Hey u said feederism is out of your mind... how? I've always felt... icky? About having this fetish... and if able want to live a more 'normal' life.... how did you erase it from ur mind?
Also congrats on ur weight loss/ muscle gain!!!
I mean don't get me wrong, I'm just talking about my experience. And it's not over yet, the urge could come back strong, idk. So take what I say with a grain of salt, it might not work for you.
For me, it's about not reinforcing it. Building other sexual focuses that are way more satisfying for me. Ive looked at fat stuff maybe twice in the last 4 months, and it's gotten to the point where it doesn't really turn me on anymore. When I would jerk to feederism/ fat stuff, I'd always feel ashamed after finishing. Post nut clarity as they call it lol. I'd feel shame for masterbating to 'that'. Sometimes it would just be indifference at best. I recently started watching a type of regular porn that I'm really into. And when I finish, I feel amazing afterwards. It feels like it's more who I am. And I'm not ashamed after finishing anymore. I got so used to it after 10 years.
For me, I think being with my ex made me discover that who I was, a gainer who's sexuality revolved around fat, is not who I actually am. But ironically it wasn't until after the breakup that I realised what satisfied me the most was being intimate with my ex. And so I explored regular porn more, and Ive been watching that ever since. Connecting with someone is what's most important to me. And now my sexuality finally reflects that.
Ive also heard that detoxing from masterbation helps a lot. Porn in general tends to overstimulate our brains and build strong connections that can be damaging. In short, it warps our brains. Detoxing allows your sexuality to come to you, instead of vice versa. But it's hard, I've been trying to detox and I got to 17 days. It's my long term plan tho. My mind won't be clouded, and I'll be able to just see what turns me on out in the world.
