Ummmm....Derh? @zachsquat - Tumblr Blog

“Nearly everyone with ADHD answers an emphatic yes to the question: “Have you always been more sensitive than others to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you have failed or fallen short?” This is the definition of a condition called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. When I ask ADHDers to elaborate on it, they say: “I’m always tense. I can never relax. I can’t just sit there and watch a TV program with the rest of the family. I can’t turn my brain and body off to go to sleep at night. Because I’m sensitive to my perception that other people disapprove of me, I am fearful in personal interactions.” They are describing the inner experience of being hyperactive or hyper-aroused. Remember that most kids after age 14 don’t show much overt hyperactivity, but it’s still present internally, if you ask them about it. The emotional response to the perception of failure is catastrophic for those with the condition. The term “dysphoria” means “difficult to bear,” and most people with ADHD report that they “can hardly stand it.” They are not wimps; disapproval hurts them much more than it hurts neurotypical people. If emotional pain is internalized, a person may experience depression and loss of self-esteem in the short term. If emotions are externalized, pain can be expressed as rage at the person or situation that wounded them. In the long term, there are two personality outcomes. The person with ADHD becomes a people pleaser, always making sure that friends, acquaintances, and family approve of him. After years of constant vigilance, the ADHD person becomes a chameleon who has lost track of what she wants for her own life. Others find that the pain of failure is so bad that they refuse to try anything unless they are assured of a quick, easy, and complete success. Taking a chance is too big an emotional risk. Their lives remain stunted and limited. For many years, rejection-sensitive dysphoria has been the hallmark of what has been called atypical depression. The reason that it was not called “typical” depression is that it is not depression at all but the ADHD nervous system’s instantaneous response to the trigger of rejection.”

—

“Devastated by Disapproval” - William Dodson, M.D., ADDitude Magazine

I did both of those two personality outcomes. Magic or something, I guess. -J

(via actuallyadhd)

I don’t think this is necessarily exclusive to ADHD - it’s extremely familiar to me and, while I have some ADD-ish traits, I very definitely don’t have hyperactivity. It sounds a hell of a lot like a lot of other autistic-or-otherwise-neurodiverse-but-not-necessarily-ADHD people I know too. And it also sounds a lot like something that comes from a (vaguely complex-PTSD-ish?) unconsciously-learnt response to repeated experience (or, in less clinical-sounding terms, internalised oppression), rather than something that necessarily comes from a particular cognitive difference.

(via spikyprofile)

Perhaps this is different where you live, but here “ADHD” now is an umbrella term that covers both “Hyperactive type” and “inattentive type.” I am inattentive type, and I must say that reading this article was like looking in a mirror, it’s amazing how accurate it all is to my life. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and somehow never knew that this was common in ADHD. But I think you’re right that it might have more to do with our conditioning than with our neurotype. I’d love to learn more abut this and see if there’s any more information on the causes.

(via squidsqueen)

actuallyadhd

One thing that still makes me laugh is that they keep saying they don’t know how we get RSD. Like… really? You don’t know how ADHDers develop RSD? We spend our lives being told off for things we can’t control and having moral judgments applied to our symptoms (which again, we can’t control), and you don’t understand why “overreact” to criticism or perceived criticism? Really? Have any of you read anything about anxiety, perfectionism, and so on? Like, it’s not different for us just because we have ADHD. Mental health is still mental health.

-J

avoidantarmadillo

angelicavpd

an authority figure: [expresses slight, arguable disappointment in me]

me, shaking: Wow. Can’t Believe I’m The Worst Person Alive

avpdkaneki

someone: do u want to go do this thing w me

me: ……………in theory

avoidantcoyote

submission requested by anon

avoidantcoyote

shitborderlinesdo

The Avoidant Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Avoidant Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity issues, which include low self-esteem. I find myself unappealing or inferior to others.

I set unrealistic standards for myself, and I am reluctant to pursue any of my goals or take personal risks or engage in new activities which involve interpersonal contact.

I am empathic, although I focus more on negative feelings which are directed at me. I am sensitive to criticism and rejection.

I am reluctant to get too close to people and maintain a distance to keep people from knowing me too well.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check THREE or more of the following, one of which MUST be the first one listed:

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, and panic in reaction to social situations. I worry about the negative effects experiences, and I am afraid of embarrassing myself.

I detach myself from social contacts and don’t initiate anything in order to avoid embarrassing myself or ruining the relationship.

I find myself unable to fully enjoy myself or properly engage in experiences which should make me happy. It’s hard for me to take interest in things.

I avoid intimacy and getting too close to people (romantic relationships, friendships etc.).

__ / 4

Section IV Must check FOUR or more of the following:

I avoid activities with involve significant interpersonal contact because of my fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.

I’m pretty unwilling to get involved with people unless I’m certain they’re going to like me.

I hold back in personal relationships because I’m afraid of being shamed or ridiculed.

I’m preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.

I feel uncomfortable in new interpersonal situations because of my feelings of inadequacy.

I see myself as socially inept, unappealing, or inferior to others.

I’m reluctant to take personal risks or engage in new activities because I may embarrass myself.

__ / 7

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum but relate to many of the symptoms listed, check out General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. If you feel you related to some of the symptoms, but feel many of your symptoms weren’t listed, try Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you cleared Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum, look into other personality disorders.

Other disorders that are commonly diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder include depression, bipolar, and anxiety disorders, especially social anxiety disorder.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors associated:

I feel like group settings are easier than one-on-one conversations because there is less attention focused on me.

I have no idea how to take compliments.

In fact, compliments can often make me nervous because then I feel like I have to meet an expectation, and I am confident I will fail.

I often avoid opportunities which could be good for me because I am afraid of failing.

I have phone anxiety.

Sometimes I can take a long time to reply to people because I’m afraid my response will be criticized.

I avoid initiating contact with people as much as I can.

I hate being the one to make plans. I’d much rather someone else make plans, and I’ll just go along with them. (Or maybe I’ll avoid them too.)

I tend to delete posts because I become afraid of what other people will think of them.

I hate being angry or sad or expressing any form of negative emotion in front of other people.

I’m so afraid of asking for help, even when I desperately need it.

I find I am often unable to go to work/school or to find a job/apply for school because I worry a job/school would be too critical of me.

I am bad at picking up on cues like flirting or other forms of positive expression.

I really look up to some of the people in my life because I truly feel they are better people than I am.

I fantasize about idealized relationships with other people.

__ / 15

kellyreinhart

Ugh

avoidantcoyote

Reblogging this for people’s use visiting this blog.

zachsquat

*sigh* only 2 of these dont apply.......woohoo! Way to not person *high-fives self* *hesitantly pushes post icon*

avoidantcoyote

sofarawayy-deactivated20210922

Please boost What is happening with #NoDAPL and Standing Rock all over. What is happening is genocide. Do not allow this to go down in history as our collective American complicity of investing in Native/Indigenous genocide