’t want to think about it stopping at Rosie.

[thrivingonwords-blog]

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[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

“ Pick it up. Pick it all up and start again. You’ve got a second chance. You could go home, escape it all. You could still be what you want to, what you said you were when I met you. 

You’ve got a warm heart,                you’ve got a beautiful brain.                                       But it’s disintegrating,                                                          from all the medicine.”

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

Do It For Love

Tristan let out a soft groan as they came to, lifting his head that felt like it was soaked in lead seeping into his mind. Was he alive? Probably, the throbbing was proving so. Opening his eyes, something was blinding them for a good few seconds and he tried to shield the light, but both his arms couldn’t even budge from behind him. It was only then did reality, panic and the smell of death set in as they snapped open their eyes, pulling his arms that were merely greeted by the cold steel chains around them. He glanced around to find everyone else still around, chained up, how alive was another question. And then he turned to his left to see Rosie and let go of the breath he didn’t even realise he was holding. 

The lights were so damn bright towards them that they couldn’t see anything past a gun staring right down at him, but that was all he needed to see. Tristan was almost scared to speak up, not knowing if the killer was here, or if that thing would go off or something else entirely is going to kill him. That was what he was good at doing right? Staying quiet? But he had to know, “Rosie..” they mustered a whisper, a hand trying to stretch over to her, she was still breathing, the others probably are too. “Rosie, wake up. Are you okay...” Another attempt as he said a little louder through his cracked voice, hand reaching out a little further with the chains digging into his skin. He didn’t want to be alone in this anymore.

[youralmostprofessionaldoctor]

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