now iâm listening to al green on her alexa. my gf is literally the best. howâd i get so lucky?
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@yr1996
now iâm listening to al green on her alexa. my gf is literally the best. howâd i get so lucky?
had some funky dreams last night only i donât think they were rly last night they happened in the like. three hour span of marj leaving for work n me waking up again.
1. i remember we kept hearing the keypad to unlock our door beep beep beep over and over and over as if someone just kept pushing it and after a few minutes dad went to check it out. i was expecting him to open the little door wothon the door to peer out first but he just opened the door which made me a lil scared. two neighbors stood there, a man and a woman, and they left as soon as we opened the door. it was rly something.
2. i saw marjâs best friend but she didnât remember me at all. like she knew of me bc of marje but didnât remember meeting me in high school or college? but it was rly nice! i was like âoh nws we have met but u were at evergreen and i know ur so passionate abt ur studies and i rly love that abt u! i donât expect u to remember meâ and then she helped me unload the dishwasher but she didnât kno where anything went and also it kept hurting me for some reason? the process of unloading the dishwasher i mean. also i went to text ceridwyn somethin and i already had her and her brothers numbers?
2b. ceridwynâs brother posted online that he doesnât like his gf anymore and i texted him some advice. i remember the second piece of advice kept seeming too close to the first one. i think i was like âwell try to rly get to know her and relearn what u love abt her, or try rly hard to see why u love herâ idk they seemed too similar it was weird. and then i had to frantically text him again later like âOH OR BREAK UP thats an option if ur not happy!â but i think i moved onto another dream before i had the chance to say that??
i just upped my dosage of my antidepressant and its been making me v sensitive and iâve been cryin a lot. happy cry sad cry frustrated cry. its so much and i hope my meds settle down soon. iâm rly lucky i have a good support system and my partner is so nice to me.
itâs just really hard when you make me feel soooo loved on tuesday but as soon as we arenât physically together anymore it falls apart. and like. things have actually gotten a lot better in that regard, which is really good. but itâs just hard when i can tell words arenât a huge love language for u but they are for me and theyâre the only love language that can really persist when weâre not physically together. and i know iâm supposed to know you love me but i still need to hear it! and it just rly hurt earlier when like. all i wanted was to hear that you love me (especially before two job interviews when i roy need some support) but even when i told you that i didnât hear it and it just makes me feel powerless. like i get that we donât always get what we want but saying âi love youâ seems like it shouldnât be too hard to do, especially when someone who works so hard to make you feel loved asks for some in return. and maybe it feels inconsequential but it rly matters to me that you say it in the contexts of the times i said it yesterday bc both are times where its gonna be a while before i get to talk to u again and ending on âi love youâ is very reassuring to me.
also. can u please work on getting me ur weekend availability sooner?? it just feels like thereâs this power imbalance wherein iâm stuck not being able to make plans with anyone else because i prioritize seeing you but you donât tell me when youâre free until the last minute and it feels like iâm prioritizing you and youâre putting me on the back burner. and i get that u have responsibilities and family stuff but i just need you to communicate better between me and them because id like to be able to plan my weekends without saying âmaybeâ to every plan until i know when iâm seeing you and then everyone else has decided to make other plans since i couldnât commit.
god iâm so excited to see my girlfriend and fucking make out with them sgalasfbrkel
im so grateful and happy to have such wonderful people in my life.
i am so in love with the person im with and they love me too and i cant believe how good it is. they're so good to me and good at making me feel good.
my friends are fantastic and i feel like i have a really solid group of friends with room to grow and make more friends? which is wild and i love so much. and ive made several other really good connections with people that i know are gonna last beyond my time at psc.
i just feel rly good for once i love it
please im begging you just give me an ounce of attention
im tired and sad and i have no idea where to turn for validation and im just. rly fuckin lonely
drunk: broke
high: woke
drunk: overthink everything, get sad, havin a bad time, amplifies whatever im already feeling
high: rational thought, social anxiety severely lowered, helps me process my feelings
drunk: broke
high: woke
i dont think id choose to spend time with you as a friend
appreciate my butt
share common interests
share a sense of humor
touch me
kiss me
tell me you love me
the thumb thing?
appreciate me
soft
gentle
kind
i feel lonelier with you than i ever did by myself
why do i still feel so alone
idk the kind of person that asks "do you really have a cassette player" or "do you even have a vcr?" is probably pretty boring
why am i acting the way i am feeling the way i am hurting myself the way i am