(𓁹 𓁹)

23 yes this is my sideblog (follows from gotoz0mbie1uvr) too late now i don’t wanna make a whole new one even though this is technically my main oops . any pronouns

[z0mbie1uvr]

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

ao3 // spotify // twitter // pinterest

[gaypeople]

I tried to paint alternatives. Lucid what ifs. Wear a different suit the night you meet Lestat at the Fair Play. Snatch the piece of candy back from the barber when you're seven years old. Would I have been stronger sooner? Would I have resisted Lestat two decades later? Snatch the candy! Be the man in the different suit. But the suit changes nothing, and again... I'm kissing Lestat on the altar.

[shanesleftskate]

I KNOW that the head ilya got post meeting shane’s parents and proving that he’s a certified™ good guy and suitable partner for their son was crazyyy, and ilya’s definitely all sweet and happy after successfully being shane’s boyfriend where other people could see and maybe he wants more of that cute domesticity he’s never been able to have but shane’s just looking at him, like a wild animal, before going ‘ilya take your pants off right now’ and then he uno reverses the rozanov tornado blowjob

[gravityjunior]

Starting a collection

[thewindmillisoutoforder]

one day a rookie is gonna flirt with yuna hollander not knowing who she is. her response will be "oh i'm flattered but you are young enough to be my son who, by the way, will KICK YOUR ASS in this next game." and during the game he will get slammed into the boards at approximately the speed of sound.

[w0lfkller]

face pressed up against your longing

[sweetangelfart]

The folks at the ikea in Ottawa are so accustomed to see shane and ilya shopping for bedframes furniture that one of the older sales women who is all very stern looking and no bullshit bitch face just straight up tut-tut-tuts in their faces after finding them in the beds aisle again for the 3rd time in the 4 months since their first visit.

Shane refuses to make eye contact with her while a pink blush paints the back of neck and burns his cheek. Ilya on the other hand is bashfully delighted and if not for shane grabbing him by the lapels of his sweater and whispering in broken russian through gritted teeth.

The lady looks at them this time and ilya greets her with a big big smile and tells them that they're here to buy a bed frame again thats a bit more sturdier. Shane is quick to add the fact that it is due to them being athletes and bulky and the previous frames being unable to accommodate the same...not due to anything else. He looks like he might throw up with how pale he looks.

The lady just hmphs, rolls her eyes and says... maybe you boys should get a custom frame made, you're going through them like candy...and walks away to fluff up the pillows of another set. Both ilya and shane look at her with their mouth open like a fish. Shane nearly leaves skid marks pulling out the parking lot while ilya just howls with laughter sitting in the passenger seat.

They end up dropping bigggg bucks on getting a solid bedframe with a few bells and whistles added for their new expeditions and shane is so so SO glad for her suggestion.

[aprilsmoking]

我靠我到底在画什么。。不管了（）

[persianmom]

y’all hype up men on this app that I would personally use as a scarecrow

[kaijuno]

[magnoliamyrrh]

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

[birdsareblooming]

thinking about this tag on my post again. i'm saying this all the time forever

[z0mbie1uvr]

gambling ad after ozempic ad after gambling ad after ozempic ad after gambling ad after ozempic ad after

[z0mbie1uvr]

oh and how could i forget ai ads!

[lierdumoa]

Every time an author reassures readers that the smut is skippable I sigh a disappointed sigh. This is not a reassurance. Why would anybody who likes smut want to read smut that was only included as an afterthought and has no impact on the narrative? Insulting. Just don't write it at all if you're not going to make it matter.

[lierdumoa]

#on the one hand I understand that some people don’t want to read smut

Like 85% of tumblr users hate and loathe embarrassment based comedy with every fiber of their beings, but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure their audience that the embarrassing scenes are skippable.

Lots of people dislike tragedy but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure the audience that the death and grieving scenes are skippable.

Stop trying to pass off self-censorship as “accommodation.” Stop trying to pass off pandering as “inclusivity.”

Your audience can smell your fear, and it smells rancid.

[perenial]

sorry for finding it hot when people's hair goes grey. as if im wrong

[ottawacentaurshq]

HUDSON WILLIAMS APPRECIATION WEEK

favorite look: just... THIS

[wyatthazy]

never doubt ilya knows how the staff likes to be treated after all these years