6 things to CONSIDER before you get married
Getting married is a big decision, and we often get the normal advice of “are you sure you want to be married” or “is he or she the right one” and my personal favorite “don’t you think you should wait, your so young”. But marriage is more than just simple questions like “am I ready”, marriage is a strategy in itself, you must know yourself and understand what it means to share a life with someone else. So I went ahead and did a little research, and decided to put together 6 different things people should consider prior to getting married. These aren’t things that need to be done prior to being married or for a marriage to be good, but things to keep in the back of your mind when making the decision to get married. Remember these are just opinions, so let's get started.
1. Understanding who you are, this includes knowing if you are the type that likes burgers for lunch or salad, I know what you think Burgers or salad? I’m saying understanding what you like and what you don’t like. Do you like long walks on the beach or do you like long nights at the club? These are simple questions but much of the time people often think they like something but really they only do it to impress the person they like. So go find out who you are, do you like to travel or do you like to stay in your comfort zone. This really helps you to know if you can have a great relationship with the person.
2. Dating and marriage are not the same, this one is directly from my wife, “it’s not because dating was good that you should get married.” This brings me back to know yourself, it’s so much easier to date because most people don’t go to sleep in the same bed at the end of the night, this means if you get in a fight you go home, next day you call and makeup, on the other hand, marriage demands that you and your spouse work together through issues even if it means giving up on your pride.
3. Consider living together, this is known by several millennial nowadays, but being that I and my wife was raised in a very religious family living together for too long without being married would not be received well. But honestly, I personally believe that it’s okay to do that, it helps you and your partner understand how you two can deal with issues when they come up, this includes understanding how to deal with issues like cleanliness issues like dishes and house cleaning as well as monetary issues like paying bills.
4. Learn to communicate, this is good for marriage as well as outside the marriage. This is because becoming a good communicator means you understand how to listen to others so that others can also listen to you. People often listen to answers and never listen to understand. So take your time to learn the best way to communicate with your partner.
5. Only people can change themselves, remember that you will not be able to change someone, the person must be willing to change for you. This means if you are expecting your girlfriend to be different after marriage you are wrong if she is not showing you change during the dating life you likely will find the same attitude and issues during marriage life. So be vigilant and pay attention to your relationship.
6. Are you compatible, I know I’m kinda repeating myself, but this is so much more important than you think. People that cannot work with each other at work don't get work done, and marriage where two people do not work well together often leads to failure. I’m not saying you have to like the same things and have the same taste, what I'm saying is that you must be able to work together to achieve great things. Compatibility means understanding one another and loving each other for who they are.
There are so many more things I could have added to this list, but I wanted to put together a list that I think is important for people to understand and hopefully will help you and others make a conscious decision about the next step they will take in their life. This is an important one so think wisely.
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