you’ve been cornered in a room. the lights were down, and you were a little nervous, and guk stood above you, grinning like an idiot.
“are you a little drunk?” you ask.
“no, i haven’t been drinking,” he says. “the other two are trashed though.”
you were sitting on minkyung’s bed, chul sleeping next to you while lying on his stomach.
“that’s cute. it’s very us,” you chuckle.
“yeah, i forgot about how we met.”
he sits on the floor at your feet, resting his head against your knee.
“you kissed me out there,” you say quietly, not wanting to wake your son.
“and i do not remember minkyung hitting on me.”
“she did.”
“and i did kiss you. i want to kiss you now.”
you waggled your knees so his head knocked around.
“i missed you guys, like, i missed you guys so much and i didn’t even realize. like, he doesn’t even really have any friends, and i thought that was normal for someone at that age, since like, he’s three, but maybe i’m holding him back because i want him all to myself.”
“so we should all hang out together, so you don’t have to feel like that.”
“maybe you’re right,” you say, stroking his hair.
he takes his hands from your hair and kisses your fingers.
“do you want to go on a date?”
“hm.”
“thank you for watching my sweet baby,” you say to minkyung, pouting at chul and squeezing onto his hand. “be gentle with him.”
“um, i’m his aunt, of course i’m gonna take care of this little man!” she bounces chul up and down on her hip.
“you’re not his aunt, but i’m still grateful for you min, you’re the best,” you say. you slip out of the apartment door where the two of you stand. you push the empty stroller in front of you to the elevator while chul and minkyung play.
“where are you guys going? you look cute, by the way,” minkyung says.
“thanks! um, we’re going to see a movie.”
“omma! ajusshi says we were all gonna see a movie together!”
“you call your dad—” you hit minkyung in the arm.
“can it,” you hiss. “we don’t talk about that.”
“ohh, okay,” she says. “that’s a cool ajusshi, right?”
“yup!” chul says.
“chul, do you want to get in the stroller please?” you groan, unbuckling the belt.
“we’re taking a cab, i’m just going to carry him.”
“you sure?” you ask.
“yes, of course, why are you worried about us? worry about yourself. worry about your date.”
you shiver, “ugh, please don’t remind me. it’s a little bit weird to date like this. with guk, i mean. i haven’t had a date in like, an embarrasingly long time. i’m not prepare for this.”
“you look cute, girl! and you like, know what he likes, and your have his,” she points to chul. “you’re going to be fine.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” she says, walking out of the elevator. “please forget about us, enjoy yourself.”
“i’ll try. he should be pretty tired soon though, we went to the zoo earlier.”
“woah, the zoo? how was that?” minkyung asks chul. “did you see the horangi??”
“yeah, they were” he gives the double thumbs up, because just learned it and he loves that and he uses it whenever he can.
“oh yeah?”
“mmhmm.”
“hey, can i take your cab with you? i don’t want to have to hail one on my own.”
“of course, girl!” minkyung says, flagging one down.
you all file into the cab (the stroller in the trunk) and give the addresses.
“do you want tips for your date?” minkyung asks.
“no.”
“okay, for one, if you’re eating, don’t forget that lipstick only comes off in the middle, okay? and—”
“stop it, okay?”
she puts her hand on your knee, “and don’t forget that your house is free, and ready for you. and i snuck some condoms in your room because of your track record. you don’t need any more kids girl.”
“stop it!” you blush, putting your face into your hands. “talk to me less, okay?”
chul is back. he makes himself abundantly clear, running around the small apartment, kicking shit over, yelling out “TAEKWONDO STYLE” whenever he got the chance. you love your baby. but you also love not having your stuff broken into a million pieces.
“chul.”
“TAEKW-”
“chul!”
“-NDO”
“AYE CHUL YOU’VE GOT TO CHILL,” you yell, looking up from your laptop.
he stops in his tracks and sits formally on his shins and cries.
“oh, jeez, baby, like, i’m sorry, but you have to chill because, like, we’re going out!”
“to where?”
“to see gukie, we’re gonna have dinner tonight, with some friends, then maybe we’re going to get ice cream.”
“we’re definitely going to get ice cream!” he says, running around the room with his arms spread out like airplane wings.
“okay, like, we’re maybe gonna get ice cream.”
he stops running, “omma if we don’t get ice cream then we’re not going anywhere.”
“are you the grown up, little man?” you pick him up and swing him around upside down.
“omma!” he shrieks with laughter.
“chul can omma pick out your clothes for today? i want you to look super cool!”
“can i get ice cream?”
you sigh, “yes.”
“yay!”
“hello,” you say, hoisting chul farther up on your hip, the baby bag that you almost left in the cab weighing down your other shoulder.
minkyung stood in the doorway and smiled at you. “that’s all you can say after like, four years?” she opens her arms to hug you. “i missed you juice!”
“oh, shit, yeah... i—”
“and who is this baby!!” she squeals, pinching chul’s cheeks between her fingers. “you are a precious little piece of man! what’s your name?”
“...seokchul...” he said, nervous and looking down at the ground.
“oh yeah? that’s a good name! do you want aunty minkyung to hold you?” she puts her arms out for him. he grabs onto your neck and buries his face into your shoulder.
“he can be kind of shy,” you say.
“oh, he’ll warm up to me by the end of the night,” she finally lets you into the house and walks down the hall. “i can take your bag if you want.”
“um, i should keep it with just in case he needs something for this little guy.”
“seokchul is a really good name,” your ex-best friend says, looking back at you long enough to smile. “yongguk and zelo are in the living room, you can sit down with them, i’m just going to bring the food in.”
“okay, yeah, i’ll go through.” you put chul down on the floor and say, “you should go and find gukie.”
“okay!” he says, teetering down the hall towards where he assumed yongguk was.
you turn to minkyung, and you keep your distance at the doorway fo the kitchen and say, “this isn’t weird for you, is it?”
minkyung turns to look at you, then bursts into laughter. “it’s so weird! it shouldn’t be, but it is. it’s been so long, juice,” she pouts sadly. “i was shocked when guk called me. i didn’t even think he still had my number.
“but wait, you have to tell me what’s going on because he wouldn’t. how long have the two of you been together this time.”
“we’re not together now.”
“but that baby is like, obviously his son. you’d have to be blind to not tell.”
“we’re not together.”
“okay, so, when was the last time you were together?”
“pre-baby.”
“pre-baby! you’re lying!”
“no, i’m really not. we only just started talking again.”
“that’s wild. you two were inseperable before i went to japan for work.”
“uh, yeah, that’s why we have a kid. we got real close minkyung.
she laughs. “i missed so much!”
“yeah, not really, you just avoided drama city.”
guk walks into the kitchen and puts a hand on your shoulder. “you’re head.”
“yeah. are we late?”
“no,” he’s smiling down at you, “perfect timing.”
“okay good. we were just reminising on the golden days.”
“oh yeah?” he asks, letting his other hand dangle next to yours, the back of his hand rubbed against your, so you take it.
“yeah.”
“oh guk, you’re strong, can you take this tray out to the kitchen?” minkyung smiles, holding out the tray of jokbal and banchan.
“oh, sure,” he says, reaching out to take it.
“you’re gonna need two hands, oppa,” she chuckles.
he lets go ouf your hand sheepishly, “yeah. sorry.”
“no worries stud, juice, get the rice please.”
you walk to the counter to pick up the bowl of rice and yongguk waits for you at the door.
“hey,” he says once you’re alone together.
“hi,” you say, embarrassed already, “did you see chul?’
“yeah he called me ajusshi,” he laughs. “it was really funny.”
you half smiled, and as you see the light from the living room coming up on your left, yongguk plants a quick kiss on your cheek before walking into the living room.
“dinner’s here~” he sings, putting the food onto the low dining table.
your face is red hot when you step in. chul is in zelo’s lap, being tickled and laughing like his life depended on it.
“hey,” you say to zelo, “you finally got to hold him.”
“yeah!” he smiles, “he’s such a cutie.”
“thank you,” you say. “um, so i know your stage name but what do you want me to call you?”
“junhong is fine.”
“oh, cool,” you smile.
“i’m—”
“juice” the two boys say in unison.
you groan, “ugh, is that just, like, my name for life?”
“yes cutie,” guk says, sitting down close to your side.
“hyung!” junhong said, shocked.
“what?” he sayd, grinning like an idiot.
minkyung comes back in with plates and cups and utensils and then sits down next to you on the floor. “the gang is back! with two new editions!”
“oh, yeah, thanks for letting me come guys,” junhong says.
“of course! i love to have famous people in my house,” minkyung smiles.
“how do you guys know each other?”
“we met at a bar,” minkyung loves this story, “on our ninteenth birthday.”
“our?”
“yeah, we all have the same birthday, and we al went to the same bar to celebraate. it was kismet as hell,” you say, picking up a piece of pork and blowing on it.
“we were all there with other people, but then the bartenders gave us birthday shots and said we had to do them together, so we did.”
“yeah and minkyung was hitting on yongguk so hard, but he liked me better.”
minkyung gave you the finger. “okay, i was not hitting on him, i was drunk.”
“sure, so, then we decided to hang out again the next day, so we did, and we got drunk again, and had dinner and we three fell in friend-love,” you give chul a bite of pork. “do you like it?”
chul contemplates as he chews.
“that’s so cool!” junhong smiles, taking a bite of food himself. “that’s such a funny story.”
“but we all stopped hanging out again, like, just about a year later, because it was right around our twentieth birthday.”
“yeah, i moved to japan to do some singing type stuff—”
“she debuted in a japanese pop group,” guk embarrases her, “she likes to be modest to strangers but she was an amazing singer in an amazing japanese girl group.”
“yeah?”
“oh, we weren’t that good, but we’re on a hiatus, so i’ve been in korea for few months.”
“so you two dated?’ junhong asks.
“yeah,” guk says, “i’ve told you stories.”
there’s a pause, but it’s not uncomfortable.
ignore that guk called you juice-noona earlier b/c that was like a year ago and now i think they should be the same age.
you wake up in the morning and see that guk is still on your living room floor.
“what are you doing?” you ask, nudging his body with your foot.
“huh?” his voice is still heavy with sleep, and his eyes are red and puffy from the night before.
“what are you doing? i thought you were going to let yourself out last night,” you walk into the kitchen and fling open the fridge door.
“oh, shit, I must have fallen asleep. i’m sorry.”
“it’s fine,” you say, taking out a carton of eggs. “we’re having gyeran jjim.”
“we.”
“uh-huh,” you hum. “do you like steamed egg?”
“i like whatever you like, juice.”
“like, that’s a dumb nickname, and I don’t appreciate it,” you grumbled, cracking eggs.
“would you prefer tomato?” guk asks, walking into the kitchen to watch you cook.
“no. did you sleep in that?”
guk was still wearing his button down shirt and black jeans. he looked like a barista.
“you look like a barista.”
ha laughs, a deep laugh that comes out from all the way down in his stomach. “mmhmm,” and he backhugs you, with one arm around your waist and the other under your chin, holding you close to him and it feel nice and normal and familiar, but in a second, it doesn’t feel that way at all, it feels like your falling, but not in a good way. you feel really old.
“stop it,” you say, shrugging out of his grip and training your eyes downwards to the green onion.
“what?” he backs off immidietely, not wanting to make you uncomfortable/
“nothing, it’s just, like, i’ve known you for five days.”
“you’ve known me for five years,” guk says, his eyes narrowing.
“no, i knew, like, some other kid who was in your body, but yanno, we’re not the same. it’s not like, a bad thing, but it’s true. i’ve only known this you for, like, a workweek.”
“juice—”
“no, like, it’s not an insult, but, like, can’t we just get to know each other.”
you think he’s going to be nice, because he is nice, and... he’s nice. “it’s been like, four years since i last saw you, and you keep saying that you’re grown up and that you’ve changed but really, you’re just a scared little kid. I can go. I’m gonna go, I’m sorry that I didn’t leave last night, and I’m sorry that you are wo you are and I’m sorry that you don’t want your kid to have a father, even though he has one right here.”
“FUCK YOU.”
“whatever.”
“no, straight up, fuck you. i know you think this is the yongguk show, but it’s not. actually, you don’t just waltz into people’s lives and expect them to part like the red sea and make room for you and all your problems.”
“i don’t have the problem! you are the one with the problem, you have always been the one with the problem. you didn’t want to tell me about him, you didn’t want to figure things out with me, but you’re the one who came to find me so why the fuck did you come to find me?”
“i don’t know, jesus, guk, i don’t fucking know, it all just happened, and i’m beginning to regret it.”
“fuck you,” he spits, “fuck you for saying that because i didn’t do anything wrong? what did i do?”
“well, you were just mean and i didn’t appreciate that. and you called me a bad mom, and i didn’t appreciate that.”
“i’m talking about before!” he yelled.
and you start to cry, and it’s not like the crying yesterday, the crying that means growth, it’s like the kind of crying that means regression, and being pulled farther back into yourself and away from all your progress. it’s not the healthy kind of crying.
“i’m a really good mom, guk. you don’t even fucking know.”
he stays back for a minute, thinking about what he’s supposed to do for you, and then he steps forwards and hugs you and you let him. “i want to know.”
your nose runs. you’re not cute.
“fuck. guk. guk, this, this—”
“you know you don’t really have to say anything. i know you don’t think that i do, but i know you, juice. and i know what my life is like without you. and i want you back.”
“Thanks for coming,” you say, looking down at your lap. You rub your fingers together awkwardly, not knowing what to do with your hands. A big ol’ tear rolls down your cheek and now you have something to do with them.
“Of course I would be here.”
“Fuck, man, this is scary.”
Youngguk puts his arm around your shoulder.
Chul is also crying, rivers of tears washing down his face. “Omma! I don’t want to go!”
You scoop him up in your arms and hold him close to your chest. “Okay Chul, you’re not ready to go away. We’re not ready. We can just go home and eat some omurice and forget about this. We won’t talk about this. I love you so much baby, I love you. I don’t want you to leave me. I can’t live without my baby.”
“Juice,” Yongguk hisses through his teeth. “It’s just the weekend.”
“You don’t know what it’s like!” you wail.
Yongguk pulls Chul from your arms and hold him. “Hey big man.” Chul continues to cry. “You’re gonna go away to this Taekwondo camp for just two day! Just two days buddy, and then you’re going to come back to me and your mom and, I don’t know, we can do something fun all together! We can go to the movies, do you want to do that?”
Chul sniffles, “yeah...”
“Okay, then all you have to do is go to camp, and have a good time! And learn.”
“Don’t force my child to have fun. Let him feel what he wants. Let him stay with mommy,” you say, wiping your eyes on a tissue and reaching out for him again.
“Omma, I wanna go to the movies,” Chul says, his rivers drying up. “So I’m gonna be strong and not cry.”
“No, baby it’s okay to cry!” you say, taking his hand.
He pulls away from you and kicks at Yongguk until he puts him down. “I’m going. I’ll see you soon.”
You let out another sob. “I’ve been betrayed.”
Chul hugs your legs before running over to the other group of kids and becomes lost to you in the sea of black haired children.
You turn to Yongguk, your eyes wetter than ever, “Why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?”
Yongguk chuckles and wraps his arms around your shoulders, “Oh what a good omma,” he croons. “Look how much you love your baby. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, omma.”
Normally you would pull away, but since you were feeling so incomplete, you melted into his arms and cried some more. You can’t watch while the kids get onto the bus, so you don’t know if Chul is looking at you or not.
“Do you want to go now?” Yongguk asks politely once the bus has pulled out of the lot.
You dry your eyes and blow your nose and say, “you look stupid with that mask and glasses on, I hope you know.”
He laughs. “Oh, omma is stil sad.”
“Of course I’m sad! I’ve been with that baby since the day he was born. I’ve never spent a night without him!”
“Really?” Yongguk started to walk towards his small car. He opens your door for you.
“Yeah. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything before in the world.” You get into the car and tears flow out again.
“If you smother him he won’t be able to make any real friends.” The car starts up and he pulls out of the lot, driving quickly since all of the other parents had left long ago.
“Father of the year everybody.” Yongguk rolls his eyes. “Can you take me home now? I want to clean up his room and touch all his stuff.”
“Absolutely not. This is your first night away from the little demanding monster. You should go out!! You are going out!”
“Oh my god, don’t say that, he’s not a monster! And I can’t go out.”
“It’s Friday night and you can’t go out?”
“When did you learn to drive?” you ask, looking at Yongguk’s profile and squinting your eyes.
“What?”
“You couldn’t drive when I knew you. Who the fuck are you?”
Yongguk coughs. “I’ve grown up, okay.”
You roll your eyes and turn, looking out of your window out at all the buildings zipping by. You miss your son.
Yongguk coughs again, “Um, we don’t have to go out, not if you don’t want to, but we should hang out.”
You just grumble a non-committal response.
“Um, like, I want to get to know you better. I want to spend more time with you because, um,” Yongguk began to breathe in quick and shallow breaths, “I don’t know, I didn’t realize I missed you while I was away from you, like, I mean, after the first year or so, but now that I have you back—”
“Who said you had me back?” you mutter.
And then he cries. Like, ugly-crying, like, sniffles and red-face and sobbing. And you feel like a piece of shit, because famous people shouldn’t cry, and you shouldn’t make famous people cry, and people who you used to love shouldn’t cry either.
“Oh my god, Guk,” is all you can say though, even though you want to apologize and you want to tell him that everything is going to be okay, and that you kind of felt the same way, even though you missed him for much longer than a year, much much longer than a year. But you know that if you tell him that you’re going to have to admit it to yourself and you can’t take shit like that back, and if he knows, and he does it again, then you’ll know that he’s no good because he knew what it would do to you, but he did it anyway.
And then you start to cry. And you’re both ugly-crying messes driving down the street at fucking Mach-speed.
“Fuck. Guk. Where are we headed?”
He sniffles and coughs and wipes his eyes before saying. “I don’t know. I thought you would like, want to get dolled up for the first time in a long time and go out to dinner or—”
“I just want to go home,” you whimper. “I mean, with you, but I don’t want to go anywhere, because what if we cry more?”
You arrive at your apartment not fifteen minutes later. He parks outside of the building and you both scuttle up to the front door and you let yourselves in.
Immidiately upon entering you fall onto Chul’s soft playmat and close your eyes. “I’m gonna cry again, I think.”
Yongguk puts his hands in his pockets awkwardly and stands above you.
“It’s just like, overwhelming waves of anguish. Like, what if something happens to him and I’m not there to help... Oh shit, more tears.” Guk sits down next to you and puts his hand on your arm. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before.”
Guk lies down, matching your pose. He laughs, “yeah, I don’t do it that often.”
“Crying is good for you, I think,” you say, rolling onto your side to look at him. “I think it clears your head and your mind and your eyes. It’s like a shower for your soul.”
“Did you cry a lot when I was gone?”
“Don’t fish for compliments Guk.” You lie on your back. “Of course I did, I was 20 and pregnant and alone so, you can imagine my frustration... Scratch that, you cannot imagine my frustration.”
He doesn’t say anything and you exist in a state of suspended silence.
“It like, sucked, it was rough, but it was partly my fault, so I couldn’t really be angry. I mean, it was mostly your fault, but I had to take responsibility for myself and for Chul, so I could be frustrated, but I couldn’t be angry. It was counter-productive.”
“I’m sorry.”
You shrug as best you can, “You wanna hear something really sad?”
He whimpers.
“I gave birth alone. I mean, it was in a hospital, and there were doctors and stuff around, but they don’t count. It was just me and Chul. And he barely even counts... No, he counts. I fucking love him. But, I don’t know, giving birth is supposed to be a community thing, like, even if it’s just the parents, or if it’s your parents, or if it’s your best friends who will be like family for the kid. Like, there’s supposed to be someone holding your hand, or there’s supposed to be someone scared shitless for you in the waiting room. I don’t know what I expected, but I hope that someone—you, would jsut burst into the delivery room and I’d be complete, but that didn’t happen. It was really scary but what was I to do? I don’t have any family and I don’t have any friends.
“scratch that. chul is my family, and chul is my friends.”
And then he cries again. And you cry. and then you roll closer to him so you can cry together, and you both cry like you’ve never cried before. and when you both pull away you sniffle a little bit.
“I’m so sorry—”
“No.”
“I’m so so sorry—”
“I didn’t tell you that so you would feel bad for me Guk. I just told you because I trust you.” You put your hand on his cheek and make an apologetic face. “You don’t have to be sorry.”
“I just wish I was there. God, I wish you had someone to be there for you.”
“What’s done is done and you can’t undo it,” you mutter, sitting up a little too fast, getting a head rush.
“You trust me?”
“Huh? I-I don’t know. I don’t not trust you.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me in the first place. What did you think I would do?”
You pause, for like, a really long time. Like, if your life was a book, your response would be in another chapter. But it’s not so you say, “Um, it’s a really scary ordeal, and you were like, just coming up and I think I was less scared of you just taking off and leaving me than I was of you like, taking responsibility. Because I definetly would have ruined your life, and if we had like,” you choke, “got married or something crazy like that, a few years down the line you would have hated me, and you would have hated Chul, and that’s way worse than us being alone.” You stand up.
“Uh, thank you.”
You laugh, and cry a little bit, but mostly laugh, “Yeah. Um. Anytime.”
“So now what? Do we just, like, restart or?” Guk asks, still lying on his back, his eyes closed.
“Restart? Restart what?”
They flash open, “Us. What, do you not want to? Because I can, I can take care of you and I can take care of Chul now. Yeah, I’m still busy and everything, but I can do it! I want to do it.”
“I don’t... I don’t think this is really a good time. I don’t really think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
Guk closes his eyes again. “I don’t know at all. I just know that I was Seokchul to have a dad, and I want you to not be alone anymore and I don’t know any other way to make that happen but to just, like... Put it all out there.”
You exhale and sit up on the couch. You put your face in your hands and jiggle your knee because you can’t sit still. “I obviously want all those things too, but you don’t get what you want. You know, you just, like, get what you get and you don’t get upset.”
He laughs. “Yeah, but I’m giving myself to you. You get me.”
“God. Shit. Damn it.” you groan. “But what about, like, your fans and your band members and your managers?”
“Since when do you care about stuff like that? You’ve literally never cared about anything like that.”
"Baby, you know I love you," you coo into his ear, "So I need you to do this for me. It won't hurt, I swear. Okay, it might hurt a little, but you still have to do it. For me."
Seokchul screams, "I don't want to!"
"Can't you just jam it into his arm already?" you whine.
"No!" he screams louder, clawing at your arms and yanking at your hair.
"Hey!" you don't like raising your voice, but when you're being assaulted by a three year old. "Do you want to get the flu? Of course you don't, being sick is the worst, honey, so get the shot and be the healthiest kid in the world!"
"No, I don't want it!" he yells louder, "I don't want it!"
"Can't you do anything?" you bark at the nurse.
"Well, I can hold him down..." she trails of because that is an absurd idea. Before you can yell at her for wanting to restrain your child, there is a knock on the door.
The nurse crosses the room and opens the door. She gasps a little and then looks down, crossing back to her station to grab her phone from the desk. You roll your eyes as Yongguk walks into the room, "Can you please help me and then take selcas with him later please!"
The nurse yelps.
"Hey," Yongguk says. He sits in the chair next to you and reaches over to wipe the tears from Chul's face. "What's wrong baby?"
"I don't want to get the shot!" he cries, reaching his hands over to be held by Yongguk.
Yongguk takes your son from you and puts his head over his shoulder and held it there with his hand. He snaps his fingers at the nurse and mouths, "Now!"
"Oh!" she takes the syringe and easily glides it into his arm and then it's over—he's got his shot. "See Chulie, you're all done!" the nurse says, getting him a bandaid.
"That's it?" he sniffles, looking at her.
"Yeah, that's it!" she slaps him on the arm and smiles. "You can pay out front."
"Yeah, okay. Thanks so much," you say, grabbing your bags. You look down at Yongguk and Chul, "I can take him."
"No, I've got it," he stands with you.
"Who are you?" Chul asked, peeling off of his shoulder to look in Yongguk's face.
"I'm... I'm your mom's friend."
"Well, I wouldn't say friend," you grumble. Yongguk glares over at you. "What? You think we're friends?"
"Um, maybe you could take this outside..." the nurse says quietly.
"We're not friends? We're not at least friends? You can't even give me that?"
"Since when did I owe you anything?"
"Um, please free this room for another family..."
"You're so close minded, you've always been so close minded, once something bad goes on, you forget every other thing that's ever happened. How is that fair? Who is that fair to?"
"Fuck you, it's not my job to be fair to you—"
"Get out!" the nurse yells. "Pay and leave, please!"
"Oh, god, I'm sorry, we're sorry," you say, opening the door and walking back into the waiting room.
"Look, I'm sorry," Yongguk says, putting his arm around your shoulder.
"Ugh." You shrug him off and take out your wallet at the front desk. "Hi. How much was the shot?"
"₩25,000," the receptionist says.
You dig around for cash and while you're counting Yongguk slaps money on the counter.
"새상에," you groan, you take the receipt and the three of you leave the pediatrician's office.
"So, that was easy, wasn't it, Champ?" Youngguk says to Chul, shaking his hand.
"Yeah!" he says, squirming to get out of your arms.
"Are you going to walk?" you ask him, not wanting to slow down to the pace of someone whose legs are a foot long.
"Yeah, let me go!" You grumble a bit and let him walk on his own.
"Hey, Chulie, do you want to get a treat for being so brave?" Yongguk asks.
"Yeah!"
"You wanna raise him too?" you grumble under your breath.
"What was that?" Yongguk asks.
"Nothing, nothing. Chul what do you want to eat?"
"Ice cream!"
"Yeah, lets go get ice cream like one big happy dysfunctional family."
I'm writing the next part for juice, it's about halfway done, but I'm the busiest 17 year old on the planet this week, and monday i have a HUGE college scholarship interview, so hopefully I can have it up before Saturday!!
One and the Same is a web show created by three NYC teen girls. The show is about high school and how it’s different (but also exactly the same) for everyone…
HEY GUYS LOOK WHAT I MADE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KPOP BUT I WROTE IT/DIRECTED IT/EDITED IT WOOHOO
You woke the next morning with a headache akin to a hangover, but you hadn't drunk at all the night before. Oh yeah, you had an intense doorstep conversation at 2 in the morning with the father of your child. Fucking a.
Seokchul grabs at your duvet and pulls it clean off. "Omma."
"Wae?" you groan, rolling around trying to find a warm spot on the blanket. "Why do you do this to your mom?"
"What?" he asked, toddling around the bed trying to find a way up.
"Nothing, what do you want? Are you hungry?"
"I want omurice," he says, giving up on getting onto the bed and crawling under your blanket.
You sit up quickly, "I can do that! I can't do much, I can't talk to your father, but I can make some fucking good omurice."
"Omma, don't swear!" he scolds.
"What did I do to deserve such a good kid like you," you coo, reaching down and picking up the toddler shaped lump on the floor and throwing it onto the bed. "Give me a half hour, okay."
After making, devouring, and cleaning after the meal (that came out pretty good, not the best you've done, but there were no complaints) you sat on teh couch to watch TV together. Tayo was driving around the city or something, and you just realized that Tayo means "ride" and that he's a bus, but that's so clever, and then your phone rings. You absently answer it; "Yobusaeyo?" and, not gonna lie, are more interested in the show.
"Juice," Yongguk says through the phone, "What apartment number are you?"
"2-none of your business. You're an idol, aren't you supposed to be busier?"
"This is important to me, I found time."
"Are you downstairs right now?" you touch your not-yet-done hair and cringe.
"Yeah, let me up?"
"I'm 2F."
"Thank you."
You walk over to the intercom and let him in, waiting by the door for the knock."
"Omma," Seokcul calls, "Can I have some juice?"
"Dude, you're three years old, you can't get your own juice?"
He laughs sweetly, "You know I'm too small to get my own juice!"
Yongguk knocked on the door and you opened the door and walked into the kitchen. "Hello."
"Hi," he stood in the doorway, taking off his shoes. His laces snaked up his legs like the sneakers a gladiator would wear.
"Fucking idols," you grumbled, watching him from the kitchen. "Don't you own real clothes, like a real person?"
"These sneakers were 400,000 won, so."
"Do you want some juice?" you ask, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of grape juice. "We've got grape, lychee, and orange."
"I want to talk," he says, sitting at the table. "Also, orange please."
"Whose that?" Chul asked, pulling at the corner of your dress.
"I'm your app—"
"Woah, woah, woah, wait a fucking minute, what do you think you're doing?"
"I'm—"
"Let me rephrase that, shut the fuck up. You don't get to just walk in here and tell my kid shit like that."
"Juice—"
"And fuck you for thinking you could. Chul, go to your room." Your son ran. "Did you tin kyou would come here with your tall ass shoes and we would be like, fucking thanks for all you've done, daddy? Because we're not. We are fine the way we are you don't get to just fill my kids head with lies and expectations that you can't keep, you have no fucking clue what it's like to raise a kid. It's a lot more than showing up to my house and telling them that you're their father."
"Well, couldn't you give me a chance to do that?"
"Why should I, why should I give two shits what you want?" you say, screwing the top back onto the bottle of orange juice. "I've been doing pretty fucking swell without you. What are your plans, Guk? Are you going to magically be here for him for the rest of his life? Are you going to him to his first taekwondo class and to his first haircut and to get his flu shot tomorrow afternoon? You don't just get to do whatever you want and think in the moment and do what feels right. This is not some tv show, this is real fucking life and that's a real fucking kid." You take a breath and then scowl at him, turing away to pour the cup of orange down the drain. "Go home, this was a stupid idea."
"What about tomorrow?" he asks, still sitting at the table, his face's gone red. "Can I come while you get the flu shot? Please."
You scratch your head thinking for a minute, "Lucky you, because the bar is set pretty low today, so nothing else really matters. Come if you want. Don't come if you don't. Either way, try and not to talk to me until then, and, preferably, after. Our pediatrician is, like, five blocks from here, near the water."
"Thank you. And..." he paused, "sorry. You're right."
"Of course I'm right, now get out. I'm too pissed to look at you, but since I'm nice I'm still gonna let you put on your crazy fucking shoes in here, but I'm going into my room so let yourself out."
Yongguk's manager looked you up and down, his eyebrows so close together it looked like he had a unibrow and barked, "Who are you?"
"Excuse me?" you began, ready to verbally attack him.
"Manager-nim," Yongguk began, taking both of his manager's hands in his. "Can we talk about this in the car? This is the last schedule of the day and this is really important."
"No, Yongguk, I'm not going to let you bring home any strange girls, again, we can't have anymore sasaengs in the dorm. Not after last time!" the manager went to open the driver's door.
"Again?" you asked from behind Yongguk.
"Shut up. Please, Jinseok-hyungnim. This isn't some strange sasaeng fan," and then he brought his voice down to a whisper. "This is Juice-noona."
"Noona? I'm a year younger than you. You're my oppa."
He turned to you with a pleading look on his face. "Please, be quiet for a minute. I'm trying to get this done, just—we can talk about everything in one minute."
"Juice-noona? You said she was a sweet girl."
"I am sweet."
"No, you're not," he said, getting into the driver's seat. "But get in anyway. I'm taking you both back to the dorm."
"Actually, hyungnim, we need to go to her house."
"Don't push it."
"Yeah, but we can't go to the dorm with a baby."
"Fine!" the manager groaned loudly and slammed his hands on the steering wheel.
Youngguk pumped his first in the air and then slid open the back door of the van. "After you."
"I don't want to go in there," you said, suddenly nervous and self-conscious about being around a bunch of attractive young boys looking all haggard with a fucking baby in your arms.
"Why not?" he turned to you and crossed his arms. "We have to go."
"Because I..."
"What? Spit it out, you're not shy."
"I..."
Youngguk took a step closer, leaning down to bring your foreheads together. "I told you that you could tell me anything like, five years ago. That offer still stands."
You sighed, ready to bear your soul, when the manager honked the horn, startling both of you. You jumped apart and Seokchul woke again. He screamed at the noise, and grabbed clumps of your hair.
"Oh, Jesus-fuck," you said, patting his back. "Let's just go in, he needs to sleep."
Youngguk nodded and stepped into the van, greeting his members and making a beeline to the backseat where Jongin sat. You followed him, careful not to make eye contact and seem like you belong, even though you did not belong and were holding a crying baby.
You took your seat next to Youngguk and rocked Seokchul in your arms and his sobs turned to little whimpers, and then to nothing.
"Can you get me the blanket from his bag?" you asked meekly, tucking your hair behind your ears because that's something you thought cute girls did.
"Sure," Youngguk said, digging around in the bag for the Pororo blanket. When he found it, he put it on top of the baby and smiled at him. He turned his eyes to you and you quietly panicked in your seat. He frowned and then reached his arm over you.
"What the shit are you doing?" you said, louder than you needed to.
"You should wear your seatbelt."
"We're in the fucking backseat," you swatted him away. "I'm not wearing a seatbelt."
"Yeah, but you're with child--"
"That's not what with child means."
"--And what if he gets hurt?"
"Get hurt how? Shut the fuck up, he's going to wake up."
Youngguk stopped trying to fight you and sat back in his seat. "Fine."
He let you stay unsafe in your seat.
"Um," Zelo asks, "What's going on here?"
Youngguk swallowed, audibly, before saying, "She's a friend. She needed a ride home."
"Um," you said, "we're not friends."
"So why are you in here?"
"Because I needed a ride home and I have a baby."
"Can I hold him?"
"No, he's sleeping," you said coldly. Your softened when you saw his face fall, "Maybe before I get out."
Zelo smiles, "Thanks."
"I should leave with you, we should talk," Yongguk said.
"Talk about what?" Seokchul snuffled in his sleep.
"About everything, about us."
"You said you're just friends?" Zelo asked. "Can't you talk about this some other time."
"Still not friends, and yeah, you're right. We can talk about this in the morning."
"Juice!" the manager yells, "It's your stop!"
"Or, also never," you stood, gathering the bags that were at your feet.
"Let me help you," Yongguk said, grabbing the diaper bag and jumping out of the van before you could stop him.
"But I don't want you to," you start meekly. You smiled at Zelo, "Nice to meet you."
Can you do one where you work for yg entertainment and you and T.O.P. Have a secret affair? Btw your writing is really good!!! ^_^
Aren't you sweet?
You turned around and looked to see who had called your voice. It was your stylist trying to get your attention for the millionth time.
"Huh?" you asked, finally looking away from the blue haired boy in the mirror.
"I asked you to turn around," she said, scowling before she wrenched your chair around herself. "Geez, what's on your mind?"
"Nothing," you said, giving her a fake smile. "Sorry, I was just, like, uhm..."
"It's okay," she said, giving you a warm smile. "You've got to be nervous. No matter how many times you perform."
"Yup," you said, your eyes fixed on the mirror again, watching Seunghyun get his hair primped by his 'coordi-noona.' He laughed loudly at everything she said. "Nerves."
"But, you know what to do," she rambled on, giving her advice, despite the fact that she wasn't or had never been an idol, "It's just a talk show, you just have to be your cute self, alright?"
"Everyone," a worker said, peeking into the dressing room, "It's time to take your seat."
Your stylist hugged you, "You'll do great, okay?"
You knew you would do great, but you hugged her back, you were grateful for her being so nice regardless, "Thanks Soomin."
She slapped you on the butt as you walked away, "Get it!"
You blushed while Seunghyun looked over at the two of you, smiling coyly.
Rough translation of the illustrations (too brain - exhausted to even read the Twitter comment)
Top illustration, Mom says: “If you don’t study, you’ll grow up and become like that.”
Bottom illustration, Mom says: “You have to study and make the world a good place to live for people like him too.”
Rough translation.
Tweet says- It’s not so different that both illustrations classified the sweeper as “THAT(저런)” kinds of people and unconsciously or purposely treats inferior to them. The sweeper inadvertently became a tool of motivation to success of both of the illustrations.
I hate translating when off duty but I feel needed. Reblog again people.
OK, good! Then I wholeheartedly agree with that comment. It really bothered me that both illustrations seemed condescending towards the man. I was surprised that 허지웅 would post something like that, since from what I’ve gathered from his TV appearances (he’s my absolute favorite on 마녀사냥), he calls out bullshit like this all the time. But your translation of his comment puts it back into proper perspective—he would totally call out something like this.
Yeah so I've been very MIA lately guise I just finished my junior year today, and I'm doing a lot of creative writing lately including: A novel about werewolves and demons and mermaids living in LES A graphic novel called Casual Friday A web series about shit talking vampires and A short film about a college dropout who works in an ice cream parlor So yeah, I'm busy And I was thinking of posting some of my novel on here, but I didn't know if you guys would care or wwant to read it so Let me know guise But I still want to do his stuff too, but it does sometimes take a backseat, but I have been writing Juice slowly, slowly, but surely ok bye
최근 큰 체형의 여성을 위한 특별한 패션잡지가 창간됐다. 이달 초 출간된 ‘66100’이 그것이다. 여자 66사이즈 이상, 남자 100사이즈 이상을 목표 독자로 정한 이 잡지는 비만을 소재로 한 패션·미용·문화 정보를 담았다. 화보에서도 깡마른 여성은 찾아볼 수 없다. 푸근한 인상의 평범한 여성들이 당당한 표정으로 카메라 앞에 섰다.
“사실 아름다움에 있어 중요한 건 살이 찌고 안 찌고는 아닌 것 같아요. 스스로에 대해 자신감이 없고 예쁘다는 걸 모르고 지나치는 것이 문제죠.”
yay! first fashion mag for “larger” women launches in korea. quote from creater, “actually beauty isn’t about gaining weight or not. the problem is about not having confidence in yourself and not knowing and overlooking that you’re beautiful.”
