Pairing: Kuroo Testurou x f!reader
Genre: sfw, angst(?), fluff(?)
A/N: AHHHHH! This is my first time writing period. I have never written anything close to this this so pardon me for any typos or inconsistencies. I rushed to put this idea to paper before it left my small brain. There are a few flashbacks, hopefully they wonât be too confusing. Thank you!
âI learned to make soft-boiled eggs for youâ
His smile was tinted with pain. Eyes soft and blurred as he felt them well with the beginnings of tears. His voice sounded parched, almost half strangled. Your own stomach lurched as the rest of your body just froze in place. Of all the things to bring up in a time like this-
âYou know they are really annoying to make?â
Kuroo brought a hand to cover his face as he poorly attempted to chuckle through the lump in his throat that still refused to move. His usual teasing demeanor was completely washed away and now the tall tower of a man stood before you trying his best to look at the ground. Somehow despite his stature he look smaller. It was unnerving. It wasnât Kuroo.
â6 minutes in boiling water. Thatâs what the old man said. And then you have to dunk them in cold water before you peel them. The amount of dishes I go through just to make some soft-boiled eggs...â
âI get that, but what does this have anything to do with...anything? What the hell is going on?â
The winter wind whipped between the two of you, but neither of you felt a thing. Kuroo, in spite of himself, would bet that your gaze would be piercing through him right about now. Your eyes were like cold water after a game: shockingly refreshing to the point where it would almost hurt. Constantly searching for the truth under all his jabs and trolling. Much like ice, they would melt every time you laughed. And boy, did he love it when you laughed. Especially when he would be the one to make your sides hurt so much that your eyes would crinkled in the corners. He could do that. Your laughing eyes would radiate on him like sunshine on a cool, spring afternoon back when the two of you were running around Nekoma High together. Everyone and their mother knew of course, but the two of you were thick as thieves and just as dense to whatever was blooming between the two of you.
Sure, High-school Kuroo would not have been anywhere close to being able to untangle the complicated feelings within himself. He was already in a whirlwind of classes and volleyball. The cool-headed, constantly antagonizing, captain of the volleyball team had to steer his ship straight through hell or high water. Kuroo didnât have anymore room in his heart for anything else.
Or so both of you thought. And yet, standing before you today, 2 years into college, Kuroo had every compulsion to go back in time and shake his younger-self senseless. No room left? How wrong he was.
â§ď˝Ľďž: *â§ď˝Ľďž:* ăă FLASHBACK ăă *:ｼďžâ§*:ｼďžâ§
It wasnât as if you havenât seen each other since high school. No, Kuroo made sure that you were going to be within a reasonable distance from him so he could keep bothering you hangouts could still be possible. Thanks to Kurooâs military-like study schedule, you were actually able get into the same university (your parents thanked him a little too excessively to your liking). Kuroo was heading for Chemical Engineering. To everyoneâs surprise, you were going to try Biology. You realized in high school that when Kuroo made you you actually applied yourself, you found biology to be a little interesting. It felt like nothing was going to change. But things did, as life always does.
Your friend groups expanded independently from each other. Kuroo started playing for the University Volleyball Club and when Kenma entered the same university, Kuroo roped him along. Both of you were taking on intense majors that ate up your schedules. When Kenma (bless him) started sharing an apartment with him, he became the only real excuse for you both of you to meet each other, but somehow the two of you seemed more like awkward acquaintances than best friends. As the time between meet-ups grew longer, you both began to notice how different you became.
I donât remember him being this tall...did he grow?
Ah, she grew out her hair...she looks...
Sometimes you had to dip from a movie night early because you had to cover for someone on a group project last minute. Late game nights would end when Kurooâs phone buzzed with a few too many messages from a girlfriend indicating he had to go. Maybe back then you would have had the courage to tell him about his current choice in women, but all you could so was feel the dull pang in your chest and wave goodbye as he sheepishly left the apartment. These were the nights where Kenma, your ever patient and trusting friend, would turn to you and ask if you were okay.
âOf course! Why wouldnât I be?â You had a feeling he knew you werenât okay at all, but you were thankful that he chose not to pry further.
You only didnât know that Kenma, in his best effort to try and keep his two best friends from self-imploding, was asking the same questions to Kuroo. Despite the few girlfriends that have come and gone or even the good, great, or bad games heâd play...
âOf course! Why wouldnât I be?â
âWhy do I have a very good feeling that is a bold-face lie?â
âohohoh, since when were you able to read me so well?â
âBecause that is literally my job.â Kenma whipped his gaze from his game to Kuroo. Kenmaâs eyes were just as piercing as yours, but at this time, they were needle-like, pricking Kuroo rather than analyzing him. Almost as if to try and tease out whatever he was trying to hide. âAre you going to admit you are actively avoiding Y/N-san, or are you going to continue on like this?â
âWhat do you mean? I am not trying to avoid anyone,â he said half-playfully from his desk.
âAre too. I can only guess because itâs going to be Y/N-sanâs birthday soon and you are debating on being a no-show...again.â
The last word hit like a dull thud in his chest. He wasnât wrong. He missed it last year. He had every reason to go. He would have been able to see his old Nekoma buddies and despite how busy the two of you were, he was supposed to be your best friend. And yet, he couldnât bring himself over to your place. Not after what seemed like a year full of insurmountable awkwardness that built up between the two of you. You both changed and grew up so much he wouldnât know how to think straight if he were to see you again. It scared him.
Because ever since you both graduated high school and slowly started being pulled your separate ways, he realized how much your very presence was like water in the midst of a desert. Why was it that the cheers from his past girlfriends seem so muted compared to yours when you were hollering from Nekomaâs stands? Others would borrow his hoodies, but yet he can still remember the smell of your detergent after you borrowed and washed it for him. He has held so many hands, but none could really draw warmth into him like the times you have split a hot meat bun in front of the convenience store after practice. He couldnât help but see you everywhere, regardless of whether he was dating or single. In the sounds, the sights, the smells, he thought of you and would imagine how you look if you were with him in those moments. Would you intensely stare at it, trying to drink it all in? Would your eyes melt like they used to in laughter?
What would they look like if they were looking at him? Â
If he could go back to high school, heâd have asked if he could have held your gaze just a little longer. Forever, in fact.
But now? He couldnât bearing looking straight at you, about to cry over soft-boiled eggs.
â§ď˝Ľďž: *â§ď˝Ľďž:* ăă FLASHBACK OVERăă *:ｼďžâ§*:ｼďžâ§
You both were still standing in front of your apartment. The sun was about to set and a few streetlights were beginning to turn on.
You didnât expect him to show up...at all. You already prepared yourself when Kenma arrived alone yesterday to your birthday party. Â He handed you a small gift bag full of stationary (which you adored) with a small card signed âFrom Kenma & Kurooâ. It was definitely in Kenmaâs handwriting, but you didnât want to bother asking what you knew was going to be a disappointing answer. You went to sleep happy seeing old friends and turning another year older, but it still felt somewhat incomplete. An unfulfilled birthday wish that may never be fulfilled in the future. But by dinner time the next day and one rushed doorbell press later, here he was.
He ran. You could tell from the sheen across his face, but he was trying to measure his breaths as best he could.
He had gotten so tall. His figure almost seemed to block out the doorway as he was leaning on your door frame. His bed head was still very much the same and just what you remembered (although Kenma was telling you it has gotten worse). His eyes...didnât meet yours.
âKuroo...is everything okay? Itâs freezing...â Your heart was pounding in your chest.
âDo you remember that time you were sick in high school? Really sick that you couldnât come to class so I had to bring you two days worth of notes?â
âYeah, but what does this have to do wââ
âYou had the worst stomach bug and yet as soon as you got better the first thing you wanted to eat was ramen from the shop down the street,â his hand still hadnât left his face. âOf all the things a sick person chooses to eat, you wouldnât stop whining about ramen and how amazing their soft-boiled egg was.â
It was true. That day you felt horrible inside and out, but you were desperately craving something warm and fatty. Weeks prior, you were hounding Kuroo to come try the ramen with you and how ooey-gooey the egg was.
â§ď˝Ľďž: *â§ď˝Ľďž:* ăă FLASHBACK ăă *:ｼďžâ§*:ｼďžâ§
âItâs perfection. I still see it in my dreams.â
âuh huh, well I have a tournament this weekend so nothing fatty for me this week. So for now, keep it in your dreams,â he laughed and flicked your forehead. You jokingly pouted as the two of you headed out of your classroom.
However, as soon as the team came back from their tournament, you were sick for two days. Kuroo made it his mission to stay by your side. You didnât have the strength to leave the house, but one night, when your appetite was coming back, Kuroo knocked on your bedroom door and brought in a hot bowl of instant ramen and the best looking soft-boiled egg you have ever seen.
âYour mom let me borrow the kitchen. Itâs nothing fancy, but Iâd figure this will get you to shut up about ramen and eggs for now,â he smirked as he proudly showed his work.
âIâm just astounded you are able to create something edibleâ
âAlright if thatâs the case, I can just take this back-â
âWait! I still want it!â His smirk grew bigger as he readied his chopsticks.
âMy patient, my rules. Ahhh.â
âYou arenât even a doctor!â
âOut of the two of us, I think my grades show that I have the better chance of becoming a doctor. Now open up or so help me I am going to call up Yamamoto-â
It was delicious to say the least and the egg? Perfection.
â§ď˝Ľďž: *â§ď˝Ľďž:* ăă FLASHBACK OVERăă *:ｼďžâ§*:ｼďžâ§
âYeah...I still remember that. It was...I-it was good.â Kuroo took a deep breath.
âI asked the old man from the shop about how to make a soft-boiled egg.â A small smile cracked beneath his pained face. âHe almost laughed me out the door for coming to a ramen shop to ask about eggs. But when I told him it was for a sick friend who was madly in love with his ramen and eggs, he showed me.â
Kuroo dropped his hand and raised his gaze. When his eyes met yours, you felt like the ground was taken from underneath you and the air sucked away from your lungs. The sheer intensity in his eyes was unlike what you have ever encountered. It was like embers burning through you. It was colored in a mixture of pain warped with sorrow and...longing? Â This was both a familiar and new face all at once. Youâd never though you would be able to see Kuroo make this kind of face, much less towards you. Tears were starting to brim in your eyes as well, but you couldnât look away. You didnât mean to, but your hand went to hold his cheek, trying to catch any stray tears that might fall. When you realized what you did, you tried to pull it back.
But he held it there. He held it there as if he needed it there. And he did.
He needed you like a drowned man needed air. He needed to hear your voice pierce the noise of the crowd at his games again. He needed the way your eyes shined whenever you learned something new. When he looked at you now, he could see those eyes he missed so much. This time, they looked so soft and warm. Is this how you always looked at him? Why didnât he say something sooner? Heâs missed so much in a few years, but he didnât want to miss anymore.
He pulled your hand down from his face, but he still held it in his. He eyes never moving from yours.
âIt took me quite a decent amount of eggs to get it right. But what I didnât realize was that, if I was doing this for a friend who was madly in love with some ramen and eggs...I must also be madly in love with that person.â
You couldnât have stopped the tears even if you tried, but Kuroo pushed onward while trying to also simultaneously use his sleeves as a tissue. The tension broke and the two of you were half giggling as you both acknowledged what a hot mess you were.
âI am so sorry for being so late...and so dumb...and, I really do need to apologize to Kenma...and wow, you have so much snotâ
âYou have absolutely have no right to say anything about snot right now.â You lightly punch his shoulder as you feel your face flush. Kuroo chuckled and he brought you into his arms. If you werenât already an emotional mess, you might fallen over from sheer shock. Face buried in his chest, you could hear how fast his heart was beating. It was also incredibly warm despite the winter cold surrounding the two of you. You wrapped you arms around him and he placed his chin on your head, thoroughly tucking you in. For all intents and purposes, this was what ârightâ felt like. He squeezed you a little bit, to make sure that this was real. It was.
âWhat I am trying to say is: (Y/N), I am sorry I am late, in more ways than one. Iâm sorry for missing your birthday, but also for not realizing that after all these years...I missed you and I love you. I always have and a lot more than I thought I could bear.â
His heartbeat was now rocketing off into space and you felt your blush grow deeper as you tried to hide your face.
âYou donât have to like me back, but I can only assume from the way we are standing...â His voice was slowly reverting to a familiar teasing tone.
âOf course, you idiot. I-I missed you too. And I love you,â you mumbled, internally dying from the reality of saying it out loud.
You couldnât see his face from the way you were burying yourself in the hug, but Kurooâs face washed with both relief and elation. He was giddy and his heart felt so full, it felt like it could burst. He squeezed you even harder as he pressed his lips to the top of your head.
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