You've been running this ask blog for a long time, right?
I have a blog that I was originally gonna post some of my own art, but I didn't like all of my 4th grade looking drawings, and didn't have much motivation to do anything with it, so I deleted the 6 or 7 posts I did have, and decided to try and make a clean slate for myself.
I don't really know where my blog is gonna go now though.
I want to run an Ask Blog, like you. You were one of the biggest reasons I even discovered Tumblr in the first place.
But I have NO idea what character or franchise to go with, and I'm not sure if I can keep a character without my own bias/headcanons/OOC personality from ruining it.
That, and I'm kinda struggling to find my footing when it comes to identity.
My gender, how others could perceive my interests, my self worth, etc.
That, and always being afraid or nervous about how most of my family, specifically my dad, would react. My father has a habit of calling me and my siblings "names" when he's mad.
And "Mad" is the only emotion he seems to feel a whopping 65 percent of the time.
It also doesn't help that I don't really have a circle of friends nearby either. I'm almost 15, and I've only ever head 2 playdates in my whole life.
Sorry if this isn't the mood you want on your blog, but I just kinda needed someone to vent too.
The internet is all I have in terms of entertainment, or just interaction with the world in general. And all I've had for years.
I want to make myself comfortable with myself, and for the job of Content Creator I want to peruse when I can.
I want to make this big part of my identity a safe place for me.
I just don't know where the hell to start.
This is a big one! And I think it's a question others might have, so I want to answer it publicly - I hope you don't mind that.
(If you do, reach out to me and I'll remove it asap.)
But okay, let's get into it.
So..... admittedly, you may not like my answer very much. Please don't take it personally - I'm just speaking in the general sense.
To start: I think your ambition is great, and I think setting goals for yourself is awesome. This is an incredible first step to getting out there and living the life that you want.
However, I want to challenge your perception just a little bit by asking you:
Do you want to Create, or do you want to Have Created and Get the Recognition?
Because....... crucially - these are two different things.
They can coexist! And they can come together naturally. But you need to be honest with yourself about what you want to DO. Not what you want to BECOME - but the sort of work you'd enjoy doing.
I think you actually have a lot of self-acknowledgement with the last thing you said: "I want to make this big part of my identity a safe place for me."
But crucially, as someone who has been labeled as a Content Creator, I want to give you the biggest piece of advice i can give anyone:
DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tie your identity to a product.
I've been where you've been. I've lived in a volatile family environment. It's not fun. It robs you of your freedom to express yourself, and to PRACTICE expressing yourself. Everything feels like a huge undertaking. It feels like you HAVE to take big steps. Even small steps feel like big steps.
And it can feel like, when you Achieve something in the future, that will be The Happy Ending that you're imagining. You will Figure Things Out if you just Do The Thing Well Enough.
But that sort of thinking can easily drive you into a spiral.
And I'm really proud of you for trying to get your life together and give it meaning through all of that! That's a great way to assert yourself and start becoming YOURSELF and an adult.
But the reality is, it's way healthier to NOT tie these things together into one big katamari.
Your identity - who YOU are, and who you want to live is, is one thing.
You have to find a way to be comfortable with yourself BY YOURSELF. Outside of content. Outside of what you make. Outside of Likes, and Reblogs, and Engagement. Outside of other people. (You can talk to people about identity, of course, but your identity should not DEPEND on what others think or say about you or what you create, ideally.)
Your goals and passions - those are another.
I am me regardless or what happens to WDAU. I think it's easy to look at me and say Wow, Yeah, That Chekhov That Does WDAU! and define me by that from the outside. But for me, I'm just doing what I love, and the RESULT happens to be WDAU. If all you readers suddenly disappeared, I'd be bummed - but I would not lose my definition of self.
And finally, entertainment and the internet - those should be LOCATIONS for you to practice your individuality, to communicate and to create and explore. They should not be a cage for your identity OR what you want to be doing.
The reason I mention this is because you specifically said:
"I want to run an Ask Blog [...] But I have NO idea what character or franchise to go with..."
My advice is gonna be - DON'T!
Don't force yourself to pick something just because you feel like you Need To in order to achieve your goals.
Don't tie yourself down into one idea just because it's a Choice you have to make.
My advice is: Be patient. Wait. Read things, watch things, enjoy yourself! Think about yourself, figure yourself out.
Wait for inspiration. Wait for the moment when you actually want to DO something.
Not "I want to Have Done something and be recognized for it", but for the moment when the act of creating that thing brings you joy.
That will be a good time to start Creating. Because then, you'll have something to do that makes you happy - and THAT should be the ideal time to be yourself.
Not the time when your entire happiness and identity depends on Running An Askblog In The Way You Imagined.
When you are happy doing something, instead of doing it just because it feels like The Job You Have Chosen - THAT is when you will have the most fun existing as yourself.
And ultimately....... I think that's the point.
You have to find things that make you happy in the moment. You have to find joy in what you ARE and what you DO.
Everything else - that's small stuff. Don't worry about it. It'll come.
