Omg people. We need realness.
There's just too much fakeness on both sides of this fetish. The fakeness can be dangerous, especially since it actually requires a serious dedication and level of care for this fetish to work.
We've got the feedees who join Tumblr, send about 50 messages to individual FFA/FAs... then disappear after they have gotten off. They obviously have no real desire to gain weight, no matter how much they squawk that they want to. It's okay to dip your toe in and leave. But when you keep deactivating and coming back and deactivating and coming back... you're just unreliable at that point.
Then there are the feeders. People who write basic content and post selfies of their fit bodies, but have NEVER actually been with a fat person. They just love the attention that they get from feedees. They disappear pretty often as well. Which, yet again, is fine. Everyone should be free to explore and then leave when they want to. But... fat people. They can't just pretend and leave. The weight is still there. There IS NO pretending.
But, it's those of us who stick it out; who have been in the community for a while
Those of us who don't hide who we are. Those of us who have actually been with supersized partners, or are supersized themselves... those are the people I'll talk to in DMs and chat.
Like, I get this is a sexual kink. I get that people will indulge and then leave... it's the people they use along the way that suffer. I also get that this kink can be embarrassing for some. So they join kink communities under anonymous names when they are "feeling it", then ditch quickly when they change their mind. And that's okay. Just as long as they aren't stringing people along in the process.
My issue? Fat people can't just ditch their bodies when they change their mind. There is NO changing your mind when you weigh over 500 pounds. I mean, I suppose there is... but then there would be years of suffering and dieting. It's not as easy as just deactivating a profile.
I'm an FFA who has been with fat men. Men over 500lbs. I know the difficulty that comes with it. I know that, eventually you settle into a caregiver role when you're with such a large partner. There are things not talked about: cleaning them and washing the unreachable areas, helping them on and off furniture, even cutting their toenails because they can't reach.
If you define yourself as an FFA/FA, but you've never actually been with, or taken care of, a person who is morbidly obese. Then you are still living in fantasy.
Honestly, if you're not ready to truly care for someone large, fantasy is a good way to go.
But don't lie. Don't pretend you're a real fat admirer if you've never made the effort to be with a fat person (I understand just not having the opportunity yet, and that's different); or you've never made the effort to defend fat bodies in public. Don't pretend you're ready for a feedist relationship if you're not prepared for the level of care that your feedee will need. And don't pretend you're in the same corner in the fight for fat liberation if you've never defended fat bodies in mainstream society.
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