Roasting You Based on Your Favorite Slipknot Member:
This should have been a tiktok but asdfghjkl
Please take offense it’ll be entertaining, however this is from my personal experience so don’t take too much offense
0. Sid Wilson: You are a Sid kinnie plain and simple, tell me more about how you were deprived of a childhood in some way
1. Joey Jordison: I see you have gender envy, fun. If you like Joey you look like him, and if you unironically uwu-baby him I don’t respect you
2. Paul Gray: You have exquisite taste, come date me instead, mwah mwah
3. Chris Fehn: 70% chance you want to peg him or pull his hair, you like dilfs if you didn’t know
4. Jim Root: Jim is best malewife and I respect that. Very big boy, do you want to be crushed? Also how’s that mild to moderate hand kink working out for you?
5. Craig Jones: If Craig is your favorite it’s purely spiritual and you don’t want to fuck him, thank god. Craig needs love too <3
6. Shawn “Clown” Crahan: there’s so much here I don’t know where to start. If you’re ashamed just give up, no one gives a fuck, like, we’re already here. Also be my friend cuz you’re a cool bitch, just…don’t talk about his chubby hands excessively okay? Like yeah, I know
7. Mick Thomson: Do you hate yourself? Like, even just a little? I think wanting Mick to pulverize you is a form of self harm so…..watch out for that. Good choice tho, beefy boy with pretty hair
8. Corey Taylor: I don’t know how much I can roast you guys because I’d like the confidence of a Toddfucker, but alas. Also I think it depends on the era you prefer. Anyways, lil basic but I respect your appreciation for himbos
