C. A. L. M

Semi-Pro dancer from the South of England, bands are life- single- short and bitter- like a human espresso- would rather be anywhere else 90% of the time

[everythingfox]

Sleepy duck

[omghotmemes]

Gotta make money somehow

[superiorjello]

The older this gets the funnier it is

[killerkanye]

[apocalypticinsomnia]

when ur friends are insulting something they know ur sensitive about

[softobjects-deactivated20170109]

[heartbeatemoji]

me and the girls out on the town

[shenis]

I’m the girl on the right sitting down because my feet hurt and my shoes are uncomfortable

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

[wolfy-gecko]

[this-is-cthulhu-privilege]

[trenchcoats-anonymous-deactivat]

I can smell the entitlement in the air

[volcel-official]

Oregon was a mistake

[thevoluntaryist-deactivated2018]

[faedreamer-deactivated20180128]

Oregon, what you doin???

[earlgreytea68]

I think I am most bewildered by how many people seem to think that you spend the rest of the day reeking of gas fumes if you touch a gas pump. Do they think you pour the gas all over yourself…? Why are these gas fumes clinging to you through your day such that you will not be fit to be around other humans…? 

[catbountry]

I don’t think people from New Jersey act like this because their state is small enough that they’ve probably left it and had to pump their own gas like the rest of us.

[jumpingjacktrash]

i didn’t realize there were still gas station attendants in the usa

do y’all seriously not pump your own gas

how do you function

[thedaniverse]

I’m originally from PA and learned to pump my own gas there, but now live in NJ in the lap of no pumping luxury

There absolutely are people who left NJ and realized they have no idea how to pump gas, but it gets solved pretty quickly by just leaving the state

[naxiom090]

as a new jerseyian i look at it like this, more jobs means less people getting in trouble.

[this-is-cthulhu-privilege]

Now y'all should make it illegal to mow your own lawn and wipe your own asses.

[mote-of-lobross-deactivated2019]

Wow what a bunch of entitled fucknuts. When I worked a self service gas station in Texas when I was in high school, every time I saw an Oregon or NJ plate, almost every time they just stare blankly like I’m gonna get up out in the cold and pump their gas. Once, got a demand from a customer to my manager to fire me for not being their gas monkey.

[snafugundam]

Wow. Is this seriously a thing?

I have never seen a gas station that wasn’t Self Service. And I’m over 30 at this point.

Wow.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[nunyabizni]

2017 was a simpler time

[ernestotorres]

[tagurself]

[theheartbrokenlibertarian]

Do NOT bother my boy. 

DO. FUCKING. NOT.

What a wonderful way to wake up! Every little boy deserves a dog, and every dog deserves a little boy.

[onemancabaret-deactivated202412]

WHEN HE PULLS THE BLANKET BACK OVER HIM AND GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE NOSE REBLOG IF YOU AGREE

[quarksbar]

If you ever want to have a horrible time, go on ebay and search “star trek mask”….

[quarksbar]

do you think this is a fucking game??!

[quarksbar]

[otakusapien]

vampires being the lactose intolerants of the monster world 

“Yes I’m violently allergic to garlic but what’s the point of unliving without Italian food?”

“I know silver is bad for me but this necklace was SO cute and it was on sale”

“Technically sunlight burns my skin but with enough layers and aloe lotion-”

[tedkordisanasshole]

#‘i don’t care how many holy symbols were at the met gala anne hathaway was supposed to be there and i haven’t seen her in 250 years

[renthebarbarian]

i love how this post just casually drops the fact that anne hathaway too is an immortal

[imthelesbian-archive-deactivate]

[candyredterezii]

Man that guy who painted the Mona Lisa is pretty good

anyone know if he does commissions?

[candyredterezii]

Bad news guys…

[captorations]

lemme guess. that was his only normal piece and the rest is sherlock inflation art

[angelsguideher]

I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”

[midnightcowg1rl-deactivated2020]

I literally think about this post every day

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

Next level joke right here

[tommyholland]

“you had no childhood if you didn’t watch that movie!” I start to feel it. my memory is fading. I have forgotten the day I learned to ride a bike. I forget my first day of kindergarden. It has happened. I had no childhood

[dyscomancer]

At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard

[dyscomancer]

“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years

“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess

“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways

[dyscomancer]

the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you

like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”

give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass

[dyscomancer]

AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened

what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there

“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren

[dyscomancer]

i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them