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no matter how much time i spend overcomplicating my sexuality, at the end of the day, it all pales when all i value is love and loyalty. i say i have commitment issues, but it’s more out of a fear of a lack of commitment towards me.

but all everyone else will see is that you

#hate yourself #girlblogging #lord save me #Spotify

i think i cooked

guy that's so awful you almost feel bad for him.

#he's so interesting (i hate him)#heartstopper #ben hope #hate yourself #hate yourself tv girl #tv girl #heartstopper edit #edit #ems edits #flicker warning #tw flickering

tell me

do you let them down gently

does it only make it harder

to let the feeling linger

to drag it out a little longer

#thoughts #hate yourself #tv girl

(Not rlly anything note worthy, this just me rambling a lil cuz this was kinda driving me insane atp😮‍💨)

God whenever I listen to hate yourself by tv girl my brain always automatically conjures up scenarious about the girls and it never fails to make me emotional somehow. Like it doesn't have me full on sobbing but it makes my heart ache so bad but also so good which i love but also dunno how to explain and I find that observation so strange but also very fascinating bc it reminds me that despite a whole year having passed since the movie's release it's still got an INSANE chokehold on me even to this day. Not a single day has passed where I haven't thought about huntrix and I find that impressive as well as the slightest bit concerning ngl (I've never had a hyperfixation that lasted THIS long before), but that's not the point. Back to what I was talking abt, it's the exact same with that twins at the carousel trend man, I ate every single huntrix based one up so hard despite it destroying my little yuri heart each time, and now I'm lowkey starting to question if I harbor some masochistic tendencies bc of it...? Anyway back to hate yourself, I mean just imagine for the intro it cuts back and forth between a sequence of like fun events or silly shenanigangs huntrix get up to before abruptly cutting to darker and more depressing colors showcasing each of their struggles (or since I have a Rumi bias, her being thrown into the blender between cuts over and over and over again ...wait maybe it's sadistic tendencies instead? Idek). But yeah, ur telling me no one has ever thought about it before? Tried to make a polytrix centered animatic with that particular song yet? It doesn't have to be the whole ass thing, but the intro?? Did anyone else at least have sorta the same vision while listening to it, cuz I can't just be the only one. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough yet? I mean I would've def tried my hands at my own animation by now if I didn’t feel so absurdly demotivated and lazy all the time (and could come up with actual scenes to draw them in) but like seriously? No one???