your not gonna like this

-a blog of honest poetry -with nothing to hide ---the english language is ours to shape and mold as we please ---- Follow this link to purchase my books:  https://www.amazon.ca/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AJR+McWilliam&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Well shit

Now what

Now all we have is ourselves.

I hope you liked yourself before

Because its about to get real all up in yo brain.

Alone time is

At best

Unpredictable.

But you love what you love

And I suggest doin it now

Before it all goes down

And you cant go back

You cant just turn

Around.

Now is forward

And only forward

For wherever you now go

Is where you may end up

And you cant go back.

Its done.

Love

You.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

I dont know what to say here.

The world is going to be a completely different place and I find myself pacing the entire apartment wondering what contribution I am going to offer this society. How can I make it so that I am going to be irreplaceable?

It's too bad that I lost who I was a while ago because otherwise I would know where I stand. Suddenly I dont. Now what?

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

Late, late at night,

he comes through your door.

Stealing what remains of the light,

All while you snore.

He shreaks across your floor

and trembles at your face,

feeling around in your gore,

and you cant come back to this place.

You feel him and you he is there

but still you lay still in your bed

unknowing of the terrifying scare

Happening centemeters from your head.

A nightmare awakes itself

And you fling yourself awake

Looking to your right and looking to your left.

And then you open your eyes -

What a mistake.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

I wish you were here.

I wish I could smell your little smell.

I wish I could pet those beautiful wisps.

I wish that you were here to remind me that this life is not a waste.

I wish you would come back just to let me know you are okay.

I wish you could answer a text and just simply say Hey.

I wish nothing else than to love that final moment again

years from now.

I wish that I could have done what I was supposed to do

and just remember to enjoy that short period of time

but I cant because you are gone now

and I am sad inside.

I am sad because I miss you.

I am sad because every part of me misses you.

I am sad because I truly understand that you cant come back to me.

You exist in me now.

It is my responsibility to ensure that you are not forgotten.

Wont you come back?

I know you cant.

But even just for one more moment.

Please

just one.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Is there anyone there that can hear me

See me

Feel me

Know me?

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Cry out

For there is nothing left to do.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

He comes in the night

No solice, no fright.

He warns me to stay

In the abode where we play.

There is no good here

No good thoughts, no peer.

For the lingering agony

Stays without antagony.

I do this to myself

Yet no vodka on the shelf

Could take the cry

From the wolf

Bye bye.

He is here no matter

The blunder hereafter.

I want you to go

So I will no longer

Your fo.

I cant stand the perpetual gaze

That from my childhood you hate.

I can hear it in your words

No matter what the doctors say

You've always wanted something else

Though in the sunlight we played.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

I have lost myself

Again

I watch him be so comfortable

So calm

So cool

And I am not that way.

I am not writing anymore

I barely read.

Maybe that's not who I am anymore

Or maybe I never was.

This feeling is lost

Of being so sure of myself

My life

My path.

Gone.

I wake up and act like a house wife.

I get alone time and stare at my phone.

I wait for others to tell me what they want

And then I do that.

I dont know what I want.

I dont know why I'm here.

I dont know who I am

Anymore.

JR McWilliam

[1nn32dem0n5]

“you just have to follow your heart. mine says fuck people.”

— 1nn32dem0n5

[yournotgonnalikethis]

I wonder how I forgot

That the purpose of this life

Is to simply enjoy it.

Now I wonder

If I can believe that again

And try to do just that.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

Your belief will only last as long as you are able to lie to yourself.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

The blessings of loneliness

Darkness is a fickle thing

Is it not.

To sit alone

After never being alone

And to simply enjoy the silence

Of loneliness.

It's not lonely.

I am never alone because that's what I chose.

There is no one to blame

And I wouldnt have it any other way.

But these moments

Of quiet

Of moonlight

Are moments when we connect back with ourselves.

The children we began.

The life that we were to lead

From the moment we were born.

- alone time

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

I may look like I dont dream of it,

But I want to punch you so hard in your throat that you feel it years later.

You talk about your problems like

They are second hand nature

But really your problems just seem so

Much like the rapture.

Unnecessary and

Never gonna matter.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Your late

I stay up late

Thinking about your late

You have no idea how great

This can be

Now its eight

And I have to be at work

Elate

I know how this will appear

So far yet so near

From what I should look like

Appear

This constant will he wont he

Wont let my mind flee

From the pain that hes caused me

You caused me

Now here I am at thirty

Wondering what the truth be

Will he wont he

This is getting old

This ridiculous centerfold

That keeps showing me bold

What it is to grow old

How I feel so cold

Yet I'm still only thirty

A baby in your eyes

I may not confide

As you have your own rely

On what you believe is right

But may we decide

Please try to collide

With the thoughts that I hide

So I may no longer feel alone.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Delayed Denial

He is dying.

We all know that.

But nobody wants to talk about it other than him.

He is the only one willing to tell the truth.

Yes, we all have regrets

Of the past that we built with him.

But no one regrets,

Quite like him.

He is a hot mess.

He is a vagrant.

He is the epitome of strength,

And yet the definition of weakness.

He is selfish,

Not in a charming way.

He takes what he needs

Without ever letting you know he is doing it.

It is now in his brain

There is no turning back

For we must talk about this

But alas there is nothing to say.

I am his spawn,

His legacy to leave behind.

A momento of unwasted sperm

A decision that wasn't half bad.

Yet, through me,

His story will always be told.

Not quite like hers

But the truth nonetheless.

I sit here now,

Waiting for you to tell us that your leaving,

Writing your story

Because it is the only thing I can do.

Forbid, you wrote it yourself.

I am here to pick up the pieces,

But I will not go without a fight.

As you owe that to me

For my future of overthought and regret

That you so gracefully gifted me.

I thank you.

JR McWilliam

[yournotgonnalikethis]

Here...Alone

I know what it is I have to do

I know what it is I must do

I have no idea what it is

I want to do

But what is want

If not the empty promise brought to us

By life itself.

To promise ourselves want

Even need,

Is to be empty

Promising,

Ourselves of something

That is not a guarantee.

Something.

To invite unsolicited advice is to want.

To listen to ourselves is need.

To listen to the universe is to believe

That we can have what we desire

Only makes us weak.

It is in our states of anguish

Of desperation,

That we know what we need,

Want.

It is not times like these that we get what we want.

It is not times like these that we get what we need.

It is in times like these that we get only what we are given,

And not what we expected.

JR McWilliam

[justiceleague]

V for Vendetta (2005) dir. James McTeigue